Original subtitles

- Knock, knock.

- Who's there?

- Jim and Chester.

- Jim and Chester who?

- Hi, Dick. - Hi, Dick.

- Oh, hi. Hi, guys. I'm sorry.

I thought you were a knock-knock joke.

- Oh? Which one did you think we were?

- Never mind.

- Never mind who?

- Forget the joke.

Well, what can I do for you?

- Well, as you probably know,

Thanksgiving is almost upon us.

- Yeah, I think I heard something about that.

- Every year, this town has a Thanksgiving Day parade.

About 30 of us put it together.

We get the Chamber of Commerce to be in it, the Boy Scouts.

Some of the townspeople dress up like Pilgrims.

- We even have a float featuring Plymouth Rock.

- Although it's not the real Plymouth Rock.

- I didn't think so.

- Oh, but don't say anything,

'cause not everybody knows that.

- Anyway, you can probably guess

what we're leading up to.

- You want me to be honorary grand marshal or something?

- No. We asked Bob Hope to do that.

- If he can't do it, it's gonna be Lester Hodges.

He's the only one in town with a convertible.

- We wanted you to be parade director.

- Isn't this kind of late?

I mean, Thanksgiving, you know, is next week.

- Well, the parade runs itself really.

We just need someone to be in charge.

- We thought since you didn't have a regular job,

that you'd have time to do it.

- Well, as surprising as this may sound,

I'm busy working on a book right now.

- You are?

- Gee, Dick, we were counting on you.

- I'm sorry.

- I could do it.

- Who did it last year?

- Roger Bishop, but he wants to be a Pilgrim this year.

- I could do it.

- What'd you say, George?

- Oh, I was just saying I could do it.

- Well, now there's somebody

we never would have thought of.

- George is a great choice.

I mean, he's lived here all this life,

he knows the town, and I'll make sure he has the time.

- Well, what do you think, Chester?

- Well, the parade director

doesn't really have to do anything.

- That's true. He just has to be able to wave.

- I'm sure George could do that.

- Well, that settles it then.

George, you're our new parade director.

- Me? - Congratulations.

We know you won't take the job lightly.

- Did you ever see a real Thanksgiving Day parade, Dick?

- When we lived in New York, I saw the Macy's parade.

- Oh, you're in for a treat.

The whole town looks forward to it every year.

- The only drawback

is that the people who work on the parade

miss out on Thanksgiving dinner.

- We do?

- Well, after all that hard work,

there just isn't time to put into a big fancy meal.

- Well, maybe I'll just have dinner with Bob Hope.

- George, I don't think Bob Hope is coming.

Why don't you all get together, you know?

Have a group meal like one of your potlucks.

- Well, we would, but they use the Fellowship Hall

to feed the poor,

and we can't think of another place

big enough to hold all of us.

- Well, the Stratford's big enough.

Why don't you meet here?

- Do you mean that, Dick?

- Sure. We'll make our own potluck.

You all bring a dish and we'll cook the turkey.

- Hey, hey, hey!

- Hey, that's great. Thanks a lot, Dick.

- Boy, this was a good trip.

We got a parade director

and a Thanksgiving dinner all in 10 minutes.

- Let's go tell Joanna the news.

Joanna, you'll never believe it.

Jim and Chester came by looking for someone

to direct the Thanksgiving Day parade,

and guess who they picked.

- Dick? Oh, honey, that's wonderful. Congratulations.

- Thanks. Actually, they picked George.

- Oh. George, that's wonderful. Congratulations.

- Well, thanks. I'm gonna go tell Kirk.

Boy, is he gonna be surprised.

This is gonna be a proud day for the Stratford.

I get to direct a parade and then everyone

gets to come over here for Thanksgiving dinner.

- By the way,

I invited some people over for Thanksgiving.

- Yeah, that's what I heard.

Who did you invite?

- Just the people on the parade committee.

- How many people is that?

- Um, 30.

- You invited 30 people to Thanksgiving dinner

without even asking me?

- Honey, don't be silly. You're invited, too.

Look, it wasn't intentional.

It's just that Jim and Chester were talking about

how nobody on the parade committee

ever gets a chance to have Thanksgiving dinner,

and I thought it was a nice thing to do.

Besides, everybody's bringing something,

so all we have to worry about is the turkey.

- Do you know how many turkeys it takes to feed 30 people?

- Actually, it's 30 couples.

- 60 people?

- Unless they bring their kids.

- Honestly, Dick, how many people are we talking about?

- Honey, you're right.

You know, thinking about this some more,

it wasn't such a great idea.

I'm gonna call it off.

- Wait. Wait a minute. You can't uninvite people.

- Well, why not?

- Because it's rude and thoughtless

and it'll sound like it was my idea.

Face it, we're stuck,

and on my parents' first visit here.

They're coming all the way from Ohio

expecting a nice little family dinner.

- Honey, I didn't mean to ruin Thanksgiving.

- Congratulations, Dick.

You have ruined Thanksgiving.

- How did I ruin your Thanksgiving?

- By inviting the whole town over for dinner.

Every Thanksgiving, everyone who didn't wanna cook

would come to the Minuteman.

- Look, I'm sorry I messed up everybody's holiday,

but inviting those people seemed like a decent gesture.

I mean, Thanksgiving is a time for giving,

and this year, we're giving.

- Well, thanks.

- Hi, hi. Is your mother there?

Could I talk to her, please?

- Stephanie, would you take the stuffing out of this turkey

while I put another one in the oven?

- Sure.

How do I do that?

- I'll put this one in and then I'll show you.

Here, like this.

- Huh?

There. - Done?

- Yeah. - Thanks.

- You're welcome.

- This is Dick Loudon at the Stratford Inn.

Yeah, I'm calling about Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.

Yes, we're looking forward to it, too.

I'm just trying to coordinate what everyone is bringing.

Well, what we need are potatoes.

No, not Tator Tots. We were thinking mashed.

You're right. The holidays are a pain.

But can we count on you?

Great. We'll see you tomorrow. Goodbye.

- Stephanie, if you wanna help,

maybe you could wash those turkeys.

- Hi, everybody.

Boy, it sure smells good in here.

- Really? The smell of turkey

seems to have lost its thrill for me.

- Dick, I wanted to show you my plans for the parade route.

- Oh, fine.

- I've given this a lot of thought over the past week,

and this is what I finally come up with.

Follow my finger.

The parade starts here at the top of Main Street,

goes along here, along here, along here, along here,

and here's where it ends.

- The end of Main Street. - Yeah.

- Boy, I can hear those bands playing already, George.

- I better make copies.

I don't want anybody getting lost.

- Stephanie, what are you doing?

- You said to wash the turkeys.

- I didn't mean give them a shampoo.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I guess I misunderstood.

I'm not feeling very well.

- What's the matter?

- I don't know.

My head hurts, I feel woozy,

and looking at all these dead turkeys

makes me wanna ralph.

- All right. If you're really not feeling well,

maybe you'd better go upstairs.

- Okay.

- Joanna, how long has this turkey been in here?

- A couple of hours. Why?

- I don't think it's cooking.

- You're kidding!

Oh, no! I hope it's not the oven.

- I don't know what could be wrong with it.

- Maybe it's sick of turkey.

- Turkey men!

- Oh, no! How many more are there?

- These are the last two.

[ telephone rings ] - I'll get it.

- Everybody's looking forward to tomorrow.

My wife said anyone who'd cook Thanksgiving dinner

for 94 people must be a saint.

- No. She said they must be insane.

- Honey, do you remember anything

about a group of 12 from Arizona?

- Oh, that's right. I completely forgot.

- No, we didn't forget. We're looking forward to it.

As luck would have it,

we are serving Thanksgiving dinner.

- Guys, we're gonna need more turkeys.

- Say no more. - Turkey men to the rescue!

- Goodbye. See you tomorrow.

- I don't believe this.

We're gonna have over 100 people here

for Thanksgiving dinner.

- Honey, remember those nights in Manhattan

when we used to sit in our little apartment

and think about how great it would be

to someday own a place like this?

And how warm it would be

if it was always filled with friends and family?

- Yeah.

- Well, we were wrong.

- Just a little over normal.

- How much over?

- 102. - 102 degrees over normal?

- No, your temperature's 102.

- Oh, that's a little better.

- I still think you should really be in bed.

- Oh, I hate being in bed with the flu.

It makes me feel sick. Ah-choo!

I'd rather be here around people.

[ coughs ]

- Stephanie, you can't just lie here

in the middle of all the guests.

- Oh, you're right.

I wouldn't want them to see me like this.

- I'll be in the kitchen if you need me for anything.

- I really do hate to leave you with all this work.

- Don't worry about it. - Okay.

Oh, Joanna, if you get a chance,

could you bring me up something to make me feel better?

- Sure. What do you need?

- "Harper's Bazaar."

- Maybe I'll bring you something for your flu, too.

- Whatever.

- Surprise! - Surprise!

- Oh, mom, dad!

- Yep, it's the old folks!

- How are you?

- I didn't know it was raining.

- Oh, I guess when you live in a big mansion like this,

you don't hear the rain, huh?

- Dad, this isn't a mansion. It's just an inn.

Here, let me take your coats.

- Thank you. - How was your trip?

- Oh, fine. How come you're not dressed?

- Oh, she doesn't have to be dressed.

They're living the life of Riley now that they're retired.

- Dad, we are not retired.

- Now you know your father. He's just teasing you.

Ernest, don't tease.

- I'm sorry I look like this,

but things have been a little hectic around here.

Our caretaker's gone, one of the ovens is broken,

and now my maid's sick.

- Oh, the problems of the rich.

- Ernest! Oh, darling, your place

is even more beautiful than in the pictures.

- You think so?

- I really do.

I can't tell you how much

we've looked forward to this little get-together.

- Well, that's something else I have to explain.

I really hate to tell you this

because I'm afraid you won't understand.

- Nonsense. We're your parents.

- We're having some extra people over

for Thanksgiving dinner.

I'm sorry.

- Well, nothing we can do about it.

I'm sure it couldn't be helped.

Well, Ernest, why don't you take our suitcases up to the room?

We do have a room, don't we?

- Of course, you do. Don't be silly.

You're my parents.

You have our most special room.

Room six.

- Well, six is a nice number.

- I know this isn't turning out the way we planned.

- It's okay. We'll make the best of it.

- You need some help in the kitchen?

- Oh, yes, I do, mother.

- And you thought you weren't

going to have to cook this year, hmm?

- Joanna, who's the jerk

that parked in the middle of the driveway?

- Hello, Richard.

- Oh, hi.

Hi, Dad. When did you get here?

- We pulled in a couple of minutes ago.

- Nice car.

- Yeah.

- Oh, hi. - What are you doing here?

I thought you were at the parade.

- It's been rained out.

- Oh, no. How's George taking it?

- Well, not too well.

Last time I saw him,

he was walking down Main Street kicking puddles.

What's that?

- Stephanie's got the flu.

I was just taking this up to her.

On top of that, my parents arrived,

I haven't slept all night,

and I've still got two more turkeys to cook.

- Well, let me take the tray while I tell you my news.

- What?

- Well, since the parade's been rained out,

no one really has anything to do, so--

- Don't tell me they're coming early.

- Yeah. - How early?

- Hello.

- Dick, how could you do this to me?

The food isn't ready and I'm not even dressed!

- Honey, calm down. There's a way out of this.

- What is it? - I have no idea.

- Why don't you take Stephanie's tray up to her

and bring me something to wear.

I'll go hide in the kitchen.

- Did I hear Dick?

- Yeah. The parade got rained out,

and everybody's come early.

- Oh, dear, and look at you.

- Here are the dishes you asked for.

- Good. You got here just in time.

- Yeah. Can I use your dishwasher?

- You mean they're dirty?

- Well, some of them. They're mixed in together.

Oh, who's the senior citizen?

- Kirk, this is my mother, Florine McKenna.

Mom, this is our neighbor, Kirk Devane.

- How do you do? - Hi.

So you wanna take off your rings and give me a hand?

- Hi, Mom. Hi, Kirk.

- Hi, Dick.

- Well, here you go.

- This is pants and a sweater. It's Thanksgiving.

Honey, please go upstairs and bring me my yellow dress.

- Joanna, you look so pasty in yellow.

- Find me a dress.

- Maybe something in red.

- Fine.

- Flo? Dishes?

- Oh, hi, Dick. Happy Thanksgiving.

- Oh, hi, guys.

- Where's Joanna? Still working on those turkeys?

- Yeah. - What are you doing?

- Uh, you might say I'm helping her with the dressing.

- I see your guests have arrived.

- Uh, yeah.

- I guess you don't have time to introduce me to anyone.

- Oh, don't be silly.

Everybody, this is my father-in-law Ernest McKenna.

Dad...this is everybody.

- Mom, could you clear some space so I could put this down?

- It's okay. I can handle this until you get back.

- Hi, everybody.

- Put on your coats. It's the Rainmaker.

- Be quiet and wash, Kirk.

Mom, this is our caretaker, George Utley.

George, my mother.

- Oh, it's nice to meet you.

- If I seem sad, it's because it just poured

on the greatest day of my life.

- I'm sorry. I know exactly how you feel.

- George, why don't you go out there and be with your friends?

They'll take your mind off your troubles.

- Maybe you're right.

Hi, Dick.

- Hi, George. Feeling low, huh?

- Yeah.

- Well, how's this?

- Fine. Where are the shoes and stockings?

- You didn't say you needed them.

- I didn't say I needed 100 people for Thanksgiving either,

but you thought of that.

- Right.

Now is there anything else you can think of

that isn't readily apparent to me?

- Her hair's a mess.

- All right, a brush and comb.

- Maybe a little lipstick, you know, for color.

- Hi. Me again. Just keep mingling.

Dinner should be ready in just a few hours.

- Oh, good.

- George, come meet Joanna's father.

- Howdy. George Utley.

- Ernest McKenna. Joanna's told us a lot about you.

- Oh?

- George was in charge of our parade today.

- Oh, you must be devastated.

- Hi, everybody.

- Hi, Stephanie.

- Why don't you come down and join us?

- I can't. [ coughs ] I'm sick.

- Oh.

- Stephanie, this is Joanna's father.

- Ernest McKenna. Nice to meet you.

- Stephanie Vanderkeller.

I usually look a lot better than this.

- That's true.

- Oh, Dick, would you take my tray down for me?

- In a minute.

- Well, goodbye, everybody.

- Bye. - Bye.

- There. That's the last one.

- You're a terrific dishwasher, Flo.

- Thanks. - No, I'm serious.

If inflation ever eats up your pension, come work for me.

- Well, I hope this is everything.

- So do I. Now everybody get out so I can get dressed.

- Come on, Flo. I'll introduce you to the others.

- Let's go mingle with the bumpkins.

- Joanna, can I get some-- Oops!

- So what do you think of Vermont so far?

- I haven't really seen anything but Joanna's kitchen.

- Oh. Isn't that beautiful?

- Sorry, Dick. I didn't know

Joanna was dressing in the kitchen.

- Oh, no.

- Is there someplace else I could get a drink of water?

- I'll get you one. [ telephone rings ]

- You want me to get that, Dick?

- Uh, yeah, thanks.

[ ring ]

- Hello. This is the Stratford Inn.

Can I help you?

Oh, gosh. Oh, dear.

Okay, I'll tell everybody.

Hey, everybody, the river's rising!

They say if the storm keeps up, there could be a flood!

- Well, we all know what that means.

- Here's your water, Jim.

- No time for water now, Dick.

There could be a flood. - What?

- Yeah, the river's rising. We have to go.

- We have to start sandbagging our homes.

- Come on, everybody, hurry! Time's a'wasting!

- Wait a minute! What about dinner?

- No time for dinner, Dick.

- Maybe we can do it next year.

- But what about the 14 turkeys?

- I'd better go see if I can help.

- Wait a minute, George, what about our place?

- Oh, we're okay, Dick. We're on high ground.

- Well, everybody, here I come at last.

- Oh, perfect.

- Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

- Happy Thanksgiving, honey.

- What happened? Where is everyone?

- Honey, don't get upset. They had to leave.

- What do you mean they had to leave?

I just spent seven days cooking 14 turkeys.

Where the hell did they go?

- The river's rising.

They had to go and sandbag their homes.

- Oh. - Feel better now?

- No. This is terrible.

- If you're worried about the food,

I'll take it off your hands.

- You're not getting our food.

- Do you suppose there's any way

we could take all this food around to everybody?

- I don't know. We can try.

- Well, then let's do it. You and Dad start carving.

Mom and I will start dishing up the stuffing.

We'll make up turkey dinners

and take them around to the whole town.

- What a fine idea and I'll be right behind you

offering soft drinks.

- Oh, good, you're back. I was worried sick.

- Yeah, we can tell.

- How did it go?

- Believe it or not, I think we got food to everybody.

- Everybody? We even fed some Red Cross workers

who I'm sure had already eaten.

- How are you feeling?

- Better. [ cough ]

- Well, it stopped raining.

It looks like everything's gonna be okay.

- Boy, what a day!

- Mom, dad, we really appreciate you helping us out.

We know it wasn't your idea of a great Thanksgiving.

- Are you kidding?

It's the best Thanksgiving we ever had.

- It was?

- Yeah. I feel like

we really got into the spirit of the season today.

- I think we all realized we have a lot to be thankful for.

- And with that in mind, let's eat.

- My appetite's back.

- Oh, mine, too. I'm starved.

- Oh, no. - What's the matter?

- I just realized we don't have anything to eat.

We gave all the food away.

- You carved all those turkeys

and you didn't horde any for us?

- What does it take to teach you a lesson?

What we did today is what Thanksgiving is all about.

- It's also about eating yourself into a coma.

- Well, let's go look in the kitchen.

Maybe we can scrounge up something.

- Excuse me? - Yes?

- I've got a group of people from Arizona on my bus.

- Oh, that's right. I almost forgot.

- I know it's late, but do you still have their rooms?

- Of course we still have them.

- Okay, folks, come on in.

- We're surprised you made it through the storm.

- Me, too. It was touch and go there for a while.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Thank you for holding our rooms for us.

- Oh, you're quite welcome.

Unfortunately, we had an emergency,

so we're not gonna be able

to feed you Thanksgiving dinner after all.

- That's okay.

We stopped and bought burgers on the way.

- Is this ironic?

Here we are on Thanksgiving with no food,

and who should show up at our doorstep

but a tribe of American Indians.

I guess the next thing is

you offer to share your food with us.

- I don't know. The last time we did this,

we got into a lot of trouble.

- Meow.