All language subtitles for Newhart - S01E07

Dick, stop
whatever you're doing.

I just got a great idea.

Well, I hope it
doesn't have anything to do
with my coat and my boots.

Come on, honey,
we've been cooped up
in here all day.

We need to get
out and exercise.

We are not active enough.

I'm active. Who do you
think has been turning
these pages?

Dick, it's not healthy
to stay in the house
all the time.

Come on, put on
your boots and let's
go for a walk.

What are you doing?
I can put on my own boots.

Well, then do it.

I don't want to.

I mean, it's snowing.
It's eight degrees out there.

Why do we have
to do it now?

Because it will
be invigorating.

It will be
invigorating later.

Like when?

Like spring.

Dick, you need exercise.

Without it your
muscles atrophy,
your arteries clog,

your heart gets weak
and shrivels up.

Do you want to just
lie there like a lump
and deteriorate?

I'd like to give it a shot.

I'll tell you what,
if you let me lie here
and deteriorate today,

I'll go for a walk tomorrow.

You promise?

I cross whatever
is left of my heart.

Okay.

Hi, guys.
Is Leslie around?

No, it's her day off,
and she went skiing.

Oh. Do you know what
time she'll be back?

It could be hours.

I'll wait.

Is there anything
in particular you wanted?

Yeah, I wanted to be
around Leslie.

But this is good.
This will give
the three of us

a chance to talk.

Talk about what?
I don't know.

It just seems I'm always
talking to Leslie,

and the three of us
haven't had much
of a chance

to really get
to know each other.

I guess that's true.
Yeah.

Now, the first thing
I really want
to know is this,

what time do you think
Leslie will be back?

If wishing can make
it so, any minute.

Hey, Dick,
I'm glad I caught you.

As a history buff,
you'll love this.

A doormat?

It's not just a doormat.

It's the first doormat.

Ever?

No, here at the inn.

My father bought this
the year I was born.

Imagine if these
bristles could talk.

That would be some doormat.

You know what
I think I'll do?

I think I'll put this mat
by the front door,

and put the one
that's there now
out by the back door.

You know, I like a man
who is not afraid of change.

Hi, George.
Hi.

Hi.

Oh, hi, everybody.

GEORGE: See,
it still works.

I want you to meet
one of my oldest

and absolute best friends,
Blake LeMaster.

This is Dick
and Joanna Loudon,
the people I work for,

and our next door neighbor,
Kirk Devane.

Well, it's nice
to meet you all.

Same here.

Weren't you
the one I spoke to
on the phone this morning?

Yes, I just flew in
on the spur of the moment.

By the way,
thanks for telling me
where I could find Leslie.

Do you know
what he did?

I was skiing
down Suicide Point,
practicing my slalom,

when all of
a sudden he swooped down,
caught me from behind,

lofted me on
his shoulders

and carried me on to
the base of the mountain.

Where we collapsed
into a snow bank,
laughing like children.

Have you ever
heard of anything
more incredible?

I've never seen
anything like him.

Skiing, huh?

Yeah, do you ski?

I guess I ski.
I grew up
in Switzerland.

I know Switzerland.
What part?

The snowy part.

If you're from Switzerland,
what happened to your accent?

I lost it in a bad fall.

Why don't we all
come over and sit down?

Yeah.

So, you say you two
have known each other
for a long time.

Since childhood.
It's always been

Blake and Leslie,
Leslie and Blake.

All the way
through high school,
we were inseparable.

Silly,
superficial high school.

Sounds like it was
pretty serious to me.

Well, we did go steady
for four years.

Yeah, but that's because
everybody went steady.

And we did spend
those three months
together touring Europe.

Show me two kids
who didn't.

So what caused
you two to break up?

We just had different things
we wanted to do.

I remember we were on
a boat in the middle
of the Mediterranean,

and I wanted to go to Turkey,
and Leslie wanted
to go to school.

It's always
the same old story.

So what do you do now, Blake?

Oh, this and that.

Will you listen to him?

Believe me,
if it's a challenge,
if it's dangerous,

if it's never
been done before,
Blake will do it.

We sound like twins.

Say, I got an idea.
Why don't the three of us
have dinner tonight?

Oh, that'd be great,
only I invited Blake
to have dinner here tonight.

If that's okay with you two.

It's fine with us.

We'd love to have you,

and you're welcome
to stay the night.

Thanks a lot.
I'd like that.

I hope you don't mind, Kirk.

Maybe tomorrow.

No. Fine.

Is he upset?

I think so. But why?

You know the Swiss.

BLAKE: Look at how smooth
the snow is out there.

Like no living thing
has ever walked on it.

Yeah, you can bet tomorrow

some fool will be out there
with his boots on
messing it up.

I love this country up here.

It's so great to
look out your window

and to be able to see
such incredible serenity.

(GASPS)

Kirk's here.

Hope everybody's hungry.

Well, it smells delicious.

I'm sure it will be.
Joanna is a great cook.

Honey, listen,
I meant to explain,

I wasn't expecting
this many people,

and we really
didn't have anything
in the house,

so I had to run out,

and the only thing
that looked really good
at the store...

This is lamb, isn't it?

Yeah, but I made
your favorite potatoes.

Mashed?

I made your second
favorite potatoes.

Hi, everyone.
Sorry I'm late.

Just as I was
getting ready to leave,

I had to put out
a grease fire.

I guess that's
one of the hazards
of running a restaurant.

It was under my car.

Anyway, I brought you this.

Oh, Kirk, how sweet.
Thank you.

You didn't have
to do that.

It's an ashtray
from my souvenir shop.

"Put your butt here."

Cute, huh?

Almost makes me
wish I smoked.

Okay, why don't you
all sit down?

Thanks again
for inviting me.

Well, like you
said when you called,
you weren't doing anything.

KIRK: Leslie,
where are you sitting?

Right here.
I'm there.

(KIRK CHUCKLING)

Thank you.

Thank you.

Joanna, thank you for going
to all this trouble.

Yeah, I love lamb.

Who doesn't?

George, I was just
about to make a toast.

All right, I'll make it quick.
Here's to Blake.

Thank you.

Now I'd like
to make a toast.
Is that okay?

Sure.

"Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye

"That's all we
shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die

"I lift my glass to my mouth
I look at you, and I sigh"

Now I want to make a toast.

Kirk,
I'm a little toasted out.

Yeah, why don't we all
just go ahead and eat?

By the way,
this is a nice Bordeaux.

Uh, Chateau Montrose, 1976.

He's right.

You showoff.

Not really, there's
a little trick to that

I picked up
in the south of
France last year.

What's that?
Read the label first.

Clever.

You know, I once picked up
a little trick in
the south of France.

Her name was Babette.

Here you go.

What were you
doing in France?
Vacationing?

No. A friend and I
had this car, and
we found ourselves

with a little
time on our hands,

so we took it over
and ran it in Le Mans.

Oh, that's nice.

Wait a minute, Joanna.

You raced a car
in Le Mans?

Yeah, with a friend.

How did you do?

Kirk, when someone's
raced a car at Le Mans,

you don't ask
how they did.

I mean, what matters
is they raced
a car at Le Mans.

And won.

Wow!

I think you've
struck a chord with Dick.

Well, I love racing.

You know, it's
an incredible blend
of man and machine.

I can't think of
anything more exciting.

How about watching
the sun coming up
over Mount Kilimanjaro?

Oh, yeah.

He's amazing, isn't he?

Blake, you sound to me
like you've traveled some.

George, Blake's
been around the world.

How many times?
Oh, I don't know.

Ten?
Or 20.

And I still can't
believe the things he does.

If there's a mountain,
he climbs it.

If there's an ocean,
he swims it.

If there's an evening,
he ruins it.

And what's more amazing
is that he always succeeds

at everything he does.

As long as I
have known Blake,

he's always won
at everything
he's ever tried.

Well, I guess
there's only one thing
in my life

that I have wanted
and haven't won.

What's that?

This lady right here.

Oh, Blake.
No, Leslie, it's true.

That's why I'm here.

What do you mean?

Yeah, what do you mean?

Leslie, I came back
to ask you to marry me.

And I don't care
how long it takes,

I'm not leaving
until you say yes.

I'm sorry, I was eating.
What did you say?

What do you say?

Blake, I'm not ready
to be married.

Do you love me?
You know how I
feel about you.

But what about
my education?

What about the Olympics?

Leslie, what about them?

When you study,
I'll be there right
beside you turning the pages.

When you're skiing,
I'll be the one
holding the stopwatch.

Leslie, I don't want
to interfere with your life,

I want to champion it.

You know, this would mean
you'd have to come
here to live.

I mean,
it's not Tibet or Khartoum.

It's just plain old Vermont.

Not that Vermont
can't be fun.

What do you say?

Uh, Dick,
do you need anything?

No,
that's all right, I just...
I came down to get something,

but, you know,
I can get it in the morning.

What were you going to get?

A book to read tonight.

Well, don't worry about us.

No, that's all right,
I should be in bed.

I have that walk tomorrow.

Dick, don't be silly,
get the book.

Well, it'll only
take a second.

I'll grab
the first book I see.

Kirk.
Oh, hi, Dick.

How did you get in here?

What's the difference
how I got in here?

The point is
I'm losing Leslie.

I don't think you
ever had Leslie.

You don't have to
actually have someone
to lose them.

Did Rex Harrison
have Audrey Hepburn?

Did Humphrey Bogart
have Ingrid Bergman?

Go home, Kirk.
It's late.

Go home to what?

To a crummy little cafe
with a cheap souvenir
shop and Formica tables?

That's all my life
is now without Leslie.

That's all it was before.

You're a real fountain
of sympathy, Dick.

Well, I'm sorry, Kirk.

I know you're
feeling bad, but it's...

I mean, it's not like
you're losing her
to some jerk.

I mean, you're losing her
to a great guy,

probably the greatest guy
I've ever met in my life.

What do I do, Dick?

I mean, you must know
what it's like to lose,

a guy like you.

Well, there was one time,
I was in college.

We worked on
this radical
student newspaper.

Wait a minute.

You, Mr. Penny Loafer,
worked on
a radical newspaper?

I was the editor.

Forgive me, Dick,
it's hard to picture you
as an angry young man.

Actually, I was more like
a cranky young man.

Anyway,
I was dating our food critic.

You had a food critic
on your radical newspaper?

Well, remember,
this was the '50s.

There wasn't all
that much to criticize.

Food and 3-D glasses
were about it.

Get on with it, Dick.

Well, I was really
crazy about this girl,
you know.

I mean, she was everything
I ever wanted,

and then she started dating
our faculty adviser.

I'm glad.

Well, I knew
I couldn't compete,
you know.

He was older,
wiser, more experienced.

But, I mean,
that didn't mean
I stopped fighting.

You know, I wanted her,
and I wanted to
let her know it.

Did you get her?

No. But...

I mean,
to this day I feel
better about myself

knowing that I tried.

I feel better knowing that

and that that wiser, older,
more experienced
professor is now

a 75-year-old geezer.

That's a great story, Dick.

Are you saying
I should go after Leslie?

What I'm saying
is that if you
really want Leslie,

then let her know it.

I mean,
what's the worst thing
she can say?

Guess what?
We're engaged.

I guess he can't wait
to tell everyone.

Morning, everybody.

Morning, honey.

Hi.

I love her.

I guess.

Okay, I'm ready.

Me, too.
Oh, that's right,
today is your walk.

Yeah.

Yeah, we have
a nice day for it, too.
It stopped snowing,

the thermometer's
shot up to 10.

This is going to be
good for both of us.

It's gonna put
color in our cheeks.

It's gonna make
us feel better.

We're gonna love it.

You're right.

All right,
let's get it over with.

I can't believe
I woke up this
morning engaged.

Neither can I.

Let's talk about
what kind of wedding
we're gonna have.

I had a thought
about that.
Uh-huh.

Now it's all assuming
you agree, of course,

but picture this.

You and I,
and a party of, say, 700,

are married at dusk
in the shadow

of the great
Pyramid of Cheops.

You're joking.

No, I'm seriously
thinking about it.

Blake, come on.

Honey, this is our wedding.

Don't you want to make it
a day to remember?

I think I'm gonna
remember our wedding,
no matter where it happens.

But it ties in so great
with the honeymoon.

What's the honeymoon?

All right,
now it's just a thought,
but we take a cruise.

I like that.

In a reed boat
across the Atlantic,
you, me and Thor Heyerdahl.

Blake!

What?

It's great.
Nobody has ever
done that before.

Not even Thor Heyerdahl.

Blake,
what's the matter with you?

Why can't our
just getting married
be enough?

What's wrong with making it
a little exciting?

I mean,
what do you want, honey?

Family and friends
in some rinky-dink chapel,

followed by a week
in Niagara Falls?

I think that
sounds charming.

Niagara Falls?
I go there to be bored.

You'll never change,
will you?

What are you talking about?

Why do you want
to marry me?

Why do I want
to marry you?

I want to marry you
because... Because...

Because I've
always been something
you couldn't have.

And now that I've agreed,
you're looking

for something
else you can't have.

All I'm looking for
is a little adventure.

You're looking for
things that will kill us.

Gee, Leslie,
I was all pumped up
about this.

Now what do we do?

I'll tell you what
I think we should do.

I think that you
should go to Egypt
and check out the pyramids,

and I'll stay here
and finish school.

And maybe in a few years,
we'll get together again.

Let me see if I
understand this.

You're dumping me.

Yeah.

Now I want you even more.

Blake.

Leslie, what did you expect?

That I would
walk out that door
and forget about you?

If I have to,
I'll come back here
and win you all over again.

In fact,
that sounds even better.

That's what I'll do.

I'll come back
and win you again!

Oh, God,
this is gonna be great.

Well, I understand
congratulations
are in order.

They were last night.

Congratulations.

They're not this morning.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, that's okay.
We're still friends.

Then congratulations.

Thanks, George.

Back already?
Ten degrees is a lot
colder than it looks.

How far did you get?

How far is the end
of the driveway?

I'd say 80 feet.

Then we went 40.

Well, the main thing
is we did get out.

Yeah, if we keep this up,
in a week or two

we should be able
to get our mail.

Have you two heard
about Blake and Leslie?

Yes, isn't it wonderful?

Well, I guess it is.

Blake and I aren't
getting married after all.

What?

Oh, no,
that's terrible.

See, that's what I thought.

We both thought it
over this morning,

and we decided that
it would be better

if we just waited
a little longer.

Or maybe a lot longer.

Oh, Leslie,
I'm so sorry.

No, it's fine, really.

Look, I know this has
gotta be rough, Leslie,

so, you know,
if you want to be alone

or take the rest
of the day off...

It's okay, Dick.

I mean,
breaking up was my idea.

I think I'll feel better
if I could just
keep on working.

I'll start breakfast.

I'll help you.

If you love something,
let it go.

If it was meant to be,
it'll come back to you.

Thank you, George.

Makes me feel
a lot better.

I read that on a tree.

Well, I did it.

Did what?
Got engaged to
a woman I don't love.

What are you
talking about, Kirk?

I took your advice,
I got even.

I never said get even.

Well, whatever you said.

I went out last night
and started proposing

until I found a woman
who would marry me.

What kind of
woman would marry
a stranger off the street?

Not tops.

Leslie broke her
engagement with Blake.

Can I use your phone?

Sure.

Hello, Dora.
This is Sparky.

Listen, I know it's early,
but I wanted to catch you

before your truck
pulled out.

Well, I can certainly
understand you
feeling that way,

and if I'm ever
really down on myself,

who knows,
maybe I'll give that a try.

No, you take care.

Well, Dick,
lead me to Leslie.

I'm ready to
pledge my troth.

I think she wants
to be alone, Kirk.

Hmm. Right.

You know what
I think I'll do?
I'll go into town,

I'll order some flowers
and have them delivered

with a little card
that says,

"Whatever happened,
you've still got a friend."

That would be classy.
Thanks.

If you want to split this,
I could have it
say "friends."

No.