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1
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,025
No.
2
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,988
Ow. You're on my hair.
3
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Dude, you're on my hair.
4
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:54,012
♪ Just remember what you said
When you were all alone ♪
5
00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:59,601
♪ Set your love to carry the sea ♪
6
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:07,609
♪ I hope there's someone
Who knows how to breathe ♪
7
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,948
♪ But you can say the love is true ♪
8
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:17,994
♪ Except emotion love around you ♪
9
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:21,831
♪ So you can find the things to do ♪
10
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:25,752
♪ Except emotion love around you ♪
11
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Did you sleep on the floor last night?
12
00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,302
Yeah, uh... I did.
13
00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:36,221
Sweaty in there, you're like a furnace.
14
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:39,349
Maybe my body's just used to sleeping
in an apartment
15
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,935
where the heater doesn't always work.
16
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:44,937
You all right?
17
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,024
Who wants eggs in the hole?
18
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:49,984
Oh, I'm headed out.
19
00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:51,778
So early?
20
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:55,031
Yeah, I'm behind in econ, so I'm gonna
go to the student lounge and study.
21
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,575
You should have told me.
I would've gone with you.
22
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:58,827
I didn't wanna wake you up.
23
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,037
So no egg, no hole?
24
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,121
What about running?
25
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,083
I'm gonna skip it this morning.
I'm a little tired.
26
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:08,378
Yeah, of course you are. You were up
fooling around with your friend all night.
27
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,715
I gotta go. See ya.
28
00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:23,059
Ah, yes, the moral quandary,
a state of uncertainty
29
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:27,355
requiring a choice
between equally unfavorable options.
30
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:31,651
But if that's too confusing for your soft,
millennial brains, let's call it a pickle.
31
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:33,236
That's actually more confusing.
32
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:36,197
Well, think of it as a dilemma, Sam.
33
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:39,826
Say you're the engineer
of a runaway train, right?
34
00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:44,455
You go left and you kill five people
you know that are tied to the tracks,
35
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:48,042
but you go right, you kill 20 people
that you don't know.
36
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:49,002
What do you do?
37
00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:52,297
Kill the five because less death.
It's not a quandary.
38
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,423
Okay.
39
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,678
All right, say a guy robs a bank
40
00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:00,555
and he gives the money to orphans.
41
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,432
Right? So you now have a choice.
42
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,185
You can either turn him in,
the money goes back to the bank
43
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:09,814
or you can let him go and the orphans
keep the money. What do you do?
44
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:12,817
Turn him in. Sorry, orphans.
It's not a quandary.
45
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:17,280
Well, you live in quite
the black and white world, Mr. Gardner.
46
00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:21,784
Oh, as you leave, a reminder,
the midterm exam will be in three weeks,
47
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,786
and it will be soul crushing.
48
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:25,747
So study all night...
49
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:27,916
you just might pass.
50
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,168
Party all night and you will likely fail.
51
00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:34,088
I rarely party
and when I do, it's never all night.
52
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,591
Again, not a quandary.
53
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:54,067
All right, Sammy, it's time
for Zahidarella to head to the ball.
54
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,319
How do I look?
55
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,029
Like a UPS truck.
56
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:03,618
Okay, I can see that.
Boxy, brown, and I deliver a big package.
57
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,339
Are you and Gretchen
really going to a ball?
58
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,164
No, Souplantation.
59
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,750
But if all goes well, around 10:30,
60
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,002
there might be some ball-related activity.
61
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,546
That is a reference to my scrotum.
62
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:16,923
Okay.
63
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:20,286
It's hard to believe how much has changed
in just a few months. I mean, look at me.
64
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:21,970
I'm killing it in nursing school.
65
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,846
I'm in love with a beautiful woman,
66
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,349
and with Bob on vacation in Jamaica,
67
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:29,102
I'm slipping quite comfortably
into this new boss roll.
68
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:31,479
Fix your collar. Giddy up.
69
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:35,358
You know how Bob insists
on setting the thermostat to 70?
70
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:38,611
Well, I set it to 69.
71
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,572
But that was too cold
so I bumped it back up to 70.
72
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,658
Still, power move.
73
00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:46,119
We're missing a turquoise Fitbit.
74
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:47,202
For reals?
75
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:51,165
Look, it says we have one in stock,
and we have zero in stock.
76
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,501
Hmm. Nice catch, Inspector Gardner.
77
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:56,671
Although I've gotta give that thief
some props, turquoise is a lovely color.
78
00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:58,464
Gretchen has a turquoise Fitbit.
79
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,758
Mm-hmm. And a matching thong.
80
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,761
Her good taste knows no bounds: exhibit A.
81
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:06,139
Do you happen to remember
the serial number on her Fitbit?
82
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:07,432
You're cute.
83
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:10,643
Anyway, I should probably get going.
I don't wanna miss out on that split pea.
84
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,478
That is also a scrotum reference.
85
00:05:21,612 --> 00:05:23,364
See? There she is.
86
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,662
God, I hate her.
87
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,664
But you came to the right place
for advice.
88
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:35,752
You happen to be in the presence
of a professional tuba thief.
89
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,671
It's true,
although I'm not very good at it.
90
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,340
- Got caught right away.
- Hmm.
91
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:41,549
I don't need advice.
92
00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:43,468
I already know what I'm gonna do.
93
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,720
I'm gonna tell Bob
as soon as he gets back.
94
00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:47,972
He'll put her picture on the wall of shame
95
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,974
next to the massage chair masturbator
96
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,559
and Jasper for my peer group.
97
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,270
He tested electric toothbrushes
without buying them,
98
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,814
and that's why we lock them up now.
99
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:01,277
Well, you should probably talk
to Zahid first.
100
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,989
Because he's the interim store manager?
101
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:07,575
No, because he's your friend.
102
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:10,711
You never know what might happen
if you get in the middle of a couple.
103
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,872
I mean, things can get messy.
104
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:14,624
Hmm.
105
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,794
Okay, fine, I'll talk to Zahid.
106
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:21,047
But I have no idea
why someone would wanna date
107
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,758
a mean, college-hating thief
like Gretchen.
108
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,594
- You probably shouldn't start with that.
- Hmm.
109
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,226
God, it's hard raising kids these days.
110
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,395
No, no, no!
111
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:39,524
No, your dad could be here any minute,
and I just got on his good side.
112
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:42,360
- Don't wanna mess that up. Not here.
- Okay, fine, come on.
113
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:52,745
- Oh.
- Oh.
114
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,330
- Hi.
- Hi.
115
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,414
Hey.
116
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:56,832
How was the bathroom?
117
00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,919
It was great. Thank you for asking.
118
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:01,462
We were just gonna...
119
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:02,713
Make out a little.
120
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,133
Okay, yeah.
121
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,051
Okay, got it.
122
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,346
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
123
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,687
So are we settled
on her being your best friend?
124
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,605
Ha ha.
125
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,798
I think I'm still in shock.
126
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:49,427
I mean, surprising me with Fleetwood Mac
tickets. It's just so romantic.
127
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:54,056
I'm just sorry I won't be here
to smash all these plates with you.
128
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,058
- I make a mean mosaic.
- Don't be sorry.
129
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,811
I don't even know why I volunteered
for this project.
130
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,980
Yes, I do, I was a little drunk.
131
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:02,482
And you get to smash stuff.
132
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,317
Okay, I don't wanna read
too much into this,
133
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,235
but Fleetwood Mac is our thing.
134
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:10,156
I mean, one of our first dates
was seeing them at Madison Square Garden.
135
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:12,575
Stevie Nicks waved at me.
136
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,952
Doug bought me a hot dog
from a street vendor.
137
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:17,205
We made out on the E train.
138
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,581
Classy.
139
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:19,664
I just...
140
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:22,835
It feels like, for the first time
in a long time,
141
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,046
things are good between us again.
142
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:26,756
I mean, not good but, you know, better.
143
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,090
This is exciting.
144
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,718
I know.
145
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:33,888
Hmm. Mm-hmm.
146
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:35,680
Yeah.
147
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:37,183
No.
148
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:40,228
On second thought,
let's see how it looks by the TVs.
149
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,145
Thanks, buddy.
150
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:44,857
Sam, it's so fun being bossy.
151
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,621
That's why Beyoncé couldn't ban that word.
152
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:50,655
Also, who bans a word? That's bossy.
153
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:52,949
I know who stole the turquoise Fitbit,
154
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:55,576
but Casey said I should tell you
before I tell Bob.
155
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:58,538
And as the acting manager of Techtropolis,
156
00:08:58,621 --> 00:08:59,997
I commend your for your allegiance
157
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:03,042
and award you one extra pee break.
158
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:04,418
It was Gretchen.
159
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,420
My Gretchen? Impossible.
160
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,464
The only thing she's ever stolen
is my heart.
161
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,175
Well, then she's stolen your heart
and a turquoise Fitbit.
162
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,761
Look, Sam, I don't wanna lord
my new power over you,
163
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,304
but with that sort of accusation,
164
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,932
- I'm gonna need some hard evidence.
- Sure.
165
00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,895
You can tell it's her
because of her scowl.
166
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:27,233
Shrinkage.
167
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,068
What?
168
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:32,530
Every company this size expects
that customers will on occasion...
169
00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:35,783
remove items from the store
without paying for them.
170
00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:38,786
- Stealing.
- It's called shrinkage, Sam.
171
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:41,497
And it's built into the price
of every single item.
172
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:45,543
Honestly, it'd be more unusual if someone
didn't take a Fitbit once in awhile.
173
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:49,755
No, the employee handbook says that
if we see someone steal,
174
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,591
we have to report it to Bob.
175
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:56,095
Who are you trying to protect here, Sam,
John Jay Techtropolis or the little guy?
176
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:59,140
Aka, my hometown honey,
who's just trying to stay fit.
177
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,976
I'm not trying to protect anyone.
178
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:04,604
- I'm just following the rules.
- Exactly.
179
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,522
Is Gretchen really the sort of person
180
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:09,066
who deserves to have
her perfectly symmetrical face pinned
181
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,027
onto the wall of shame?
182
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,904
I mean, she didn't masturbate
in the massage chair.
183
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,907
She didn't leave a Snickers bar
in the display microwave
184
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,367
so people would think it's a turd.
185
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:20,995
That's true.
186
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,706
Please, Sam. Do this for me.
187
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,000
I...
188
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:29,754
- I don't know.
- Don't forget.
189
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:33,507
I've gotten you out of a lot of pickles.
190
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,345
I have a pickle.
191
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:39,680
Hmm. I'm all ears.
192
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:43,434
I have proof that Zahid's girlfriend stole
from Techtropolis,
193
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:44,935
where we both work,
194
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:48,105
but Zahid said I shouldn't turn her in
because of shrinkage,
195
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:51,192
and if I do, I only really care
about John Jay Techtropolis,
196
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:54,195
which by the way,
is not his real name, I looked it up.
197
00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:57,657
Oh, so clearly you're taking
the deontological approach,
198
00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:01,744
whereas this Zahid character,
well, he's turning it into a virtue issue.
199
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:03,579
That's fascinating.
200
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,082
No, not fascinating.
201
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:09,877
I'm confused why my friend
would ask me to ignore company protocol
202
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,129
and cover up a Class C misdemeanor.
203
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,715
So Zahid is a friend?
204
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:15,800
My best friend.
205
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,428
Okay, thought experiment, Sam.
206
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:24,183
Is Zahid the sort of person
who makes morally questionable decisions?
207
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,019
Anybody want some froyo?
208
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,231
What? Samples are free.
209
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:36,195
You can kiss someone if they're married
as long as they're not happily married.
210
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:39,407
You're actually doing them a favor,
and favors are nice.
211
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,742
Yo, Sam, my health insurance just went up.
212
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:45,204
Would you mind dropping this on my foot
so I can get some sweet workers comp?
213
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,499
Not without a morally sound explanation.
214
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:51,544
Keep in mind there are different friends
for different seasons,
215
00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:54,088
and maybe this just
isn't the right season for Zahid.
216
00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:55,756
- What, fall?
- No.
217
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,675
I'm saying friends come and go.
218
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,470
You know what you should
really take a look at?
219
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,848
Kant's Critique of Pure Reason.
220
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,976
It's a bit too utilitarian for my taste,
221
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:10,104
but if you can get past
the first 300 pages, I think you'll see...
222
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,710
I don't wanna toot my own horn,
223
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:18,529
but I am crushing my return
from maternity leave.
224
00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:19,905
I've already taught a class,
225
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:23,284
had three meetings and gotten
a head-start on my grant application.
226
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:24,410
Full steam ahead!
227
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:28,372
But really, how are you?
228
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,291
Truly honestly, never better.
229
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:32,375
Julia.
230
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,160
Maybe I miss Hanzo a tiny bit.
231
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:35,838
Julia.
232
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:39,258
And maybe some of my classes
are further away than I'd like.
233
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:42,302
Julia.
234
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,973
I just crumped in a janitor's closet!
235
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,476
Crumped, like...
236
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,269
No, it's cry while pumping.
237
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,897
It's been happening so much
I developed a shorthand.
238
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:55,608
Oh, honey. Come.
239
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:59,779
My classes are clear across campus,
and I can't get back here in time to pump
240
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:02,281
- so janitor's closet.
- Ugh.
241
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:04,492
It's just too much!
242
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,994
You know, being a new mom,
teaching classes,
243
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,954
doing research, trying to get published.
244
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,458
Even if I gave up sleeping,
there wouldn't be enough hours in a day.
245
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:13,918
I know because I've done it.
246
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:15,002
Finally.
247
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:18,714
You've been gone forever,
I have so much to tell you.
248
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:22,760
Zahid wants me to lie to protect
his terrible girlfriend as a favor.
249
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:25,387
- Sam...
- And he helps me all the time.
250
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:30,226
When Stumpy had a parasite, he dragged
trainer Malik away from the otters.
251
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:34,188
Do you know how hard it is to get someone
away from the otters? They're so cute.
252
00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:35,271
Okay, Sam...
253
00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:39,735
I'm happy to see you, but my office hours
are just for my students.
254
00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:44,824
But I do host a board game night every
other week for students on the spectrum.
255
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,450
We talk, eat pizza...
256
00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:48,117
You should come.
257
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,164
How do these students feel
about Bananagrams?
258
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:53,833
Big fans.
259
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:56,292
Okay.
260
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:57,794
Maybe.
261
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,088
Sam.
262
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:04,301
It sounds like maybe Zahid
has forgotten who he is.
263
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,303
Like amnesia?
264
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,764
No, like he's changing himself.
265
00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:13,644
Well, I haven't forgotten who he is.
In fact, I have it all written down.
266
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,984
Like every explorer worth his salt,
267
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:22,736
I keep meticulous records of my journeys.
268
00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:24,613
Where I go,
269
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,240
what I learn.
270
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:30,995
Because you never know
when you'll need valuable wisdom.
271
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:35,958
Or to remind a good friend
who he used to be.
272
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:49,471
Jeez, Newton, haven't seen you all day.
273
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,057
Feel like I see you less
now that I live with you.
274
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,476
Hey, not now, okay? I'm trying to focus.
275
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,771
Love our chats.
276
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,818
Ugh.
277
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:11,368
Oh! Oh.
278
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,078
Sorry! Sorry.
279
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:18,876
♪ From one to the other ♪
280
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:23,047
♪ There's nothing
That we'll ever find hard ♪
281
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:26,759
♪ Until we get in each other's ways ♪
282
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,889
Hey, superstar. Get over here.
283
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:36,685
What's going on with you? Hmm?
284
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,063
Watching you
is tremendously painful right now.
285
00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:40,522
My eyeballs hurt.
286
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:42,733
I'm just a little tired.
287
00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,069
I have some personal stuff.
288
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:47,321
You wanna talk about it?
289
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,452
Look, everything's awful at your age.
290
00:15:53,535 --> 00:15:55,704
I wouldn't go back
for all the money in the world.
291
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,331
Really? All the money?
292
00:15:57,414 --> 00:16:00,292
Okay, could you not be a smart-ass
when I'm trying to help?
293
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,376
Sorry.
294
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,254
But if you don't wanna
jeopardize your future,
295
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:08,008
you need to channel all that teenage drama
directly into running.
296
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,718
Starting tomorrow.
297
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,845
- Wait, tomorrow?
- Yeah, I'm sending you home.
298
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:15,307
I can't watch another second of this.
Seriously, I might vomit.
299
00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:21,939
Hey, you look cool.
300
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,649
Thanks. I feel cool.
301
00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:25,901
All right, I'm going out.
I'll see you later.
302
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,528
Oh, I...
303
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:30,280
I thought we were going out.
304
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:31,781
What?
305
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:38,247
Nothing. I found those
Fleetwood Mac tickets in the sunroom.
306
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,249
No, I'm...
307
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:45,379
Yeah,
I'm going with people from peer group.
308
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,088
But...
309
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:48,924
I only found two tickets.
310
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:51,592
Yeah, I...
311
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,805
bought Megan's ticket
when we decided to go
312
00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:58,183
'cause it was easier that way and she's...
she's paying me back.
313
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:00,810
Sure.
314
00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:03,957
All right, well, have fun, the two of you.
I mean all of you, the big group.
315
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,692
Yeah, have fun. Great fun.
316
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,114
Sorry about the confusion.
317
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:16,702
It's fine.
318
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,969
Wow. You make volunteering really fun.
319
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:36,930
I've been so patient with him.
320
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:39,266
I've waited and waited.
321
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:42,227
And nothing has changed
except I've gotten my hopes up,
322
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,771
only to have them smashed!
323
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,314
Oh, that was a big one.
324
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,024
A shard hit my goggle.
325
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:50,527
I mean, Fleetwood Mac. Fleetwood Mac!
326
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,571
Get it, girl. Show that little teacup.
327
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:54,740
There's only so far I can step back
328
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:57,117
before I feel like I'm falling
off a cliff.
329
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,036
Here, drink this.
330
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:00,621
And then smash it.
331
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,165
Thank you.
332
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,257
Hi.
333
00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:15,385
Okay, well,
334
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:20,224
yeah, my manager told me that
we're gonna need to take this table back.
335
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,936
Come on, I'm a paying customer.
336
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,938
Kind of. You've been here three hours,
337
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,232
you had one slice of pizza
and seven refills.
338
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,776
That's your fault for putting
so much ice in the cups.
339
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:35,155
Casey, I love ya, go home.
340
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:38,659
Maybe take a shower.
341
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,244
Okay, fine.
342
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:42,621
Hey, what's wrong?
343
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,205
Nothing.
344
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,251
You mad?
345
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:48,334
No.
346
00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:50,711
Just...
347
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:52,881
Nobody wants me around.
348
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,426
Well, why don't you go find Izzie?
She wants ya.
349
00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,478
I don't wanna find Izzie.
You're my boyfriend.
350
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,140
You should wanna hang out with me.
351
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:04,726
Yeah, I do wanna hang out with you,
but, I mean, I'm at work.
352
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:06,854
Okay, well, what about later?
353
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:08,897
Later I've gotta study for the EMT stuff.
354
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,232
Okay, fine, whatever.
355
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:11,400
Oh, come on.
356
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:12,526
Hey.
357
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,445
Why you gotta be such a grump?
358
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:17,698
I'm doing what you said, I'm leaving.
359
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,511
I'm gonna get a refill on the way out.
360
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,833
It looks really... good.
361
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:30,294
Are you sure? I don't look silly?
362
00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:31,962
Silly? No.
363
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:34,339
Silly like a fox, maybe.
364
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:35,716
That's nice to hear.
365
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:38,886
These were really the only good things
to happen to me on this trip.
366
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:40,888
Hmm. That is upsetting.
367
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,348
First, I ate a really bad brownie,
368
00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:46,768
then I fell asleep on the beach
and someone stole my sandals
369
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:47,978
right off my feet.
370
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:52,065
Then I got a terrible sunburn
and had to stay in our room
371
00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:54,276
- almost the whole time.
- Yeesh.
372
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:57,446
Luckily, our friend Tim was there
to keep the wifey company.
373
00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,907
Some nights she had so much fun,
374
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,451
she didn't come back to the room at all.
375
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:03,410
He's a good man.
376
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,745
You sure about that?
377
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,331
Sam, you don't work tonight.
378
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:08,414
Hi, Bob.
379
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:12,044
You look silly.
Zahid, I need to talk to you outside.
380
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:13,837
Uh...
381
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:15,880
Okay.
382
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,061
All right, what's all this?
383
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:33,190
These are all of my old notebooks,
31 to be exact.
384
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:35,275
I consider them my archives, if you will.
385
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:36,360
I will.
386
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:41,031
I reread all of them, every page,
and I discovered something.
387
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,283
What, that your boob drawings
have really improved?
388
00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:47,829
No, I discovered you, the real you.
389
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,206
But this is the real me.
390
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:50,165
No, it's not.
391
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,292
You're breaking your own rules.
392
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:55,629
Because like Stumpy you have a parasite
393
00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:57,923
and that parasite's name is Gretchen.
394
00:20:58,006 --> 00:21:00,008
Dude, ouch.
395
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,594
And wrong, Gretchen is not a parasite.
396
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:03,720
She's a princess.
397
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,932
She's dope, lovely, in every possible way.
398
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:08,016
She hasn't changed me.
399
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,100
Not true.
400
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:11,103
Notebook seven, page nine:
401
00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:13,105
"Bros before hoes."
402
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:15,691
Notebook 24, page six:
403
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:17,651
"Brown dudes look dope in hot pink."
404
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,444
Doesn't sound like me.
405
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,530
Notebook 30, page 19:
406
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,448
"Never let a chica change you."
407
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,701
This Gretchen is bad news.
408
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:29,079
Listen, Sam, the rules go out the window
when you're in love.
409
00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:31,081
You just don't get how relationships work.
410
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,792
I'm in a relationship with Paige.
411
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:37,212
Your "thing" with Paige is really sweet,
412
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,339
but let's be real,
you wouldn't even be in it
413
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:41,758
if I didn't coach you every tiny step
of the way.
414
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:45,220
Well, I've been with Paige
longer than you've been with Gretchen.
415
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,681
It's not about time, it's about depth,
416
00:21:47,764 --> 00:21:49,224
and what we have is deeper.
417
00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:51,101
You just couldn't understand it.
418
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:57,524
Stumpy was mean to her friends, too.
419
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:02,737
Hmm.
420
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:08,493
Sam, you came.
421
00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:11,371
Yes, but only because I didn't know
what else to do
422
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:13,332
because the advice you gave
didn't work at all.
423
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:15,542
Oh, sorry to hear that.
424
00:22:16,251 --> 00:22:17,627
Maybe games and pizza will help.
425
00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:21,131
- I certainly hope so.
- Here. You can sit next to me.
426
00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:24,634
We're playing Battleship, and I totally
know where Jasper's aircraft carrier is.
427
00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:25,886
No, you don't.
428
00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:29,890
Is everything okay?
429
00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:31,641
Why does everyone always ask that?
430
00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:33,560
Clearly the answer is no,
431
00:22:33,643 --> 00:22:36,438
and when is everything ever okay?
432
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:37,731
The answer is never.
433
00:22:37,814 --> 00:22:40,025
That's dark. I like it.
434
00:22:40,817 --> 00:22:41,651
H5.
435
00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:43,904
Hit. Darn.
436
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:46,948
On the one hand, Zahid is my best friend,
437
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:50,702
and on the other hand,
Gretchen his girlfriend is a thief,
438
00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:53,288
and on the third hand,
he said something very rude
439
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:55,082
about my relationship with Paige.
440
00:22:55,165 --> 00:22:56,416
And that's a lot of hands.
441
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:57,793
There's a lot going on.
442
00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:02,381
I want to turn her in,
but if I do then Zahid will be mad,
443
00:23:02,464 --> 00:23:04,049
so I don't know what to do.
444
00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:07,386
I don't know who any of these people are,
but I don't like them.
445
00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:09,304
Your turn.
446
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,306
When I don't know what to do,
447
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:14,393
my mom tells me
always try to do the right thing.
448
00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:17,479
B7.
449
00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:21,191
- Miss.
- What?!
450
00:23:21,274 --> 00:23:22,109
Having fun?
451
00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:24,986
No, but Jasper did give me
some good advice.
452
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:27,114
- It's true, I did.
- Nice.
453
00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:31,118
- And here's some good advice for you: A9.
- Ugh! Sam!
454
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:33,537
Ha ha! I've sunken your battleship.
455
00:23:58,186 --> 00:23:59,563
Sam, you're back.
456
00:23:59,646 --> 00:24:02,149
Hello, Bob.
There's an incident I need to report.
457
00:24:03,024 --> 00:24:05,694
While you were away in Jamaica
getting your hair braids,
458
00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:09,114
Zahid's terrible girlfriend Gretchen
stole a turquoise Fitbit.
459
00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:12,200
I discovered the discrepancy
while doing inventory.
460
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:15,036
She's also stealing his soul.
461
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:17,372
Is this true?
462
00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:19,416
The soul part, hard no.
463
00:24:19,499 --> 00:24:22,502
But you knew she shoplifted
and you didn't tell me.
464
00:24:25,422 --> 00:24:28,008
From my time in Jamaica,
I'm tempted to say,
465
00:24:28,091 --> 00:24:30,093
"Don't worry, be happy, mon."
466
00:24:30,635 --> 00:24:34,139
But from my time as store manager,
your girlfriend is banned, Zahid,
467
00:24:34,222 --> 00:24:35,932
she's going on the wall of shame,
468
00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:38,226
and you are on very thin ice.
469
00:24:43,356 --> 00:24:44,691
One thing,
470
00:24:45,108 --> 00:24:47,402
I asked you to do one thing for me.
471
00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:48,904
After everything I've done for you.
472
00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:52,574
What she did was illegal
and against store policy.
473
00:24:53,033 --> 00:24:55,952
I had to turn her in
or else I'd be breaking the rules.
474
00:24:58,121 --> 00:24:59,748
You and me are done.
475
00:25:00,373 --> 00:25:01,625
We're not friends anymore.
476
00:25:01,708 --> 00:25:03,627
What do you mean, we're not friends?
477
00:25:03,710 --> 00:25:05,045
I don't know how else to say it.
478
00:25:06,796 --> 00:25:08,006
Actually, I do.
479
00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:11,259
You are un-homied.
480
00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:27,900
Hi.
481
00:25:28,902 --> 00:25:29,902
Hey.
482
00:25:31,821 --> 00:25:32,906
We need to talk.
483
00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:36,700
Okay.
484
00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:46,711
I've been doing a lot of thinking.
485
00:25:48,421 --> 00:25:49,421
And...
486
00:25:52,842 --> 00:25:54,010
I can't do this.
487
00:25:57,013 --> 00:25:58,013
What?
488
00:26:01,726 --> 00:26:03,061
I want us to separate.
489
00:26:05,605 --> 00:26:06,605
What?
490
00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:10,360
Elsa.
491
00:26:10,443 --> 00:26:12,237
I know it's a lot to...
492
00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:17,367
process and we don't have to talk
about it all now, I just...
493
00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:23,164
I just think we both need
to get past this...
494
00:26:24,082 --> 00:26:25,667
painful purgatory.
495
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:27,585
And...
496
00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:34,884
I just think it's...
497
00:26:37,387 --> 00:26:39,222
the best option, well...
498
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:41,891
it's, like, the only option.
499
00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:45,936
Well...
500
00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:20,805
Strange time to practice.
501
00:27:22,223 --> 00:27:23,600
But better late than never?
502
00:27:25,935 --> 00:27:27,812
I swear I'm not a stalker.
503
00:27:28,355 --> 00:27:30,023
I just really had to talk to you.
504
00:27:31,232 --> 00:27:32,275
How'd you find me?
505
00:27:34,110 --> 00:27:35,320
Do you even have to ask?
506
00:27:37,405 --> 00:27:38,782
Elsa tracks my phone.
507
00:27:42,285 --> 00:27:43,536
First off...
508
00:27:45,705 --> 00:27:47,624
it sucks you're avoiding me.
509
00:27:50,627 --> 00:27:52,295
I put myself out there...
510
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,548
and I was honest with you.
511
00:27:56,633 --> 00:27:58,677
And for that I get the silent treatment?
512
00:28:01,596 --> 00:28:05,809
Even if you don't feel the same, you can
at least be there for me as a friend.
513
00:28:06,476 --> 00:28:08,603
You're making me feel crazy!
514
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:13,440
Honestly...
515
00:28:14,401 --> 00:28:15,568
if I knew...
516
00:28:16,403 --> 00:28:18,071
that you were gonna be all weird
517
00:28:18,154 --> 00:28:20,365
and that this is gonna
jeopardize our friendship,
518
00:28:20,448 --> 00:28:23,368
I never in a million years
would have told you how I felt,
519
00:28:23,868 --> 00:28:27,122
because it is becoming incredibly clear
520
00:28:27,205 --> 00:28:28,665
that you don't feel the same way.
521
00:28:47,851 --> 00:28:50,019
♪ Children, behave ♪
522
00:28:51,771 --> 00:28:54,941
♪ That's what they say
When we're together ♪
523
00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:57,986
♪ And watch how you play ♪
524
00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:05,827
♪ They don't understand and so we're
Running just as fast as we can ♪
525
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:09,706
♪ Holding on to one another's hands ♪
526
00:29:10,039 --> 00:29:13,668
♪ And I think we're alone now ♪
527
00:29:14,335 --> 00:29:18,465
♪ There doesn't seem to be anyone around ♪
528
00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:21,593
♪ I think we're alone now ♪
529
00:29:22,635 --> 00:29:26,806
♪ The beating of our heart
Is the only sound ♪
530
00:29:31,728 --> 00:29:33,730
♪ I think we're alone now ♪
531
00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:41,821
♪ I think we're alone now ♪
532
00:29:43,573 --> 00:29:45,575
♪ I think we're alone now ♪
533
00:29:46,618 --> 00:29:50,497
♪ There doesn't seem to be anyone around ♪
534
00:29:51,706 --> 00:29:53,875
♪ I think we're alone now ♪
535
00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:58,671
♪ The beating of our heart
Is the only sound ♪
40009
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