All language subtitles for Newhart - S01E03

Hello.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello.

(SIGHS)

George Utley,
how nice to see you.

How do, Miss Wanamaker?

You're looking lovely,
as usual.

Oh, George,
you probably say that
to everyone.

Just about.

Looks like you're out
with the welcome basket.

(CHUCKLES) That's right.

I understand
we have new neighbors.

Really? Who?

Mr. and Mrs. Loudon.

Oh, the people I work for.

You know,
they bought this place.

I know.
I came over to meet them.

Is that for them?

When I finally meet them.

Are Mr. and Mrs. Loudon here?

Yeah, well,
Mr. Loudon's gone into town,

but Mrs. Loudon is upstairs.
I'll go get her.

Oh, George, before you do,

could you tell me
a little more about them?

Let's see.
I know they're from New York,

they have no children,

Mr. Loudon is a writer
of informational books

and they moved up here
to Vermont to restore the inn.

But what else can
you tell me about them?

I couldn't have
told you that much.

Well, what about
Mrs. Loudon, is she nice?

Very, yeah,
and pretty and cheerful.

I think that's what
I like best about her.

She's pretty and cheerful.

You'd think you could
get the stupid bucket
to stay on the stupid ladder.

Jeez.
That's her.

Oh. Hi.

I'm Mrs. Wanamaker,
your welcome basket lady.

Oh, dear.
I'm Joanna Loudon.

Please forgive
the way I look,

but we've got
guests checking in,

and I've been painting
the room.

Do you need any help?

You mean painting?

Why, yes. I could run
right home and get a brush.

Well, no,
but thank you for the offer.

Boy, when you say
welcome in Vermont,
you really mean it.

This is from
the chamber of commerce.

Oh, isn't that beautiful?
Thank you. George...

You want me to
open that for you?

No, I was wondering
if you could go upstairs
and fix the ladder.

Oh, okay. I can open
the basket later.

That's okay.
I'll open it.

Well, it's your basket.

This is so nice.
Won't you sit down?

You know, we are
really enjoying it here.

My husband, particularly,
is thriving on the change.

I wish this town
would figure out
this is the 20th century.

Honey. Honey.

Do you know I almost
ran into another car
right at the intersection

because they didn't
put a stupid stop sign
at the stupid intersection?

(JOANNA CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Oh, hi.

Dick, this is Mrs. Wanamaker
from the welcome basket.

She just brought us
this nice basket of fruit,

and I was just telling her
how much you and I are
enjoying ourselves in Vermont.

Right. Right.

Except for
that stupid intersection,
we just love it.

I think you're right
about that stop sign.

I'd be glad to
help you put one up.

Are you with
the traffic commission?

Oh, no.
I meant if you got one,

I could hold it
while you hammered it
into the ground.

That's very generous of you.
Yes.

You know who could really help
with that stop sign,
is my husband.

He's on the town council.

He'd know who to
talk to about this.

Great.

I'll have him call you.

It'll take me
about 10 minutes
to run home.

I'll call him
the minute I get in the door.

He can take an early lunch
and call you in 15 minutes.

It really doesn't have to be
that fast.

Give her credit.
She certainly throws
her heart into her work.

I'm surprised she didn't
bring a red carpet.

Yeah.

If you can unroll
this yourselves,

I can have him
call you in 12 minutes.

(IN SINGSONG VOICE)
Hi, Leslie.

Hi, Kirk.

I see Dick's got you
cleaning up after him.

It's my job, Kirk.
I'm the maid.

Right. Where's Dick?

Outside talking to some men
about a stop sign
for the corner.

He almost had
an accident this morning.

I wonder how many times
I've begged them
to put a stop sign out there.

Well, Dick's talking
to the road commissioner.

Maybe you should
go out and join them.

And just imagine what
the road commissioner
would think

if he saw me coming.

The man who's
been hounding him?
Mr. Safety Fanatic?

Kirk, you really
haven't been hounding

the road commissioner,
have you?

No.

Hey, you don't have to lie
to make me like you.

God, you're good for me.

Hi, Leslie.
Your study's all dusted.

Oh, good.
Hi, Dick.

Hi, Kirk.
Hi, men.

I got to get back to my cafe
before I'm swamped
by hungry townsfolk.

I just dropped by
because I heard you had
an accident this morning

and I wanted to make sure
you were all right.

It wasn't an accident,
and I'm fine.

Well, my heart has
stopped pounding.

You're a good neighbor, Kirk.

Good neighbor working
on being a great one.

Bye, men.

I'm sorry,
you know Kirk?

Yeah, we do.

Good, then I don't
have to explain.

Mr. Loudon, I appreciate
your calling that intersection
to our attention.

Well, I appreciate your
coming over so quickly.

And, Mr. Wanamaker,
I appreciate your taking off
the whole day from work.

You and your wife have
really been wonderful.

I've never seen such
dedication to a welcome basket
in my entire life.

As Road Commissioner,
I'm prepared to recommend
a stop sign

for that corner to
the town council.

Well, if you let me
know when that is,
I'd like to be there.

That shows
civic conscience, Dick.

I guess what
impressed us is

that you not only recognized
that a problem existed,

you offered a solution.

That shows vision, Dick.

We could use a man like you
on the town council.

Really?

We'd like you to consider
becoming a councilman.

You don't think I should wait
until I've lived in
town a little longer?

Say, a whole month?

Well, even though you're new,

you're already
a respected businessman
in this community.

You own the Stratford Inn.

There's a certain inherent
responsibility that goes with
that kind of prominence.

Oh, I've never really
thought of it that way.

Actually, I have,

but I didn't realize
anyone else had.

Will you consider it, Dick?

Well, you know,
it can't hurt to consider it.

Wonderful.

Well, we'll see you at
the town meeting next week.

And you really think
I could be on the town council

before I've met any
of the people in town?

Oh, there's plenty
of time for that.

The council's
very important, Dick.

It's the heart and
soul of this town.

You'll be following
in the footsteps of
the great leaders of Vermont.

Well, I guess
I would at that.

I mean, you know,
it's really an honor

to even be considered
in the same breath
with people like...

Ethan Allen.
And his Green Mountain Boys.

Thank God.

Hi, honey.
It's just gonna be
you and me for dinner.

Leslie is staying
at school to study,

and George said
he wasn't hungry

after he ate all
the fruit and cheese
from the welcome basket.

Fine.

You want to toss
the salad?

Sure.

You seem preoccupied.
Something on your mind?

Oh, you know, today I was
talking to those two guys
about the stop sign.

Oh, are they gonna
give you one?

Well, they said
they'd bring it up
at the next town meeting.

That's probably
the biggest problem
they've had to solve

in 20 years.

What's that supposed
to mean?

I was making a joke.

I don't think it's funny
to denigrate the town
you live in.

For your information,
they asked me to run
for the town council.

How can you run
for town council?
We just moved here.

What has that
got to do with it?

You don't know anyone.

I know people.

You know three people,
George, Leslie and Kirk.

I know the two guys
at the hardware store
and there's that lady

at the stationery store
where I buy my typing paper.

I stand corrected.
You know six people.

I own the Stratford Inn.

I mean, that makes me
a respected businessman

and a prominent citizen.

I know we've only
lived in town a few weeks,

but apparently in that time
I've built quite a reputation.

You've already decided to run,
haven't you?

Well, I mean, you know,
it's an opportunity
to serve the people.

I've always kind of
wanted to do that.

You never said anything
about wanting to do that.

I never said
anything to you,

but, I mean,
in the back of my mind,
I've always, you know,

toyed with the idea
of one day, you know,

being President.

What?

Being President.

What?

All right,
I know that may sound
a little crazy,

but when I was discussing
that stop sign today,

I felt a real
sense of purpose.

I mean,
that's the great thing
about New England.

Democracy is so close
to the people.

I mean, if I were on
the town council,

I'd be representing
my neighbors.

You know, people I know
by their first name.

Like the guys at
the hardware store,
Dave

and the other guy.

Well, I have to admit,
I like seeing you
fired up like this.

It makes you sexy.

Might be exciting,
being married
to a politician.

Well, you know,
it is only the town council.

But if I was a hit
on the council...

You mean you'd consider
going further?

Well, I think
I'd have to consider it.

You'd wanna
live in Washington?

Well, actually,
most of us live in
Maryland and Virginia.

Dick, we just
changed our whole lives
so we could run this inn.

Well, I'd still keep
a home up here
in the district.

But that means I'd have
another house to furnish
all over again in Virginia.

Well, I'd help with it.

Honey, how can you help?
You'll be busy
with the Senate.

The Congress.
The Congress.

Or the Senate.

And then I'd be
constantly worried
about your health.

We'll take vacations.
We'll come back to Vermont
whenever we want.

How?
Air Force One.

Oh, Dick, I don't know.

Honey, you're
worrying about nothing.

Even if I serve
two terms in the Senate,

it'll be 15 years
before I could ever run
for President and...

I mean, I'd probably
be too old by then.

Lots of men are President
near their seventies.

That's true.

You know what?
What?

I'm going to run
for town council.

Just promise me
you'll be careful.

I will.

Councilman Loudon.

(WHISTLING HAIL TO THE CHIEF)

Good morning,
Mr. Councilman.

I'm not a councilman yet.

Well, when are you
going to announce
your candidacy?

I wanna start
bragging about you.

I guess I should let
everyone around here know.

Well, why don't you
assemble the staff?

What staff?

George and Leslie.

George went into town.

Well, then assemble Leslie.

Okay. Uh, Leslie?

Yes?

Dick has something
he'd like to announce.

Oh, okay.

Floor is yours.

Uh, Leslie,
as you may remember,
yesterday,

I was talking to those
two men about a stop sign
on the corner.

Did you get one?
Congratulations.

Well, that hasn't been
decided yet.

Oh, that's not
the announcement?
I'm sorry. I interrupted.

Anyway, the two men,
Mr. Dickson and Mr. Wanamaker,

they, you know,
they like my idea
about the stop sign

and, you know, generally,
they like the way, you know,
I handle myself.

And...

And they asked him
to run for town council.

Congratulations.

That still isn't
the announcement.

I'm sorry.
Did it again.

That's all right.

Anyway, I decided to run.

That's it.

Congratulations.

Well, thanks, and I know
you're not just saying that.

Are you kidding?
I'm really proud,
and I'm gonna help, too.

I can make posters,
and I'll ring doorbells.

Excuse me just a minute.

Sure.

I'm just tickled pink.

She seemed really excited.

Well, I'm excited, too.

Yeah, but you weren't
tickled pink.

Dick, I want to
make a contribution
to your campaign.

Oh, well, that's really
very generous,

but, I mean, your support
is more than enough.

I mean, I wouldn't
feel right, you know,
taking money from you,

even though
it's only $600.

Leslie,
you managed to save $600
out of your salary already?

Oh, gosh, no.
This money comes
from my foundation.

You have a foundation?

It's just something
I've had since I was
a little girl.

What does
your foundation do?

We send handicapped kids
to summer camp,

and we find homes
for stray dogs,

and we finance
the Cousteau expeditions.

You finance
Jacques Cousteau?

Well, not all by myself.
He does have
other supporters.

Like who?

Well, like France.

Leslie, you're a very
special young woman.

Oh, heck.
Mr. Loudon is the one
running for town council.

Right.

So, when do we
start our campaign?

Well, I suppose at
the next town meeting.

Oh, that's right.
I'm gonna have to get
something to wear.

Joanna, that's a great thing
about New England
town meetings,

they don't pay any attention
to the trappings of power.

I mean, they're
interested in democracy,
not clothes.

You're right.

So, when do you
want to go shopping?

This afternoon.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Did you forget
about the meeting?

No, I'm here.

We thought
maybe you remembered
at the last minute

and that's why you
only wore a sweater.

I thought these meeting were,
you know, more casual.

Do you want my tie?

This meeting will
now be called to order.

Is that all the guy's got,
is sweaters?

George, we didn't know
you'd be here.

Oh, I wouldn't miss a meeting
of the town council.

Hi, Dick.
Hi, Kirk.

Nice sweater.

The clerk will
now read the minutes
of the last town meeting.

At our last town meeting,
the council voted

$500 for new books
for the public library,

$6,000 for a new police car

and $1,200 for the repairs
to the town water system.

We also voted to support
nuclear disarmament,

and the Israeli withdrawal
from the Sinai.

They fought tooth and nail
over that one.

Council will now
move into new business.

The clerk will
read item one
from the agenda.

Item one is repairs
to sidewalk on Maple Street.

May we have
the treasurer's report please?

Repairs to sidewalk
on Maple Street
will cost $850.

We can afford it.

All those in favor of repairs
to the sidewalk,
raise your hands.

Item one is passed.
Item two.

Item two is a new roof
for the bridge
over Hanson's Pond.

New roof will cost $400.
We can afford it.

All in favor?

Two is passed. Three.

Don't they ever discuss
any of these items?

We've been at this
since 1780,

we kind of have it
down by now.

Three is a street light
in front of the drug store.

$500. We can afford.

In favor? Passed. Four.

Drinking fountain.

200. Can do.

Passed. End of agenda.

Are there any resolutions
from the floor?

That's you.
Oh.

Chair recognizes
Olly Simpson.

The country's gone to hell.
I move we secede.

We voted on that before,
and it failed.

Things have changed.

All in favor
seceding from the Union?

Motion defeated.

You're making a mistake.

Are there any
other resolutions?

Chair recognizes
the fellow in the sweater.

(CLEARS THROAT)
I'm Dick Loudon
and I own the Stratford Inn,

and I'd like to request
that a stop sign be put

at the intersection
in front of the inn.

Because of the amount
of traffic,

I think a stop sign
is warranted.

From my
personal observation...
Excuse me.

How much will it cost?

A hundred bucks.
We can afford it.

All in favor?

Resolution adopted.

Are there any
other resolutions?

Yeah, excuse...
Did you want
something else?

Excuse me. When we were
discussing the stop sign,

which you so generously
and quickly voted,

Mr. Dickson
and Mr. Wanamaker,

you know, they mentioned
something about my
civic-mindedness, and...

Will you get
to the point?

They asked me to
run for town council,

and I'd like to announce
that I'm going to run
for town council.

(CLEARS THROAT)
This is my wife, Joanna.

Hello.

I don't even know
when the elections...

We don't have elections.

Then how...

Anybody mind if
the fellow in the sweater
joins the town council?

(PEOPLE MUTTERING
IN AGREEMENT)

You're on.

(STUTTERING) I am?

Congratulations, honey.

But I didn't even
get to read my speech.

And now, if there's
no further business...

Wait, wait.
Wait a minute.

Oh, for crying out
loud, Dick.

Do I come up now
and sit behind the table?

The table is
only for officers.

Well, then where do I sit?

Right here,
fellow councilman.

You're on the council?

Of course he is.
Everyone in the room
is on the council.

Say, how about if Mrs. Loudon
joins the council?

(PEOPLE MUTTERING
IN AGREEMENT)

You're on,
and if there's no
more resolutions,

this meeting is adjourned
until one year from tonight.

Coffee and cake in the lobby.

Finally.

One year from tonight?
I thought you met every week.

What would we talk about
every week?

What happened here?

Well, honey, I guess
being on the town council

isn't a big a deal
as we thought it was.

But at least you
got your stop sign.
Yeah.

Do you want some cake?

No. No,
I think I'll just stay here

and savor my victory.

Congratulations.
Thanks.

Everyone is really excited
about you joining the council.

I'm sure.

Okay, no one is excited,
but they did ask me
to come over here

and welcome you
on behalf of the entire town.

I appreciate that.

And to remind you
next year to wear a suit.