Original subtitles

�� [THEME]

UH-OH.

HERE'S ANOTHER NEW WORD I CAN LOOK UP. "MELLIFLUOUS."

WHEN DID YOU START LOOKING UP WORDS, GEORGE?

REMEMBER LAST WEEK WHEN MY FRIEND DUTCH

HAD HIS APPENDIX OUT?

I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL, AND THEY SAID HE WAS IN THE SOLARIUM.

WELL, A COLD CHILL WENT UP MY SPINE.

I SAID, "OH LORD, DUTCH HAS LOST HIS MIND."

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THE SOLARIUM TURNED OUT TO BE?

A SUN-ROOM.

THAT'S RIGHT.

WELL, IF I'D KNOWN THAT DUTCH WAS JUST GETTING A TAN,

I-- I WOULDN'T'VE RUN SCREAMING DOWN THE HALL.

I LOOKED STRANGE, DICK.

THAT'S WHEN I DECIDED, FROM NOW ON, I'M GONNA LOOK UP

ALL THE WORDS I DON'T KNOW.

OOH, MY MARMALADE'S TOUCHING MY EGGS.

I HATE THAT. I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT.

DON'T YOU THINK STEPHANIE IS BEING

A LITTLE TOO FASTIDIOUS?

"HAVING HIGH STANDARDS."

I LOOKED THAT UP YESTERDAY, DICK.

YOU KEEP IT UP, YOU'RE GONNA BE A REGULAR THESAURUS.

BE RIGHT BACK.

DICK. OH, HI, JOANNA.

HI, MICHAEL.

DICK, I HAVE AN IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR YOU.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DESSERT?

STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE.

NO, PIE.

GEE, I REALLY THOUGHT I HAD THAT ONE.

- WHY-- WHY PIE? - BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I TOLD

THE PIE BAKE-OFF COMMITTEE, AND I MADE YOU HEAD JUDGE.

WELL, I DON'T WANT TO BE A JUDGE.

WHO DOES?

BUT THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO PUBLICIZE YOUR SHOW.

LOOK, MICHAEL, I--

THAT'S NOT THE IMAGE I WANT FOR THE SHOW.

IT'S NOT DIGNIFIED.

I MEAN, JUDGING PIES IS NOT SOMETHING THAT, SAY,

EDWARD R. MURROW WOULD'VE DONE.

I HAPPEN TO KNOW HE WOULD'VE, DICK.

NO, HE WOULDN'T.

YES, HE WOULD.

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

DICK, WE CAN GO ROUND AND ROUND WITH THIS ALL DAY.

THE POINT IS, DO MORE OF THESE PROMOTIONAL-TYPE EVENTS,

AND WE'LL BE ABLE TO ATTRACT THE BIG NAMES TO VERMONT TODAY.

NOT SLEEPING PILLS LIKE THAT WRITER WE'VE GOT SUNDAY.

GABRIELLA PUDNEY.

- WHO? - EXACTLY.

MICHAEL, CAN'T YOU GET ME OUT OF THIS CONTEST?

IT'D BE A LOT EASIER IF THEY'D ASKED FOR YOU

IN THE FIRST PLACE, DICK, BUT...

YOU SORT OF VOLUNTEERED.

WELL, ALL RIGHT. AS LONG AS I'M GETTING

WHAT I WANTED.

MICHAEL, I THOUGHT I HEARD YOUR VOICE.

- STEPHANIE, HOW ARE YOU? - I'M OKAY NOW BUT I HAD

- MARMALADE TOUCHING MY EGGS. - OH, I HATE THAT.

- I HATE IT. I HATE IT.

HARLEY? HARLEY ESTIN?

HELLO, JOANNA.

- HI, BEAVER BROTHER. - HELLO, HARLEY.

HAVEN'T SEEN YOU AT THE BEAVER LODGE.

YEAH, WELL, I DIDN'T WANT TO RUN THE RISK

OF OVER-BEAVERING.

HEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME.

I ALMOST DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU, HARLEY.

YOU LOOK REALLY HANDSOME IN THAT SUIT.

WOW, THEN I'VE BEEN HANDSOME FOR THREE DAYS NOW.

HOW'S THE-- HOW'S THE JOB HUNTING GOING?

PRETTY GOOD-- I GOT ONE.

CONGRATULATIONS. WHEN DO YOU START?

WELL, I'M SORTA DOING IT RIGHT NOW.

EXACTLY WHAT IS IT YOU'RE DOING, HARLEY?

OH, I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.

AND IT'S GOT YOUR NAME ON IT.

HONEY, ISN'T THAT CUTE? HE'S GOT A LITTLE SALES PITCH

AND EVERYTHING.

HERE IT IS.

THIS DOES HAVE MY NAME ON IT.

YEAH. IT'S A SUBPOENA.

WHAT?

- I'M BEING SUED. - FOR WHAT?

I'LL TELL YOU AS SOON AS I FIND OUT.

[HARLEY COUGHS]

WHAT IS IT, HARLEY?

WELL, I'M SUPPOSED TO SELL TICKETS TO THE BEAVER PICNIC.

AND, UH, I FIGURE, WELL, TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE,

YOU KNOW?

HARLEY.

GO HOME.

OKAY.

I-- I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. I'M BEING SUED FOR PLAGIARISM.

WHAT?

I FOUND OUT WHAT "THESAURUS" MEANS.

WHAT'S TRANSPIRING HERE, IF I'M NOT BEING

TOO MUCH OF A THESAURUS?

SOMEONE'S ACCUSING DICK OF PLAGIARISM.

BE RIGHT BACK.

THEY SAY I STOLE

HOW TO SEAL, GROUT, AND PLUMB YOUR WAY TO A DREAM BATHROOM.

WELL, THAT'S ABSURD.

DON'T GET EXCITED. THIS HAPPENS TO WRITERS ALL THE TIME.

PROBABLY JUST SOME POOR, PATHETIC, MISGUIDED--

THEY'RE SUING FOR HALF A MILLION DOLLARS.

BLOODSUCKING LEECH.

NELSON, I NEVER HEARD OF THIS GUY.

I NEVER READ HIS BOOK.

I MEAN, I THOUGHT OF THIS MYSELF.

I TYPED IT MYSELF. I'M INNOCENT.

DICK, THIS IS ALL VERY USEFUL.

A LAWYER LOVES TO SEE

THIS KIND OF CONVICTION IN THE CLIENT.

IF I WERE IN YOUR SHOES, FACING WHAT YOU'RE FACING,

I'D BE A QUIVERING MASS OF NERVES.

YOU-- YOU WOULD?

SEE, THAT'S WHAT I HATE ABOUT THIS.

YOU'RE A PERFECTLY NICE, INNOCENT MAN.

AND THIS FARMER, WHITLEY McVEIGH, COMES ALONG.

HE HASN'T WRITTEN ANYTHING IN HIS LIFE.

HE'S GOT NO CASE WHATSOEVER.

BUT BECAUSE HE'S FINISHED WITH HIS PLOWING,

HE SLAPS A LAWSUIT ON YOU. IT JUST GALLS ME, DICK.

I-- I LOVE YOUR CONVICTION.

THE MAN IS A NUISANCE. A NOBODY, A NOTHING.

A BLOODSUCKING LEECH, RIGHT.

DOESN'T DESERVE TO SHARE THE SAME PLANET WITH YOU.

AND THE ONLY WAY TO HANDLE A GUY LIKE THIS, DICK,

IS TO SETTLE.

DICK,

SETTLING IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO.

BUT-- BUT I'M INNOCENT.

NO. YOU'RE COMING AT THIS

WITH A LAYMAN'S POINT OF VIEW.

YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY CONFUSING INNOCENT...

WITH NOT GUILTY.

I-- I GUESS

THEY'RE LIGHT-YEARS APART.

WELCOME TO MY WORLD, DICK.

SEE. WHAT YOU HAVE HERE

IS A LARGE WINDOW

OF VULNERABILITY.

AND I-- I DON'T WANT THAT.

IF WE GO TO COURT ON THIS,

YOU STAND TO LOSE EVERYTHING YOU OWN,

AND EVERYTHING YOU LOVE.

IF WE SETTLE...

WE'LL MAKE THEM SORRY THEY EVER STARTED UP WITH US.

DICK, DICK,

I HATE IT, TOO.

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW

WHY I STAY IN THIS PROFESSION.

IT'S PROBABLY THE MONEY.

YEAH, BUT I-- I DON'T WANT TO SETTLE.

I-- I WANT TO FIGHT IT. I WANT TO BE VINDICATED.

AND-- AND I WANT TO SEND WHITLEY McVEIGH

TO THE GAS CHAMBER.

DICK. SIT DOWN, PLEASE.

NOW, WE HAVE TWO OPTIONS HERE.

THE FIRST OPTION IS, WE SETTLE.

NOW, I ONCE GOT A REQUEST FOR HALF A MILLION DOLLARS

KNOCKED DOWN TO $3500.

TURNS ALL THE GUY WANTED WAS A SPEEDBOAT.

COULD HAPPEN HERE.

THE OTHER OPTION,

THE ONE THAT YOU SPOKE SO ELOQUENTLY FOR,

WE GO TO COURT.

YOUR NAME IS DRAGGED THROUGH THE MUD.

WE COULD END UP PAYING THE HALF MILLION.

YOU'RE BRANDED FOR LIFE,

AND YOU NEVER GET PUBLISHED AGAIN.

HECK. I'M FLEXIBLE ON THIS.

WHICH ONE SOUNDS GOOD TO YOU?

WELL, HOW'S IT GOING?

OH, I DON'T KNOW. NELSON'S MAKING SOME--

--SOME PHONE CALLS.

WE'RE, UH, GOING TO SETTLE.

WHAT? DICK, YOU'RE INNOCENT.

I KNOW, BUT APPARENTLY I'M--

I'M NOT NOT GUILTY.

WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I THOUGHT THIS McVEIGH GUY

DOESN'T HAVE A CASE.

HE DOESN'T, BUT IT SEEMS I HAVE THIS

BIG, VULNERABLE WINDOW.

HONEY, TRUST ME, GOING TO COURT

IS THE LAST THING WE WANT TO DO.

DICK. THEY WON'T SETTLE.

WE GO TO COURT!

DICK?

DICK, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?

NO.

"DICK LOUDON SUED FOR PLAGIARISM."

WHEN DID THEY START USING RED INK?

ACTUALLY, HONEY, THE STORY ITSELF

IS PRETTY IMPARTIAL.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 6, SEE "THIEF."

WELL, THAT'S THE LAST TIME I TAKE MY LIPS

TO PETERSON'S DRUGS AND STUFF.

WHAT?

I WAS BUYING LIP LINER THIS MORNING,

AND THE PHARMACIST WAS TELLING EVERYBODY

THAT HE'S NOT SURPRISED YOU'RE A PLAGIARIST

BECAUSE HE ONCE SAW YOU POCKET A ROLL OF LIFESAVERS.

ERNIE SAID THAT?

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT GUY?

I MEAN, FOR TWO YEARS I'VE BEEN SHOPPING THERE.

WE EXCHANGE CHRISTMAS CARDS.

AND NEVER IN ALL THAT TIME HAVE I ONCE MENTIONED THE FACT

THAT HE HAS A NOSE YOU COULD OPEN CANS WITH.

I STOOD UP FOR YOU, DICK. I TOLD HIM YOU WERE INNOCENT,

AND HE WAS PETTY, AND HIS SELECTION OF LIP LINERS

WAS A MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT, AND I STORMED OUT.

SOUNDS YOU REALLY CHOPPED HIM OFF AT THE KNEES.

- HI THERE. - HI, MICHAEL.

STEPHANIE, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL THIS MORNING.

EXCEPT FOR MY LIPS.

OH YES. THEY'RE UNLINED.

DICK, REMEMBER THAT PIE-JUDGING CONTEST

YOU WERE SO DEAD-SET AGAINST.

PULLED SOME STRINGS. GOT YOU OUT OF IT.

OH, AND THAT WRITER YOU WERE IFFY ON, GABRIELLA PUDNEY?

86-ED.

MICHAEL.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

NOTHING. JUST TRYING TO KEEP YOU HAPPY, DICK.

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT I WANTED TO JUDGE THE PIE CONTEST,

AND I DEMAND TO INTERVIEW GABRIELLA PUDNEY.

WELL...

YOU COULDN'T GET THE PIE CONTEST NOW IF YOU BEGGED.

AND GABRIELLA CANCELED.

SHE SAID SHE WAS AFRAID YOU MIGHT LOOT AND PILLAGE

HER LIFE'S WORK.

ARTICULATE GAL. WOULD'VE MADE A FINE GUEST.

WHO IS DOING THE SHOW?

ACTUALLY, DICK. NOT YOU.

- WHAT? - YOU MEAN DICK IS FIRED?

HE'S NOT EXACTLY FIRED, JOANNA. MORE LIKE "ON LEAVE."

IN THE ARMY, PEOPLE CLAMOR FOR THAT.

YEAH, BUT WHY IS DICK OFF THE SHOW?

WELL, SOME OF THE GUYS AT THE STATION--

NOT ME--

FEEL THAT A TELEVISION HOST HAS TO BE WELCOME

IN THEIR LIVING ROOMS. AND DICK WON'T BE

IF THEY'RE AFRAID HE MIGHT STEAL AN ASHTRAY.

DICK HAS NEVER STOLEN ANYTHING IN HIS LIFE.

THIS WHOLE THING REALLY STINKS.

JOANNA, PLEASE. MICHAEL, THIS WHOLE THING...

STINKS.

MICHAEL, I AM SEEING A SIDE OF YOU THAT,

UP UNTIL NOW, I'VE MANAGED TO IGNORE.

BUT IF THE MAN I LOVE CAN'T SUPPORT MY GOOD FRIENDS,

THEN I'M JUST...

UPSET.

STEPHANIE.

I NEED SOME TIME TO THINK.

DON'T CALL ME. DON'T TRY TO SEE ME.

AND IF YOU THINK YOU CAN GET TO ME BY SENDING ME GIFTS,

I GUESS I CAN'T STOP YOU.

GOOD TURNOUT.

OH, HERE COMES THE OPPOSITION NOW.

THAT'S WHITLEY McVEIGH.

MM-HMM.

I'D LIKE TO GIVE HIM A PIECE OF MY MIND.

NO. BAD FORM, DICK.

LOOK, THE REASON YOU HIRED ME

IS BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR WAY AROUND A COURTROOM.

I DO.

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO ANYTHING HERE WITHOUT MY SAY-SO.

I AM YOUR ONLY FRIEND. YOU GOT THAT?

GOT IT.

HEY, ARLEEN!

THANKS FOR THE OPERA TICKETS. THEY WERE JUST GREAT SEATS!

GLAD YOU COULD USE 'EM.

YOU-- YOU WANT TO ASK THEM

TO SIT WITH US?

[HIGH-PITCHED] HI, MY NAME IS CORKY.

HI, CORKY.

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, AND I'D LIKE TO GO HOME WITH YOU,

AND I'D LIKE TO BRING MY FRIEND MICHAEL,

BECAUSE HE'S A SWELL GUY.

WOULD YOU PLEASE READ THE LETTER THAT WAS SENT TO YOU

BY MR. LOUDON'S PUBLISHER?

"DEAR MR. McVEIGH--"

"DEAR." HAH!

"THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING 'BATHROOM REPAIR'

"FOR OUR CONSIDERATION.

"UNFORTUNATELY, IT DOES NOT--

IT DOES NOT MEET OUR NEEDS AT THE PRESENT TIME."

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS.

IT'S JUST ANOTHER FANCY-PANTS WAY OF SAYING

"TOUGH DARTS, FARMER."

MR. McVEIGH, TELL US.

WHEN DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT

MR. LOUDON'S DREAM BATHROOM BOOK?

IT WAS ABOUT THREE MONTHS AGO.

I WENT INTO THE HARDWARE STORE,

AND I SAW THIS BOOK

WITH A FUNNY-LOOKING GUY ON THE BACK COVER.

IT WAS HIM!

OBJECTION TO THE CHARACTERIZATION

OF MY CLIENT AS FUNNY-LOOKING!

SUSTAINED.

AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, I BOUGHT THE BOOK.

IT WAS THE SAME TOPIC AS MINE.

HAD THE SAME NUMBER OF CHAPTERS.

SAME PUBLISHER. SAME EVERYTHING.

WELL, ABOUT A WEEK LATER, IT HIT ME.

HE STOLE MY BOOK!

OBJECTION.

SUSTAINED.

YOUR WITNESS.

THANK YOU.

MR. McVEIGH.

DON'T YOU THINK THAT A HALF MILLION DOLLARS

IS AN EXORBITANT AMOUNT OF MONEY?

EXORBITANT?

EXCESSIVE. BEYOND REASON.

MR. UTLEY, LET ME ASK YOU.

WHY DOES MR. LOUDON REQUIRE THE SERVICES OF A HANDYMAN?

UH, TO DO STUFF AROUND THE INN.

BUT MR. LOUDON IS A HOW-TO EXPERT, ISN'T HE?

WHY DOESN'T HE DO STUFF AROUND THE INN HIMSELF?

WELL, I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.

I GUESS MAYBE IT'S 'CAUSE

DICK ISN'T REAL HANDY.

OH, HE ISN'T?

NO, HE DOES KEEP SAYING,

"THOSE WHO CAN DO,

"AND THOSE WHO CAN'T WRITE BOOKS

"TELLING PEOPLE WHO DO

HOW TO DO THE THINGS THEY DO DO."

I BELIEVE THAT EXPRESSION IS BORROWED FROM

GEORGE BERNARD SHAW'S

"HE WHO CAN DOES, HE WHO CANNOT TEACHES."

NOW, WAIT, I THINK THAT SHAW GUY

MUST'VE GOT THAT FROM DICK,

'CAUSE THAT HAS DICK LOUDON WRITTEN ALL OVER IT.

THANK YOU, MR. UTLEY.

MR. LOUDON, I'D LIKE TO READ A LITTLE TO YOU,

IF THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

SURE.

DO YOU HAVE TREASURE ISLAND?

NO, BUT YOU SHOULD STILL FIND IT INTERESTING

IF I'M READING FROM YOUR BOOK.

"TO CHANGE THE FAUCET HANDLE,

SIMPLY REMOVE BOTH SCREWS."

DO YOU REMEMBER WRITING THAT?

WELL, IT'S NOT MY BEST STUFF, BUT UH--

HOW ABOUT,

"YOU SHOULD CHOOSE THE SHOWERHEAD

THAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU."

GUILTY.

AND I HAVE ONE MORE.

"CLEAN THE TILE CAREFULLY WITH A DAMP CLOTH."

SURE SOUNDS LIKE ME AGAIN.

YOUR HONOR, LET THE RECORD SHOW

THAT THE PASSAGES THAT I HAVE JUST READ ALOUD,

WHICH MR. LOUDON IDENTIFIED AS HIS OWN,

ARE FROM PAGES...

6, 14, AND 29

OF BATHROOM REPAIR,

WRITTEN BY MR. WHITLEY McVEIGH.

OH NO!

NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.

REDIRECT, YOUR HONOR?

DICK, I'M, UH... TAKING A NEW TACK.

STAY WITH ME ON THIS.

MR. LOUDON.

IF YOU WANTED TO REMOVE

THE FAUCET HANDLES IN THE BATHROOM,

WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU WOULD DO?

UH, REMOVE THE TWO SCREWS.

AH. AH.

AND IF YOU WANTED TO ADVISE SOMEONE

ON BUYING A NEW SHOWERHEAD,

WOULD YOU RECOMMEND THAT HE PICK ONE OUT THAT WAS,

SAY, WRONG FOR HIM?

NOT GENERALLY.

MOST PEOPLE ARE HAPPIER WITH, SAY,

ONE THAT'S RIGHT FOR THEM.

AND WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO CLEAN TILE?

SEND IT OUT TO THE DRY CLEANERS?

OR YOU COULD RUN IT THROUGH A CAR WASH.

ACTUALLY, THE BEST WAY IS TO WIPE IT WITH A WET CLOTH.

SO WHEN YOU AND MR. McVEIGH WERE WRITING THESE THINGS,

YOU WERE SIMPLY REPORTING THE FACTS.

WITH A CAPITAL "F."

WHAT YOU'RE REALLY SAYING IS...

ANYONE COULD'VE WRITTEN THAT BOOK.

WHAT--

YOUR HONOR, I ASK YOU.

HOW CAN MR. LOUDON HAVE STOLEN MATERIAL

WHICH HE HIMSELF ADMITS

COULD'VE BEEN WRITTEN BY ANY FOOL?

NELSON-- NELSON?

BY A CHILD OF SIX. BY A MONKEY WITH A TYPEWRITER.

BY A CHILD WITH A MONKEY WITH A TYPEWRITER.

BY MR. WHITLEY McVEIGH.

BY MR. DICK LOUDON.

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

UH-- OBJECTION.

YOU'RE OBJECTING TO YOUR OWN ATTORNEY.

WELL, THEY CERTAINLY AREN'T GOING TO OBJECT.

UH, YOUR HONOR, MAY I SPEAK?

YOU MAY.

OF COURSE, HOW-TO BOOKS

ON THE SAME SUBJECT

HAVE SIMILAR PASSAGES,

BUT I MEAN, HOW MANY DIFFERENT WAYS ARE THERE TO SAY,

"REMOVE THE TWO SCREWS?"

REMOVE ONE SCREW,

THEN THE OTHER?

REMOVE BOTH SCREWS.

SEE THOSE SCREWS? TAKE 'EM OUT.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? I'LL TELL YOU

WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS.

UH, MAY I PLEASE HAVE

EXHIBIT "A" AND "B," PLEASE?

UH, I WOULD LIKE TO READ FROM

BATHROOM REPAIR BY WHITLEY McVEIGH.

THIS IS THE FIRST CHAPTER OF HIS BOOK.

"ANYONE WHO HAS A BATHROOM

"KNOWS THAT IT NEEDS FIXING.

"THIS BOOK WILL HELP YOU FIX IT.

BUT YOU'LL NEED TOOLS, TOO."

COMPETENT, I GRANT YOU.

NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO READ THE FIRST PARAGRAPH IN MY BOOK.

"IMAGINE COLORS.

"SMOOTH AND RESTFUL.

"AN OASIS OF SHIMMERING WATER.

"DEEP AND COOL.

"PLANTS OF LUSCIOUS GREEN

"WITH BURSTING FLOWERS.

"THE MIRROR'S BOUNCING IMAGES

"WITH MAGICIAN'S QUICKNESS

"BEFORE YOUR EYES.

"THESE WORDS ONLY BEGIN TO SUGGEST

WHAT COULD BE YOUR DREAM BATHROOM."

THESE WORDS...

ARE MY WORDS.

THAT'S LOVELY.

THANK YOU, MR. LOUDON.

I THINK WE CAN DISPENSE

WITH THE CLOSING ARGUMENTS.

I AM PREPARED TO RULE.

IN MY OPINION,

MR. LOUDON'S WRITING IS UNIQUE.

CLOYING...

BUT UNIQUE.

THAT NONE OF HIS BOOK WAS DERIVED

FROM MR. McVEIGH'S MANUSCRIPT.

I FIND FOR THE DEFENDANT.

COURT ADJOURNED.

WELL, DICK. WE SURE SHOWED THEM.

ARLEEN. YOU BUSY FOR DINNER?

NO.

OH, HONEY. OH.

I ALWAYS KNEW YOU'D WIN.

CONGRATULATIONS.

YEAH, THEY DECLARED THE BOOK MINE AND BAD.

WELL, I JUST HOPE THAT SHAW GUY DOESN'T HEAR ABOUT THIS.

WE COULD BE BACK HERE IN A WEEK.

DICK, I'M AWFULLY GLAD THINGS TURNED OUT THIS WAY.

I-- I ALWAYS KNEW THEY WOULD.

IN VIEW OF THIS VERDICT, I'M OFFICIALLY AUTHORIZED

TO INVITE YOU BACK INTO THE VERMONT TODAY FAMILY.

I HOPE WE CAN LET BYGONES BE BYGONES.

WELL, MICHAEL, I DON'T KNOW.

YOU BEHAVED RATHER BADLY, AND I REALLY--

COME ON, DICK.

OH-- ALL RIGHT, I FORGIVE YOU.

WELL, SHOULD WE GO HOME?

NO, I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA.

LET'S GO DOWN TO THE HARDWARE STORE

AND SEE IF THEY GOT ANY OF YOUR BOOKS.

I STILL SAY YOU STOLE MY BOOK.

TOUGH DARTS, FARMER.

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