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1
00:00:04,617 --> 00:00:06,226
I've just received
the email about
2
00:00:06,286 --> 00:00:08,251
whether I've gotten the job
as commissioner.
3
00:00:08,715 --> 00:00:09,805
Well, from the look on my face,
4
00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:11,635
I'm sure you can guess
what it says.
5
00:00:12,143 --> 00:00:14,735
No. We have no idea
at all.
6
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,180
Just tell us, you monster.
7
00:00:16,245 --> 00:00:17,706
Really?
No one noticed the slight
8
00:00:17,771 --> 00:00:19,847
tension in my labial
commissure?
9
00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,674
- My lips. I'm smiling.
- Wait, you're smiling?
10
00:00:22,739 --> 00:00:24,213
Wait, we're allowed to
say "labia" again?
11
00:00:24,278 --> 00:00:25,557
- Wait, you got it?
- I got it.
12
00:00:25,622 --> 00:00:26,669
Ohh!
13
00:00:26,747 --> 00:00:28,956
- Labia.
- Commissioner Raymond Holt.
14
00:00:29,021 --> 00:00:30,922
- Labia.
- You gotta stop right now,
15
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:32,018
Hitchcock.
We need to celebrate.
16
00:00:32,083 --> 00:00:33,555
Ooh, we need music.
17
00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:36,526
Ooh-ohh, ohh, I brought a
"Jock Jams" CD for the wedding.
18
00:00:36,591 --> 00:00:37,932
Oh, we didn't talk about
that.
19
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:39,987
It was gonna be a surprise.
Our first dance was gonna be
20
00:00:40,052 --> 00:00:41,331
- the "Tootsee Roll."
- Oh, no,
21
00:00:41,396 --> 00:00:42,737
- and we didn't get to do it.
- I know.
22
00:00:42,802 --> 00:00:43,924
All right,
nobody move.
23
00:00:43,989 --> 00:00:45,613
I'm gonna go get
the CD.
24
00:00:46,208 --> 00:00:47,565
I want to thank you all.
25
00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:49,777
What an incredible moment.
26
00:00:49,888 --> 00:00:51,948
30 years of struggle and
sacrifice.
27
00:00:52,013 --> 00:00:54,331
But it was worth it,
because I finally get to read
28
00:00:54,396 --> 00:00:56,422
the ten words I've longed to
hear:
29
00:00:56,487 --> 00:00:59,542
"Raymond Holt,
you are not the"... oops.
30
00:00:59,607 --> 00:01:00,713
I misread the email.
31
00:01:00,778 --> 00:01:02,533
Didn't see the "not."
32
00:01:02,598 --> 00:01:03,729
So...
33
00:01:03,810 --> 00:01:06,940
I will not be the new
commissioner.
34
00:01:07,005 --> 00:01:08,876
♪ Y'all ready for this ♪
35
00:01:10,393 --> 00:01:12,121
Jock jam.
36
00:01:12,199 --> 00:01:13,841
Whoo.
37
00:01:15,390 --> 00:01:16,909
Why is on one else dancing?
38
00:01:16,974 --> 00:01:18,057
Did I miss something?
39
00:01:18,122 --> 00:01:19,615
Feels like
I missed something.
40
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,331
I'll just keep going until
someone tells me to...
41
00:01:21,396 --> 00:01:23,138
- Stop, Jake.
- All right.
42
00:01:23,270 --> 00:01:25,689
*BROOKLYN NINE-NINE*
Season 06 Episode 01
43
00:01:25,838 --> 00:01:28,744
*BROOKLYN NINE-NINE*
Episode Title: "Honeymoon"
44
00:01:39,863 --> 00:01:42,698
Sync corrections by srjanapala
45
00:01:43,221 --> 00:01:46,530
So Captain Holt is taking
another personal day.
46
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,494
In his absence, I will be
running things around here.
47
00:01:49,559 --> 00:01:50,697
That's not true.
I'm in charge.
48
00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:54,361
Mm, no, it's gonna be more of
a Westeros free-for-all, okay?
49
00:01:54,426 --> 00:01:55,244
Who will bend a knee?
50
00:01:55,309 --> 00:01:56,986
- I will.
- Nobody's bending anything.
51
00:01:57,051 --> 00:01:57,962
Let's get started.
52
00:01:58,027 --> 00:01:59,845
Sarge, is Captain Holt all right?
He never miss work.
53
00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:03,963
He said he was at a 49 and
improving at 8.6% a day.
54
00:02:04,067 --> 00:02:05,439
So I guess he'll be in soon.
55
00:02:05,504 --> 00:02:06,759
Now, we have.
56
00:02:06,824 --> 00:02:08,535
- Guess who just got paid, y'all.
- Two...
57
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:10,658
That's right. We got stacks on
stacks on stacks.
58
00:02:10,723 --> 00:02:12,259
Whoa. Where's all that cash
from?
59
00:02:12,324 --> 00:02:14,862
Well, my brilliant wife
found a crazy loophole
60
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:16,033
called "wedding insurance."
61
00:02:16,098 --> 00:02:17,068
It's very common.
62
00:02:17,133 --> 00:02:18,495
It's like renter's insurance.
63
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:19,556
Oh, my God.
Do we have that too?
64
00:02:19,621 --> 00:02:21,221
- Yes.
- You are a wizard.
65
00:02:21,346 --> 00:02:23,791
The point is, we are getting
refunded in full,
66
00:02:23,856 --> 00:02:26,798
so we are going on a
super-deluxe, five-star
67
00:02:26,863 --> 00:02:28,252
mega-baller honeymoon.
68
00:02:28,317 --> 00:02:30,201
So you're not just going to
the Berkshires anymore?
69
00:02:30,266 --> 00:02:31,340
Screw that crap hole.
70
00:02:31,405 --> 00:02:32,988
It's a dump, and anyone who
goes there is garbage.
71
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,209
I was gonna take Sharon there
for a romantic weekend.
72
00:02:35,274 --> 00:02:37,613
Oh, well, congratulations,
ya poor.
73
00:02:37,678 --> 00:02:39,475
I am so sorry.
Money really changes you.
74
00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:41,772
The resort is called
Posadita Bonita.
75
00:02:41,837 --> 00:02:43,044
And it's in Mexico.
76
00:02:43,109 --> 00:02:44,776
Great food, great beaches,
and when I say.
77
00:02:44,841 --> 00:02:46,122
"Ay caramba" there,
I'll fit right in.
78
00:02:46,187 --> 00:02:47,247
I don't think so.
79
00:02:47,312 --> 00:02:48,723
Isn't that the place that Gina
is always talking about,
80
00:02:48,788 --> 00:02:50,458
because she gets referral
rewards points?
81
00:02:50,523 --> 00:02:51,512
Why, yes, it is.
82
00:02:51,577 --> 00:02:54,036
Don't forget to use code GINA30
at checkout.
83
00:02:54,101 --> 00:02:56,150
It's super intimate
and super fancy.
84
00:02:56,215 --> 00:02:58,239
And when we're there,
there's only one rule.
85
00:02:58,304 --> 00:03:00,247
- A.B.C.
- A.B.C.
86
00:03:00,312 --> 00:03:01,653
Always be coconuting.
87
00:03:01,718 --> 00:03:04,248
At all times, we will either be
drinking from, eating,
88
00:03:04,331 --> 00:03:06,654
or wearing a coconut.
89
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,060
Oh, this place is amazing.
90
00:03:12,136 --> 00:03:13,684
I've never had sex outside the
United States.
91
00:03:13,749 --> 00:03:14,692
What are you thinking about?
92
00:03:14,757 --> 00:03:16,223
Weirdly, the same thing.
93
00:03:16,288 --> 00:03:17,716
- Whoa.
- Welcome to paradise.
94
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,349
Margarita?
Yes, I would love one.
95
00:03:19,519 --> 00:03:22,817
But is there any way you could
put it in a coconut?
96
00:03:22,882 --> 00:03:24,070
It will be my pleasure, sir.
97
00:03:24,135 --> 00:03:25,341
Oh, thank you.
98
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:27,555
I requested a ridiculous thing,
and he's doing it.
99
00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:29,450
Quick, think of more stupid
stuff we can ask for.
100
00:03:29,515 --> 00:03:30,989
Grapes.
Sorry, I panicked.
101
00:03:31,054 --> 00:03:32,036
And I couldn't think of
anything.
102
00:03:32,101 --> 00:03:33,419
No, no, no, grapes is
perfect.
103
00:03:33,484 --> 00:03:35,139
Excuse me, sir, is there any
way
104
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,637
you could get my wife some
grapes?
105
00:03:36,702 --> 00:03:38,161
- Yes, sir, right away.
- He's running.
106
00:03:38,226 --> 00:03:39,887
He's running for the grapes.
107
00:03:39,952 --> 00:03:41,010
Here are your drinks
108
00:03:41,075 --> 00:03:44,036
and a lovers' toolbox from a
Mr. Boyle.
109
00:03:44,101 --> 00:03:45,200
Ah, thank you so much.
110
00:03:45,265 --> 00:03:46,367
We will never open this.
111
00:03:46,432 --> 00:03:47,713
Oh, my God,
Jake, look.
112
00:03:47,778 --> 00:03:48,995
Yes, the grapes.
113
00:03:49,060 --> 00:03:50,136
Oh, and you brought cheese.
114
00:03:50,201 --> 00:03:51,259
I don't even want cheese.
115
00:03:51,324 --> 00:03:53,050
No, Jake, in the lounge.
116
00:03:53,907 --> 00:03:55,136
Captain Holt?
117
00:03:55,552 --> 00:03:56,865
Peralta?
118
00:03:57,339 --> 00:03:59,237
Ay caramba.
119
00:03:59,745 --> 00:04:01,839
Gina, what the hell?
120
00:04:01,904 --> 00:04:03,058
New phone, who dis?
121
00:04:03,123 --> 00:04:04,479
You can't do that in person.
122
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:05,949
It's Charles.
123
00:04:06,044 --> 00:04:07,555
Boyle. Your coworker.
124
00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:09,069
Oh, hey, Charles.
125
00:04:09,134 --> 00:04:11,344
I just found out that
your mom left my dad.
126
00:04:11,409 --> 00:04:12,554
They're getting divorced.
127
00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:13,851
Eh, they had a good run.
128
00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:15,757
Fun fact: The average American
marriage
129
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,509
lasts fewer than two days.
130
00:04:17,575 --> 00:04:19,126
- That's not true.
- It doesn't have to be.
131
00:04:19,191 --> 00:04:20,805
- It's commentary.
- Well, you know who didn't think
132
00:04:20,870 --> 00:04:21,883
it was a good run?
133
00:04:21,948 --> 00:04:23,329
My daddy, Lynn Boyle.
134
00:04:23,394 --> 00:04:25,735
- He's inconsolable.
- Well, I'm sure he'll get over it.
135
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,602
No, Boyles don't
"get over it."
136
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,044
It becomes part of us.
137
00:04:29,109 --> 00:04:31,343
It lives within us.
It eats us out.
138
00:04:31,408 --> 00:04:32,891
We have to get them back
together.
139
00:04:32,956 --> 00:04:34,318
- Pass.
- Well, I'm doing it with
140
00:04:34,383 --> 00:04:35,594
- or without your help.
- Okay, without.
141
00:04:35,659 --> 00:04:37,696
Okay, you called my bluff.
It has to be with your help.
142
00:04:37,761 --> 00:04:38,852
And I'm not taking no for an
answer.
143
00:04:38,917 --> 00:04:40,011
- No.
- Okay, you did it again.
144
00:04:40,076 --> 00:04:41,204
Why are you like this?
145
00:04:41,269 --> 00:04:42,751
I don't know.
146
00:04:43,390 --> 00:04:45,540
Hey, Sarge, I have a problem,
and I would ask Holt,
147
00:04:45,605 --> 00:04:48,586
- but since he's not back...
- You came to Top Dog Terry.
148
00:04:48,651 --> 00:04:49,839
Smart move.
149
00:04:49,904 --> 00:04:52,642
I've been solving problems
all day long.
150
00:04:53,489 --> 00:04:55,876
Okay, so you know that
meth case I've been working on
151
00:04:55,941 --> 00:04:57,102
for the last two months?
152
00:04:57,167 --> 00:04:58,984
The Department of Sanitation
police want to poach it
153
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,570
from me, because the drugs were
found in a dumpster.
154
00:05:00,635 --> 00:05:01,766
They're saying
it's garbage-related.
155
00:05:01,831 --> 00:05:02,860
This is an easy one.
156
00:05:02,925 --> 00:05:04,290
Tell them to screw off.
157
00:05:04,355 --> 00:05:06,650
See? Problem solved.
158
00:05:07,008 --> 00:05:08,969
Yeah, well, I did that,
and they threatened to make
159
00:05:09,034 --> 00:05:10,132
a formal complaint to the
mayor.
160
00:05:10,197 --> 00:05:11,641
Then just let them have the
case.
161
00:05:11,706 --> 00:05:13,439
Problem solved.
162
00:05:13,879 --> 00:05:15,821
Terry, I've been working
on it for two months,
163
00:05:15,886 --> 00:05:17,497
and those dummies are gonna
blow it.
164
00:05:17,573 --> 00:05:21,618
Right. Well, you could
partner up with sanitation.
165
00:05:21,683 --> 00:05:23,227
Problem solved? Woof-woof?
166
00:05:23,292 --> 00:05:24,615
Nope. Headquarters won't
allow it
167
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:25,900
due to budgetary reasons.
168
00:05:25,995 --> 00:05:27,797
Okay, okay,
okay, okay.
169
00:05:27,862 --> 00:05:29,964
You know, Captain Holt was
writing an instruction manual
170
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:32,010
for his replacement in case he
was named commissioner.
171
00:05:32,075 --> 00:05:33,089
Maybe he could tell you
what to do.
172
00:05:33,154 --> 00:05:34,426
That's not necessary.
173
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:36,558
Top Dog Terry can make
a decision.
174
00:05:36,623 --> 00:05:37,918
And what would that be?
175
00:05:40,269 --> 00:05:42,926
Does Top Dog Terry want a
moment to think about it?
176
00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:44,639
Woof-woof.
177
00:05:44,756 --> 00:05:47,268
Since the rejection,
a great sadness has enveloped me.
178
00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:49,441
I kept expecting this
dark feeling to pass,
179
00:05:49,506 --> 00:05:50,581
but it's only gotten worse.
180
00:05:50,646 --> 00:05:52,344
Not getting the job you want
stinks.
181
00:05:52,504 --> 00:05:55,002
In first grade, I was passed
over for line leader,
182
00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:56,113
and I'm still pissed.
183
00:05:56,178 --> 00:05:59,512
Kyle D.'s lines had curves
and gaps and cutting galore.
184
00:05:59,577 --> 00:06:00,885
It was a frickin' carnival.
185
00:06:00,956 --> 00:06:02,594
Yeah. What's a line leader?
186
00:06:02,659 --> 00:06:03,925
Well, it's not just that
I didn't get the job.
187
00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:05,427
It's that John Kelly did.
188
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,713
He's already released
a memo detailing his
189
00:06:07,778 --> 00:06:09,401
"vigilant policing"
initiative.
190
00:06:09,466 --> 00:06:11,332
It's essentially a return
to stop and frisk.
191
00:06:11,397 --> 00:06:15,066
Choosing him is a betrayal
of everything I stand for.
192
00:06:15,131 --> 00:06:16,761
I feel the same way about
Kyle D.
193
00:06:16,826 --> 00:06:18,667
I tried to suck it up and go
back to work.
194
00:06:18,732 --> 00:06:20,324
I put on my uniform
and got in my car.
195
00:06:20,389 --> 00:06:23,613
And next thing I knew, I was
on a plane to Mexico.
196
00:06:23,678 --> 00:06:24,910
I didn't even pack a bag.
197
00:06:24,975 --> 00:06:27,660
I bought a bundle of novelty
shirts at a nearby gift shop.
198
00:06:27,737 --> 00:06:29,686
This one says,
"What's up, beaches?"
199
00:06:29,751 --> 00:06:31,865
Instead of "bitches"
for humor reasons.
200
00:06:31,930 --> 00:06:34,607
- But you hate humor.
- Well, I'm a joke now,
201
00:06:34,672 --> 00:06:35,748
so it suits me.
202
00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:39,308
Mm-kay. But, how did
you end up here in Mexico
203
00:06:39,373 --> 00:06:41,552
at the exact same tiny resort
as us?
204
00:06:41,617 --> 00:06:43,404
Gina's been talking up
this place up for years.
205
00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:45,646
- Referral Code GINA30.
- Referral Code GINA30.
206
00:06:45,711 --> 00:06:47,900
I had no idea
you'd be here.
207
00:06:47,965 --> 00:06:49,329
You know what?
It's fine, sir.
208
00:06:49,394 --> 00:06:51,440
A lot of people go on their
honeymoon with their boss.
209
00:06:51,505 --> 00:06:52,824
Nope, I thought if I said it
out loud
210
00:06:52,889 --> 00:06:54,001
it would normalize it,
but it's weird.
211
00:06:54,066 --> 00:06:55,009
It's gonna be okay.
212
00:06:55,074 --> 00:06:56,126
How long are you staying, sir?
213
00:06:56,191 --> 00:06:57,962
Just until I get my head
right.
214
00:06:58,027 --> 00:07:00,415
But don't worry.
I'll steer clear of you two.
215
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:01,791
You won't even know I'm here.
216
00:07:02,418 --> 00:07:04,220
This place is so romantic.
217
00:07:04,285 --> 00:07:07,960
Yeah, and so... intimate.
218
00:07:08,025 --> 00:07:10,228
Don't worry.
I'm not listening to you.
219
00:07:10,293 --> 00:07:12,767
I'm just thinking about how
this sea bass is cold
220
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:15,366
but not as cold and cruel as
the hands of fate
221
00:07:15,431 --> 00:07:19,314
that have thrust my entire life
into darkness.
222
00:07:19,811 --> 00:07:21,095
Ah, damn it.
223
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,369
I just ordered the sea bass.
224
00:07:24,808 --> 00:07:27,073
Ahh, babe, this is so nice.
225
00:07:27,171 --> 00:07:28,739
There are hot stones on our
butts for no reason.
226
00:07:28,804 --> 00:07:29,572
Not on mine.
227
00:07:29,637 --> 00:07:31,766
My butt stones keep falling
off,
228
00:07:31,831 --> 00:07:33,176
because I'm so tense about
Holt being here
229
00:07:33,241 --> 00:07:34,317
and ruining everything.
230
00:07:34,382 --> 00:07:36,704
- It hasn't been that bad.
- Really?
231
00:07:37,687 --> 00:07:39,458
Oops. Sorry.
232
00:07:39,523 --> 00:07:41,130
Can't even float right.
233
00:07:41,308 --> 00:07:42,614
Just push me away.
234
00:07:42,701 --> 00:07:43,981
Everyone else does.
235
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:47,903
It's not great, but as long
as we stay in here, we're safe.
236
00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:49,860
Peralta, Santiago,
I'm in your room.
237
00:07:49,925 --> 00:07:51,202
What? How?
238
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:52,848
Patio door was open
I pushed through the hedge.
239
00:07:52,913 --> 00:07:54,364
Tell me,
what is it about me
240
00:07:54,429 --> 00:07:56,215
that screams loser?
241
00:07:56,287 --> 00:07:58,231
Yeah, you know,
we're kind of in the middle
242
00:07:58,296 --> 00:07:59,832
of getting massages right now,
sir.
243
00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:00,983
Oh, how thoughtless of me.
244
00:08:01,249 --> 00:08:02,746
I'll get down here so you can
see my face.
245
00:08:02,811 --> 00:08:04,248
Oh, no, that's...
246
00:08:04,331 --> 00:08:07,477
Hello. The question
was, what is it about me
247
00:08:07,542 --> 00:08:10,841
that screams loser?
248
00:08:11,265 --> 00:08:13,958
I can't figure out what went
wrong between our parents.
249
00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:15,075
They were so in love.
250
00:08:15,140 --> 00:08:17,083
Oh, okay, so we're having
a conversation?
251
00:08:17,186 --> 00:08:18,277
No, to get them back
together,
252
00:08:18,342 --> 00:08:19,879
we need to know what happened.
Did your mom tell you?
253
00:08:19,944 --> 00:08:21,059
- Nope.
- Damn it. Okay,
254
00:08:21,124 --> 00:08:22,387
let's brainstorm.
It could be
255
00:08:22,452 --> 00:08:24,364
that my dad is too
clingy or too masculine.
256
00:08:24,429 --> 00:08:26,309
You know what? I'm going
to play a game on my phone
257
00:08:26,374 --> 00:08:27,856
while you go on this
little journey.
258
00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:30,262
He overshares,
he's indecisive,
259
00:08:30,327 --> 00:08:31,569
- he's always crying.
- Oh,
260
00:08:31,634 --> 00:08:32,757
I made it inside the temple.
261
00:08:32,822 --> 00:08:34,156
He wears a kimono a lot.
262
00:08:34,221 --> 00:08:35,710
I became a hawk.
I have talons.
263
00:08:35,775 --> 00:08:36,773
Well, he can't keep a secret.
264
00:08:36,838 --> 00:08:38,171
He has a clinically loose
pelvis.
265
00:08:38,236 --> 00:08:40,679
Okay, that did break through.
I heard "loose pelvis."
266
00:08:40,744 --> 00:08:41,961
Charles, you've got to stop.
267
00:08:42,041 --> 00:08:43,085
It's none of those things.
268
00:08:43,150 --> 00:08:44,843
Wait. You said your
mom didn't tell you anything.
269
00:08:44,908 --> 00:08:46,351
- Do you know what happened?
- Yes, I do.
270
00:08:46,416 --> 00:08:48,163
And it's none of your business,
Charles.
271
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:50,312
Just stop sticking your nose
where it doesn't belong.
272
00:08:50,377 --> 00:08:51,390
Really, Gina.
273
00:08:51,455 --> 00:08:54,547
And where does my nose belong
if not inside our parents?
274
00:08:54,991 --> 00:08:56,976
Okay, so we can get away
from Holt.
275
00:08:57,041 --> 00:08:58,148
I mean, should we tell him to
leave,
276
00:08:58,213 --> 00:09:00,124
- that he's ruining our honeymoon?
- No, we can't.
277
00:09:00,189 --> 00:09:03,031
That would crush him, and
he's already so crushed.
278
00:09:03,448 --> 00:09:04,810
Wait, I got it.
279
00:09:04,875 --> 00:09:06,093
We kill Holt.
280
00:09:06,158 --> 00:09:07,491
- No.
- No,
281
00:09:07,556 --> 00:09:09,585
that was crazy for a
multitude of reasons.
282
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,507
We have a bunch of fun
activities planned.
283
00:09:11,572 --> 00:09:14,695
If we include him, it'll cheer
him up, and he'll leave.
284
00:09:14,791 --> 00:09:17,163
Right, but aren't most
of our activities
285
00:09:17,228 --> 00:09:18,514
kind of geared
towards couples?
286
00:09:18,579 --> 00:09:20,874
Name one couples' activity
that wouldn't be more fun
287
00:09:20,939 --> 00:09:21,843
with your boss there.
288
00:09:21,908 --> 00:09:24,046
Welcome to Sensual Food
Tasting:
289
00:09:24,111 --> 00:09:26,116
The Art of Feeding Your Lover.
290
00:09:26,181 --> 00:09:27,577
I feel like I don't
belong here.
291
00:09:27,642 --> 00:09:30,897
Mm, I love how the mud
revitalizes your skin.
292
00:09:30,963 --> 00:09:33,444
And I love
how it masks my shame.
293
00:09:33,509 --> 00:09:35,347
I am loving this.
294
00:09:35,422 --> 00:09:37,304
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
295
00:09:37,391 --> 00:09:38,610
Mmm.
296
00:09:39,088 --> 00:09:40,664
This is actually quite
pleasant.
297
00:09:40,791 --> 00:09:43,116
You know, when you invited
me to join you today,
298
00:09:43,181 --> 00:09:44,249
I was skeptical.
299
00:09:44,314 --> 00:09:45,912
I had been
sitting by the pool
300
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,905
contentedly watching a bee
struggle to avoid drowning
301
00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:51,616
and thinking to myself
how I am like that bee.
302
00:09:51,681 --> 00:09:52,687
Man, I hope it survived.
303
00:09:52,752 --> 00:09:53,874
We can't afford to lose
any more bees.
304
00:09:53,939 --> 00:09:55,795
It didn't.
The point is that I am glad
305
00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:57,733
you included me into
your frivolous activities.
306
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,624
You helped me to remember
there's more to life
307
00:09:59,689 --> 00:10:00,772
than the NYPD.
308
00:10:00,837 --> 00:10:02,944
Wow, that's great to hear,
sir.
309
00:10:03,009 --> 00:10:04,038
I feel a lot better.
310
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:05,272
I think I may be
heading home.
311
00:10:05,337 --> 00:10:07,554
Unless you need a third
for tonight's activities.
312
00:10:07,628 --> 00:10:09,170
- What are we...
- Sensual pottery.
313
00:10:09,235 --> 00:10:10,498
I think we're good.
314
00:10:10,563 --> 00:10:12,293
Sarge, I keep getting calls
about my drug case from...
315
00:10:12,358 --> 00:10:13,720
What the hell is going on?
316
00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:16,108
Nothing. Just deciding
what to do about
317
00:10:16,173 --> 00:10:18,709
your sanitation issue,
like a boss.
318
00:10:18,774 --> 00:10:20,225
You're looking for Captain
Holt's manual aren't you?
319
00:10:20,290 --> 00:10:21,202
Please, Diaz.
320
00:10:21,267 --> 00:10:24,241
Top Dog Terry does not need to
look for Captain Holt's manual.
321
00:10:24,738 --> 00:10:26,016
He knows it's on his computer.
322
00:10:26,081 --> 00:10:27,983
Top Dog Terry was looking for
the password.
323
00:10:28,048 --> 00:10:29,952
Why don't you just
make your own decision?
324
00:10:30,017 --> 00:10:31,999
I did that, and I'm
very proud of it.
325
00:10:32,071 --> 00:10:33,748
I just want to make sure
Captain Holt would make
326
00:10:33,813 --> 00:10:35,874
the same decision so I can be
proud of him too.
327
00:10:35,962 --> 00:10:38,288
Gina. Do you know
Captain Holt's password?
328
00:10:38,353 --> 00:10:40,881
Oh, Terry, just because
I know all your passwords
329
00:10:40,946 --> 00:10:42,545
doesn't mean I know
Captain Holt's.
330
00:10:42,610 --> 00:10:44,123
Okay, well, we could probably
guess it.
331
00:10:44,188 --> 00:10:47,037
Why don't you try
BaldByChoice or PecMan
332
00:10:47,102 --> 00:10:48,975
or MacklemoreEnthusiast?
333
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,662
Stop saying my passwords.
Damn, Gina.
334
00:10:51,727 --> 00:10:53,295
Now Terry's got to update
his keychain.
335
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,209
Start simple.
Kevin with a capital K
336
00:10:55,274 --> 00:10:56,194
and a 1 instead of an I.
337
00:10:56,259 --> 00:10:57,827
Oh, I feel good about that.
338
00:11:00,407 --> 00:11:02,803
Locked out?
Too many failed attempts?
339
00:11:02,868 --> 00:11:04,265
I only guessed once.
340
00:11:04,815 --> 00:11:07,975
Computer will now delete hard
drive?
341
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,651
I've got to fix this.
342
00:11:11,665 --> 00:11:13,210
Good. You fixed it.
343
00:11:13,275 --> 00:11:14,799
He's leaving.
Our plan worked.
344
00:11:14,869 --> 00:11:16,647
We saved our own honeymoon,
and fun bonus,
345
00:11:16,712 --> 00:11:17,983
- we cheered up Holt.
- Yes.
346
00:11:18,048 --> 00:11:19,709
Okay, it's time to celebrate.
347
00:11:19,774 --> 00:11:20,941
You know
what that means.
348
00:11:21,006 --> 00:11:23,053
This B needs
a C in her A.
349
00:11:23,126 --> 00:11:24,303
Oh, my God.
350
00:11:24,368 --> 00:11:26,202
This babe needs a coconut in
her arms.
351
00:11:26,267 --> 00:11:28,841
Oh, I thought you
were saying
352
00:11:28,915 --> 00:11:30,428
this ♪♪♪ needs ♪♪♪ a
in her.
353
00:11:30,493 --> 00:11:31,952
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, that was my reaction.
354
00:11:32,017 --> 00:11:33,827
All right, I'll go get us a
couple of coconuts.
355
00:11:33,892 --> 00:11:35,444
Ahh, hey there, Captain.
356
00:11:35,509 --> 00:11:37,334
Haven't seen you looking this
happy since they picked up.
357
00:11:37,399 --> 00:11:39,092
"The Durrells in Corfu"
for a fourth season.
358
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:41,604
Yes, well, I've reached the
best part of every vacation:
359
00:11:41,669 --> 00:11:42,826
reviewing the charges.
360
00:11:42,891 --> 00:11:44,561
Well, don't let me interrupt.
Have a safe flight.
361
00:11:44,626 --> 00:11:45,866
And I'll see you back at the
Nine-Nine.
362
00:11:45,931 --> 00:11:47,866
No, you won't; I'll never be
going back there again.
363
00:11:47,931 --> 00:11:49,928
What? Why?
I'm confused.
364
00:11:49,993 --> 00:11:52,373
You and Amy made me see that
there's more to life
365
00:11:52,438 --> 00:11:55,374
than the NYPD,
so I'm quitting.
366
00:11:55,672 --> 00:11:57,157
Oh.
367
00:11:57,597 --> 00:12:01,710
Well...
what a satisfying result
368
00:12:01,916 --> 00:12:05,069
that we all were hoping would
occur.
369
00:12:06,915 --> 00:12:08,881
Hold on. So let's just back
up a second.
370
00:12:08,946 --> 00:12:10,622
When you say you're quitting,
you mean quitting
371
00:12:10,687 --> 00:12:12,334
for, like, a couple of weeks,
and then you'll come back
372
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,756
Jordan-style with a new badge
number?
373
00:12:13,821 --> 00:12:15,273
No, I mean, quitting
permanently,
374
00:12:15,352 --> 00:12:17,561
I'm putting in my resignation
as soon as I get back home.
375
00:12:17,626 --> 00:12:19,232
I better hurry if I want to be
at the airport
376
00:12:19,297 --> 00:12:20,749
six hours ahead of my flight.
377
00:12:20,814 --> 00:12:21,880
Hey, you know what?
378
00:12:21,945 --> 00:12:22,982
I should drive you there.
379
00:12:23,047 --> 00:12:24,626
Will you come with me to grab
my keys from the room?
380
00:12:24,691 --> 00:12:28,835
Okay, they're just right in
here, so...
381
00:12:31,019 --> 00:12:32,076
You're not leaving this room.
382
00:12:32,141 --> 00:12:33,578
What the hell is going on?
383
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:34,654
I can't let you quit.
384
00:12:34,719 --> 00:12:37,702
Yes, but why the candles
and rose petals?
385
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,554
- Wuh-oh.
- Is that Mr. McClane I hear?
386
00:12:40,673 --> 00:12:44,720
'Cause someone's about to Die
Harrr... oh, my God.
387
00:12:44,785 --> 00:12:45,795
Why is Captain Holt here?
388
00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:47,920
Because he's gonna... wait,
are you dressed like
389
00:12:47,985 --> 00:12:49,139
Bonnie Bedelia in "Die Hard?"
390
00:12:49,204 --> 00:12:50,514
- I am.
- For sexy reasons?
391
00:12:50,579 --> 00:12:52,085
- Yes.
- Oh, boy.
392
00:12:52,150 --> 00:12:53,279
Jake, why is he here?
393
00:12:53,344 --> 00:12:54,490
Because he's quitting the
force,
394
00:12:54,555 --> 00:12:55,989
so I brought him
to convince him not to,
395
00:12:56,054 --> 00:12:57,592
but obviously
that is not important anymore.
396
00:12:57,657 --> 00:12:59,193
All right, Captain, it's been a
good run.
397
00:12:59,258 --> 00:13:00,306
Thank you for teaching me the
importance of a tie
398
00:13:00,371 --> 00:13:01,678
in the workplace, and the door
is right over here.
399
00:13:01,743 --> 00:13:03,865
Whoa, whoa, wait. What?
You're quitting?
400
00:13:03,930 --> 00:13:05,920
- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.
401
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:07,248
We're keeping you
right here.
402
00:13:07,313 --> 00:13:09,218
How are you going to do that?
Physically restrain me?
403
00:13:09,283 --> 00:13:10,045
Great idea.
404
00:13:10,110 --> 00:13:11,891
Is there anything in Charles'
box of nightmares
405
00:13:11,956 --> 00:13:13,475
that could be used to tie up
Holt?
406
00:13:14,493 --> 00:13:16,520
Yes. Literally everything in
here could be used
407
00:13:16,585 --> 00:13:17,858
to tie up a person.
408
00:13:17,929 --> 00:13:20,685
Wow, Terry, put Captain
Holt's computer back together?
409
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,135
- Looks great.
- Sure did.
410
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,450
Couldn't find room inside for
this stuff, though.
411
00:13:24,515 --> 00:13:26,560
Well, is there any chance
the info on in computer
412
00:13:26,625 --> 00:13:28,435
was maybe saved to the cloud?
413
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:29,459
I don't know.
414
00:13:29,524 --> 00:13:32,467
Gina, was Captain Holt's hard
drive backed up to the cloud?
415
00:13:32,532 --> 00:13:34,350
- Yeah.
- Then why did you let me try
416
00:13:34,415 --> 00:13:35,365
to rebuild his computer?
417
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:36,703
Because I'm a rascal.
418
00:13:36,844 --> 00:13:40,600
Okay, so I just log
onto the cloud as Captain Holt
419
00:13:40,665 --> 00:13:43,311
and click "forgot password"
420
00:13:43,399 --> 00:13:45,306
and answer his security
questions.
421
00:13:45,371 --> 00:13:47,639
First up: What is God?
422
00:13:48,681 --> 00:13:49,704
Hey, Gina.
423
00:13:49,782 --> 00:13:51,764
Did you see "Real Housewives"
last night?
424
00:13:51,866 --> 00:13:54,162
If she says no, then ask about
"Below Deck."
425
00:13:54,227 --> 00:13:55,310
What are you doing?
426
00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:57,178
She's getting suspicious,
Scully. Act natural.
427
00:13:57,243 --> 00:13:58,303
Are you wearing
an earpiece?
428
00:13:58,368 --> 00:14:00,771
Tell her no. Scully,
stop saying what I'm saying.
429
00:14:00,836 --> 00:14:02,211
Be normal.
430
00:14:02,597 --> 00:14:03,928
Charles, what are you doing?
431
00:14:03,993 --> 00:14:04,926
Damn it, Gina.
432
00:14:04,991 --> 00:14:06,162
What does it look like I'm
doing?
433
00:14:06,227 --> 00:14:08,639
I'm trying to unlock your phone
using a mask of your face
434
00:14:08,704 --> 00:14:10,662
so I can find out why your mom
left my dad.
435
00:14:10,727 --> 00:14:12,271
Charles, give me my phone.
436
00:14:12,336 --> 00:14:13,772
Okay, fine.
437
00:14:14,805 --> 00:14:17,004
- Boom, unlocked it.
- Give me my phone, Charles.
438
00:14:17,110 --> 00:14:19,381
Not until I find out or
parents are breaking up.
439
00:14:19,446 --> 00:14:20,550
- Give it.
- Scrolling, scrolling.
440
00:14:20,615 --> 00:14:22,412
- Give me my phone, you idiot.
- You were the reason.
441
00:14:22,477 --> 00:14:24,818
You sent her a text that says,
"You should divorce him"?
442
00:14:24,883 --> 00:14:26,709
Okay, yeah, but that's open
to interpretation.
443
00:14:26,774 --> 00:14:28,615
No, but then she says,
"I don't want to,"
444
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:29,994
and then you say,
"But you have to."
445
00:14:30,059 --> 00:14:31,691
"Leave him now,
and divorce him.
446
00:14:31,756 --> 00:14:33,171
Don't tell him why."
447
00:14:33,236 --> 00:14:35,822
Okay, yeah,
you did interpret it correctly.
448
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:39,776
Shame, shame.
449
00:14:39,895 --> 00:14:41,595
I'm so sorry
I brought Holt back here.
450
00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:43,580
I had no idea you were doing
this whole "Die Hard" thing.
451
00:14:43,645 --> 00:14:45,353
Man, you really got the hair
exactly right.
452
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,447
Did you contact the onset hair
stylist, Paul Abascal?
453
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:48,642
No, this is a wig.
454
00:14:48,707 --> 00:14:50,384
Oh, that's cool too.
So here's what I'm thinking.
455
00:14:50,449 --> 00:14:51,798
We let Holt go,
I have sex with
456
00:14:51,863 --> 00:14:52,759
Holly Gennaro but hotter.
457
00:14:52,824 --> 00:14:55,181
The squad handles the captain,
or disbands, whatever,
458
00:14:55,246 --> 00:14:56,236
we have sex again...
459
00:14:56,301 --> 00:14:58,392
Okay, stop suggesting that.
We need to stay focused.
460
00:14:58,457 --> 00:14:59,901
- Right.
- Holt is fragile.
461
00:14:59,988 --> 00:15:01,400
We need to be gentle, okay?
462
00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:02,962
- Just follow my lead.
- With pleasure.
463
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,416
I love the view.
I'm sorry.
464
00:15:04,481 --> 00:15:06,358
This outfit is driving me
insane.
465
00:15:06,457 --> 00:15:09,681
Hello, sir. Sorry again for
tying you spread eagle
466
00:15:09,746 --> 00:15:12,015
on the bed.
Apology not accepted.
467
00:15:12,090 --> 00:15:14,728
Look, I know you're upset,
but this isn't
468
00:15:14,793 --> 00:15:16,611
your last chance to become
commissioner.
469
00:15:16,676 --> 00:15:17,752
John Kelly's old.
470
00:15:17,824 --> 00:15:19,189
He's not gonna be in office
forever.
471
00:15:19,254 --> 00:15:20,861
True, but he'll just
be replaced by another
472
00:15:20,926 --> 00:15:22,189
mediocre old white man.
473
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,340
Nothing will ever change.
474
00:15:23,405 --> 00:15:25,658
All right, well,
what about all your goals
475
00:15:25,723 --> 00:15:27,087
for the Nine-Nine?
You still have
476
00:15:27,152 --> 00:15:28,336
so much left to
accomplish.
477
00:15:28,402 --> 00:15:29,744
Wrong,
I've accomplished everything
478
00:15:29,809 --> 00:15:30,861
that I set out to do.
479
00:15:30,926 --> 00:15:32,697
I wanted to reduce crime,
and I did.
480
00:15:32,762 --> 00:15:34,345
There's no crime in Brooklyn
anymore.
481
00:15:34,410 --> 00:15:35,572
Seems like a bit of a
stretch.
482
00:15:35,637 --> 00:15:37,369
What about improving
community relations?
483
00:15:37,465 --> 00:15:39,298
Done.
Everyone loves the police.
484
00:15:39,363 --> 00:15:40,837
It's embarrassing.
Way off. All right, Ame,
485
00:15:40,902 --> 00:15:42,017
step
aside; I got this.
486
00:15:42,082 --> 00:15:44,111
Captain, what about the
Halloween Heist?
487
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:46,166
I'll just come in and win it
and then go back to my house.
488
00:15:46,231 --> 00:15:47,642
- Damn it. I'm out.
- Jake.
489
00:15:47,707 --> 00:15:50,134
All right, fine, sir, do you
know why I love coming to work?
490
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,830
Because there's a bumper
pool table in the break room.
491
00:15:51,895 --> 00:15:53,837
Yes, obviously I love
the bumper pool table.
492
00:15:53,902 --> 00:15:56,062
But do you want to know
another reason why?
493
00:15:56,127 --> 00:15:57,356
You.
494
00:15:57,548 --> 00:15:59,119
You've made me a better cop.
495
00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:00,369
You've made me a better person.
496
00:16:00,434 --> 00:16:02,416
I've learned
so much from you.
497
00:16:02,543 --> 00:16:04,338
So you can't quit.
498
00:16:04,632 --> 00:16:06,502
Because I need you.
499
00:16:07,278 --> 00:16:10,048
- Oh, please. How selfish.
- What?
500
00:16:10,113 --> 00:16:11,392
That little speech you just
gave.
501
00:16:11,457 --> 00:16:13,392
It was all about you and
what you need.
502
00:16:13,457 --> 00:16:15,134
How unbelievably selfish.
503
00:16:15,199 --> 00:16:17,531
Okay, well, I don't want
to get mad right now,
504
00:16:17,596 --> 00:16:18,931
'cause Amy is worried
about you, so...
505
00:16:18,996 --> 00:16:20,800
Oh! No, screw that noise.
506
00:16:20,865 --> 00:16:23,111
How dare you call Jake
selfish?
507
00:16:23,176 --> 00:16:25,127
He just wasted his entire
honeymoon
508
00:16:25,199 --> 00:16:27,150
trying to take care of you
while you wallowed
509
00:16:27,215 --> 00:16:28,994
in your misery like a little
baby.
510
00:16:29,059 --> 00:16:30,979
- That seems a little harsh.
- Oh, does it?
511
00:16:31,059 --> 00:16:32,574
I don't give a hoot.
Oh, damn.
512
00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:35,002
For the last five years,
all I've done is
513
00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:37,775
give a hoot about you
and what you think.
514
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,407
I gave a hoot about
you as a boss.
515
00:16:39,488 --> 00:16:41,018
I gave a hoot about
you as a mentor.
516
00:16:41,090 --> 00:16:42,924
I gave a hoot about
you as a friend.
517
00:16:42,996 --> 00:16:44,456
She gave so many hoots.
518
00:16:44,527 --> 00:16:46,611
Not anymore.
After the way you've acted
519
00:16:46,676 --> 00:16:49,111
and what you just said to
Jake, I don't give a hoot,
520
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,064
what you think,
and I really don't
521
00:16:51,129 --> 00:16:54,244
give a hoot if you decide
to quit the NYPD, so do it.
522
00:16:54,331 --> 00:16:55,591
I'm all out of hoots.
523
00:16:55,656 --> 00:16:57,119
I'm hootless.
524
00:16:58,128 --> 00:17:00,044
- Now, what I want to say is...
- Jake.
525
00:17:00,122 --> 00:17:01,822
Coming Holly Gennaro.
526
00:17:04,074 --> 00:17:06,485
Hey, I thought piña coladas
might be too festive,
527
00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:09,204
so I got two super-depressing
coconuts filled with merlot.
528
00:17:09,269 --> 00:17:11,462
I'm not depressed.
I'm relieved.
529
00:17:11,527 --> 00:17:14,282
For the first time all week,
it's just the two of us.
530
00:17:14,347 --> 00:17:15,462
I'm right here.
531
00:17:15,527 --> 00:17:18,111
I escaped using some of the
lube Boyle sent you.
532
00:17:18,176 --> 00:17:19,415
It got everywhere.
I had to change.
533
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:22,540
Yeah, and your new shirt is
very aggressive and confusing.
534
00:17:22,605 --> 00:17:23,712
Is the pineapple the slut,
535
00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,056
or is it calling someone else a
slut?
536
00:17:25,121 --> 00:17:26,930
Clearly the pineapple is the
slut.
537
00:17:26,995 --> 00:17:28,290
- Huh.
- Look, I wanted to say
538
00:17:28,355 --> 00:17:29,423
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah?
539
00:17:29,488 --> 00:17:31,242
Maybe find someone who gives a
hoot.
540
00:17:31,307 --> 00:17:32,641
Try an owl cage.
541
00:17:32,706 --> 00:17:35,058
Oh, honey, I love you,
but not your best.
542
00:17:35,516 --> 00:17:37,792
Look, you have every right
not to accept my apology,
543
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,744
but at least hear it first.
544
00:17:39,909 --> 00:17:41,780
I'm sorry
I said Jake was selfish.
545
00:17:41,845 --> 00:17:43,511
I'm sorry I ruined your
honeymoon.
546
00:17:43,576 --> 00:17:46,352
I'm sorry I interrupted your
"Die Hard" themed sexcapades.
547
00:17:46,417 --> 00:17:49,032
You don't have to
list everything; it's cool.
548
00:17:49,097 --> 00:17:52,196
Right. I thought if
I played by the NYPD's rules
549
00:17:52,261 --> 00:17:54,669
and didn't make any waves,
one day I would rise to a position
550
00:17:54,734 --> 00:17:56,298
where I could make meaningful
change.
551
00:17:56,363 --> 00:17:59,454
When they hired John Kelly,
I realized I was wrong,
552
00:17:59,519 --> 00:18:01,322
and I thought
I was out of options.
553
00:18:01,409 --> 00:18:03,555
But then you tied me
to your bed, legs akimbo,
554
00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:06,805
and made me realize
there was another way.
555
00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:09,418
I could not
give a hoot.
556
00:18:09,483 --> 00:18:10,780
Wow, the hoot thing
is catching on.
557
00:18:10,845 --> 00:18:12,565
- Didn't see that coming.
- I'm going to go directly
558
00:18:12,630 --> 00:18:13,852
to the mayor
and tell him
559
00:18:13,917 --> 00:18:16,323
John Kelly's
"vigilant policing" proposal
560
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:18,043
is regressive and
counter-productive,
561
00:18:18,296 --> 00:18:20,407
and if he implements it,
I'm gonna make
562
00:18:20,472 --> 00:18:21,423
a big stink in the press.
563
00:18:21,488 --> 00:18:24,196
Going over the commissioner
and threatening the mayor, sir?
564
00:18:24,261 --> 00:18:25,438
Don't you think that'll
piss him off?
565
00:18:25,503 --> 00:18:28,001
I don't give a hoot.
566
00:18:28,297 --> 00:18:30,126
Listen, I'm on the next plane
back,
567
00:18:30,191 --> 00:18:32,250
but I wanted to pay for you two
to extend your stay
568
00:18:32,315 --> 00:18:34,290
so you can have a proper
honeymoon.
569
00:18:34,355 --> 00:18:36,352
Oh, sir, thank you.
570
00:18:36,417 --> 00:18:37,977
That's very nice,
right, Jake?
571
00:18:38,042 --> 00:18:38,954
Yeah, super cool.
572
00:18:39,019 --> 00:18:40,813
Just out of curiosity asking
for a friend,
573
00:18:40,878 --> 00:18:42,984
where did you get the shirt,
and how much did it cost?
574
00:18:43,049 --> 00:18:45,195
Ooh, you're still wearing the
mask?
575
00:18:45,260 --> 00:18:47,962
Yeah, to hide my sadness.
I'll take it off.
576
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,167
No, don't.
577
00:18:49,245 --> 00:18:51,563
For some reason, it's easier to
care about what you say
578
00:18:51,628 --> 00:18:52,594
when you look like me.
579
00:18:52,659 --> 00:18:54,852
Why did you tell your
mom to leave my dad, Gina?
580
00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:56,618
Is it so bad being a Boyle?
581
00:18:56,683 --> 00:18:59,655
Yes, it terrible,
but that's not why I did it.
582
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,555
My mom was cheating
on your dad,
583
00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:03,199
so I told her
she had to break it off.
584
00:19:03,264 --> 00:19:04,555
What? Why didn't you tell me?
585
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:06,373
Because I didn't want
to hurt you or him.
586
00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:09,062
She was being disgusting,
so I told her she had to end it.
587
00:19:09,127 --> 00:19:10,313
You were trying to protect
us.
588
00:19:10,378 --> 00:19:11,774
Gina, you were actually being
sweet.
589
00:19:11,839 --> 00:19:13,597
Uh-doi.
590
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,416
- How's it going, Sarge?
- Not good.
591
00:19:16,481 --> 00:19:18,539
I'm reading this book on
religion, and apparently
592
00:19:18,604 --> 00:19:20,039
there's some debate
as to what God is.
593
00:19:20,104 --> 00:19:21,188
Don't worry about it.
594
00:19:21,253 --> 00:19:22,602
- Gina had the manual.
- What?
595
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:25,173
- Why didn't she just give it to me?
- 'Cause she's a rascal.
596
00:19:25,339 --> 00:19:26,657
Look at what it says.
597
00:19:27,212 --> 00:19:29,564
"Never use italics, lest
people think you are
598
00:19:29,674 --> 00:19:31,111
a con-man or a clown."
599
00:19:31,251 --> 00:19:32,796
I'm not sure
how this applies here.
600
00:19:32,861 --> 00:19:33,921
No. Under that.
601
00:19:33,986 --> 00:19:36,855
"If you are unsure
of what to do in any situation,
602
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,628
consult Sergeant Jeffords."
603
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,644
I trust him completely."
604
00:19:41,958 --> 00:19:43,451
Well, that's a
kick in the butt.
605
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,670
So what should I do, Sarge?
606
00:19:46,466 --> 00:19:48,632
Tell sanitation you'll
work the case together.
607
00:19:48,697 --> 00:19:51,083
You're the primary, and HQ can
take it out
608
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,185
of the supplemental budget.
609
00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:53,818
- I'll find the room.
- Cool.
610
00:19:53,945 --> 00:19:55,451
Top Dog Terry's back.
611
00:19:57,945 --> 00:19:59,013
Okay, you ready?
612
00:19:59,078 --> 00:20:00,305
Mm-hmm.
613
00:20:01,663 --> 00:20:02,830
Hello.
614
00:20:02,908 --> 00:20:04,318
Oh, my God.
615
00:20:04,502 --> 00:20:05,722
Are you Melvil Dewey?
616
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,162
Indeed I am.
617
00:20:07,227 --> 00:20:09,412
I invented the Dewey decimal
system,
618
00:20:09,496 --> 00:20:13,396
but right now I'm working on
the Do-me decimal system.
619
00:20:13,461 --> 00:20:14,519
Mm-hmm, yeah.
620
00:20:14,584 --> 00:20:15,696
This is really working for me.
621
00:20:15,761 --> 00:20:16,685
- Really?
- Yeah.
622
00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:18,449
- Awesome.
- So, Mr. Dewey,
623
00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:21,018
can you save me from the
terrorists that have taken over.
624
00:20:21,083 --> 00:20:22,108
Nakatomi Plaza?
625
00:20:22,173 --> 00:20:23,682
Yes, Holly Gennaro,
626
00:20:23,747 --> 00:20:28,704
I just need file them in the
library... card... catalog.
627
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:29,971
Yeah, this is really hard to
track.
628
00:20:30,036 --> 00:20:31,048
Let's just take our clothes
off.
629
00:20:31,113 --> 00:20:32,470
Oh, thank God.
This old jacket is so hot.
630
00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:33,797
Yeah.
631
00:20:33,875 --> 00:20:35,244
That was magical.
632
00:20:35,324 --> 00:20:37,419
- I can't believe we're back.
- I refuse to accept it.
633
00:20:37,484 --> 00:20:38,829
I'm still coconuting.
634
00:20:38,894 --> 00:20:40,126
This is filled with coffee.
635
00:20:40,191 --> 00:20:41,308
It is very hot.
636
00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:42,908
Coconut is not a good
insulator.
637
00:20:42,973 --> 00:20:44,346
No, it's not.
638
00:20:44,423 --> 00:20:45,828
Captain.
Peralta, Santiago,
639
00:20:45,893 --> 00:20:47,429
how was the end of the
honeymoon?
640
00:20:47,494 --> 00:20:48,812
It was amazing.
641
00:20:48,877 --> 00:20:51,136
Not to brag, but I saw a sea
turtle.
642
00:20:51,201 --> 00:20:52,376
Kind of sounds like
you're bragging, babe.
643
00:20:52,441 --> 00:20:53,806
I was.
It looked right at me.
644
00:20:53,871 --> 00:20:55,314
How'd it go here?
Did you contact the mayor?
645
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:57,335
Yes. I voiced my concerns
as soon as I got back.
646
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,361
He heard me out, and he's put
John Kelly's
647
00:20:59,464 --> 00:21:01,611
"vigilant policing" initiative
under review.
648
00:21:01,676 --> 00:21:03,736
Way to go,
No Hoots Holt.
649
00:21:03,801 --> 00:21:05,612
- Was Kelly pissed?
- Very much so.
650
00:21:05,677 --> 00:21:06,704
To retaliate,
651
00:21:06,769 --> 00:21:08,447
he closed the bottom floor
of the Nine-Nine
652
00:21:08,512 --> 00:21:09,939
for renovations
indefinitely.
653
00:21:10,004 --> 00:21:11,365
Everyone's been moved
to our bullpen.
654
00:21:11,430 --> 00:21:12,775
Wait. What?
655
00:21:13,053 --> 00:21:14,525
Prepare yourselves.
656
00:21:16,048 --> 00:21:19,252
The Nine-Nine is at war with
the NYPD.
657
00:21:21,274 --> 00:21:23,115
- Ay caramba.
- Ay caramba.
658
00:21:23,180 --> 00:21:24,908
- Not a doctor.
- Shh.
659
00:21:24,980 --> 00:21:26,400
Fremulon.49246
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