Original subtitles

We're not gonna make it!

Find the ripcord!

Pull!

Who are you?

- We're American doctors. - And also apparently now cops.

Yeah. It's a big concept.

- We're still wrapping our heads around... - Get on your knees.

You have no idea how much trouble you're in.

- What? - You'll be placed under arrest and held

without bail until trial, which could be months from now.

Then I will personally see to it

that you're prosecuted and sent to prison for many years.

You have no idea

the hell your life is about to become.

Oh, God.

All of which is precisely what I will be saying

if you ever do anything like this again. Do you understand?

- Yes, sir! - Yes!

Then you are free to go.

Oh!

- Great! - Thank you so much!

- They're so nice! - Yeah.

We should get out of here before they find the body under the parachute.

Yes.

Sorry I was crying.

Is everyone here German?

Okay, so this is it. The site of the second outbreak.

German Ministry of Technology.

More like the German Ministry of Sicknology.

At least today, because of the virus.

You get it?

So all the workers have been quarantined?

Yeah. If we can confirm that they have the São Paulo virus,

we're almost definitely looking at a terror attack.

Well, fingers crossed they're all just dying from something normal, you know,

like malnutrition or drowning.

What am I looking for exactly?

That.

That's the same rash that we saw in São Paulo.

Her blood work confirms it. Owen, this is the same virus.

We have to figure out how it got here. I just don't really know how to start.

We had a trick we used to use on the force.

- Yeah? - Keep an eye out for anyone that looks...

suspicious.

Excuse me, do you know who that guy is?

That's Hassim. One of our interns.

He brings coffee every morning.

Okay. I...

We got a runner!

- I'm going after him! - All right, wait, wait, Owen, hold on!

He was clearly acting guilty, right?

We're not, like, making a leap based on his presumed...

ethnicity or religion?

I actually had the same thought,

but I really think that he's our most likely suspect...

- Okay. - ...okay? That said,

very glad to be having this conversation.

- I'm going! See if he left anything! - Will do.

Got you, you son of a bitch!

Hey, have you found him?

Yeah.

- I'm tailing him now. - Oh!

Oh, I found his ID and date book. Full name:

Hassim Nazari.

Oh, and he was in Brazil.

What?

He brought the virus from Brazil to Berlin!

Owen, it's all here!

From São Paulo to today's attack to...

Oh, my God.

10:00 p.m. tonight.

Boom.

Owen, do not lose him. Stay close.

I will. Don't worry.

This terrorist is going down!

But, hey, look,

can you just go with me for a second on this little thought experiment?

Let's just say that we were tailing a young Caucasian man, okay?

And let's say his name was Brett.

Would we be as certain of Brett's guilt?

Okay, okay.

Well, Brett would be acting suspicious.

Brett would have incriminating evidence in his bag,

ergo, Brett would leave me no choice

but to assume the worst.

- Right? - Yes!

In fact, I might be even more inclined to suspect Brett,

given how loathe I am

to paint people from different cultures with a broad brush.

Still, as much as we want to believe that our motives are pure,

we have to remember that we are coming from a place of privilege.

I'm so glad we're talking about this.

Oh, shit! He just saw me.

Okay, he's going into a market. I'm gonna follow him.

A market?

Shopping! Obviously I'm kidding. I'm on my way.

Where is he?

- This is a good price. - No, thank you.

- Very, very good price. Please. - Thank you.

I really don't have time to haggle with you people.

No, thank you. Thank you very much.

Fine, I have 24 dollars. What is it that you're selling me?

- Hey. - Where are you?

I spotted him! I gotta go.

- Hey, where is he? - He couldn't have gotten far.

- Let's go that way. - Okay.

Whoa!

Okay, take it easy.

Don't do anything crazy.

I respect mimes.

This is me walking away.

Dankeschön.

Come on! Come on! He went that way!

There he is!

Stop, Hassim! It's over!

- Hey! What the hell? - What is happening?

- Ow! - Who are you guys?

Who are you?

- We're American doctors. - Based in Brazil.

What did you do to McIntyre?

- What? - Where is she?

She's dead.

Yeah. She saved our lives.

But she didn't make it.

This is very sad.

Could you give me ten seconds, please?

Yes?

Are you okay?

Please, just ten seconds. But uninterrupted, okay?

Now I have to start over.

- Just let us know... - Please, jus...

Just give me time to grieve. That's all.

Okay.

Boom.

I'm done.

My apologies for the kidnapping, okay?

When I hear that McIntyre went missing,

you know, I assumed someone betrayed her. I have to make sure it's not you, right?

- Yeah, sure. - So what are your names?

- Uh, I'm Owen. - Lola.

- Lola. - And you are?

They call me the Goldfinch.

- The what? - Goldfinch.

And... you work for McIntyre?

No. No. I work for myself.

And for everyone.

But for no one.

I mean, for my country.

And for yours too.

- Thank you. - And for the entire world.

But for myself. I already said myself?

- Yeah. - Anyway, but yes.

My best days were spent working side by side with McIntyre.

There's three people in this world I trusted,

and Sloane McIntyre was one of them.

You know the other two?

No, I have no idea.

You want to try to guess?

- Oh, um, I mean... - We don't know who you know.

Or not. It doesn't... Whatever.

One of them is named Susan Curtis,

the other is a guy by the name of Herman Gibbs.

Anyways, I think we're all set here, guys. They seem okay.

As usual, great kidnapping. Okay, go, go.

And email me your time cards, okay? All right, you guys are the best!

I love these guys. They are police.

So...

any friend of McIntyre is a friend of the Goldfinch.

Now I want you to tell me everything that has happened so I may help you.

Okay, uh, well,

we were chasing a terror suspect who was probably transporting

a never-before-seen deadly virus

and, uh, then you kidnapped us right before we could apprehend him.

I, so... I...

I see, so I got... It's my fault.

- Uh, water under the bridge. - I mean...

Things happen.

This is like Guam all over again.

McIntyre mentioned Guam. What happened there?

Let me put it to you like this...

Guam was like Nicaragua...

times five.

And if this virus is half as bad as McIntyre says it is,

it's gonna be like Guam times 100.

- You do the math. - Okay,

a thousand Nicaraguas?

Five hundred Nicaraguas. But still very bad.

- It's 500, yeah. - Yes.

- I was gonna say 500. - You were?

Well, you should've.

Maybe we should focus on nabbing our suspect.

- Right. - Yes, what's his name?

- Okay, Hassim Nazari. - Got him!

Wow! You are fast!

What? You think this van is just some driving around machine? No way.

Okay, I do quick background check on him.

He's not on any watch list. Here is something.

- What is it? - Oh, see,

he take a lot of money from a cash machine in the Sinale.

The Sinale?

Yes, it's a Muslim neighborhood. Locals call it Arab Street.

- Oh. - Oh.

Okay, uh, listen, we just want you to know that we didn't see Hassim and go,

"Oh! There's an Arab. That's our guy!"

Of course, I know that.

The point is we're not looking to catch a Muslim terrorist,

we're looking to catch a terrorist, whatever color he...

- Or she! - Or she! Great catch, Owen...

Turns out to be.

- You know? - It's okay.

- We're not racist. - Yeah.

- Okay. - All right.

I'm going to tap into the city's traffic camera system.

- See if we can find him. - Whoa!

Where are you, Hassim?

We've located the plane, sir. It went down

in a secluded area 200 miles outside Berlin.

My God. No one could survive that.

Not even Gloria Gaynor, her indomitable spirit notwithstanding.

Terry, you were on the ground in São Paulo.

Anything suspicious about those two doctors?

Oh, I don't think they were involved.

They were really nice to me.

The lady doctor taught us how viruses work using a hula hoop.

Someone did not want McIntyre to reach the Berlin outbreak site.

Do you think the terrorist is still in Berlin?

I do, but not for long. Another city will be next.

These attacks will not stop until we stop them.

Why don't they make the whole plane

out of the same stuff they make the black box out of?

Actually, there are a bunch of reasons. Black boxes are made from titanium.

A plane made out of that would be way too heavy to fly

- with any... - Shut the fuck up, Terry.

I have good news and I have bad news.

Good news is: I'm getting married.

- Oh, my gosh! Congratulations! - Come on!

Yes, it's so many emotions, really.

It's everything. But it's June 21st, so...

just keep it open.

- No obligation. I understand. - That's so nice.

Okay, the bad news is our man Hassim

has bought a one-way ticket to New York City.

10:00 p.m., boom.

Wait...

He's using his cell phone. Watch me triangulate his signal.

It's amazing, right?

- Yeah, it's an actual triangle. - I mean not to brag,

- but it's incredible. - Computers...

Ten years ago, this'd take 50 people.

I got him!

Looks like Hassim is on his way to the airport.

I'll alert Tactical Response.

I just wish I knew how to hack into military spy satellites.

- Damn it! - Yeah, that would be cool.

- Of course I can do this! - Oh!

- Come on! - You don't think I can do this?

- Of course you can! - Are you serious?

- You are fucking with us! - Watch this. Look.

You see this?

This is Madonna's backyard of her house in Los Angeles.

- No. - Yes.

- Shouldn't be looking at that. - I've never seen her outside.

Why is there a camera pointed at Madonna's house?

Because they're very afraid she's going to release another album.

That's a sick burn. I'm sorry. I know. I know.

But no one is safe from the Goldfinch, not even the Queen of Pop!

Maybe we can focus on apprehending Hassim?

Well, every party has a pooper scooper.

You are it.

Let's go!

Okay, he's two blocks east of here.

Let's go.

Hey, hey!

- Take these. - I don't know how to shoot.

- That's okay. - What?

Bye.

I've got guns!

But... no one closed the door for me. This is so...

Move! Move, move, move!

Get down!

End of the line, Hassim!

Shooting is easy! See?

Oh, this one's broken!

- Let me see those hands! - I'm sorry!

I had to do it!

Show me your hands! Your hands! What's in the sweatshirt?

- Yeah, come on! - It's something bad.

I made it. I used it twice.

- And I'm going to use it again. - It's the virus!

Don't do it! Don't, Hassim!

Oh, my God.

What is that? Is that a weapon?

Is that...

Is that a... a pocket pussy?

Why are you asking me? But yeah.

Looks like a pretty good one too. Look at the detail on those outer folds.

Anyway, give me something for his arm.

Right, um, give me that bottle.

And can I have your scarf?

Where's the virus, Hassim?

- What virus? - Don't play dumb. What are you hiding?

- Yeah! - Okay.

Okay, okay.

The truth is: I am a virgin.

Wait, what?

It's true, it's true, it...

My girlfriend has had many lovers before me,

and... and this is why I printed the silicone vagina,

so I could practice before we finally made love, okay?

Uh-oh.

I know I wasn't supposed to use the 3D printer

at work for my recreational purposes.

So...

- just tell me how much trouble I'm in! - Yeah, but we have your date book.

So why did you write Brazil on the same day as the São Paulo attack?

Well, of course it's going to say that.

I am not going to lose my virginity with a hairy penis and butthole.

A Brazilian.

I am pretty sure it's called a Brazil.

Okay, but why did you write "payback," huh?

Payback time?

Well, it says that every Tuesday.

That is when I get reimbursed

for bringing the coffee in.

Look, look. It says it every Tuesday. Every Tuesday.

- What about "10:00 p.m. boom"? - Right! Yeah?

That is when I was finally going to have sex.

Boom!

Ugh!

Wait! But we've seen your credit card statement!

And we know that you purchased a one-way ticket to New York for tonight.

- What? - Got him!

Wait, wait, wait.

This was probably my... my father.

We share the same account, and...

and he always used to say he was going to leave us

and move to New York, and...

But I never thought that he would actually go through with it.

Bastard!

This is going to crush my mother.

What a terrible day this has turned out to be.

Um...

I... I feel that we may have really messed up on that one.

Yeah, I'm with you.

Hassim!

- Um... Yeah, this is kinda funny. - This is very funny.

You know, we actually thought you were a terrorist.

- Because I'm Muslim? - No!

- What? No. - No!

- Oh, my God. No! - No.

If anything, in spite of that fact. No.

Trust us, we have had precisely that conversation.

Absolutely, and we're also not suggesting

that there is a simple one size fits all solution for these problems.

This is the kind of dialogue we should all be having.

- Thank you. - And that's exactly

- what we've been saying. - I agree.

It's a give and take.

- It's a give and take. - It's for everybody.

For all of us.

Hi.

Um, thank God.

Listen, so, we shot him.

But we also saved his life, so it kinda evens out.

Hassim, I'd keep that arm elevated for the rest of the day.

And you've probably been exposed to a deadly virus,

so you'll wanna check that out.

- Great. Thank you. Have a wonderful day. - Great job, everybody.

- Whoops! - We're terrible at this.

You know,

there's something about this whole situation that just doesn't make sense.

Like, according to reports from the outbreak sites,

the virus appeared in Berlin only five hours after Brazil. I'm...

- Hey, you got cable? - Oh, yeah.

Not even Ryan Reynolds could make this van wilder.

How could the virus make it from here to Brazil that quickly?

The fastest flight is 12 hours.

Wait a second...

Time zones!

Berlin is exactly five hours ahead of Brazil!

- Lola... - No,

the reason that we can't trace the path of the virus is because there is no path.

Somehow it appeared in both cities simultaneously.

No, it didn't.

It appeared in five cities simultaneously.

The mysterious virus is now being reported in São Paulo,

Berlin, Vancouver, Tel Aviv, and Johannesburg.

Authorities fear this outbreak

may be a part of a highly coordinated bioterror attack,

with the potential to kill thousands.

Or even tens of hundreds.

And next up, another beef from humorist Jim Davidson!

I have a new relationship in my life, and it's with the snooze button...

Oh, my God, it's a worldwide terrorism attack.

Wait, I know who might be able to help us.

Goldfinch, can you get us to the airport quickly?

I feel like, if anything, I have over-explained how great this van is.

No more planes. People on planes try to kill us.

Owen, all of those people are dead.