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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:56,988 Yo, Joanna. 2 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,259 Hi, Kirk. Where's Dick? 3 00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:01,693 He's down in the basement with George. 4 00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:03,662 They're looking at the furnace. Mmm-hmm. 5 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,530 Let me guess where you're going. 6 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,733 Give up? 7 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,268 I'm taking Leslie to the Dartmouth-Harvard football game. 8 00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:13,605 It's the biggest game of the season. Everyone goes. 9 00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:15,406 They have picnics in the parking lots, 10 00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:18,509 bands play, people make floats. It's great. 11 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:22,547 It's probably the major social event of the entire year. 12 00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,182 That sounds wonderful. It is. 13 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:27,052 Leslie and I are really looking forward to it. 14 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:29,554 Hey, Leslie, wanna go to the game? 15 00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,057 No, thanks. I have to study. 16 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,558 Wanna buy a blanket? 17 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:40,331 Well, I think the best thing to do is just buy a new furnace. 18 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,567 I mean, we need a bigger one anyway, don't we? 19 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,637 A bigger one won't fit in that corner. 20 00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,438 Well, then put it in the southeast corner. 21 00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:50,008 That's where the stairs are. 22 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,977 Well, then put it in the southwest corner. 23 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:54,646 Then you'll put it on top of Mrs. Newton. 24 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,451 Who? Mrs. Newton. 25 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,453 The lady who's buried in the basement. 26 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:07,559 There's a lady buried in our basement? 27 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,327 You didn't know that? No. 28 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:13,331 Oh, well, sit down, this may come as quite a shock. 29 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,534 (STAMMERING) Uh, Joanna, did you hear this? 30 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,403 JOANNA: What? 31 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:22,874 What would you say if I told you there was a body buried in our basement? 32 00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:25,677 I'd say ick. 33 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:29,147 What would you say if you weren't a college graduate? 34 00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:32,084 What are you talking about? 35 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,086 He's talking about Sarah Newton. 36 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,421 The lady who's buried in your basement. 37 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:37,488 Are you serious? 38 00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:39,224 Do you wanna see? 39 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,326 I'd like to see it. Yeah. 40 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,228 Come on. 41 00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:50,535 JOANNA: Ick. 42 00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,014 Close the door. 43 00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:08,253 George, how come you never told us about this before? 44 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:12,323 Everyone in town knows the Stratford Inn has a body in the basement. 45 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,092 How long has she been down there? 46 00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:17,695 Must be close to 300 years. Everyone in town knows that. 47 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,265 Why is she down there? 48 00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:23,735 That, no one knows. 49 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:27,072 I can't understand why nobody told us about this when we bought the place. 50 00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:29,975 Well, maybe they did, and you just forgot. 51 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,245 I don't think so. 52 00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:40,986 Dick. Dick, I'm not sure that I can live up here with her down there. 53 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:44,923 Honey, I think maybe you're just, you know, overreacting. 54 00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:48,026 I think in time you'll get used to her being down there. 55 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,929 I mean, I'm down there all the time and sometimes 56 00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,598 I don't even know I'm walking on her. 57 00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:57,803 Isn't there somebody we can call about this? 58 00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,104 Who? 59 00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:01,339 Well, I don't know, but I don't like the idea of a body 60 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,640 being under our bedroom. 61 00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:05,643 Actually, it's not under your bedroom. 62 00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:09,714 It's buried in the southwest corner, which would put it under... 63 00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:12,650 My study. 64 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,554 All right, let's not lose our heads about this. 65 00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,556 There is one person I can call. 66 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:19,757 (CLEARS THROAT) 67 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:21,726 (SIGHING) 68 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,129 Mom? 69 00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:34,105 Dick? I picked up a couple of brochures on some furnaces. 70 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:37,409 I thought you might wanna take a look at them. 71 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,578 What's the difference? 72 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,680 Well, this one's in color. 73 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,152 No, I meant in the furnaces. 74 00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:53,157 Oh. Well, this one here is made in Europe, all foreign parts. 75 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:57,596 If it ever breaks down, it could take weeks, maybe months to fix. 76 00:04:57,664 --> 00:04:58,764 And what about this one? 77 00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,632 That one's perfect. 78 00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:03,568 Then why don't we get this? 79 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,069 It's $10 more. 80 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,473 Let's get it anyway. 81 00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,543 First class. I like that. 82 00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:19,750 Joanna, great news. Dick and I solved the problem in the basement. 83 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:20,952 Oh, thank goodness. 84 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:23,054 We decided to put in a new furnace. 85 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,989 Top of the line. 86 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,058 What about Mrs. Newton? 87 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,893 Oh, shoot. 88 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,563 Just when everything looked like it was going great. 89 00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:39,937 Hi, honey. Did you find out anything about Mrs. Newton? 90 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,173 Yeah, I talked to the chief medical examiner. 91 00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:43,641 And? 92 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,977 Well, apparently there's a rule in the county 93 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:50,114 that you can't take anything out of the county that was 94 00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:53,685 in the county before the county was a county. 95 00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:57,889 How did you do? 96 00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:59,857 Well, I started off at the town hall. 97 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,693 Everybody there knew about Mrs. Newton, 98 00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,995 but nobody knew what to do about moving her. 99 00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:07,399 They suggested that I try to find out if she still had any relatives in the area. 100 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:09,301 So, I went to the Hall of Records, 101 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,536 and they sent me to the Historical Society, 102 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:15,840 who recommended that I try the genealogy section of the library. 103 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,909 You did all that in one morning? 104 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:21,413 Yeah, I'm surprised all you did was make a phone call. 105 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,417 Well, I didn't just make a phone call. 106 00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:27,519 Oh. What else did you do? 107 00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:30,388 I ate an orange. 108 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,225 Well, while you were eating, 109 00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:37,595 I found out that her husband Jacob Newton 110 00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:41,232 was one of the original settlers and founding fathers of the town. 111 00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:45,670 I also found out that the Newton house was on the same site as our house, 112 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,540 which means that our basement was their basement. 113 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:51,776 Yeah, but that still doesn't explain why Sarah is buried down there. 114 00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:53,578 Yeah, I know. That's the curious thing. 115 00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:55,012 The records don't even mention her, 116 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,782 except to say that her husband is buried in the churchyard, 117 00:06:57,850 --> 00:07:01,119 but it doesn't explain why she isn't buried with him. 118 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:04,089 Well, husbands and wives aren't always buried together. 119 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:07,792 I have an aunt who's buried in Pennsylvania 120 00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:10,328 and my uncle is buried on the beach in Normandy. 121 00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:12,263 He was killed in the war? 122 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:15,400 No, my aunt found him there with another woman. 123 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,605 How long have you been saving that one? 124 00:07:20,673 --> 00:07:22,607 Uh, 16 years. 125 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:27,812 Now, honey, listen. I was wondering if there was some way 126 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:31,416 that we could get Mr. and Mrs. Newton next to each other. 127 00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:35,220 You're not suggesting that we put Mr. Newton in our basement. 128 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,922 Come on, Dick. I'm suggesting that we go over to the church 129 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,757 where Mr. Newton is buried 130 00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:43,094 and talk to the minister about getting Mrs. Newton moved there. 131 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,163 Good idea. 132 00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,398 I'd like to get out of the house anyway 133 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,367 and walk off that orange. 134 00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:56,440 Come in, come in. Please, sit down. 135 00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:58,676 Sit down. 136 00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:03,481 It's always a pleasure to welcome new people to our little church. 137 00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:07,051 Well, we aren't here to join your church. 138 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,554 Oh. 139 00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:13,892 But we'd be more than happy to make a donation, wouldn't we, Dick? 140 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,059 Hmm? 141 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,863 Oh, uh, sure. 142 00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:24,235 Well, unfortunately, I only have a 20. 143 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:31,042 But I'm sure it'll be put to good use. 144 00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:32,977 Yes, thank you. 145 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,880 Now, how may I help you? 146 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:42,053 Well, uh, the reason we're here, and I know this is going to sound incredible, 147 00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:45,623 we found out that a woman is buried in our basement. 148 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,560 You must be from the Stratford Inn. 149 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:52,030 Right, the incredible Stratford Inn. 150 00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,065 You're referring to Sarah Newton. 151 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:56,200 Yes, but what you may not know, Reverend, 152 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:59,571 is that her husband Jacob Newton is buried in your churchyard. 153 00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:01,138 Really? 154 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,374 DICK: Yes, Reverend, we were wondering if there was any way 155 00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:06,811 of getting Sarah Newton moved over here. 156 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,213 I don't understand why she wasn't buried here to begin with. 157 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,115 You know, that is curious. 158 00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,952 Maybe there's something about it in the old church record. 159 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:17,388 Do you know approximately when she died? 160 00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:20,458 We know exactly when she died. The 1600s. 161 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:26,631 (STUTTERING) The late 1600s. 162 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,999 (CLEARS THROAT) 163 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:32,637 All right. Let's see. Late 1600s. 164 00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:36,941 Here we are. "Nesbit, Nettles, Newton." 165 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:41,512 "Jacob Newton, born, 1656." 166 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,980 What does it say? 167 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:47,452 Oh, the usual thing about being pious and God-fearing. 168 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,455 Uh... 169 00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:56,428 Yes, "Sarah Newton. Born, 1660, died, 1692." 170 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,063 Uh-oh. 171 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,300 What's the matter? 172 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,568 She was refused church burial. 173 00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,104 Refused. Does it give a reason? 174 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,839 Yes, a very good one. 175 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,408 She was a witch. 176 00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:12,177 Ick. 177 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,017 I don't believe this. 178 00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,719 She was refused a proper burial 179 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,122 because someone accused her of being a witch? 180 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:26,291 Oh, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. 181 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:30,328 Well, maybe now, but in the 1600s it was a real sticking point. 182 00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,697 Well, what did they do, burn her at the stake? 183 00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,265 (CHUCKLES) Come now, Mrs. Loudon. 184 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:37,168 They never burned witches at the stake in this country. 185 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,436 This is America. 186 00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:42,407 What did they do? They hung her. 187 00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:46,644 Of course, afterwards, the mob did wander over and burn down her house. 188 00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:50,515 Well, I suppose after a hanging, it's kind of hard to just 189 00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:52,917 go home and kick off your shoes. 190 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,620 Well, at least now, 191 00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,888 now we know why she's buried where she is. 192 00:10:57,957 --> 00:10:59,557 That poor thing. What could she have done 193 00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:01,459 to make people think she was a witch? 194 00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:02,960 Oh, let me see if it's here. 195 00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:04,929 She was seen burying a cat at midnight, 196 00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,598 she made a lady's hair fall out, 197 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:11,135 and she was accused of turning someone's son into a badger. 198 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,371 And that's it? 199 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:17,008 Well, honey, if she really turned a kid into a badger... 200 00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:20,545 This whole thing is preposterous. 201 00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,079 Oh, Reverend, surely you can see 202 00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,581 how unfair all these charges were. 203 00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,550 Well, of course. But unfortunately 204 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:28,953 she's still listed by the church as a witch. 205 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:33,925 Isn't there anything you can do to get Mrs. Newton's name taken off 206 00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,460 the witch list? 207 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,563 Well, one way is to go to the church's executive council 208 00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,933 and have the name stricken from the record. 209 00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:44,535 Then you will have to file a brief showing cause 210 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:47,972 why the church was erroneous in its original views. 211 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:51,910 And have the church hierarchy render a unanimous decision 212 00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:55,679 to reverse the former decision against her. 213 00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:59,317 Or another way would be to just cross her off the list. 214 00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:03,954 You can do that? 215 00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:05,223 You got a pencil? 216 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,329 You mean that's it? 217 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,597 That's it. 218 00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:14,666 And now you'll let Mrs. Newton into your cemetery? 219 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,900 We'll be happy to. 220 00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:17,802 Oh, this is very kind of you, Reverend. 221 00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:20,905 Thank you so much. You're very welcome. 222 00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:25,076 Reverend, it's a credit to you that you took a stand in clearing Mrs. Newton's name. 223 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:28,979 Please. These aren't the Dark Ages. This is the 20th century. 224 00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:32,150 We consider ourselves enlightened. Good day. 225 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,120 Oh, by the way, 226 00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:38,255 you aren't gonna do this after dark, are you? 227 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:41,826 No, why? 228 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,127 It's bad luck to move a witch at night. 229 00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:54,438 Yeah, Mr. Garber, 230 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,441 we appreciate you calling to confirm your reservation. 231 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,577 I have it right here in front of me. 232 00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:02,914 (STUTTERS) We're looking forward to seeing you this afternoon. 233 00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:06,751 Oh, there is one thing I should mention. 234 00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:09,954 Yeah. Well, there's a possibility 235 00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,657 we may be having some work done in our basement, 236 00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:17,628 but it really shouldn't inconvenience you in any way. 237 00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:21,666 It's really nothing. 238 00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,436 Well... 239 00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:29,173 See, there's this body in our basement, 240 00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,310 and we're having her excavated. 241 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,983 Well, there's the Hanover Inn. 242 00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:44,254 The inn at White Falls. 243 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:48,358 I understand completely. Thank you for thinking of us. 244 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,730 Well, I ordered your furnace. 245 00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:53,831 Oh, good, George. 246 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:57,602 The installation will cost $80. 247 00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,304 I thought you'd take care of that. 248 00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,039 I don't have $80. 249 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:09,881 I thought you'd install it. 250 00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:14,385 Oh, well, I guess I could do that. 251 00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,153 Do you know anything about furnaces? 252 00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,422 Well, I know they go in the basement, 253 00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,626 they give off heat 254 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:25,196 and, if you want one installed right, it costs $80. 255 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:31,836 Why don't we spend the $80 and have it done right? 256 00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:34,605 I think we'll all sleep better. 257 00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:36,941 Hi, guys. Great news, Joanna. 258 00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:41,178 Dick and I solved the problem in the basement and it's only gonna cost $80. 259 00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:43,014 To move Mrs. Newton? 260 00:14:45,851 --> 00:14:49,853 You know, I don't think I'm going to tell you good news anymore. 261 00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:57,494 I thought he meant the people from the mortuary were here. 262 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,829 No. They should be here any minute. 263 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,698 Oh, I am gonna be so relieved when this is all over. 264 00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:04,969 You know, the more I learn about Sarah, the more attached I feel to her. 265 00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:06,604 You've really been reading up on this. 266 00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:09,206 Well, I can't sleep at night. I have to do something. 267 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,509 Did I tell you that she had seven children? 268 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:15,313 Two of them almost died of consumption and she nursed them back to health. 269 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:18,416 On top of that, she taught them all to read and write. 270 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:21,919 She made all their clothes. She grew all their food. 271 00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:24,589 Then they accuse her of practicing witchcraft? 272 00:15:24,658 --> 00:15:26,023 It's ridiculous. 273 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:29,761 I agree. When would she have found the time? 274 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:33,898 Hey, Leslie, thanks a lot for doing that. 275 00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:35,166 For showing you Mrs. Newton? 276 00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:38,035 No, for going down alone in the basement with me. 277 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:41,005 Great grave, Dick. 278 00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:43,741 Thanks, Kirk. That means a lot, coming from you. 279 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,844 So, who did you find to re-plant her? 280 00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:50,715 Kirk, please, we're trying to handle this with as much dignity as possible. 281 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,617 I think the kid from the mortuary's here. 282 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,051 The kid? 283 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,453 Come on, Leslie, I don't think the Gardendale Mortuary 284 00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,489 is gonna send over a kid. 285 00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:06,363 My mistake. 286 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,867 I'm from the mortuary. 287 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:11,502 Hi. 288 00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:15,339 Oh, right. 289 00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:19,677 Uh, I don't know why, somehow, I thought you'd be a little older. 290 00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:24,815 They have a really bright junior achievement program, here, Dick. 291 00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:28,652 My dad says I have to work for him after school if I want wheels. 292 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:30,221 What a bummer. 293 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:36,760 Wait till I get my van. I'm going to Europe. 294 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,629 Should be some drive. 295 00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:46,103 So, where's the loved one? 296 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:49,440 She's in the basement. 297 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,475 What do you got, like, a rec room down there? 298 00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:54,045 No, it's just a basement. 299 00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,646 She's buried down there. 300 00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:58,482 She's been buried down there for 300 years. 301 00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,084 I thought everyone knew that. 302 00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:03,087 (CHUCKLES) Hey, I don't know what happened last Tuesday. 303 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:10,094 It doesn't matter. The point is we want her moved. 304 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,129 And what do you want me to do? 305 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,697 The digging. 306 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:18,635 What are you, like, the Addams Family? 307 00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:26,643 No, we're just average people trying to get a body moved out of our basement. 308 00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,046 Not by me. 309 00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:30,114 Hey, wait a minute. 310 00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:31,182 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 311 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,716 We got a deal. 312 00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,118 MAN: Deal this. 313 00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:37,688 I saw that. 314 00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:41,458 Wait till I tell your father. You can kiss your van goodbye. 315 00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:46,697 Can you believe that? What a rotten kid. 316 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:50,001 You know, somebody like that shouldn't be working for a mortuary. 317 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,736 Somebody like that should be a badger. 318 00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:57,909 Only now what do we do? 319 00:17:57,977 --> 00:17:59,443 Listen, if you're really up against it, 320 00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,512 I know some guys who will do anything for a buck. 321 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:04,949 In fact, I think I have their card right here. 322 00:18:05,018 --> 00:18:07,418 "We'll do anything for a buck." 323 00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,587 They're not kidding, either. 324 00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:12,824 I had them cut down dead trees, haul away trash, recommend restaurants. 325 00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:16,727 Sounds too good to be true. 326 00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,862 Do you really think we should call them? 327 00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,432 I think we're out of alternatives. 328 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:29,674 Hello. Is this Anything for a Buck? 329 00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:33,210 Yeah, my name is Dick Loudon. I'm the owner of the Stratford Inn. 330 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:36,280 Yeah, there's something we have to have moved. 331 00:18:38,051 --> 00:18:39,850 Not until next week. 332 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:44,655 There's no way you could do it sooner? 333 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:47,257 Well, it's a 300-year-old corpse 334 00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,760 that's buried in our basement. 335 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,298 (STUTTERING) Five minutes would be fine. 336 00:18:57,169 --> 00:19:00,070 No, actually, we thought we'd pay you. 337 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,645 We can't wait, either. 338 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,529 Anything for a Buck. 339 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,097 (GASPING) 340 00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:29,300 Oh, yes. 341 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,903 Dick, the gentlemen are here. 342 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,907 Hurry, okay? 343 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,613 Oh, boy. 344 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,116 Hi. Hi. 345 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,352 I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl 346 00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:50,587 and that's my other brother Darryl. 347 00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:57,995 So, how are you doing? 348 00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:02,266 Okay, except I throwed my back out last week crawling under a house. 349 00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:04,468 Sounds like a tough job. 350 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,538 Wasn't a job. I just like crawling under houses. 351 00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:13,444 Where's the little lady? 352 00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:16,447 Mrs. Newton is down those stairs. 353 00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:20,351 Thank you. If you don't mind my asking, 354 00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:23,019 how do you go about this sort of thing? 355 00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:29,893 Well, we usually just wait until we get down there to see what's the most fun. 356 00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:39,102 You seem real eager to get started. 357 00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:42,205 Honey, do you have any questions for the guys? 358 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:46,977 Do you have any questions? 359 00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:48,579 Dig her up, right? 360 00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:50,447 Right. No questions. 361 00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:05,362 We're doing the right thing, aren't we? 362 00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:08,164 Honey, we talked this over. You wanted her next to her husband. 363 00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:10,634 You're right. You're right. 364 00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:14,404 (SIGHS) So, if it's right, why do I feel so awful? 365 00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:16,474 Honey, a lot of times, when you do the right thing, 366 00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:18,609 it makes your flesh crawl. 367 00:21:19,978 --> 00:21:21,778 No, no. It's not that. 368 00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:24,315 It's just that things have changed since we started this. 369 00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:26,983 I mean, now we're talking about a real person, 370 00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:30,087 a woman that I have come to know and care about. 371 00:21:30,155 --> 00:21:31,922 I mean, Sarah was a wife and a mother 372 00:21:31,990 --> 00:21:34,258 and she suffered a lot of indignity, 373 00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:35,693 what with being hung and all, 374 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,496 and I think maybe we should reconsider. 375 00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:42,332 You mean leave her down there? 376 00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:46,002 But I thought you said her place was next to her husband? 377 00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:48,305 Well, her husband was a jerk. 378 00:21:48,374 --> 00:21:49,873 What are you talking about? 379 00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:52,776 Okay, where was he when Sarah was being tried as a witch? 380 00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:54,478 Did he speak up for her? 381 00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:56,947 Well, maybe he couldn't speak up for her. Why not? 382 00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:59,616 Who knows what she'd turn him into? 383 00:22:01,254 --> 00:22:03,687 No, it's not funny, Dick. 384 00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:07,291 I thought you said you couldn't sleep at night knowing she was down there. 385 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:11,428 Well, now I'm not sure I could sleep nights knowing we moved her. 386 00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:14,198 I guess I'm starting to feel protective. 387 00:22:14,267 --> 00:22:17,034 Nobody else ever looked out for her. 388 00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:19,370 You're serious about this? 389 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:21,071 Yes, I am. 390 00:22:21,140 --> 00:22:23,140 You understand, don't you, honey? 391 00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:25,409 Well, of course. I just... 392 00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:29,413 I don't know how to break the news to Larry, Darryl and Darryl. 393 00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:32,616 Um... 394 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,585 Guys? 395 00:22:34,654 --> 00:22:36,853 You wanna come up here a second? 396 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,066 Yep? 397 00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:52,569 So, how far have you gone? 398 00:22:52,638 --> 00:22:55,239 We're still flipping for the first digs. 399 00:22:56,875 --> 00:23:01,545 (STUTTERING) I don't know quite how to tell you this, but my wife and I, 400 00:23:01,613 --> 00:23:05,349 we've changed our minds about moving Mrs. Newton. 401 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,655 This comes as quite a shock. 402 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:16,193 But, you know, of course we'll be glad to pay you for your time. 403 00:23:19,165 --> 00:23:23,167 And if there's anything like this ever, you know, comes up again, 404 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:26,236 you'll certainly be the first ones we'll call. 405 00:23:28,274 --> 00:23:33,009 (CLEARS THROAT) I wish there was some way of making this up to you. 406 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:35,645 Dick, there was that dead possum out by the well. 407 00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:38,482 We'll take it. Darryl. Darryl! 408 00:23:56,869 --> 00:24:00,270 Dick, the men are here to put in the new furnace. 31884

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