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1
00:00:07,101 --> 00:00:09,267
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:11,935 --> 00:00:14,518
Let me ask you something.
You happy with your color?
3
00:00:14,601 --> 00:00:17,017
Fuckin' love my color.
Fuckin' mahogany.
4
00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,685
-Yeah. You're mahogany.
-Yeah.
5
00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:19,810
Hell, yeah.
6
00:00:19,893 --> 00:00:21,726
-You happy
with your color?
-No.
7
00:00:21,810 --> 00:00:24,267
-Huh? No?
-Ah, well, what is it?
What is it?
8
00:00:24,351 --> 00:00:26,226
You're like
a... a porridge,
9
00:00:26,309 --> 00:00:28,851
a cream of wheat,
a farina, that kind of shit.
10
00:00:28,935 --> 00:00:30,851
-That's what white
people's skin tone is.
-Right.
11
00:00:30,935 --> 00:00:33,017
-It's just different
kinds of hot cereal.
-Right, right.
12
00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,309
Black people,
your skin tone's like,
13
00:00:35,393 --> 00:00:37,434
it depends on
the amount of milk
you put in the coffee.
14
00:00:37,518 --> 00:00:39,601
Fuckin' right.
I'm like
a fuckin' Yoo-hoo.
15
00:00:39,685 --> 00:00:42,476
-I shake that motherfucker up.
I'm shakin' it up.
-Yoo-hoo's a good color.
16
00:00:42,559 --> 00:00:44,518
-Fuckin' good color. Shit.
-Yeah, Yoo-hoo's
a really good color.
17
00:00:44,601 --> 00:00:46,559
-Yeah.
-(laughing)
18
00:00:46,643 --> 00:00:47,893
-(clanks)
-What?
19
00:00:47,976 --> 00:00:49,393
There you go.
20
00:00:49,476 --> 00:00:50,726
-(clatters)
-Somewhere between--
21
00:00:50,810 --> 00:00:52,309
-Wait, excuse me?
-What the-- what the fuck?
22
00:00:52,393 --> 00:00:54,267
♪
23
00:00:56,851 --> 00:00:58,810
Hey. Larry.
24
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,935
-Randi. Yeah.
-You got it.
25
00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:03,976
-I'm a friend of Susie's.
-I know, I know, I know.
Yeah.
26
00:01:04,059 --> 00:01:05,267
Happy New Year.
27
00:01:05,351 --> 00:01:06,351
Eh.
28
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:07,726
It's a little late, frankly,
29
00:01:07,810 --> 00:01:09,226
for the "Happy New Years,"
you know?
30
00:01:09,309 --> 00:01:11,518
Why? It just happened
a couple of weeks ago, right?
31
00:01:11,601 --> 00:01:12,434
Yeah, that's too long.
32
00:01:12,518 --> 00:01:14,226
The statute of limitations
33
00:01:14,309 --> 00:01:16,101
has kind of run out
on the "New Years."
34
00:01:16,184 --> 00:01:18,559
-Three days. Plenty.
-Three days?
35
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:20,893
By the way,
everything doesn't
have to be happy.
36
00:01:20,976 --> 00:01:22,559
Why does everything
have to be happy?
37
00:01:22,643 --> 00:01:25,351
-I'm having a pretty good day.
-Yeah. Look at you.
38
00:01:25,434 --> 00:01:27,434
-That's, that's huge.
-Yeah, I'm about eight months.
39
00:01:27,518 --> 00:01:30,685
If you need some name tips,
I'm your guy.
40
00:01:30,768 --> 00:01:32,476
-Yeah.
-What would you suggest?
41
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:34,643
Maybe something, uh,
Swedish, perhaps?
42
00:01:34,726 --> 00:01:36,810
Yeah, I'm... my husband
is African-American,
43
00:01:36,893 --> 00:01:39,518
so I'm not sure that would,
I don't know, gel.
44
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:42,017
You like saying that,
don't you.
45
00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:44,935
-Do I like saying that
he's African-American?
-Yeah.
46
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,518
I think you wanted me to know.
47
00:01:46,601 --> 00:01:48,267
Does it change your
opinion of me?
48
00:01:48,351 --> 00:01:51,101
In some ways, yes.
In some ways, no.
49
00:01:51,184 --> 00:01:52,476
-Okay.
-All right.
50
00:01:52,559 --> 00:01:54,726
Enjoy your workout.
51
00:01:56,142 --> 00:01:57,851
(beeping)
52
00:01:59,476 --> 00:02:02,643
(beeping continues)
53
00:02:07,559 --> 00:02:09,351
What are you doing?
54
00:02:10,351 --> 00:02:11,476
What?
55
00:02:11,559 --> 00:02:13,768
What's with the--
What's with the jogging?
56
00:02:13,851 --> 00:02:16,184
I'm... I'm working out.
57
00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:18,226
-Working out?
-Yeah.
58
00:02:18,476 --> 00:02:20,935
You, you're jostling
the fetus.
59
00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:23,810
You can't--
You can't run
in your condition.
60
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:25,685
Uh, yes, I can.
61
00:02:25,768 --> 00:02:27,017
I was advised by my midwife
62
00:02:27,101 --> 00:02:28,643
that I should continue
to work out.
63
00:02:28,726 --> 00:02:30,476
Maybe you want to
consult your blacksmith.
64
00:02:30,559 --> 00:02:32,017
See what he has
to say about it.
65
00:02:32,101 --> 00:02:35,434
Oh, I don't, uh, want
to get into it with you,
but, um...
66
00:02:35,518 --> 00:02:37,976
my fetus, my problem, okay?
67
00:02:38,059 --> 00:02:41,101
-I pity that fetus.
-(machine beeping)
68
00:02:41,184 --> 00:02:43,267
Larry:
Oh, my God.
I can't watch this.
69
00:02:45,059 --> 00:02:48,226
-Happy New Year.
-Yeah, Happy New Year.
70
00:02:52,685 --> 00:02:54,726
(slapping)
71
00:02:59,601 --> 00:03:02,559
-(slapping)
-Hey, hey, hey. Come on.
Come on, man.
72
00:03:02,851 --> 00:03:05,810
-You gotta stay dry.
-You're over-talcing here.
73
00:03:05,893 --> 00:03:07,643
-Ugh!
-Happy New Year.
74
00:03:07,726 --> 00:03:08,851
Yeah, yeah.
75
00:03:08,935 --> 00:03:10,726
-I couldn't even
breathe in there.
-Right.
76
00:03:10,810 --> 00:03:13,726
He was putting talc
under his arm,
77
00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:16,518
-on his balls...
It was disgusting.
-(laughing)
78
00:03:16,601 --> 00:03:19,476
-I mean, who still uses that?
-I use that shit all the time.
79
00:03:19,559 --> 00:03:23,184
-Can't be good for you.
-Not if you're allergic to it.
80
00:03:23,267 --> 00:03:24,935
My Auntie Rey
put some of that shit on her,
81
00:03:25,017 --> 00:03:26,518
and went into
anaphylactic shock.
82
00:03:26,601 --> 00:03:28,935
-Really?
-Yeah. Started shakin' and shit.
Took her to the ER.
83
00:03:29,017 --> 00:03:31,851
-Man, they had to pump
her stomach for nothing.
-That's incredible.
84
00:03:31,935 --> 00:03:33,309
Yeah, man.
85
00:03:33,393 --> 00:03:35,810
-Look at this guy
in the MAGA hat.
-Boy. You don't see...
86
00:03:35,893 --> 00:03:39,059
-You don't see many of those
in LA, do you?
-You fuckin' don't.
87
00:03:39,142 --> 00:03:42,226
Know what I noticed?
No one ever wears
those hats on backwards.
88
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,643
If mean, if you're gonna
get your ass kicked,
you want to see it coming.
89
00:03:44,726 --> 00:03:46,142
-(chuckles)
-I like that.
90
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:49,142
-Yeah.
-Mocha-- Mocha Joe's
91
00:03:49,226 --> 00:03:50,810
Mocha Joe.
I know a Mocha Joe.
92
00:03:50,893 --> 00:03:52,768
-You want some coffee?
-Sure. Okay.
93
00:03:52,851 --> 00:03:54,434
-Let's go in here.
-Get a little latte.
94
00:03:54,518 --> 00:03:56,309
-Thank you so much.
I appreciate it.
-Thank you.
95
00:03:56,393 --> 00:03:57,559
Have a great day.
96
00:03:57,643 --> 00:04:00,893
-Whoa! Blast from the past.
-Oh, boy, oh, boy.
97
00:04:00,976 --> 00:04:02,643
-Larry David. Wow.
-Mocha Joe!
98
00:04:02,726 --> 00:04:05,017
-Long time, no see, man.
What are you doin' here?
-Hey!
99
00:04:05,101 --> 00:04:06,309
-What's your name?
-Leon.
100
00:04:06,393 --> 00:04:08,226
-Leon. Nice to meet you.
-This is unreal.
101
00:04:08,309 --> 00:04:10,101
Do you believe it? Huh?
What can I get you guys?
102
00:04:10,184 --> 00:04:11,685
I'll get a--
Do you have scones?
103
00:04:11,768 --> 00:04:13,142
Yeah. Right there.
They're beautiful.
104
00:04:13,226 --> 00:04:15,059
Great. I'll have a scone,
and a, uh, cup of coffee.
105
00:04:15,142 --> 00:04:17,685
-Cup of coffee and a scone.
What about you, Leon?
-Let me get a latte.
106
00:04:17,768 --> 00:04:19,976
All right. One scone,
a coffee, a latte.
107
00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:21,559
That's $11.50.
108
00:04:22,017 --> 00:04:23,559
There you go.
Keep the change.
109
00:04:23,643 --> 00:04:25,184
Oh, thanks for the tip.
Appreciate it.
110
00:04:26,393 --> 00:04:29,142
Mocha Joe: A latte
and a coffee, please.
Thank you.
111
00:04:29,226 --> 00:04:30,393
Mm.
112
00:04:31,142 --> 00:04:32,559
It's a little soft.
113
00:04:32,893 --> 00:04:34,476
What, the scone?
114
00:04:34,559 --> 00:04:37,643
Yeah. Scones are
supposed to be hard.
This is like a muffin.
115
00:04:37,726 --> 00:04:41,351
Well, not really.
It's supposed to be fresh.
116
00:04:41,434 --> 00:04:42,893
Yeah, fresh hard.
117
00:04:42,976 --> 00:04:44,768
Well, that's a fresh scone.
118
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:47,393
I'm not quite sure
you know what a scone is,
Mocha Joe.
119
00:04:47,476 --> 00:04:49,267
-Oh, I know what a scone is.
-Larry: Do you?
120
00:04:49,351 --> 00:04:52,226
-Yeah.
-You may have a looser
definition of scone than I do.
121
00:04:52,309 --> 00:04:55,267
I don't think it's really
open to interpretation,
though.
122
00:04:55,351 --> 00:04:58,017
You want the scone, or not?
123
00:04:58,101 --> 00:04:59,893
Yeah, I'll keep
the scone-slash-muffin.
124
00:04:59,976 --> 00:05:03,017
-So you're gonna
keep the scone?
-Yeah. Muffin. Yeah.
125
00:05:03,101 --> 00:05:04,476
Enjoy the scone, Larry.
126
00:05:04,559 --> 00:05:07,351
-Hey, you got any Danishes?
-Uh, no.
127
00:05:07,935 --> 00:05:09,768
You're fuckin' up.
128
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,851
Mocha Joe:
(sighs) Next.
129
00:05:12,518 --> 00:05:13,976
(sighs)
130
00:05:14,059 --> 00:05:16,267
-Oh, my God.
-(table squeaking)
131
00:05:16,351 --> 00:05:19,059
-Look at this table.
Do you believe it?
-Wow.
132
00:05:19,142 --> 00:05:22,059
-Wow.
-Hey, uh, hey, Mocha Joe.
133
00:05:22,142 --> 00:05:23,476
Mocha Joe:
Yeah?
134
00:05:23,559 --> 00:05:26,142
-Check out this table.
-Yeah?
135
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:28,476
(chuckles) It's a wobb--
You got a wobbly table, here.
136
00:05:28,559 --> 00:05:29,893
Yeah, well,
stop moving it.
137
00:05:29,976 --> 00:05:33,017
Stop moving it? It's--
Every time I, I, I lean on it,
138
00:05:33,101 --> 00:05:34,810
-it's gonna move.
-Put your foot on it,
like everybody else does.
139
00:05:34,893 --> 00:05:36,726
I'm gonna sit with
my foot on the table?
140
00:05:36,810 --> 00:05:38,726
Yeah, that's how
you hold it down.
The floors are wobbly.
141
00:05:38,810 --> 00:05:41,434
-Mocha Joe, can I give
you a little advice?
-Yeah.
142
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:43,643
Nobody likes a wobbly table.
143
00:05:43,726 --> 00:05:46,476
Fastest way to lose customers
is wobbly tables.
144
00:05:46,559 --> 00:05:48,351
I got an uncle
with a wobbly leg.
145
00:05:48,434 --> 00:05:50,309
I can't stand that motherfucker.
146
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:52,309
Leaning on shit all the time.
147
00:05:53,101 --> 00:05:55,184
-Hmm.
-Barista:
Two medium cappuccinos.
148
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,685
(gulps) Aah.
(scoffs)
149
00:05:58,059 --> 00:06:00,309
Larry:
Taste your coffee.
150
00:06:00,768 --> 00:06:02,059
-Cold.
-It's cold.
151
00:06:02,142 --> 00:06:03,101
Hey, man.
152
00:06:03,184 --> 00:06:04,518
-Yeah.
-Larry: Hey, Mocha Joe.
153
00:06:04,601 --> 00:06:06,601
-What?
-(laughs softly)
154
00:06:07,393 --> 00:06:08,851
This is cold coffee.
155
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,559
Whoa, whoa.
Wait a second.
156
00:06:10,643 --> 00:06:12,685
That coffee is not cold.
157
00:06:12,768 --> 00:06:14,351
-Is your coffee cold?
-Your coffee's hot, right?
158
00:06:14,434 --> 00:06:16,184
Look, we don't wanna be
fuckin' haters right now,
159
00:06:16,267 --> 00:06:17,476
but this shit is cold.
160
00:06:17,559 --> 00:06:19,184
Can, can I get a n--
161
00:06:19,267 --> 00:06:21,017
-Can I get a new cup?
-No.
162
00:06:21,101 --> 00:06:22,309
-So you're not gonna
give me a new cup.
-No.
163
00:06:22,393 --> 00:06:24,017
'Cause that's a hot cup
of coffee.
164
00:06:24,101 --> 00:06:25,893
-It was hot when
I gave it to you--
-That's a hot cup of coffee?
165
00:06:25,976 --> 00:06:27,726
It's a hot cup of coffee.
It was hot when
I gave it to you.
166
00:06:27,810 --> 00:06:29,559
Would you stick your nose
in a hot cup of coffee?
167
00:06:29,643 --> 00:06:30,726
Why would you
stick your nose--
168
00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:32,059
Because I want to prove to you
169
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,476
that it's cold coffee.
Watch this.
170
00:06:35,476 --> 00:06:36,893
That's cold coffee.
171
00:06:36,976 --> 00:06:38,393
-That doesn't
prove anything except...
-It does.
172
00:06:38,476 --> 00:06:41,309
...that you're an old,
bald nut!
173
00:06:41,643 --> 00:06:43,184
-What'd you say to me?
-You heard me.
174
00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:45,476
-Now get out,
you old, bald fuck!
-With pleasure!
175
00:06:45,559 --> 00:06:47,810
You think I want to sit here
with a wobbly table,
176
00:06:47,893 --> 00:06:49,518
-and drink cold
black coffee?
-Yeah.
177
00:06:49,601 --> 00:06:51,434
-No, thank you.
-Yeah, good. Get out.
178
00:06:51,518 --> 00:06:54,518
Hey. Larry might be
one or two of those things,
but not all three.
179
00:06:54,601 --> 00:06:56,101
Happy New Year, Larry.
180
00:06:56,184 --> 00:06:58,643
Happy New Year, Mocha Joe!
181
00:06:58,726 --> 00:07:01,226
♪ ♪
182
00:07:08,226 --> 00:07:10,559
(collar jingling)
183
00:07:18,142 --> 00:07:20,935
Alice:
Morning, Larry.
How are you?
184
00:07:21,017 --> 00:07:23,976
-Your dog?
-Bogey!
185
00:07:24,059 --> 00:07:25,434
He's eating out of my bowl.
186
00:07:25,518 --> 00:07:27,685
Oh, I just got that bowl
from the kitchen.
187
00:07:27,768 --> 00:07:29,393
I thought
it was an office bowl.
188
00:07:29,476 --> 00:07:31,017
It's an office bowl for humans.
189
00:07:31,101 --> 00:07:32,267
Not for dogs.
190
00:07:32,351 --> 00:07:34,476
I mean, I wash it
at the end of the day
191
00:07:34,559 --> 00:07:36,601
-with soap,
and then I dry it, and--
-No, that's not enough.
192
00:07:36,685 --> 00:07:39,101
It needs to be sterilized.
I can't, I can't...
193
00:07:39,184 --> 00:07:41,351
share a bowl with a dog.
194
00:07:41,434 --> 00:07:42,810
(chuckles uncomfortably)
195
00:07:42,893 --> 00:07:45,768
-Uh, I've got
some mail for you.
-Ah!
196
00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:50,101
-And there's some other stuff.
-Wait a second. Wait a second.
197
00:07:50,726 --> 00:07:51,976
-Look at this.
-Yeah.
198
00:07:52,059 --> 00:07:53,643
-Is that new?
-Relatively.
199
00:07:53,726 --> 00:07:56,726
All right, what--
What the hell is that?
Why is one eye closed?
200
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,059
Huh? What is all that?
201
00:07:58,142 --> 00:08:00,142
Oh, well,
it's kind of personal.
I don't--
202
00:08:00,226 --> 00:08:01,643
I don't share it
with everybody.
203
00:08:01,726 --> 00:08:03,226
Yeah, it's very personal.
204
00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:05,184
The whole world can see it,
but it's personal.
205
00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:06,935
-Well, it's on my body.
-Okay, okay.
206
00:08:07,017 --> 00:08:08,559
Hey, let me ask
you something, okay?
207
00:08:08,643 --> 00:08:10,476
If I walked in here
with a horn on my head,
208
00:08:10,559 --> 00:08:12,184
would you say,
"What are you doing
with a horn on your head?"
209
00:08:12,267 --> 00:08:14,351
I'd say,
"Oh, I can't tell you.
It's personal."
210
00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:17,101
I got the tattoo because
of an event in my life,
211
00:08:17,184 --> 00:08:18,976
and it means something
special to me.
212
00:08:19,059 --> 00:08:20,309
It's a reminder of that to me.
213
00:08:20,393 --> 00:08:22,434
-It's just for me.
-Really?
214
00:08:22,518 --> 00:08:25,393
Then why didn't you
put it on your ass?
215
00:08:26,768 --> 00:08:29,851
I have something from
the business manager
that you need to sign.
216
00:08:29,935 --> 00:08:31,810
Ah. All right.
217
00:08:32,768 --> 00:08:34,935
-Okay.
-Uh, it's just...
218
00:08:35,017 --> 00:08:37,226
There's an initial,
and a date,
219
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:39,810
and I think three signatures.
220
00:08:40,726 --> 00:08:42,017
May I?
221
00:08:42,101 --> 00:08:44,351
Oh, what are you doing?
That's my shirt.
222
00:08:44,434 --> 00:08:46,309
Well, I was...
cleaning my glasses.
223
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:49,101
You can't clean your glasses
with a shirt that I'm wearing
224
00:08:49,184 --> 00:08:50,309
while I'm wearing it.
225
00:08:50,393 --> 00:08:52,851
It's inappropriate.
It's crossing a boundary.
226
00:08:52,935 --> 00:08:55,518
-No good?
-No good.
227
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:57,351
Hmm. (pops lips)
Okay.
228
00:08:57,434 --> 00:08:58,935
♪
229
00:09:01,434 --> 00:09:04,476
(party chatter)
230
00:09:05,726 --> 00:09:08,309
I know. Susie loves this house
even more than her last one.
231
00:09:08,393 --> 00:09:10,226
Well, the last one stunk.
232
00:09:10,309 --> 00:09:12,226
Cheryl:
It was too big.
233
00:09:12,309 --> 00:09:16,226
And he called me, uh...
He called me old and bald.
234
00:09:16,309 --> 00:09:17,810
-What?
-I swear to God.
235
00:09:17,893 --> 00:09:19,267
You know,
I'll tell you something.
I love coffee,
236
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,393
and I love his coffee,
but you're one of my old--
237
00:09:21,476 --> 00:09:22,976
You are my oldest friend.
238
00:09:23,059 --> 00:09:24,810
I'm gonna boycott that place.
239
00:09:24,893 --> 00:09:26,935
-You're gonna boycott
Mocha Joe's?
-I'm boycotting.
240
00:09:27,017 --> 00:09:28,685
-Hey!
-Jeff: How about that?
241
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:31,267
-I'm boycotting Mocha Joe.
You can't do that to my friend.
-Larry: Hey.
242
00:09:31,351 --> 00:09:33,101
-Look at this guy.
Look at this guy.
-That's a friend.
243
00:09:33,184 --> 00:09:34,518
We were in the same
hospital together.
244
00:09:34,601 --> 00:09:36,518
-He can't fuck with my friend.
-All right!
245
00:09:36,601 --> 00:09:38,601
-I'm gonna get some coffee.
-Larry: Okay.
246
00:09:38,685 --> 00:09:40,393
Enjoy your coffee.
247
00:09:40,476 --> 00:09:42,726
-He's boycotting.
-He's boycotting.
That's a big move.
248
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:45,101
-Jeff: That's a big move,
a boycott.
-Oh, my God.
249
00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:47,768
Who invited you?
You pig.
250
00:09:47,851 --> 00:09:50,351
No, uh, Nancy, that is not
Harvey Weinstein.
251
00:09:50,434 --> 00:09:53,476
-I'm so sorry, Jeff.
My sister's from out of town.
-Jeff: Oh!
252
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,434
-I'm just, I'm really sorry.
-Oh, my God. Oh, I'm so--
253
00:09:55,518 --> 00:09:58,017
-Jeff:
I'm the host of the party.
-Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.
254
00:09:58,101 --> 00:09:59,601
Yes, I'm not Harvey Weinstein.
255
00:09:59,685 --> 00:10:01,601
-I'm sorry. Thank you.
I'm sorry.
-Jeff: Okay.
256
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,768
(whispers):
He looks like Harvey Weinstein.
He looks just like him.
257
00:10:03,851 --> 00:10:06,267
-What the hell?
-Okay.
258
00:10:06,351 --> 00:10:10,559
All the time,
women, men--
doesn't matter.
259
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:12,726
-Larry: Geez.
-And suddenly, I'm this guy.
260
00:10:12,810 --> 00:10:15,059
-Unbelievable.
-Unbelievable.
261
00:10:15,142 --> 00:10:18,601
I'm starving.
Oh! Pigs in a blanket.
262
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,267
-What's better?
-Oh...
263
00:10:20,351 --> 00:10:23,518
I've been following
her around all night,
but she never has any.
264
00:10:23,601 --> 00:10:24,935
Jeff:
They go fast.
265
00:10:25,017 --> 00:10:27,476
I don't care how foo-foo
the other items are,
266
00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:29,810
-and people love 'em,
pigs in a blanket.
-Yeah.
267
00:10:29,893 --> 00:10:33,393
Larry, I am
extremely displeased
with your behavior.
268
00:10:33,476 --> 00:10:35,142
Ladies and gentlemen,
269
00:10:35,226 --> 00:10:38,476
the 16th president
of these United States...
270
00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:40,476
-Yeah, yeah. You're funny.
-...Abraham Lincoln.
271
00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:42,142
Let's give him
a big round of applause.
272
00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:44,559
-Like you know anything
about fashion.
-It is such an honor
273
00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:47,101
to be standing near you,
Mr. President.
274
00:10:47,184 --> 00:10:50,476
This hat is very similar
to the one that
Kate Middleton wore.
275
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:52,726
-Okay? You don't know shit.
-Oh, really?
276
00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:54,893
-I know you look ridiculous.
How about that?
-Yeah. Yeah, fine.
277
00:10:54,976 --> 00:10:58,768
You act ridiculous.
Why are you harassing
my friend Randi at the gym?
278
00:10:58,851 --> 00:11:01,601
Hey, you know what?
Somebody has to stand up
for that fetus.
279
00:11:01,685 --> 00:11:03,017
You don't know anything
about fetuses.
280
00:11:03,101 --> 00:11:04,768
I know you don't go
on a treadmill
281
00:11:04,851 --> 00:11:06,476
eight months pregnant.
You don't have to be a genius
282
00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:08,226
-to figure that out.
-Why not? Why not?
283
00:11:08,309 --> 00:11:10,059
Do you think
that's good for fetus?
All that jostling?
284
00:11:10,142 --> 00:11:13,518
It's not your job
to mansplain to Randi!
285
00:11:13,601 --> 00:11:15,309
-Jeff, there's people
I want you to meet.
-Okay.
286
00:11:15,393 --> 00:11:18,017
"Four score and seven years ago,
287
00:11:18,101 --> 00:11:21,393
"our fathers brought forth
to this continent
288
00:11:21,476 --> 00:11:22,893
"a new nation,
289
00:11:22,976 --> 00:11:24,768
"conceived in liberty,
290
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,768
-dedicated..."
-Larry, Happy New Year.
291
00:11:26,851 --> 00:11:28,267
You're too late.
292
00:11:28,351 --> 00:11:30,101
"Happy New Year."
Come on. It's three weeks.
293
00:11:30,184 --> 00:11:32,476
-Isn't it almost
a month already?
-It's ridiculous.
294
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,726
Ah, look, well, they have
nothing to say, these people.
295
00:11:35,351 --> 00:11:38,267
-Oh, man.
-How do you know it's
a happy new year, anyway?
296
00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:40,935
-I can't believe it.
-What?
297
00:11:41,726 --> 00:11:44,351
Aw, I missed 'em again.
It's unbelievable.
298
00:11:44,434 --> 00:11:46,393
Hey, Larry!
Hey!
299
00:11:46,476 --> 00:11:47,601
-Hey.
-How you been?
300
00:11:47,685 --> 00:11:49,184
-Good.
-Yeah, great to see you.
301
00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:50,685
Shit. That's Rosen--
302
00:11:50,768 --> 00:11:51,935
-Phil Rosenthal.
-Phil Rosenthal.
303
00:11:52,017 --> 00:11:53,893
He just talks about
his shows all the time.
304
00:11:53,976 --> 00:11:57,434
His own show, and how about--
Romano is on 500 times a day.
305
00:11:57,518 --> 00:11:58,893
Somebody Feed Phil.
306
00:11:58,976 --> 00:12:01,226
Oh, geez, with all the chaos
in the world,
307
00:12:01,309 --> 00:12:02,935
in third-world countries,
feed him?
308
00:12:03,017 --> 00:12:04,226
He should be feeding
other people.
309
00:12:04,309 --> 00:12:06,059
It should be called
Phil Feeds Everybody.
310
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,559
-You know what I'm gonna
do with him tonight?
-What's that?
311
00:12:08,643 --> 00:12:10,518
The Big Goodbye.
312
00:12:10,601 --> 00:12:12,226
I'm employing
The Big Goodbye.
313
00:12:12,309 --> 00:12:14,559
-It's the greatest
move in history.
-How great is The Big Goodbye?
314
00:12:14,643 --> 00:12:16,476
I've been doing it for years,
since you taught me.
315
00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:18,059
-You avoid the person
all night...
-Of course.
316
00:12:18,142 --> 00:12:20,101
And then at the end,
when you're about to leave,
317
00:12:20,184 --> 00:12:22,059
you go, "Ah!"
You give 'em
a big goodbye.
318
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:25,685
-Then they feel good...
-Bye! Goodbye and good luck
to you and your family.
319
00:12:25,768 --> 00:12:28,226
They're very happy that
you spent this time with them
320
00:12:28,309 --> 00:12:29,726
at the end of the night, and...
321
00:12:29,810 --> 00:12:31,726
-and you slip out.
-It's genius.
322
00:12:31,810 --> 00:12:34,810
Um, are you up for doing
our old ventriloquist act?
323
00:12:34,893 --> 00:12:36,935
-I don't know.
Susie wants to see it.
-Yeah, I'll do it.
324
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:38,059
-You will?
-Yeah.
325
00:12:38,142 --> 00:12:39,393
Okay, good.
Can we do it pretty soon?
326
00:12:39,476 --> 00:12:40,851
Because I want Ted to see it
before he leaves.
327
00:12:40,935 --> 00:12:42,726
-Of course.
-Thank you.
328
00:12:43,518 --> 00:12:45,017
Ted.
329
00:12:45,101 --> 00:12:46,851
-(all laughing)
-I'd like to thank
Jeff and Susie
330
00:12:46,935 --> 00:12:49,935
-for inviting us into
their beautiful home.
-I like the other one.
331
00:12:50,017 --> 00:12:51,810
(crowd laughing)
332
00:12:51,893 --> 00:12:53,893
Well, I think the house
is very nice.
333
00:12:53,976 --> 00:12:56,476
-(laughs)
-(crowd laughing)
334
00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:59,726
Did they throw that
fish smell in for free?
335
00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:02,893
(laughing)
336
00:13:02,976 --> 00:13:06,643
And, and, and look at all
our other friends who are
kind enough to join us.
337
00:13:06,726 --> 00:13:10,643
-There's, there's Ted Danson.
-Wow, is he handsome!
338
00:13:10,726 --> 00:13:12,267
He sure thinks so.
339
00:13:12,351 --> 00:13:15,017
-Oh!
-(laughing)
340
00:13:15,726 --> 00:13:17,976
And how about Susie,
our inimitable hostess?
341
00:13:18,059 --> 00:13:20,810
-(clapping)
-Susie, I love the curtains,
342
00:13:20,893 --> 00:13:22,893
but why did you make
a jacket out of it?
343
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:25,976
-Crowd: Oh!
-(raucous laughter)
344
00:13:26,059 --> 00:13:28,810
-Are you having a good time?
-A good time?
Are you kidding me?
345
00:13:28,893 --> 00:13:32,476
I'm with a bunch of stiffs,
the food sucks, the drinks
aren't strong enough,
346
00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:33,643
and your hand is up my ass.
347
00:13:33,726 --> 00:13:35,893
(laughing)
348
00:13:36,351 --> 00:13:39,476
(laughing):
Hey. Don't look so down.
349
00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:41,601
(laughing)
350
00:13:42,267 --> 00:13:43,935
Are you mad?
351
00:13:44,017 --> 00:13:46,518
-Let's kiss and make up.
-I'm...
352
00:13:46,601 --> 00:13:50,768
-I'm not gonna kiss a dummy.
-I wouldn't. She's got a cold.
353
00:13:51,726 --> 00:13:54,101
Aw. That's the end!
354
00:13:54,184 --> 00:13:56,017
-(applause, laughter)
-Jeff: Bravo!
355
00:13:56,101 --> 00:13:58,476
Bravo! Cheryl and Larry.
356
00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:01,476
-Cheryl and Larry.
-(cheers, whistles)
357
00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:03,768
What a great audience.
Thank you. Thank you.
358
00:14:03,851 --> 00:14:07,226
-Fantastic.
Thank you all for coming.
-Susie: I love that bit.
359
00:14:07,309 --> 00:14:09,559
-Thanks for coming.
-Susie: Always loved that bit.
360
00:14:09,643 --> 00:14:12,351
-You were very funny.
-Thank you.
361
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,935
-I'm sorry, but I gotta
catch my plane.
-Okay.
362
00:14:15,017 --> 00:14:17,518
Actually, you know what,
I better not.
I don't wanna catch a cold.
363
00:14:17,601 --> 00:14:19,351
-Cheryl: Oh, I know.
You gotta stay...
-I'm sorry. Yeah.
364
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:21,434
-I'll call you when I land.
-...healthy. Okay.
365
00:14:21,518 --> 00:14:22,935
You don't need to call her
when you land.
366
00:14:23,017 --> 00:14:25,101
If there's a plane crash,
we'll know about it.
367
00:14:25,184 --> 00:14:27,226
-Okay. I'll walk you, Ted.
-Thank you, guys.
368
00:14:27,309 --> 00:14:29,559
-Susie: Thank you for coming.
-Ted: That was a great evening.
369
00:14:29,643 --> 00:14:31,768
♪
370
00:14:39,351 --> 00:14:41,559
Ah! There you are.
Finally gotcha.
371
00:14:41,643 --> 00:14:43,476
Sir, I need you
to get out of here.
372
00:14:43,559 --> 00:14:45,226
Get out of here?
What are you talking about?
373
00:14:45,309 --> 00:14:48,059
I need you to leave this room
'cause you've been ogling me...
374
00:14:48,142 --> 00:14:50,184
-the entire night.
-Ogling you? Are you nuts?
375
00:14:50,267 --> 00:14:52,851
-I, I, I've been ogling
the pigs in a blanket.
-Am I--
376
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,393
Oh, my God. Yeah.
377
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:57,309
-Not the first time
this has happened.
-What? I want one.
378
00:15:08,184 --> 00:15:09,309
Wow.
379
00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:12,893
-Ah. Hey.
-Hey. Excuse me.
380
00:15:12,976 --> 00:15:14,893
-Huh? Were we a hit?
-We were a hit.
381
00:15:14,976 --> 00:15:17,851
-We were the highlight
of this party.
-Highlight of the party.
382
00:15:17,935 --> 00:15:20,851
Yeah, I mean,
it's a been a while,
but we've still got it.
383
00:15:20,935 --> 00:15:23,267
-What are--
What are you doing?
-I'm gonna go home.
384
00:15:23,351 --> 00:15:25,267
-I'm just getting an Uber.
-Uber?
385
00:15:25,351 --> 00:15:27,810
-I'll take you home.
-You don't have to do that.
386
00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:29,267
Ah, it's nothing.
387
00:15:29,351 --> 00:15:32,184
-Okay. Okay.
Thank you. That's--
-Um, just give me...
388
00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:33,643
Give me two minutes.
389
00:15:33,726 --> 00:15:35,976
Okay. All right. Thanks.
390
00:15:36,726 --> 00:15:38,309
Are you kidding?
391
00:15:38,393 --> 00:15:41,351
I can't believe
I didn't get a chance
to talk to you all night,
392
00:15:41,434 --> 00:15:42,976
and now I'm on my way out.
393
00:15:43,059 --> 00:15:45,685
-What a shame.
-You giving me
The Big Goodbye?
394
00:15:45,768 --> 00:15:47,976
-The Big Goodbye? What are you--
What are you talking about?
-Big Goodbye.
395
00:15:48,059 --> 00:15:50,518
Where you avoid me all night,
and then you think you can
396
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,851
cure it by having a Big Goodbye.
I know. I've been around.
397
00:15:52,935 --> 00:15:55,726
-I wasn't giving you a Big-- I
never heard of the Big Goodbye.
-It seems like a Big Goodbye.
398
00:15:55,810 --> 00:15:57,810
No, it wasn't.
It was just a normal goodbye.
399
00:15:57,893 --> 00:15:59,476
-That's a normal goodbye.
-Yeah?
400
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:00,726
-Yeah.
-Really?
401
00:16:00,810 --> 00:16:01,976
Yeah. I wasn't trying
to avoid you.
402
00:16:02,059 --> 00:16:03,559
Are you kidding?
Why would I avoid you?
403
00:16:03,643 --> 00:16:05,184
Have lunch with me
Wednesday?
404
00:16:05,601 --> 00:16:07,309
We have a lot to talk about.
Listen,
405
00:16:07,393 --> 00:16:09,351
we're doing Raymond
in Portugal.
406
00:16:09,434 --> 00:16:11,851
Yeah.
Everybody Loves Joam.
407
00:16:11,935 --> 00:16:13,976
It's fantastic.
I get to go.
408
00:16:14,059 --> 00:16:15,851
And then I have the whole
Somebody Feed Phil show.
409
00:16:15,935 --> 00:16:18,685
I want you to do my show.
I want to go to Ethiopia
with you.
410
00:16:18,768 --> 00:16:20,810
-(chuckles) Ethiopia.
-Ethiopia's great.
411
00:16:20,893 --> 00:16:22,476
I don't think I'm
running off to Ethiopia--
412
00:16:22,559 --> 00:16:23,976
Sure, you eat with your hands.
It's fantastic.
413
00:16:24,059 --> 00:16:25,476
-Everybody shares,
and, and the thing--
-I... I...
414
00:16:25,559 --> 00:16:27,267
-I don't like to leave
the continent, you know.
-No?
415
00:16:27,351 --> 00:16:28,643
-Nah.
-All right.
You know what?
416
00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:30,476
We'll start lunch Wednesday.
We'll see where it goes.
417
00:16:30,559 --> 00:16:32,935
Say yes to me
and you can go.
418
00:16:33,518 --> 00:16:35,393
-Okay.
-Okay.
419
00:16:35,476 --> 00:16:36,893
Larry: You know,
did I ever tell you
420
00:16:36,976 --> 00:16:39,393
that I once did a, uh,
premature Big Goodbye?
421
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:41,643
So what does that mean?
You said goodbye and then
you didn't leave?
422
00:16:41,726 --> 00:16:43,935
-I did a Big Goodbye
and then I didn't--
-Come on.
423
00:16:44,017 --> 00:16:46,851
-And I didn't leave.
-And what did they do?
They were mad?
424
00:16:46,935 --> 00:16:49,685
-I ran into her in the kitchen
about an hour later.
-Come on.
425
00:16:49,768 --> 00:16:52,476
And what do you say?
What do you even say?
426
00:16:52,559 --> 00:16:54,685
She said,
"I thought you left."
I said, "Well, you know.
427
00:16:54,768 --> 00:16:57,643
I got, uh...
something happened."
I don't know.
428
00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,309
I made up a story.
429
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,976
I, but I,
I can't believe that...
430
00:17:02,059 --> 00:17:03,518
that he knew about
the Big Goodbye.
431
00:17:03,601 --> 00:17:05,267
-(laughing)
-That was unbelievable to me.
432
00:17:05,351 --> 00:17:08,142
Well, I can't believe
that you kissed me when
you knew I had a cold.
433
00:17:08,226 --> 00:17:09,851
That was pretty unbelievable.
434
00:17:09,935 --> 00:17:12,101
Yeah. You...
435
00:17:13,309 --> 00:17:15,267
I would do it again.
436
00:17:24,851 --> 00:17:26,351
(sighs)
437
00:17:35,267 --> 00:17:37,101
Cheryl:
Wow, Larry.
438
00:17:37,518 --> 00:17:39,142
What are we doing?
439
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,059
By the way,
before we get into that,
440
00:17:42,142 --> 00:17:44,226
are you aware that you have
a wobbly table here?
441
00:17:44,309 --> 00:17:47,559
Look at this.
Look at this table.
It's unbelievable.
442
00:17:47,643 --> 00:17:50,810
-I, I don't know how you
can go to bed at night.
-Yeah, it doesn't bother me.
443
00:17:50,893 --> 00:17:52,768
If all tables in
your house wobbled,
444
00:17:52,851 --> 00:17:54,976
you could live like that?
You could in a wobble-house?
445
00:17:55,059 --> 00:17:59,142
We need to talk about Ted.
We need to talk about everything
that just happened here.
446
00:17:59,226 --> 00:18:01,059
-What?
-What?
447
00:18:01,142 --> 00:18:03,184
-What are you so...
-Oh...
448
00:18:03,267 --> 00:18:04,768
I'm, I'm your ex-husband.
449
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:07,059
Ted is such a good person.
450
00:18:07,142 --> 00:18:09,518
No, he's not such
a good person, okay?
451
00:18:09,601 --> 00:18:12,226
You don't do that.
You don't date
a friend's ex-wife.
452
00:18:12,309 --> 00:18:14,101
I mean, it's crazy.
453
00:18:14,685 --> 00:18:17,142
-You know what it is?
-Now... what?
454
00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:20,935
I think when I'm with you,
it makes me feel...
455
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,935
-...better about myself?
-Morally superior.
456
00:18:24,017 --> 00:18:25,351
-Yes.
-Yes.
457
00:18:25,434 --> 00:18:27,101
-I hear that a lot. Yeah.
-Yeah. So, I'm not perfect,
458
00:18:27,184 --> 00:18:29,768
-but at least
I'm better than you.
-You're better than me.
459
00:18:29,851 --> 00:18:31,184
I can relate to
what you're saying,
460
00:18:31,267 --> 00:18:33,351
'cause I don't, I don't
feel that way with people.
461
00:18:33,434 --> 00:18:36,685
-I feel morally
inferior to people.
-Yeah.
462
00:18:36,768 --> 00:18:39,935
But I feel that way
with animals 'cause
they're generally so stupid,
463
00:18:40,017 --> 00:18:42,851
and I can--
especially insects,
I can crush them.
464
00:18:42,935 --> 00:18:45,101
You know, and, and
they eat each other.
465
00:18:45,184 --> 00:18:47,685
I mean, they're crazy,
animals. So, yeah.
466
00:18:47,768 --> 00:18:50,142
I feel smarter
and morally superior to them.
467
00:18:50,226 --> 00:18:51,810
(both laugh)
468
00:18:51,893 --> 00:18:55,393
-Hey. Uh... Let me
ask you something.
-Yeah?
469
00:18:56,267 --> 00:18:58,559
Is there any chance that...
470
00:18:59,434 --> 00:19:02,101
we might meet up again?
471
00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:04,601
We'll see.
472
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:05,935
We'll see.
473
00:19:06,184 --> 00:19:09,226
-You can't stay here.
-I'm gonna tell you something,
okay?
474
00:19:09,309 --> 00:19:11,309
-If we ever got
back together...
-Yeah.
475
00:19:11,393 --> 00:19:14,810
...and somehow this table
appeared on, on our bedside...
476
00:19:14,893 --> 00:19:17,810
-Yeah?
-...it would be fixed
immediately.
477
00:19:17,893 --> 00:19:19,768
-Immediately.
-Oh, my God.
478
00:19:19,851 --> 00:19:22,685
-Larry: I could not live
with a wobbly table.
-Cheryl: Larry, please.
479
00:19:22,768 --> 00:19:24,226
-Go.
-Larry: Okay.
480
00:19:28,476 --> 00:19:30,059
Ha-ha!
481
00:19:30,142 --> 00:19:31,685
-What?
-Where the fuck you been at?
482
00:19:31,768 --> 00:19:33,518
-What are you? My mother?
-Fuck yeah, I am.
483
00:19:33,601 --> 00:19:35,685
All right,
I was at a party, okay?
I was at Jeff's party.
484
00:19:35,768 --> 00:19:37,518
-That party was over
a long time ago.
-Huh?
485
00:19:37,601 --> 00:19:40,685
Yeah. This right here--
This right here?
It's called tappin' hours.
486
00:19:40,768 --> 00:19:42,726
This is the hours when
people are tappin' ass.
487
00:19:42,810 --> 00:19:44,601
I'm not tappin'.
I'm not tappin'.
488
00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:46,476
Older white men should not
be out this fuckin' late.
489
00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:49,601
There's no late-night
yacht club,
or late-night garage sales
490
00:19:49,685 --> 00:19:51,434
and shit like that.
You out here fuckin'.
491
00:19:51,518 --> 00:19:53,017
When I'm tappin',
I always tell you.
492
00:19:53,101 --> 00:19:54,726
I come home and spread
the fuckin' news.
493
00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:56,393
You wanna know who I'm tappin'?
You wanna know who I'm tappin'?
494
00:19:56,476 --> 00:19:58,559
-Who the fuck you tappin'?
-(slams)
495
00:19:58,643 --> 00:20:01,267
Larry: I can't get out of it.
It's Phil Rosenthal.
He's just--
496
00:20:01,351 --> 00:20:03,017
What do you do?
How many times
can you say no?
497
00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:05,017
You couldn't do
the Big Goodbye?
498
00:20:05,101 --> 00:20:07,226
I did the Big Goodbye.
He saw right through it.
499
00:20:07,309 --> 00:20:08,768
Ah! You know what I'll do?
500
00:20:08,851 --> 00:20:10,351
I'll call you
in the middle of lunch.
501
00:20:10,434 --> 00:20:12,476
Say it's an emergency
and you gotta go.
502
00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:14,393
I did that the last time
I had lunch with him.
503
00:20:14,476 --> 00:20:16,476
Oh, boy.
That guy's relentless.
504
00:20:16,559 --> 00:20:19,601
Hey, Lar, that was
some party last night, huh?
505
00:20:20,142 --> 00:20:22,101
-Yeah, it was a great party.
-You had a good time?
506
00:20:22,184 --> 00:20:23,768
-I did. I had a nice time.
-Yeah.
507
00:20:23,851 --> 00:20:26,309
So you drove Cheryl home?
508
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,267
Yep.
509
00:20:28,351 --> 00:20:29,768
That was very nice of you.
510
00:20:29,851 --> 00:20:32,017
-Considering Ted's
out of town--
-Yeah. I'm a nice guy.
511
00:20:32,101 --> 00:20:33,559
-Yeah.
-Yeah. I'm a nice guy.
512
00:20:33,643 --> 00:20:35,643
So, what, did you just
drop her off, or--
513
00:20:35,726 --> 00:20:37,893
-Yeah. Pretty much.
-Hmm.
514
00:20:37,976 --> 00:20:41,726
Dropped her off.
Said good night.
Went on my merry way.
515
00:20:41,810 --> 00:20:43,351
Mm-hmm.
516
00:20:44,893 --> 00:20:47,976
-Is there something
you would like to know, or--
-No, no, no.
517
00:20:48,059 --> 00:20:49,976
Something you're
not saying? Um...
518
00:20:50,059 --> 00:20:51,810
You know, can I person
not just ask
519
00:20:51,893 --> 00:20:54,601
-a, a normal question?
-No, they're not
normal questions.
520
00:20:54,685 --> 00:20:57,393
-There's a lot of implications.
A lot of implications.
-Larry: You're fishing--
521
00:20:57,476 --> 00:20:59,142
You're on a little
fishing expedition.
522
00:20:59,226 --> 00:21:00,768
You know,
you two are something.
523
00:21:00,851 --> 00:21:02,101
-You two make crap up--
-We're something?
524
00:21:02,184 --> 00:21:03,601
You know what?
You're something.
525
00:21:03,685 --> 00:21:05,601
Don't eat all the leftovers.
We need them for dinner.
526
00:21:05,685 --> 00:21:07,851
-Jeff: Sure, I won't.
-You're something.
527
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:11,267
-I'll eat whatever
the fuck I want.
-That's right.
528
00:21:11,351 --> 00:21:12,935
Hey. Did you sleep with Cheryl?
529
00:21:13,017 --> 00:21:14,559
-Yeah.
-You did?
530
00:21:14,643 --> 00:21:17,267
-Yeah. Listen.
(chuckles)
-Ah.
531
00:21:17,351 --> 00:21:19,768
You cannot say anything
to Susie. Cannot.
532
00:21:19,851 --> 00:21:21,768
Under any circumstances.
Cheryl swore me to secrecy.
533
00:21:21,851 --> 00:21:23,017
She didn't want me to tell you.
534
00:21:23,101 --> 00:21:24,935
But I had to.
I couldn't--
How could I not?
535
00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:26,935
I'm a human being,
for God's sake.
536
00:21:27,017 --> 00:21:28,476
-I think it's great.
-Right?
537
00:21:28,559 --> 00:21:30,935
Yes. Wha--
What are you hoping
to get out of it, though?
538
00:21:31,017 --> 00:21:33,559
I'm hoping to get
back together, but...
539
00:21:33,643 --> 00:21:36,518
-I'll be surprised
if I see her again.
-Hmm.
540
00:21:36,601 --> 00:21:38,685
We on for golf on Saturday?
541
00:21:38,768 --> 00:21:40,309
Yeah. Um...
542
00:21:40,393 --> 00:21:42,142
Arnie Norton asked
if he could play.
543
00:21:42,226 --> 00:21:45,267
(scoffs)
I'm not playing with him.
He's a Trump supporter.
544
00:21:45,351 --> 00:21:47,601
-Never play with
a Trump supporter.
-Really?
545
00:21:47,685 --> 00:21:49,393
See him around town
with that hat.
546
00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:51,059
"Make America Great Again."
547
00:21:51,142 --> 00:21:53,101
I don't need that crap.
548
00:21:54,226 --> 00:21:57,101
He just--
He makes me want to
not be anywhere near him.
549
00:21:57,976 --> 00:22:01,476
I don't know.
You can check with Carl.
See if he wants to play.
550
00:22:01,559 --> 00:22:02,768
I gotta go.
551
00:22:04,142 --> 00:22:06,976
(Phil whistling)
552
00:22:07,518 --> 00:22:08,976
-Phil: Oh, hello, there.
-Hostess: Hi.
553
00:22:09,059 --> 00:22:11,393
Hi. I'm Phil Rosenthal.
I have a twelve o'clock.
554
00:22:11,476 --> 00:22:13,351
Oh, yes.
Mr. David's already here.
555
00:22:13,434 --> 00:22:15,768
-He is? Wow.
-Yes. Right this way.
556
00:22:15,851 --> 00:22:18,393
-Very impressive.
-He was early.
557
00:22:21,935 --> 00:22:23,267
Enjoy.
558
00:22:23,351 --> 00:22:25,643
Larry:
Hey, Phil!
559
00:22:26,559 --> 00:22:29,768
Good to see you.
Sit. Sit down. Sit down.
560
00:22:30,976 --> 00:22:33,810
Boy, I'm so glad we did this.
It was such a good idea.
561
00:22:33,893 --> 00:22:35,184
You, you were definitely right.
562
00:22:35,267 --> 00:22:37,017
I'm, I'm starving.
I hope this place is good.
563
00:22:37,101 --> 00:22:38,851
Yeah, yeah, it's great.
It's big portions
564
00:22:38,935 --> 00:22:41,017
on the food and everything.
It's really...
565
00:22:41,101 --> 00:22:43,101
a fantastic place. Um...
566
00:22:43,184 --> 00:22:45,393
You know what else?
I've been thinking...
567
00:22:45,476 --> 00:22:47,976
Really thinking about
this Ethiopia thing.
568
00:22:48,059 --> 00:22:50,226
Yeah, actually,
I heard that
we have some budget cuts,
569
00:22:50,309 --> 00:22:54,017
and Ethiopia's a little...
ex-expensive to shoot in.
570
00:22:54,101 --> 00:22:55,726
Wasn't that one of
the shithole countries?
571
00:22:55,810 --> 00:22:57,976
I can't remember if
that was on the list or not.
572
00:22:58,059 --> 00:23:00,851
-Oh, look. I'm getting a thing.
-Larry: Oh!
573
00:23:01,226 --> 00:23:03,685
Oh, yeah.
Oh, look at that.
Um, uh...
574
00:23:03,768 --> 00:23:06,226
My son's flight, uh,
got in early.
575
00:23:06,309 --> 00:23:08,726
-And I gotta get him.
I gotta go get him.
-Oh! Really?
576
00:23:08,810 --> 00:23:12,017
-Yeah, no, really.
-Let's... Send, send
an Uber or something.
577
00:23:12,101 --> 00:23:14,643
He needs to see me
because he has a little anxiety.
578
00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:16,393
No, no! You know what?
Phil...
579
00:23:16,476 --> 00:23:19,267
No, no.
We'll, we'll, we'll...
We'll... something.
580
00:23:22,142 --> 00:23:23,685
Ah!
581
00:23:23,768 --> 00:23:25,601
Fill her up.
582
00:23:26,476 --> 00:23:28,393
-Ah! Arigato!
-Yes.
583
00:23:28,476 --> 00:23:31,935
-Arigato!
-All right. Two seats
at the sushi bar.
584
00:23:39,142 --> 00:23:41,976
You know what?
Actually, I think we'd prefer
to sit at a table, please.
585
00:23:42,059 --> 00:23:43,726
Larry:
Huh.
586
00:23:45,351 --> 00:23:46,851
Sad.
587
00:23:46,935 --> 00:23:48,976
Very sad. Sad.
588
00:23:49,059 --> 00:23:51,101
(motorcycle rumbling)
589
00:23:51,184 --> 00:23:53,226
(singing indistinctly)
590
00:23:53,309 --> 00:23:56,142
-Biker: Hey! What
the fuck are you doing?
-Whoa.
591
00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:58,768
-Oh, God. Oh, God.
-Motherfucker!
What the fuck?
592
00:23:58,851 --> 00:24:00,518
What are you
trying to do, man?
593
00:24:00,601 --> 00:24:03,726
-What the fuck are you doing?
You little fucker!
-Oh, God. Oh, God.
594
00:24:03,810 --> 00:24:06,101
-I'm sorry, I didn't see you.
-What the fuck?
595
00:24:06,184 --> 00:24:08,726
-I'm sorry, I didn't see you!
-I'm ought to rip you
outta that fuckin' car!
596
00:24:08,810 --> 00:24:11,768
-You little shit.
-I'm sorry.
I didn't see you.
597
00:24:11,851 --> 00:24:14,226
Oh. Just be more careful
next time, okay?
598
00:24:14,309 --> 00:24:17,434
Will do. Will do.
Okay. Thank you.
599
00:24:17,518 --> 00:24:19,476
♪
600
00:24:21,810 --> 00:24:23,810
Richard:
♪ Now, now... ♪
601
00:24:23,893 --> 00:24:27,309
♪ I want my coffee
and my Danish
right now, now, now ♪
602
00:24:27,393 --> 00:24:30,601
(continues singing indistinctly)
603
00:24:45,267 --> 00:24:47,142
-(knocking)
-What are you--
What are you doing here?
604
00:24:47,226 --> 00:24:49,059
What do you mean
what am I doin' here?
605
00:24:49,142 --> 00:24:51,184
-Come here. Come out.
I want to talk to you.
-You come here.
606
00:24:51,267 --> 00:24:53,351
-No, come on.
Come on out here.
-No, you come.
607
00:24:53,434 --> 00:24:55,559
-Come on. I want
to talk to you. Come on.
-I'm not leaving. You come.
608
00:24:55,643 --> 00:24:58,434
-You come. You come.
-(mutters): Aw, fuck it.
609
00:24:59,726 --> 00:25:02,267
What are you doing here?
You said you were gonna
boycott this place.
610
00:25:02,351 --> 00:25:03,976
I am boycotting this place.
611
00:25:04,059 --> 00:25:06,017
Oh, this is a boycott?
Sitting here drinking coffee?
612
00:25:06,101 --> 00:25:07,601
That's a boy--
That's quite a boycott.
613
00:25:07,685 --> 00:25:10,726
I told you,
for the rest of
my dying days,
614
00:25:10,810 --> 00:25:13,267
I will never come
to this place with you.
615
00:25:13,351 --> 00:25:15,059
-Ever.
-That's not what you said.
616
00:25:15,142 --> 00:25:17,351
-I said I was--
-You said you're
boycotting this place.
617
00:25:17,434 --> 00:25:19,476
And you're
never coming back here.
You didn't say with me.
618
00:25:19,559 --> 00:25:21,768
What are you?
My Jewish puppet master?
619
00:25:21,851 --> 00:25:23,768
I can do whatever
the fuck I want alone,
620
00:25:23,851 --> 00:25:25,851
-but with you,
I will never come in here.
-Look!
621
00:25:25,935 --> 00:25:27,184
I swear on my life.
622
00:25:27,267 --> 00:25:28,810
Who the fuck needs you
for a boycott
623
00:25:28,893 --> 00:25:31,142
if I'm boycotting already?
I don't need you
624
00:25:31,226 --> 00:25:32,726
to boycott.
You said you're boycotting,
625
00:25:32,810 --> 00:25:34,017
-but you didn't boycott.
-Are you done?
626
00:25:34,101 --> 00:25:35,726
I-- I don't understand.
I si-- (scoffs)
627
00:25:35,810 --> 00:25:37,810
-I don't understand you.
-(woman coughing)
628
00:25:38,518 --> 00:25:40,643
Oh, my God.
Now she's drinking coffee!
629
00:25:40,726 --> 00:25:42,518
-Richard: Who's that?
-Larry: It's unbelievable.
630
00:25:42,601 --> 00:25:44,726
-Richard: Who?
-Susie's friend. I saw her
in the gym the other day.
631
00:25:44,810 --> 00:25:47,142
She's eight months pregnant.
She was running on a treadmill.
632
00:25:47,851 --> 00:25:49,893
She has no regard
for this fetus.
633
00:25:49,976 --> 00:25:51,559
Now she's drinking coffee.
634
00:25:51,643 --> 00:25:55,101
This coffee, by the way,
is unbelievable.
It's fantastic.
635
00:25:55,184 --> 00:25:57,059
-Is it hot?
-It's very hot.
636
00:25:57,142 --> 00:26:00,226
-Let me see that for a second.
-Hey, don't touch my--
I don't like-- Don't touch it.
637
00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:02,267
What the-- Hey, stop it!
638
00:26:02,976 --> 00:26:04,768
What are you,
a fuckin' goose?
639
00:26:04,851 --> 00:26:07,142
Okay. That's not
hot coffee, okay?
640
00:26:07,226 --> 00:26:09,351
If that was hot coffee,
I, I would have burned my nose.
641
00:26:09,434 --> 00:26:12,267
Who asked for a nose test?
I didn't want a nose test!
642
00:26:12,351 --> 00:26:14,017
-What, are you
outta your mind?
-Not hot.
643
00:26:14,101 --> 00:26:15,518
What the hell
is going on here?
644
00:26:15,601 --> 00:26:17,601
-Is he bothering you,
Mr. Lewis?
-Yes, he's bothering me.
645
00:26:17,685 --> 00:26:19,935
-Oh, really?
-Richard: Yeah, really.
646
00:26:20,017 --> 00:26:22,226
You know what, Larry?
Get out.
647
00:26:22,309 --> 00:26:24,226
-Huh.
-This is what it's come to.
648
00:26:24,309 --> 00:26:27,559
You're banned. For life.
I never wanna see you
in here again.
649
00:26:27,643 --> 00:26:31,184
-Is that so?
-Yeah. You're banned.
Banned! Get out!
650
00:26:31,267 --> 00:26:33,393
With pleasure.
651
00:26:35,017 --> 00:26:36,434
♪
652
00:26:36,518 --> 00:26:38,518
Mark my words, Mocha Joe,
653
00:26:39,267 --> 00:26:40,893
and mark them well.
654
00:26:40,976 --> 00:26:44,059
I don't know how,
and I don't know when,
655
00:26:44,142 --> 00:26:46,351
but I will exact vengeance.
656
00:26:46,434 --> 00:26:48,017
As God is my witness,
657
00:26:48,101 --> 00:26:51,893
I will bring you to the brink
of extinction,
658
00:26:51,976 --> 00:26:54,142
or I will die trying.
659
00:26:54,810 --> 00:26:57,518
-Happy New Year, Mocha Joe!
-Happy New Year, Larry.
660
00:26:57,601 --> 00:26:58,768
Hey, Happy New Year, man.
661
00:26:58,851 --> 00:27:00,643
Happy New Year.
662
00:27:00,726 --> 00:27:02,518
♪ ♪
663
00:27:11,726 --> 00:27:14,393
(phone ringing)
664
00:27:15,184 --> 00:27:16,726
Hello, Larry David's office.
665
00:27:16,810 --> 00:27:18,393
Valerie (over phone):
Hi, my name is Valerie Ashburn.
666
00:27:18,476 --> 00:27:19,810
I'd like to speak
to Larry David.
667
00:27:19,893 --> 00:27:21,601
Yes, may I ask
what this is regarding?
668
00:27:21,685 --> 00:27:25,726
Sure. This is regarding him
sexually assaulting me
at a party.
669
00:27:26,101 --> 00:27:28,810
Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.
What--
670
00:27:28,893 --> 00:27:30,476
What happened?
671
00:27:30,559 --> 00:27:31,810
I was catering at a party.
672
00:27:31,893 --> 00:27:34,476
Larry was molesting me
with his eyes
673
00:27:34,559 --> 00:27:37,351
the entire night.
And then when I went
into a pantry,
674
00:27:37,434 --> 00:27:39,643
he followed me in,
cornered me,
675
00:27:39,726 --> 00:27:41,768
and he grabbed my breast.
I was lucky to get out of there.
676
00:27:41,851 --> 00:27:45,267
-You know he did something
like that to me, too?
-Valerie: No.
677
00:27:45,351 --> 00:27:47,518
-Oh, my God.
-Alice: Yeah.
678
00:27:47,601 --> 00:27:49,434
Everything was fine.
And one day he...
679
00:27:49,518 --> 00:27:51,267
asked about a tattoo
I have on my arm,
680
00:27:51,351 --> 00:27:52,476
and I wouldn't tell him
what it meant,
681
00:27:52,559 --> 00:27:53,768
and then he got
obsessive about it.
682
00:27:53,851 --> 00:27:55,351
And why did I have it
on my arm,
683
00:27:55,434 --> 00:27:57,893
and why didn't I
have it on my butt,
somewhere private.
684
00:27:57,976 --> 00:27:59,559
Okay. So this is a pattern.
685
00:27:59,643 --> 00:28:01,935
Alice:
Oh, yeah. And that's
just the beginning.
686
00:28:15,851 --> 00:28:17,559
What the fuck!
687
00:28:18,685 --> 00:28:19,935
Fuck!
688
00:28:20,017 --> 00:28:21,935
(gags)
689
00:28:23,518 --> 00:28:25,101
(groans)
690
00:28:27,351 --> 00:28:28,810
Shit.
691
00:28:29,601 --> 00:28:32,351
Damn it. Frickin' dog.
692
00:28:33,142 --> 00:28:36,059
And he grabbed my shirt
to wipe his glasses.
693
00:28:36,142 --> 00:28:38,476
Hold on.
I have to shut the door.
694
00:28:43,351 --> 00:28:45,935
-Larry?
-Larry: I'll be out
in a second.
695
00:28:46,017 --> 00:28:47,643
Okay.
696
00:28:53,393 --> 00:28:54,893
-What's with the robe?
-Larry: Oh.
697
00:28:54,976 --> 00:28:57,768
'Cause I spit cereal up
all over my shirt,
698
00:28:57,851 --> 00:28:59,559
because there was
dog hair in it.
699
00:28:59,643 --> 00:29:01,476
-(groans) Disgusting.
-Larry: Right?
700
00:29:01,559 --> 00:29:04,768
So... what's going on?
What do you...
701
00:29:04,851 --> 00:29:07,476
What, what are you doing here?
You haven't been here in a year.
702
00:29:07,559 --> 00:29:09,393
What the fuck is
going on with you?
703
00:29:09,476 --> 00:29:11,434
-What are you talking about?
-You're wearing a MAGA hat
704
00:29:11,518 --> 00:29:12,893
at a sushi restaurant?
705
00:29:13,017 --> 00:29:15,685
-Is that true?
-Well, I did have
the hat on, yeah.
706
00:29:15,768 --> 00:29:17,935
-What, are you pro-Trump?
-No, no.
707
00:29:18,017 --> 00:29:19,643
Look, I got this idea
to wear that hat
708
00:29:19,726 --> 00:29:22,101
-so I wouldn't have to have
lunch with Phil Rosenthal.
-Mm.
709
00:29:22,184 --> 00:29:25,101
And it worked like a charm.
He saw me in the hat
and he left the restaurant.
710
00:29:25,184 --> 00:29:26,768
-It was amazing.
-I'm not surprised.
711
00:29:26,851 --> 00:29:28,893
You know what?
It's really comin' in handy.
712
00:29:28,976 --> 00:29:31,267
Yeah, 'cause no one's gonna
wanna be anywhere near you.
713
00:29:31,351 --> 00:29:33,976
Exactly!
It's, it's a great
people repellent.
714
00:29:34,851 --> 00:29:36,935
-(groans)
-You know, look.
When you're a celebrity,
715
00:29:37,017 --> 00:29:39,601
you can do anything you want.
You can grab 'em by the pussy--
716
00:29:39,685 --> 00:29:41,601
-What did you say?
-What?
717
00:29:41,685 --> 00:29:43,142
Why are you wearing
a bathrobe?
718
00:29:43,226 --> 00:29:46,810
-And that hat!
-Oh, no, no! No, I--
(stammering)
719
00:29:46,893 --> 00:29:49,559
Oh, my God!
You're friends
with that monster?
720
00:29:49,643 --> 00:29:50,810
-No, I'm--
-Alice: No!
721
00:29:50,893 --> 00:29:52,768
-No, no, no, no, no!
-No! No, no, I'm just--
722
00:29:52,851 --> 00:29:53,935
Alice:
I'm getting a lawyer!
723
00:29:54,017 --> 00:29:55,643
No! What? Hey! What?
724
00:29:55,726 --> 00:29:57,142
No! I'm in the bathrobe
725
00:29:57,226 --> 00:29:58,643
'cause your fuckin' dog
got hair
726
00:29:58,726 --> 00:29:59,851
all over my cereal bowl,
727
00:29:59,935 --> 00:30:01,518
and that's not Weinstein!
728
00:30:01,601 --> 00:30:04,226
♪ ♪
729
00:30:23,685 --> 00:30:26,309
-I'll take it.
-It's all yours.
730
00:30:26,393 --> 00:30:29,393
♪
731
00:30:38,226 --> 00:30:39,476
What are you doin' here, Larry?
732
00:30:39,559 --> 00:30:41,142
I thought I told
you to get out
and not come back.
733
00:30:41,226 --> 00:30:43,935
Yeah, so you did, Mocha Joe.
So you did.
734
00:30:44,017 --> 00:30:45,768
I've merely come to inform you
735
00:30:45,851 --> 00:30:48,476
that I have leased
the place next door,
736
00:30:48,559 --> 00:30:51,059
where I'll be opening up
a coffee shop
737
00:30:51,142 --> 00:30:53,184
exactly the same as yours.
738
00:30:53,267 --> 00:30:55,726
Only charging
much lower prices.
739
00:30:55,810 --> 00:30:57,851
All for the express purpose
740
00:30:57,935 --> 00:30:59,768
of taking you down.
741
00:30:59,851 --> 00:31:02,101
Knock yourself out.
I welcome the competition.
742
00:31:02,184 --> 00:31:04,726
-Yeah.
-I'm not afraid of you.
You don't have the beans.
743
00:31:04,810 --> 00:31:07,976
I'm the only guy
in Los Angeles
who has these beans.
744
00:31:08,059 --> 00:31:10,142
-Yeah. I'll get beans.
-Oh, you won't find
better beans
745
00:31:10,226 --> 00:31:11,601
-than my beans.
-I'll get better beans.
746
00:31:11,685 --> 00:31:13,393
-No such thing as better beans.
-There are better beans,
747
00:31:13,476 --> 00:31:14,935
-Mocha Joe.
-No better beans, Larry.
748
00:31:15,017 --> 00:31:17,351
-I will find better beans.
-Mm-hmm, good luck.
749
00:31:17,434 --> 00:31:19,017
See ya, Larry.
750
00:31:19,101 --> 00:31:21,309
-You know what
I'm gonna call it?
-What?
751
00:31:21,393 --> 00:31:24,184
Latte Larry's.
752
00:31:28,643 --> 00:31:31,142
(panting)
753
00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:36,059
(doorbell chimes)
754
00:31:36,142 --> 00:31:38,768
♪
755
00:31:49,976 --> 00:31:51,601
Can I come in?
756
00:31:52,893 --> 00:31:54,142
Y-yes.
757
00:31:54,226 --> 00:31:55,726
-Yes, yes.
-Are you sure?
758
00:31:55,810 --> 00:31:58,559
Yeah, I'm positive.
I'm a little surprised,
is all.
759
00:31:58,643 --> 00:32:00,351
-Come in.
-Okay.
760
00:32:00,434 --> 00:32:01,601
-Wow.
-Well...
761
00:32:01,685 --> 00:32:03,101
Holy cow. I can't--
762
00:32:03,184 --> 00:32:05,434
-I can't believe you're here.
-You told me, right? I mean--
763
00:32:05,518 --> 00:32:07,851
Um...
764
00:32:09,976 --> 00:32:11,393
Give me two minutes.
765
00:32:11,476 --> 00:32:13,559
Two minutes.
I'll be right back.
Stay right there.
766
00:32:17,685 --> 00:32:20,768
-Leon: Ha-ha! (yells)
-(TV playing indistinctly)
767
00:32:20,851 --> 00:32:22,851
(Leon laughing)
768
00:32:23,101 --> 00:32:25,017
(knocking continues)
769
00:32:25,851 --> 00:32:28,017
-Fuckin' my movie up.
What you want?
-I need that talcum powder.
770
00:32:28,101 --> 00:32:31,476
-What you got goin' on?
-It's an emergency.
Get me the talcum powder!
771
00:32:31,559 --> 00:32:32,685
Leon:
Fuck!
772
00:32:33,434 --> 00:32:35,017
Who you tappin'?
773
00:32:35,101 --> 00:32:36,643
Cheryl.
774
00:32:37,101 --> 00:32:41,309
What? My man Larry David
re-tappin' that ass!
775
00:32:46,559 --> 00:32:47,893
Ooh.
776
00:32:49,059 --> 00:32:50,393
Ooh.
777
00:32:50,476 --> 00:32:52,476
-(Cheryl coughing)
-(Larry coughing)
778
00:32:52,559 --> 00:32:54,726
(huffing, coughing)
779
00:32:54,810 --> 00:32:57,851
(Cheryl gasps)
Did you powder down there?
780
00:32:57,935 --> 00:33:00,643
-No good?
-(coughs) I'm allergic.
781
00:33:00,726 --> 00:33:03,393
Oh! Oh, my God.
782
00:33:03,476 --> 00:33:05,434
-Oh, my God.
-(coughing)
783
00:33:05,518 --> 00:33:07,017
-Oh, my God.
-(gasping)
784
00:33:07,101 --> 00:33:09,601
-Oh! Call 9-1-1!
-(coughing)
785
00:33:09,685 --> 00:33:12,434
-Easy.
-(coughing)
786
00:33:12,726 --> 00:33:14,518
Hey. Jesus, slow down.
787
00:33:14,601 --> 00:33:17,393
-What happened?
-Oh, she, uh, swallowed
some talcum powder,
788
00:33:17,476 --> 00:33:19,351
and is having
an allergic reaction to it.
789
00:33:19,434 --> 00:33:20,768
Did she ingest anything else?
790
00:33:21,101 --> 00:33:22,601
(gasps)
791
00:33:22,893 --> 00:33:25,226
Kind of a personal question,
don't you think?
792
00:33:28,935 --> 00:33:30,434
So sorry!
793
00:33:32,726 --> 00:33:34,601
Oh, my God.
You look so much better.
794
00:33:34,685 --> 00:33:37,226
-Do I?
-Oh. (stammering)
Are you kidding?
795
00:33:37,309 --> 00:33:39,142
I couldn't even
look at you before.
I mean, it was...
796
00:33:39,226 --> 00:33:42,351
really, like, hideous.
You looked... disgusting.
797
00:33:42,434 --> 00:33:44,059
I could barely glance at you.
798
00:33:44,142 --> 00:33:45,685
Yeah, because of you.
799
00:33:45,768 --> 00:33:47,142
-Yeah.
-You're the one that
800
00:33:47,226 --> 00:33:49,184
put the talcum powder--
Uh, I'm allergic, and you--
801
00:33:49,267 --> 00:33:51,851
-It's because of you.
-Yeah. Yeah,
I'm sorry about that.
802
00:33:51,935 --> 00:33:53,976
Yeah. But you know,
I was thinking,
803
00:33:54,059 --> 00:33:56,851
if that happened
when we were married
and your face...
804
00:33:56,935 --> 00:33:59,393
for some reason,
stayed that way,
805
00:33:59,935 --> 00:34:01,518
what would I have done?
806
00:34:01,976 --> 00:34:03,726
What do you mean
what would you have done?
807
00:34:03,810 --> 00:34:06,726
Well, I mean,
could I have lived with you
looking like that?
808
00:34:06,810 --> 00:34:09,059
-You're such an asshole.
-(both laughing)
809
00:34:09,142 --> 00:34:12,434
You are such... I mean, I'm,
I'm fighting for my life,
810
00:34:12,518 --> 00:34:14,559
and this is what you're...
Susie?
811
00:34:14,643 --> 00:34:15,810
What are you guys doing here?
812
00:34:16,309 --> 00:34:17,851
What are you--
What are you doing here?
813
00:34:17,935 --> 00:34:20,226
Susie:
Randi had contractions,
and...
814
00:34:20,309 --> 00:34:22,726
She's walking around the halls
trying to induce,
815
00:34:22,810 --> 00:34:25,559
'cause nothing's happening,
so I thought I'd come
and keep her company.
816
00:34:25,643 --> 00:34:28,351
-Randi's here?
-Yeah. Cheryl, what happened?
817
00:34:28,434 --> 00:34:31,476
-She got stung by a wasp.
-I had an allergic reaction
to shellfish.
818
00:34:32,559 --> 00:34:33,893
Okay.
819
00:34:33,976 --> 00:34:37,351
I knew it.
I knew something was
going on with you two.
820
00:34:37,434 --> 00:34:38,726
I could smell it.
821
00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:40,893
That night at our house.
The ventriloquist.
822
00:34:40,976 --> 00:34:44,059
He drove you home.
Something's been going on here.
823
00:34:44,142 --> 00:34:45,685
I knew it. I knew it!
824
00:34:45,768 --> 00:34:47,810
Bravo!
825
00:34:47,893 --> 00:34:49,434
-Bravo, Poirot.
-(phone chimes)
826
00:34:49,518 --> 00:34:51,267
Cheryl:
Oh, no. Hey.
827
00:34:51,351 --> 00:34:55,434
-Ted is in the garage.
-Larry: What?
828
00:34:55,518 --> 00:34:57,309
-He's on his way up.
-Larry: What?
829
00:34:57,393 --> 00:34:58,601
You-- You can't be here.
830
00:34:58,685 --> 00:35:00,518
You better leave.
You better leave, Larry.
831
00:35:00,601 --> 00:35:02,267
How does he--
How does he know
you're in the hospital?
832
00:35:02,351 --> 00:35:03,768
Because he just flew in
from San Francisco
833
00:35:03,851 --> 00:35:05,184
and he texted me
when he landed. I...
834
00:35:05,267 --> 00:35:07,017
Because he's her
significant other,
835
00:35:07,101 --> 00:35:08,768
and you're her
significant nothing!
836
00:35:08,851 --> 00:35:11,226
-Just keep your
fuckin' trap shut!
-Susie: Go!
837
00:35:12,768 --> 00:35:13,726
Oh.
838
00:35:14,518 --> 00:35:16,476
-(Larry grunts)
-Hey!
839
00:35:16,851 --> 00:35:18,643
-(Larry grunts)
-Doctor: Just slow down!
840
00:35:19,184 --> 00:35:20,976
-Excuse me, sir!
-(Larry grunts)
841
00:35:23,017 --> 00:35:25,017
(Larry and Randi shriek)
842
00:35:26,101 --> 00:35:28,393
-God!
-Larry: Oh! Oh, my God!
843
00:35:28,476 --> 00:35:30,267
-Larry!
-You?
844
00:35:30,351 --> 00:35:33,142
Are you fucking kidding me,
you piece of shit?
845
00:35:33,226 --> 00:35:35,267
Okay, if anything
happens to this baby,
846
00:35:35,351 --> 00:35:36,768
it's gonna be your fault.
847
00:35:36,851 --> 00:35:38,643
Oh, please.
After what that fetus
has been through,
848
00:35:38,726 --> 00:35:40,184
this'll be a day
at the beach.
849
00:35:41,059 --> 00:35:42,726
Happy New Year!
850
00:35:43,518 --> 00:35:45,685
(theme music playing)
851
00:36:47,601 --> 00:36:48,601
LARRY DAVID:
It's a coffee place.
852
00:36:48,935 --> 00:36:50,476
I'm opening up a spite store
to take him out of business.
853
00:36:50,559 --> 00:36:52,935
I don't know what a spite store
is and I don't really care.
854
00:36:53,017 --> 00:36:54,059
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
855
00:36:54,142 --> 00:36:55,726
Can I give you a little tip?
856
00:36:55,810 --> 00:36:57,309
If you're gonna
confront somebody,
857
00:36:57,393 --> 00:36:59,101
better to do it with pants on.
858
00:36:59,184 --> 00:37:00,101
The shorts...
859
00:37:00,434 --> 00:37:02,768
It's hard to take a person
seriously wearing shorts.
860
00:37:02,851 --> 00:37:04,184
I wanna give you a heads up.
861
00:37:04,393 --> 00:37:05,726
Susie's birthday's
in about a week.
862
00:37:05,810 --> 00:37:07,768
I already got her something.
It's gonna be a nice surprise.
863
00:37:07,851 --> 00:37:08,810
What is it?
864
00:37:09,726 --> 00:37:10,893
JEFF GARLIN:
What were you thinking?
865
00:37:10,976 --> 00:37:12,101
I'm done with presents!
866
00:37:12,184 --> 00:37:13,351
My birthday's coming up
in a month.
867
00:37:13,434 --> 00:37:14,810
-What are you getting me?!
-Nothing!
868
00:37:14,893 --> 00:37:16,726
-Oh, thank you!
-You're welcome!
869
00:37:16,810 --> 00:37:17,601
(GROANS)
870
00:37:17,685 --> 00:37:19,685
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
67774
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