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1
00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:56,455
Milkman!
2
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,361
That's just a little joke.
3
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:05,063
A real good one,
Mr. Tilford.
4
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:07,766
Yeah.
Well, there's your milk.
5
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,504
Oh, look at this.
6
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,878
It's just research material.
7
00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:23,348
I'm starting a new series
on American travel books.
8
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,717
You mean like
Amazing Arkansas.
9
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:30,021
You know my work.
10
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,690
Yeah. I picked up
a copy of that
11
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:34,159
down at Stedman's bookstore
just the other day.
12
00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:38,029
Really? How'd you like it?
Yeah.
13
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:41,866
Well, Mr. Stedman had to sign
for a certified letter.
14
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,635
We needed something
hard for him to write on,
15
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,704
so we used your book.
16
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,708
I liked it fine.
17
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,110
Good.
18
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:56,881
Thanks. Oh, look at this.
19
00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:06,024
It's photographs
for my new book.
20
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:07,859
I'm still at the title stage.
21
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:12,030
I'm thinking of calling it
Captivating Kansas.
22
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:18,437
Or maybe Colossal Kansas.
23
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,773
Why not just Boring Kansas?
24
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,809
Well, see, that's why
I'm writing the book.
25
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,211
'Cause I think
Kansas can be
26
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:31,550
just as
captivating and colossal
as Arkansas can be amazing.
27
00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:35,420
Look at this.
The eloquent symbol
of the American heartland,
28
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,122
the old red barn.
29
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,626
And this one.
30
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,394
Mmm. The old brown cow.
31
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,898
You're having fun
with me, aren't you?
32
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,733
Maybe. Maybe not.
33
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:52,804
I'd say you got your
work cut out for you.
34
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:58,710
The mail came, huh?
Anything special?
35
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:01,012
My research stuff on Kansas.
36
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:03,282
You mean,
Captivating Kansas?
37
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,651
Maybe. Maybe not.
38
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,055
Oh, Dick, you know
you're always worried
when you start a project.
39
00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:11,790
It doesn't take long
before you're into it
40
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,026
and you're just brimming
with enthusiasm.
41
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,760
Yahoo!
42
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,297
Don't force it, honey.
43
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:20,098
Just let it come naturally.
44
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:23,735
No, a few weeks ago,
I mailed off
an enquiry to have
45
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,038
the Stratford declared
a historical landmark.
46
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:29,174
You know, just on a whim,
and apparently
I impressed them.
47
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,410
They're gonna send
some inspectors next week
48
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:32,611
to see if we qualify.
49
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:33,945
Well, that's wonderful.
50
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,180
Yeah.
It's like a whim come true.
51
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,185
Gee, it'd be great
if we did qualify,
52
00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:42,921
but to me
an historic landmark is
someplace important.
53
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:45,924
You know, like the Alamo.
54
00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:48,327
Well, the rules state,
a landmark is a structure
55
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,962
that is architecturally
or historically unique.
56
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,530
Nowhere in the rules
does it say
57
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:55,466
that Davy Crockett
had to die in it.
58
00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:58,736
You're saying
we're historically
and architecturally unique?
59
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,272
I'm not saying it,
we are.
60
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,773
And I'm sure
the inspectors will agree.
61
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,541
What inspectors?
62
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:04,976
The ones that are
coming to see
63
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:06,644
if we qualify as
a historic landmark.
64
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,112
Really?
What an honor.
65
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,147
You know, that's very rare
and very unusual.
66
00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:12,417
They give you a plaque
to commemorate that
and everything.
67
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:13,685
How do you know that?
68
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,187
My family's home in
Rhode Island has one.
69
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,155
Oh, how did it qualify?
70
00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:20,091
It's my family's home.
71
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,832
(TYPING)
72
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,568
(PAPER RUSTLING)
73
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,175
Boy, it sounds
like you've really been
working hard in there.
74
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:38,677
Well, I figured
I better get started.
75
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,545
How does this sound?
76
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,981
"Behold a tribute
to the indomitable
77
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:45,349
"and creative spirit
of man, the builder."
78
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:51,189
That sounds impressive,
but what's it got
to do with Kansas?
79
00:04:51,257 --> 00:04:55,359
Nothing.
It's the inscription
for our plaque.
80
00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:56,995
Honey, I know you're
excited about this,
81
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:58,597
but the inspectors
aren't even here yet,
82
00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:01,299
and the deadline for your book
is just a few weeks away.
83
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:03,768
So I'll miss the deadline.
84
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,136
What's the worst
that could happen?
85
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,537
They could cancel
your contract.
86
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:07,872
You'll never work again.
87
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,440
You'll start to drink,
88
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:12,210
probably end up on skid row
with a bottle of wine
89
00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:15,179
and a two-bit bimbo.
90
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,248
It's all right with me,
but would you be happy?
91
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:21,653
They didn't come yet,
did they?
92
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,087
Not till this afternoon.
93
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:26,090
Good. Help me hang this
over the hearth.
94
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,192
What is that, George?
95
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:30,228
It's a gun, Dick.
96
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,933
No, I know that.
Why do you have it?
97
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,168
I thought the inn would look
more authentic
98
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,370
with a musket
hanging over the hearth.
99
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,573
But that's exactly what
we don't wanna do.
100
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,041
I mean,
if the inspectors think
101
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:44,476
we're faking up the inn,
we're finished.
102
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,244
Look, I have
to write a book.
103
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:49,681
Just take that phony prop
back to wherever
you got it from.
104
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,284
I got it from the basement.
105
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,587
This used to hang
over the hearth.
106
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,430
Where's Dick?
Big secret.
His ears only.
107
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:06,765
He can't be disturbed.
108
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,633
Okay, I'll tell you.
109
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,002
I'm naming
a sandwich in honor
110
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,404
of the Stratford
becoming a landmark.
111
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:16,508
I'm calling it
"The Landmark."
112
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:18,944
Catchy.
113
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,646
How do you think
Dick would feel
114
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,483
about one
genuine oil lantern?
115
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,518
The same way he felt
about the musket.
116
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,520
You're supposed
to be working.
117
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,956
I know. But every
time I start writing
about Kansas,
118
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,592
it comes out plaques.
119
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:35,527
Great news, Dick.
In your honor,
120
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:38,029
I'm renaming our
grilled cheese sandwich
121
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:39,965
"The Landmark."
122
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,942
That's exactly the look
I was hoping to get.
123
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,210
Guys, don't you think
you're getting
124
00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:53,444
a little carried
away with this?
125
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:55,079
You bet. The Stratford
becoming a landmark
126
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:57,181
is about the biggest thing
that's ever happened
around here.
127
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,818
I don't mind telling you,
I'm gonna walk
a little taller.
128
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,322
Well, I don't think
it's gonna make that
big a difference.
129
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:05,456
Well, Joanna's right.
130
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:06,658
I mean,
nothing's gonna change.
131
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,092
We're still gonna be
the same people,
132
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:09,460
this is still gonna be
the same inn,
133
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,429
we're just
gonna have a plaque
over the door
134
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:14,332
that says we're better
than everybody else.
135
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,869
That's assuming
we're approved.
136
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,704
We're going to be approved.
137
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,539
All I'm saying is
if we aren't approved,
138
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,408
it's not
the end of the world.
139
00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:25,976
See, that's
the sort of thing you say
to prepare someone
140
00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:27,845
who's not going
to be approved.
141
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:31,216
Are you saying
we're not going to be
declared a landmark?
142
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,018
Is that what
you're trying to say?
143
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,787
Well... No.
144
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:39,156
I'm just saying
that whether we're
approved or not,
145
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,092
you can't let it
consume your lives.
146
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,227
You know,
she's right.
147
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,728
I mean,
time can't stop
148
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:46,231
to wait for a bunch of
inspectors to get here.
149
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,165
I mean, George,
I know you have work to do.
150
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:49,601
Kirk, you have
a cafe to run.
151
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,869
I think we should all just do
what we have to do.
152
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,871
Good. Where are you going?
153
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:57,308
I'm going to
wait in the driveway
for the inspectors.
154
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:07,819
Oh, George,
how's it going?
155
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:10,155
I'm a little hurt.
156
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,690
What's the matter?
157
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,160
Dick's out there
with the inspectors.
158
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:19,030
He told them the back fence
hadn't been painted
in 200 years.
159
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:23,101
So?
160
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,602
Well, who do you think
they're gonna blame?
161
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:28,273
It's not fair.
It's only been 30 years.
162
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:30,475
I don't know
who didn't paint it
before that.
163
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:31,876
Some layabout.
164
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:34,879
George, that wasn't
a reflection on you.
165
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,214
Dick just wants
to impress them
166
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,183
with how authentic
everything is.
167
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,918
I just hope he's not
laying it on too thick.
168
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:44,990
Welcome to
the 18th century.
169
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:49,194
This is my wife, Joanna.
Hello.
170
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,495
Mr. Kenwood.
Hello.
171
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:51,629
And Ms. Fletcher.
How do you do?
172
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:52,864
So nice to meet you.
173
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:55,533
And of course,
I can't forget
our caretaker, George.
174
00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:56,701
Hello.
175
00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:58,003
How you doing?
176
00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,270
I'm a little hurt.
177
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:07,612
Well, I think the inn
can speak for itself.
178
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,214
You don't need me
to point out
179
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:10,781
the meticulous
adherence to detail,
180
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:13,784
the classic colonial design.
181
00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:16,554
I'm sorry,
it's just a great inn.
182
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:17,922
It certainly is.
183
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,224
Write it down.
184
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,736
Mahogany staircase.
185
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:43,681
Solid.
186
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,422
Look up.
187
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:58,363
Crown moldings,
incredible craftsmanship,
188
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:02,700
every detail hand-tooled.
189
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,935
Dick, take it easy.
190
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:07,138
You're right.
All right, no more talking.
191
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,472
Good.
192
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:13,077
(WHISTLING YANKEE DOODLE)
193
00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:17,681
(WHISTLING HALTINGLY)
194
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,120
(QUICKLY WHISTLING
END OF TUNE)
195
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,057
I'm sorry. I'm proud.
196
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,126
I love this place, and...
197
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,828
I know it's clearly
landmark caliber
if only for the fact
198
00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:32,297
that James Madison
once stayed here.
199
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,697
No.
200
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,101
I beg your pardon?
201
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,869
Madison never stayed here.
202
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:41,872
Yes, he did.
203
00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,041
No, he didn't.
204
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,711
Yes, he did.
205
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:49,914
Mr. Loudon,
history tells us
206
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:52,883
that Madison never
went further north
than New York.
207
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,685
History is wrong.
208
00:10:56,756 --> 00:11:00,491
Mr. Loudon, trust us.
He was never here.
209
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,160
Well, he missed
a great place.
210
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:07,531
The stone in
the natural fireplace
is from the quarry.
211
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,300
It was built...
212
00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:13,338
I'm acting like a jerk.
213
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,573
Honey,
you just have to relax.
214
00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:18,242
I know, I just...
I want it so much.
215
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,278
But, Dick,
those inspectors
are professionals.
216
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,813
Now, they're not going
to disqualify the inn
217
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,247
just because
you're a jerk.
218
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:28,687
Mr. Loudon.
219
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:31,022
Oh. I almost forgot
you were here.
220
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,159
We can't thank you
enough for bringing
221
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,960
this beautiful inn
to our attention.
222
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,762
You must be
very proud of it.
223
00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:41,532
It's very lovely,
very charming,
very authentic.
224
00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:44,135
It's a shame
it's so ordinary.
225
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:47,872
What?
226
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,074
Mr. Loudon,
as you know,
227
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,509
New England boasts
hundreds of colonial inns,
228
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,745
of which this is
a shining example.
229
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:57,381
However, it lacks some
special outstanding quality
230
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,184
that would raise
it above the rest.
231
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:02,120
It's a beautiful inn.
It's just not unique.
232
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:03,922
But that doesn't mean
233
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:08,493
that it can't still be
deeply treasured
and richly appreciated.
234
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:09,828
It's a jewel.
235
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,128
God bless you.
236
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:17,569
Thank you for your kind words
and your time.
237
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,136
Naturally,
we're a little disappointed,
238
00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:20,939
but we both
appreciate your integrity
239
00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:22,707
and your commitment
to your work.
240
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:25,410
And we feel ourselves honored
just to have been considered.
241
00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:26,977
Right, Dick?
242
00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:28,513
Get out.
243
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,497
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
244
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,371
Dick?
245
00:12:57,711 --> 00:13:01,579
Dick? Dick?
246
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:02,780
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
247
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:04,848
I didn't hear you.
I was working.
248
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:07,518
You're watching television.
249
00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:09,287
I'm taking a break.
250
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,988
It's my favorite program.
251
00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:15,993
(THE BOB NEWHART SHOW
THEME PLAYING)
252
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:32,710
Your favorite
program is reruns?
253
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:35,380
Dick, you know,
I'm getting a little
concerned about you.
254
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:38,716
Now, I know you're
upset about this place
not becoming a landmark,
255
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:41,919
but it's been a week now
and something's not right.
256
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,655
I don't know
what you mean.
257
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:46,123
I mean you're not writing.
258
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,793
I'm writing.
259
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:51,062
"Kansas is our 34th state."
260
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,666
Are you saying it's not?
261
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:57,802
You won't admit
you're depressed,
will you?
262
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,270
I'm fine.
263
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:02,139
I mean, all writers
have little dry periods.
264
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,641
I mean, I can't see
that I'm behaving
265
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,910
any differently
than I ever have.
266
00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:07,311
You haven't shaved.
267
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,780
I haven't shaved, yet.
268
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:11,782
And how come
all of a sudden
269
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,784
you're spending the entire day
in your slippers?
270
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,287
I like my slippers.
271
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,821
You never liked them before.
272
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:20,625
When you were sick,
you refused to wear them.
273
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,193
I was a fool.
274
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,763
I mean, is that it?
275
00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:27,631
That's all you've got on me,
slippers and shaving?
276
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,135
No. Dick,
ever since we moved here,
277
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,037
the first thing that
you do every morning
278
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,373
is race outside
to look at your inn.
279
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:38,642
You touch the walls lovingly,
you'd smell the flowers
in the garden.
280
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,078
I even saw you hug a tree.
281
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,849
Now, suddenly that's over.
282
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:47,952
It's like you blame the inn
for not being a landmark.
283
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,520
Joanna,
it would be ridiculous
284
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,188
to blame the inn,
and I don't.
285
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:52,256
It's just...
286
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,126
I don't like it anymore.
287
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:57,862
What?
288
00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:00,832
Well, I wanna like it
but I don't.
289
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,001
It's like when I was
six years old,
290
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,804
my folks promised
to take me to the circus.
291
00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,305
And they got me
real excited, you know.
292
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:09,974
They told me
about the clowns
293
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:13,210
and the jugglers
and the trapeze artists
and the trained tigers,
294
00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:14,779
until I couldn't wait.
295
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:16,681
And when we got there,
it was wonderful.
296
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,349
Except for one thing.
297
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,351
There were no trained tigers.
298
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,187
They were dropped
because they'd
eaten the trainer.
299
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,760
I was crushed.
I felt cheated.
300
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,495
The whole drive home
I kept saying,
301
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,597
"I want tigers!
I want tigers!"
302
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:36,467
Until my dad threatened
to feed me to the tigers.
303
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:39,370
See, no matter how great
everything else was,
304
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:43,974
the evening was ruined
because there were no
tigers at the circus.
305
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,010
That was a pretty
childish attitude.
306
00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:47,712
I was a child.
307
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:52,417
Okay, but you're acting
the same way now.
308
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,719
You're turning your back
on this beautiful inn
309
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,421
just because
it's not a landmark.
310
00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:59,723
I know. I can't help it.
311
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,326
I mean,
that's the way I feel.
312
00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,095
And maybe I'll get over it.
313
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:05,829
I mean,
I got over the circus.
314
00:16:05,899 --> 00:16:08,632
I don't know.
You're still talking about it.
315
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,202
You're right.
I'm doomed.
316
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,670
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
317
00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:14,471
Go away! I'm doomed.
318
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:17,574
Yes, Leslie?
319
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,276
A couple just came in.
They'd like a room.
320
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:21,212
Oh, good.
321
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,847
You take care of it, Joanna.
I'm busy.
322
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,982
No, Dick. I think you
should take care of it.
323
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:27,051
I think it would
be good for you.
324
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,686
Fine, and when
I'm through,
325
00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:32,556
you can take me outside
and sit me in the sun.
326
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:36,894
Where are they?
They're right there.
327
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:39,063
Hi. We'd like a room.
328
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,598
Hey. 25 bucks.
329
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:43,901
It's a beautiful inn.
330
00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:46,270
In that case, 35 bucks.
331
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:47,404
Is this with a bath?
332
00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,539
We have rooms.
We have rooms with a bath.
333
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:50,674
Just tell me
what you want.
334
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,176
With a bath.
335
00:16:52,244 --> 00:16:53,610
45 bucks.
336
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:57,214
Excuse me,
how old is this inn?
337
00:16:57,283 --> 00:17:00,384
Old. Inns are old.
338
00:17:00,452 --> 00:17:02,452
There certainly are
some beautiful ones
around here.
339
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,855
Oh, there are
some spectacular inns
around here,
340
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:07,892
inns that would
make our place look
like an outhouse.
341
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,960
Unfortunately,
you're staying here.
342
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,962
Dick!
343
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,165
Hello.
What is going on out here?
344
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:15,632
Nothing.
These people are
trying to tell me
345
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:16,867
what a nice place this is
346
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,302
when I know
it's a dung heap!
347
00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,013
No, I'm not really worried.
348
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,515
It's just that he's never done
anything like this before.
349
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,250
So if he stops by
the Minuteman Cafe,
350
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:35,419
would you
let me know, Kirk?
351
00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:38,155
Okay, thanks.
I appreciate it. Bye.
352
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,425
Oh, Leslie,
have you seen Dick?
353
00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:44,195
Not since he
insulted the guests
this morning. Why?
354
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:46,864
Well, I don't understand it.
He's been gone all afternoon.
355
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,365
You know,
this isn't like him.
356
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:49,633
He didn't say
where he was going.
357
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:52,069
It's just not like him
to do something like this.
358
00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:53,704
You're right.
That is odd.
359
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:58,142
Well, I drove all over town,
and I can't find him.
360
00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,576
Thanks for trying, George.
361
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:04,615
I did find that button
he lost off his jacket.
362
00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:06,183
Boy, you really did look,
didn't you?
363
00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:10,320
It was on the front seat
of my truck.
364
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:11,922
This is all my fault.
365
00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:14,324
It was just a button.
366
00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:15,592
No, no, George.
367
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,762
I mean, it's my fault
that he's missing.
368
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:20,397
He was devastated
when this place
wasn't made a landmark,
369
00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:21,665
and I just ignored it.
370
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:24,135
Oh, Joanna,
don't blame yourself.
371
00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:25,636
How could you have known?
372
00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:27,671
See, that's just it.
I should've known.
373
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,673
He told me this whole story
about the circus
374
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:32,042
and how disappointed
he was one time.
375
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,845
I should've
seen how important
the connection was.
376
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:37,080
Dick's a very complex man.
377
00:18:37,149 --> 00:18:39,850
That may be,
but he's also
a very rational man.
378
00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:41,552
What's the worst
that could happen?
379
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,086
He could never come back.
380
00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:47,190
Look, I know this is hard,
381
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,925
but I think the best thing
we can do right now
382
00:18:48,994 --> 00:18:50,594
is just sit tight
and stay calm.
383
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,863
Right.
Right.
384
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,467
Have you called
the hospitals?
385
00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:58,168
Kirk!
386
00:18:58,237 --> 00:19:00,170
We're trying to stay calm.
387
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:01,338
Boy, it's something,
isn't it?
388
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:03,440
You think you know a guy
and then one day, boom!
389
00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:06,343
He disappears
in his slippers.
390
00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:07,978
And I didn't do
anything to stop him.
391
00:19:08,046 --> 00:19:09,980
It's not only you, Joanna.
392
00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:12,949
I saw that he was depressed,
and I didn't do
anything either.
393
00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:16,953
I knew I should've
painted that fence.
394
00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:20,591
I guess I'm the only one
without blame.
395
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,226
I just wish I could do
something to help him.
396
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:26,397
I know one thing.
When a problem's
this deep-rooted,
397
00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:28,332
there's no easy answer.
398
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:31,769
God, you're wise
and cute.
399
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,405
All I know is,
I would give
anything in the world
400
00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:36,540
if I could just hear
his car pulling
into that driveway,
401
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:37,775
right now.
402
00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:41,578
(CAR ENGINE RUNNING)
403
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,180
Joanna.
What?
404
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:45,649
I think that's
the sound of his car
pulling into the driveway.
405
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:47,518
He's back!
He's back! Dick!
406
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:48,852
KIRK: Dick's back.
LESLIE: I don't know.
407
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,153
KIRK: He's back.
408
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:51,822
JOANNA: Oh, honey.
409
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:54,658
KIRK: Yeah.
GEORGE: That's his car.
410
00:19:56,462 --> 00:20:00,164
Honey? Joanna?
411
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:02,733
There he is!
412
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,001
Dick, freeze!
413
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,036
Oh, Dick, honey!
414
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:11,175
How long was I gone?
415
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,577
We have been out of our minds
worrying about you.
416
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,213
You scared us to death.
Thank God I was here.
417
00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:19,784
I'm sorry.
418
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:20,951
No, no, no. I'm sorry.
419
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,719
I'm sorry for not
listening to you,
420
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,454
for not being there
when you needed me.
421
00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:26,323
I'm sorry for everything.
422
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,159
But where the hell were you?
423
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:32,096
Well, I felt I needed
to get away
424
00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:34,665
and find a place to be
alone with my thoughts.
425
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:35,900
You won't believe this.
426
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,067
I found this great place.
427
00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:40,004
It's this hill
just outside of town
428
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,873
where you can
just sit and think.
429
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,475
I don't know if you know
where I'm talking about.
430
00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:48,045
You're talking
about Thinking Hill.
431
00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:58,222
Anyway, I was sitting there
and thinking.
432
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:01,392
I mean,
to tell you how badly I felt,
433
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:03,628
I considered doing
something drastic.
434
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,195
Not jumping.
435
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:07,265
No, not jumping.
I'm not crazy.
436
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,267
Tell them.
437
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:14,237
You said you almost did
something drastic.
438
00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:19,043
Well, I thought
about selling the inn.
439
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:22,880
I mean,
it was making me miserable,
so why not unload it?
440
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,414
And then I...
441
00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:29,252
I saw this sort of vision.
442
00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:31,922
We may be standing
on hallowed ground.
443
00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:37,094
I looked out
and in the distance
I saw this place.
444
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:40,097
It was perfect
in every way.
445
00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:43,567
The kind of place
I'd always wanted to have.
446
00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:47,271
And then I realized
that it wasn't a vision.
447
00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:51,609
It was this place.
I mean, a home.
448
00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:54,077
The place that I had
lost my taste for
449
00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,647
because it wasn't
a landmark.
450
00:21:56,715 --> 00:22:00,151
And then suddenly
it hit me,
451
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:02,553
the answer to
my whole problem.
452
00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:05,456
So what?
453
00:22:06,626 --> 00:22:08,359
What do you mean,
"So what?"
454
00:22:08,427 --> 00:22:10,561
I think it's great
it came to you.
455
00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:14,064
No, what came to
me was, "So what?"
456
00:22:15,934 --> 00:22:18,435
Come on, make sense, Dick.
457
00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:23,641
Well, it's that simple.
458
00:22:23,709 --> 00:22:27,344
I mean, I came up here
for a better life,
and I have it.
459
00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:31,915
I mean, it's not perfect,
but so what?
460
00:22:31,984 --> 00:22:36,187
The inn's not a landmark,
but so what?
461
00:22:36,255 --> 00:22:39,790
I mean, there were
no tigers at the circus,
so what?
462
00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:42,526
Can you see what I mean?
So what?
463
00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:45,496
That's some revelation, Dick.
464
00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:49,666
I'm sitting on
1,200 slices of Velveeta
and you're saying so what?
465
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:52,702
So long.
466
00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:57,574
Let me get this straight.
467
00:22:57,643 --> 00:23:02,112
You say the answer
to your problems
was "so what?"
468
00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:05,049
The answer to my problems
was letting go of
my disappointment
469
00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:08,419
and being happy with
my life the way it is.
470
00:23:08,488 --> 00:23:12,223
Good, 'cause I was worried
when you said, "So what?"
471
00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:14,958
I just want you to know
that I'm glad you're back.
472
00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:16,360
Thanks, Leslie.
473
00:23:16,429 --> 00:23:17,728
I'll start supper.
474
00:23:20,633 --> 00:23:23,734
Hey, Leslie.
Did you understand
that part about the tigers?
475
00:23:23,802 --> 00:23:24,868
No.
476
00:23:24,937 --> 00:23:25,936
Me either.
477
00:23:26,005 --> 00:23:27,505
But so what?
478
00:23:31,944 --> 00:23:33,977
Joanna, you understand
what I'm talking about.
479
00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:35,912
I think so.
480
00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:37,681
We all spend
too much time regretting
what we don't have,
481
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:40,851
and not enough time
enjoying what we do have.
482
00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:47,024
Exactly,
and what we have here
is a really keen inn.
483
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:49,860
Welcome home, honey.
484
00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:52,229
I'll help Leslie
with supper.
485
00:24:06,312 --> 00:24:07,645
Hi, how are you doing?
35671
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