Original subtitles

[HAMMERING]

OH, MAID?

I BROKE A JAR OF COLD CREAM IN OUR ROOM. NASTY MESS.

WE'LL BE OUT FOR 15 MINUTES.

HAVE IT DONE BY THEN.

[IMITATING] "NASTY MESS."

"NASTY MESS."

"HAVE IT DONE BY THEN."

HOW CAN PEOPLE TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THAT?

OH, GUESTS TREAT ME LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME.

I JUST SMILE, SHRUG,

AND DROP THEIR LUGGAGE IN A PUDDLE.

GEORGE...

WHEN THE SPENCER'S CHECK OUT...

YOU GOT IT.

[HAMMERING]

[WHISPERS] GEORGE.

WHERE'S JOANNA?

[WHISPERS] I THINK SHE'S UPSTAIRS.

[LOUDLY] GREAT!

[CLINGING]

I GOT A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR HER.

I HOPE IT'S NOT TOMATO PLANTS, A SPADE,

AND A WIDE-BRIMMED HAT. THAT'S WHAT I GOT HER.

NO. NO, IT'S-IT'S BEAUTIFUL CRYSTAL WIND CHIMES.

GOOD. NO OVERLAP.

GEORGE, WOULD YOU-- WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

WOULD-WOULD YOU CALL JOANNA AND HAVE HER GO OUTSIDE

WITH YOU, AND-AND THEN, I'LL HIDE THE PRESENT

IN THE ATTIC.

GIVE IT UP, DICK. SHE ALWAYS FINDS OUT

WHAT YOUR GIFT IS.

WELL, I'M-I'M CONFIDENT THE LAST TEN YEARS HAVE

BEEN A FLUKE.

GO AHEAD AND CALL HER.

[CLEARS THROAT] JOANNA!

JOANNA!

RIGHT HERE, GEORGE.

WHAT'S THIS BOX DOING ON THE STAIRS?

UH, NOTHING! NOTHING. YOU-- YOU DIDN'T OPEN IT, DID YOU?

NO.

SOUNDS LIKE WIND CHIMES.

WELL, IT'S-IT'S NOT! AND-- AND IT'S NOT

FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.

[CLATTERING]

AND I'M NOT RETURNING IT.

HI, ALL! WHERE'S THAT DAINTY BLONDE I LOVE TO DATE?

I THINK SHE'S UPSTAIRS, BUT, UH, DON'T RULE OUT

THE BASEMENT.

STUPID, STUPID, STUPID GUEST.

HI, PEACHES.

YOU LOOK... MUSSED.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO BLUE-COLLAR WORK IN SILK.

[PHONE RINGING]

STRATFORD INN.

OH, YES, MRS. VANDERKELLEN.

SHE'S RIGHT HERE. HOLD ON, PLEASE.

STEPHANIE? IT'S YOUR MOM.

SHE NEVER CALLS BEFORE NOON.

HELLO, MUMMY?

IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

OH, GOOD.

I WAS AFRAID THE STOCK MARKET HAD GONE KAPLUEY OR SOMETHING.

WELL, IF YOU REALLY WANT ME TO COME.

OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

MY EX-HUSBAND CARL IS GETTING MARRIED,

AND I'M GOING HOME FOR HIS WEDDING.

THIS IS AN EXPRESSION I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE,

SWEET PEA. IT'S ADORABLE, BUT ARE YOU HAPPY OR SAD?

I HAVEN'T DECIDED.

CARL IS THE REASON MY PARENTS CUT ME OFF.

THEY'VE NEVER FORGIVEN ME FOR LEAVING AND BECOMING

A PATHETIC WRETCH WHO CLEANS UP

LUMPS OF COLD CREAM.

BUT THAT'S WHY I LEFT. TO SHOW THEM I COULD MAKE

- MY OWN DECISIONS. - I THOUGHT YOU LEFT HIM

- BECAUSE HE WAS AN OLD COOT. - THAT TOO.

[SIGHS] THIS IS GOING TO BE DREADFUL.

[SIGHS] YOU WANT TO COME?

- WOW! - THANK YOU, ROSE.

PLEASE TELL MUMMY AND DADDY WE'VE ARRIVED.

YES, MISS.

WELCOME HOME. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

OH, GOD.

GOOD TO BE BACK AMONG MAHOGANY

AND BRASS AND RICH EARTH TONES.

OH, MY. WOW!

MICHAEL, THAT'S ALL YOU'VE SAID

SINCE WE SET FOOT ON THE GROUND.

GROUND. WOW!

WILL YOU GIVE IT A REST?

I WANT THEM TO THINK YOU'RE FIT FOR A VANDERKELLEN,

AND THEY WON'T UNLESS YOU STOP SALIVATING.

I'LL WATCH IT.

[SCOFFS] I JUST WANT THEM

TO FEEL TOWARDS ME, THE WAY I FEEL TOWARDS

ALL THESE THINGS!

OH! THAT'S THEM!

[INHALES] THIS IS IT!

I'M NOT GOING TO LET THEM GET TO ME.

[EXHALES]

PRINCESS!

DADDY!

MUMMY!

MY, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU!

MUMMY, DADDY, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MICHAEL HARRIS.

MICHAEL, HOW ARE YOU?

WOW.

LIKEWISE.

UH, STEPHANIE, SHALL I HAVE ROSE

BRING YOU AND YOUR FRIEND SOMETHING TO DRINK?

WE'VE STOCKED UP ON PERRIER.

WE HAVE PERRIER IN VERMONT.

[SCOFFS] WE WEREN'T IMPLYING THAT YOU DIDN'T.

I JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE THIRSTY.

WELL, WE'RE NOT.

WELL, THEN, HOW ABOUT A SNACK?

JUST BECAUSE I'VE BEEN GONE TWO YEARS, DOESN'T MEAN

I HAVEN'T EATEN.

UH, IF YOU WANT, AND I KNOW YOU

DO THIS IN VERMONT, YOU COULD SIT DOWN.

[LAUGHS]

YOUR FATHER HAS SOMETHING HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

YES. NOW, STEPHANIE, ABOUT ALL THIS MAID BUSINESS--

PICK, PICK, PICK!

FIRST THE PERRIER INSINUATION.

AND THEN, THAT JAB ABOUT THE SNACK.

AND NOW, YOU'RE HARASSING ME ABOUT MY JOB.

WHAT'S YOUR NEXT TARGET? MY BOYFRIEND?

TO FINISH WHAT YOUR FATHER WAS SAYING, WE WERE WRONG.

WE WERE WRONG TO PRESSURE YOU TO MARRY CARL.

WE WERE WRONG TO GIVE YOU AN ULTIMATUM.

WE WERE WRONG TO CUT YOU OFF.

OH.

THIS IS A DREAM, RIGHT?

NO, I AGREE WITH YOUR MOTHER. SHE WAS WRONG.

AND I WASN'T AS RIGHT AS I USUALLY AM.

WE JUST WANT YOU BACK HOME WHERE YOU BELONG.

FROM NOW ON, NO MORE INTERFERING.

WHAT DO YOU SAY, DEAR?

WELL, SINCE YOU ASKED NICELY, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. YES.

WELL, THAT'S JUST--

HERE'S $200.

THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION.

UH, ROSE, WE'RE READY!

OH, GOOD! YOU KNOW...

COGNAC IS NEVER QUITE RIGHT UNTIL IT'S REACHED

THE CENTURY MARK.

WOW!

I LIKE THIS BOY!

YOU DO?

- YOU-YOU DO? - YES.

YOU SOMETIMES FORGET TO APPRECIATE ALL THE THINGS

YOU HAVE UNTIL YOU SEE THEM THROUGH THE EYES OF SOMEONE

WHO IS A GOG.

WELL, MY PLEASURE. OH, I'M--

- OH! - OH, DEAR!

OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.

LITTLE SELTZER WHILE IT'S STILL WET,

WILL TAKE THAT RIGHT OUT.

SEE?

OH, DEAR.

THAT IS ALL, ROSE.

WELL, UH...

WELCOME HOME, STEPHANIE!

AND NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON.

OKAY. YOU CAN OPEN THEM.

YOUR ROOM, RIGHT?

RIGHT. [CHUCKLES]

TALK ABOUT THE LAP OF LUXURY.

MICHAEL...

IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS A SPOILED KID.

I HAD TO EARN EVERYTHING IN THIS ROOM.

I GOT THIS FOR FINISHING FINISHING SCHOOL.

AND I GOT THIS...

FOR EATING LIVER.

AND I GOT THIS...

FOR NOT DATING A MARINE.

HELLO, ALL MY THINGS!

STEPHY'S BACK FOR GOOD.

- HMM. - STEPH, THIS IS ALL

HAPPENING SO FAST.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

IT MEANS I'M THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD.

NO, WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ME?

MICHAEL, WHAT'S WRONG?

YOU'RE RUINING MY MOOD.

STEPH, YOUR PARENTS EVER LET PEOPLE VISIT, SAY...

PERMANENTLY?

OH.

THEY DO WHEN I SAY "PLEASE," AND LOOK LIKE THIS.

- WOULD YOU? - OH, MICHAEL.

ALL OF THESE THINGS WITHOUT YOU

WOULD ONLY BE...

NEARLY AS NICE.

OH, STEPH, THIS IS ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS

PEOPLE CAPTURE IN COUNTRY MUSIC.

[BOTH GIGGLE]

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

[KNOCKING]

COME IN!

WOULD THIS BE A GOOD TIME FOR ME TO UNPACK YOUR BAGS?

OH, DON'T BOTHER. I PACKED THEM.

I CAN UNPACK THEM.

YOU'VE CHANGED, MISS.

I HAVE?

WELL, MY HAIR'S A LITTLE CURLIER. DO YOU LIKE IT?

VERY MUCH.

YOU WERE SAYING?

OH, YES.

[KNOCKING]

- HI! - HI, MRS. V.

IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

DID YOU NOTICE WE RESTOCKED YOUR MAKE UP TABLE?

OH!

AND I'VE GOT YOU A NEW SOCIAL CALENDAR.

OH!

[EXHALES] IT'S ALL FILLED UP.

EVERY SINGLE MINUTE.

JUST FOR TWO WEEKS.

WE'LL FILL IN THE REST LATER.

WELL, WE'LL SEE YOU FOR DINNER AT...

SEVEN.

OH, AND CHANGE YOUR PERFUME, DEAR.

WE'RE HAVING VEAL.

[WHISPERS] GEORGE.

- WHERE'S JOANNA? - IN THE KITCHEN.

I-I GOT HER A REAL WINNER THIS TIME.

THEY'RE HAVING A QUILT SALE AT BENFORD'S

AND I SNAGGED A BEAUTY.

HI, HONEY.

HI. WHERE-WHERE-- WHERE YOU GOING?

WELL, THAT QUILT SALE AT BENFORD'S ENDS TOMORROW.

I'M GONNA BREAK DOWN AND BUY ONE.

BE BACK IN HALF AN HOUR.

[STAMMERS] I MEAN, DON'T-- DON'T YOU THINK,

YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT?

I MEAN, EVEN ON SALE, YOU KNOW, THOSE THINGS ARE--

ARE PRETTY EXPENSIVE.

- I HAVE SOME MONEY SAVED. - YEAH, WELL, I-I--

I THOUGHT-- I THOUGHT YOU WERE...

YOU WERE SAVING THAT FOR THE-- THE MICROWAVE.

- I'D RATHER HAVE THIS. - YEAH, BUT, I--

YOU KNOW, A-- A QUILT CAN'T

COOK A HOTDOG IN TWO MINUTES.

YEAH, BUT A MICROWAVE WOULD LOOK SILLY ON THE BED.

[CHUCKLES]

I BOUGHT THE QUILT, ALL RIGHT?

YOU DID?

FOR MY BIRTHDAY?

NO! NOT-- NOT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.

FOR-- FOR MONDAY.

JUST AN-AN INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE...

MONDAY GIFT.

BUT STEPHANIE, I THOUGHT YOU'D WANT TO TOAST

THE BRIDE AND GROOM.

MOTHER, IT WAS UNCOMFORTABLE ENOUGH,

SEEING CARL MARRY THAT BIMBETTE

WITHOUT BEING FORCED PUBLICLY

TO GIVE THEM MY BLESSING.

I JUST WASN'T PREPARED.

OF COURSE, YOU WERE PREPARED.

WE WROTE THE WORDS DOWN FOR YOU,

ON A PIECE OF PAPER.

I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL VICKY

THAT MY LOSS WAS HER GAIN.

[EXHALES] AND TODAY, YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU WEAR. ME!

STEPHANIE, YOU WERE ABOUT TO ATTEND THE WEDDING

OF AN EX-HUSBAND IN SAPPHIRES.

YOU AND DADDY ARE STILL TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD.

I THOUGHT YOU LIKED THAT.

WELL, I DO.

WITHIN REASON.

I THINK IF THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE,

MICHAEL AND I SHOULD LEAVE.

- STEPH! - STEPHANIE!

NOW, YOU KNOW YOU DON'T MEAN THAT.

I SAID IT, DIDN'T I?

- STEPHANIE, PLEASE. - YES, PLEASE!

I'LL LET YOU HANDLE THE PLEADING.

TELL DADDY TO MAKE THE ARRANGEMENTS.

WHERE DID YOUR NANNY GO WRONG?

OKAY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WE CAN'T LEAVE ALL THIS.

WE LIKE IT TOO MUCH.

MICHAEL, IT'S MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT.

BEING HERE MAKES ME FEEL...

ICKY.

STEPHANIE, YOUR MOTHER JUST TOLD ME ABOUT

THIS UGLY ROW THE TWO OF YOU HAVE HAD.

NOW, IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN SAY TO MAKE YOU

CHANGE YOUR MIND AND STAY?

NO.

PRINCESS, I KNOW I HAVEN'T SAID THIS ENOUGH TO YOU,

BUT...

I BOUGHT YOU A CAR.

A LAMBORGHINI?

REGAL RED.

WELL, SINCE YOU ASKED NICELY, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.

YES, I'LL STAY FOREVER.

MORNING, STEPH! AND CREW.

MICHAEL, I'M ABSOLUTELY PARCHED.

DRAW ME A DIET COLA.

OH, STEPH, WHAT A DAY I'VE HAD.

I'VE BEEN SWIMMING. AND I SAW A 3-D MOVIE.

AND I NEVER LEFT THIS WING.

[INHALES] THIS IS A REALLY NICE HOUSE.

YOU FORGOT THE LIME.

STEPH, CAN WE WALK AROUND THE GROUNDS TOGETHER TODAY?

UH, NOT TODAY, MICHAEL.

THE MASSEUSE IS COMING AT THREE.

AND MY SEAMSTRESS AT FOUR.

AND AFTER THAT, A BUNCH OF GIRLS

INVITED ME TO TALK ABOUT A BUNCH OF GIRLS

WHO WEREN'T INVITED OVER.

[SIGHS] BOY, WELL...

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY.

LISTEN, PRINCESS.

SOME INVESTORS FROM ATHENS ARE ARRIVING NEXT TUESDAY,

SO I'VE ARRANGED FOR A TUTOR TO TEACH YOU JUST A FEW

PHRASES IN GREEK.

SO FAR, I HATE IT.

WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU LIKE IT?

WELL, THAT STUPID RADIO STATION OF YOURS PLAYED SOMETHING

THAT OFFENDED ME AGAIN.

NOW, PRINCESS, THEY SWORE TO ME THEY DESTROYED EVERY VERSION

THEY HAD OF THE DA DOO RON RON...

UH... RON.

NOT THAT.

THE NEWS. MAKE THEM STOP.

BUT SWEETHEART, WE HAVE TO BROADCAST THE NEWS.

IT'S THE LAW.

WELL, CAN'T YOU DO IT ALL IN ONE CLUMP

WHEN I'M ASLEEP?

I DON'T THINK SO.

WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO LEARN MUCH GREEK IF I'M DEPRESSED

BY ROBBERIES AND KILLINGS AND SHOOTINGS.

I'LL CHECK IF THERE ARE ANY REGULATIONS ABOUT CLUMPING,

AND YOU'RE FIRST LESSON STARTS TOMORROW.

WHOA. KIND OF THE HOME VERSION OF LET'S MAKE A DEAL.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A STRAW?

OW! [SCOFFS]

STUPID! GET OUT OF HERE!

AND TAKE YOUR TORTURE TOOLS WITH YOU!

OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT!

STEPHANIE, LOOK WHAT I GOT YOU.

I WANTED THE JACKET.

BUT THREE QUARTER LENGTHS ARE ALL THE RAGE THIS YEAR.

I WANT THE JACKET! I WANT THE JACKET!

I WANT THE JACKET!

I'LL GET YOU BOTH.

STEPH? CAN WE TALK?

IF IT'S BRIEF.

I-I COULDN'T HELP NOTICING...

THIS PLACE HAS CHANGED US.

IT'S MADE ME HAPPY.

IT SEEMS TO BE MAKING YOU...

MORE ASSERTIVE.

SELF-CONFIDENT. CHILD-LIKE.

CHILDISH.

AND BASICALLY, UH...

MEAN.

BUT YOU WEAR IT WELL.

WELL, I GOT JOANNA A GIFT.

[WHISPERS] SHE'S UPSTAIRS, DICK.

DON'T WORRY, GEORGE. THIS TIME, I GOT HER

A PRESENT THAT SHE CAN'T SEE,

HEAR OR TOUCH.

I'M STUMPED.

WELL, I PHONED THIS ASTRONOMICAL SOCIETY.

AND I HAD A STAR NAMED AFTER HER.

UP SOMEWHERE BETWEEN POLARIS AND SIRIUS,

IS GONNA BE "JOANNA."

WOW! BUT YOU CAN SEE STARS.

NOT THIS BABY.

NOT WITHOUT A SERIOUSLY POWERFUL TELESCOPE.

BOY, SHE'LL LIKE THAT.

THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT, GEORGE. WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT

SHE WILL NEVER GUESS IT.

I WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT?

I BOUGHT YOU A BIRTHDAY PRESENT THAT YOU WILL NEVER GUESS.

NEVER. [SIGHS]

HONEY, I DON'T WANT TO GUESS.

OKAY. I'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE.

YOU CAN'T SEE IT, HEAR IT, OR TOUCH IT.

I HAVEN'T GOT THE FOGGIEST IDEA.

OH, SURE. I, FINALLY, COME UP WITH A PRESENT

THAT YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY GUESS,

AND YOU WON'T EVEN GIVE ME THE SIMPLE PLEASURE

OF GUESSING WRONG.

UH...

YOU GOT ME A BLOCK OF AIR.

WRONG. INCORRECT. WAY OFF. BEEP!

GOOD.

YOU HAD ONE OF THOSE STARS NAMED AFTER ME.

WHOA!

UH-OH.

OH, YEAH? JUST TRY TO GUESS

WHICH ONE!

AMALGAMATED LIMITED WENT UNDER.

SOMETHING YOU DID?

I THINK SO.

MUMMY!

YOUR MANICURIST WAS SUPPOSED TO MATCH THE POLISH

TO MY DRESS. AND LOOK AT THIS.

[SCOFFS] WELL, WE'LL JUST

BUY YOU A NEW DRESS.

I WANT TO WEAR THIS ONE.

OH! OH, DAMN!

STUPID COFFEE! ROSE!

DON'T WORRY. ALL YOU DO

WITH A COFFEE STAIN IS USE A LITTLE SALT

AND COLD WATER TO KEEP IT FROM SETTING.

WHAT?

I WAS SAYING THIS WILL COME RIGHT OUT WITH

- A LITTLE SALT AND COLD-- - I DON'T CARE HOW YOU DO IT!

JUST CLEAN THE NASTY MESS.

YES, MA'AM.

THE DRESS IS ALL RIGHT. I'LL GET YOU A NEW MANICURIST.

ROSE!

I'M SORRY I SNAPPED.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?

HOW COULD I TREAT HER LIKE THAT?

YOU'RE JUST BEING STEPHANIE.

I AM?

BUT I YELLED AT HER.

WELL, YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN HIGH STRUNG AND DEMANDING.

YOU HAVE THOSE HIGH VANDERKELLEN STANDARDS.

BUT I'M SUCH A SNOT.

OH, DARLING, NOBODY MINDS.

I DO.

I DON'T THINK I SHOULD STAY HERE ANYMORE.

- WHAT? - SWEETHEART, WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS ALREADY.

HAVEN'T YOU BEEN ENJOYING YOUR LITTLE LAMBORGHINI?

YES.

BUT...

I THINK I NEED TO GO BACK TO VERMONT.

PREFERABLY IN THE LAMBORGHINI.

UNTIL I DECIDE WHO IT IS I WANT TO BE.

WELL, THAT'S EASY. YOU WANT TO BE OUR STEPHANIE.

RICHER THAN ALL GET OUT.

NO, I DON'T.

I MEAN, WELL...

I WANT TO BE RICH BEYOND BELIEF,

THAT'S A GIVEN.

BUT...

I REALLY CAN'T STAND HOW I GET WHEN I'M IN THIS HOUSE.

WELL, GO TO THE HOUSE IN ARUBA.

NO, IT'S NOT THE HOUSE. IT'S US.

HOW CAN I FIX IT?

WHAT DOES MY LITTLE GIRL WANT?

SHE WANTS TO BE...

INDEPENDENT.

SHE WANTS TO GO BACK TO VERMONT.

SHE WANTS AN ANSWER ABOUT THE LAMBORGHINI.

LAMBORGHINI IS YOURS WHENEVER YOU'RE HERE.

FINE.

MAYBE I'LL VISIT IT SOMETIME.

[CLICKS INTERCOM] BRING THE LIMO AROUND, RIGHT AWAY.

[CLICKS] PLEASE.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

THERE WON'T BE TIME TO PACK. SEND OUR BAGS.

- STOP HER! - HE CAN'T!

NOT THIS TIME.

BOY, GRASS COURTS ARE THE WAY TO GO.

OH, GOD. PLEASE LET SOMEONE HAVE DIED.

MICHAEL...

- WE'RE LEAVING NOW. - WHY DON'T YOU JUST

PUNCH THIS RACKET THROUGH MY SPLEEN?

MICHAEL, YOU SAID YESTERDAY

YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE WAY I WAS ACTING.

I SAID YOU WERE ACTING MEAN. I DIDN'T SAY I DIDN'T LIKE IT.

- STEPHANIE! - GOOD-BYE, MUMMY.

THE DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN.

YOU MAY NOT THINK WE'RE THE BEST PARENTS,

BUT WE'RE BETTER THAN MINIMUM WAGE.

THINK ABOUT IT.

GOOD-BYE, DADDY.

DO YOU NEED ANYTHING?

JUST A HUG.

STAY IN TOUCH.

YOUR MOTHER WORRIES SO.

I'M GONNA MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH!

[STEPHANIE] MICHAEL!

I CAN'T HELP IT.

I LIKE THAT BOY.

MEOW.