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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:56,455 Milkman! 2 00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,361 That's just a little joke. 3 00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:05,063 A real good one, Mr. Tilford. 4 00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:07,766 Yeah. Well, there's your milk. 5 00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,504 Oh, look at this. 6 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,878 It's just research material. 7 00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:23,348 I'm starting a new series on American travel books. 8 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,717 You mean like Amazing Arkansas. 9 00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:30,021 You know my work. 10 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,690 Yeah. I picked up a copy of that 11 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:34,159 down at Stedman's bookstore just the other day. 12 00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:38,029 Really? How'd you like it? Yeah. 13 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:41,866 Well, Mr. Stedman had to sign for a certified letter. 14 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,635 We needed something hard for him to write on, 15 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,704 so we used your book. 16 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,708 I liked it fine. 17 00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,110 Good. 18 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:56,881 Thanks. Oh, look at this. 19 00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:06,024 It's photographs for my new book. 20 00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:07,859 I'm still at the title stage. 21 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:12,030 I'm thinking of calling it Captivating Kansas. 22 00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:18,437 Or maybe Colossal Kansas. 23 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,773 Why not just Boring Kansas? 24 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,809 Well, see, that's why I'm writing the book. 25 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,211 'Cause I think Kansas can be 26 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:31,550 just as captivating and colossal as Arkansas can be amazing. 27 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:35,420 Look at this. The eloquent symbol of the American heartland, 28 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,122 the old red barn. 29 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,626 And this one. 30 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,394 Mmm. The old brown cow. 31 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,898 You're having fun with me, aren't you? 32 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,733 Maybe. Maybe not. 33 00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:52,804 I'd say you got your work cut out for you. 34 00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:58,710 The mail came, huh? Anything special? 35 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:01,012 My research stuff on Kansas. 36 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:03,282 You mean, Captivating Kansas? 37 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,651 Maybe. Maybe not. 38 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,055 Oh, Dick, you know you're always worried when you start a project. 39 00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:11,790 It doesn't take long before you're into it 40 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,026 and you're just brimming with enthusiasm. 41 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,760 Yahoo! 42 00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,297 Don't force it, honey. 43 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:20,098 Just let it come naturally. 44 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:23,735 No, a few weeks ago, I mailed off an enquiry to have 45 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,038 the Stratford declared a historical landmark. 46 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:29,174 You know, just on a whim, and apparently I impressed them. 47 00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,410 They're gonna send some inspectors next week 48 00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:32,611 to see if we qualify. 49 00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:33,945 Well, that's wonderful. 50 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,180 Yeah. It's like a whim come true. 51 00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,185 Gee, it'd be great if we did qualify, 52 00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:42,921 but to me an historic landmark is someplace important. 53 00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:45,924 You know, like the Alamo. 54 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:48,327 Well, the rules state, a landmark is a structure 55 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,962 that is architecturally or historically unique. 56 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,530 Nowhere in the rules does it say 57 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:55,466 that Davy Crockett had to die in it. 58 00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:58,736 You're saying we're historically and architecturally unique? 59 00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,272 I'm not saying it, we are. 60 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,773 And I'm sure the inspectors will agree. 61 00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,541 What inspectors? 62 00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:04,976 The ones that are coming to see 63 00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:06,644 if we qualify as a historic landmark. 64 00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,112 Really? What an honor. 65 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,147 You know, that's very rare and very unusual. 66 00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:12,417 They give you a plaque to commemorate that and everything. 67 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:13,685 How do you know that? 68 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,187 My family's home in Rhode Island has one. 69 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,155 Oh, how did it qualify? 70 00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:20,091 It's my family's home. 71 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,832 (TYPING) 72 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,568 (PAPER RUSTLING) 73 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,175 Boy, it sounds like you've really been working hard in there. 74 00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:38,677 Well, I figured I better get started. 75 00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,545 How does this sound? 76 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,981 "Behold a tribute to the indomitable 77 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:45,349 "and creative spirit of man, the builder." 78 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:51,189 That sounds impressive, but what's it got to do with Kansas? 79 00:04:51,257 --> 00:04:55,359 Nothing. It's the inscription for our plaque. 80 00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:56,995 Honey, I know you're excited about this, 81 00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:58,597 but the inspectors aren't even here yet, 82 00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:01,299 and the deadline for your book is just a few weeks away. 83 00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:03,768 So I'll miss the deadline. 84 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,136 What's the worst that could happen? 85 00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,537 They could cancel your contract. 86 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:07,872 You'll never work again. 87 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,440 You'll start to drink, 88 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:12,210 probably end up on skid row with a bottle of wine 89 00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:15,179 and a two-bit bimbo. 90 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,248 It's all right with me, but would you be happy? 91 00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:21,653 They didn't come yet, did they? 92 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,087 Not till this afternoon. 93 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:26,090 Good. Help me hang this over the hearth. 94 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,192 What is that, George? 95 00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:30,228 It's a gun, Dick. 96 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,933 No, I know that. Why do you have it? 97 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,168 I thought the inn would look more authentic 98 00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,370 with a musket hanging over the hearth. 99 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,573 But that's exactly what we don't wanna do. 100 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,041 I mean, if the inspectors think 101 00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:44,476 we're faking up the inn, we're finished. 102 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,244 Look, I have to write a book. 103 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:49,681 Just take that phony prop back to wherever you got it from. 104 00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,284 I got it from the basement. 105 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,587 This used to hang over the hearth. 106 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,430 Where's Dick? Big secret. His ears only. 107 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:06,765 He can't be disturbed. 108 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,633 Okay, I'll tell you. 109 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,002 I'm naming a sandwich in honor 110 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,404 of the Stratford becoming a landmark. 111 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:16,508 I'm calling it "The Landmark." 112 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:18,944 Catchy. 113 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,646 How do you think Dick would feel 114 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,483 about one genuine oil lantern? 115 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,518 The same way he felt about the musket. 116 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,520 You're supposed to be working. 117 00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,956 I know. But every time I start writing about Kansas, 118 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,592 it comes out plaques. 119 00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:35,527 Great news, Dick. In your honor, 120 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:38,029 I'm renaming our grilled cheese sandwich 121 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:39,965 "The Landmark." 122 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,942 That's exactly the look I was hoping to get. 123 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,210 Guys, don't you think you're getting 124 00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:53,444 a little carried away with this? 125 00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:55,079 You bet. The Stratford becoming a landmark 126 00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:57,181 is about the biggest thing that's ever happened around here. 127 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,818 I don't mind telling you, I'm gonna walk a little taller. 128 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,322 Well, I don't think it's gonna make that big a difference. 129 00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:05,456 Well, Joanna's right. 130 00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:06,658 I mean, nothing's gonna change. 131 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,092 We're still gonna be the same people, 132 00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:09,460 this is still gonna be the same inn, 133 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,429 we're just gonna have a plaque over the door 134 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:14,332 that says we're better than everybody else. 135 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,869 That's assuming we're approved. 136 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,704 We're going to be approved. 137 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,539 All I'm saying is if we aren't approved, 138 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,408 it's not the end of the world. 139 00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:25,976 See, that's the sort of thing you say to prepare someone 140 00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:27,845 who's not going to be approved. 141 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:31,216 Are you saying we're not going to be declared a landmark? 142 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,018 Is that what you're trying to say? 143 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,787 Well... No. 144 00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:39,156 I'm just saying that whether we're approved or not, 145 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,092 you can't let it consume your lives. 146 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,227 You know, she's right. 147 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,728 I mean, time can't stop 148 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:46,231 to wait for a bunch of inspectors to get here. 149 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,165 I mean, George, I know you have work to do. 150 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:49,601 Kirk, you have a cafe to run. 151 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,869 I think we should all just do what we have to do. 152 00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,871 Good. Where are you going? 153 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:57,308 I'm going to wait in the driveway for the inspectors. 154 00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:07,819 Oh, George, how's it going? 155 00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:10,155 I'm a little hurt. 156 00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,690 What's the matter? 157 00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,160 Dick's out there with the inspectors. 158 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:19,030 He told them the back fence hadn't been painted in 200 years. 159 00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:23,101 So? 160 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,602 Well, who do you think they're gonna blame? 161 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:28,273 It's not fair. It's only been 30 years. 162 00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:30,475 I don't know who didn't paint it before that. 163 00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:31,876 Some layabout. 164 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:34,879 George, that wasn't a reflection on you. 165 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,214 Dick just wants to impress them 166 00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,183 with how authentic everything is. 167 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,918 I just hope he's not laying it on too thick. 168 00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:44,990 Welcome to the 18th century. 169 00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:49,194 This is my wife, Joanna. Hello. 170 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,495 Mr. Kenwood. Hello. 171 00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:51,629 And Ms. Fletcher. How do you do? 172 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:52,864 So nice to meet you. 173 00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:55,533 And of course, I can't forget our caretaker, George. 174 00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:56,701 Hello. 175 00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:58,003 How you doing? 176 00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,270 I'm a little hurt. 177 00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:07,612 Well, I think the inn can speak for itself. 178 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,214 You don't need me to point out 179 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:10,781 the meticulous adherence to detail, 180 00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:13,784 the classic colonial design. 181 00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:16,554 I'm sorry, it's just a great inn. 182 00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:17,922 It certainly is. 183 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,224 Write it down. 184 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,736 Mahogany staircase. 185 00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:43,681 Solid. 186 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,422 Look up. 187 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:58,363 Crown moldings, incredible craftsmanship, 188 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:02,700 every detail hand-tooled. 189 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,935 Dick, take it easy. 190 00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:07,138 You're right. All right, no more talking. 191 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,472 Good. 192 00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:13,077 (WHISTLING YANKEE DOODLE) 193 00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:17,681 (WHISTLING HALTINGLY) 194 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,120 (QUICKLY WHISTLING END OF TUNE) 195 00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,057 I'm sorry. I'm proud. 196 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,126 I love this place, and... 197 00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,828 I know it's clearly landmark caliber if only for the fact 198 00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:32,297 that James Madison once stayed here. 199 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,697 No. 200 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,101 I beg your pardon? 201 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,869 Madison never stayed here. 202 00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:41,872 Yes, he did. 203 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,041 No, he didn't. 204 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,711 Yes, he did. 205 00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:49,914 Mr. Loudon, history tells us 206 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:52,883 that Madison never went further north than New York. 207 00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,685 History is wrong. 208 00:10:56,756 --> 00:11:00,491 Mr. Loudon, trust us. He was never here. 209 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,160 Well, he missed a great place. 210 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:07,531 The stone in the natural fireplace is from the quarry. 211 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,300 It was built... 212 00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:13,338 I'm acting like a jerk. 213 00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,573 Honey, you just have to relax. 214 00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:18,242 I know, I just... I want it so much. 215 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,278 But, Dick, those inspectors are professionals. 216 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,813 Now, they're not going to disqualify the inn 217 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,247 just because you're a jerk. 218 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:28,687 Mr. Loudon. 219 00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:31,022 Oh. I almost forgot you were here. 220 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,159 We can't thank you enough for bringing 221 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,960 this beautiful inn to our attention. 222 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,762 You must be very proud of it. 223 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:41,532 It's very lovely, very charming, very authentic. 224 00:11:41,601 --> 00:11:44,135 It's a shame it's so ordinary. 225 00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:47,872 What? 226 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,074 Mr. Loudon, as you know, 227 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,509 New England boasts hundreds of colonial inns, 228 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,745 of which this is a shining example. 229 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:57,381 However, it lacks some special outstanding quality 230 00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,184 that would raise it above the rest. 231 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:02,120 It's a beautiful inn. It's just not unique. 232 00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:03,922 But that doesn't mean 233 00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:08,493 that it can't still be deeply treasured and richly appreciated. 234 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:09,828 It's a jewel. 235 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,128 God bless you. 236 00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:17,569 Thank you for your kind words and your time. 237 00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,136 Naturally, we're a little disappointed, 238 00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:20,939 but we both appreciate your integrity 239 00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:22,707 and your commitment to your work. 240 00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:25,410 And we feel ourselves honored just to have been considered. 241 00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:26,977 Right, Dick? 242 00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:28,513 Get out. 243 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,497 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 244 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,371 Dick? 245 00:12:57,711 --> 00:13:01,579 Dick? Dick? 246 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:02,780 Oh, I'm sorry, honey. 247 00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:04,848 I didn't hear you. I was working. 248 00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:07,518 You're watching television. 249 00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:09,287 I'm taking a break. 250 00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,988 It's my favorite program. 251 00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:15,993 (THE BOB NEWHART SHOW THEME PLAYING) 252 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:32,710 Your favorite program is reruns? 253 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:35,380 Dick, you know, I'm getting a little concerned about you. 254 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:38,716 Now, I know you're upset about this place not becoming a landmark, 255 00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:41,919 but it's been a week now and something's not right. 256 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,655 I don't know what you mean. 257 00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:46,123 I mean you're not writing. 258 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,793 I'm writing. 259 00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:51,062 "Kansas is our 34th state." 260 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,666 Are you saying it's not? 261 00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:57,802 You won't admit you're depressed, will you? 262 00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,270 I'm fine. 263 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:02,139 I mean, all writers have little dry periods. 264 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,641 I mean, I can't see that I'm behaving 265 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,910 any differently than I ever have. 266 00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:07,311 You haven't shaved. 267 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,780 I haven't shaved, yet. 268 00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:11,782 And how come all of a sudden 269 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,784 you're spending the entire day in your slippers? 270 00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,287 I like my slippers. 271 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,821 You never liked them before. 272 00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:20,625 When you were sick, you refused to wear them. 273 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,193 I was a fool. 274 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,763 I mean, is that it? 275 00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:27,631 That's all you've got on me, slippers and shaving? 276 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,135 No. Dick, ever since we moved here, 277 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,037 the first thing that you do every morning 278 00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,373 is race outside to look at your inn. 279 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:38,642 You touch the walls lovingly, you'd smell the flowers in the garden. 280 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,078 I even saw you hug a tree. 281 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,849 Now, suddenly that's over. 282 00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:47,952 It's like you blame the inn for not being a landmark. 283 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,520 Joanna, it would be ridiculous 284 00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,188 to blame the inn, and I don't. 285 00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:52,256 It's just... 286 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,126 I don't like it anymore. 287 00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:57,862 What? 288 00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:00,832 Well, I wanna like it but I don't. 289 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,001 It's like when I was six years old, 290 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,804 my folks promised to take me to the circus. 291 00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,305 And they got me real excited, you know. 292 00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:09,974 They told me about the clowns 293 00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:13,210 and the jugglers and the trapeze artists and the trained tigers, 294 00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:14,779 until I couldn't wait. 295 00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:16,681 And when we got there, it was wonderful. 296 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,349 Except for one thing. 297 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,351 There were no trained tigers. 298 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,187 They were dropped because they'd eaten the trainer. 299 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,760 I was crushed. I felt cheated. 300 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,495 The whole drive home I kept saying, 301 00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,597 "I want tigers! I want tigers!" 302 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:36,467 Until my dad threatened to feed me to the tigers. 303 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:39,370 See, no matter how great everything else was, 304 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:43,974 the evening was ruined because there were no tigers at the circus. 305 00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,010 That was a pretty childish attitude. 306 00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:47,712 I was a child. 307 00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:52,417 Okay, but you're acting the same way now. 308 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,719 You're turning your back on this beautiful inn 309 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,421 just because it's not a landmark. 310 00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:59,723 I know. I can't help it. 311 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,326 I mean, that's the way I feel. 312 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,095 And maybe I'll get over it. 313 00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:05,829 I mean, I got over the circus. 314 00:16:05,899 --> 00:16:08,632 I don't know. You're still talking about it. 315 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,202 You're right. I'm doomed. 316 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,670 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 317 00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:14,471 Go away! I'm doomed. 318 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:17,574 Yes, Leslie? 319 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,276 A couple just came in. They'd like a room. 320 00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:21,212 Oh, good. 321 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,847 You take care of it, Joanna. I'm busy. 322 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,982 No, Dick. I think you should take care of it. 323 00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:27,051 I think it would be good for you. 324 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,686 Fine, and when I'm through, 325 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:32,556 you can take me outside and sit me in the sun. 326 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:36,894 Where are they? They're right there. 327 00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:39,063 Hi. We'd like a room. 328 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,598 Hey. 25 bucks. 329 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:43,901 It's a beautiful inn. 330 00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:46,270 In that case, 35 bucks. 331 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:47,404 Is this with a bath? 332 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,539 We have rooms. We have rooms with a bath. 333 00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:50,674 Just tell me what you want. 334 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,176 With a bath. 335 00:16:52,244 --> 00:16:53,610 45 bucks. 336 00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:57,214 Excuse me, how old is this inn? 337 00:16:57,283 --> 00:17:00,384 Old. Inns are old. 338 00:17:00,452 --> 00:17:02,452 There certainly are some beautiful ones around here. 339 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,855 Oh, there are some spectacular inns around here, 340 00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:07,892 inns that would make our place look like an outhouse. 341 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,960 Unfortunately, you're staying here. 342 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,962 Dick! 343 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,165 Hello. What is going on out here? 344 00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:15,632 Nothing. These people are trying to tell me 345 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:16,867 what a nice place this is 346 00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,302 when I know it's a dung heap! 347 00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,013 No, I'm not really worried. 348 00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,515 It's just that he's never done anything like this before. 349 00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,250 So if he stops by the Minuteman Cafe, 350 00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:35,419 would you let me know, Kirk? 351 00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:38,155 Okay, thanks. I appreciate it. Bye. 352 00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,425 Oh, Leslie, have you seen Dick? 353 00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:44,195 Not since he insulted the guests this morning. Why? 354 00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:46,864 Well, I don't understand it. He's been gone all afternoon. 355 00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,365 You know, this isn't like him. 356 00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:49,633 He didn't say where he was going. 357 00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:52,069 It's just not like him to do something like this. 358 00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:53,704 You're right. That is odd. 359 00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:58,142 Well, I drove all over town, and I can't find him. 360 00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,576 Thanks for trying, George. 361 00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:04,615 I did find that button he lost off his jacket. 362 00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:06,183 Boy, you really did look, didn't you? 363 00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:10,320 It was on the front seat of my truck. 364 00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:11,922 This is all my fault. 365 00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:14,324 It was just a button. 366 00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:15,592 No, no, George. 367 00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,762 I mean, it's my fault that he's missing. 368 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:20,397 He was devastated when this place wasn't made a landmark, 369 00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:21,665 and I just ignored it. 370 00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:24,135 Oh, Joanna, don't blame yourself. 371 00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:25,636 How could you have known? 372 00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:27,671 See, that's just it. I should've known. 373 00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,673 He told me this whole story about the circus 374 00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:32,042 and how disappointed he was one time. 375 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,845 I should've seen how important the connection was. 376 00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:37,080 Dick's a very complex man. 377 00:18:37,149 --> 00:18:39,850 That may be, but he's also a very rational man. 378 00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:41,552 What's the worst that could happen? 379 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,086 He could never come back. 380 00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:47,190 Look, I know this is hard, 381 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,925 but I think the best thing we can do right now 382 00:18:48,994 --> 00:18:50,594 is just sit tight and stay calm. 383 00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,863 Right. Right. 384 00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,467 Have you called the hospitals? 385 00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:58,168 Kirk! 386 00:18:58,237 --> 00:19:00,170 We're trying to stay calm. 387 00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:01,338 Boy, it's something, isn't it? 388 00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:03,440 You think you know a guy and then one day, boom! 389 00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:06,343 He disappears in his slippers. 390 00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:07,978 And I didn't do anything to stop him. 391 00:19:08,046 --> 00:19:09,980 It's not only you, Joanna. 392 00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:12,949 I saw that he was depressed, and I didn't do anything either. 393 00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:16,953 I knew I should've painted that fence. 394 00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:20,591 I guess I'm the only one without blame. 395 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,226 I just wish I could do something to help him. 396 00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:26,397 I know one thing. When a problem's this deep-rooted, 397 00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:28,332 there's no easy answer. 398 00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:31,769 God, you're wise and cute. 399 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,405 All I know is, I would give anything in the world 400 00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:36,540 if I could just hear his car pulling into that driveway, 401 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:37,775 right now. 402 00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:41,578 (CAR ENGINE RUNNING) 403 00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,180 Joanna. What? 404 00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:45,649 I think that's the sound of his car pulling into the driveway. 405 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:47,518 He's back! He's back! Dick! 406 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:48,852 KIRK: Dick's back. LESLIE: I don't know. 407 00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,153 KIRK: He's back. 408 00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:51,822 JOANNA: Oh, honey. 409 00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:54,658 KIRK: Yeah. GEORGE: That's his car. 410 00:19:56,462 --> 00:20:00,164 Honey? Joanna? 411 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:02,733 There he is! 412 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,001 Dick, freeze! 413 00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,036 Oh, Dick, honey! 414 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:11,175 How long was I gone? 415 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,577 We have been out of our minds worrying about you. 416 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,213 You scared us to death. Thank God I was here. 417 00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:19,784 I'm sorry. 418 00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:20,951 No, no, no. I'm sorry. 419 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,719 I'm sorry for not listening to you, 420 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,454 for not being there when you needed me. 421 00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:26,323 I'm sorry for everything. 422 00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,159 But where the hell were you? 423 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:32,096 Well, I felt I needed to get away 424 00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:34,665 and find a place to be alone with my thoughts. 425 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:35,900 You won't believe this. 426 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,067 I found this great place. 427 00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:40,004 It's this hill just outside of town 428 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,873 where you can just sit and think. 429 00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,475 I don't know if you know where I'm talking about. 430 00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:48,045 You're talking about Thinking Hill. 431 00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:58,222 Anyway, I was sitting there and thinking. 432 00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:01,392 I mean, to tell you how badly I felt, 433 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:03,628 I considered doing something drastic. 434 00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,195 Not jumping. 435 00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:07,265 No, not jumping. I'm not crazy. 436 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,267 Tell them. 437 00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:14,237 You said you almost did something drastic. 438 00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:19,043 Well, I thought about selling the inn. 439 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:22,880 I mean, it was making me miserable, so why not unload it? 440 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,414 And then I... 441 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:29,252 I saw this sort of vision. 442 00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:31,922 We may be standing on hallowed ground. 443 00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:37,094 I looked out and in the distance I saw this place. 444 00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:40,097 It was perfect in every way. 445 00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:43,567 The kind of place I'd always wanted to have. 446 00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:47,271 And then I realized that it wasn't a vision. 447 00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:51,609 It was this place. I mean, a home. 448 00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:54,077 The place that I had lost my taste for 449 00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,647 because it wasn't a landmark. 450 00:21:56,715 --> 00:22:00,151 And then suddenly it hit me, 451 00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:02,553 the answer to my whole problem. 452 00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:05,456 So what? 453 00:22:06,626 --> 00:22:08,359 What do you mean, "So what?" 454 00:22:08,427 --> 00:22:10,561 I think it's great it came to you. 455 00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:14,064 No, what came to me was, "So what?" 456 00:22:15,934 --> 00:22:18,435 Come on, make sense, Dick. 457 00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:23,641 Well, it's that simple. 458 00:22:23,709 --> 00:22:27,344 I mean, I came up here for a better life, and I have it. 459 00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:31,915 I mean, it's not perfect, but so what? 460 00:22:31,984 --> 00:22:36,187 The inn's not a landmark, but so what? 461 00:22:36,255 --> 00:22:39,790 I mean, there were no tigers at the circus, so what? 462 00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:42,526 Can you see what I mean? So what? 463 00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:45,496 That's some revelation, Dick. 464 00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:49,666 I'm sitting on 1,200 slices of Velveeta and you're saying so what? 465 00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:52,702 So long. 466 00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:57,574 Let me get this straight. 467 00:22:57,643 --> 00:23:02,112 You say the answer to your problems was "so what?" 468 00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:05,049 The answer to my problems was letting go of my disappointment 469 00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:08,419 and being happy with my life the way it is. 470 00:23:08,488 --> 00:23:12,223 Good, 'cause I was worried when you said, "So what?" 471 00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:14,958 I just want you to know that I'm glad you're back. 472 00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:16,360 Thanks, Leslie. 473 00:23:16,429 --> 00:23:17,728 I'll start supper. 474 00:23:20,633 --> 00:23:23,734 Hey, Leslie. Did you understand that part about the tigers? 475 00:23:23,802 --> 00:23:24,868 No. 476 00:23:24,937 --> 00:23:25,936 Me either. 477 00:23:26,005 --> 00:23:27,505 But so what? 478 00:23:31,944 --> 00:23:33,977 Joanna, you understand what I'm talking about. 479 00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:35,912 I think so. 480 00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:37,681 We all spend too much time regretting what we don't have, 481 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:40,851 and not enough time enjoying what we do have. 482 00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:47,024 Exactly, and what we have here is a really keen inn. 483 00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:49,860 Welcome home, honey. 484 00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:52,229 I'll help Leslie with supper. 485 00:24:06,312 --> 00:24:07,645 Hi, how are you doing? 35671

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