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1
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,760
One rat rope bridge, six nibbling
cubes and a hamster snuggle pouch.
2
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,400
Yeah, check.
3
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,400
Ok. One ferret adventure centre,
one supreme gerbil fortress,
4
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,120
- one supreme gerbil palace.
- Check.
5
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,520
Oh, hang on, no fortress.
6
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,640
That's fine, we've got
the palace, so I'm happy.
7
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,080
But they're not the same thing.
8
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:46,320
A palace is just a posh house. A
fortress is a military installation.
9
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:47,637
I think the bigger question, Daniel is,
10
00:00:47,638 --> 00:00:50,418
- why does a rodent need a fortress?
- Well, fine.
11
00:00:50,419 --> 00:00:53,600
But just don't expect it to be able
to defend itself in a siege situation.
12
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,600
You're seriously asking
me to restock an item
13
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,960
because you think there
might be a gerbil Stalingrad?
14
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:02,360
Oh, shit. Look!
15
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,040
- Oh, God, it's her...
- Look! Go and see what she wants.
16
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:08,920
No, you go and see what she wants,
I'm looking for this fortress.
17
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,560
I don't want to see her.
Go and do the consult.
18
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,960
What's in it for me?
19
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:16,440
- A day off.
- Nah.
20
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:18,480
- Two days off.
- Better. Starting?
21
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:19,840
Tomorrow?
22
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,400
- All right, straight after you've seen her.
- Perfect.
23
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,640
My mum's away, means I
can spend a long weekend
24
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,720
with Mistress Venerea
and The Ninja Vixen. Eh?
25
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:35,160
Right. One squirrel swing ball,
one My First Kitten Karate Kit...
26
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,840
Hello?
27
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,600
Yes, speaking, yeah.
28
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:55,080
Oh! Uh... yes, of course, I've
remembered, yes, brilliant...
29
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:59,760
Great! Uh... I look forward
to seeing him... tomorrow.
30
00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:03,440
Yes, tomorrow, that's perfect, yeah,
great. Thanks so much for calling.
31
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:06,080
He's still having trouble
walking. Come on, Smithy...
32
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,560
- That's great, I've got to go.
- Come on.
33
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,680
As I say, most likely it's a bug,
34
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,480
although there's a 1%
chance it's a twisted bowel,
35
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,800
in which case those pills I've
given you will be completely useless
36
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,560
and he'll die in agony. Ok?
Well, good luck with that.
37
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,040
Bye!
38
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,560
Well, you've lost none
of your reassuring banter.
39
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,400
Daniel, a word, please.
40
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,360
No, the dog is not really sick.
41
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,760
Yes, she probably just
came here to see you.
42
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,184
Now, if you'll excuse me,
43
00:02:38,185 --> 00:02:40,160
I've got a date with a pneumatic redhead
44
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:42,080
in my newly-customised lounge dungeon.
45
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,400
And I imagine that lady
comes with a foot pump?
46
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,560
Now, I've had a fascinating
call from the PSS
47
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,400
because, apparently, a Jonathan
Walters is coming tomorrow
48
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:50,960
to carry out an inspection.
49
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:52,400
Well, they sent a letter.
50
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,040
How am I supposed to find
anything in that mess?
51
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:03,000
Mr Walters, 9am, Tuesday 12th. Easy, see?
52
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:06,800
I've explained this to
you a million times before.
53
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,080
It's such a simple system.
54
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,520
Left hand side, people you can tolerate.
55
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,320
Middle, people you just
want to slightly hurt.
56
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,720
Right hand side, people
you want to destroy.
57
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,440
Ok, then? Within that...
58
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,680
needs a good slapping,
needs a good kicking,
59
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,760
needs an elastic band round the bollocks.
60
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,560
It's quite a big section, that.
61
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,120
So where's Mr Walters?
62
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,280
Well, his personality
is yet unknown, innit,
63
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,760
so I put him on the neutral shelf.
64
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:32,040
Haven't assessed him
yet, he's a pen-pusher,
65
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:36,040
so he'll be somewhere between
acid bath and punch to the kidneys.
66
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,840
- Right, see ya. Bye!
- Bye, enjoy.
67
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,480
Get off! Get off!
68
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,040
Well done, well done! What was that?
69
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,840
- One minute seven.
- Excellent.
70
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,520
You're getting much faster
71
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,160
at expressing those personal boundaries.
72
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:05,400
Two weeks' time, your parents
will be here and it's crunch time.
73
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,747
- Do I have buttock marks on my face?
- Yes.
74
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:11,920
Now, your problem is that you
don't just come out with things.
75
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:15,480
You need to be more
honest. More direct. Yes?
76
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:16,720
Maybe...
77
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,600
Now, I think the best way to
achieve this would be for us
78
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:23,760
to get stuck into with some... good
old-fashioned role play.
79
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:26,520
- Yes?
- Yes, great, ok.
80
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,840
Now, stand up and shake it out.
81
00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:34,160
Shake it out. Right, let me
just have a little think...
82
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,520
Ok, ok, I've got it, I've got it.
83
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:41,240
- Justine, you're a waitress.
- Ok.
84
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,960
Sara, sit down, sit down.
Spill it out, spill it out.
85
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:48,040
Now, you are a customer.
86
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:52,440
You're half way through your
starter, you find a beetle in it.
87
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,120
I want you to complain.
88
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,320
Right.
89
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,120
Excuse me?
90
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,400
Of course.
91
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:09,840
I'm sorry, my leg, it was
damaged in an accident.
92
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,320
For goodness' sake. I mean...
93
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,760
Babcia told me not to play on
construction site, but I was young.
94
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,120
I did not know what bulldozer was.
95
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,040
Now all I have is this job.
96
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,560
How can I help you?
97
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,320
Yeah, I really can't do this, cos...
98
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:26,080
Just, just hold it there, hold
it there. Be honest, go on.
99
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,320
Yes?
100
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,960
- Sorry, it's this salad...
- You don't like the salad?
101
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,200
My brother made that salad before he died.
102
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:37,440
Now, I make it every day in honour of him.
103
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,080
Yeah, this... is ridiculous.
104
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,920
This is brilliant. Just have another go.
105
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:45,920
How can I help you?
106
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,680
Ah, you're from the Old Country.
107
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,080
Me too, yes.
108
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,280
I see you have accident?
109
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:54,680
I also have accident, I
have very, very withered arm,
110
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,280
but I use it like scarf now to keep warm.
111
00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:59,880
So, which part of Poland are you from?
112
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,040
Krakow.
113
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,320
My family also from there many years.
114
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,280
We are like sisters,
we've bonded together, yes.
115
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:11,200
So come get the beetle
out of this shitting salad!
116
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,160
Excellent! Hug it out.
117
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,680
Oooh!
118
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,600
Hug it out. Hug it out!
119
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,960
Oh, sorry. I've got to go.
120
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,840
I promised One Direction I'd
give them a status workshop.
121
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,240
If I'm one second late,
122
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,920
little Harry will be milfing
the heck out of something.
123
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:31,680
Hello, Harry!
124
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,640
Now, I've told you to stop sexting me.
125
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,480
- You're really good at that role play stuff!
- Thanks. I love it.
126
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,436
Don't suppose you want
to do any more, do you?
127
00:06:37,437 --> 00:06:38,524
Sure. Who am I?
128
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:43,160
Right. You're going to be a
receptionist at a busy vets.
129
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,400
Now, your job is to welcome clients
130
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,760
and also to sort out the disastrous
filing left by your predecessor.
131
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:49,840
Great!
132
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:53,120
Great. All right, you start
tomorrow. Minimum wage...
133
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,400
Thank you.
134
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,720
God, this is looking so
tidy. This is a great job.
135
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:05,880
Are you enjoying it?
136
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:09,680
Hi, I don't know you. I'm
Anne-Marie, the agency sent me.
137
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,440
Wow, you like to get deep into
character, don't you? Hello.
138
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,880
Don't bin that, that's
for the rescue centre,
139
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,880
so just pop that up there, I'm
trying to raise some cash for them,
140
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,840
they are going down the tubes, poor things.
141
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,320
Ok, listen, send the next
patient in, Justine. Thanks.
142
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,360
- Anne-Marie.
- Oh, sorry, Anne-Marie.
143
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,560
Mrs Batalova, the vet will see you now.
144
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,440
I have been waiting 15 minutes.
145
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:35,440
If you were in Russia, you
would be in gulag by now.
146
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,600
I am Ivanka Budska Carolina Batalova.
147
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,920
Husband is Dmitri Konstantin Batalov.
148
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,480
This is our baby son, Sasha
Anatoli Vadim Kutchera IV.
149
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,200
Hello there, little fella.
150
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,600
Don't touch him.
151
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,320
Don't ever touch him.
152
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,840
Do you have any idea who this is?
153
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,320
Sasha... the fourth?
154
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:58,560
This is a dog from Russia's
most famous bloodline.
155
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,280
His ancestors licked the feet of the Tsars,
156
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,680
all the way back in the 14th century.
157
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,480
His great-great-great-great-grandfather
158
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,440
defecated in Lenin's shoe.
159
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,440
Don't ever touch him.
160
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:13,640
Ok. Perhaps you can tell
me what's wrong with him.
161
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:17,800
A week ago, we introduce
Sasha to Alexandria Chermatova,
162
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,320
the famous bitch.
163
00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:20,760
He did not like her.
164
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,600
We left him alone together. Nothing.
165
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,440
Now, my husband refuse
to have him in the house
166
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,040
until he makes masculine eruption.
167
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,560
He cannot make sexy with other dog.
168
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,840
He is wrong in penis, maybe.
169
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,280
- Um, uh...
- You can help?
170
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:37,520
I'll certainly try.
171
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,240
You've heard of oil?
172
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,960
- Yes.
- You've heard of gas?
173
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,240
- Yes.
- We own them.
174
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,589
If you help Sasha to achieve the wood,
175
00:08:46,290 --> 00:08:47,797
I pay you much, much money.
176
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,040
The Russian way... in bag, in boot of car.
177
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:52,240
And if I don't?
178
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,520
Same for you. Boot of car.
179
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,800
Ah, good morning. I'm from the
Practice Standards Scheme...
180
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:07,400
- Oh, here you go.
- Thank you.
181
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:11,800
Yes, I'm... Jonathan Walters, PSS.
182
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,240
Are you the receptionist
or one of the vets?
183
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,920
I am... a vet.
184
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,760
Ah... well, I inspect vets.
185
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,720
Oh, no, no... Um... no.
186
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:31,120
Ok, I just want to get some kind of
idea as to the type you like, so...
187
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,680
Let me know.
188
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:34,240
Something long-haired?
189
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,400
No? Short-haired?
190
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:41,920
How about something continental or exotic?
191
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,320
I don't know.
192
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:46,720
Are you gay?
193
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:52,520
All right, all right, easy. You
Russians, you're all the same.
194
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:55,200
So that's my dream.
195
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,000
A plastic surgery clinic for animals.
196
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,320
Called Pug Ugly?
197
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,360
Yes. I want it to be classy.
198
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:03,600
Oh, of course.
199
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,880
Well, I've never understood the
joys of small animal surgery.
200
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:10,280
For me, it's about all things equine.
201
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,120
Nothing beats sitting astride a stallion,
202
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:16,800
that taut barrel between your thighs,
203
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,800
breathing in that fresh, salty sweat,
204
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:24,680
feeling your hearts beating
as one and then jum... p!
205
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,320
Ah...
206
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,600
Mmmm.
207
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,680
- Do you know what I mean?
- Not really.
208
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:34,720
Anyhow, we should trot on,
get on with this inspection.
209
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:38,200
I'm not sure what's keeping our senior vet.
210
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,320
Perhaps we should hurry her along.
211
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,880
Yes, why not.
212
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:46,800
Do you want a bit of
butt, eh? In your face?
213
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:50,280
I'm the Beyonce of animal
behaviourism, look at this.
214
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,200
This is Jonathan.
215
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,400
Of course.
216
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,040
Jonathan Walters, PSS.
217
00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:01,200
I've been chatting to your colleague
and I have to say she's abreast
218
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,120
- of some very cutting-edge surgical techniques.
- Really?
219
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:06,840
Uh, eh... lovely to meet you.
220
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,320
Um... one thing.
221
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:13,200
On the form, there are two
vets listed at the practice,
222
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:17,560
but I've got them written as
Sara and Daniel. Is that right?
223
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:18,880
That should read Danielle.
224
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:20,938
Danielle, I'll make that change.
225
00:11:20,939 --> 00:11:23,595
And you just do small animals here, yes?
226
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,720
Nothing bigger, like...
227
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,280
horses?
228
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:32,760
It's very hard to get a horse
into a small urban practice.
229
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,440
Your loss.
230
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,560
Well, Danielle's offered to take
me on a tour of the premises,
231
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:40,760
so if I can just take a
moment to clear my nostrils,
232
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,080
I'll be right with you.
233
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,440
What are you playing at?
234
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,920
Role-playing. Like you asked.
235
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,440
I said receptionist, not vet.
236
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,320
You know, I got bored.
237
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:55,000
Well, I get bored, but I don't
suddenly turn into a florist!
238
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,320
Why are you talking with
that Northern accent?
239
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,560
Well, the only thing
I could think of was...
240
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,320
All Creatures Great And Small.
241
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:05,560
Well, thanks very much, Tristan,
you have landed me right in it.
242
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,280
Well, thank you both. That was
a very interesting briefing.
243
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:16,960
I'll certainly take on board your
comments about a uniform, Danielle.
244
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:21,120
Yeah, do think about it.
I'd go floral or pastel.
245
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:25,680
Just... something to soften
the whole evil inspector vibe.
246
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:28,760
Well, I'll see you tomorrow, then.
247
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,320
Tomorrow?
248
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,600
Yes, for the one-on-one interviews.
249
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:37,760
It's just the basics... CPD records,
rates of post-surgical infection,
250
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,080
that sort of thing.
251
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:42,280
- I might watch a procedure too, if that suits.
- Absolutely!
252
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:46,200
Well, have a good evening. And thanks.
253
00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,720
- Bye-bye.
- Bye!
254
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:54,280
I think that went brilliantly.
255
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,680
You told him we'd treated a unicorn.
256
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,124
Yeah, I was trying to impress him!
257
00:12:58,125 --> 00:13:00,760
I mean, they're rare, aren't they?
258
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,760
They are, they are very rare.
259
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:06,240
How come I didn't know he
was coming two days in a row?
260
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,560
Where's that letter?
261
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:08,640
It's here.
262
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,720
Under 'S' for 'Scary'.
263
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,120
Does anybody file traditionally any more
264
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,320
or is it all done by emotional states?
265
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,280
This isn't going to work, I'm
going to need to get Daniel back.
266
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,360
And I'm going to tell him a story.
267
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,120
I shall say that you were a locum or...
268
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,640
just a passing nutter.
269
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,240
Oh.
270
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:31,200
So does that mean the role play's over?
271
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,720
Yes.
272
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,520
Well, who am I going to be now?
273
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,760
Er... Justine?
274
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,320
And what is her motivation?
275
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,440
Do you know, I've never really had a clue.
276
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,640
'Please leave a message.'
277
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,120
'Hi, this is a message for Sara. It's Eve.'
278
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,560
'Um... ok, when you get
this, can you call me?'
279
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,560
'I really need to talk
to you, it's about my dog.'
280
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:53,920
'Are you there?'
281
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,480
'If you're there, please,
can you pick up, it's urgent.'
282
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,880
- Aren't you going to call her back?
- Nope, it's a ploy.
283
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,160
She knows that I know
she is seeing somebody.
284
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,040
So this is just another
way of reeling me in.
285
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,360
But her dog...
286
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,120
It's a lie. Trust me.
287
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,720
- Gosh.
- Mmm.
288
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,280
Can I just keep the Northern accent?
289
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:14,800
No, lass.
290
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:27,920
Daniel!
291
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:31,040
Daniel!
292
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,440
Oh, it's you. What the bloody
hell are you doing here?
293
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,480
Look, it's going really badly,
this inspection. Really badly.
294
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,240
I just need you to come by
tomorrow and help me out, please.
295
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:45,080
I'm sorry, I told you, I'm
busy for the next few days.
296
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,000
It's Ninja Vixen time.
297
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:51,560
Oh, yes, sorry, I forgot. Yes, it's
you and Red Sonja and Queen Carnal,
298
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:55,360
Empress Gonorrhoea, all just
holed up for the weekend.
299
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,360
Great. You'd rather sit in that flat
300
00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,320
and play video games than
help me out. You loser!
301
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,240
Who dares to call you
a loser, Prince Gothica?
302
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:06,680
Be calm, my princess, or
you may wake The Vixen.
303
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,840
So sorry to interrupt.
304
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:12,520
Um... great to meet you.
305
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,640
Lovely sword, by the way.
306
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:18,000
I... I should go, anyway,
I was just going to...
307
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,880
Yeah, if you wouldn't mind.
308
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,760
I'm mid-wargasm, yeah?
309
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,960
Ok, so not into bondage,
then? We know that.
310
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,680
You're so vanilla.
311
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,480
Right, now, I think we could kick off
312
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:38,560
with a little relaxer that I
picked up from the Cujareno tribe
313
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:43,160
in the Amazon... "la danza de
las mujeres desnudas hormonales"
314
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,440
or The Dance of the
Hormonal Naked Women. Right.
315
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:49,320
Now, what we need is some rush matting
316
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:52,160
and a couple of corks, ok?
317
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,840
No?
318
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,240
No.
319
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:58,680
Shame. Nevermind, let's do
a simple exercise instead.
320
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:02,120
We each take it in turns to make a claim
321
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:06,240
and then, the others guess
whether it's true or false.
322
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:06,990
Right.
323
00:16:06,991 --> 00:16:09,595
Eventually, we build up enough
trust and knowledge of the group
324
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,440
to be able to disclose something genuine.
325
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,160
Yes, all right, Jamie, you start.
326
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,480
Right, ok.
327
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,520
- I like relaxing with...
- That's a lie. He never relaxes.
328
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,680
Damn! She's good, she's good.
329
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,440
My turn, my turn, my turn!
330
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,120
I once played Spin The
Bottle with the Queen Mother.
331
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,800
- True.
- True.
332
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:27,960
False.
333
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,240
No, it was Prince Albert of Monaco.
334
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,480
I once exploded a gerbil.
335
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,120
True.
336
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:38,240
False.
337
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,760
Actually, it's false. Just mildly expanded.
338
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:44,880
I was once cautioned by the
Italian police for cleaning toe jam
339
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,800
from Michelangelo's David.
340
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,200
True!
341
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,880
Damn! I'm rubbish at this.
342
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,040
Last night, I had an
erotic dream about Jamie
343
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,400
in which we performed position 16
of the Kama Sutra... the wheelbarrow.
344
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:56,720
That's false!
345
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,400
I think it's true.
346
00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,800
It is true.
347
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:03,680
And then, we went on to perform the
wagon wheel and the angry lobster.
348
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:04,800
Oh, God...
349
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,680
Well, I once took down a
client's details from our records
350
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:11,240
and went to her house, because I've
got a really terrible crush on her
351
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,360
and it's doomed to failure.
352
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:14,680
True!
353
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,120
Well done!
354
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:18,320
Now, Jamie, get the stopwatch!
355
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:19,960
Right, I'm coming in!
356
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,080
Right, that's it, I'm coming in!
357
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:25,120
I don't want to be re-born.
I don't want to be re-born.
358
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,480
- Morning!
- Morning!
359
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,560
No luck with Daniel, then?
360
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:35,160
No, he's currently upside
down being flagellated
361
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,440
by an Essex leather princess.
362
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,280
Well, I got your message and I'm...
363
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,200
I am ready.
364
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,920
- Yeah?
- I spent all of last night researching being a vet.
365
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,640
Ask me anything, anything at all.
366
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,920
What vaccines do you
give a ten-week-old pup?
367
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:54,720
Measles, mumps, rubella and if
it's been a cold winter, a flu jab?
368
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,480
How do lambs acquire immunity?
369
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,960
I want to say if they become diplomats,
370
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,440
but I know that's not right, is it?
371
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:03,800
Or is it?
372
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,240
We're doomed.
373
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,240
- No, we're not, cos I've got a back-up plan.
- Oh, God!
374
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,920
I've asked Jamie to come in
and he's going to kick up a fuss
375
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,600
about his rabbit's appendix.
376
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,040
Rabbits don't have appendixes.
377
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,880
Then, you'll be able to tell him
that, showing off your knowledge.
378
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,120
Morning.
379
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,560
Can I get you a cup of tea?
380
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,480
No, thank you. I'm a bit pressed for time,
381
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,760
so let's crack on with the interviews
and have look at your surgical rota.
382
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,240
Do you have copies of your CVs?
383
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,480
CVs?
384
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,800
Yes. I assume you do have copies.
385
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,920
Yeah, of course we do, in our cupboard.
386
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,000
Filed under... F.
387
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,240
Come in.
388
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,720
Take a seat.
389
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,040
So, Daniel.
390
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,840
That's a good start, isn't it?
391
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,120
Let's change that to Danielle.
392
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,360
I've been reading your mission statement,
393
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:57,840
"I can lead a horse to water,
but I can't make it drink."
394
00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,320
What does that even mean?
395
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,760
"I am a sexual talisman who brings energy,
396
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,040
vigour and potency to the party."
397
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,800
Well... don't interrupt me.
398
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,360
"My hobbies include battle re-enactments,
399
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:16,440
cage fighting, helping
animals and big-game hunting."
400
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:22,280
"I pride myself on my attention
to detail, team management skills,
401
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:26,920
organisational abilities
and my attention to detail."
402
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,160
Ahh... I haven't finished.
403
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:33,000
I quote, "I am very
experienced at Pubic Relations."
404
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:37,160
Not presenting a very good picture, is it?
405
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,560
Right. Sum yourself up in 18 words.
406
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:43,440
Oh! Um... this isn't counting
towards my words, is it?
407
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:44,800
Really?
408
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,080
So how many have I got left?
409
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,200
Oh.
410
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:51,640
Care to tell me what's going on?
411
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,800
- What do you mean?
- Well, your colleague, Danielle.
412
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,120
- What about her?
- She's patently not qualified.
413
00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:57,760
What gives you that idea?
414
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,640
When I asked her about her
training, she cited Spring Watch
415
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:02,680
and Lambing Live.
416
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:05,080
She thinks a gecko is a baby T-Rex.
417
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,320
She's a maverick.
418
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,960
When I asked her which animal she'd most
like to encounter, she said, "A wookie."
419
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,360
Oh, God, not wookie.
420
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:16,080
Ok. So she's not a vet.
421
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:17,680
She's... she's my friend.
422
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,280
She was here helping out
and we were a vet short
423
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:24,800
and well, she knew how important
this inspection was to me, so...
424
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,240
it all just snowballed from there.
425
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,240
I lied. I'm sorry. I'm prepared
to face the consequences.
426
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,320
But why would you do that? Why lie?
427
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:35,080
To smooth things over? To
avoid disappointing someone?
428
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:38,800
To indulge someone's fantasy
of being something they're not.
429
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,800
Haven't you ever done that?
430
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,480
I always wanted to be a pirate
but I'm frightened of water,
431
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,120
so I became a vet.
432
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:49,160
What about you? You can't have
always wanted to be an inspector.
433
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,080
Damn it, where's my inhaler?
434
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,800
I thought you said you had a cold?
435
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,720
- I do.
- Well, why would you need an inhaler?
436
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,040
Why not?
437
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:59,880
Well, no reason, but, I mean, inhalers
you'd usually use it for, I don't know...
438
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,560
Have you been shaving cats in here?
439
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,000
You have, haven't you?
440
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,480
No! Well, one or two, maybe.
441
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,080
Well, just help me look for it, please!
442
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,360
Why do you need an inhaler, Jonathan?
443
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,040
I mean, usually you would
use an inhaler for...
444
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,680
All right!
445
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,560
Just give me the inhaler, please.
446
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,840
You wanted to be a pirate.
447
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,960
Well, I always wanted to be a vet.
448
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,040
From the moment I saw my
first horse, I knew it.
449
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,080
A palomino called Sally.
450
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,640
Lovely springy barrel.
451
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,040
The way her spine dug into my tailbone...
452
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,400
So I studied and studied,
got into vet school.
453
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,960
And then, out of nowhere,
in the second year,
454
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:56,000
I started wheezing and coughing and...
455
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,720
Well, that was it.
456
00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,080
I'm sorry.
457
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:00,920
My only real regret is that I...
458
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:04,520
I never got to save a life.
459
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:08,560
Nobody in a suit ever did
anything as wondrous as that.
460
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,720
Is there a vet here? I need help!
461
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,720
Help, I need a vet!
462
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,600
Help!
463
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,840
Hi, I need a vet. My
rabbit's appendix have burst.
464
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,920
Rabbits don't have appendix.
465
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,680
Well, there's something very wrong with her
466
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:30,000
and I need you to come with me now.
467
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:37,680
Oh, no... oh, no.
468
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,320
Oh, no, no...
469
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:45,200
Get it away from me. I'm in
moleskin! I'm in moleskin!
470
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,200
I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to touch him!
471
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,680
He's related to the Romanovs or something.
472
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,960
Oh, God! It's got its lipstick out.
473
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,400
Not the moleskin.
474
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,320
Can you help me, please?
475
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,707
He's just collapsed,
he's been puking all day.
476
00:23:00,708 --> 00:23:01,708
Didn't you get my message?
477
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,280
Oh, just keep him lying still.
478
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,400
I need to check his
stomach, it's very swollen.
479
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,640
Ok, we'll skip bloodworks
and radiography...
480
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,920
Daniel, can you prep the surgery please?
481
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,120
Daniel?
482
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:13,280
Oh, shit!
483
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,520
I can do it, if you like.
484
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,960
Ok, I would need you to prepare the
surgery for an emergency gastrotomy.
485
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,160
I will need minor
surgery pack and scrub in.
486
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:22,800
Justine, you too, scrub in.
487
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,360
Ok, we're getting the exploration.
488
00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:26,960
Mid-line abdominal approach,
cutting along the linea alba.
489
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,440
Blood pressure 137, 138, still rising.
490
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:33,480
That's the digital clock, Justine.
491
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:34,880
This is exciting, isn't it?
492
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,120
You know, I haven't been
in an operating theatre
493
00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:39,560
since I removed an infected
bit from a Shetland.
494
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:42,440
The way the light caught her
shaggy mane. She was naked.
495
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:43,680
I was naked.
496
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,400
We were all naked.
497
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,920
I hate to interrupt, do naked
later, let's save this dog.
498
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,560
Look, there's something in
there blocking the pylorus.
499
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:55,080
I can't see it. Listen, do
you want to take the reins?
500
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,040
Oh, I'd love to but before I begin,
501
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,120
I need to know how many hands is he?
502
00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:01,160
Ok, four and a thumb.
503
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,760
- Four and a thumb. Forceps.
- Forceps, right.
504
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,040
God, how did I miss that?
505
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,680
What is that? It's a palace?
506
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,080
- Actually, it's a fortress.
- Not you as well.
507
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,000
- Is there a difference?
- A fortress is a military installation.
508
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,600
You're my hero.
509
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,160
Right, ok, let's clean the wound.
510
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000
Might need to... just...
511
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:28,440
This is fine, it's just... it's just snot.
512
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,200
Damn, he's losing too much blood.
513
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:32,280
Justine?
514
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:33,840
I've got a steady reading of 9.2.
515
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,280
They're the weighing scales,
you're standing on them.
516
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:37,920
I can't stabilise the pressure!
517
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:39,800
All right, increase fluids.
518
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,520
Not you, Justine, the dog!
519
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,400
- Clamp.
- Clamp.
520
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,600
Come on,
521
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,480
come on, boy!
522
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,240
We're not going to lose you.
523
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:56,960
Whoa...
524
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:58,600
easy there...
525
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:01,440
Perfect job, Jonathan.
526
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:02,680
Thank you.
527
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:06,440
Now, pass me the suture needle
and let's get this gelding sown up.
528
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,840
I'm not quite sure what to
make of the past couple of days,
529
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:14,600
but thank you.
530
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,600
It's been great to get back in the saddle.
531
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:18,470
Well, thank you.
532
00:25:18,471 --> 00:25:21,435
I mean, I promise I'll be an awful
lot more straightforward next time.
533
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:23,080
Ah, your secret's safe with me.
534
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:27,080
Oh, I hope you don't mind... I'd
like to keep this as a souvenir.
535
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,200
It will sit well next to my dressage cup.
536
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,400
- Of course you can.
- Thank you.
537
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,720
Oh, now we've both got a souvenir.
538
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,520
Indeed. Nice to meet you.
539
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:42,640
And you.
540
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,000
I need to warn you he's
left half of his sinus cavity
541
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,560
in your dog's stomach.
542
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,240
- Oh, does that mean we need to come back?
- Stop it.
543
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,240
I came to your house.
544
00:25:56,240 --> 00:26:00,520
Oh, so that was you by the bins
in the night vision goggles?
545
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,760
I came to your house.
546
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,200
I know you did.
547
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,160
Well, I guessed it was you.
548
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,200
You ran off, I wanted to...
549
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,815
I'm very sorry. I've
been incredibly childish.
550
00:26:12,816 --> 00:26:14,173
I should have answered
the phone when you called
551
00:26:14,174 --> 00:26:16,456
and I should have done that
consultation and that was...
552
00:26:17,257 --> 00:26:18,399
incredibly unprofessional.
553
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:19,560
It won't happen again.
554
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,960
I'm here for Sasha. Have
you made him erect yet?
555
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:28,600
I haven't, no, but our resident
sexologist, Dr James has.
556
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:29,207
Excellent.
557
00:26:29,208 --> 00:26:32,521
My husband will be delighted that there
is no longer a eunuch in the house.
558
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:34,480
I bring you this as arranged.
559
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,640
Do not ask where it comes from.
560
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,280
Where is my dog?
561
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:42,160
We must plunge him immediately
into Alexandria Chermatova VII
562
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:43,760
while she is still drippy.
563
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:45,640
He is just there, I'll go get him.
564
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,960
Ok, Jamie, time to go.
565
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,560
- Where are we going?
- Well, I'm not going anywhere.
566
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,760
But you're going with
a very nice Russian lady
567
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,280
to create the next
generation of Slavic sex pest.
568
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:03,960
I'm not going. You can't make me.
569
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:08,400
I'm not going to make you,
no. But I can offer you this,
570
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,200
which could be, I don't know,
571
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:13,360
a lifetime's supply of mop
heads, microfibre cloths,
572
00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:17,920
hand sanitisers, whatever
you want it to be, really.
573
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,720
You promise me there'll be no touching?
574
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,120
I promise.
575
00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:24,560
Right, all sorted, Mrs Batalova.
576
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:28,480
Dr James will come with you
now and oversee the mating.
577
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,160
Sasha.
578
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,040
Just so you know the last dog
of hers who didn't make sexy
579
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,600
ended up as that coat,
so get it up, old fella.
580
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:44,360
Listen, about the other day...
581
00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:48,000
It is over. I just... I haven't
had the guts to say so, that's all.
582
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,200
It's not for me to judge you, you know.
583
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:51,600
I would be hypocritical.
584
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,640
There's plenty of things I haven't
told the people that I love,
585
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,840
so it's just... call it quits.
586
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,840
We really need to sort ourselves
out, don't we? It's so BORING.
587
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:01,508
How do you think I feel?
588
00:28:01,509 --> 00:28:03,719
This is the first time I've
had to be a grown up, horrible!
589
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,320
I suggest you leave now
before I change my mind.
590
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,560
- How long before you crack?
- Three seconds.
591
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:10,646
- Three seconds isn't long...
- Two seconds.
592
00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:12,489
- You're being very strict.
- One...
593
00:28:12,490 --> 00:28:15,680
- All right! I'm gone.
- Very strict, go on, go on.
594
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:20,960
Sara, Sara, I'm not going.
595
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:22,720
I'm not going, ok?
596
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,520
I know you can hear me.
597
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:28,520
You cannot make me sit in a confined
space with that perverted hound.
598
00:28:29,961 --> 00:28:39,961
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