Original subtitles

- Well, here's my new book.

- Oh great. What did you decide to call it?

- Roaming Through Wyoming.

Here, read this. Read this.

- Roaming Through Wyoming by Dick Loudon.

Dedicated to my wife, Joanna, without whose love

and support this book could never have been written.

Oh, honey, that's sweet.

- Oh, I thought you'd get a kick out of it.

- I do every time you do it.

- Excuse me. I've got a delivery for a Kirk Devane.

- Oh, you want the Minute Man Caf�.

- I know that, but there's a sign on the door

that says "Gone to lunch."

- You can leave it here if you want.

- There's a $35 delivery charge.

- Or you can come back another time.

- Now, wait a minute, Dick. We can give him the $35.

Why don't you bring it in? - Great. Thanks.

- You don't mind, do you?

- Do what you want. It's our money.

- Well, honey, this could be something

really important that Kirk needs.

- Well, it certainly looks like something Kirk needs.

- What is this? - It's a chicken.

- I see that.

- "Hey kids, I'm Incredible Chicken.

Insert a coin and I will lay an egg

with a present inside for you."

- Thanks. - Thanks. Have a good day.

- We will now.

- Well, what do you think?

- Have you been in there the whole time?

- Look I'm sorry.

I saw the truck and I was caught in one of

those embarrassing situations where I didn't have any cash.

- So you thought let the suckers next door pay for it.

- Hey, you are my best friends and you are wonderful people.

Don't talk about yourselves that way.

- Kirk, I don't understand.

With all of the things you need for the caf�,

why did you buy this?

- To help pay for all those things.

Kids will love this.

- Come on, Dick. Let me show you how it works.

Have you got a quarter?

All right. Now watch.

[ chicken clucking ]

- Take it. It's yours.

What is it? - A giraffe.

- Isn't that great?

- A chicken that lays a giraffe?

- Come on, give Joanna a quarter.

Let her try. - She doesn't want to try.

- Oh please, honey. It's just a quarter.

[ chicken clucking ]

- A frog.

- I'm telling you, every kid that comes into that caf�

is going to drive his parents crazy

until they give them a quarter.

- This thing is going to be a goldmine.

- Come on, Dick. Help me move it over there.

- You're not moving this chicken until I get my $35.

- I'll give it to you Saturday.

- Then Saturday you get your chicken.

- Okay. Then fine, keep Incredible Chicken.

You should be the one to keep Incredible Chicken.

You know why?

Because you're cheep, cheep, cheep.

- Hi, Kirk. What's new?

- Nothing, just the same old story.

- Hi.

- Hi, Joanna. Hi, Dick.

- Doc and I just came from a planning meeting

for Maple Syrup Days.

- How's-- How's everything going?

- Pretty good, but we got something

kind of important to ask you.

- What's that? - Uh, what's this?

- Oh nothing.

It's something stupid that Kirk bought.

- What do you do with it?

- You put a quarter in it and it lays an egg.

- Well, I'll be darned.

- What was it that you wanted to ask me?

- Well, at the end of the day we crown the Maple Syrup

king and queen and we always have some

prominent local citizen act as master of ceremonies.

[ chicken clucking ]

- Look, I got a frog. - Let me see.

- Look at that.

- I know. I got one too.

- You--you were saying something about a prominent local citizen.

- Oh, right. We'd like to know if you'd be our MC.

- When is it? - Saturday night.

- Sure, I'd be glad to. - Well, great.

Uh, can I keep this? - Yeah.

- Oh, one more thing.

Would it be all right if a few of

the out of town contestants stayed here with you guys?

- Sure, I don't see why not. - Oh, terrific.

And one more thing, Joanna.

Would you serve as chaperone for the girls?

We need somebody to make sure everything runs

smoothly at the contest.

- I'll be happy to. - I'm going to be there to.

- Yeah, George has a very big job.

- I'm the facility chairman.

- What does the facility chairman do?

- Cleans up the facility.

- If George is going to be there too, we better make sure

that Stephanie can look after the inn.

Stephanie? - Yes.

- Were you planning on going to Maple Syrup Days Saturday?

- What? - The Maple Syrup Days.

- Is that one of those big community things

where the whole town gets together

and celebrates something?

- Yeah. - Nah.

- Great. Then everything's settled.

- Okay. There it is.

Just put your quarter in.

[ chicken clucking ]

- Get used to it, Dick, because it's going

to happen about a hundred times a day.

- Okay. Would everybody please finish signing in?

[ girls chattering ]

- Honey, the girls are here. Come on out and meet them.

[ chicken clucking ]

[ laughing ]

- What is it? - A frog.

[ girls laughing ]

- Everybody, this is my husband

and your master of ceremonies for tonight, Dick.

- Hi, girls.

- [ all speaking ] Hi.

- Aren't they cute? - Yeah.

- Dick and I just want to say that we're glad

you're here and we want to wish you all luck tonight.

- And if there's anything you need just--just ask for it.

- Can I have change for a dollar?

- Why don't we, uh, we get you settled in your rooms first

and then--then we'll all play with Incredible Chicken.

- Okay, everybody, want to follow me?

- Hi. What's this?

- Oh hi, Stephanie.

These are some of the contestants

for Maple Syrup queen.

They're going to be staying with us tonight.

This is our maid, Stephanie.

- [ all speaking ] Hi.

- You're a maid? That's great.

Someone to press our dresses.

- You guys never told me about this.

- You mean that they were staying here?

- You never told me about any of it.

What's the Maple Syrup queen?

- The Maple Syrup queen is the queen of the Maple Syrup Days.

- It's a contest?

- Yeah. There's prizes and everything.

- What kind of prizes?

- Well, usually it's gift certificates

for clothing or something to wear.

- Although, the queen's prize is even bigger like--like--

like jewelry or something.

- How come I'm not in this?

- Well, Stephanie, I think you have to be nominated, don't you?

- No. You just have to sign up.

- Well, even so there's probably a talent competition

or something. - No there isn't.

They just ask you some questions

and then they pick a winner.

- Stephanie, don't look at me like that.

I didn't know.

Besides I think this contest is for, you know, younger girls.

- Why don't you just run over me with your car, Joanna?

- I didn't mean you aren't young.

I just meant you're not as young as these girls.

- Well, neither are you.

- I know and I'm not in the contest.

- Well, I want to be in the contest.

- Well, you can't be in the contest.

- Why not?

- Because you promised to work tonight.

- But I want to win stuff. - Come on, Stephanie.

Now you can't be in the contest and that's that.

You're an adult.

You have a job and the responsibility

that goes with that job.

- Well, poop.

- Honey, I think Stephanie appreciates what you're saying.

Um, why don't you show the girls up to their rooms?

- Okay, everybody, will you follow me?

- I'm sorry, Stephanie.

- You know, sometimes I think the whole world is against me.

- You're right, Stephanie.

You know, every Thursday myself

and four and a half billion other people

get together and try to figure out how to make life

miserable for you.

- Well, tell them for me they're doing a great job.

- There it is.

[ chicken clucking ]

- Okay, is everybody ready?

- But we want you in the picture, Mrs. Loudon.

- But then who's going to take it?

- How about the maid?

- Stephanie, do you mind?

Thanks.

- Okay. All set?

- Stephanie, you tell us when to say cheese.

- Okay, say it. - Cheese!

- Great.

- Wait. Wait a minute. You snapped it too soon.

- Let her take another one.

- All right.

Girls, we--we really don't have time.

- Yeah.

Besides, there will be a photographer at the contest.

- Boy, I sure am glad I'm not one of the judges.

I'd have to give everybody first prize.

Four of the girls can go with us and two can go with George.

- Listen, Stephanie.

We'll be at the Fellowship Hall if you need us.

- Fine. - And try to cheer up.

- I already tried.

- Goodbye, Stephanie.

- Goodbye.

- We're sorry you're not going with us.

By the way, that's a really cute robe.

- Thanks. - Wish us luck.

- Give me a break, huh.

- Who won?

- Stephanie, I--I just wanted to say that, uh,

I'm sorry you have to stay here tonight.

- I know.

- But, I mean, try to keep it in perspective.

- It's just a beauty contest.

It isn't going to make a difference in anybody's life.

- I guess you're right.

- I am feeling sorry for myself, but I'll get over it.

- Good. All right. We'll see you tomorrow.

- I'm not feeling sorry for myself

and I'll never get over it.

- Excuse me. Are you open?

- Oh, yeah. - Do you have any vacancies?

- Sure.

- Is anything the matter?

- I'm kind of depressed. - Why?

- It's just that there's a dance in town tonight

that I wanted to go to and they're going

to pick a queen and I wanted to be that too.

And instead I have to stay here and look after this place.

- Oh.

- Gee, it seems a shame a pretty young girl

like you has to miss out on all that fun.

What if I watched the inn for you?

- You'd do that?

- Well, I'd be happy to.

- But I don't even know you.

Oh, I'm not sure that's a good idea.

- Well, I wouldn't want to get you into any trouble.

- Of course, if I wore a disguise and got back

before anybody got home...

- Well, it's up to you. - You talked me into it.

- I did? - This is like a miracle.

I can't believe I'm really going

to the festival and it's all thanks to you.

By the way, who are you? - Ella Hayes.

- Thanks a million.

I feel like I'm Cinderella and you're my fairy godmother.

- Just a minute. You dropped your slipper.

- Oh, thanks.

[ applause ]

- Thank you, Cathy.

Judges, that was Cathy Sue McGregor.

And now we're ready for our tenth and final contestant.

- Dick. Honey.

Number ten broke a strap. Can you just talk for a minute?

- Sure.

Well, it seems there will be a couple minutes

before we get to our-- our final contestant.

But it gives us a chance to-- a chance to talk.

Isn't this really a wonderful festival?

Honey--honey, how are we doing back there?

- Keep talking.

- Okay.

Well, it seems we have a minute or two more.

Um, well why don't I-- why don't I tell--

I tell a joke.

Uh, as some of you may know I'm--I'm an innkeeper

so I suppose this would be sort of a--sort of an inn joke.

[ chuckles ]

Anyway, there's-- there's this guy, uh,

staying in this--in this inn and he--he calls down

for room service and he says could...

Could you please send me up some,

uh, runny scrambled eggs, uh, cold toast--no, wait.

I'm sorry.

Um, burnt--burnt toast and cold coffee.

Maybe I better start-- start this one again.

Uh, this guy is staying in this--

in this inn and he calls down...

And he says, uh, called down to room service

and he says could--could you send me up some, uh,

runny scrambled eggs, burnt--burnt toast

and, uh, and cold coffee.

And--and the innkeeper says I'm--I'm sorry,

we can't do that.

And the--and--and the guest says, uh, why--why not?

You--you did yesterday.

Honey, how--how are we doing over there?

- One more minute.

- I don't think I have one more minute left in me.

- Why don't you tell that innkeeper joke?

- I don't know, it's kind of a stupid joke.

- Do something. We'll be ready in just a second.

- Hasn't this been a wonderful festival?

- While we still have some time, let's...

- How's it going?

- Fine. That Dick's quick on his feet, isn't he?

- Oh yeah.

- Personally, I've never--I've never been to Maple Syrup, uh,

Days before, but I mean I can't imagine any--

anything better than this one.

- Honey, we're ready. - So soon.

Ladies and gentlemen, our tenth and final contestant.

- Good evening. - Hello.

- Your name is? - Corey Bishop.

- And how old are you, Corey? - Seventeen.

- And where do you live? - At home.

- I realize that, but where is home?

- 405 Forest Oak Street, East Poultney, Vermont, 05741.

- And I--I understand you're a senior in high school?

- Yes, sir.

- And what are your plans after graduation?

- A bunch of my friends and me are going

to go to the beach for a week.

- Sound like you got a--

- Excuse me.

How does one get into the contest?

- What?

- I meant to be here earlier, but my house burned down.

- Well, I suppose we could squeeze you in,

but I'll have you know I'm bending the rules.

- Oh, thank you.

I've always depended on the kindness of strangers.

- Well, here, put this on and go backstage

and I'll tell the MC there's another contestant.

- And if I win this contest, I will do my best to represent

the state of Vermont and Maple Syrup

to the best of my ability.

[ music playing ]

- Judges, that was Corey Bishop, our final contestant so...

- Psst.

- Par--par--pardon me just--just a second.

What is it? - There's another girl.

- What? - A last minute contestant.

- Okay.

- By the way, I meant to tell you earlier

you left the lights on in your car.

- Go turn them off, will you?

- I tried. It's locked.

- That's all right. They're out now.

- Uh, it's just been brought to my attention

that we have, uh, another contestant.

Is the girl back there? Ah, here she is.

[ music playing ]

[ applause ]

- You just--you just made it. And your name is?

- Inez Velasco.

- Inez Velasco.

- Yes, sir.

- Par--pardon--pardon us for just a second.

- Stephanie? - How did you know?

- Because I'm not a moron. That's how I knew.

What are you doing here? - I couldn't help it.

I just had to be in the contest.

- You're supposed to be watching the inn.

- Look, if you want to yell at me

when we get home I'll understand.

But for now please, just go along with this.

- I'm going to go along with it

because I don't want to ruin the contest.

But we are going to talk when we get home.

- Fine. I promise I'll cry and everything.

- Well we're, uh, we're--we're back.

Uh, we were talking to Inez Velasco.

- Inez, where are you from?

- Dixie.

- Inez, why don't you just tell the judges

and the audience why you'd like to be Maple Syrup Queen.

- I would like to be Maple Syrup Queen

because I have always been an admirer of maple syrup,

and I would be most proud to represent your fine product

in the great state of Vermont.

And having come from poverty,

I would like to have some nice clothes.

- Well, that certainly is a nice dress you're wearing now.

- Thank you. I made this from curtains.

- Thank you, Inez.

Well, I--I--I think it's time for the judges

to make their decision.

And I--I see now the judges have reached their decision.

- Here you go, Dick. - Thank you.

Okay. Our second runner-up and winner of

the $50 gift certificate from Bridgette's Fashion Shop,

Cathy Sue McGregor. Cathy.

[ music playing ]

- The first runner-up and the winner of

the $100 gift certificate from Bridgette's Fashion Shop,

Corey Bishop.

[ music playing ]

- And now that brings us now to our grand prize winner,

this years' Maple Syrup queen.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you-- oh no.

- I won.

- Yes, Inez is right. She won.

- [ music playing ]

- I won. I won.

- Congratulations, Inez.

- Thank you, Mr. Loudon.

- And now could we have the Maple Syrup king

come out and crown our queen.

- Dick, this is Ricky Bowman from Winooski, Vermont.

He's a junior in high school

and says he hopes to become a senior.

- Okay. Um, Ricky, would you do the honors?

- I crown you Maple Syrup Queen.

[ music playing ]

- There you are, ladies and gentlemen,

our Maple Syrup king and queen,

Ricky and Inez.

And now, Inez, I would like to present you

with your grand prize.

The Maple Syrup Advisory Board has really outdone themselves

this year because this year, Queen Inez,

you are the recipient of a $1000...

- Oh my gosh.

- ...college scholarship

to be used at the college of your choice.

- Not at Bridgette's?

- No, this is for books, not for blouses.

- Uh, thank you very much.

Thank you, judges. Thank you, Dick.

Thank you, everybody.

Who wants to trade?

- Stephanie, stop crying.

- I can't help it. I still feel badly.

- Well, everybody is proud of you at least

for giving back the scholarship.

- But everybody's still mad at me.

I'll bet even Ella is mad at me.

- Ella? Ella?

- Well, what--what happened?

- I'll tell you what happened.

- Somebody took my chicken.