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1
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,110
Hi, guys.
2
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:20,679
Hi, Kirk.
Hi, Kirk.
3
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:23,148
What's up?
Not a thing.
What's up with you?
4
00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:24,883
I just thought
I'd take a break
from my cafe
5
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:27,519
and come over for
a roll and coffee.
6
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,021
You don't have rolls
at your cafe?
7
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,056
Not fresh.
8
00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:33,225
Oh, by the way,
have you heard
9
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:36,261
who Rosalie
at the paint store
is fooling around with?
10
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:38,030
No, I haven't.
Hmm.
11
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:41,566
Well, I guess
I'll just have to find out
from someone else.
12
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:44,602
See you.
Say, Kirk,
before you go,
13
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,138
could I ask you
a question?
14
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:47,372
Yeah.
15
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,941
Where do you get
your clothes?
16
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:51,209
Why?
17
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,745
Well, I was just thinking
what a snazzy dresser
you are.
18
00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:56,948
Gee, thanks, George.
Coming from you, that's...
19
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,217
Well, thanks.
20
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,654
I wish I could
look better.
21
00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:05,456
I never get
any compliments
on the way I dress.
22
00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:07,226
Hard to believe.
23
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:11,062
George, people have to dress
for the kind of work they do.
24
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,697
Leslie's right.
25
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,300
You're a caretaker,
so naturally,
you're dressed in overalls.
26
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:18,903
She's a maid, so of course
she's in designer jeans
and cashmere sweaters.
27
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:23,742
I don't even know
how to get clothes
like you wear.
28
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:26,344
Well, you have to ask.
29
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,814
Can I have
some of your clothes?
30
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:32,750
Don't do that.
31
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,386
I meant, you have to
ask at a store.
I do ask.
32
00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:37,589
But every time I say
I need shirts and pants,
33
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,123
they always show me
something
34
00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:40,191
sturdy.
35
00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:43,494
George, if you like
Kirk's clothes,
36
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,630
why don't you ask him
to go shopping with you?
37
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,766
Oh, he wouldn't
do that.
Sure, he would.
38
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,768
No, he wouldn't.
39
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,737
Sure, he would.
Why?
40
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,406
(SIGHING)
41
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:58,410
Look at all the things
that George has done for you.
42
00:02:58,478 --> 00:02:59,978
He's helped you clean
your cafe,
43
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,847
he's patched your roof
when it leaked,
44
00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:05,316
he's fixed your appliances,
he's repaired plumbing,
he's pruned your trees.
45
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:06,785
You owe him.
46
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:12,257
George, how about
if I take you shopping?
47
00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:13,625
You'd do that?
48
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,360
Well, you've done
a lot of favors for me,
49
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:17,362
I guess I can
do this for you.
50
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,497
Gee, thanks.
Can we go right now?
51
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:22,166
Well, just let me
lock up the cafe,
I'll meet you back here.
52
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:23,434
Great.
53
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,640
Hey, Kirk, thanks.
54
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:32,410
I'll take him shopping
for 10 minutes,
but then we're even.
55
00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:39,351
I'm looking
forward to this.
56
00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:41,253
I'm a real
golf fanatic.
57
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:43,588
It'll be great
having you as
our fourth.
58
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,557
Ever since old Wally
passed away,
59
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:48,660
we've been
looking for someone
to take his place.
60
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,261
I hope you mean
on the golf course.
61
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:56,935
Oh, you remember
Leslie Vanderkellen?
62
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,737
No, don't believe
we do,
63
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,672
but nice
seeing you again.
64
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:03,008
Nice seeing you.
65
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,810
Well, then it's all set.
Tee-off is at 9:00 tomorrow.
66
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,079
We'll pick you up
at 8:30.
I can't wait.
67
00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:10,482
And you're sure
there's no problem
with joining the club.
68
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:13,352
No, no.
It's privately owned,
but anybody can join.
69
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,454
They've only turned down
one person in the whole
history of the club.
70
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:17,755
Great.
Well, see you
in the morning.
71
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:19,324
Goodbye.
Bye.
72
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,062
Where's Joanna?
Upstairs.
73
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:27,165
Joanna.
What, honey?
74
00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:28,733
Jim Dixon
and Chester Wanamaker
75
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,468
asked me to play golf
with them tomorrow.
76
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:31,703
Oh, that's wonderful.
Yeah.
77
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,371
You've been looking
for somebody to
play golf with
78
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,840
ever since
we moved up here.
79
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,541
Yeah, they play
at Maple Knolls.
80
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,676
It's supposed to be
one of the most popular
courses in the state.
81
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:39,911
Really tough, huh?
82
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:42,046
No, really easy.
83
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:45,984
Well, say goodbye to
the old George Utley.
84
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,689
Where is the old
George Utley going?
85
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:52,891
Kirk's gonna help me
pick out some new clothes.
86
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,860
I wanna look
just like Kirk.
87
00:04:57,697 --> 00:04:59,163
Why?
88
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,332
Because Kirk is
a snazzy dresser.
89
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:03,802
George is right.
Kirk is a good dresser.
90
00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:06,137
Are you gonna
play golf, Dick?
91
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:07,972
Yeah.
92
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,877
That's nice.
93
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,612
Well, I think what Dick
is looking forward to,
as much as anything,
94
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:16,682
is getting to be
with some of
the guys in town.
95
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:19,784
You know, I think
it's important that men
get together sometimes
96
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:20,952
and do men things.
97
00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:22,520
So do I.
98
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,822
Ready to go shopping,
George?
99
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,759
Yep.
Let's go.
100
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,143
Hey, hey, hey.
101
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:50,148
Boy, this is
really nice.
102
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:51,682
Well, we think so.
103
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:54,452
There's a clubroom here
where you can sit afterwards
104
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,756
and have a cold drink
or watch TV.
105
00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:59,458
Oh, this is
gonna be great.
106
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:04,996
You know, I have to tell you,
I've been looking forward
to this
107
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:07,098
ever since you
came by yesterday.
108
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:09,501
Well, a man's gotta
get out of the house
once in a while.
109
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,202
Yeah, wives are fine,
110
00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:15,807
but how long can you talk
about dieting and bargains?
111
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:19,210
Well, I have to admit,
I do hunger for
real conversation.
112
00:06:19,278 --> 00:06:20,745
MAN IN SHOWER ROOM:
Hey, how about
those Red Sox?
113
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,180
Well, they're
looking good.
114
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:24,983
But I still think
it's gonna be
Baltimore's year.
115
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,418
(SCOFFS)
Not without Weaver.
116
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:28,420
Oh, Weaver doesn't
hit or pitch.
117
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,922
The Orioles still
have the horses.
118
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:34,325
See, that's just what I mean.
I love that kind of talk.
119
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,728
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey...
120
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:38,630
There he is.
121
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:41,799
Sorry I'm late. I stopped
on the way to pick up
a six-pack of beer for later.
122
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,401
I love beer.
123
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:46,738
Oh, Doc, we'd like you
to meet Dick Loudon.
This is Doc Owens.
124
00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:48,206
Dick.
Doc.
125
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:54,312
This is the fourth member
of our little group.
126
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:56,515
Is Doc a nickname,
or are you a real doctor?
127
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,850
No, I'm really
a doctor, Dick.
128
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:01,920
A GP or a surgeon?
129
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:03,789
Professor.
130
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,690
I have a Ph.D.
in English literature.
131
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:06,791
Oh!
132
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,159
Oh, you know,
Dick's a writer.
133
00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:09,995
You two have
a lot in common.
134
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:12,030
Yeah, I write the books,
and you read them.
135
00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:15,333
Sure is a small world.
136
00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:16,934
Well, we better
get out there.
137
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:19,003
We don't wanna miss
our start time.
138
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:22,274
Say, Dick,
did they tell you
we play for money?
139
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,142
What's that?
140
00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:27,378
It's small stakes,
just to make it
interesting.
141
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:30,181
Nobody said anything
about gambling.
142
00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:33,752
Oh, well,
I wouldn't call it gambling.
We play for $5 a hole.
143
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,586
You lose the hole,
you lose $5,
144
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:38,723
but if you win the hole,
you win $15.
145
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,892
Well, I only got
$40 on me.
146
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,127
I mean,
you know, at $5 a hole,
I could lose...
147
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,763
Oh, hardly anything.
148
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:48,333
Look, if you win
four holes and lose 14,
you're only down $10.
149
00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:51,936
But if you win five holes
and lose 13,
then you're up $10.
150
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:56,074
Course, if you win
six holes and lose 12...
Is... Is...
151
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,610
Is $40 gonna be enough?
Plenty.
152
00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,645
Great, let's go.
153
00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:02,747
Besides,
even if you do lose,
you're still ahead,
154
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,916
because
the winner buys lunch.
Great.
155
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:08,119
Oh, and we pay another dollar
to the guy who hits
the longest drive.
156
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,622
Right.
And sinks
the longest putt.
157
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:13,024
And if you wind up in a trap,
it'll cost you 50 cents.
158
00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:15,627
And 50 more if you take
more than one shot to get out.
159
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,402
Do you guys take
credit cards?
160
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,979
(CHUCKLING)
161
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:37,615
Hey, that was fun,
wasn't it?
162
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:41,886
Yeah, I was pleased
with my putting today.
163
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,058
I can't believe it.
164
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:49,327
Oh, come on, Dick.
Cheer up.
165
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,064
I told you.
I'm not a gambler.
166
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,932
What's the big deal?
167
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,401
The big deal is
you said you play
for small stakes.
168
00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:01,839
We do.
Then how come
I won $233?
169
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:04,943
Hey, you were burning up
the course today.
170
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:06,311
No, I wasn't.
171
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,746
Looked that way to us.
MR. DIXON: Yeah.
172
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:11,615
Believe it or not,
I've shot better than a 98.
173
00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,985
Hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
Ho, ho!
174
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,787
I think
we've been hustled.
175
00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:17,221
We should have known
we were in trouble
176
00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:18,490
when he won
the driving contest.
177
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,593
Look, I really
feel badly about this.
178
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:24,395
I wish you'd let me
give you back your money,
and we'll call it even.
179
00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:26,598
Come on,
it's no big thing.
180
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,767
I feel like
maybe I caught you
on a bad day.
181
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,969
Bad day?
Are you kidding?
182
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:35,173
A hundred and fourteen
is my best score ever.
183
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:39,477
Really?
You were consistent,
too, Chester.
184
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:41,412
Twin 57s.
185
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:46,684
Look, I'd really feel better
if you take your money back.
186
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,553
Now, Dick,
we can't let you
do that.
187
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,655
You won it
fair and square.
188
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:54,859
Besides, we have no intention
of letting you leave here
with all of it.
189
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,260
(CHUCKLING)
190
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:57,629
What are you
talking about?
191
00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:00,164
We plan
to win it back
at poker.
192
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,602
Poker?
Yeah, we play poker
after golf.
193
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,504
It's a tradition.
194
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:08,773
Look, I really
don't like to gamble.
195
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:11,976
But it's a tradition.
We've been doing it
for 10 years.
196
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,011
Well, not gambling is
a tradition with me.
197
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,380
I've been doing it
all my life.
198
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:18,816
Dick, you've got
$233 of our money.
199
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:22,453
Are you saying you're not
gonna give us a chance
to win it back?
200
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:24,456
No, I'm not
saying that.
201
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,257
Then what are
you saying?
202
00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:29,794
I can only play
till 5:30.
203
00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:44,108
GEORGE: What's wrong
with what I'm wearing?
204
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,710
KIRK: It's stupid,
that's what's wrong
with it.
205
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:47,312
I'm gonna ask Joanna.
206
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:48,846
Fine, you ask Joanna.
207
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:49,914
JOANNA:
What's going on?
208
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,215
Would you please
do me a favor
209
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:54,452
and tell George that
he looks like a boob?
210
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,120
Quit calling me that.
211
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:57,522
What is going on
with you two?
212
00:10:57,591 --> 00:10:59,690
Is there anything wrong
with what I'm wearing?
213
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:02,460
No, not if
you're four.
214
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,564
But if you're
a grown man,
it's pathetic.
215
00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:08,733
I was talking
to Joanna.
216
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,469
Kirk's upset
because I'm wearing
my new turtleneck.
217
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:13,805
I'm upset because
you're wearing it
with your overalls.
218
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:16,140
Any fool knows it goes
with the brown cords.
219
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,509
Well, if you know that,
then you must be the fool.
220
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:22,146
(INAUDIBLE)
221
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,582
Kirk, he's just wearing it
around the house.
222
00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:25,683
No, he's not.
223
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:27,652
He came over to
the cafe this way
224
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,587
and announced
in front of the whole room,
225
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:31,923
"Look at the clothes
Kirk picked out for me."
226
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:33,357
God, it was humiliating.
227
00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:35,660
I thought the person
that was there
was gonna leave.
228
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:41,865
I like my new turtleneck,
and I like it
with my overalls.
229
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:44,202
Okay, if you know
so much about clothes,
230
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:46,371
what are you gonna wear
with the brown cords?
231
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:47,605
The blue
plaid shirt.
232
00:11:47,673 --> 00:11:48,839
Oh, puke.
233
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:52,943
Kirk, I'm making
a salad.
234
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:56,081
Would you just stop making
such a big deal about this
and go change?
235
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,383
No.
Then I never wanna
see you again.
236
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:01,553
Well, that's too bad,
because I'm coming over to
your cafe for dinner tonight,
237
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:03,655
and I'm wearing this.
Yeah, I'm not gonna
serve you.
238
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,089
Well, I'm gonna
stay there anyway.
239
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,892
Yeah? You can sit there
till you rot!
240
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:11,262
I can't believe
how childish he's being.
241
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,264
Why are you making
such a big deal about this?
242
00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:15,299
Because I helped George
pick out his clothes.
243
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,935
The way George dresses
is a reflection of me.
244
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:20,471
Just like the way
Dick dresses
is a reflection of you.
245
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,111
Hi, Kirk. Hi, honey.
JOANNA: Hi.
246
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,513
Why do I suddenly
feel better?
247
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,650
What is this?
Dress funny day?
248
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,652
I was out playing golf.
249
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,086
How'd it go?
Fine.
250
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:37,889
You're home late.
251
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:41,425
Yeah, we hung out at the club
for a little while afterwards.
252
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:43,494
What club is that?
253
00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:44,895
Uh, Maple Knolls.
254
00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:47,866
Maple Knolls?
That's pretty exclusive,
isn't it?
255
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,167
No. Why?
256
00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:51,202
I tried to join once,
and they turned me down.
257
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:57,342
Really?
Yeah, well.
It doesn't matter anyway.
258
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,909
I've always thought
of golf as a
259
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:00,177
sissy game.
260
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:01,479
Get out.
I'm going.
261
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:05,950
Are the guys nice?
262
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,586
Yeah, they're...
They're nice guys.
263
00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:10,487
You seem a little hesitant.
What's the matter?
264
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:12,423
I found out
they're gamblers.
265
00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:13,624
Serious gamblers?
266
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:14,892
They are now.
267
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,193
What do you mean?
268
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:18,395
I won $703.
269
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,235
You won $703
playing golf?
270
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,071
No, I won $233
playing golf.
271
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,640
I won $470
playing poker.
272
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,310
What were you doing
playing poker?
273
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:35,880
Trying to lose
the $233 I won at golf.
274
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,716
Joanna, you wouldn't
believe these guys.
They play every Saturday.
275
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:41,051
They are the worst golfers
you've ever seen.
276
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,520
The only thing
they're worse at than golf
277
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,122
is cards.
278
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,924
I wanna talk about
what you're gonna do
with $703.
279
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,392
I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
280
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,494
If it bothers you,
why don't you
give the money back?
281
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:53,230
Because guys
don't give money back
they've won from other guys.
282
00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:54,331
Why not?
283
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,566
They just don't.
284
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,101
But that doesn't
make sense.
285
00:13:57,169 --> 00:14:00,471
Well, it doesn't
make sense to you
because you're a woman.
286
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:03,774
Before you apologize, tell me
what you're talking about.
287
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,277
There are certain things
that guys do and don't do.
288
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,947
It's like a code
that guys live by.
289
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,548
A code?
290
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:13,283
All right, for example,
a guy would never insult
another guy
291
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,953
by giving him back money
he'd won from him.
292
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,188
Or like when guys
go out to eat.
293
00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:21,092
I mean,
guys would never think
of splitting the check.
294
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,694
Guys would never think of
stopping a car for directions.
295
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:26,330
They'd rather just
drive around for an hour
saying, "Trust me."
296
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,403
What are you saying?
297
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:36,040
What I'm saying is,
if I want these guys
to have their money back,
298
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,109
I'm gonna have to
let them win it back.
299
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:39,910
You can't just keep it
and not play anymore?
300
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,211
No.
301
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:42,813
Explain that one.
302
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,649
You always give a guy
a second chance.
303
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,750
That's like
the golden rule of guys.
304
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,452
Then what's
the problem?
305
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:51,355
The problem is
I can't let them know
I'm letting them win it back.
306
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:52,957
The code again?
Yeah.
307
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:55,627
What is that,
like a subheading?
308
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,728
Look, Joanna,
you can go ahead
and make fun of this,
309
00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:59,764
but this is
real important to me.
310
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,999
I mean, I'm telling you
what guys think
311
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,634
if you wanna be
one of the guys.
312
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:06,170
And if you wanna
be one of the guys,
you don't break the code.
313
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,404
(CLICKS TONGUE)
314
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:09,307
It's hell being a guy,
isn't it, Dick?
315
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:11,175
It's no picnic.
316
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:16,680
Could you do me a favor,
honey, and open the bottle
of wine for dinner?
317
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,750
Sure, where's
the corkscrew?
318
00:15:19,818 --> 00:15:23,154
Being a guy,
I thought you'd just wanna
pull it out with your teeth.
319
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,635
Hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.
320
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:40,038
Don't take it
so hard, Dick.
321
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:43,474
Last week was your week,
this week was ours.
322
00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:45,342
I was really
lousy today.
323
00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:49,980
Come on, Dick,
you can't get lucky
and shoot a 98 every week.
324
00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:54,185
Seven more weeks of this,
and we'll win
all our money back.
325
00:15:54,253 --> 00:15:55,552
I don't know
if it'll take that long.
326
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,054
With the way
my luck is running,
327
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,189
I could lose it
all today.
328
00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:01,292
We're still gonna
play cards, right?
329
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:04,395
Oh, sure.
Well, why waste time?
Let's go.
330
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:09,534
Oh, good,
the table is free.
331
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,001
I want
my lucky chair.
332
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,604
I'll deal.
333
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,940
All right,
I'll pass out
the chips.
334
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:17,274
How long
can you stay
this week?
335
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:18,542
As long as it takes.
336
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:21,512
Twenty for you,
337
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:23,714
and 20 for you,
338
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,483
and 20 for you.
339
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:29,153
And with the $90
I lost today,
340
00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:32,056
that leaves me
with only $610.
341
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:41,933
Okay, this is five-card draw,
jacks or better to open.
342
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,367
Wow.
343
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:44,735
Great,
here we go.
344
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:47,572
Ante?
345
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:48,673
Ante up.
346
00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:52,777
It's to you,
Dick.
347
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,779
Um...
348
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,581
I'll open
for a dollar.
349
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,315
I fold.
I fold.
350
00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:04,555
What are you doing?
351
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:06,557
We figured
you had a good hand.
352
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:09,193
You did this last time.
You give up too soon.
353
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,929
You have to
keep drawing cards
to get a better hand.
354
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,731
Sounds risky, Dick.
355
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,534
We're gambling.
356
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:19,904
Well, take it easy, Dick.
We'll play another hand.
357
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:23,006
Right, okay.
It's my deal,
same game,
358
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:26,109
and just try
to think about
what you're doing.
359
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,387
You been
to Las Vegas, Dick?
360
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:39,423
Yeah.
361
00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:41,192
Who did you see?
362
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,194
Steve and Eydie.
363
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,395
Is that
that puppet and
stripper act?
364
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,603
Okay, it's
to you, Doc.
365
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,739
I can't open.
I can't open.
366
00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:56,574
Well, I can't open.
367
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,375
All right, I'll open
for a dollar.
368
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,077
And no one fold!
369
00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:08,452
(CHIPS CLINKING)
370
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:09,620
Doc, how many
you want?
371
00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:10,955
Uh, three.
372
00:18:12,558 --> 00:18:13,690
Two.
373
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,127
Three.
374
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:18,629
And I'll get by
with these.
375
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:26,704
Okay,
I'll bet $2.
376
00:18:27,506 --> 00:18:28,706
I'm in.
377
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:29,806
I'm in.
378
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:31,975
(SIGHS)
Me, too.
379
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,910
Got a pair of jacks.
I don't have anything.
380
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,179
Me either.
Me either.
381
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,751
Then why
did you stay in?
382
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,087
We thought that was
what you wanted us to do.
383
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:45,756
You got mad
when we folded.
384
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,126
I don't believe this.
385
00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:51,529
It's okay, Dick.
It's only a couple
of dollars.
386
00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:55,733
A couple of dollars?
It's $600. I mean,
how can you do this?
387
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,401
Do what?
How can you gamble?
388
00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:58,736
You don't know
how to play poker,
389
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,504
and you don't know
how to play golf.
390
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,973
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Wait a minute, Dick.
We beat you today at golf.
391
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:05,542
You beat me
because I shot 132.
392
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,712
And even at that,
I beat Chester.
393
00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:12,916
Well, I had
hay fever, Dick.
394
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,388
Look, I'm trying
to give you a chance
to win back your money,
395
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:20,157
but how can I give you
a chance when you're
playing like jerks?
396
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:21,558
We're sorry, Dick.
397
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:23,694
We'll try to play better.
398
00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:26,297
Look, you can't play better,
and I don't think
I can play any worse.
399
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:29,366
We're just gonna have to
find a game that requires
no skill at all.
400
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,171
What about bridge?
401
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:35,773
Look, I'll tell you what,
why don't we just
cut for a high card?
402
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:38,308
The whole $600, me
against the three of you.
403
00:19:38,377 --> 00:19:41,178
Is this something
you're good at?
404
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:43,247
There's no such thing
as being good at this.
405
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:44,781
Who's gonna
cut for you?
406
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,450
Well, who
feels lucky?
407
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,152
It doesn't
matter.
408
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,753
Pick someone.
409
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,421
I think I do.
410
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:54,358
All right, fine.
It's me against Chester,
$600, double or nothing.
411
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:57,628
If I lose, you get
all your money back.
Split it between you.
412
00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,330
Good luck,
Chester.
413
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,398
Chester, cut.
414
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:01,598
(BREATHES
DRAMATICALLY)
415
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,701
Nine.
416
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,538
King.
417
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,406
Does that mean
we owe you $1,200?
418
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:11,008
For now,
but I'm gonna lose.
419
00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:14,311
Don't you see?
I'm gonna lose eventually.
It's the law of averages.
420
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,445
All right,
cut again.
421
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:17,882
Jack.
422
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:21,652
Queen.
423
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,288
Get out your
calculator, Jim.
It's $2,400.
424
00:20:24,356 --> 00:20:25,722
All right.
Cut again.
425
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:27,258
Hey, hey, hey.
Wait a minute here.
426
00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:28,893
$2,400 is
a lot of money.
427
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:31,829
(IMPATIENTLY)
It doesn't matter,
I'm going to lose.
428
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,798
Cut.
You cut first.
429
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:37,301
Four.
430
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:39,203
Two.
431
00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:43,374
$4,800.
432
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,511
Why don't we just write him
a check and get out of it
while we can?
433
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,979
I don't have
that kind of money.
434
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:51,214
I don't want your money,
I want you to keep cutting.
435
00:20:51,283 --> 00:20:53,017
Sure, who wouldn't?
436
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,588
Seven.
437
00:20:58,390 --> 00:20:59,523
King.
438
00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:03,693
$9,600.
439
00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:05,663
My wife will kill me.
440
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:08,098
No, she won't.
Cut.
I'm getting out of here.
441
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:10,634
No one's getting out of here
until I lose all my money!
442
00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:13,303
Now, sit down and cut.
443
00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:14,738
He's a madman.
444
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:18,676
Cut.
445
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:21,779
Eight.
446
00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:23,681
Ten.
447
00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:27,851
$19,200.
448
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,519
That's more than I make
in a year.
449
00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:31,788
Don't worry
about it.
450
00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:34,091
I have children
to put through school.
451
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,926
I was thinking
of retiring.
452
00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:37,528
Cut! Cut!
453
00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:41,131
Seven.
454
00:21:43,369 --> 00:21:44,435
Ten.
455
00:21:46,004 --> 00:21:50,308
$38,400.
456
00:21:50,376 --> 00:21:52,343
That's it.
I'll have to
sell my house.
457
00:21:53,345 --> 00:21:54,811
No, you won't.
458
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,580
Have mercy,
Dick.
459
00:21:58,417 --> 00:21:59,650
Cut!
460
00:22:03,789 --> 00:22:05,022
Five.
461
00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:07,358
Three. Finally.
462
00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:09,759
Three?
Three?
463
00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:10,828
We won.
464
00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:13,497
(LAUGHING)
Thank God.
465
00:22:13,566 --> 00:22:15,131
We won. We won.
466
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,502
I can't believe it.
Dick owes us $38,000.
467
00:22:19,972 --> 00:22:23,340
No, I don't.
It's double or nothing.
Now, it's nothing.
468
00:22:23,409 --> 00:22:24,908
You mean,
we don't get anything?
469
00:22:27,312 --> 00:22:30,313
You get your $600 back.
That was the whole point.
470
00:22:30,383 --> 00:22:31,949
Now why don't you
take it and
471
00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:33,383
go buy some golf lessons.
472
00:22:33,452 --> 00:22:34,852
Where are you going?
473
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,253
Home to my wife.
474
00:22:36,322 --> 00:22:37,822
Well, we don't understand.
475
00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:40,423
Look,
the only reason I did this
was to be one of the guys.
476
00:22:40,492 --> 00:22:42,459
But it's no fun
being one of the guys
477
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:45,863
with guys who are
as lousy at being guys
as you are.
478
00:22:47,833 --> 00:22:49,866
Are you saying
you don't wanna
play poker anymore?
479
00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:51,601
I'm saying
I don't wanna
play poker anymore,
480
00:22:51,670 --> 00:22:53,070
I don't wanna
play golf anymore,
481
00:22:53,139 --> 00:22:54,872
I don't even wanna
be a guy anymore.
482
00:22:57,810 --> 00:22:59,143
There's my share
of lunch.
483
00:23:04,116 --> 00:23:07,250
He sure is different
from old Wally.
484
00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:11,488
I know, Wally used to
clean us out every week,
and he never got mad.
485
00:23:24,369 --> 00:23:26,036
Hi, honey.
Hi.
486
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:32,442
What are you doing?
487
00:23:32,511 --> 00:23:34,044
Just writing
a letter.
488
00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:35,746
I'm gonna go upstairs
and shower.
489
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:37,981
How'd it go?
490
00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:40,150
Great. I lost $38,000.
491
00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:47,991
Dick?
492
00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:50,293
Dick?
36182
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