All language subtitles for Inglourious Bastards.2009.1080p.BrRip.x264.YIFY

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Chapter One

Once upon a time...

in Nazi-occupied France

Go back inside and shut the door.

Julie, get me some
water for my wash up...

...then get inside with your sisters.

Ready, Papa.

Thank you, my darling...

...now you go inside with your sisters.

Don't run.

Is this the property
of Perrier LaPadite?

I am Perrier LaPadite.

It is a pleasure to meet
you, Monsieur LaPadite...

...I am Colonel Hans Landa of the SS.

What can I do for you?

I was hoping you could
invite me inside your home...

...and we may have a discussion.

Certainly. After you.

Colonel Landa, this is my family.

Colonel Hans Landa of the SS...

...Mademoiselle...

...at your service.

The rumors I have heard in the
village about your family are all true.

Each one of your daughters
is more lovely than the last.

Merci.

Please...

...have a seat.

Suzanne, would you be so good
as to get the Colonel some wine?

But no.

Merci beaucoup, Monsieur
LaPadite, but no wine.

This being a dairy farm, one would
be safe in assuming you have milk?

Oui.

Then milk is what I prefer.

Very well.

Julie, would you mind
closing the window?

Merci.

Monsieur, to both your
family and your cows...

...I say, "Bravo."

Thank you.

Please join me at your table.

Very well.

Monsieur LaPadite...

...what we have to discuss would
be better discussed in private.

You'll notice I left my men outdoors.

If it wouldn't offend them, could you
ask your lovely ladies to step outside?

You are right.

Charlotte, would you
take the girls outside?

The Colonel and I need
to have a few words.

Monsieur LaPadite...

...I regret to inform you I've
exhausted the extent of my French.

To continue to speak it so inadequately
would only serve to embarrass me.

However, I've been led to believe
you speak English quite well.

Yes.

Well, it just so happens, I do
as well. This being your house...

...I ask your permission
to switch to English...

...for the remainder
of the conversation.

By all means.

While I'm very familiar
with you and your family,

I have no way of knowing if
you are familiar with who I am.

Are you aware of my existence?

- Yes.
- This is good.

Now, are you aware of the job I've
been ordered to carry out in France?

Yes.

Please tell me what you've heard.

I've heard

that the F�hrer has put you in charge
of rounding up the Jews left in France

who are either hiding
or passing for Gentile.

The F�hrer couldn't have
said it better himself.

But the meaning of your visit,

pleasant though it is,
is mysterious to me.

The Germans looked through my house
nine months ago for hiding Jews

and found nothing.

I'm aware of that.

I've read the reports of this area.

But like any enterprise,
when under new management,

there is always a slight
duplication of efforts,

most of it being a complete waste of
time, but needs to be done nevertheless.

I just have a few
questions, monsieur LaPadite.

If you can assist me with answers,

my department can close
the file on your family.

Now,

before the occupation, there were
four Jewish families in this area,

all dairy farmers like yourself.

Doleracs, Rollins, the Loveitts

and the Dreyfuses.

Is that correct?

To my knowledge,

those were the Jewish families
among the dairy farmers.

Herr Colonel, would it disturb
you if I smoked my pipe?

Please, monsieur LaPadite,

this is your house, make
yourself comfortable.

Now, according to these papers,

all the Jewish families in this
area have been accounted for

except the Dreyfuses.

Somewhere in the last year it
would appear they've vanished.

Which leads me to the conclusion that
they've either made good their escape

or someone is very
successfully hiding them.

What have you heard about the
Dreyfuses, monsieur LaPadite?

- Only rumors.
- I love rumors!

Facts could be so misleading,

where rumors, true or
false, are often revealing.

So, monsieur LaPadite,

what rumors have you heard
regarding the Dreyfuses?

Again, this is just a rumor,

but we heard the Dreyfuses
had made their way into Spain.

So, the rumors you've
heard have been of escape?

Yes.

Having never met the Dreyfuses,
would you confirm for me

the exact members of the
household and their names?

There were five of them.

The father, Jacob.

Wife, Miram.

And her brother, Bob.

How old is Bob?

Thirty, 31.

Continue.

And the children,

Amos

and Shosanna.

Ages of the children?

Amos was nine or 10.

- And Shosanna?
- And Shosanna was

18 or 19. I'm not really sure.

Well, I guess that should do it.

However, before I go, could I have
another glass of your delicious milk?

But of course.

Monsieur LaPadite,

are you aware of the nickname the
people of France have given me?

I have no interest in such things.

But you are aware of what they call me.

I'm aware.

What are you aware of?

- That they call you "The Jew Hunter."
- Precisely.

I understand your
trepidation in repeating it.

Heydrich apparently hates the moniker

the good people of Prague
have bestowed on him.

Actually, why he would hate the
name "the Hangman" is baffling to me.

It would appear he has done
everything in his power to earn it.

Now I, on the other hand,
love my unofficial title

precisely because I've earned it.

The feature that makes me such an
effective hunter of the Jews is,

as opposed to most German soldiers,

I can think like a Jew

where they can only think like a German.

More precisely, a German soldier.

Now, if one were to determine what attribute
the German people share with a beast,

it would be the cunning and the
predatory instinct of a hawk.

But if one were to determine what
attributes the Jews share with a beast,

it would be that of the rat.

The F�hrer and Goebbels' propaganda
have said pretty much the same thing.

But where our conclusions differ,

is I don't consider the
comparison an insult.

Consider for a moment
the world a rat lives in.

It's a hostile world, indeed.

If a rat were to scamper through
your front door, right now,

would you greet it with hostility?

I suppose I would.

Has a rat ever done anything to you to
create this animosity you feel toward them?

Rats spread disease. They bite people.

Rats were the cause of the bubonic
plague, but that's some time ago.

I propose to you any
disease a rat could spread,

a squirrel could equally carry.

Would you agree?

Yet, I assume you don't share
the same animosity with squirrels

- that you do with rats, do you?
- No.

Yet, they're both rodents, are they not?

And except for the tail, they
even rather look alike, don't they?

It's an interesting
thought, Herr Colonel.

However interesting
as the thought may be,

it makes not one bit of
difference to how you feel.

If a rat were to walk in
here, right now, as I'm talking

would you greet it with a
saucer of your delicious milk?

Probably not.

I didn't think so.

You don't like them.

You don't really know
why you don't like them.

All you know is you find them repulsive.

Consequently, a German
soldier conducts a search

of a house suspected of hiding Jews.

Where does the hawk look?

He looks in the barn, he looks in
the attic, he looks in the cellar,

he looks everywhere he would hide.

But there are so many places it
would never occur to a hawk to hide.

However, the reason the F�hrer has
brought me off my Alps in Austria

and placed me in French cow country
today is because it does occur to me.

Because I'm aware what tremendous
feats human beings are capable of

once they abandon dignity.

May I smoke my pipe as well?

Please, Herr Colonel,
make yourself at home.

Now, my job dictates

that I must have my men enter your home

and conduct a thorough search

before I can officially cross
your family's name off my list.

And if there are any irregularities
to be found, rest assured they will be.

That is unless you have
something to tell me

that makes the conducting
of a search unnecessary.

I might add, also, that any information

that makes the performance of my duty
easier will not be met with punishment.

Actually, quite the contrary.
It will be met with reward.

And that reward will be,

your family will cease
to be harassed in any way

by the German military during the
rest of our occupation of your country.

You're sheltering enemies
of the state, are you not?

Yes.

You're sheltering them underneath
your floorboards, aren't you?

Yes.

Point out to me the areas
where they're hiding.

Since I haven't heard any disturbance,

I assume, while they're listening,
they don't speak English.

Yes.

I'm going to switch back to French now,
and I want you to follow my masquerade.

Is that clear?

Yes.

Monsieur LaPadite...

...I thank you for the milk...

...and your hospitality.

I do believe our business here is done.

Ah, ladies.

I thank you for your time.

We shan't be bothering
your family any longer.

So, Monsieur...

...Mademoiselle.

I bid farewell to you and say...

...adieu.

It's the girl.

Au revoir, Shosanna!

Chapter Two

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

Ten-hut!

My name is Lieutenant Aldo Raine.

And I'm putting together a special
team, and I need me eight soldiers.

Eight Jewish American soldiers.

Now, you all might've heard rumors
about the armada happening soon.

Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier.

We're going to be dropped into
France dressed as civilians.

Once we're in enemy territory,

as a bushwhacking guerrilla army,

we're going to be doing one
thing and one thing only.

Killing Nazis.

I don't know about you all,

but I sure as hell didn't come down
from the goddamn Smoky Mountains,

cross 5,000 miles of water, fight
my way through half of Sicily

and jump out of a fucking airplane to
teach the Nazis lessons in humanity.

Nazi ain't got no humanity.

They're the foot soldiers of a
Jew-hating, mass-murdering maniac

and they need to be destroyed.

That's why any and every son of a
bitch we find wearing a Nazi uniform,

they're going to die.

Now, I'm the direct descendent
of the mountain man Jim Bridger.

That means I got a little Indian in me.

And our battle plan will be
that of an Apache resistance.

We will be cruel to the Germans.

And through our cruelty,
they will know who we are.

And they will find the
evidence of our cruelty

in the disemboweled, dismembered

and disfigured bodies of their
brothers we leave behind us.

And the German won't be
able to help themselves

but imagine the cruelty their
brothers endured at our hands,

and our boot heels and
the edge of our knives.

And the German will be sickened by us.

And the German will talk about us.

And the German will fear us.

And when the German
closes their eyes at night

and they're tortured by their
subconscious for the evil they have done,

it will be with thoughts of
us that they are tortured with.

Sound good?

Yes, sir!
- Yes, sir!

That's what I like to hear.

But I got a word of warning
for all you would-be warriors.

When you join my command,
you take on debit.

A debit you owe me, personally.

Each and every man under my
command owes me 100 Nazi scalps.

And I want my scalps.

And all y'all will get me 100 Nazi scalps
taken from the heads of 100 dead Nazis.

Or you will die trying!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

How much more of these
Jew swine must I endure?

They butcher my men
like they were flies!

Do you know the latest
rumor they've conjured up

in their fear-induced delirium?

The one...

...that beats my boys with a bat!

The one they call "The Bear Jew"...

...is a Golem!

My F�hrer, this is
just soldiers' gossip.

No one really believes
"The Bear Jew" is a Golem.

Why not?

They seem to be able to elude
capture like an apparition.

They seem to be able to
appear and disappear at will.

You want to prove
they're flesh and blood?

Then bring them to me!

I will hang them naked, by their
heels, from the Eiffel Tower!

And then throw their
bodies in the sewers...

...for the rats of Paris to feast!

Kliest!

Yes, my F�hrer!

I have an order I want relayed to all
German soldiers stationed in France.

The Jew degenerate
known as "The Bear Jew",

henceforth, is never to be
referred to as The Bear Jew again.

Yes, my F�hrer!

Do you still wish to see Private Butz?

Who and what is a Private Butz?

He's the soldier you
wanted to see personally.

His squad was ambushed
by Lt. Raine's Jews.

He was its only survivor.

Indeed, I do want to see him.
Thank you for reminding me.

Send him in.

Sergeant Rachtmann, Ludwig and I

were the only ones left
alive after the ambush.

While one man guarded us,
the rest removed the hair.

Hey, Hirschberg.

Send that Kraut sarge over.

You. Go.

Sergeant Werner Rachtman.

Lieutenant Aldo Raine.
Pleased to meet you.

You know what "sit down" means, Werner?

- Yes.
- Then sit down.

How is your English, Werner?

Because if need be, we got a
couple of fellows who can translate.

Wicki here,

an Austrian-Jew, got the fuck out
of Munich while the getting was good.

Became American, got drafted,
come back to give y'all what for.

Another one up there you
might be familiar with.

Sergeant Hugo Stiglitz.

Heard of him?

Everybody in the German Army
has heard of Hugo Stiglitz.

The reason for Hugo Stiglitz's celebrity

among German soldiers is simple.

As a German-enlisted man, he
killed 13 Gestapo officers.

Instead of putting
him up against a wall,

the High Command decided
to send him back to Berlin

to be made an example of.

Needless to say, once the
Basterds heard about him,

he never got there.

Sergeant Hugo Stiglitz?

Lieutenant Aldo Raine.
These are the Basterds.

Ever heard of us?

We just want to say we're
a big fan of your work.

When it comes to killing Nazis,

I think you show great talent.

And I pride myself for having
an eye for that kind of talent.

But your status as a Nazi
killer is still amateur.

We all come here to see
if you want to go pro.

Can I assume you know who we are?

You're Aldo the Apache.

Werner, if you heard of us,

you probably heard we ain't in
the prisoner-taking business.

We in the killing Nazi business,
and, cousin, business is a-booming.

Oh, yeah.

Now, that leaves two
ways we can play this out.

Either kill you or let you go.

Whether or not you're going
to leave this ditch alive

depends entirely on you.

Up the road a piece, there's an orchard.

Besides you, we know there's another
Kraut patrol fucking around here somewhere.

If that patrol were to
have any crack shots,

that orchard would be a
goddamn sniper's delight.

So if you ever want to eat
a sauerkraut sandwich again,

you got to show me on this
here map where they are.

You got to tell me how many
they are, and you got to tell me

what kind of artillery
they're carrying with them.

You can't expect me to divulge information
that would put German lives in danger.

Well, now, Werner, that's where you're
wrong, because that's exactly what I expect.

I need to know about
Germans hiding in trees.

And you need to tell me. And
you need to tell me right now.

Now, just take that finger of yours

and point out on this here map
where this party is being held,

how many is coming and what
they brought to play with.

I respectfully refuse, sir.

Hear that?

Yes.

That's Sergeant Donny Donowitz.

You might know him
better by his nickname.

The Bear Jew.

Now, if you heard ofAldo the Apache,
you got to have heard about The Bear Jew.

- I heard of The Bear Jew.
- What did you hear?

Beats German soldiers with a club.

He bashes their brains in with
a baseball bat, what he does.

And, Werner, I'm going to
ask you one last goddamn time,

and if you still respectfully
refuse, I'm calling The Bear Jew over.

He's going to take that big bat of his,

and he's going to beat
your ass to death with it.

Now, take your
Wiener-schnitzel-licking finger,

and point out on this
map what I want to know.

Fuck you.

And your Jew dogs.

Actually, Werner, we're all
tickled to hear you say that.

Quite frankly, watching
Donny beat Nazis to death

is the closest we ever get
to going to the movies. Donny!

Yeah?

Got us a German here who
wants to die for country.

Oblige him.

Did you get that for killing Jews?

Bravery.

Yeah!

Oh, no!

Donny!

Yeah, Donny!

About now I'd be shitting
my pants if I was you.

Teddy Fucking Williams
knocks it out of the park!

Fenway Park is on its feet
for Teddy Fucking Ballgame!

He went yard on that one, on
to fucking Lansdowne Street!

You!

Damn it, Hirschberg!

Donny, bring that other
one over here. Alive!

Get the fuck up! Batter
up. You're on deck!

Two hits. I hit you, you hit the ground.

English?

Wicki.

Ask him if he wants to live.

Tell him to point out on
this map the German position.

Ask him how many Germans.

Around about 12.

What kind of artillery?

How did you survive this ordeal?

They let me go.

Now, when you report what happened here,

you can't tell them you told us
what you told us. They'll shoot you.

They're going to want to know why
you so special, we let you live.

So tell them, we let you live so you
could spread the word through the ranks

what's going to happen
to every Nazi we find.

You are not to tell anybody
anything. Not one word of detail!

Your outfit was ambushed,
and you got away!

Not one word more!

Yes, my F�hrer.

Did they mark you like they
did the other survivors?

Yes, my F�hrer.

Now that you've survived the war, when
you get home, what you going to do?

I will hug my mother like
I've never hugged her before.

He's going to hug his mother.

Well, ain't that nice?

Ask if he's going to
take off his uniform.

Not only shall I remove
it, but I intend to burn it.

He's going to burn it.

Yeah, that's what we
thought. We don't like that.

See, we like our Nazis in uniforms.
That way you can spot them.

Just like that.

But you take off that uniform, ain't
nobody going to know you's a Nazi.

And that don't sit well with us.

So I'm going to give you a little
something you can't take off.

You know, Lieutenant, you're
getting pretty good at that.

You know how you get to
Carnegie Hall, don't you?

Practice.

Chapter Three

GERMAN NIGHT IN PARIS

JUNE

What starts tomorrow?

A Max Linder festival.

I always preferred Linder to Chaplin.

Except Linder never made
a film as good as "The Kid."

The chase climax of "The Kid", superb.

I adore your cinema very much.

Merci.

Is it yours?

Do I own it?

Oui.

Oui.

How is it a girl as young
as you owns a cinema?

My aunt left it to me.

Merci for hosting a German night.

I don't have a choice...

...but you're welcome.

I love the Riefenstahl mountain films...

...especially Piz Pal�.

It's nice to see a French girl
who's an admirer of Riefenstahl.

"Admire" would not really
be the word I would use...

...to describe my feelings
towards Fr�ulein Riefenstahl.

But you do admire the
director Pabst, don't you?

That's why you include
his name on the marquee...

...when you didn't have to.

I'm French. We respect
directors in our country.

Even Germans.

Even Germans, oui.

Merci for your
assistance, soldier. Adieu.

You're not finished.

I'll finish in the morning.

May I ask your name?

You wish to see my papers?

Emmanuelle Mimieux.

That's a very pretty name.

Merci.

Are you finished with my papers?

Mademoiselle, may I introduce myself...

...Fredrick Zoller.

Well...

...it's been a pleasure chatting
with a fellow cinema lover.

Sweet dreams, mademoiselle.

Adieu.

Hello, mademoiselle.

May I join you?

Look, Fredrick...

You remember my name?

Yes.

Look, you seem a
pleasant enough fellow...

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Regardless, I want you
to stop pestering me.

I apologize, mademoiselle...

...I wasn't trying to be a pest.

I was simply trying to be friendly.

I don't wish to be your friend.

Why not?

Don't act like an infant. You know why.

I'm more than just a uniform.

Not to me.

If you are so desperate
for a French girlfriend...

...I suggest you try Vichy.

Who are you?

I thought I was just a uniform.

You're not just a German soldier.

Are you somebody's son?

Most German soldiers are somebody's son.

You're a very lucky girl,
catching a brave war hero.

No, no, no, no, the mademoiselle
is not my girlfriend.

Can you write "Amour Babette"?

So you're a war hero.

What did you do?

I was alone in a bell
tower in a walled off city.

It was myself and a thousand
rounds of ammo, in a bird's nest...

...against three hundred enemy soldiers.

What's a bird's nest?

A bird's nest is what a
sniper would call a bell tower.

It's a high structure, offering a
three hundred and sixty degree view.

Very advantageous for marksmen.

How many did you kill?

Sixty-eight.

The first day.

A hundred and fifty...

...the second day.

Thirty-two the third day.

On the fourth day they exited the city.

Naturally, my war story received
a lot of attention in Germany...

...that's why they all recognize me.

They call me the German Sergeant York.

Maybe they'll make a
film about your exploits.

Well, that's just what
Joseph Goebbels thought.

So he did and called it "Nation's Pride".

And they wanted me to play myself...

...so I did.

Joseph thinks this movie will
be proven to be his masterpiece.

And I will be the German Van Johnson.

"Nation's Pride" is about you?

"Nation's Pride" is starring you?

I know.

Comical?

Well, good luck with your movie, Private. I
hope all goes well for Joseph and yourself.

Goodbye!

- Do you need help?
- No, it's okay.

If you need me, I'll
be in the storage room.

Okay, my love.

Mademoiselle Mimieux?

Yes?

Is this your cinema?

Yes.

Come down!

Please.

I don't understand. What have I done?

She wants to know what she's done.

Get your ass in that car.

It's only the offspring of slaves that
allows America to be competitive athletically.

American Olympic gold can
be measured in Negro sweat.

Good, you came.

I wasn't sure whether or not
you'd accept my invitation.

Invitation?

Is that the young lady
in question, Fredrick?

Yes, it is, Dr. Goebbels.

Emmanuelle, there is
somebody I want you to meet.

Emmanuelle Mimieux, I'd like to introduce
you to the minister of propaganda...

...the leader of the entire
German film industry...

...and now that I'm an actor,
my boss, Dr. Joseph Goebbels.

Your reputation precedes
you, Fr�ulein Mimieux.

And normally, this is Herr
Goebbels' French interpreter...

...Mademoiselle Francesca Mondino.

Hello.

Hello.

And you've met the Major.

Actually, I didn't introduce myself.
Major Dieter Hellstrom of the Gestapo.

At your service, mademoiselle.

Please allow me...

...have a seat, please.

Try the champagne,
mademoiselle, it's quite good.

I must say, Fr�ulein, I should
be rather annoyed with you.

I arrive in France...

...and I wish to have
lunch with my star.

Little do I know...

...he's become the toast of Paris.

And now he must find time for me.

People wait in line
hours, days to see me.

For the F�hrer...

...and Private Zoller, I wait.

So finally, I'm granted an
audience with the young Private.

And he spends the entire lunch
speaking of you and your cinema.

So Fr�ulein Mimieux,
let's get down to business.

Herr Minister Doctor Goebbels...

I haven't informed her yet.

Unless the girl's a simpleton, I'm
sure she's figured it out by now.

After all, she does operate a cinema.

Francesca, tell her.

What they are trying to tell you,
Emmanuelle, is Private Zoller...

...has spent the last hour at lunch
trying to convince Monsieur Goebbels...

...to abandon previous plans for
Private Zoller's film premiere...

...and change the venue to your cinema.

What?

I wanted to inform her.

Shit! I apologize,
Private, of course you did.

What's the issue?

The Private wanted to inform
the mademoiselle himself.

Nonsense!

Until I ask my questions,
he has nothing to inform.

Let the record state, I have not agreed
to switch cinemas for my premiere.

Duly noted.

You have opera boxes?

Yes.

How many?

Two.

More would be better.

How many seats in your auditorium?

Three hundred and fifty.

That's almost four
hundred less than The Ritz.

But Dr. Goebbels...

...that's not such a terrible thing.

You said yourself you didn't want to
indulge every two-faced French bourgeois...

...taking up space, currying favor.

With less seats, it makes
the event more exclusive.

You're not trying to fill the
house, they're fighting for seats.

Besides, to hell with the French.

This is a German night, a German
event, a German celebration.

This night is for you, me...

...for the German military,
the high command...

...their family and friends.

The only people who should
be allowed in the room...

...are people who will be moved
by the exploits on the screen.

I see your public speaking has improved.

It appears I've created a monster.

A strangely persuasive monster.

When the war is over, politics await.

Well, Private...

...though it is true, I'm
inclined to indulge you anything...

I must watch a film in this young lady's
cinema before I can say, yes or no.

So young lady, you are to close your
cinema for a private screening tonight.

What German films do you have?

Ah, Landa, you are here.

Emmanuelle, this is Colonel
Hans Landa of the SS.

He'll be running the
security for the premiere.

Charmed, mademoiselle.

Au revoir, Shosanna!

And now I must get the Reich
Minister to his next appointment.

Slave driver.

French slave driver.

Actually, in my role as
security chief of this joyous

German occasion, I'm afraid I must...

...have a word with
Mademoiselle Mimieux.

What sort of discussion?

That sounded suspiciously like a Private
questioning the order of a Colonel.

Or am I just being sensitive?

Nothing could be further
from the truth, Colonel.

Your authority is beyond question.

But your reputation does precede you.

Should Mademoiselle Mimieux
or myself be concerned?

Hans, the boy means no harm...

...he's simply smitten.

And he's correct. Your
reputation does precede you.

No need for concern, you two. As security
chief, I simply need to have a chat...

...with the possible new
venue's property owner.

Have you tried the strudel here?

No, no.

It's not so terrible.

So how is it the young Private
and yourself came to be acquainted?

Yes, two strudels. One for myself
and one for the mademoiselle.

For me a cup of espresso
and for the mademoiselle...

...a glass of milk.

So, mademoiselle, you were
beginning to explain...?

Up until a couple of days ago, I
had no knowledge of Private Zoller...

...or his exploits.

To me...

...the Private was simply just a patron
of my cinema. We spoke a few times but-

Mademoiselle, let me interrupt you.

This is a simple formality.

No reason for you to feel anxious.

I apologize, I forgot
to order the cream.

One moment.

Wait for the cream.

So, Emmanuelle. May
I call you Emmanuelle?

Oui.

So, Emmanuelle...

...explain to me...

...how does it happen, that a young lady
such as yourself, comes to own a cinema?

After you.

Verdict?

Like I said, not so terrible.

You were explaining the origin
of your cinema ownership.

The cinema originally
belonged to my aunt and uncle.

What are their names?

Jean-Pierre and Ada Mimieux.

Where are they now?

My uncle was killed during Blitzkrieg.

Pity.

Continue.

Aunt Ada passed away
from fever last spring.

Regrettable.

It's come to my attention you have
a Negro in your employ. Is that true?

Oui.

He is a Frenchman.

His name is Marcel.

He worked with my aunt and uncle
since they opened the cinema.

He's the only other
one who works with me.

Doing what?

Projectionist.

Is he any good?

The best.

Actually, one could see where that
might be a good trade for them.

Can you operate the projectors?

Of course I can.

Knowing the Reich Minister as I do...

I'm quite positive...

...he wouldn't want the success or
failure of his illustrious evening...

...dependent on the prowess of a Negro.

So...

...if it comes to pass...

...we hold this event at your venue...

...talented no doubt,
as your Negro may be...

...you will...

...operate the projectors.

Is that acceptable?

Oui.

Cigarette?

They are not French.

They are German.

I did have something
else I wanted to ask you.

But right now, for the life of
me, I can't remember what it is.

Oh, well, must not have been important.

'Til tonight.

I must say, I appreciate
the modesty of this cinema.

Your cinema has real
respect, almost church like.

Not to say we couldn't
spruce the place up a bit.

Maybe I'll go to the Louvre,
pick up a few Greek nudes,

and scatter them about the lobby.

So, Emmanuelle, how did
you like "Lucky Kids"?

I quite like Lilian Harvey.

Lilian Harvey!

Never mention that name
again in my presence!

Hey...

...what the fuck are we supposed to do?

It looks like we're supposed
to have a Nazi premiere.

Like I said, what the
fuck are we supposed to do?

Well, I need to talk
with you about that.

I'm confused, what are we talking about?

Filling the cinema with Nazis
and burning it down to the ground.

I'm not talking about that.

You are talking about that.

No, we're talking about that, right now.

If we can keep this place from
burning down by ourselves...

...we can burn it down by ourselves?

Oui, Shosanna, we could do that.

And with Madame Mimieux's 350
nitrate film print collection...

...we wouldn't even need explosives...

...would we?

You mean we wouldn't
need any more explosives?

At that time, 35 millimeter
nitrate film was so flammable

that you couldn't even bring
a reeI onto a streetcar.

Hey, you can't bring those
here on a public vehicle.

- They're films, ain't they?
- Yes.

Then they're flammable. Go on, hop off.

Because nitrate film burns
three times faster than paper.

Shosanna has a collection

of over 350 nitrate film prints.

I am going to burn down
the cinema on Nazi night.

And if I'm going to
burn down the cinema...

...which I am...

...we both know, you're not
going to let me do it by myself.

Because you love me. And I love you.

And you're the only person
on this earth I can trust.

But that's not all we're going to do.

Does the filmmaking equipment
in the attic still work?

I know the film camera does.
How about the sound recorder?

Quite well, actually.

I recorded a new guitarist I met in
a cafe last week. It works superb.

Why do we need filmmaking equipment?

Because Marcel, my sweet...

...we're going to make a film.

Just for the Nazis.

Chapter Four

OPERATION KINO

Right this way, Lieutenant.

Lieutenant Archie Hicox reporting, sir.

General Ed Fenech. At ease, Hicox.

Drink?

If you offer me a scotch and plain water,
I could drink a scotch and plain water.

That-a-boy, Lieutenant. Make it
yourself like a good chap, will you?

The bar is in the globe.

Something for yourself, sir?

Whiskey. Straight. No junk in it.

It says here that you
speak German fluently.

Like a Katzenjammer Kid.

- And your occupation before the war?
- I'm a film critic.

- List your accomplishments.
- Well, sir, such as they are,

I write reviews and articles for a
publication called Films and Filmmakers,

and I've had two books published.

Impressive. Don't be modest,
Lieutenant. What are their titles?

The first book was called

Art of the Eyes, the Heart and the Mind:
A Study of German Cinema in the '20s.

And the second one was called
Twenty-Four Frame da Vinci.

It's a sub textual film criticism study
of the work of German director G.W. Pabst.

- What should we drink to, sir?
- Well...

- Down with Hitler.
- All the way down, sir.

Yes.

Are you familiar with German
cinema under the Third Reich?

Yes. Obviously, I haven't seen any of
the films made in the last three years,

- but I'm familiar with it.
- Explain it to me.

Pardon, sir?

Well, this little escapade of ours requires
a knowledge of the German film industry

under the Third Reich. Explain
to me UFA under Goebbels.

Goebbels considers the films he's making

to be the beginning of a
new era in German cinema.

An alternative to what he considers

the Jewish-German intellectual
cinema of the '20s,

and the Jewish-controlled
dogma of Hollywood.

How's he doing?

Frightfully sorry, sir. Once again?

You say he wants to take on
the Jews at their own game.

Well, compared to, say, Louis B. Mayer,

- how's he doing?
- Quite well, actually.

Since Goebbels has taken over,

film attendance has steadily risen
in Germany over the last eight years.

But Louis B. Mayer wouldn't be
Goebbels' proper opposite number.

I believe Goebbels sees himself
closer to David O. Selznick.

Brief him.

Lieutenant Hicox, at this point and time
I'd like to brief you on Operation Kino.

Three days from now

Joseph Goebbels is throwing a gala
premiere of one of his new movies in Paris.

- What film, sir?
- The motion picture is called Nation's Pride.

In attendance at this
joyous Germatic occasion

will be Goebbels, G�ring, Bormann,
and most of the German High Command

including all high ranking officers
of both the SS and the Gestapo,

as well as luminaries of the
Nazi propaganda film industry.

The master race at play?

Basically, we have all our
rotten eggs in one basket.

The objective of Operation Kino,

blow up the basket.

And like the snows of
yesteryear, gone from this earth.

Jolly good, sir.

An American Secret Service outfit
that lives deep behind enemy lines

will be your assist.

The Germans call them the Basterds.

The Basterds. Never heard of them.

Whole point of the Secret Service,
old boy, you not hearing of them.

But the Jerries have heard of them, because
these Yanks have been them the devil.

You'll be dropped into France,
about 24 kilometers outside of Paris.

The Basterds will be waiting for you.

First thing, you'll go to a
little village called Nadine.

In Nadine, there's a
tavern called La Louisiane.

There you'll rendezvous with our
double agent. She'll take it from there.

She's the one who is going
to get you into the premiere.

It'll be you, her, and two
German-born members of the Basterds.

She's also made all the other
arrangements you're going to need.

How will I know her?

I suspect that won't be
too much trouble for you.

- Your contact is Bridget von Hammersmark.
- Bridget von Hammersmark?

The German movie star
is working for England?

Yes, for the last two years now.

One could even say that
Operation Kino was her brainchild.

- Indeed.
- Got the gist?

I think so, sir. Paris when it sizzles.

The village of Nadine

You didn't say the goddamn
rendezvous is in a fucking basement.

- I didn't know.
- You said it was in a tavern.

- It is a tavern.
- Yeah, in a basement.

You know, fighting in a basement
offers a lot of difficulties.

Number one being, you're
fighting in a basement.

What if we go in there
and she's not even there?

We wait.

Don't worry. She's a British
spy. She'll make the rendezvous.

- Stiglitz, right?
- That's right, sir.

I hear you're pretty good with that.

You know, we're not looking
for trouble right now.

Simply making contact with our
agent. Should be uneventful.

However, the off chance I'm
wrong, things prove eventful,

I need to know we can all remain calm.

I don't look calm to you?

Well, now that you put it
like that, I guess you do.

This Jerry of yours, Stiglitz, not
exactly the loquacious type, is he?

Is that the kind of man
you need? Loquacious type?

Fair point, Lieutenant.

So you all get in trouble in
there, what are we supposed to do?

Make bets on how it all comes out?

If we get into trouble,
we can handle it.

But if trouble does happen,
we need you to make damn sure

no Germans, or French, for that
matter, escape from that basement.

If Frau von Hammersmark's cover is
compromised, the mission is kaput.

Speaking of Frau von Hammersmark, whose
idea was it for the death-trap rendezvous?

- She chose the spot.
- Isn't that just dandy?

Look, she's not a military
strategist. She's just an actress.

You don't got to be Stonewall Jackson to
know you don't want to fight in a basement.

She wasn't picking a place to fight.

She was picking a place
isolated and without Germans.

So, I'm male...

...I'm a fictional, literary
character from the past...

...I'm American, and
that's controversial.

No, it's not controversial at all.

The nationality of the author has nothing
to do with the nationality of the character.

The character is the character.

Hamlet is not British. He is Danish.

So yes, this character
was born in America.

Well then.

Mathilda.

Schnapps? Schnapps?

Schnapps... Schnapps... Schnapps.

Five schnapps, please.

If I had a wife...

...would she be called a squaw?

Yes!

He's got it.

Three more questions!

Is my blood brother Old Shatterhand?

Yes!

Did Karl May write me?

Yes!

So who are you?!

I am "Winnetou", chief of the Apaches!

Yes!

That was good! That
was good! That was good!

Now down with the glasses!

Cheers.

Attention!

Hello, my lovelies.

Take a seat.

I will join you in moments. I'm just
saying goodbye to my five new friends here.

No hurry, Frau von
Hammersmark. Take your time.

Enjoy yourself. We'll be
just over here waiting.

Eric, my love. Those are the
friends I've been waiting for.

Please treat them to anything they like.

Frau von Hammersmark.
Your wish is my command.

Officers...

...it would appear the
drinks are on the fr�ulein.

- What would you like?
- Whiskey.

Two whiskeys.

- Three whiskeys.
- Three whiskeys, very well.

I wish you a wonderful evening.

- Same to you.
- I thank you.

Your card!

Yes, you're right.

Let's see.

Genghis Khan! I would
never have gotten that.

But of course you would have!

Hello, darling.

How are you?

So good to see you.

I thought this place was supposed
to have more French than Germans?

Yes, normally that's true.

The Sergeant over there's
wife just had a baby.

And his commanding officer gave him and
his mates the night off to celebrate.

We should leave.

No.

We should stay.

For one drink at least.

I've been waiting for you in a bar.

It would look strange if we
left before we had a drink.

She's right. Just be calm
and enjoy your whiskey.

Mmm.

Mathilda...

...come join us in the game.
Take Frau Hammersmark's place.

She would love to play the game.

I will translate... and protect.

Don't worry, pretty little thing.

If any of these wolves gets out
of line, I'll kick their ass in.

Watch.

Rip off his nose.

Stop it!

Schnapps, schnapps, take your
schnapps in hand, comrades.

Before we go on playing...

...we will drink.

We drink to our friend Wilhelm.

And his little boy...

...Maximilian.

- To Max!
- To Max!

There's some new development.

The cinema venue has changed.

Why?

No one knows but that
should not be a real problem.

The cinema it's been changed to is
considerably smaller than The Ritz.

So whatever explosives you brought for
The Ritz should be doubly effective here.

Now the next piece of information...

...is colossal.

Try not to overreact.

The F�hrer-

...I was just thinking...

...could you sign an autograph
to my son on his birthday?

Of course. I'd love to, Wilhelm.

This handsome Staff Sergeant
just became a father today.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Do you know the name
of this progeny yet?

I most certainly do, fr�ulein.
His name is Maximilian.

Maximilian, wonderful name.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Nothing but the best
for little Maximilian.

Max may not know who you are now but...

...he will. I will show
him all of your movies.

Good.

He will grow up with your films and...

...this napkin on his wall.

I propose a toast to the
greatest actress in Germany!

There is no Dietrich! There is no
Riefenstahl! Only Von Hammersmark!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

Cheers!

Once again-

Frau Hammersmark, what
brings you to France?

None of your business!

Staff Sergeant.

You might not have worn
out your welcome with

the fr�ulein with your
drunken boorish behavior...

...but you have worn
out your welcome with me.

Might I remind you, Staff
Sergeant, you are an enlisted man.

This is an officer's table!

I suggest you stop
pestering the fr�ulein...

...and rejoin your table.

Excuse me, Captain, but
your accent is very unusual.

Where are you from?

You must be either completely
drunk or mad to dare...

...to speak to a superior
officer with such impertinentness!

Staff Sergeant.

I'm making you and you
responsible for him.

I suggest you take
hold of your friend...

...or he'll spend Max's first birthday
in jail for public drunkenness.

Might I inquire?

Like our young newly
christened father here...

...I, too, have an
acute ear for accents.

And like him...

...I, too, find yours odd.

From where do you hail, Captain?

Major, this is highly-

- I wasn't speaking to
you, Lieutenant Munich.

Or you either, Lieutenant Frankfurt.

I was speaking to
Captain I-don't-know-what.

I was born in a village that rests
in the shadow of the Piz Pal�.

- The mountain?
- Yes.

In that village, we all speak like this.

Have you seen the Riefenstahl film?

- Yes.
- Then you saw me.

You remember the skiing torch scene?

Yes.

In that scene was myself, my father,
my sister and my two brothers.

My brother is so handsome...

...the director Pabst,
gave him a Close-Up.

Herr Major, if my word means anything...

...I can vouch for everything
the young captain has just said.

He does hail from the
bottom of the Piz Pal�.

He was in the film and his brother
is far more handsome than he.

You should rejoin your friends.

May I join you?

By all means.

Wunderbar!

So that's the source
of your bizarre accent.

That's extraordinary.

What are you doing here?

Aside from having a drink
with the lovely fr�ulein?

Well, that pleasure
requires no explanation.

I mean in country.

You're obviously not stationed
in France or I'd know who you are.

You know every German in France?

Worth knowing.

Well, there lies the problem.

We never claimed to be worth knowing.

All levity aside, what
are you doing in France?

Attending Minister Goebbels' film
premiere as the fr�ulein's escort.

You are the Fr�ulein
Hammersmark's escort.

Someone has to carry her lighter.

The captain is my date,
but all three are my guests.

We are old friends...

...who go back a long time.

Actually, longer than an
actress would care to admit.

Well, in that case...

...let me raise my glass to the
three luckiest men in the room.

I'll drink to that.

Queen Christina.

Mata Hari.

I must say...

...that game they're playing
looks like a good bit of fun.

I didn't join them because
you're quite right, Captain.

An officer should not
fraternize with enlisted men.

But...

...seeing as we are all officers...

...and sophisticated
lady friends of officers.

What say we play the game?

Yes, great, one game.

Wunderbar.

Soldiers...

...the cards.

Thank you.

So gentlemen...

...the object of the game is to...

...write the name of a
famous person on your card.

Real or fictitious, doesn't matter.

For instance, you could write,
Confucius or Doctor Fu Manchu.

Eric! More pens.

And they must be famous, not aunt Frida.

When you finish writing, put
the card face down on the table.

And move it to the
person on your right-

Thanks.

- the person to your left
moves his card to you.

You pick up the card
without looking at it...

...lick the back...

...and stick it on your forehead.

Write!

Write.

I'll start, give you the idea.

Am I German?

- No.
- No.

Am I American?

- No.
- No.

Wait a minute, he goes to -

Obviously, he wasn't born in America.

So... I visited America, aye?

Yes.

Was this visit fortuitous?

Not for you.

My native land, is it what
one would call, exotic?

- Yes.
- Yes.

That could be either a reference
to the jungle or the Orient.

I'm going to let my first instinct
take over and ask. Am I from the jungle?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Now gentlemen, around this time you could
ask whether you're real or fictitious.

I, however, think that's too
easy, so I won't ask that yet.

Okay...

...my native land is the jungle...

...I visited America...

...but my visit was
not fortuitous to me...

...but the implication is
that it was to somebody else.

When I went...

...from the jungle to America...

...did I go by boat?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Did I go against my will?

- Yes.
- Yes.

On this boat ride, was I in chains?

Yes.

When I arrived in America,
was I displayed in chains?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Am I the story of the Negro in America?

No.

Well then I must be King Kong.

Bravo!

Impressive.

Now, since I answered correctly,
you all need to finish your drinks.

Cheers.

Now, who is next?

Well, Major...

...I don't mean to be rude. But the
four of us are very good friends.

And we haven't seen each
other in quite a while.

So, Major...

...I am afraid...

...you are intruding.

I beg to differ, Captain.

It's only if the fr�ulein considers
my presence an intrusion...

...that I become an intruder.

How about it, Fr�ulein von
Hammersmark? Am I intruding?

I didn't think so.

It's simply the captain
is immune to my charms.

I am just joking.

Just joking. Of course I'm intruding.

Allow me to refill your glasses, gentlemen,
and I will bid you and the fr�ulein adieu.

Eric has a bottle of
thirty-three-year-old whiskey.

From the Scottish Highlands.

What do you say, gentlemen?

You're most gracious, Major.

Eric! The thirty-three.
And new glasses!

You don't want to contaminate the
thirty-three with the swill you were drinking.

How many glasses?

- Five.
- Not for me.

I like scotch, scotch doesn't like me.

Nor I. I'll stay with bubbly.

Three glasses.

Frau von Hammersmark.

Thank you.

A thousand year German Reich!

- A thousand year Reich!
- A thousand year Reich!

I must say I grow weary
of these monkeyshines.

Did you hear that?

That was the sound of my Walther.

Pointed right at your testicles.

Why do you have your Walther
pointed at my testicles?

Because you've just given
yourself away, Captain.

You're no more German than that scotch.

- Well, Major.
- Shut up slut.

You were saying?

I was saying that makes two of us.

I've had a gun pointed at
your balls since you sat down.

That makes three of us.

And at this range, I'm
a real Fredrick Zoller.

Looks like we have a bit
of a sticky situation here.

What's going to happen, Major...

...you're going to stand up
and walk out that door with us.

No, no, no, no, no,
no. I don't think so.

I'm afraid you and I...

...we both know, Captain...

...no matter what happens to
anybody else in this room...

...the two of us aren't going anywhere.

Too bad about Sergeant
Wilhelm and his famous friends.

If any of you expect to live,
you'll have to shoot them too.

Looks like little Max
will grow up an orphan.

How sad.

Well, if this is it, old boy,

I hope you don't mind if I
go out speaking the King's.

By all means, Captain.

There's a special rung in hell reserved
for people who waste good Scotch.

Seeing as I may be rapping
on the door momentarily,

I must say, damn good stuff, sir.

Now, about this pickle

we find ourselves in.

It would appear there's only
one thing left for you to do.

And what would that be?

- Stiglitz.
- Say auf Wiedersehen to your Nazi balls.

You outside. Who are you?

British? American?

What?

We're American.

What are you?

I'm a German, you idiot.

Speak English pretty good for a German.

I agree.

So let's talk.

Okay, talk.

I'm a father.

My baby was born today. In Frankfurt.

Five hours ago.

His name is Max. We were in
here drinking, celebrating.

They're the ones that came in shooting
and killing. It's not my fault!

Okay! It wasn't your fault.

What's your name, soldier?

Wilhelm.

Now, is there anybody alive on our side?

- No.
- I'm alive!

Who's that?

Is the girl on your side?

Which girl?

Who do you think? Von Hammersmark.

Yeah, she's ours.

Is she okay?

Wilhelm!

She's been shot.

But she's alive.

Okay, Wilhelm.

What do you say we make us a deal?

What's your name?

Aldo.

Okay, Wilhelm, here's my deal.

You let me and one of my men come
down there and take the girl away.

No guns. No guns me, no guns you.

And we take the girl and
leave. It's that simple, Willi.

You go your way, we go ours.

And little Max gets to grow up
playing catch with his daddy.

So what do you say,
Willi? We got us a deal?

Aldo.

I'm here, Willi.

I want to trust you.

But...

But how can I?

What choice you got, son?

Okay, okay.

Aldo,

I'm going to trust you.

Come down.

Hey, Willi, what's with the machine
gun? I thought we had us a deal?

We still have a deal.
Now, get the girl and go.

Not so fast.

We only got a deal, we trust each other.

And a Mexican standoff ain't trust.

You need guns on me for it
to be a Mexican standoff.

You got guns on us. You
decide to shoot, we're dead.

Up top, they got grenades. They
drop them down here, you're dead.

That's a Mexican standoff,
and that was not the deal.

No trust, no deal.

All right, Aldo.

Fine.

Just take that fucking traitor,
and get her out of my sight.

Not so goddamn fast, doc. Tell
him to go play with his dogs.

Before we yank that slug out you,
you need to answer a few questions.

Few questions about what?

About I got three men dead back there.

Why don't you try telling
us what the fuck happened?

The British officer blew his German
act and the Gestapo major saw it.

Before we get into who shot John,

why'd you invite my men to a rendezvous
in a basement with a bunch of Nazis?

I can see since you didn't
see what happened inside,

that the Nazis being
there must look odd.

Yeah, we got a word for
that kind of odd in English.

It's called suspicious.

Everybody needs to calm down.

You're letting your imagination
get the better of you.

You met the sergeant yourself. Willi.

You remember him, don't you?

Yeah, I remember him.

His wife had a baby tonight.
He had just become a...

He had just become a father!

His commanding officer gave him and
his mates the night off to celebrate.

The Germans being there was either a
trap set by me or a tragic coincidence.

It couldn't be both.

How'd the shooting start?

The Englishman gave himself away.

How'd he do that?

He ordered three glasses.

We order three glasses.

That's the German three.

The other looks odd.

Germans would and did notice it.

Okay, let's pretend
there were no Germans

and everything went exactly
the way it was supposed to.

What was the next step?

Tuxedos.

To get them into the premiere
wearing military uniforms

with all the military
there would've been suicide.

But going as members of
the German film industry,

they wear tuxedos and fit
in with everybody else.

I arranged for the tailor
to fit three tuxedos tonight.

How'd you intend to get
them in that premiere?

Hand me my purse.

Lieutenant Hicox was going as my escort.

The other two were going as a
German cameraman and his assistant.

You still get us in that premiere?

You speak German better
than your friends? No.

Have I been shot? Yes!

I don't see me tripping the light
fantastique up a red carpet anytime soon.

Least of all, by tomorrow night.

However, there's
something you don't know.

There've been two recent
developments regarding Operation Kino.

One, the venue has been changed from
The Ritz to a much smaller venue.

Enormous change at the last
minute? That's not very Germatic.

Why the hell is Goebbels
doing stuff so damn peculiar?

It probably has something to
do with the second development.

Which is?

DerF�hrer is attending the premiere.

I've been rethinking my position...

...in regards to your Paris
premiere of "Nation's Pride".

As the weeks have gone on...

...and the Americans are on the beach...

...I do find myself
thinking more and more...

...about this Private Zoller.

This boy has done
something tremendous for us.

And I'm beginning to think...

...my participation in this
event could be meaningful.

Fuck a duck!

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking getting a whack
at planting old Uncle Adolf

makes this horse a different color.

What is that supposed to mean?

It means you getting
us in that premiere.

I'm probably going to
end up losing this leg.

Bye-bye, acting career.
Fun while it lasted.

How do you expect me
to walk the red carpet?

Doggy doc's going to dig
that slug out your gam.

He's going to wrap it up in a cast,

and you got a good
how-I-broke-my-leg-mountain-climbing story.

That's German, ain't it? You all
like climbing mountains, don't you?

I don't. I like smoking, drinking
and ordering in restaurants.

But I see your point.

We fill you up with morphine
till it's coming out your ears

and just limp your little
ass up that rouge carpet.

I know this is a silly
question before I ask it,

but can you Americans speak
any other language than English?

We both speak a little Italian.

With an atrocious accent, no doubt.

But that doesn't exactly
kill us in the crib.

Germans don't have a
good ear for Italian.

So you mumble Italian and brazen
through it. Is that the plan?

That's about it.

That sounds good.

It sounds like shit. What else
are we going to do? Go home?

No, that sounds good.

If you don't blow it, with that,
I can get you in the building.

Who does what?

Well, I speak the most
Italian, so I'll be your escort.

Donowitz speaks second most, so
he'll be your Italian cameraman.

Omar, third most. He'll
be Donny's assistant.

I don't speak Italian.

Like I said, third best. Just
keep your fucking mouth shut.

In fact, why don't you
start practicing right now?

You've moved up in the world.

Look at you, Lieutenant First Class.

And with your record of
insubordination. Truly remarkable.

And that one's name is...

...Wilhelm Wicki.

He's an Austrian-born Jew, who
immigrated to the United States...

...when things began turning
sour for the Israelites.

They are the two German-born
members of the Basterds.

They've been known to don German
uniforms, to ambush squads.

What brings you all the way out here?

But that doesn't look like this.

This is odd.

It would appear somebody's missing.

Somebody fashionable.

Everybody out!

"To Max, with love".

Bridget von Hammersmark.

Chapter Five

REVENGE OF THE GIANT FACE

Night of "NATION'S PRIDE" premiere

Remember... in English.

Yes.

Action.

But how do we get it developed?

Only a suicidal idiot like
us would develop that footage.

And suppose someone would
develop the footage...

...how do we get a 35mm
print with a soundtrack?

We find somebody who can develop and
process a 35mm print with a soundtrack.

And we make them do it...

...or we kill them.

Bring that fucker over here!
Put his head down on that table.

You either do what
the fuck we tell you...

...or I'll bury this ax in
your collaborating skull.

I'm not a collaborator.

Marcel, do his wife
and children know you?

Yes.

Then after we kill this
dog for the Germans...

...we'll go and silence them.

Jannings, come on, show the ring.

Come on, come on. There you go!

Fredrick, have a look at it. This is
the highest artistic honor that I give.

- Herr Doctor, I'm also feeling very honored.
- You deserve it, my dear Jannings!

But I believe after the premiere
today, we have a new candidate.

Ah, Emmanuelle...

...I'd like you to meet the
greatest actor in the world...

...Emil Jannings.

Mademoiselle, I'm pleased to meet you.

You have a beautiful cinema.

Thank you, Hermann.

Fr�ulein von Hammersmark.

Colonel Landa, it's been years.

Dashing as ever, I see.

So what's happened to your lovely leg?

A by-product of kicking ass
in the German cinema, no doubt.

Save your flattery, you old dog.

I know too many of your former
conquests to fall into that honey pot.

Seriously, what happened?

Well, I tried my hand,
foolishly I might add...

...at mountain climbing.

And this is the result.

Mountain climbing?

That's how you injured
your leg -mountain climbing?

Believe it or not, yes it is.

Forgive me, fr�ulein. I don't
mean to laugh at your misfortune.

It's just -mountain climbing?

I'm curious, fr�ulein, what
could have ever compelled

you to undertake such
a foolhardy endeavor?

Well, I shan't be doing it
again, I can tell you that.

That cast looks as fresh
as my old Uncle Gustav.

When were you climbing
this mountain, last night?

Very good eye, Colonel.

It happened yesterday morning.

And where in Paris is this mountain?

No, I'm just teasing you, fr�ulein.

You know me, I tease rough.

So, who are your three handsome escorts?

I'm afraid neither three
speak a word of German.

They're friends of mine from Italy.

This is a wonderful Italian
stuntman, Enzo Gorlomi.

A very talented cameraman,
Antonio Margheriti.

And Antonio's camera
assistant Dominick Decocco.

Gentlemen, this is an old friend,
Colonel Hans Landa of the SS.

Hello.

Gentlemen, it's a pleasure...

...the friends of our cherished
star, admired by all of us,

this outright jewel of our culture...

...are naturally going to be under my personal
protection for the duration of their stay.

Thank you.

Gorlomi?

Am I saying it correctly?

Yes
- 'er, correct.

Gorlomi?

Say it for me once please...?

Gorlomi.

I'm sorry, again...?

Gorlomi.

Once more...?

Gorlomi.

What's your name again...?

Antonio Margheriti.

Again...?

Margheriti.

One more time, but let me
really hear the music in it!

Margheriti.

Margheriti.

And you...?

Dominick Decocco.

Dominick Decocco.

Well, my two cameraman friends
need to find their seats.

Let me see your tickets.

I suppose you getting premiere tickets

for your friends wouldn't be
the most difficult thing...

...for a star of your status.

0023 and 0024.

That shouldn't be too
difficult to find, goodbye.

Ooh la la, Danielle Darrieux.

I have to go down and
socialize with these Hun pigs.

Let's go over it again.

Reel one is on the first projector.

Reel two...

...is on the second.

The third one is on the spool.

And the fourth one is ready to go.

Okay, the big sniper
battle in the film...

...begins around the
middle of the third reel.

Our film comes in on the fourth reel.

Somewhere towards the
end of the third reel...

...go down and lock the
doors of the auditorium.

Then take your place behind
the screen and wait for my cue.

Then burn it down.

Take your seats.

The show is about to begin.

Everybody, please take your
seats. The show is about to begin.

We'll see you later.

Not so fast.

A glass of champagne...

...to toast "Nation's Pride".

My fr�ulein, may I have a
word with you in private?

Certainly.

Excuse us.

Have a seat, my fr�ulein.

May I?

Mademoiselle Mimieux allowed me...

...to set up camp in her
office for the time being.

Let me see your foot.

I beg your pardon?

Put your foot in my lap.

Hans, you embarrass me.

Could you please reach into
the right pocket of my coat...

...and give me what you find in there.

May I?

What's that American expression?
"If the shoe fits, you must wear it."

What now, Colonel?

The guy in the white smoking jacket.

Fucking shithead. Faggot fuck. Fuck you!

Bunch of shithead fuck.

Fuck you, too!

Goddamn Nazi farts, sons of
bitches! Get your hands off me.

You fucking bratwurst-smelling...
God damn you! Get off!

Hmm.

Clever.

I informed the F�hrer that the
audience has taken their seats.

He should arrive any minute.

Thank you, Hans.

You Jerry-banging,
Limburg-smelling...

Let go.

As Stanley said to Livingstone,
Lieutenant Aldo Raine, I presume?

Hans Landa.

You've had a nice long run, Aldo.

Alas, you're now in the hands of the SS.

My hands to be exact.

And they've been waiting
a long time to touch you.

Caught you flinching.

Touch me again, Kraut-burger.

Utivich? Is that you, Lieutenant?

Yeah.

Do you know what happened to Donny?

Omar?

The woman? No, I do not.

Tell me, Aldo, if I were
sitting where you're sitting,

would you show me mercy?

Nope.

What is that English
expression about shoes and feet?

"Looks like the shoe is on the other
foot." Yeah, I was just thinking that.

You may leave us.

But stay alert outside.

So you're Aldo the Apache.

- So you're The Jew Hunter.
- I'm a detective.

A damn good detective.

Finding people is my specialty,

so naturally, I worked for
the Nazis finding people.

And, yes, some of them
were Jews. But Jew Hunter?

Just a name that stuck.

Well, you do have to
admit, it is catchy.

Do you control the nicknames
your enemies bestow on you?

Aldo the Apache and the Little Man?

What do you mean the Little Man?

Germans' nickname for you.

The Germans' nickname
for me is the Little Man?

And as if to make my point, I'm a little
surprised how tall you were in real life.

I mean, you're a little fellow,
but not circus-midget little,

as your reputation would suggest.

Where's my men?

Where's Bridget von Hammersmark?

Well, let's just say,
she got what she deserved.

And when you purchase friends
like Bridget von Hammersmark,

you get what you pay for.

Now as far as your paesanos,
Sergeant Donowitz and Private Omar...

How you know our names?

Lieutenant Aldo,

if you don't think I
wouldn't interrogate

every single one of your
swastika-marked survivors,

we simply aren't operating on the
level of mutual respect I assumed.

No, I guess not.

Well, back to the whereabouts
of your two Italian saboteurs.

As of this moment,

both Omar and Donowitz should be sitting
in the very seats we left them in.

Double-zero 23 and double-zero
24, if my memory serves.

Explosives still around their
ankles, still ready to explode.

And your mission, some
would call a terrorist plot,

as of this moment, is still a go.

That's a pretty exciting story.
What's next? Eliza on Ice?

However,

all I have to do is pick
up this phone right here,

inform the cinema,
and your plan is kaput.

If they're still here, and if they're
still alive, and that's one big if,

there ain't no way you're going to take
them boys without setting off them bombs.

I have no doubt.

And, yes, some Germans will die.
Yes, it will ruin the evening.

And, yes, Goebbels will be
very, very, very mad at you

for what you've done to his big night.

But you won't get Hitler,
you won't get Goebbels,

you won't get G�ring,
and you won't get Bormann.

And you need all four to end the war.

But if I don't pick up
this phone right here,

you may very well get all four.

And if you get all four, you end the war

tonight.

So, gentlemen,

let's discuss the prospect
of ending the war tonight.

So, the way I see it,

since Hitler's death or possible
rescue rests solely on my reaction,

if I do nothing,

it's as if I'm causing his death even
more than yourselves. Wouldn't you agree?

I guess so.

How about you, Utivich?

I guess so, too.

Gentlemen, I have no intention

of killing Hitler and killing Goebbels
and killing G�ring and killing Bormann,

not to mention winning the war
single-handedly for the Allies,

only later to find myself
standing before a Jewish tribunal.

If you want to win the war tonight,

we have to make a deal.

What kind of deal?

The kind you wouldn't
have the authority to make.

However, I'm sure this mission
of yours has a commanding officer.

A general.

I'm betting for...

OSS would be my guess.

That's a bingo!

Is that the way you
say it? "That's a bingo".

You just say, "Bingo".

Bingo! How fun.

But I digress. Where were
we? Yeah! Make a deal.

Over there is a very capable
two-way radio and sitting behind it

is a more than capable
radio operator named Hermann.

Get me someone on the
other end of that radio

with the power of the
pen to authorize my,

let's call it, the terms
of my conditional surrender.

If that tastes better going down.

You know, where I'm from...

Yeah? Where is that exactly?

Maynardville, Tennessee.

I've done my share of bootlegging.

Up there, if you engage in what the
federal government calls illegal activity,

but what we call just a man trying
to make a living for his family

selling moonshine liquor, it
behooves oneself to keep his wits.

Long story short, we hear
a story too good to be true,

it ain't.

Sitting in your chair, I would
probably say the same thing,

and 999.999 times out of a
million, you would be correct.

But in the pages of history,
every once in a while,

fate reaches out and extends its hand.

What shall the history books read?

I implore you. We must
destroy that tower.

Sarge, that tower...

The tower stands!

Gum?

Psst! Psst!

It's time.

I should go lock the auditorium
and take my place behind the screen.

So when the military history
of this night is written,

it will be recorded that I
was part of Operation Kino

from the very beginning
as a double agent.

Anything I've done in
my guise as an SS Colonel

was sanctioned by the
OSS as a necessary evil

to establish my cover with the Germans.

And it was my placement of
Lieutenant Raine's dynamite

in Hitler and Goebbels' opera
box that assured their demise.

I informed the F�hrer that the
audience has taken their seats.

He should arrive any minute.

Thank you, Hans.

By the way, that last
part is actually true.

I want my full military pension
and benefits under my proper rank.

I want to receive the
Congressional Medal of Honor

for my invaluable assistance in
the toppling of the Third Reich.

In fact, I want all the
members of Operation Kino

to receive the
Congressional Medal of Honor.

Full citizenship for myself.
Well, that goes without saying.

And I would like the
United States ofAmerica

to purchase property for
me on Nantucket Island

as a reward for all the
countless lives I've saved

by bringing the tyranny of
the National Socialist Party

to a swifter-than-imagined
end. Do you have all that, sir?

I look forward to seeing you
face to face as well, sir.

Lieutenant Raine? Right here.

Yes, sir.

Colonel Landa will put you and Private
Utivich in a truck as prisoners.

Then he and his radio operator will
get in the truck and drive to our lines.

Upon crossing our lines, Colonel Landa
and his man will surrender to you.

You will then take over
driving of the truck

and bring them straight to me for
debriefing. Is that clear, Lieutenant?

Yes, sir.

Over and out.

Herr Dr. Goebbels, excuse me.
Could I go out for a moment?

Perfectly understandable, my boy.

You go now, and we'll
see you after the show.

Who is it?

Fredrick!

Shit.

Are you the manager of this
cinema? I want my money back.

That actor in the movie stinks.

What are you doing here?

I came to visit you.

Can't you see how busy I am?

Then allow me to lend an assist.

Fredrick, it's not
funny, you can't be here.

This is your premiere, you
need to be out there with them.

Normally, you would be right.

And for all the other films I do...

...I intend to endure evenings
like tonight, in the proper spirit.

However, the fact remains...

...this film is based
on my military exploits.

And in this case, my exploits
consisted of killing many men.

Consequently, the part of
the film that's playing now...

...I don't like watching this part.

- I am sorry, Fredrick, but...
- So, I thought...

...I'd come up here
and do what I do best...

...annoy you.

And from the look on your face, it
would appear I haven't lost my touch.

Are you so used to the
Nazis kissing your ass...

...you've forgotten
what the word "no" means?

No... you can't be here!

Now go away!

Fredrick, you hurt me.

Well, it's nice to know
you can feel something.

Even if it's just physical pain.

I'm not a man you say, "go away" to.

There's over three hundred
dead bodies in Italy,

that if they could,
would testify to that!

After what I've done for you...

...you disrespect me at your peril!

Lock the door.

What?

Lock the door.

We don't have much time.

Time for what?

Forget it!

No, no, no... wait.

You want me to... lock the door?

For the fifty-seventh time, yes.

When I kill that guy, you got
30 feet to get to that guard.

- Can you do it?
- I have to.

Champagne?

Extraordinary my dear,
simply extraordinary!

This is your finest film yet.

Thank you, my F�hrer.

Thank you.

Who wants to send a message to Germany?

I have a message for Germany.

That you are all going to die.

Enough! Stop it!

Turn off the projector!

And I want you to look deep into the
face of the Jew who's going to do it!

I don't know what's going on.
That does not belong in my movie!

Marcel, burn it down.

Oui, Shosanna.

My name is Shosanna Dreyfus,

and this is the face

of Jewish vengeance.

These are the American
lines, Colonel sir.

Excellent, Hermann.

Hermann, uncuff them.

I'm officially surrendering myself
over to you, Lieutenant Raine.

We're your prisoners.

How about my knife?

Thank you very much, Colonel.

Utivich, cuff the Colonel's
hands behind his back.

Is that really necessary?

I'm a slave to appearances.

Scalp Hermann.

Are you mad?

What have you done?

I made a deal with your
general for that man's life!

Yeah, they made that deal. But they don't
give a fuck about him. They need you.

You'll be shot for this!

Nah, I don't think so. More like
chewed out. I've been chewed out before.

You know, Utivich and myself heard
that deal you made with the brass.

End the war tonight?

I'd make that deal.

How about you, Utivich?
You make that deal?

- I'd make that deal.
- I don't blame you. Damn good deal.

And that pretty little nest
you feathered for yourself.

Well, if you're willing to
barbecue the whole High Command,

I suppose that's worth
certain considerations.

But I do have one question.

When you get to your little
place on Nantucket Island,

I imagine you are going to take off that
handsome-looking SS uniform of yours.

Ain't you?

That's what I thought.

Now, that I can't abide.

How about you, Utivich,
can you abide it?

Not one damn bit, sir.

I mean, if I had my way,

you'd wear that goddamn uniform for
the rest of your pecker-sucking life.

But I'm aware that ain't practical.

I mean, at some point, you're
going to have to take it off.

So,

I'm going to give you a little
something you can't take off.

You know something, Utivich?

I think this just
might be my masterpiece.

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