All language subtitles for Medical.Police.S01E05.INTERNAL.1080p.WEB.x264-STRiFE

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian Download
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,907 - Whoo! - Whoo! 2 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,784 Good foot race. 3 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,786 I love foot racing with you. 4 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,872 - 'Cause we're both so fast. - I'm so fast. 5 00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:42,435 Hey, we should probably go check in. Our flight home is in an hour. 6 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,460 Yeah. 7 00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:45,628 Oh, crap. 8 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:46,712 What's wrong? 9 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,466 Cat is performing live on Break a Leg tonight, 10 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:50,829 and I told her I would be there. 11 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,720 Well, look on the bright side. 12 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,702 Okay. 13 00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:02,020 Let's clear the stage, people. Audience is coming in. 14 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:05,523 Hello? Lola? Hey, are you almost here? 15 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:09,235 Oh, Cat, you're gonna kill me. Um, I'm not gonna make it. 16 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:10,236 What? 17 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,198 I was counting on you to be here. I need your support. 18 00:01:13,281 --> 00:01:14,365 I know, I know. 19 00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:17,786 And I'm so sorry, but I mean, if it makes you feel any better, 20 00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:21,164 I did stop a terror plot and save thousands of lives. 21 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:24,584 It's always about you, isn't it? And the terror plots that you solve. 22 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,462 You know what? I gotta go. 23 00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:29,047 Thanks for nearly nothing. 24 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,218 All acts, 5 minutes to broadcast. 25 00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:34,301 Focus, Cat. 26 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:36,554 You've worked too hard for this. 27 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:45,437 I... 28 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,108 Hey, last one on the plane is a rotting egg. 29 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,525 Okay. 30 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:50,567 Wait a second. 31 00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:51,986 It's Neri's phone. 32 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,070 Oh, my God. 33 00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:55,156 Someone sent a text message. 34 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,407 - Quick, face me. - Right. 35 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:02,287 Okay. 36 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,973 So, a guy named Nikolai sent a text from Latvia. 37 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:23,035 - How do you know it's from Latvia? - You don't remember the Country Code song 38 00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,059 from elementary school? 39 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,939 ♪ Oh-one is the US, 44's the UK ♪ 40 00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:32,861 ♪ Fifty-two is Mexico, and 371 is Latvia ♪ 41 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,321 Right. Let's call Director Patten. 42 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:38,825 - Patten. - Hi. Yeah, 43 00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:40,118 it's Lola and Owen again. 44 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:42,163 I... Look, I know that we're supposed to be done, 45 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,746 and we basically pretty much are, 46 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,875 but... a text message just came in on Neri's phone 47 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,793 from someone in Latvia, and they say 48 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,795 - there's gonna be another attack. - What? 49 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,422 So, we could go to Latvia 50 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,339 - and we could... - No. 51 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:56,050 You two go back home to Brazil. We can't risk you getting hurt. 52 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,654 We have trained professionals that'll handle this sort of thing. 53 00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,139 No, but, sir, I still think we could be of some help 54 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:02,700 - here in this... - Listen here, lady. 55 00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,601 It is time for you to stop playing pretend cops 56 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,564 and get back to your hospital. That is an order. 57 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,271 But, sir, if... 58 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,428 Did you tell him I said "hello"? 59 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,443 - No. - Well, how did it go? 60 00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:17,071 Well, was it the worst phone call of my life? 61 00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:18,573 Surely not. 62 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,283 But it wasn't great. 63 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:22,577 He told us to stand down. 64 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,287 - What? - Yeah. 65 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,748 But we may be the only ones who can stop this virus. 66 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,418 Now boarding at Gate Three, flight 101 to Brazil. 67 00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:31,794 That's us. 68 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,923 And at Gate Four, flight 102 to Latvia. 69 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:38,927 Just pick one and get on board. The choice is yours. 70 00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:47,310 You know, I've always wanted an excuse to come to Riga, Latvia's capital, 71 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,812 set on the Baltic Sea at the mouth of the River Daugava. 72 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:53,191 It's considered a cultural center and home to many museums and concert halls. 73 00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:56,736 The highlight of pedestrian-only Old Town is bustling Livu Square, 74 00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:58,821 with many modern bars and nightclubs. 75 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,492 Okay, now let's get down to business. How are we gonna find this Nikolai guy? 76 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:03,700 Don't worry. 77 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,078 I called a friend. 78 00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:07,914 Excuse me, 79 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:12,085 do you know where I could find some cool, crime-fighting doctors? 80 00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:15,042 Thanks for meeting us last minute, Goldfinch. 81 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:15,922 - Yeah. - Of course, 82 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:17,590 it's just a 14-hour drive from Berlin. 83 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,759 Plus, I have the audiobook of Girl, Interrupted. 84 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,720 By the way, congratulations on solving that case. 85 00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:25,056 Three-D printers, sneaky stuff. 86 00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:26,939 Thank you, but we're not out of the woods yet. 87 00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,477 We don't know who created the virus, who ordered the attacks, 88 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,354 and we think another one might be coming. 89 00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:34,482 In fact, we're hoping you can help us find a man here in Latvia. 90 00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:36,943 This should not be too hard. Plenty of men here in Latvia. 91 00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:39,028 Tell me about it. But this one's name is Nikolai. 92 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,154 Could be part of the plot. 93 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,616 - Fucking Nikolai. I should have known. - So, you've heard of him? 94 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,827 Yes. Nikolai Balodis. 95 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:49,247 He's infamous black-market dealer. He's connected to Neri. 96 00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:52,524 - He probably brokered this thing. - Know where to find him? 97 00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:53,960 I have no idea. 98 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:57,380 But... my van does. 99 00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:58,965 Yeah! 100 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:03,511 Ten minutes to air. Ten minutes. 101 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,182 All right, coming through, guys. Hold on. 102 00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:10,810 Hey, Joel McHale. 103 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,479 - It's me, Cat. - Do we know each other? 104 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,189 We don't really, but I am the woman 105 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,193 that's been texting you pictures of her cornhole. 106 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,110 - Yes! Cat! Of course! - Yeah. 107 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,487 Yeah, I'm sorry. You never texted a picture of your face. 108 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:22,971 I know. Welcome to my face. 109 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,711 Can I just say, you have a lovely cornhole. 110 00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:26,576 Oh, God, thank you. That's very sweet. 111 00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,244 Yeah. I have to run. 112 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,246 I have to go floss my hair before the show. 113 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,081 Oh, before you go, I was just wondering, 114 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,365 can I invite you to the electrical room in five minutes? 115 00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:38,814 - So that we can have sex with each other? - I'd be thrilled to do that. 116 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,198 - Oh, you would? - Sex is very fun. 117 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,376 - Great. - See you soon, Cat. 118 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:42,424 Okay. 119 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,347 What the... 120 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,560 What's that guy doing? He's gonna ruin my fun sex with Joel McHale. 121 00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:09,786 Hi. I have this room reserved starting in five minutes. 122 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,538 Well, I have this gun reserved starting in now. 123 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:13,998 You have... Oh. 124 00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:24,035 So, if Goldfinch's van was correct, this should be Nikolai's mother's house. 125 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,301 It's the best lead we've got. 126 00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:29,013 What's with the mittens? 127 00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:32,058 Oh, in Latvia, socks and mittens are a traditional gift 128 00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,893 you give someone when visiting their home. 129 00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,645 You could Google it. It's very real. 130 00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:38,731 Oh, I had a babysitter who spoke Latvian. 131 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,734 Let me do the talking. I'm not fluent, but I can get by. 132 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:42,818 Fine. 133 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,446 Who is it? 134 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,698 Hi, Balodis lady-woman. 135 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,325 Nikolai is superfriend! 136 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,244 Please go away. 137 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,955 Nikolai is running with bad wolves. 138 00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:56,541 We are being colleagues unto him... 139 00:06:56,874 --> 00:07:00,711 much like the sun-time is best for cycling. 140 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,588 There is no Nikolai. 141 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,258 Wait, please. 142 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:06,717 Mittens are with us! 143 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,554 - Mittens! - Mittens. 144 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:13,141 Thank you. 145 00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:17,979 Make yourselves at home! 146 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:19,397 Mittens. 147 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,987 The food is almost ready! 148 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,049 Remember, the clock is ticking. 149 00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:30,741 The next attack could happen any second. 150 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,034 But this is Latvia. 151 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,163 Important discussions don't happen until the guest has a full stomach. 152 00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,373 Whatever she brings out, just eat it quickly, 153 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,334 and then we can ask questions. Okay. 154 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,003 Oh. 155 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,964 Oh. 156 00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:47,133 Warm mayo and onion salad. 157 00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:49,010 Ooh, it looks delicious. 158 00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:52,722 Who knew two of my least favorite foods could smell so good together? 159 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,265 Eat! Eat! 160 00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:57,435 Okay. 161 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:00,979 I love it. 162 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,986 What a great combination of flavors. 163 00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:13,993 So, we do have some questions about Nikolai. 164 00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:15,203 Oh! 165 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,079 Second course! 166 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,435 At least there's no water. 167 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,046 Oh... 168 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:32,512 Expressed trout glands and cabbaged pork 169 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,223 with blood pancakes and tripe paste. 170 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,683 Fuck. 171 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:43,147 I mean, fuck, this looks so good. 172 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,315 Mmm. 173 00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:47,610 - Mmm. - Oh. Ah... 174 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,324 Mm-mmm. 175 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,998 So, why don't we get down to business? 176 00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:03,125 Third course! 177 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:04,919 Oh, you've got to be kidding me. 178 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:06,796 Where's she going? 179 00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:09,423 - She's getting another course. - What? 180 00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:28,651 Wow! 181 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,695 A horse head! 182 00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:33,698 Boiled horse head, 183 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,199 cow lung soup 184 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:37,910 and a glass of fermented goat piddle. 185 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:42,039 Cool! The teeth are still in there. 186 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,417 Mmm! 187 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,717 Okay, we ate all your delicious food. 188 00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,052 Now, let's talk. 189 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,682 Nikolai's location demands our knowledge. 190 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,767 I worry about Nikolai. 191 00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:05,479 He works with dangerous people, 192 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:08,482 and he smokes unfiltered cigarettes. 193 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,152 Can you help him? 194 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,075 - Do we have to eat more horse? - No. 195 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:21,037 You can probably find him here. 196 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,246 Okay. 197 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,748 Club Klüb. 198 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,417 Each floor a mix of trance and trip-hop. 199 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:30,796 Three levels? Sounds like a club-klüb-club sandwich. 200 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:31,964 - Nice. - Thanks. 201 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:34,467 Please be careful. 202 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,594 Nikolai can see into people's souls. 203 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,889 People who lie to him have died. 204 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:42,224 Then we will not lay with him. 205 00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:44,810 I will save in my head the gift of diarrhea 206 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:48,314 you have give us in the night. 207 00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:51,317 Thank you. 208 00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,462 I don't know who you think you are, 209 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,697 but I can tell you that Mr. Joel McHale is not going to be happy about this. 210 00:10:57,531 --> 00:11:00,326 Well, I hope you're wrong. I want everyone to be happy. 211 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:05,414 And the Break a Leg applause meter will tell us just how happy they are. 212 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:09,377 Oh, no. The applause meter gauges audience enthusiasm, not how happy they are. 213 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,796 I mean, really the meter is what sets the show apart 214 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:13,756 from all the other network talent showcases. 215 00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:16,926 It's really kind of like the hook. You clearly don't understand TV very well. 216 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:19,470 Perhaps you're right. I'm more of an internet guy. 217 00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:22,056 I just love it when something goes... viral. 218 00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:24,557 Viral. 219 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,351 Tubes. 220 00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,855 The 3D printer. The ventilation system. Your gun. 221 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:33,734 Everything that Lola was saying. Break a Leg. Cornhole. 222 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:38,906 Sorry you're gonna "miss" the show. 223 00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:41,075 That's not even a pun though... 224 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,758 What's going on? 225 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,470 It's one of those silent discos where everyone's listening 226 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,472 to the same music on their headphones. 227 00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:04,837 Yeah, it's... 228 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,019 Wow, I guess I never really realized 229 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:11,147 that people fart so much while they're dancing. 230 00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:17,153 All right, let's stick to the plan. 231 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,780 - I'm gonna go talk to the bartender. - Okay. 232 00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:27,872 Hey, I'll take one of those. 233 00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:32,376 Hey, man, I'm looking for Nikolai. 234 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:33,961 I don't speak English. 235 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,423 I only know these three sentences. 236 00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:39,341 But that was two sentences. 237 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,093 This is the third one. 238 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,682 Oh, oh! Aw. 239 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:47,767 I'm so sorry. 240 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,352 I'm such a stupid tourist. Can I get another one of those? 241 00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:52,521 Excuse me, sorry, can you take off the... 242 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,815 Yeah. Does the name Nikolai mean anything to you? 243 00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:55,900 Yes, of course. 244 00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:59,570 It's the East Slavic variant of the name Nicholas, meaning "victory of the people." 245 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,535 - Hey. - Hey, check this out. 246 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:12,374 - I threw a little marker on the bartender. - So smart. 247 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:22,218 Look, one of these books must open up a secret door. 248 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:25,304 I don't know the... 249 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,014 Oh! Huh. 250 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:31,976 Huh. 251 00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:35,564 Okay, we're looking for a bald man who wears all black. 252 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,780 How do we know which one is Nikolai? 253 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,116 Nikolai! 254 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:49,828 Yes? 255 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,455 I think we found our man. 256 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:54,166 Remember, we're posing as arms dealers, we need him to trust us. 257 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,250 Yeah. 258 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,963 Do you know what happens to trespassers at Club Klüb? 259 00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:01,382 Um... they have to leave? 260 00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:02,466 They get shot. 261 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,219 I wouldn't kill us so fast, Nikolai. 262 00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:07,513 We're friends of Neri's. 263 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:12,518 Neri sent you? 264 00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:16,105 He said you might be the man to talk to if we're trying to find something... 265 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:17,982 difficult. 266 00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:19,567 And what is that? 267 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,113 Weapons-grade plutonium. 268 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:37,334 Now, what do two nice people like you need weapons-grade plutonium for? 269 00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:41,547 - That's a good question. - Yeah. 270 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,592 - Yeah. - Okay. One second. 271 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,343 - Motherfucking shit. - Oh, my God. 272 00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,679 - We're fucked. I fucked it all up. - Stop it. 273 00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:50,806 You stop it. You're doing great. Just think. 274 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,433 - Let's give up. - Stop it. 275 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:56,729 What is a weapon even used for? 276 00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:58,772 Oh, an attack. 277 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:02,109 That's it. Oh, my God, see? That was great. 278 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,445 Hey, thanks. I think you're great too. 279 00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:06,572 That thing with the mittens, I was like, 280 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:08,616 - what? - Really? Oh, my God, thank you. 281 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:12,536 We need weapons-grade plutonium for an attark. 282 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:14,246 - Attack. - Attack. 283 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,713 Your story checks out. 284 00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:23,964 Yeah. 285 00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:26,050 I think I can get you what you need, 286 00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:27,508 but only... 287 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,137 if you beat me at cards. 288 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:34,475 - I can play cards. - Okay. 289 00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:36,435 And if you lose, 290 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:38,311 Ivor... 291 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:40,939 kills you. 292 00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:43,274 Huh. 293 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:44,609 The game is... 294 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,862 deuce to nines, double draw. 295 00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:54,870 Cat? Are you in there? 296 00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:56,824 The door is locked. 297 00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:57,957 Joel! 298 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,292 If you're in there, the show's about to start, 299 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,711 but we still have time to squeeze in two or three pumps. 300 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,129 Joel McHale! 301 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,214 Cat? 302 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,717 Joel! Fun sex time! 303 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,934 One minute to curtain. One minute. 304 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,765 Well, I wanted to have sex with you because it's fun, 305 00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:16,934 but I have to go host a television show. 306 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:19,520 Keep that cornhole fit. 307 00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:23,398 No! 308 00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:26,652 No fun sex time. No pump. 309 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,821 Okay. 310 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,338 Okay, okay. 311 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:48,090 Um... what? 312 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,819 If you're reading this, you must have freed yourself, LOL. 313 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,243 Don't bother unplugging the device. 314 00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:55,097 It's set to release the virus if anyone tampers with it, LOL. 315 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,180 No! 316 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,032 Even cards are double tight. 317 00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:15,701 Back to back? Or wall to wall? 318 00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,495 Wall to wall. No sunshine. 319 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,581 Now you're speaking my language. 320 00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,786 Well played, friend. 321 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,087 Tapping trees. 322 00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,176 You should have called a rock limit 323 00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:16,136 on your kangaroo tens. 324 00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:33,487 Spinning triplets, no stash. 325 00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:36,156 Looks like you'll be cruising this one off the top. 326 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:40,744 You're clever. You just burned my blondie. 327 00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:43,956 But how do you know I don't have a double sidecar? 328 00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:47,751 How do you know I don't have a dull fun-run Jack-eyed jeweler? 329 00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:51,295 You're bluffing. 330 00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:58,010 I call. 331 00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:15,279 Hey, Cat. 332 00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:16,363 It's not over. 333 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:19,700 There's gonna be another attack tonight during the Break a Leg broadcast. 334 00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:22,202 - What? How do you know that? - Viral. Tubes. 335 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,913 Thee-D printer. Ventilation system. Cornhole, et cetera. 336 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,207 Can you unplug the printer? 337 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,042 It's booby-trapped. LOL. 338 00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:31,670 Okay, Cat, you need to stop this attack now! 339 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,755 Got it. When? 340 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:34,715 Now! 341 00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:35,924 Got it. 342 00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:44,224 Offload my bomber. 343 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,435 It's your funeral. 344 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,777 Sixteen ducks. 345 00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:57,820 All in a row. 346 00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:01,742 Quadruple pot squatters and thigh-high tulips, 347 00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:03,994 on the front side. 348 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,542 This is the end of the game, my friend. 349 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,004 And also the end of you. 350 00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:16,924 Not so fast, Nikolai. 351 00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:21,553 Read 'em and weep. 352 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:23,930 Two winks, 353 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:25,599 side by side. 354 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:29,519 Jeepers and creepers. 355 00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:31,979 You did it! 356 00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:38,487 I believe we have some business to attend to. 357 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,614 I know Neri didn't send you. 358 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,077 I know this because Neri is dead. 359 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,665 - Kill them. - So the whole card game was pointless? 360 00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:51,124 Why did we play cards? 361 00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:53,085 I had fun, didn't you? 362 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,258 Owen! 363 00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:02,594 Owen, come on! 364 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:16,566 Look, there's Nikolai. 365 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,585 Hello again, dirtbag. 366 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,302 This is a really nice van. 367 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,680 Welcome to Break a Leg. 368 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,725 Here's your host, Joel McHale. 369 00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:53,729 Hey, everybody! 370 00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:55,772 It's exciting, isn't it? 371 00:21:57,357 --> 00:21:59,109 All right, you guys know the deal. 372 00:21:59,192 --> 00:22:01,903 If you get that applause meter up to ten... 373 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:02,987 Oh, shit. 374 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:05,532 ...that performer is going to Vegas! 375 00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,841 The printer is rigged to the applause meter. 376 00:22:25,969 --> 00:22:28,513 Oh, you guys can do better than that, I bet. 377 00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:31,892 This audience is gonna cheer themselves into the grave. 378 00:22:31,975 --> 00:22:35,937 ...a pediatrician from New York City currently residing in Brazil. 379 00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:39,608 Please give a warm welcome to Cat Black! 380 00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:57,834 Oh, look at her go. 381 00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:16,937 I've got to keep the applause meter low, 382 00:23:17,437 --> 00:23:21,483 because if it goes high and the virus is released, that would be bad. 383 00:23:27,989 --> 00:23:29,074 What the fuck? 384 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,291 I did it. It's working. 385 00:23:38,917 --> 00:23:41,878 I stopped the attack. This is great... 386 00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:46,675 Oh, my gosh. 387 00:23:46,758 --> 00:23:50,095 Well, we all sure hope that she is okay. 388 00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:53,014 She is not getting up. 389 00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:01,773 Is she... Is she okay? 390 00:24:04,901 --> 00:24:06,141 She's gonna be all right! 391 00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:13,785 Wow! Look at that! Somebody's going to Vegas! 392 00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:23,336 What? Hey! 393 00:24:27,883 --> 00:24:29,176 All right. 394 00:24:29,259 --> 00:24:30,677 We'll be right back. Okay. 395 00:24:32,929 --> 00:24:34,389 We need answers, Nikolai! 396 00:24:35,932 --> 00:24:37,601 Nikolai, give them answers! 397 00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:40,687 How do you know another attack is coming? Who told you? 398 00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:44,649 - Neri is dead. - Yeah. 399 00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:47,319 So who's behind this? We want answers! 400 00:24:49,112 --> 00:24:50,113 He will say nothing. 401 00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:52,741 We'll see about that. Lola? 402 00:24:56,995 --> 00:24:57,996 Ow! 403 00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:02,751 I just injected three cc's of Tractadone into your veins. 404 00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:04,294 You'll be dead in one minute. 405 00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:05,629 I'll keep track of time. 406 00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:09,257 This will reverse it. 407 00:25:09,549 --> 00:25:10,759 So start talking. 408 00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:12,510 No. 409 00:25:12,928 --> 00:25:13,928 Forty-six! 410 00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:15,347 Forty-five! 411 00:25:15,430 --> 00:25:17,270 Right now your nervous system is shutting down. 412 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,309 Thirty-seven! Thirty-six! 413 00:25:19,392 --> 00:25:21,269 That pain that you're feeling right now? 414 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:22,729 That's the alveoli in your lungs 415 00:25:22,812 --> 00:25:24,856 - collapsing in on themselves. - Ooh. 416 00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:26,525 Sixteen! Fifteen! 417 00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:28,485 Tell him to stop skipping numbers! 418 00:25:28,568 --> 00:25:31,488 Nine! Eight! Seven! 419 00:25:31,571 --> 00:25:33,740 - Okay, okay. I'll talk. Give me shot. - Six! Five! 420 00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:37,827 Who's behind the attack? 421 00:25:37,911 --> 00:25:40,163 - I don't know. - Oh, no? 422 00:25:40,247 --> 00:25:41,373 Okay, okay. 423 00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:48,046 All I know... the creator of the virus is about to deliver the cure to the buyer. 424 00:25:48,505 --> 00:25:49,505 Why? 425 00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:54,386 Probably to protect themselves in case the outbreak goes worldwide. 426 00:25:55,720 --> 00:26:00,517 They meet in two days in Shanghai, 4:00 p.m. local time. 427 00:26:01,268 --> 00:26:05,564 Each will be wearing a red hat to identify themselves. 428 00:26:06,606 --> 00:26:09,317 Okay, okay. Well, that's perfect. 429 00:26:09,526 --> 00:26:13,113 We go to Shanghai, we arrest the bad guys, and we get the cure. 430 00:26:14,239 --> 00:26:15,448 So, I'm free to go? 431 00:26:16,866 --> 00:26:18,368 Well... 432 00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:28,586 Bye, Goldfinch! 433 00:26:28,962 --> 00:26:30,463 Always great to see you guys. 434 00:26:33,925 --> 00:26:35,302 So tell me more about Riga. 435 00:26:35,385 --> 00:26:39,389 Oh, well, Riga's historical center is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, 436 00:26:39,472 --> 00:26:41,725 noted for its art nouveau architecture. 437 00:26:45,854 --> 00:26:48,023 And now a breaking news special report. 438 00:26:48,148 --> 00:26:51,526 Thousands of audience members at tonight's Break a Leg show 439 00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:54,946 were exposed to what appears to be the São Paulo virus. 440 00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:57,616 Authorities were unable to contain the outbreak. 441 00:26:57,699 --> 00:27:00,201 The virus has begun to spread out of control. 442 00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:02,287 It's pretty fucked up.31877

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.