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1
00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:10,668
- Stephanie?
If you're not busy,
2
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,571
could you come in here
for a minute?
3
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:15,407
- Well, I was busy,
but that's okay.
4
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,641
What do you want?
5
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:17,909
- I have something
for you.
6
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:19,944
- What?
- Your first paycheck.
7
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,847
- [ gasps ]
Oh, boy. Fantastic.
8
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,015
- Oh, your nails
are still wet.
9
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,016
Do you want me
to open it for you?
10
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,184
- No, no. That's okay.
11
00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:32,557
$437.
12
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:36,394
Well.
Guess it'll be good for me
13
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,263
to try to get by on this
every week.
14
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,865
- Stephanie,
that's not a weekly check.
15
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,601
That's a monthly check.
16
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,438
- $437 a month?
17
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,273
- Well, that's after taxes.
18
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,609
And, of course,
we pay for your room
19
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:51,709
and all your meals,
20
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,446
so that $437
is just free and clear
21
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:55,547
to do anything you want.
22
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,649
- Yeah.
23
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:01,319
I'm just trying to think
what that could be.
24
00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,023
- Joanna?
- Yes, George.
25
00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:07,559
- Did you order something
from a sporting goods store?
26
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,461
- Oh, great. Is it here?
- Yeah.
27
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,530
- What did you order?
- A surprise for Dick.
28
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,899
- [ gasps ]
Oh, neat.
29
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,535
- Here. I'll take this.
30
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,803
- All right, just put it down
over there, will you?
31
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,306
And let me give you
something for your trouble.
32
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:24,042
- Oh, that won't be necessary.
33
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,213
- George, I meant
this gentleman.
34
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,681
- Did you want me
to get Dick?
35
00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:31,349
- Would you?
Oh, I hope he likes it.
36
00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:32,484
- Yeah. Me, too.
37
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,588
- Dick? Could you come
out here for a minute?
38
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,056
- Here, let's stand
in front of it
39
00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:40,358
so he won't see it
when he first comes out.
40
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,064
- Surprise!
41
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,133
- Oh, wow.
42
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:52,904
- Do you know what it is?
43
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,873
- Most of a bike.
44
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,010
- It's an exercise bike.
45
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,345
I saw it in the store,
46
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,414
and I thought it would be
perfect for your study.
47
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,549
You can use it when you
take a break from writing.
48
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,285
You don't like it, do you?
49
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,853
- No, no. Sure I do.
50
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,622
It'll be perfect
in the study.
51
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,691
Even if I'm not
exercising on it,
52
00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:15,460
I'll still get
a lot of exercise...
53
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,161
trying to walk around it.
54
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,865
- Hey, whose exercise bike?
55
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,100
- Uh, mine.
56
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,870
- Boy, Marjorie and I
had one of these.
57
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,340
We were going to tone up
and firm up.
58
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,508
And then, of course,
we broke up.
59
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,379
- Get on it. See how it works.
60
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,881
- Yeah, honey. Come on.
- Okay.
61
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,622
Boy, oh, boy, that, uh...
62
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,795
it really gets the old
blood flowing, doesn't it?
63
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:53,231
- I-- I don't understand.
64
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:55,600
Why didn't you just
get a whole bike?
65
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,201
- Well, you can only
ride a bike
66
00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:58,836
when the weather's nice.
67
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,639
You can ride this
24 hours a day,
68
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,907
365 days a year.
69
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:04,442
- Isn't that great?
70
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:11,115
- Ohh. What a great
exercise bike.
71
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,584
Yours?
- Yeah.
72
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,586
- You'll never use it.
- He will, too.
73
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:15,587
- You bought it, right?
74
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,589
- Ohh! What do you
want, Kirk?
75
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:18,790
- Okay, listen up,
everybody.
76
00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:20,458
I have an announcement
to make.
77
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,394
I'm starting
a singles club.
78
00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,396
- Really?
- Yeah, right here at the inn.
79
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:25,563
- What are you talking about?
80
00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:26,831
You're not having
a singles club here.
81
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,300
- Why not?
82
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:29,967
You let the Rotary Club
meet here
83
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:31,503
and the Junior
Chamber of Commerce.
84
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:33,137
- That is true, honey.
85
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,639
- Well, I mean, they're
hardly the same thing.
86
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:35,907
I mean, I know him.
87
00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:38,643
When he says a singles club,
he means mud wrestling.
88
00:04:40,246 --> 00:04:42,314
- I think a singles club
is a great idea.
89
00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:43,815
It could help all of us.
90
00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:46,751
- Not me.
- Oh. Maybe not you,
91
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:47,985
but what about
the rest of us?
92
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:49,253
I'm single,
George is single,
93
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:52,156
Stephanie is single,
Ed's marriage is guano.
94
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,226
- I'd like to meet
some new people.
95
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,828
- You know, it's really
not a bad thought.
96
00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:59,263
- Yeah.
- Kirk, why is it
97
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,565
whenever you come up
with an idea,
98
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,201
you always come over here
and dump it on me?
99
00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:06,103
- Because you're
my best friend.
100
00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:08,306
- I don't want to be
your best friend.
101
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,342
- Why are you always
so reluctant to help me?
102
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:13,411
- You know, speaking
from personal experience,
103
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,647
it is hard to meet
people in this town.
104
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:18,316
- Yeah. A group like Kirk
is talking about
105
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:20,518
would sure make it easier.
- Yeah.
106
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,821
- Well, I guess if you feel
that strongly about it,
107
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,456
we can--
we can try it once.
108
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:25,690
- Great!
109
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,727
- See? It's not so hard
to give, is it, Dick?
110
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,529
Okay, we'll have
our first meeting
111
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,331
Friday night, 7:00,
in the dining room.
112
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,368
- Oh. Friday night? I can't.
I have a date.
113
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,269
- I thought you were having
trouble getting dates.
114
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,204
- Not in the evenings.
115
00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:51,315
- Where's Kirk?
116
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:52,584
- Isn't he in
with the group?
117
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,051
- No, and the meeting
was supposed to start
118
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,754
20 minutes ago.
- What are they doing?
119
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,021
- Nothing. They're
just standing around
120
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,591
like a bunch of penguins
staring at each other.
121
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:00,759
I'm going to call him.
122
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:03,828
- Hi, guys.
123
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:07,532
- Where have you been?
124
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,734
- This is the first meeting
of my singles club.
125
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,068
Hey, I'm the host.
126
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:14,138
This is potentially
a very important night for me.
127
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,441
I was gargling.
128
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,142
- Those people have been
in there for half an hour.
129
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,644
- Why are you so mad at me?
130
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,912
- Because this evening
is turning out
131
00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:22,380
exactly the way
I knew it would.
132
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:23,915
You said it was
going to be dignified.
133
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:25,316
You show up late,
134
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,252
and then you have somebody
paint that stupid sign.
135
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,721
- I didn't have anyone
make that sign.
136
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,823
I took it out
of the window of my car.
137
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,929
- Oh. Hi. I just came out
138
00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:39,898
because some of
the singles were wondering
139
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,066
if there's going to be
anything to eat or drink.
140
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,669
- Of course. There will
be plenty for everyone.
141
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,970
- Oh, good.
142
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,008
- What have you got
to eat or drink?
143
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,678
- I don't know. I'll have
to go look in the kitchen
144
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:54,746
and see.
145
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,883
- We're going to charge you
for everything you use.
146
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:02,219
- Don't you ever get tired
of being angry, Dick?
147
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:03,855
- Start your meeting.
148
00:07:06,225 --> 00:07:07,391
- Just think.
149
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:09,093
The woman of my dreams
150
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,162
may be on the other side
of this door.
151
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:14,499
- Good. Than the two of you
can split the cost of this.
152
00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:30,348
- Okay. Let's go.
153
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:32,817
- Where are you going, Kirk?
154
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,853
- I don't want to know
these people.
155
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:37,288
- Kirk, there's nothing wrong
with anybody in this room.
156
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,224
What were you expecting, a
bunch of beauty contest winners?
157
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,060
- I have to be honest.
That's what I was hoping for.
158
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,529
- Look, exciting or not,
159
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,063
these are decent,
normal people.
160
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,599
There's not a nickel's
worth of difference
161
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,333
between you and anybody
in this room.
162
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,675
- Excuse me. Do we
have the right night
163
00:07:57,744 --> 00:08:00,378
for the singles
social club?
164
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,881
- I owe you a nickel.
165
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,719
Hi. Hi, guys.
How's-- How's it going?
166
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:10,221
- Pretty good for fall.
167
00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:12,023
- How did you hear
about tonight?
168
00:08:12,091 --> 00:08:13,691
- Barber shop.
169
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,126
- Just out of curiosity,
170
00:08:15,194 --> 00:08:18,229
what were you doing
at the barber shop?
171
00:08:18,297 --> 00:08:20,264
- Darryl here was
getting a shave.
172
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,966
They do real
nice work, too.
173
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,335
Show him, Darryl.
174
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,446
- Why, uh, why don't
you guys have a seat?
175
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,182
Uh, the meeting is going
to start any minute.
176
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,283
Isn't it, Kirk?
177
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,418
- I'll never forgive you
178
00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:41,786
for making me
go through with this.
179
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,521
- Look, this is your idea,
not mine.
180
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,256
Now go up there
and start the meeting.
181
00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:46,558
- Where are you going?
182
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,560
- I'm going in the kitchen
to add up your tab.
183
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,141
- Okay. Sit down.
184
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:14,085
Good evening,
185
00:09:14,153 --> 00:09:16,253
and thank you all
for coming tonight.
186
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:19,490
By the way, did everyone
fill out a little card
187
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,226
with his or her name
and address
188
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:25,763
so we can keep you informed
of all of our club activities?
189
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,901
Okay. Good.
190
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,502
I'm very eager
to get to know
191
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:35,106
each and every one of you, and
I know at future meetings
192
00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:37,174
we're all going to become
very good friends.
193
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,477
And with that in mind,
I think we'll adjourn for now.
194
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:40,778
Please--
195
00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:43,047
Please leave your cards
at the door as you go out
196
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,683
so we can get
in touch with you.
197
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,052
- GEORGE:
Boy, that was a--
198
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,321
seemed like that was
kind of a short meeting.
199
00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:54,325
- Excuse me. By some
giant stroke of luck,
200
00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:56,027
are you here
for the singles club?
201
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,528
- Yes, I am.
202
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,631
- Get in your seats.
The meeting's back on.
203
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:05,937
Welcome back.
204
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,505
I think the first
order of business
205
00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:09,841
should be introductions.
206
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:12,877
Hi. I'm Kirk.
- Hi.
207
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,879
- And you're?
- Iris.
208
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:18,783
- Iris. Iris.
That's my favorite name
209
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:21,519
and my favorite
part of the eye.
210
00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:23,721
By the way,
you have beautiful eyes.
211
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,523
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
212
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:28,860
- Excuse me, Kirk.
- Huh?
213
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:31,929
- Do you want the rest of us
to introduce ourselves?
214
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,631
- Sure. Do what you want.
215
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:39,570
So have I see you
around town before?
216
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,707
- Uh, actually,
I just moved here.
217
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:45,442
- Well, uh, I guess
I'll start.
218
00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:49,213
[ clears throat ]
219
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:53,517
I'm George, uh...
Utley, and...
220
00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:58,022
I'm single.
221
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,197
- Where are you from
originally?
222
00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:07,264
- Manhattan.
223
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,466
- What brought you
to the boonies?
224
00:11:09,535 --> 00:11:11,736
- I'm an artist.
I just wanted to live
225
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:13,071
some place more serene.
226
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:15,073
- Uh, guess I'm next.
227
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:17,341
I'm Larry.
This is my brother Darryl.
228
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,510
This is my other
brother Darryl.
229
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,616
We're looking for
companions in life
230
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,719
as we enter
our child-bearing years.
231
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,124
[ clears throat ]
232
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:37,061
- Ed Halstead.
233
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,197
Going through a divorce
234
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,699
and just kind of auditing.
235
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:49,373
- I'm Iris Beecham,
and I'm new in town.
236
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,542
And I'm looking forward
237
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,244
to getting to know
as many people as I can.
238
00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:57,982
- Oh, now. Now, that's
what I call an introduction.
239
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,084
So what do you say?
Is it you and me?
240
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,253
- I didn't come here
to get picked up.
241
00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:04,122
- I'm not trying
to pick you up.
242
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:07,792
Can't you see I've fallen
in love with you?
243
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:10,694
- Please, cut it out.
- What?
244
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,864
We've become so jaded
in this day and age,
245
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:15,532
we can't profess
our feelings?
246
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,769
I just want to know
when I can see you again.
247
00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:20,271
- You can see me
at the next meeting.
248
00:12:20,339 --> 00:12:22,106
- Okay.
249
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,575
Uh, can I have
your attention, please?
250
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:26,978
I'm sure at this point
251
00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:29,280
we're all asking ourselves
the same question.
252
00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,015
When can we do this again?
253
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,884
How's tomorrow night
for everyone?
254
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:37,588
Okay. Well, until then,
let's adjourn.
255
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,426
Oh. And, people,
256
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,862
let's have a theme
for tomorrow, shall we?
257
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:48,132
Let's all show up
looking as good as we can.
258
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:50,902
This is what I'm
talking about.
259
00:12:58,577 --> 00:12:59,911
- Hi.
260
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:01,279
- Hi, where have you been?
261
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,746
- We went to open
a checking account
262
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,081
for Stephanie with
her first paycheck,
263
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:06,984
but kind of got sidetracked
along the way.
264
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,087
- Hi.
265
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:14,325
- You, uh, need any help?
266
00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:16,360
- Oh, no.
I'm used to this.
267
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:20,264
I had no idea
a town this size
268
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,166
could have so many
cute shops.
269
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:25,336
- Uh, how many did you hit?
- Just one.
270
00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:27,839
What have you been doing?
271
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:30,308
- Uh, working. I'm just
taking a break.
272
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:33,311
- Oh, I thought maybe
you'd be taking a break
273
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,313
on your new exercise bike.
274
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,248
- Oh, I--
I thought about it,
275
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,783
but, you know, these are
kind of nice clothes.
276
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,518
I didn't want
to get them all sweaty.
277
00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:44,956
- You won't be able to use
that excuse for long.
278
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,590
- What are you
talking about?
279
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,192
- Joanna bought you sweats.
280
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:51,695
- Now you don't have to worry
about your nice clothes.
281
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:54,732
- Oh, is-- is there no end
to your thoughtfulness?
282
00:13:58,204 --> 00:13:59,370
- Hi, guys.
283
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,375
- Kirk, uh,
where are you going?
284
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:06,377
- I've got to get ready
for my singles club meeting.
285
00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:08,045
- That was last night.
- Tonight, too.
286
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:10,014
- H-H-Hold it.
- What?
287
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,682
- You didn't say anything
to us about this.
288
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,584
Kirk, we've got people
coming over for dinner.
289
00:14:13,652 --> 00:14:16,053
- Not in the dining room
you don't.
290
00:14:16,122 --> 00:14:17,355
- It's our dining room.
291
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,123
- Well, what am I
supposed to do?
292
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,359
I have a dozen people
coming over for a meeting.
293
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:22,760
- Cancel it.
294
00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:24,295
- Look, you don't understand.
295
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,529
I met someone last night
296
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,365
who I felt deeply
in love with.
297
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:30,534
- Well, then, have at
in her dining room.
298
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,669
- Really, Kirk?
You're in love?
299
00:14:32,738 --> 00:14:33,837
- Yes.
300
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,139
- What's her name?
What's she like?
301
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,409
- Oh. Well, her name is Iris.
302
00:14:38,477 --> 00:14:43,915
Gorgeous, long hair,
hazel eyes, great skin.
303
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:46,217
- That's what she looks like.
What's she like?
304
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:48,052
- I have no idea.
305
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:51,055
- Then you're basing all this
on how she looks.
306
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,957
- She looks great.
307
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,258
- Kirk, when are
you going to learn
308
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,093
there's more to love
than looks?
309
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,995
- When there are no more
great-looking women.
310
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,532
- Kirk, believe me,
311
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,200
I am the last person
in the world
312
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:05,636
to diminish the importance
of physical beauty.
313
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:06,870
I mean...
314
00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:09,473
[ exhaling ]
315
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:14,178
But I think what Dick
is trying to say
316
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,347
is that there are other
things about a person
317
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,514
that are more important.
318
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:18,582
- Exactly.
319
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:21,285
- Like what?
- Like what?
320
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:25,957
- Personality, character,
depth.
321
00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:28,826
- I can't love someone
who isn't attractive.
322
00:15:28,894 --> 00:15:30,794
Attractive people
are confident.
323
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,863
They love life
because life loves them.
324
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,266
Ugly people are
depressed and neurotic.
325
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,868
They hate life because
life has no time for them.
326
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,204
It's too busy
loving attractive people.
327
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,505
It's not my fault.
328
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:43,540
This is the way
the universe works.
329
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,277
I'll give you 50 bucks
if you eat in the kitchen.
330
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:47,478
- No.
331
00:15:47,546 --> 00:15:49,280
- Honey, uh...
332
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:52,216
what if we let them meet
out here in the lobby?
333
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,884
- Why are you
doing this for him?
334
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,519
- I'm not. I'm doing it
335
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:56,988
for the other people
in the club
336
00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,556
who are not necessarily
depressed and neurotic.
337
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,226
- You've seen them,
haven't you?
338
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,861
- All right, you meet
in the lobby.
339
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:06,130
But this is the last time
you meet in the inn, ever,
340
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,531
and you bring your own food.
341
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,666
- Thank you, Joanna.
342
00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:11,168
When Iris and I
get married,
343
00:16:11,237 --> 00:16:12,636
I promise we'll go away,
344
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,705
and Dick won't ever
have to be kind
345
00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:16,107
to anyone again.
346
00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:20,944
- Kirk, I won't
be able to be here
347
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:24,681
because it's Saturday night,
so obviously I have a date.
348
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:28,019
But as your friend,
I want you to know
349
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:30,054
that I really hope
everything works out
350
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,223
just the way you want it to
between you and Irene.
351
00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:34,791
- Iris.
- Whatever.
352
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:38,662
[ slow dance music plays ]
353
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:40,864
[ chattering ]
354
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:46,937
- Well, you did it.
- Did what, George?
355
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,241
- This club. It's great.
I even met somebody.
356
00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:52,809
- Who?
- Dave over there.
357
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:57,348
- George, the club
is for meeting women.
358
00:16:57,417 --> 00:17:00,284
- Well, I'm not too crazy about
the women that showed up,
359
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:03,087
so Dave and I are just
going to go fishing together.
360
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,190
- Evening.
361
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:07,958
- Hi, Larry.
- Hi.
362
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,960
- Slim pickings.
363
00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,631
- Hello there.
364
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,500
- Of course, even if
the pickings was good,
365
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,902
there's no getting a girl
with Darryl around.
366
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:23,441
- I guess even
when you get older,
367
00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:25,976
the guys still end up
hanging out together.
368
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:31,282
When did you make these?
369
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:34,385
- This afternoon. Why?
- They're cold.
370
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:35,453
Shouldn't we try
to do something
371
00:17:35,521 --> 00:17:36,653
to keep them warm?
372
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,822
- Why don't you put
your coat over them?
373
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:47,998
- Excuse me.
My woman's here.
374
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:58,476
Hi. I was afraid
you weren't coming.
375
00:17:58,544 --> 00:17:59,810
- I was painting.
376
00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:02,079
- The important thing
is you're here now.
377
00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:05,483
Mind if I cut in?
- We just started.
378
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:06,950
Why don't you
try the next dance?
379
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,785
- Okay. Sorry.
380
00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:13,824
[ music stops ]
381
00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:14,958
- Okay, singles.
382
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,060
We're here to meet
new people.
383
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:19,830
Let's change partners.
384
00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:21,398
[ music resumes ]
385
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:22,899
- Shall we?
386
00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:25,236
- Would you mind if we
have just one dance?
387
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:27,904
- Oh. Sure. My mistake.
388
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:34,612
- Would-- Would you
like to dance?
389
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,247
- Artificial leg.
390
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:45,289
Come on.
What's the deal here?
391
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,590
I mean, this is supposed
to be a mixer.
392
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:47,958
Let's mix.
393
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:51,061
- I'm sorry. Would you
excuse us for just a second?
394
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,300
What is the matter with you?
395
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,269
- Can I help it if you're
the only one here
396
00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:00,604
I want to be with?
- You're very rude.
397
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,339
- All right.
I'm a little pushy, okay.
398
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:03,940
But look around the room
and ask yourself
399
00:19:04,009 --> 00:19:05,543
which two people have the
best shot
400
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:07,077
at good-looking children?
401
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:09,446
- You're also arrogant.
402
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,248
- I'm sorry.
I'm attracted to you.
403
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,250
- Well, I'm not
attracted to you.
404
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,452
Look, I don't like pushy,
405
00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:18,422
I don't like rude,
and I don't like arrogant.
406
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:22,025
- All right.
I deserve that.
407
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:23,460
[ sighs ]
408
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:26,397
But I think you should know
I'm really not like this.
409
00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:29,466
I'm usually
a very sensitive person.
410
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:34,805
I guess I've been acting
this way because, well...
411
00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:36,607
I'm insecure.
412
00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:39,810
I guess I was pushy
413
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:41,545
because I was excited
about meeting you,
414
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,647
and I was rude because
I wanted you so much.
415
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,216
And what sounded
like arrogance
416
00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:47,918
was really just a man who
knows what he's looking for
417
00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:51,488
and thinks
he may have found it.
418
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:54,491
- I guess what
I really don't like
419
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,760
is a guy who thinks
he can make it with me
420
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,429
by spilling his guts.
421
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,370
- Maybe you'd like to go
fishing with me and Dave.
422
00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:17,147
- Dick, can I talk to you?
- What?
423
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,783
- Talk. You know,
talky talk-talk-talk.
424
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:21,285
- We're having dinner.
425
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:24,388
- Well, I'm having a crisis.
Which one do we put off?
426
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,457
I'm sorry. I'm Kirk.
427
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:28,024
- We're sorry, too.
428
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:32,062
- Clifford Murphy.
This is my wife Peg.
429
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,797
- Hello.
- Nice meeting you.
430
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,633
- Kirk is in charge
of the singles club
431
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:36,967
that's meeting
in the lobby.
432
00:20:37,035 --> 00:20:39,002
- Oh, yes.
When we came in,
433
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,672
someone asked us
if we wanted to join.
434
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:44,341
- Yeah.
Single people are stupid.
435
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,243
Dick, kitchen?
436
00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:47,811
- Kirk, I'm not going off
437
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,380
while we're entertaining
our guests.
438
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:50,648
- Oh, don't mind us.
439
00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:52,949
- Look, you don't understand.
She rejected me.
440
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:54,618
- Who did?
- Iris.
441
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,853
I came on too strong.
I blew it.
442
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,889
Now she's out there
dancing with another man,
443
00:20:58,957 --> 00:21:00,324
and I wish I was dead.
444
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,993
- Anyone want more salad?
445
00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:04,728
- I'm sure Cliff and Peg
446
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,563
are impressed
with your compassion.
447
00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:08,098
I loved her.
448
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:09,466
- You loved her looks.
449
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:10,934
That's the only thing
you care about.
450
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:12,770
You followed Victoria
from Montana
451
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:13,970
because you loved her looks.
452
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:15,939
Then it was Leslie.
Now it's Violet.
453
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,874
- Iris.
- Whatever.
454
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,243
- Look, I know you don't think
I have any feelings,
455
00:21:20,313 --> 00:21:22,045
but I poured my heart
out to that girl,
456
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,314
and she rejected me for it.
457
00:21:23,382 --> 00:21:25,115
- Kirk, maybe she didn't
reject your heart.
458
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:27,284
Maybe she's just
as shallow as you are,
459
00:21:27,353 --> 00:21:29,653
and she rejected
your big nose.
460
00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:34,891
- Ah. Well, thank you,
Dr. Basset Hound Face.
461
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:38,329
- Guys, we're having
a nice dinner.
462
00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:40,197
- I didn't mean to insult him.
463
00:21:40,265 --> 00:21:42,766
All I'm trying to say
is if you live by the sword,
464
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:43,967
you die by the sword.
465
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:46,036
- Is that another nose joke?
466
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:49,139
- Kirk, what I'm trying to say
467
00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:51,675
is you can continue with
this obsession about looks,
468
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:53,210
or you can get past that
469
00:21:53,278 --> 00:21:54,978
and give an ordinary person
a chance.
470
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,447
- Oh, come on.
You can't tell me
471
00:21:56,515 --> 00:21:58,014
you didn't pick Joanna
because of her looks.
472
00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,884
- Not at all.
- Thank you.
473
00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:03,186
- Honey, I don't mean
you don't look great.
474
00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:04,855
It's just that that
wasn't the only reason
475
00:22:04,923 --> 00:22:06,323
I went out with you.
476
00:22:06,392 --> 00:22:08,359
- And that's certainly not
why I went out with Dick.
477
00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:15,165
- Are we even now?
- I'm sorry about all this.
478
00:22:15,234 --> 00:22:16,500
- Yeah. Uh, me, too.
479
00:22:16,569 --> 00:22:18,235
Look, Kirk,
480
00:22:18,303 --> 00:22:20,036
you're going to turn around
and leave now,
481
00:22:20,105 --> 00:22:21,572
and you're going to go
out in the lobby,
482
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,407
and when you do, you're going
to have to make two choices.
483
00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:24,775
One is you're going to
have to stop
484
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,009
and talk
to some nice people,
485
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:27,277
or you're going to go home
486
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:29,312
and be alone and miserable
the rest of your life.
487
00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:33,049
It is up to you, but you are
going to leave now.
488
00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:42,793
- Okay, you're right.
489
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:44,060
I mean, like it or not,
490
00:22:44,129 --> 00:22:46,162
I did put this
whole thing together.
491
00:22:46,231 --> 00:22:48,465
Those people are out there
because I invited them.
492
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:51,402
I'm their host, and
I have responsibilities.
493
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:53,670
The only thing left
is for me to go out there
494
00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:55,205
and do what I have to do.
495
00:23:09,354 --> 00:23:10,287
Excuse me.
496
00:23:12,991 --> 00:23:15,759
Listen, I, uh,
I lied to you before.
497
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:18,962
I really don't have
an artificial leg.
498
00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:21,799
And, uh, if you still
want to dance with me,
499
00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:23,133
I'd be honored.
500
00:23:23,201 --> 00:23:24,968
- I'd love to.
501
00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:30,206
This is a nice song.
502
00:23:30,275 --> 00:23:34,478
- Yeah.
You're nice yourself.
503
00:23:34,547 --> 00:23:38,315
- Could I ask, what do you
do for a living?
504
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- I represent this district
in the United States Congress.
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