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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:30,004 This is a nightmare. How do I look? 2 00:00:30,004 --> 00:00:32,164 Like a rhino that's been to SpecSavers. 3 00:00:32,164 --> 00:00:33,284 Is she here yet? 4 00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:35,604 Yes, but don't worry, your personality'll repel her 5 00:00:35,604 --> 00:00:37,364 long before she notices the hair. 6 00:00:37,364 --> 00:00:38,884 Please do me a favour - stall her. 7 00:00:38,884 --> 00:00:40,964 Just for five minutes while I sort this out, OK? 8 00:00:40,964 --> 00:00:42,004 No problem. 9 00:00:45,044 --> 00:00:47,084 Hi. Daniel said to come straight in. 10 00:00:47,084 --> 00:00:48,764 Hi. How are you? 11 00:00:48,764 --> 00:00:50,844 Wow! What happened? 12 00:00:50,844 --> 00:00:53,124 - You've seen Something About Mary? - Yeah... 13 00:00:53,124 --> 00:00:56,524 - That. But with an un-neutered tom cat. - Oh. 14 00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,404 Yeah. Anyway, how is the...? 15 00:00:58,404 --> 00:00:59,564 Dog? 16 00:00:59,564 --> 00:01:00,724 Yes, got that bit. 17 00:01:00,724 --> 00:01:02,484 I can't remember if it's a boy or a girl. 18 00:01:02,484 --> 00:01:03,764 I can draw you a diagram... 19 00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:07,084 No, don't take the fun out of it - I want to see what I can remember. 20 00:01:07,084 --> 00:01:09,284 Right...it's 50/50, isn't it? 21 00:01:10,964 --> 00:01:13,844 - Boy? - Is the right answer! - BUZZER 22 00:01:13,844 --> 00:01:15,284 Oh, now I see them. 23 00:01:16,484 --> 00:01:19,604 'Testing, testing. Message to the pointy-headed prat. 24 00:01:19,604 --> 00:01:22,604 'This is Death Warrior. The guy from the needle bank's here. 25 00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:26,164 'Could you give me the approximate co-ordinates of the sharps, please? Over.' 26 00:01:26,164 --> 00:01:29,724 This is the pointy-headed prat, your employer, calling bearded bastard. 27 00:01:29,724 --> 00:01:33,924 Saying that the needle bank is exactly where it always is, by the door in the plastic bin. 28 00:01:33,924 --> 00:01:35,764 Sorry, that's Daniel. 29 00:01:35,764 --> 00:01:40,044 Take cretin, times it by pillock, add an ounce of dopey and that's him for you. 30 00:01:40,044 --> 00:01:43,964 '10-4. Heard that. You forgot to turn the intercom off. Over.' 31 00:01:46,284 --> 00:01:47,204 Oh! 32 00:01:47,204 --> 00:01:49,604 OK, so, how's he doing? 33 00:01:49,604 --> 00:01:52,964 He's pretty stiff, actually. He's still having trouble walking. 34 00:01:52,964 --> 00:01:56,524 Tell you what, rest him up, and come back in a few days and we'll see how he's doing. 35 00:01:56,524 --> 00:01:57,804 Here? 36 00:01:57,804 --> 00:01:59,564 Yes. Why? 37 00:01:59,564 --> 00:02:03,364 I was thinking he might benefit from having his consultations 38 00:02:03,364 --> 00:02:06,924 in a more...relaxed environment. 39 00:02:06,924 --> 00:02:10,284 Say, in...in...in...the evening? 40 00:02:10,284 --> 00:02:14,244 - Yes. - I'm actually better in half-light. So, works for me. 41 00:02:14,244 --> 00:02:16,404 Preferably somewhere that serves cocktails. 42 00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:18,644 He loves a cocktail. 43 00:02:18,644 --> 00:02:21,484 Well, what dog doesn't like to just kick back with a pina colada? 44 00:02:22,804 --> 00:02:25,604 I'm trying to think of some dog-based cocktail puns now. 45 00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:27,684 Jack Spaniels and Coke? 46 00:02:27,684 --> 00:02:31,284 Technically a spirit and a mixer, but I will let you off that. 47 00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,764 Well, I'll give you a call tomorrow and we'll arrange. 48 00:02:33,764 --> 00:02:35,604 - Thanks again. - You're welcome. 49 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:40,924 Oh, and next time maybe you could make more of an effort with your outfit. 50 00:02:40,924 --> 00:02:43,604 The least I expect is a white coat and a pair of latex gloves. 51 00:02:48,764 --> 00:02:50,244 - See you. - Bye. 52 00:02:55,204 --> 00:02:57,964 Daniel, I need you to get me a surgical gown, scrub suit, 53 00:02:57,964 --> 00:03:01,564 theatre clogs, rubber mask, stethoscope and anti-microbial waders. 54 00:03:01,564 --> 00:03:03,604 And make them...sexy. 55 00:03:03,604 --> 00:03:07,884 OK, I'm just going to go on a tea break. So if you can just handle the consults. I'll be back in about 15. 56 00:03:07,884 --> 00:03:09,404 Go on, you can cover for me. 57 00:03:09,404 --> 00:03:10,404 No. 58 00:03:10,404 --> 00:03:12,204 What do you mean, "No"?! 59 00:03:12,204 --> 00:03:16,524 I'm incompetent, remember? Tosspot multiplied by imbecile 60 00:03:16,524 --> 00:03:18,644 to the power of moron squared. 61 00:03:18,644 --> 00:03:22,084 That's logged, that is. I won't forget that. 62 00:03:22,084 --> 00:03:26,364 Well, that was a joke, because obviously, you're a great person and a brilliant vet and I... 63 00:03:26,364 --> 00:03:28,124 I'm not up to the job, am I? Remember? 64 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:31,604 Oh, come on, Daniel, don't leave me to do this! I don't know what I'm doing! 65 00:03:31,604 --> 00:03:34,004 I mean...I pop Demerol during consults. 66 00:03:34,004 --> 00:03:35,964 I laugh at bald cats. 67 00:03:35,964 --> 00:03:38,884 I once played keepy-uppy with an anaesthetised hedgehog! 68 00:03:45,164 --> 00:03:46,564 And the next patient, please. 69 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:51,364 Good news is you've fast-tracked after that, um, hedgehog situation. 70 00:03:53,844 --> 00:03:55,604 OK, Julia, if you'd like to take a seat. 71 00:03:55,604 --> 00:03:56,764 Oh! 72 00:03:58,244 --> 00:04:00,964 - That is so lovely. - Really? 73 00:04:02,244 --> 00:04:05,444 - Is it an original? - No, I got it at a car boot. 74 00:04:05,444 --> 00:04:09,484 Just gives me something fun to look at when I'm redirecting a chinchilla's colon. 75 00:04:09,484 --> 00:04:11,204 Oh! 76 00:04:11,204 --> 00:04:14,404 Come on! You've obviously got an eye. 77 00:04:14,404 --> 00:04:16,844 I don't think anyone has ever said that before! 78 00:04:16,844 --> 00:04:18,764 It really lifts the place! 79 00:04:18,764 --> 00:04:21,284 Anyway - you! How can I help you? 80 00:04:22,444 --> 00:04:25,124 Actually, Sara, it's quite sensitive. 81 00:04:26,564 --> 00:04:27,764 I'm getting divorced. 82 00:04:27,764 --> 00:04:30,084 It's been very upsetting. 83 00:04:30,084 --> 00:04:33,404 I don't know if you've ever been married, but the pain is... 84 00:04:33,404 --> 00:04:36,364 absolutely overwhelming. And now I have... 85 00:04:36,364 --> 00:04:38,484 - BUZZER - 'Apologies. Emergency. 86 00:04:38,484 --> 00:04:40,244 - 'Do we see chickens?' - Excuse me. 87 00:04:40,244 --> 00:04:41,844 'Only there's one been brought in, 88 00:04:41,844 --> 00:04:44,924 'and from the injuries, it looks like it's been trying to cross a...' 89 00:04:48,764 --> 00:04:51,844 I think we've sorted that problem. OK. Right, you were saying...? 90 00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:56,164 Well, I suppose things haven't been right for a while. 91 00:04:56,164 --> 00:04:58,324 I guess we stayed together for Rufus. 92 00:04:58,324 --> 00:05:00,004 And now John wants to move on. 93 00:05:00,004 --> 00:05:02,044 You do know this is a vet's? 94 00:05:02,044 --> 00:05:03,444 Yeah. 95 00:05:03,444 --> 00:05:05,444 However much I'd like to and you'd like to, 96 00:05:05,444 --> 00:05:09,124 I am not actually legally allowed to neuter your husband. 97 00:05:12,244 --> 00:05:14,284 Well, I'm sorry to have wasted your time. 98 00:05:15,364 --> 00:05:16,764 So am I. I'm very busy! 99 00:05:16,764 --> 00:05:19,204 THEY LAUGH 100 00:05:20,364 --> 00:05:22,604 God, no, I'm rambling, sorry. 101 00:05:22,604 --> 00:05:23,884 Rufus is our dog. 102 00:05:23,884 --> 00:05:25,044 I see. 103 00:05:25,044 --> 00:05:26,564 He's all I've got left now. 104 00:05:27,684 --> 00:05:30,324 And I'm worried John is going to take him from me, Sara! 105 00:05:30,324 --> 00:05:32,164 Oh, God! 106 00:05:33,604 --> 00:05:36,644 - SOBS: - He's taking me to court for custody! 107 00:05:38,324 --> 00:05:40,204 He won't stop until I have nothing! 108 00:05:44,284 --> 00:05:47,844 Did you have any sort of provision in place? Any kind of... 109 00:05:47,844 --> 00:05:49,604 pre-pup? 110 00:05:49,604 --> 00:05:51,364 Pup-nup? 111 00:05:51,364 --> 00:05:54,084 No, God, nothing like that. 112 00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,444 John's got another woman in his life. 113 00:05:57,444 --> 00:06:00,204 I don't know why he won't let me keep my lovely boy! 114 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,604 All right, listen. So what can I do? 115 00:06:07,364 --> 00:06:08,644 They say you're the best. 116 00:06:08,644 --> 00:06:10,404 Do they? Who says that? 117 00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:11,804 My friend Tara. 118 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:17,364 - She said when she got divorced, you fought tooth and nail for her to keep her Rioja. - Rioja? 119 00:06:17,364 --> 00:06:18,724 Her lizard. 120 00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:21,644 Dry skin? Bulging eyes. 121 00:06:21,644 --> 00:06:22,684 Oh, THAT Tara! 122 00:06:23,964 --> 00:06:26,404 Her lizard, Rioja. 123 00:06:26,404 --> 00:06:28,884 Oh, THAT lizard! Yes. 124 00:06:28,884 --> 00:06:32,644 I just need someone to act as an expert witness on my behalf. 125 00:06:32,644 --> 00:06:35,204 All you'd need to do is come round to the house, 126 00:06:35,204 --> 00:06:37,964 do a behavioural study on little Rufus, 127 00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:40,644 just to confirm he's more bonded to me. 128 00:06:40,644 --> 00:06:42,524 What I'm going to do is get a form, OK, 129 00:06:42,524 --> 00:06:45,324 and then we'll fill that out and get some more details. 130 00:06:45,324 --> 00:06:46,644 Thank you. 131 00:06:46,644 --> 00:06:48,284 Thank you! 132 00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:52,724 You know I do like your hair, Sara. 133 00:06:53,764 --> 00:06:55,764 I can't get mine to lift like that. 134 00:06:55,764 --> 00:06:57,604 What product do you use? 135 00:07:03,444 --> 00:07:06,604 You two look like you're in a menopausal version of the Dukes of Hazzard! 136 00:07:06,604 --> 00:07:10,244 You should be grateful that one of us has actually passed their test. 137 00:07:10,244 --> 00:07:14,444 Now, that's not fair. I wasn't expecting that clipboard to go down like that, and I panicked. 138 00:07:14,444 --> 00:07:16,964 You accelerated into a library. Fail. 139 00:07:17,964 --> 00:07:19,844 - Have you finished with that? - No. 140 00:07:19,844 --> 00:07:21,324 I like eating it to the core, 141 00:07:21,324 --> 00:07:24,844 leaving it in the open air, and then playing Apple Tanning Salon. 142 00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:31,364 - How long does that take? - Depends on apple size, wind direction... 143 00:07:32,844 --> 00:07:34,404 - What are you doing? - What's today? 144 00:07:34,404 --> 00:07:35,684 Friday. 145 00:07:35,684 --> 00:07:36,964 Yeah. Friday is...? 146 00:07:36,964 --> 00:07:40,164 The day before the night that's all right for fighting? 147 00:07:40,164 --> 00:07:43,444 It's the day you're supposed to go for life coaching with Toria, remember? 148 00:07:43,444 --> 00:07:48,044 You were supposed to go on Monday, but you cancelled. I wouldn't mind, but we paid a lot of money for this. 149 00:07:48,044 --> 00:07:49,484 I haven't paid anything yet. 150 00:07:49,484 --> 00:07:52,524 Justine, just be quiet and watch your apple go brown. 151 00:07:53,564 --> 00:07:56,324 - What's wrong with him? - He's in a very bad mood. 152 00:07:56,324 --> 00:07:59,604 Some posh woman has been winding him up at work. 153 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:00,844 Vile little Sloane. 154 00:08:00,844 --> 00:08:04,004 I mean, who cares about the exact dimensions of a shoe cupboard? 155 00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:05,644 - You? - No. - Yeah. 156 00:08:05,644 --> 00:08:09,284 - No. - Yes! - Anyway, you'd love her. 157 00:08:09,284 --> 00:08:11,724 Come on, you adore those rich girls. 158 00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:14,164 - You're scared of them, but they excite you. - Rubbish. 159 00:08:14,164 --> 00:08:16,324 - You're desperate to be in their gang. - Rubbish! 160 00:08:16,324 --> 00:08:18,204 Anyway, we're wasting time - get in. 161 00:08:18,204 --> 00:08:20,204 You won't go and see Toria on your own, fine. 162 00:08:20,204 --> 00:08:22,244 I shall have to treat you like a child. Get in! 163 00:08:22,244 --> 00:08:24,404 I don't want to go! 164 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,604 Are we nearly there yet? 165 00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:30,124 Now, listen. 166 00:08:30,124 --> 00:08:33,404 You have got five weeks before you need to come out to your parents, 167 00:08:33,404 --> 00:08:36,044 so we better crack on. Now, a few things about me first. 168 00:08:37,164 --> 00:08:39,004 I'm 42, GSOH, 169 00:08:39,004 --> 00:08:40,164 non-smoker, 170 00:08:40,164 --> 00:08:42,764 and I'm looking for a once-a-week, no-strings hook-up. 171 00:08:42,764 --> 00:08:45,204 SHE GUFFAWS 172 00:08:45,204 --> 00:08:47,084 Are you like this with all your clients? 173 00:08:47,084 --> 00:08:49,484 Oh, absolutely! Absolutely. 174 00:08:49,484 --> 00:08:52,644 What you need to know is that I'm not a life coach. 175 00:08:52,644 --> 00:08:55,084 I'm a personal development leader. 176 00:08:55,084 --> 00:08:59,284 I've got six degrees, and before you ask, only five of them are from the internet. 177 00:08:59,284 --> 00:09:01,204 SHE GUFFAWS 178 00:09:01,204 --> 00:09:04,604 And I've developed a program - AHEL. A-HEL. 179 00:09:04,604 --> 00:09:06,284 A-HEL. Right. 180 00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:09,204 Acceptance, health, encouragement, learning. 181 00:09:09,204 --> 00:09:13,124 Do you think that acronym would work better if it was HEAL? 182 00:09:13,124 --> 00:09:16,364 Health through encouragement, acceptance and learn... 183 00:09:16,364 --> 00:09:18,164 That is absolutely wonderful! 184 00:09:18,164 --> 00:09:21,764 Do you know it spells "heal"? I'll have that if I may. Yes? 185 00:09:21,764 --> 00:09:23,324 By all means. 186 00:09:23,324 --> 00:09:24,684 BOTH GUFFAW 187 00:09:26,324 --> 00:09:28,604 Now, I work through a variety of mediums. 188 00:09:28,604 --> 00:09:30,124 A dollop of Jung, 189 00:09:30,124 --> 00:09:34,244 a splash of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, a touch of Shamanism 190 00:09:34,244 --> 00:09:35,524 and some hypnosis. 191 00:09:35,524 --> 00:09:38,084 Hypnosis?! Oh, you can't be serious. 192 00:09:38,084 --> 00:09:41,924 It's very, very effective. Gets you nice deep and relaxed. 193 00:09:41,924 --> 00:09:45,364 First patient I hypnotised - terrible phobia. 194 00:09:45,364 --> 00:09:46,404 Of what? 195 00:09:46,404 --> 00:09:47,444 Paul McKenna. 196 00:09:50,404 --> 00:09:53,964 Now, I thought we might do some suggestion work today. 197 00:09:53,964 --> 00:09:55,884 So, if you just shut your eyes. 198 00:09:55,884 --> 00:09:57,484 Right. 199 00:09:57,484 --> 00:09:59,724 You are feeling sleepy. 200 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,604 Isn't that what got Snow White nicked? 201 00:10:02,764 --> 00:10:04,844 Just relax your toes into the carpet. 202 00:10:05,964 --> 00:10:08,924 Through your feet...feeling heavy. 203 00:10:08,924 --> 00:10:10,444 Up through the ankles, 204 00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:11,884 Heavy and relaxed. 205 00:10:11,884 --> 00:10:13,764 So... 206 00:10:13,764 --> 00:10:16,124 JUSTINE HUMS "The Birdie Song" 207 00:10:16,124 --> 00:10:17,324 CLAPS 208 00:10:18,724 --> 00:10:21,044 What's happened to her? What have you done to her?! 209 00:10:21,044 --> 00:10:22,364 Nothing. 210 00:10:22,364 --> 00:10:24,684 "The Birdie Song" PLAYS 211 00:10:26,404 --> 00:10:28,604 She must have had some stage hypnosis in the past. 212 00:10:28,604 --> 00:10:29,924 It hasn't left her system. 213 00:10:29,924 --> 00:10:32,164 I don't know what the trigger is! I can't stop her! 214 00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:35,564 Are you telling me she could be doing The Birdie Song for the foreseeable future?! 215 00:10:35,564 --> 00:10:37,844 If they haven't set her on shuffle, yes! 216 00:10:37,844 --> 00:10:40,244 TORIA GUFFAWS 217 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,284 That's the routine. 218 00:10:45,284 --> 00:10:47,884 I live pretty simply now I'm in recovery. 219 00:10:47,884 --> 00:10:49,684 But you know... 220 00:10:49,684 --> 00:10:51,644 We muddle along. 221 00:10:51,644 --> 00:10:54,644 I'm sorry. I just...I had no idea. 222 00:10:54,644 --> 00:10:56,004 Yeah. 223 00:10:57,364 --> 00:10:58,764 So, what now? 224 00:10:58,764 --> 00:11:02,084 Now I just write up the report and we'll go from there, basically. 225 00:11:02,084 --> 00:11:03,324 But, um... 226 00:11:03,324 --> 00:11:07,204 It's pretty obvious that Rufus is very devoted to you. 227 00:11:08,364 --> 00:11:10,044 He's my whole world. 228 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,324 That boy's my whole world, Sara. 229 00:11:15,484 --> 00:11:16,764 Thank you. 230 00:11:20,564 --> 00:11:21,764 Is that an original? 231 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,924 My friend bought it for me. 232 00:11:23,924 --> 00:11:26,084 He's in the film business. 233 00:11:26,084 --> 00:11:27,364 Oh, really? 234 00:11:27,364 --> 00:11:29,244 Yes. Kip. 235 00:11:29,244 --> 00:11:30,884 Kip...? 236 00:11:30,884 --> 00:11:32,564 Schwitzendorf. 237 00:11:32,564 --> 00:11:33,764 Ooh! 238 00:11:33,764 --> 00:11:34,884 Ahhh! 239 00:11:36,004 --> 00:11:37,324 Don't know him. 240 00:11:37,324 --> 00:11:38,604 Oh! Um... 241 00:11:38,604 --> 00:11:40,524 Dutch Kung Fu champion? 242 00:11:40,524 --> 00:11:41,484 No? 243 00:11:41,484 --> 00:11:42,724 He was in Raw Meat. 244 00:11:43,764 --> 00:11:44,924 The Purge? 245 00:11:44,924 --> 00:11:46,284 The Assassinator? 246 00:11:46,284 --> 00:11:47,484 Oh! 247 00:11:47,484 --> 00:11:49,004 The...Assassinator? 248 00:11:49,004 --> 00:11:50,044 Yes! 249 00:11:50,044 --> 00:11:52,484 He's over to promote his new action movie. 250 00:11:52,484 --> 00:11:54,084 Hey! 251 00:11:54,084 --> 00:11:57,404 Why don't you and your friends come along to his drinks night? 252 00:11:57,404 --> 00:12:02,324 Oh, say yes, Sara! It's the least I can do to thank you for your time. 253 00:12:02,324 --> 00:12:04,484 Well, that would be amazing! Thank you. 254 00:12:04,484 --> 00:12:06,044 Listen... 255 00:12:06,044 --> 00:12:08,324 Don't panic if you see John out there. 256 00:12:08,324 --> 00:12:11,044 He's come round to pick up his stuff from the garage. 257 00:12:11,044 --> 00:12:16,004 - I really hope he's not going to be horrid. - Don't worry, I am going to channel some of Kip's moves. 258 00:12:19,924 --> 00:12:20,964 Oh! 259 00:12:20,964 --> 00:12:23,724 Oh, God, Sara, I am so sorry. Right in the cabbage! 260 00:12:28,484 --> 00:12:29,524 Bye. 261 00:12:31,044 --> 00:12:32,124 All right. 262 00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:34,764 No, it's not too much. 263 00:12:34,764 --> 00:12:37,204 I love you, so nothing's too much. 264 00:12:40,604 --> 00:12:42,604 Yeah, I'll be round as soon as I can. 265 00:12:42,604 --> 00:12:43,844 M'lud... 266 00:12:43,844 --> 00:12:45,964 M'lady... 267 00:12:45,964 --> 00:12:48,004 and M'jury... 268 00:12:49,284 --> 00:12:52,564 In my professional opinion, 269 00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,484 this canis lupus... 270 00:12:57,484 --> 00:12:58,964 Lupus, not lucid... 271 00:13:00,284 --> 00:13:02,404 Why are you auto-correcting that?! Lupus! 272 00:13:02,404 --> 00:13:05,204 "Canis pubis" isn't a word, right? 273 00:13:07,164 --> 00:13:11,444 This dog would be best suited to residing 274 00:13:11,444 --> 00:13:14,684 with Mrs Julia... 275 00:13:14,684 --> 00:13:16,164 BUZZER 276 00:13:20,804 --> 00:13:23,644 - 'Hi. Your carriage awaits.' - You're early. 277 00:13:23,644 --> 00:13:26,044 'Yes, well, I thought I could clean your bath.' 278 00:13:26,044 --> 00:13:27,564 Victory! 279 00:13:27,564 --> 00:13:29,804 'Is that terrapin still in it?' 280 00:13:29,804 --> 00:13:32,364 Oh, God, well remembered. Listen, come up. 281 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:36,764 I think we are third in the league. 282 00:13:36,764 --> 00:13:40,804 Which means, if we win today, and Harriers lose, then we get to be runners up. I think. 283 00:13:40,804 --> 00:13:42,764 I'm not really interested in the scores. 284 00:13:42,764 --> 00:13:45,284 I only watch it because I like the squeak the trainers make. 285 00:13:45,284 --> 00:13:47,324 - Why are you wearing that gear? - Why are you not? 286 00:13:47,324 --> 00:13:48,804 Did you not get the email? 287 00:13:48,804 --> 00:13:52,084 Oh, sorry, Justine. To be honest, I haven't read your emails for months. 288 00:13:52,084 --> 00:13:53,284 Why not? 289 00:13:53,284 --> 00:13:55,804 CACOPHONY OF ELECTRONIC MEOWING 290 00:13:58,484 --> 00:13:59,804 No reason. 291 00:13:59,804 --> 00:14:01,244 The other team pulled out. 292 00:14:01,244 --> 00:14:03,404 Both their goal attacks got a stomach bug. 293 00:14:03,404 --> 00:14:06,124 Daniel suggested we go on a team-bonding trip. 294 00:14:06,124 --> 00:14:07,964 Daniel? Why's he involved? 295 00:14:07,964 --> 00:14:12,044 I don't know, but whatever it is, he's taking it very seriously. 296 00:14:15,524 --> 00:14:16,804 OK! 297 00:14:16,804 --> 00:14:18,684 Listen up, soldiers. 298 00:14:19,924 --> 00:14:22,244 You've been put into two different teams. 299 00:14:23,444 --> 00:14:26,564 Your task is to capture your opponent's flag, 300 00:14:26,564 --> 00:14:28,404 whilst protecting your own. 301 00:14:28,404 --> 00:14:30,164 DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! 302 00:14:30,164 --> 00:14:31,764 ALL: YES, SIR! 303 00:14:31,764 --> 00:14:34,604 There is no way I am wearing a camouflage boiler suit. 304 00:14:34,604 --> 00:14:36,844 Well, I can swap you with my netball kit, if you want? 305 00:14:36,844 --> 00:14:39,884 First team to wipe out the other team wins. 306 00:14:39,884 --> 00:14:41,764 He's not a real soldier. 307 00:14:41,764 --> 00:14:43,124 You load your gun... 308 00:14:44,324 --> 00:14:45,484 ..like so. 309 00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:48,724 For starters, look at his shoes. They're not properly shined. 310 00:14:48,724 --> 00:14:50,684 And the way he's holding that weapon - 311 00:14:50,684 --> 00:14:52,604 I don't think he's seen any real combat. 312 00:14:52,604 --> 00:14:55,204 Shut up! I'm trying to listen to the safety briefing. 313 00:14:55,204 --> 00:14:57,764 I need to know if I'm taking orders from the real deal here. 314 00:14:57,764 --> 00:14:59,924 OK. Any questions? 315 00:15:01,004 --> 00:15:03,164 Yes. Will it be this muddy out on the field? 316 00:15:03,164 --> 00:15:06,884 There's mud everywhere, metrosexual. Now let's get to it! 317 00:15:08,284 --> 00:15:11,324 Lock and load, you urban muffins! 318 00:15:11,324 --> 00:15:13,124 HE ROARS 319 00:15:13,124 --> 00:15:15,284 ALL: Aaaaaarghhh! 320 00:15:15,284 --> 00:15:16,684 Aaaaaarghhh! 321 00:15:16,684 --> 00:15:18,644 Aaaaaarghhh! 322 00:15:18,644 --> 00:15:20,444 Aaaaaarghhh! 323 00:15:20,444 --> 00:15:21,724 Aaargh... 324 00:15:21,724 --> 00:15:23,804 Why are we going "Aaaaaarghhh"? 325 00:15:23,804 --> 00:15:25,644 I was copying Daniel. 326 00:15:25,644 --> 00:15:28,724 We need to have our own battle cry. 327 00:15:28,724 --> 00:15:32,244 Wooooohooooo! 328 00:15:32,244 --> 00:15:34,924 Wooooo-ooooooooo-oooooooooo-oooh! 329 00:15:36,164 --> 00:15:37,804 Maybe not that. Um... 330 00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,564 What the hell! 331 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,924 ALL: Wooooohooooo! 332 00:16:13,644 --> 00:16:16,124 - Who's left? - Just you and me. 333 00:16:16,124 --> 00:16:18,644 What? Where's Stacey? 334 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,324 - No, she... - Not another misfire? 335 00:16:21,324 --> 00:16:24,644 - Yeah, I'm sorry! I just don't know how to work this thing. - Easy, easy! 336 00:16:24,644 --> 00:16:26,004 GUNSHOT 337 00:16:27,164 --> 00:16:31,084 - Right, I think they've just got Jamie and Daniel left and that's it. - No, they could be anywhere. 338 00:16:32,524 --> 00:16:35,124 I think I'm going to sit out the rest of this goddamn war! 339 00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:36,684 You bet. 340 00:16:36,684 --> 00:16:37,724 Phew! 341 00:16:37,724 --> 00:16:39,164 I've got biscuits. 342 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,964 - Ooh! - Do you want one? 343 00:16:47,204 --> 00:16:49,244 How much do you know about action movies? 344 00:16:49,244 --> 00:16:52,124 - Everything. - Yeah? - I love them. Test me. 345 00:16:52,124 --> 00:16:53,764 Do you know some guy called Kip? 346 00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:56,044 - Kip Schwitzendorf? - Yeah. 347 00:16:56,044 --> 00:16:57,324 Oh, my God! 348 00:16:57,324 --> 00:16:58,724 He's my favourite! 349 00:16:58,724 --> 00:17:00,324 I'd never heard of him. 350 00:17:00,324 --> 00:17:05,004 Are you mad?! Tank Baby? Dark Crevice? The Assassinator? 351 00:17:05,004 --> 00:17:08,284 Yes, well, I know that now, cos I looked him up. He did Blow Off... 352 00:17:08,284 --> 00:17:10,924 Massive Metal Trousers... 353 00:17:10,924 --> 00:17:13,004 - Infinite Overkill. - Yeah. 354 00:17:13,004 --> 00:17:14,164 Oh, and my favourite... 355 00:17:14,164 --> 00:17:16,044 Busy Fist. 356 00:17:16,044 --> 00:17:17,684 Welcome to the fist! 357 00:17:17,684 --> 00:17:18,844 Busy Fist 2. 358 00:17:18,844 --> 00:17:20,324 This fist just got busier! 359 00:17:20,324 --> 00:17:21,724 Busy Fist 3. 360 00:17:21,724 --> 00:17:23,044 Same crew... 361 00:17:23,044 --> 00:17:24,564 BOTH: Even more fisty! 362 00:17:26,684 --> 00:17:28,484 How would you like to meet him? 363 00:17:28,484 --> 00:17:32,124 Stop messing around. If you're messing around, I will kill you. 364 00:17:32,124 --> 00:17:35,524 - Lower your weapon, soldier. I kid you not. - Aaah! 365 00:17:35,524 --> 00:17:38,124 This mud! I would never have worn these trousers. 366 00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:40,484 Like blotting paper. Couldn't we have done this...? 367 00:17:40,484 --> 00:17:43,484 Shall I put him out of his misery or do you want to? 368 00:17:43,484 --> 00:17:47,204 There are so many state-of-the-art playing surfaces that... 369 00:17:47,204 --> 00:17:49,724 Oh, no! No, no, no. Please. 370 00:17:49,724 --> 00:17:52,884 For God's sake, this is a cashmere mix! No! 371 00:17:52,884 --> 00:17:54,644 Have some... Oh, God! 372 00:18:06,444 --> 00:18:07,604 You... 373 00:18:07,604 --> 00:18:09,404 bastards. 374 00:18:10,804 --> 00:18:12,284 GUNSHOT 375 00:18:19,124 --> 00:18:20,364 Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh! 376 00:18:22,924 --> 00:18:26,564 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 377 00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:30,164 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 378 00:18:30,164 --> 00:18:32,804 SHE INHALES DEEPLY 379 00:18:32,804 --> 00:18:36,484 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 380 00:18:36,484 --> 00:18:38,124 SHE COUGHS 381 00:18:39,844 --> 00:18:41,604 You all right? Right! 382 00:18:41,604 --> 00:18:43,604 Aaaaaaaaaaaargh! 383 00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:53,044 Come on, just do it! Paint me. 384 00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:56,204 Consider yourself redecorated. 385 00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:01,084 I don't know. I was face down in the mud, remember? 386 00:19:01,084 --> 00:19:03,004 Contemplating my dry cleaning bill. 387 00:19:03,004 --> 00:19:05,324 One minute she was fine, the next, crazy. 388 00:19:05,324 --> 00:19:08,284 It's the shock of being shot. I don't know. 389 00:19:08,284 --> 00:19:09,964 I just want it to stop! 390 00:19:09,964 --> 00:19:12,164 SHE HUMS "The Birdie Song" 391 00:19:14,964 --> 00:19:20,044 - What do we do? - Well...we just need to, um...find the trigger. 392 00:19:20,044 --> 00:19:22,524 - What trigger? - Fire words at her, see if one of them works. 393 00:19:22,524 --> 00:19:24,364 Meringue. Giblets. 394 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,924 Jeremy Hunt. 395 00:19:25,924 --> 00:19:29,124 Trouser. Radiator. Atlantic. 396 00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:30,404 Meerkat. 397 00:19:30,404 --> 00:19:31,764 Genital cuff. 398 00:19:32,924 --> 00:19:34,484 HORN TOOTS 399 00:19:35,964 --> 00:19:37,084 Sara! 400 00:19:38,364 --> 00:19:40,764 - Hi! - You OK? You've been in a fight? 401 00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:42,484 Oh, this? 402 00:19:42,484 --> 00:19:46,164 No, I, um... Just been throwing around a few paint swatches with some friends. 403 00:19:46,164 --> 00:19:49,404 You know interior design types - they can get very heated. 404 00:19:49,404 --> 00:19:53,404 I was dropping your invite round. Hey, I'm off shopping. Fancy joining? 405 00:19:53,404 --> 00:19:57,804 Yeah, I'd love to! That would, um... Yeah. 406 00:19:57,804 --> 00:19:59,084 Hop in! 407 00:20:06,484 --> 00:20:09,484 That was fun - I'd love to do it again sometime. 408 00:20:09,484 --> 00:20:11,324 Yeah, me too. 409 00:20:13,324 --> 00:20:15,324 I...got you something. 410 00:20:15,324 --> 00:20:18,884 Just to say thank you, you know, for everything. 411 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,644 Really, you shouldn't have! 412 00:20:23,684 --> 00:20:25,604 SARA ROARS 413 00:20:25,604 --> 00:20:27,284 Really! You shouldn't have. 414 00:20:27,284 --> 00:20:29,644 Wow! Team that with a pair of combats 415 00:20:29,644 --> 00:20:32,524 and a little bomber jacket and THAT... 416 00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:33,884 is...HOT. 417 00:20:40,084 --> 00:20:43,444 - Hi, I'm Julia. - Sorry! Julia, Eve. Eve, Julia. - Hi. 418 00:20:49,604 --> 00:20:52,484 So, how do you two know each other, then? 419 00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:55,364 Oh, we don't really, but... 420 00:20:55,364 --> 00:20:57,804 I'm hoping to be civilly partnered to her in the next fortnight 421 00:20:57,804 --> 00:21:00,324 and then we can start our care home for bullied cats. 422 00:21:00,324 --> 00:21:04,124 - She's joking. - I'm not remotely joking. - She's joking. 423 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,044 - That's lovely. - So how do you two know each other? 424 00:21:08,044 --> 00:21:11,044 Oh, we just met last week, didn't we, Sara? 425 00:21:11,044 --> 00:21:14,644 Yes, we did. She's asked me to study her dog. 426 00:21:14,644 --> 00:21:16,684 That's how it starts. 427 00:21:16,684 --> 00:21:19,124 Well, you look busy, so... 428 00:21:19,124 --> 00:21:20,804 I'll leave you to it. 429 00:21:23,084 --> 00:21:24,604 Bye! 430 00:21:24,604 --> 00:21:26,644 Oh, I'm so glad you like it! 431 00:21:26,644 --> 00:21:28,084 It's cos you love animals. 432 00:21:28,084 --> 00:21:30,124 Yes, sort of love/hate! 433 00:21:30,124 --> 00:21:32,244 Oh, it's just so YOU! 434 00:21:32,244 --> 00:21:34,604 THEY ROAR 435 00:21:38,524 --> 00:21:40,564 - Hi, sorry I'm late. - Hello, this is... 436 00:21:40,564 --> 00:21:41,964 Why are you dressed like a woman? 437 00:21:41,964 --> 00:21:43,244 Julia. 438 00:21:43,244 --> 00:21:44,484 Nice to meet you. 439 00:21:44,484 --> 00:21:46,404 Oh, my God, is that him? 440 00:21:46,404 --> 00:21:49,364 Is that Kip? Why isn't he wearing his uniform? 441 00:21:50,604 --> 00:21:52,084 Because he's not really a Marine. 442 00:21:52,084 --> 00:21:53,964 Because that was in a film. 443 00:21:53,964 --> 00:21:58,404 Remember how we had that conversation about films being different from real... No, you don't remember? 444 00:21:58,404 --> 00:22:02,164 Remember that time you went up to Daniel Radcliffe and asked him for a game of Quidditch? 445 00:22:02,164 --> 00:22:04,244 Bodyguards bundled us into the car... 446 00:22:04,244 --> 00:22:07,044 I don't know why you insist on calling him Daniel Radcliffe. 447 00:22:07,044 --> 00:22:08,444 His name's Harry. 448 00:22:09,484 --> 00:22:10,524 OK, nice! 449 00:22:10,524 --> 00:22:12,004 I'm going in! 450 00:22:13,364 --> 00:22:15,764 I should go and keep a close eye on her. 451 00:22:15,764 --> 00:22:18,164 - Her hands do tend to get a little bit wandery. - Hi. 452 00:22:18,164 --> 00:22:22,164 Sorry, I've spent the best part of the day to get that paint from under my fingernails. 453 00:22:22,164 --> 00:22:24,044 Why are you dressed like a prostitute? 454 00:22:24,044 --> 00:22:25,684 Excuse me! 455 00:22:25,684 --> 00:22:29,004 I have changed stylistic direction, courtesy of my new friend. 456 00:22:29,004 --> 00:22:33,444 - Please tell me you are not pointing to the girl with the pearl earrings. - Yep. 457 00:22:33,444 --> 00:22:36,484 That's her! That's the irritating cow I've been dealing with at work. 458 00:22:36,484 --> 00:22:38,404 How can you be friends with her?! She's evil. 459 00:22:38,404 --> 00:22:41,604 "I need a retro-fitted recess in mother-of-pearl for my nail varnish." 460 00:22:41,604 --> 00:22:43,204 Haven't you heard of minimalism?! 461 00:22:43,204 --> 00:22:45,484 - That doesn't sound like her at all. - Well, it is. 462 00:22:45,484 --> 00:22:47,164 She's making a break from her husband 463 00:22:47,164 --> 00:22:49,244 because he spends all his time with his sick mum 464 00:22:49,244 --> 00:22:52,004 and she wants to find someone young and rich who can spoil her. 465 00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:54,044 - You've SO got the wrong person. - I SO haven't. 466 00:22:54,044 --> 00:22:57,764 - You so have. - I so haven't. - Why don't you say hello to her? 467 00:22:57,764 --> 00:23:00,284 Hi! Just been talking about you. 468 00:23:00,284 --> 00:23:01,364 Hello! 469 00:23:02,684 --> 00:23:06,204 Yeah. So I get up, I eat a pack of eggs and maybe a protein shake, 470 00:23:06,204 --> 00:23:08,644 then I go and do bench press 471 00:23:08,644 --> 00:23:11,244 and maybe pound a bag for a couple of hours. 472 00:23:11,244 --> 00:23:12,964 Then I have a ham... 473 00:23:12,964 --> 00:23:16,204 - Wow! - If I'm training, I might have maybe two ham. 474 00:23:16,204 --> 00:23:18,604 Yeah. We have then a kilo of pasta, 475 00:23:18,604 --> 00:23:23,124 and then I'm down to the swimming pool doing laps to get the trapeziums nice and strong. 476 00:23:23,124 --> 00:23:25,444 Then it's in the weight room for the rest of the day. 477 00:23:27,044 --> 00:23:30,124 Let me tell you something. When you lift 120, 478 00:23:30,124 --> 00:23:32,164 130 pounds... 479 00:23:32,164 --> 00:23:34,564 to me, it is a truly spiritual experience. 480 00:23:34,564 --> 00:23:38,204 Wow! 120, 130 pounds? How much is that in animal? 481 00:23:38,204 --> 00:23:40,324 I don't understand. 482 00:23:40,324 --> 00:23:41,684 Is it an otter? 483 00:23:41,684 --> 00:23:42,964 I don't know what that is. 484 00:23:42,964 --> 00:23:44,404 A large badger? 485 00:23:44,404 --> 00:23:46,124 It's about like a kangaroo. 486 00:23:46,124 --> 00:23:49,004 - Really? Wow. - Yeah, about exactly a kangaroo. 487 00:23:49,004 --> 00:23:50,564 Do you think you could lift me? 488 00:23:50,564 --> 00:23:52,084 Oh, yeah, easy. 489 00:23:52,084 --> 00:23:53,444 Easy. No problem. 490 00:23:53,444 --> 00:23:55,364 SHE GIGGLES 491 00:23:55,364 --> 00:23:59,484 Yeah, I'd say you're slightly less than a kangaroo. 492 00:23:59,484 --> 00:24:01,244 - More like a snow leopard. - Really? 493 00:24:01,244 --> 00:24:03,764 - Hi. - Hi. This is Kip. He eats ham 494 00:24:03,764 --> 00:24:05,804 and he lifts kangaroos. 495 00:24:05,804 --> 00:24:07,884 - Nice to see you. - Ah, a working girl. 496 00:24:07,884 --> 00:24:10,084 We have a lot of you in Amsterdam, where I live. 497 00:24:10,084 --> 00:24:12,204 Yeah, it's legal there. It is better. 498 00:24:12,204 --> 00:24:13,844 Yeah, I'm actually not a... 499 00:24:13,844 --> 00:24:15,284 Can I get you a drink? 500 00:24:15,284 --> 00:24:16,764 I'm not drinking, actually. 501 00:24:16,764 --> 00:24:20,004 OK. Oh, listen, I need a vodka milkshake. 502 00:24:20,004 --> 00:24:21,164 And do you serve bacon? 503 00:24:21,164 --> 00:24:22,404 OK. 504 00:24:22,404 --> 00:24:24,084 So why aren't you drinking? 505 00:24:24,084 --> 00:24:26,284 I'm in solidarity with Julia. She's... 506 00:24:26,284 --> 00:24:28,204 HE LAUGHS 507 00:24:28,204 --> 00:24:30,404 But Julia drinks like a fish! 508 00:24:30,404 --> 00:24:32,604 No, she doesn't, because she's in recovery. 509 00:24:32,604 --> 00:24:35,004 Oh, yeah. No, recovery, certainly. 510 00:24:35,004 --> 00:24:37,924 For shoplifting. Yeah, it's an addiction. 511 00:24:37,924 --> 00:24:41,884 She can't go into a shop and not take something home with her. 512 00:24:41,884 --> 00:24:42,924 Pretty sad. 513 00:24:48,604 --> 00:24:51,004 - JULIA: - Oh, God, I need another drink! 514 00:24:52,564 --> 00:24:57,084 Even I couldn't talk to her without laughing - it's like looking at one of The Proclaimers in drag. 515 00:24:58,524 --> 00:25:02,244 One more day of playing best mates and then I can get shot of her. 516 00:25:02,244 --> 00:25:05,724 You've only had to hang with her for a few days. I had six weeks. 517 00:25:05,724 --> 00:25:07,524 Six weeks! 518 00:25:07,524 --> 00:25:10,484 I don't know why you want that stinking dog anyway. 519 00:25:10,484 --> 00:25:14,724 He's only going to moult all over your new flat. That's why I got a lizard. 520 00:25:14,724 --> 00:25:18,884 I don't want him. I just don't want John to have him. 521 00:25:18,884 --> 00:25:21,324 Poor, little sad John. 522 00:25:22,924 --> 00:25:27,044 - Thanks for the dress. Where did you get it? - Oh, I just picked it up. 523 00:25:27,044 --> 00:25:28,164 I love it. 524 00:25:28,164 --> 00:25:31,084 Right! Back to it, girls. 525 00:25:32,324 --> 00:25:35,004 - What's up? You OK? - Yeah. 526 00:25:35,004 --> 00:25:36,404 I'm just an idiot, that's all. 527 00:25:36,404 --> 00:25:38,684 I'm just a total and utter idiot. 528 00:25:40,524 --> 00:25:42,124 I didn't see the signs. 529 00:25:42,124 --> 00:25:45,364 When I went to the house, I noticed Julia had brown dust in the palm of her hand, 530 00:25:45,364 --> 00:25:46,964 consistent with dry dog food residue. 531 00:25:46,964 --> 00:25:49,324 Which was also on the outside of her left jacket pocket, 532 00:25:49,324 --> 00:25:51,644 which means that's where the dog treats were kept 533 00:25:51,644 --> 00:25:54,004 and why Rufus was sitting so obediently next to her. 534 00:25:54,004 --> 00:25:57,564 As I left the house, I noticed that John had a bulging pocket to his right 535 00:25:57,564 --> 00:25:58,884 and damp was coming through, 536 00:25:58,884 --> 00:26:02,404 as if something recently wet had been put inside, like a used handkerchief. 537 00:26:02,404 --> 00:26:05,844 He was turning his face away NOT because he was trying to hide an infidelity, 538 00:26:05,844 --> 00:26:09,804 but because he was embarrassed by his tears. 539 00:26:09,804 --> 00:26:12,324 He was talking loudly on the phone, we means he either a bad line 540 00:26:12,324 --> 00:26:14,204 or was talking to an elderly relative. 541 00:26:14,204 --> 00:26:16,124 The fact that the phone was brand new 542 00:26:16,124 --> 00:26:18,724 and top end leads me to believe it was the latter. 543 00:26:18,724 --> 00:26:22,404 The senior in question? Most probably his mother, seeing as he was gentle 544 00:26:22,404 --> 00:26:24,604 and moderated his vocabulary on the phone. 545 00:26:24,604 --> 00:26:26,924 The trouser fibres just above his knee were flattened 546 00:26:26,924 --> 00:26:28,964 in a straight line, indicating a pressure point 547 00:26:28,964 --> 00:26:31,644 consistent with that of a wheelchair, serial number 4567290. 548 00:26:31,644 --> 00:26:33,884 The type favoured by Virgoan male with Aries rising. 549 00:26:33,884 --> 00:26:35,964 Down a little and just left to his calf, 550 00:26:35,964 --> 00:26:38,684 the presence of three different types of dog hair, 551 00:26:38,684 --> 00:26:40,964 tricoloured, and a slight tang of ear mite, 552 00:26:40,964 --> 00:26:43,084 indicating a long ear canal consistent with a Bassett Hound... 553 00:26:43,084 --> 00:26:44,124 Rufus. 554 00:26:44,124 --> 00:26:48,044 Which means, of course, that HE is he is the primary carer and NOT Julia. 555 00:26:49,364 --> 00:26:51,284 No shit, Sherlock. 556 00:26:51,284 --> 00:26:54,604 Do you know I have no idea what you're talking about, 557 00:26:54,604 --> 00:26:56,524 but damn, you are good. 558 00:26:58,324 --> 00:26:59,724 I really don't know what to do. 559 00:27:01,044 --> 00:27:04,764 You know what you've got to do. The most awful thing imaginable. 560 00:27:04,764 --> 00:27:07,884 - Kill her? - No, no, no. You're going to do the right thing. 561 00:27:07,884 --> 00:27:09,964 Tell the court the truth. 562 00:27:11,364 --> 00:27:16,324 - Is this your friend? - Yeah. - Yeah. She was fun, but now she's gone weird. 563 00:27:16,324 --> 00:27:19,364 Listen, I'd love to stay, but I'm hypoglycaemic. 564 00:27:19,364 --> 00:27:23,204 So I need to eat a turkey and punch somebody or I'm going to explode. 565 00:27:23,204 --> 00:27:24,444 - Wow. - OK? 566 00:27:24,444 --> 00:27:26,564 "The Birdie Song" PLAYS 567 00:27:28,284 --> 00:27:29,564 Oh, God, here we go. 568 00:27:29,564 --> 00:27:31,204 - Peter Purvis. - Trousers. 569 00:27:31,204 --> 00:27:33,884 - Sausages. - Snap out of it. 570 00:27:33,884 --> 00:27:35,684 - Toast. - Hedgerows. 571 00:27:35,684 --> 00:27:37,804 - Tired now! - Snake's eyes. 572 00:27:37,804 --> 00:27:39,564 - What's wrong with you? - Shopping centre. 573 00:27:39,564 --> 00:27:42,044 - Psychiatry. - Thurrock. - They have injections. 574 00:27:42,044 --> 00:27:44,604 - M25. - Big fat bum. 575 00:27:44,604 --> 00:27:46,564 - House boat. - Pork chops. 576 00:27:46,564 --> 00:27:47,884 Aeroplane. 577 00:27:47,884 --> 00:27:49,324 She's out! 578 00:27:49,324 --> 00:27:50,644 She's out! 579 00:27:56,284 --> 00:27:58,364 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 580 00:27:58,414 --> 00:28:02,964 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 43809

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