Original subtitles

So, I got some great news from Lafrey this morning. Any guesses?

I'll give you a hint.

Take my wife, please.

- What are you doing? - Be... What?

This is why you're not allowed to take weapons in the field.

Anyway, I'm gonna get to see my wife soon.

She's being transferred to a nearby mental facility.

- How do you think that's gonna go? - What do you mean?

Great. It's gonna be... intense, but it-it'll be, it'll be...

it'll be great. What about you, though? I just realized,

you know, I'm always talking about my love life,

but I've never once had the chance to ask you about yours.

Do you have a girlfriend? Have you ever been married?

Have you ever been in love?

Just so you know, this isn't gonna stop, Leroy.

My last girlfriend, Tanya, and I were together for a while.

We broke up a few years ago and I haven't dated much since.

- Have you tried getting back together? - What? No.

Anyways, all she ever wanted to do was karaoke. Like, every weekend.

And she always sang the same song, "Walking in Memphis."

This song?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I-I totally remember this. Uh...

You all right?

Leroy?

Hello? Leroy!

- Dude, what is wrong with you? - What?

- Snap out of it, man. - Turn that song off.

You're like in a trance or something.

Anyway, she just got engaged; it's on her Facebook.

- Oh, man. I'm sorry. - Dude, I could care less.

Oh, man. Gross. Beginner's luck.

So sorry.

- sync and corrections by Mr. C - - www.addic7ed.com -

Listen up.

A man's body was just found at a resort in Tampa called Whispers.

Ooh, Whispers. I wonder what they're whispering about.

I bet it's like, "Want to see my butt?"

- Deesh. - His autopsy revealed

something strange.

His heart was missing, but there was no incision.

Do you have any suspects?

Yes. Keith Jorgensen, the photographer at the resort.

Now, there was a similar murder six years ago at a resort in Hawaii.

Keith Jorgensen was also living there at the time,

but he was working as a surgeon.

Who would leave Hawaii to go to Florida?

Florida's for people who don't know about Hawaii.

I don't know. It sounds like a guy who wanted to follow his passion.

Someone who's sick and tired of being told what he should do with his life.

Somebody who stood up and said... "I-I love me."

- Or a skilled organ thief. - I'm switching my guess to Leroy's.

Well, hold on now. Th-there was no incision.

So I think we have to at least be open to the possibility

that this could be something bigger.

Which is exactly why it's your job to figure it out.

- Let's get to work. - Oh, Trip Advisor says that

the guacamole making class at Whispers is a "must do."

- Leroy, write that down. - No. We won't be doing that.

Hey, Leroy, it's me. Just kidding, man, it's me.

- What's that? - Uh, this?

It's just an old bachelor party tradition.

- Bachelor party? - That's right.

Listen. Our cover story is my bachelor party.

You know bachelor parties are usually, like, 12 dudes.

Not true. See, my actual bachelor party was just me and my friend Rory.

I mean, he did end up having to cancel at the last minute,

and I went by myself, but it's nothing.

- You had a solo bachelor party? - Hey, Leroy. You know what?

Since my lady is coming back, we should find someone for you.

- No, I'm good. - I'm serious, man. Come on.

- Hey, what about her? - The lady with her husband and toddler?

- Yeah. - No.

All right. Just getting used to your taste, dude.

Hey. Look at her. She's a cop.

She's probably here on the same case. She like, "Hey, I like to solve crimes."

And you can be like, "Yeah. I like to solve crimes, too."

And then you, like, lick each other's faces.

I'd rather just focus on the case.

- Welcome to Whispers. Checking in? - Yes. Uh, reservation under "Bachelor."

We're the bachelor party. That's not only my name, Mitch Bachelor,

but we're also here for my bachelor party.

- Sounds fun. - No, it doesn't.

Oh. Also, we, uh, booked a photo session. I think with Keith?

And, uh, how many guys should I say are coming? 12? 14?

No, just us.

- Is there a problem? - No.

I've been using this new, uh, coconut oil,

and my hands feel like an ancient river pebble.

- Here, have a touch. - Ew. No.

It hasn't even absorbed yet. You're dripping.

I have an assignment for you two. I need surveillance

on a very important target, and I need it to be kept discreet.

Isn't this your daughter?

Shannon turned 13 and suddenly thinks that she can outsmart her mother.

Well, I am going to show her that she is sorely mistaken.

Yeah, because you can't outsmart mothers. Mothers are the smartest.

Last night, without warning, I was blocked from all social media.

Her last post was "#DougO'clock." I need to know what that means.

Who is Doug? What the hell is Doug O'clock?

And what exactly happens at that time?

Good luck.

Can't believe you bought me a linen outfit.

- I don't like when my clothes billow. - Yeah, but it looks great.

- I might as well be wearing the wind. - Hey, guys.

I'm Keith. And you are the Bachelor bachelor party?

That's right. I'm Mitch Bachelor and this...

is Tito.

Hey. I'm Tito.

So I don't know if they told you, but I shoot everything on film.

I'm a bit of a formalist, so none of this digital crap.

So what are we thinking here?

Oh, uh, I don't know. I guess I was just thinking

some regular old friends hanging out

- at bachelor party poses. - Right.

Right. And is the rest of the group coming, or...?

No. No, it's just us. Me and Teets.

Huh. Well, this is gonna be gorgeous. Let's, uh, let's get into it.

- Yeah, let's get loose. - Loosey-goosey.

Holding a cold one. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. There we go.

Hold a cold one. Yeah.

How about some surfing? Ooh, I got a couple of goofballs

- on my hands. - Max, I'm gonna kill you.

- No, there goes a shark. - Uh-oh.

Careful. You need a bigger surfboard.

Oh, no.

Oh, are you guys feeling like rock and rollers?

- Yeah. Coldplay in the house. - Yeah.

Hey, Keith. Uh, you always been a photographer, or...?

Uh, no. Actually, you know, I used to do something else.

Back in Hawaii I was just a surgeon.

Wonder who would give up being a doctor

to be a resort photographer? Just curious.

Well, I would, when I realized that photography was my passion.

Now, uh... Ooh, that's great. How about this?

Jump up in the air and high-five each other.

There we go. Uh-oh.

- So Tampa's a big change from Hawaii. - Yeah.

You running from somebody?

Uh...

Think I got everything I need. Thanks, guys.

Hey, Keith. Where were you last Wednesday night?

I was in a session. You can pick up your photos tomorrow at the concierge.

Hey, wait a sec.

Whoa. I had a bunch more poses I wanted to try, too.

Once your avocado is nice and smooth, it's time to season the guac,

and this is where you can have a little fun personalizing it.

I checked the surveillance tape. Keith lied to us.

- There was no photo shoot on Wednesday. - Okay, just keep your voice down.

- We can't talk about that here. - I agree,

but since you made us come here, I'm gonna talk about it.

I didn't make us. I mean, we had to. It's part of the package.

Believe me, I didn't want to be here, either.

- You going hot-medium or medium-mild? - Like normal.

'Cause I was thinking about going hot-medium,

but if that's out of your range, I am happy to go medium-mild.

Just do me a favor and don't go hot-hot, 'cause then,

I can't even try it.

What was that?

Don't disappear in case we need you.

- Whoa. It's a body. - Hey.

There's your cop. Let's go talk to her.

Wait. Max!

Hey, uh, so, what's the story with the vic?

Back up. This is an active crime scene. Behind the yellow tape, please. Thanks.

It's actually okay. My friend here's a cop.

LAPD. And I'm a courtroom sketch artist,

so I know a lot about murders and stuff, so it's no biggie.

Well, I got to get back to the crime scene,

but if I, uh... if I need a caricature of myself

in a mermaid costume, I'll... I'll come find you guys.

Whatever.

- Oh, my God, Leroy, look. - Damn, that's Keith.

How are we gonna get our photos?

Okay, so, Keith wasn't our guy,

but, obviously, he knows something about the murders.

Enough to get him killed. We need to find out what he knew.

Yeah, but first, uh, why don't we take a chardonnay break?

Huh? You deserve it.

Uh, Officer? Or Natalie, is it? Boy, crazy murder today, huh?

I told you, I-I can't talk about an investigation with a civilian.

Okay, well, then, why don't the three of us just grab a drink,

and we'll talk about your boyfriend, or-or husband?

- Sorry. Which is it? - Not super subtle, is he?

Honestly, I just met him at the airport, and now he follows me around.

All right. One drink.

Great! Yeah.

We'd love to join you.

Except for me. I'm very sick.

Sorry about that.

So do you always need someone else to do the talking for you?

No, no. No, no, no, no.

Believe me, I can be incredibly charming if I so choose.

- You're lucky I let you sit down. - No. Oh, I know.

_

Oh, these are nice.

I mean, what is the purpose of this?

Like, why would he want this?

I don't know. It's kind of fun. I'm with him.

- What? - Yeah. Why not?

- Oh, you sellin' me out already? - You should get one.

Ugh. I don't think so.

Uh, Bali.

Hawaii. Tampa.

Hey, what happened out there with that body anyway?

I heard they found a guy here last week

- with his heart missing. - Yeah. Ugh.

Same thing. Heart gone, no scar.

It's the Sumerian symbol for smoke.

It is often used in stories of a demon who takes different forms.

Do you have a balcony in your room? Maybe we just have another drink?

- Stare out at the ocean? - Personally, I find the ocean disgusting.

She seduces men by putting them in

a hypnotic trance state, and then absorbing their life force.

Like stealing their hearts?

No. Maybe.

I will have another drink, though.

- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.

Leroy!

My friend... My... my friend that was there... do-do you know where he is is?

- Oh, he just left. He was with a woman. - Yeah. Where did they go?

I don't know, but when they left, they were tipsy.

Do you still want the waiters to sing

"Happy Bachelor Party" when they bring the churros out?

That is so not important right now!

But, yes, we will be back for the churros later,

and we definitely want that song, okay?

- Yes. - Thank you so much!

I mean, we are some of the most highly-trained agents

at the Bureau, and we are

- baby-sitting two teenagers on a date. - Oh, come on.

What's more important than the mission of a mother's love?

I know my four mothers would have done anything for me.

- You have four mothers? - Yeah. Mom, Mum, Mommy and Lynn.

It's a long story. It involves a few remarriages

and a whole bunch of lesbians.

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's happening?

- Oh, uh, which one is Shannon? - I don't know. I didn't see them enter.

- I was arguing with you! - Well, what's happening?

- Which one do I follow? Where is she? - All right, what is the latest?

Everything's great. What's new with you? What's your weekend look like?

Where is she?

Where is she?

Uh...

Hold up one second.

Leroy? Leroy, I need to talk to you!

Sock on the door, Max.

- Sock on the door! - Come on!

Uh, room service!

- We didn't order it. - Hi!

Hi, folks. I'm not crazy. There's a succubus next door.

Oh, and you really should try the guacamole class. It's terrific.

Oh, my God! Leroy!

Leroy, listen to me.

She is a succubus.

Okay? She's going to draw you in, she's going to seduce you,

and she's going to take your heart out of your body.

Max, what are you doing? Didn't you see the sock?!

No. Leroy, you need to listen to me. She is going to kill you.

Are you listening to yourself? You sound ridiculous.

All of the killers are the same woman. She changes shape,

but the tattoo stays the same. Let me see your tattoos.

- What? These? - Yes. Those.

- Ugh. - Check these out. Leroy, look.

- Max, would you get off of her. - Where did you get these?

- Get away from her! - Where did you get these?

I got them when I was on spring break 15 years ago.

- You're a liar. She is lying right now. - I'm not.

- Max, that's enough. - So many girls had these tattoos.

I saw them on Blake Lively's blog.

I think they're Chinese... I don't even know what they mean.

No, no, no. They're Sumerian for "smoke." I saw it.

Down in Keith's room, he has a whole roomful of evidence.

Keith Jorgensen was a recovering drug addict.

Why do you think he had to stop being a surgeon?

Because photography was his passion?

Listen, I... I think I should go.

- This is... this is... - No. No, no, no.

You should stay. Max...

- you were just leaving, right? - Yeah.

I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry, you guys. - What is wrong with you?

Hold on. You know... it just occurred to me...

Blake Lively's blog, I mean, didn't start till 2014.

Why would you know that?

You just couldn't leave.

Leroy, look. Leroy, look! Look! Look! Leroy!

Kill Max.

Leroy? Leroy!

Kill him now.

I should kill Max.

Wait. What are you... what are you doing?

Leroy, she... she's got you... under a spell.

Leroy...

Uh... Leroy... you have to wake up.

? Put on my blue suede shoes, and I ?

? Boarded a plane ?

? Touched down In the land of the Delta Blues ?

? In the middle of the pouring rain... ?

? W.C. Handy ?

? Won't you look down over me ?

- That's right. - ? Yeah, I got ?

- ? a first class ticket ? - Yeah, yeah.

? But I'm as blue as a boy can be ?

? Then I'm walking in Memphis ?

? Walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale ?

? Walking in Memphis ?

? But do I really feel the way I feel... ?

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa!

Aah!

Where the hell did she go?

We're so, so sorry. We did not mean to lose your daughter.

And it's so unlikely she'd be dead by now.

I don't want to hear it. I just wa...

Hello, Mother.

Did you and your flunkies have a fun time stalking me today?

I had no idea what we were dealing with.

Do you really have no respect for me?

- Well... - Listen, Shannon.

When I was in the ninth grade, I ran away to Nicaragua for five days,

and my mom didn't even notice, 'cause she was busy throwing herself

a week-long birthday party.

She called it Bitsy's Bash. and the theme... was cocaine.

Look, I am sorry that we were spying on you today.

But you need to realize how lucky you are.

Your mom only did this because she loves you.

I just wanted to know who Doug O'Clock was.

I mean, is that your boyfriend, or...?

What? No. We call him Doug O'Clock

because he wears an actual wristwatch like a throwback old person.

Oh. Old people are so lame.

Look, I... I'm sorry, sweetie,

I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to trust you more.

Please don't shut me out.

Well, I guess I can let you in on some stuff.

- But just boys and school. - Okay.

Not horrible stuff Dad says about you.

Okay.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I think you might have kicked the lady off the balcony.

It was a succubus, not a lady. It wasn't a lady.

Um... just got a call from St. Mary's.

What's that?

It's your wife. You can see her now.

Leroy, listen, I haven't exactly been honest with you

about, uh, my wife and stuff.

Things weren't exactly... great between us when she disappeared.

So... I don't really know what I'm walking into here.

And then I just... I-I had to tell you that for some reason.

Actually, I... wasn't completely honest with you, either.

- About Tanya. - Huh?

Truth is, I loved her.

So I proposed. But she said no.

Oh, dude. It gets worse.

I did it at Dodger Stadium.

- On the jumbotron. - Oh, wow.

And the jumbotron guy... he wouldn't cut away, he just...

just hung there on me, just... sobbing.

Oh, geez.

Ended up going viral, they put techno music under it.

Of course they did.

- I think I remember that one. - Yeah. But I don't regret it.

Being in love with her. I don't regret asking her to marry me.

I do regret hiding the ring in the chili dog.

Of course.

Max Jennifer? She's ready.

Hi, uh, Claire.

Hi. Hey.

Oh, my God.

I feel like I've...

- I have, uh, so much... - Yeah.

- Yeah. This is weird. - I wanna s... Yeah.

It'd be nice... if we had, like, some privacy, maybe.

- Yeah. - Do you think?

Yeah, hey, uh... sorry, do you... would you mind, uh,

giving us a couple of minutes?

I'll be right outside.

Seems like a barrel of laughs.

Yeah. He's the nicer one.

Listen, I-I don't want to rush you or anything, but...

I have to know... what happened that night?

Because, for me, it was just, like, this flash of light,

and-and then I woke up hours later.

- I have to know. - Mm.

Were you... abducted?

Do not look for me.

What?