Original subtitles

BANG! YOU'RE DEAD!

DICK, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DIE.

GEORGE, I'M NOT PLAYING THAT STUPID GAME.

OH, COME ON, DICK.

ALL THE BEAVERS ARE PLAYING.

GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY YOU WON'T.

ALL THE BEAVERS ARE PLAYING.

WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

IT'S BEAVER HUNT WEEK, JOANNA.

YOU SURPRISE A FELLOW BEAVER

AND SAY, "BANG, BANG, YOU'RE DEAD,"

AND WHATEVER HE'S DOING,

HE'S GOT TO SCREAM, CLUTCH HIS CHEST,

FALL DOWN, AND PRETEND TO DIE.

AND, DICK, YOU'RE NOT PLAYING?

I GUESS I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME.

I KNEW THAT WHEN YOU DROPPED OUT OF THE SPIT-FOR-DISTANCE CONTEST.

HI, HARLEY.

HEY, JOANNA.

HI, BEAVER BROTHER.

HARLEY, IF YOU'VE COME OVER HERE TO SHOOT ME, FORGET IT.

I'M NOT PLAYING.

HAVE NO FEAR.

I WOULDN'T SHOOT SOMEBODY I'M ABOUT TO HIT UP FOR A JOB.

OH, HARLEY, YOU LOST ANOTHER ONE?

YEAH, I WAS WORKING AT THE CARWASH,

AND MANAGER'S WIFE WAS INSPECTING THE PLACE,

AND I ACCIDENTALLY HOT WAXED HER.

I TRIED TO WASH IT OFF, BUT IT KEPT BEADING UP.

HARLEY, I'M AFRAID WE DON'T HAVE ANY JOBS RIGHT NOW.

OH. WELL, I'LL JUST KEEP COMING BY EVERY DAY

TO SEE IF AN OPENING HAS INDEED OCCURRED.

BEFORE YOU TIE YOURSELF TO THAT ROUTINE,

WHY DON'T WE CHECK TODAY'S CLASSIFIEDS.

OH, HERE'S A NEW LISTING.

"WANTED: HOT WAX OPERATOR."

SORRY, HARLEY.

OH, HERE'S A NEW ONE.

"GO GETTER WANTED FOR HIGH-PAYING SALES POSITION."

THERE'S A PHONE NUMBER. WHY DON'T YOU CALL?

I'M NOT TOO GOOD ON THE PHONE.

I'M MUCH BETTER UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL.

NO, I'LL JUST KEEP COMING BY HERE EVERY DAY.

WHY DON'T--

WHY DON'T I MAKE THE CALL FOR YOU?

OH, GEE, THANKS, DICK.

AND TELL THEM I'M REAL GOOD AT SALES,

UNLESS OF COURSE IT'S TELEPHONE SALES.

UH, HELLO, WHO AM I SPEAKING TO?

UH, MR. DEVORE.

YES, I'M CALLING FOR A FRIEND ABOUT YOUR AD.

GO GETTER, YOU BET.

WHY AM I CALLING FOR HIM?

UH, HE'S GONE TO GET SOMETHING.

OKAY, I WILL.

YOU HAVE AN INTERVIEW TOMORROW MORNING AT 9:00.

- I DO? - OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

BOY, MY IS CHANGING FROM THIS MOMENT ON.

THANKS TO YOU, DICK, I'M GOING TO START A WHOLE NEW LIFE.

BANG BANG, YOU'RE DEAD.

[GROANS]

[GASPING]

DICK, SOMETHING IMPORTANT HAS COME UP,

AND MICHAEL HAS TO TAKE ME TO BOSTON THIS FRIDAY.

OH, THAT SOUNDS SERIOUS.

OH, IT IS.

THE NEW SPRING FASHIONS ARE OUT.

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU A DAY OFF

SO YOU CAN GO AND BUY SOME CLOTHES?

DON'T BE A SILLY.

I CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY ANYTHING

ON WHAT YOU PAY ME,

BUT THEY CAN'T STOP ME FROM TRYING ON

EVERY SIZE THREE IN THE STORE.

WELL, AS LONG AS IT'S COMPLETELY FRIVOLOUS.

GOOD, I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND.

DICK, GUESS WHAT.

HARLEY GOT THAT JOB YOU SENT HIM OFF TO INTERVIEW FOR.

YEAH, SAY HELLO TO THE NEW REGIONAL SALESMAN

FOR ETERNITY LIMITED.

WHAT ARE YOU SELLING?

I'M GLAD YOU ASKED THAT PROVOCATIVE QUESTION.

A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT DEATH.

OH, YUCK, I'M OUT OF HERE.

HARLEY, YOU'RE NOT SELLING LIFE INSURANCE.

OH, NO, NO, NO, I'D ONLY DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT

AS A LAST RESORT.

I'M SELLING BURIAL PLOTS.

ACTUALLY WE'RE SUPPOSED TO CALL THEM FINAL COMFORT ZONES.

SO HOW MANY SHOULD I PUT YOU DOWN FOR?

HOW MUCH ARE THESE... COMFORT ZONES?

$350, AND IT'S A REAL EASY PAYMENT PLAN.

YOU JUST PLUNK DOWN THE WHOLE WAD UP FRONT.

WELL, HARLEY, I THINK THIS IS SOMETHING DICK AND I SHOULD DISCUSS FIRST.

YEAH, MEANWHILE WHY DON'T YOU GO SELL TO SOMEONE ELSE.

ACTUALLY I WAS TOLD TO MAKE MY FIRST SALE TO TASTE MAKERS,

PEOPLE WHO SET THE TREND FOR THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY.

I HARLEY THINK THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY IS GOING TO--

BUT THE TILDENS WERE IN EUROPE,

SO I THOUGHT I'D TRY YOU.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

HONEY, I KNOW WE'VE NEVER TALKED ABOUT THIS,

BUT MY PARENTS ARE SORT OF SAVING A PLACE

FOR ME IN THE FAMILY PLOT.

OH, GREAT.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, HAVE GEORGE PLANT ME IN THE GARDEN?

OH, WHAT THE HECK, HONEY. LET'S GET PLANTED TOGETHER.

OH, BOY. ENJOY YOUR PURCHASE.

AND MAY YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE IT IN YOUR LIFETIME.

MAY I HELP YOU?

KYLE NORDOFF, MRS. LOUDON.

FROM THE RECYCLING CENTER.

WE MET AT THE BEAVER PICNIC.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU WERE THE ONE THAT WENT AROUND COLLECTING THE...

ALUMINUM CANS.

YEAH, YEAH.

THANKS TO THE BEAVER BELCHING CONTEST

THAT PICNIC IS ONE OF MY TOP GROSSING DAYS.

GEORGE PUT A BUNCH OF CANS IN THE BASEMENT FOR YOU.

OH, IS HE AROUND?

THOUGHT HE MIGHT GIVE ME A HAND.

OH, SURE. GEORGE?

- YES, JOANNE. - BANG! BANG! YOU'RE DEAD.

NO!

IT'S A SET UP. OH...

JOANNA, HOW COULD YOU?

- OH. - [GROANS]

GEORGE, I'M SORRY.

I-- I FORGIVE YOU.

YOU USED ME.

IS YOUR HUSBAND... AROUND?

FORGET IT. DICK'S NOT PLAYING.

HE THINKS IT'S SILLY.

HE USED THAT WORD, "SILLY"?

OH, HI, KYLE.

DICK, WHAT'S THIS ABOUT YOU NOT PLAYING BEAVER HUNT.

WELL, I THINK SOMEONE SHOULD LIVE TO WRITE ABOUT IT.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY YOU JOINED THE BEAVERS

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO BEAVER STUFF.

WHAT DID YOU THINK WE WERE GOING TO DO,

COMPARE FABRIC SOFTENERS?

COME ON, KYLE, LET'S GO GET THOSE CANS.

OH, BOY. I CAN'T BELIEVE I BOUGHT ONE OF THOSE GRAVE SITS

- BECAUSE I HEARD YOU DID. - YOU DID?

YEAH, AND I WISH I HAD WAITED TILL THE TILDENS CAME BACK FROM EUROPE.

SOMEBODY ACTUALLY BOUGHT A GRAVE SITE BECAUSE OF ME?

I KNOW I DID.

HI, ALL.

TURBO-SINE SERVICE FOR BOSTON

NOW DEPARTING ON TRACK ONE.

MICHAEL, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

YOU'RE 20 MINUTES LATE.

NOT MY FAULT, DIVINE MISS S.

HAL WAS LATE GETTING BACK FROM THE STATION.

HE WAS OFF BUYING BURIAL PLOTS

BECAUSE HE HEARD DICK DID.

OH, SO IT'S YOUR FAULT.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THIS FACE WAS PERFECT 20 MINUTES AGO.

NOW I HAVE TO GO FILL IN POUT LINES.

I'LL BE USING THE BRUSHER IF YOU WANT TO WASH.

YOU HAVE TO ASK?

WELL, THANKS FOR THE CANS.

JUST LOAD ME UP. I CAN TAKE IT FROM HERE.

- YOU SURE? - NO PROBLEM.

GOOD-BYE, MRS. LOUDON.

GOOD-BYE, GUN-CONTROL PARTY POOPER TOO GOOD TO BE A BEAVER.

IT'S ALL A MATTER OF BALANCE.

LISTEN, I CAN GIVE YOU A HAND.

HEY, I'M A PROFESSIONAL. JUST THROW IT OVER MY SHOULDER.

WELL, WE'LL SEE YOU LATER,

MR. BUTTERWORTH, HOLIER THAN THOU,

IPSY PIPSY.

BANG! BANG! YOU'RE DEAD!

- [KYLE SCREAMS] - [CANS CRASH]

I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT, LOUDON!

YOU MEAN YOU ARE PLAYING?

BANG BANG, YOU'RE DEAD.

[GROANING]

HI, I'M LARRY.

THIS IS MY BROTHER DARRYL,

AND THIS IS MY OTHER BROTHER DARRYL.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S ANOTHER FELLOW OUTSIDE DOING THE SAME THING.

- YEAH. - WE WAS HAVING A SIMILAR PROBLEM OVER TO THE CAFE

TILL DARRYL HERE STARTED CHECKING THEM LITTLE DATES ON THE MILK.

WE UNDERSTAND YOU BOUGHT YOURSELVES SOME FINAL COMFORT ZONES

FOR WHEN YOU AND THE LOVELY MISS JOANNA CROAK.

YEAH?

WELL, WHEN WE HEARD THAT, WE BOUGHT US SOME RIGHT SPOTS.

WE JUST GOT BACK FROM GIVING THEM A LOOK-SEE.

WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO, TRY THEM ON?

NO, WE JUST STOOD ON THEM AND SANK IN.

THAT'S TO BE EXPECTED IN A SWAMP.

A SWAMP?

YEAH, WE WAS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED, TOO.

OH, GREAT, I GOT HARLEY A JOB SELLING GRAVES IN A SWAMP.

I BETTER CALL HIM.

TELL HIM THANKS FOR US.

HELLO, MRS. ESTIN.

YEAH, THIS IS DICK LOUDON.

IS HARLEY THERE?

OH, UH, DO YOU KNOW SOME PLACE WHERE HE CAN BE REACHED?

DO YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW THE PHONE NUMBER AT THE JAIL?

- ESTIN, HARLEY E. - YO.

YOUR BAIL'S BEEN POSTED BY MR. LOUDON HERE.

OH, THANKS.

BOY, SURE IS GOOD TO BE FREE AGAIN.

DID MY WIFE WAIT FOR ME?

HARLEY, YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE AN HOUR.

YOU LOSE ALL TRACK OF TIME IN THERE.

HARLEY, I'M SORRY I ASKED YOU TO ANSWER THAT AD.

I FEEL LIKE THIS IS ALL MY RESPONSIBILITY.

OH, DON'T WORRY, DICK.

FOR A JOB THAT GOOD, THERE'S BOUND TO BE A DOWNSIDE.

HI, HARLEY. DICK.

MICHAEL, I THOUGHT YOU AND STEPHANIE WERE GOING TO BOSTON.

WE ARE DID, BUT AS WE WERE DRIVING,

IT SUDDENLY HIT ME.

HARLEY, JAIL, CHANNEL 8 NEWS EXCLUSIVE.

OFFICER, WHY ISN'T HE STILL BEHIND BARS?

I'VE GOT A CAMERA CREW COMING.

SORRY. HE'S FREE TO GO.

GO? SO SOON?

SURELY WE CAN LOSE THIS MAN IN THE SYSTEM FOR EIGHT OR TEN MINUTES.

LISTEN, HARLEY. DON'T LEAVE TOWN.

THEY'LL BE HANDING DOWN YOUR INDICTMENT ANY DAY NOW.

YOU CAN'T INDICT HARLEY.

YOU SHOULD ARREST THE GUY WHO HIRED HIM, DEVORE.

IT'S HARD TO ARREST SOMEBODY YOU CAN'T PROVE EXISTS.

BUT THAT'S CRAZY.

I TALKED TO HIM MYSELF.

HIS PHONE NUMBER WAS IN THE PAPER.

- PAY PHONE. - HARLEY, YOU MET HIM.

WHERE WAS HIS OFFICE?

IT WAS RIGHT ON MAIN STREET.

AHA, WHAT WAS THE ADDRESS?

NO, IT WAS RIGHT ON MAIN STREET.

WE'D MEET IN FRONT OF THE YUMMY FREEZE

AND KIND OF KEEP WALKING.

OKAY, SO THE GUY IS CLEVER,

BUT FOLLOW THE MONEY.

THAT'LL LEAD YOU TO THE GUILT PARTY.

ALL THE CHECKS WERE MADE OUT TO, ENDORSED BY, AND CASHED BY HARLEY ESTIN.

BUT HE DIDN'T KEEP IT.

HARLEY, TELL HIM WHAT YOU DID WITH THE MONEY.

I GAVE IT TO THAT GUY WE CAN'T PROVE EXISTS.

BUT-BUT HE'S INNOCENT.

SHOW ME SOME PROOF.

LOOK AT HIM.

I'D BUY IT, BUT I THINK THE COURTS HAVE STRUCK DOWN

THE LOOK-AT-HIM DEFENSE.

LOOK, THERE MUST BE SOME WAY WE CAN GET HARLEY OFF.

PROVE THAT HE DIDN'T KNOW THIS OPERATION WAS A FRAUD,

AND HE CAN BE OUT CELEBRATING

WITH THREE FAT LADIES AND A SIX PACK.

WHOA, BRAINSTORM.

MICHAEL, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO HEAR IT.

ABSCAM, STARING DICK LOUDON.

STOP RIGHT THERE.

HERE'S THE SCENARIO.

WE HIDE A MIC AND CAMERA AT THE INN.

HARLEY, YOU LURE DEVORE TO THE INN.

DEVORE SELLS YOU SOME PLOT, AND WE GET THE WHOLE THING ON VIDEOTAPE,

AND BINGO, OUR RATINGS SHOOT UP RIGHT BELOW THIRD.

MICHAEL, THAT IS THE STUPIDEST IDEA I EVER HEARD.

- COULD WORK. - LET'S DO IT.

WHAT YOU NEED IS ANYTHING THAT SHOWS HARLEY

IS AN UNWITTING DUPE.

WHAT'S THE BEST EVIDENCE WE CAN GET?

ANYTHING THAT SHOWS DEVORE CALLING THE SHOTS.

HE MAKES THE SALES PITCH OR TAKES THE MONEY, THAT'S GOOD.

IF HE SAYS SOMETHING LIKE, "NOBODY MOVE OR THE BROAD GETS IT," THAT'S BAD.

THIS ISN'T DANGEROUS, IS IT?

THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

ANYTHING HAPPENS, I'LL BE IN THE NEXT ROOM READY TO POUNCE.

GOT ANY BREWSKIES?

NO.

OH, WE'RE ALL SET.

NOW, MAKE SURE DEVORE SITS HERE

BECAUSE A CAMERA IS IN THIS BOX.

- GEORGE? - YEAH.

READY TO DO A LEVEL CHECK ON THE MICROPHONE?

RIGHT.

[CLEARS THROAT]

TESTING. TESTING.

[GEORGE SCREAMS]

FINE.

THAT SHOULD PICK UP ANYTHING IN THE ROOM.

DEVORE'S ON HIS WAY.

I HAD HIM PAGED AT THE YUMMY FREEZE.

HE SAID HE WAS LEAVING TOWN ON VACATION,

SO QUICK THINKING ON MY PART SAVED THE DAY.

WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?

WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO,

THAT YOU WERE A LARGE FAMILY THAT WANTED TO PAY CASH.

I SAID I'D SET THE HOOK BUT I COULDN'T REEL YOU IN.

I GOT YOU TO LISTEN TO THE MUSIC

BUT COULDN'T MAKE YOU DANCE.

- I-- - OKAY, OKAY.

AND THEN HE CUT ME OFF AND SAID HE'D BE RIGHT OVER.

I'LL KEEP A LOOKOUT.

NICK, HAVRE YOU SEEN MICHAEL?

HE'S BUSY.

HE AND GEORGE ARE MONITORING THE ABSCAM THING.

MICHAEL, GET OUT HERE!

[MICHAEL SCREAMS]

GEORGE, CAN YOU GET UP?

THAT A BOY. WALK IT OFF.

YOU-YOU CALLED, CUPCAKE?

MICHAEL, IT'S BAD ENOUGH I CAN'T AFFORD THE FASHION.

IF YOU KEEP STALLING,

I WON'T EVEN GET TO TRY THEM ON.

STEPH, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S SUFFERING HERE.

I'D GIVE ANYTHING TO SEE YOU IN THOSE OUTFITS.

YOU WOULD?

THEN I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO BRING THEM HERE.

THEY LET YOU DO THAT?

THEY DO IF YOU BUY THEM.

CREDIT CARD?

SHE CAN BE PRETTY DAMN UNDERSTANDING SOMETIMES.

THEY'RE HARD TO FIND.

IT'S HIM. HE'S HERE.

ALL RIGHT, PLACES, EVERYBODY.

NOW, REMEMBER. WE'VE GOT TO GET DEVORE TO TAKE THE MONEY.

IF WE DON'T DO THIS RIGHT, DEVORE GOES SCOT-FREE,

AND HARLEY COULD GET 10 YEARS IN PRISON.

OKAY, LET'S HAVE FUN WITH IT.

- OH, HI, MR. DEVORE. - HI, HARLEY.

I SEE YOU CAME RIGHT FROM THE OFFICE.

YOU MUST BE THE LOUDONS.

I'M EMMETT DEVORE. NICE TO MEET YOU.

I'M SORRY IF I'M A LITTLE STICKY.

HEY, THIS IS MAPLE SYRUP COUNTRY. WE'RE USED TO IT.

HARLEY TELLS ME YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE

MAKING UP YOUR MINDS.

WELL, I GUESS THAT'S WHY HE WANTED US TO TALK TO HIS BOSS.

BOSS? OH, NO, NO.

FRIEND.

BOY, THIS IS A BIG PLACE,

BUT I GUESS YOU NEED THE SPACE WITH THOSE 16 KIDS.

HOW MANY?

HARLEY TOLD ME YOU HAD 16 KIDS.

RIGHT, WE TEND TO THINK OF THE TWINS AS ONE.

I THINK IT IS JUST GREAT

THAT YOU WANT TO KEEP THE FAMILY TOGETHER

EVEN IN THE HEREAFTER.

WELL, INSEPARABLE IN LIFE, INSEPARABLE IN DEATH.

WHERE ARE THE KIDS?

THEY'RE NOT HERE.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL US ABOUT THE GRAVEYARD.

UH, CERTAINLY.

EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME.

WHOA.

TAKE IT FROM ME, AFTER THIS GRAVEYARD,

HEAVEN MAY BE A DISAPPOINTMENT.

IT'S GOT A BEAUTIFUL VIEW OF THE RIVER,

AND THE PRICE IS CRIMINAL.

YOU'RE REALLY QUITE THE SALESMAN. AREN'T YOU, MR. DEVORE?

NO, NOT REALLY.

I JUST GO BY WHAT MY FRIEND HARLEY HERE TELLS ME.

OH.

AND YOU KNOW THAT HARLEY IS NOT GOING TO STEER YOU INTO A BAD DEAL.

I MEAN, LOOK AT HIM.

OH, WHO'S THIS?

HI, MOM. HI, POP.

HE MUST BE ONE OF OUR KIDS.

WHY, MIKEY, WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE HOME, DEAR.

LISTEN, I WAS TRYING TO WATCH TV,

AND SOMETHING WAS INTERFERING WITH THE PICTURE.

OH, I KNOW WHAT IT IS.

IF YOU COULD JUST MOVE UP A LITTLE THERE--

UHF.

IF YOU COULD JUST SLIDE DOWN.

THAT-- THERE, NOW I'M SURE MY RECEPTION WILL BE A LOT BETTER.

JUST GO ON WITH YOUR CONVERSATION

AS IF I'D NEVER BEEN HERE.

IN FACT, YOU MAY WANT TO BACK UP A FEW SENTENCES.

CUTE KID.

AND THAT'S WHY WE DON'T WANT TO BURY HIM JUST ANYWHERE.

WELL, LET'S SEE. 16 KIDS.

WE'LL COUNT THE QUINTS AS FIVE THIS TIME.

THAT'S 18 PLOTS.

WHAT-- WHAT WOULD THE-- WHAT WOULD THE DAMAGE BE?

HARLEY.

OH, LET'S SEE.

UH, 350 PER LOVED ONE...

WHOOPS, I JUST TOOK THE SQUARE ROOT OF IT.

$6300, HARLEY.

WELL, WHY DON'T I--

WHY DON'T I JUST-- JUST GIVE YOU

3,000 AS A DOWN PAYMENT IN CASH.

THAT'S NICE, BUT THE BUCKS STOP THERE.

THEY DON'T HAVE TO.

TAKE THE MONEY, HARLEY.

HEY, THIS HAS BEEN FUN.

BUT I'VE JUST GOT A PLANE TO CATCH.

PLEASE, DON'T GET UP.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO RUIN MIKEY'S TV RECEPTION.

HARLEY, WALK ME TO MY CAR.

WELL, OKAY.

HARLEY, AREN'T YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING?

YEAH. WHAT?

YOU CAN'T GO NOW.

I GAVE YOU MY MONEY.

NOW I WANT MY PAPERWORK.

RIGHT, RIGHT, I CAN'T GO NOW.

I'VE GOT RECEIPTS TO SIGN

AND DEEDS TO WRITE,

AND, UH, OH, LET'S NOT FORGET

THOSE "CONGRATULATIONS, YOU OWN A GRAVE" CARDS

TO FILL OUT.

RIGHT.

- HARLEY. - LOOK, MR. DEVORE.

YOU'RE IN A HURRY. I'M BUSY.

YOU ALWAYS END UP WITH THE MONEY ANYWAY,

SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE IT AND HAVE A WONDERFUL VACATION.

BANG! BANG! YOU'RE DEAD!

[SCREAMS]

WHAT'S WITH HIM?

NOTHING. IT'S JUST A GAME.

BANG! BANG! YOU'RE DEAD.

KYLE, GO RECYCLE SOMETHING.

UH, THIS IS TOO WEIRD.

I'M GOING.

HERE, HERE, TAKE-- TAKE SOME CASH WITH YOU.

HERE'S A FIFTY.

HERE'S A TWO. THEY'RE LUCKY!

NOW YOU'RE NOT PLAYING.

LISTEN, I'M GOING TO BRING YOU UP

BEFORE THE BEAVER DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE, MISTER.

YOU'LL BE LUCKY IF YOU GET AWAY WITH PEANUT BUTTER DOWN YOUR PANTS.

DISASTERVILLE, DICK.

AND YOU REALLY LOOKED PATHETIC THERE AT THE END.

BUT STOP HIM. HE'S GETTING AWAY.

AND DO WHAT? BOOK HIM FOR MAKING YOU ALL LOOK LIKE CHUMPS?

OH, HARLEY, WE'RE SORRY. WE WERE TRYING TO HELP.

I'M SORRY, TOO,

ESPECIALLY FOR ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO LOST MONEY

BUYING PLOTS FROM ME.

WELL, ME INCLUDED.

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU BOUGHT A PLOT?

TWO. ONE FOR ME AND ONE FOR THE MISSUS.

IT WAS OUR ANNIVERSARY.

HARLEY, IF YOU BOUGHT SWAMPLAND, TOO,

THEN YOU'RE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL DUPE.

NOW, WAIT JUST A MINUTE.

HARLEY, HE'S SAYING YOU'RE INNOCENT.

OH, OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

ALL RIGHT, WHERE'S THE PHONE?

I'M GOING TO PUT OUT AND APB.

WHOA, AN APB.

I NEVER DID THAT BEFORE.

LOUDON, I'VE GOT JUST TWO WORDS FOR YOU.

PEANUT BUTTER.

- WHAT? - WE DIED FOR YOU, DICK.

NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.

[TOGETHER] BANG! BANG! YOU'RE DEAD.

I-- I ALWAYS LOVED YOU.

MEOW.