All language subtitles for An.Evening.with.Beverly.Luff.Linn.2018.720p.BluRay.x264-EiDER

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish Download
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German Download
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish Download
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,811 Tyrone, what blend is that bag? 2 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:49,649 Winter. Oh, shit. Sorry, Shane. 3 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,852 Please, pay better attention. 4 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,193 It's just, we never had a mid-winter blend before 5 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,400 and it's like, "Why? And who cares?" 6 00:01:58,702 --> 00:01:59,942 I can't think about that, Tyrone 7 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:01,657 and neither should you. 8 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:05,786 Good morning, Lulu. 9 00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:07,750 Good morning, Carl. 10 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:10,791 Hey, Lulu, check this out. 11 00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,131 Are you breakdancing, Carl? 12 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:24,180 Yes, it's body-popping. 13 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,808 Guys! No dancing. Get back to work. 14 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:37,984 Excuse me. 15 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,071 Excuse me. 16 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,823 May I have a large cappuccino, please? 17 00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:00,302 Here you go, sir. One large cappuccino. 18 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,804 Thank you. Is Mr Danger here? 19 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,807 Yeah, hang on a second. 20 00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:16,569 Hi. Shane Danger. Manager. 21 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,022 Mr Danger, I'm Barry Ofeld, 22 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,649 with Human Resources, from our corporate office. 23 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,694 Is there somewhere we can speak in private? 24 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:31,997 The reason for my visit 25 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,661 is the company is in the process 26 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,584 of scaling back operations. 27 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,503 This means making across-the-board 28 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,458 personnel cuts, Mr Danger. 29 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:41,804 Oh. 30 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,845 Unfortunately, we must ask you to relieve 31 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,223 one of your employees of their responsibilities. 32 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,676 I will leave that to your discretion 33 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,262 but we'd like this to happen immediately, Mr Danger. 34 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,772 Do you have any questions? 35 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,482 No, I don't think so. 36 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,686 Times are tough, Mr Danger. Better one of them than you. 37 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:00,988 Good point. 38 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,371 Not a very good cappuccino. 39 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,829 If you'll excuse me. 40 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,666 That guy was checking you out, Lulu. 41 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,799 No, I was checking him out, Carl. 42 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,433 It wasn't that funny, Carl. 43 00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:38,359 Lulu, if you could see me in my office? 44 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,485 Certainly. 45 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:58,455 I'm sorry, there was nothing I could do about it. 46 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,002 You can stop going on about it. 47 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,254 I don't care about the job. 48 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,263 Oh, someone told me today 49 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,436 what they were building behind the hardware centre. 50 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:18,725 Oh, but I can't remember what it was. 51 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,281 Oh, I remember now. 52 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,868 They're putting in a state-of-the-art fitness centre 53 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,669 behind the hardware centre. 54 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:42,255 Might have to get my gym back on. 55 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,090 Thanks, sweetie. 56 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,935 Now I have to find my way to bed in the dark. 57 00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,407 Sweetie, 58 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,534 five dollars for fun. 59 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:12,723 Why don't you enjoy yourself and buy one of those 60 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,158 cinnamon swirly things 61 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:15,831 you like so much from the bakeshop? 62 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:21,211 I will see you later, won't I, sweetie? 63 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,519 Kinda does feel like a morgue with Lulu gone. 64 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,273 She was fun. 65 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,599 Yeah, well, she got fired, Carl. 66 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:43,355 Times are tough. 67 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,360 We have jobs to do, and this is what happens 68 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,359 when you don't do your job. 69 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,990 So, we have our first casualty, guys. 70 00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:52,451 Might not be our last. 71 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,607 Are you going to have problems with your marriage 72 00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,042 now you fired your wife, Shane? 73 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,624 No, I'm not going to have problems 74 00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,425 with my marriage now, Tyrone. 75 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,382 I have a tremendous marriage. 76 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,180 In fact, Lulu is relieved not to be working. 77 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,341 Well, I got problems, Shane. 78 00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:17,306 My mom just got diabetes. 79 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,846 I have to buy her a little scooter to get her around, 80 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,226 but I don't have no money. 81 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:24,730 I'm sorry about that, but you have to save, Tyrone. 82 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,069 I save everything I can, 83 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:30,110 and I think positive all the time. 84 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,618 Okay, I have to take a shit. 85 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:36,988 Can you guys man the shop for 25 minutes? 86 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,082 Sure. 87 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,213 Who shits for 25 minutes? 88 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:55,386 Hey, nearly birthday girl. Can I make you a cappuccino? 89 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,426 Oh, I used to make cappuccinos. 90 00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:01,346 Sweetie, Mr Ofeld said, 91 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:04,728 "Either the both of you go, or just the girl." 92 00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,230 "The girl's gonna go anyway though," 93 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:10,776 so I chose to stay so at least one of us has a job. 94 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,650 You seem sad. 95 00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:18,120 Yeah, well, this TV is really shitty, you know? 96 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,994 That's what I want for my birthday. 97 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,208 A new bigger, better TV, 98 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,040 so I can sit in front of it all day 99 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,996 untill my ass gets so fat and flat 100 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,422 we have to get a new couch. 101 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,005 Don't say that. 102 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,425 Plus, we don't have that kind of money right now. 103 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,886 Not until I become area manager, 104 00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:40,093 which I think is gonna happen, by the way. 105 00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:46,728 Now that's a real cappuccino. 106 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:51,229 Maybe I should ask my brother for a new TV. 107 00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:53,989 He's got that kind of money in his cash box. 108 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:58,410 Who, Adjay? Yeah, right. 109 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,418 How much money does Adjay have in his cash box? 110 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,376 More than what you have in your tiny little cash box. 111 00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,503 I don't have a fucking cash box. 112 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,881 There's no way that little fucking vegan 113 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,307 has more money than me. 114 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:21,884 No, he does. 115 00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,149 If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bath. 116 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:44,456 An evening with Beverley Luff Linn 117 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:48,958 for one magical night only. 118 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,085 Beverly. Beverly Luff Linn. 119 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:02,971 Is that you, sweetie? 120 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,354 Yes. 121 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:10,437 Sweetie, exactly how much money 122 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,109 is in Adjay's cash box? 123 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:16,365 A lot. 124 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,288 Sweetie, I don't understand 125 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,165 how Adjay has got all this fucking money. 126 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,289 He saves. 127 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,203 So do fucking I. 128 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,797 Well, Adjay saves more than fucking you. 129 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,556 Okay, do we all know what we're doing? 130 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:48,979 I'm staying in the car. 131 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,640 I'm walking in with you, Shane, 132 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,191 and asking a guy to take me to the Grains of Paradise. 133 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:54,797 And he will take you to the back of the store, 134 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,028 to the spice aisle. 135 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,150 Yes, he will. 136 00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,524 And you will keep him there as long as possible. 137 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:00,653 Yes, I will. 138 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,657 Let's do this. 139 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:18,585 How may I help you, gentlemen? 140 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,928 Take me to the Grains of Paradise. 141 00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,589 Wow, your face is very shiny, man. 142 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,966 Yeah, my family has thyroid. 143 00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:30,229 I will take you to the Grains of Paradise, come. 144 00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:42,111 This is the highest grade. 145 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,322 This is the best Grains of Paradise. 146 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,621 Okay, yes? 147 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,744 You don't look well, man. 148 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,668 Where is your friend, by the way? 149 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,190 Oh, he's just at the front of the store, 150 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,455 looking for a couple of items. 151 00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:57,498 How many kinds are there? 152 00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,426 This is the cheaper. 153 00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:01,259 This is the cheaper Grains of Paradise? 154 00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,431 Hey! What the fuck are you doing, man? 155 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,308 Are you trying to rob me, man? 156 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,139 What the fuck is going on? 157 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,395 Shane? Is that you? 158 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,237 Adjay? 159 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,021 What the fuck, Shane? 160 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,484 Are you seriously trying to rob me? 161 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,358 No. Are you fucking crazy? 162 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:27,702 Okay. Now, Tyrone, run! Go! 163 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,251 Carl, drive! 164 00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:05,367 Miss? 165 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,754 Cinnamon bullshit. 166 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:33,435 Who is this fucking Shane Danger? 167 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,929 He's my fucking brother-in-law. 168 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:40,268 He shot a fucking hole in your ceiling. 169 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:43,817 Yes, and then he ran off with my fucking cash box 170 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,359 with my fucking savings. 171 00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,111 You think? 172 00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,698 Fucking Shane Danger! 173 00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,996 That's not even a fucking real name! 174 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:54,702 Stupid fucking fucks! 175 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,999 So, this Shane Danger, he's got some new monies, huh? 176 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,459 Yes. 177 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,338 I'm just rolling through town, 178 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,003 and then I hear you want the monies 179 00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,679 back from this Shane Danger. 180 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:10,882 I can help you do that. 181 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:14,389 Really? I was gonna talk to my cousin, Poony. 182 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,972 Forget Cousin Poony. This is what I do. 183 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:21,858 Tell me more. 184 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,482 You give me Shane Danger's address, 185 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,029 I bring you the cash box, 186 00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:27,982 you give me $200. 187 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,317 You must blow out his kneecap. 188 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,489 Yeah. I promise you, I will blow out both his kneecaps. 189 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:38,830 Valerie! We need a pen and a fucking paper! 190 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:43,001 I need to write Shane Danger's address down for this man. 191 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:40,388 Okay, time to open the glove box, Colin. Yep. 192 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:56,032 Cash box. Kneecaps. 193 00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:45,081 Are you the party man, party man? 194 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:51,967 Oh, hey, sweetie. 195 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,146 Are you going to let the party man in, Shane? 196 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,796 Sure. Who is he? 197 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,136 - I'm Colin. - Colin. 198 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,226 Coming in for a drink, Colin? 199 00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:03,897 Yes, I am. 200 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,090 Why do you always make that brown shit? 201 00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,204 Because it's a fan favourite. 202 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,454 Do you think Colin will like it? 203 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,936 Kinda looks like a shit shake. 204 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,691 So how do you guys know Colin? 205 00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,344 I thought you knew this guy. 206 00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:58,368 I don't know him. 207 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,748 You told me to invite him in for a drink. 208 00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,241 You don't have to do what I say. 209 00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,368 Who the fuck is this guy? 210 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:16,377 Colin? Who the fuck are you? 211 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,430 You stole the cash box from Adjay, 212 00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,303 now Adjay wants his monies back! 213 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,643 So pull out the cash box from behind the couch! 214 00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,932 Now, before I blow out these kneecaps! 215 00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,106 Colin, grab the cash box. 216 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,530 Grab the fucking cash box! Grab it! 217 00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:43,999 - Now give me the gun. - That ain't gonna happen. 218 00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,579 Now, let's go. Go! Move! 219 00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:52,747 Faster! Get... Get my coat! 220 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:55,340 - Is that your car? - Yes, it is. 221 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:58,760 Good, get in! Get in! 222 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,383 Drive! 223 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:10,648 Lulu! Where are you going? Come back here, sweetie! 224 00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:13,733 She's gone, Shane, and she's taken the fucking money! 225 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,814 Oh, really, Tyrone? 'Cause I wasn't here. 226 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,444 Tell me what else fucking happened! 227 00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,138 Are we taking the cash box to Adjay? 228 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:26,781 - No! We're not. - No. 229 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,789 And I will be asking the questions now. 230 00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:29,918 Okay. 231 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,418 We're going on an adventure, Colin. 232 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:33,797 Do you like adventures? 233 00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,715 I do. Adventures, I like them. 234 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:39,088 - Do you promise? - I like adventures, yeah. 235 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:40,720 Good. 236 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,634 Are you a good guy or a bad guy? 237 00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:44,927 I'm a good guy. 238 00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:47,769 Good. 239 00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,665 Good evening, my name is Lawrence. Welcome to the Moorhouse Hotel. 240 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:17,251 Thank you, Lawrence. We would like a room. 241 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,513 Oh, that looks fun. Is Mr Lufflinn staying here too? 242 00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:29,389 It's Luff Linn. Two words. 243 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:32,847 Oh, and we'll need a room with two twins' beds, please. 244 00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,102 Is it two twins' beds, 245 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:38,276 or two twins bed, or is it two twin bed? 246 00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:42,818 I'm not really sure about that kind of thing, it's not... 247 00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,736 Perhaps we should ask Mr Beverly? 248 00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,994 Oh, lookie here, it looks like you're in lucky. 249 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,039 - Is breakfast included? - We'll take it. 250 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,379 Wonderful. Key time. 251 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:06,677 Magical event. Magical Luff Linn. 252 00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:14,521 Okay, well, this is my kind of hotel room. 253 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,274 You take that bed. 254 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:19,692 Okay. 255 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:34,082 Colin, do you think you could give me a massage? 256 00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:36,377 Yes. 257 00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:39,371 I can do that. 258 00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:48,675 - Like this? - Mmm-hmm. 259 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,842 - How's this? - Mmm-hmm. 260 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:55,141 - And this? - Mmm-hmm. 261 00:22:01,612 --> 00:22:03,524 I needed to get away from my husband. 262 00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:06,982 Aren't you worried about people coming after us? 263 00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:09,944 Adjay must be very upset and angry. 264 00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:12,203 Adjay would never come after us. 265 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:15,908 He's had terrifying panic attacks since we were children, 266 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,709 because he choked on too much breast milk as a baby. 267 00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:21,413 I didn't know that was a possibility. 268 00:22:22,216 --> 00:22:23,377 Choking on breast milk? 269 00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:27,385 Choking on too much breast milk. 270 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:29,347 Mmm-hmm. 271 00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:35,893 Okay, that's enough. Thank you. 272 00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:45,521 Colin, I need you to protect me, okay? Can you handle that? 273 00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:46,695 Yes, I can do that. 274 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:49,159 Are you sure you don't have any other commitments? 275 00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:50,992 No, I don't have any other commitments. 276 00:22:51,662 --> 00:22:53,324 In fact, putting myself in harm's way 277 00:22:53,414 --> 00:22:55,747 for the benefit of others is exactly what I do. 278 00:22:58,419 --> 00:22:59,419 Good. 279 00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:07,793 I'm going to take a bath. 280 00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:10,087 Why don't you watch... 281 00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,221 TV? 282 00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:52,796 Here comes din-dins. 283 00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:57,060 You buckled up? 284 00:23:58,228 --> 00:24:00,390 Hmmmm! 285 00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:03,227 Right, let's try and find this hotel 286 00:24:03,484 --> 00:24:05,084 that apparently no one knows the name of. 287 00:24:05,819 --> 00:24:07,151 Hmmm! 288 00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:20,577 Have you heard anything from Lulu? 289 00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:22,499 I haven't heard anything. 290 00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:28,961 Hello, Shane. Do you have my money? 291 00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:33,970 No, Adjay. Have you talked to Colin? 292 00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,923 Colin is a double-crossing shit! 293 00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:39,391 Well, my wife and your money are with him, 294 00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,265 so you might want to track him down. 295 00:24:41,522 --> 00:24:44,890 Track him down, Shane? I'm a fucking vegan! 296 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:49,569 I'm coming every day until you find my fucking money. 297 00:24:49,905 --> 00:24:52,272 Did you hear me, you fat loser? 298 00:24:55,953 --> 00:25:00,368 Adjay, please leave! You're causing a disturbance! Now! 299 00:25:01,375 --> 00:25:04,789 I will leave, and then I will come back again 300 00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:10,082 for my fucking M-O-N-E-Y! 301 00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:15,671 Wow. 302 00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:18,264 Why has my wife run off with a fucking criminal? 303 00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:20,426 Maybe she was sexually attracted to him? 304 00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:23,933 I've definitely read women are attracted to mens with guns. 305 00:25:25,899 --> 00:25:26,899 "Mens"? 306 00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:29,559 Yeah, the gun is like a penis. 307 00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:32,103 Yeah, the male penis. 308 00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:43,953 Why are we buying all these outfits? 309 00:25:44,585 --> 00:25:46,918 Because I need outfits, Colin. 310 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,092 I'm going to be honest with you. 311 00:25:55,929 --> 00:25:58,012 Although I don't know quite what's going on, 312 00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:00,635 I'm having a great time, Lulu. 313 00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:04,093 And... 314 00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:07,397 And you nailed it with these cheesy onion rings. Mmm. 315 00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:14,737 Listen, there is an event tomorrow night at the hotel. 316 00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:16,985 We're going to it, okay? 317 00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:18,821 An event? 318 00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:20,826 Do you remember the man in the plaid hat, 319 00:26:21,330 --> 00:26:24,448 from the large man-shaped poster near the hotel reception? 320 00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:28,497 Mr Beverly? Beverly is a woman's name. 321 00:26:29,046 --> 00:26:30,628 No. I don't think so. 322 00:26:30,798 --> 00:26:32,630 It is. It's a Scottish woman's name. 323 00:26:32,883 --> 00:26:35,466 - Beverly is a man's name. - It's a very feminine name. 324 00:26:35,552 --> 00:26:37,760 No, it isn't, Colin. It's a very masculine name. 325 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,284 I went to school with a girl called Beverly. 326 00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:44,142 No, Colin. Beverly is a man's name. 327 00:26:45,187 --> 00:26:46,519 Beverly is a woman's name. 328 00:26:46,647 --> 00:26:49,060 No, Colin. Beverly is a man's name. 329 00:26:51,735 --> 00:26:52,735 Okay. 330 00:26:58,408 --> 00:27:00,616 Oh, my goodness. Mmm. 331 00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:04,578 Yeah. This is so indulgent. 332 00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:07,741 I'm gonna need to do some exercise after this. 333 00:27:17,928 --> 00:27:19,214 Can you please wipe your mouth? 334 00:27:19,972 --> 00:27:21,679 It's absolutely disgusting. 335 00:27:32,526 --> 00:27:35,940 What are you doing? Don't do that. Just get the stuff out of the back. 336 00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:55,588 I believe we have a junior suite on reservation? 337 00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:59,292 Yes, we have you in our Loch Lomond suite, 338 00:27:59,761 --> 00:28:01,377 with a balcony and a pool view. 339 00:28:01,763 --> 00:28:03,575 Would you like me to keep the reservation charges 340 00:28:03,599 --> 00:28:05,090 under Von Donschlonger? 341 00:28:05,184 --> 00:28:08,052 - It's Von Donkensteiger. - Is that German? 342 00:28:08,562 --> 00:28:11,600 Yes. Actually, my father was a German Shepherd. 343 00:28:11,815 --> 00:28:12,815 He looked quite like you. 344 00:28:13,066 --> 00:28:14,102 You mean, like the dog? 345 00:28:14,735 --> 00:28:16,021 Yeah, like the woof-woof. 346 00:28:16,987 --> 00:28:18,774 Hmmm! Hm. 347 00:28:18,906 --> 00:28:20,272 We are very excited for 348 00:28:20,657 --> 00:28:27,075 An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn, for one magical night only. 349 00:28:28,999 --> 00:28:30,115 Hmm. 350 00:28:33,295 --> 00:28:35,503 You look more like a dog than a dog does. 351 00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:51,979 No. 352 00:29:25,973 --> 00:29:28,590 One of those jets is shooting water up the back of my shorts. 353 00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:33,181 It's quite a delicious feeling. 354 00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:50,133 Let's go downstairs. 355 00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:58,517 Good evening, I'm the Captain. What can I get you folks? 356 00:30:59,066 --> 00:31:01,399 I would like a Rumble in the Heather. 357 00:31:01,902 --> 00:31:03,438 And I'll have a Rum and a Ramble. 358 00:31:04,237 --> 00:31:05,444 Coming up. 359 00:31:07,949 --> 00:31:09,594 You know, those might have poo on them. 360 00:31:09,618 --> 00:31:11,530 You don't want to get poo in your mouth, do you? 361 00:31:12,829 --> 00:31:15,663 Oh, no. No, we're not eating these poo nuts. 362 00:31:15,916 --> 00:31:19,330 Here you go, ma'am. Here's your drink. And here you go, sir. 363 00:31:19,753 --> 00:31:22,917 Thank you, Captain, and, uh, let's get some fresh nuts, huh? 364 00:31:24,007 --> 00:31:26,124 Poo nuts. You know what I'm talking about. 365 00:31:30,972 --> 00:31:32,679 And here's my nuts. 366 00:31:37,270 --> 00:31:39,557 I feel like we've been on the go for days 367 00:31:39,648 --> 00:31:42,732 and we haven't had any time to just sit and catch up. 368 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,602 Well, I'm really glad that we're getting to catch up, 369 00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:47,820 but we're not really on the go, we're on the run. 370 00:31:48,115 --> 00:31:50,323 Your brother's after us, and I wouldn't be surprised 371 00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:52,196 if he kills me, but I think you will be fine. 372 00:31:52,285 --> 00:31:54,868 You know, you can be really depressing sometimes. 373 00:31:54,955 --> 00:31:56,140 I don't find myself depressing. 374 00:31:56,164 --> 00:31:58,764 - Here's to not being depressing. - I don't think I am depressing. 375 00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:05,458 Here comes Mr Beverly. 376 00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:08,215 He makes you nervous, doesn't he? 377 00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:11,697 And he's with his bearded friend, and they're coming this way. 378 00:32:11,721 --> 00:32:13,132 What a lovely evening, isn't it? 379 00:32:14,057 --> 00:32:15,057 Yes, it is. 380 00:32:15,892 --> 00:32:17,428 Oh, uh, Colin. 381 00:32:18,019 --> 00:32:21,103 - Rodney. - Rodney, this is Lulu. 382 00:32:33,577 --> 00:32:35,577 Mr Rodney, I believe your booth is ready. 383 00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:37,464 - Can you come with me, please? - Absolutely. 384 00:32:47,716 --> 00:32:50,459 He's not very chatty, is he, Mr Beverly? 385 00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:07,562 You know, I feel like I don't know anything about you, Colin. 386 00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:08,838 Why don't you tell me something? 387 00:33:08,862 --> 00:33:10,774 Why don't you tell me the story of Colin? 388 00:33:11,323 --> 00:33:14,031 You better settle in because it's a long and interesting tale. 389 00:33:16,453 --> 00:33:17,453 Okay. 390 00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:22,657 So, my father's name was Keith, and his father was also called Keith, 391 00:33:23,210 --> 00:33:26,169 uh, so that's two generations of Keiths in my family, 392 00:33:26,254 --> 00:33:27,995 so it's a bit of a tradition. 393 00:33:28,465 --> 00:33:31,674 And my father had an Uncle Colin, who he loved very much, 394 00:33:32,677 --> 00:33:33,838 and he loved the name Colin, 395 00:33:34,387 --> 00:33:36,925 and he wanted to be called Colin himself. 396 00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:39,678 In fact, sometimes he would introduce himself to people 397 00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:41,763 calling himself Colin as a joke. 398 00:33:42,646 --> 00:33:45,354 Anyway, he looked up the name Colin, 399 00:33:45,732 --> 00:33:49,100 and it meant "small young dog". 400 00:33:49,528 --> 00:33:51,064 And so, when I was born, 401 00:33:51,905 --> 00:33:54,147 he thought, "He looks like a small young dog." 402 00:33:54,324 --> 00:33:57,362 And he named me Colin because I was born with teeth. 403 00:34:01,748 --> 00:34:02,748 What? 404 00:34:05,377 --> 00:34:06,377 That's it? 405 00:34:12,509 --> 00:34:15,752 That is by far the most uninteresting story I have ever heard. 406 00:34:16,429 --> 00:34:17,789 Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. 407 00:34:29,442 --> 00:34:30,842 We should go sit with them. Come on. 408 00:34:32,404 --> 00:34:33,520 Let's go. 409 00:34:46,209 --> 00:34:47,575 Oh, do you mind if we join you? 410 00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:52,497 We haven't properly met yet, Mr Beverly. 411 00:34:52,632 --> 00:34:55,545 It's Mr Luff Linn, and it's two words. 412 00:35:01,308 --> 00:35:02,719 Luff Linn. 413 00:35:03,393 --> 00:35:05,680 Beverly, this is Colin and this is Lulu. 414 00:35:10,191 --> 00:35:11,727 Beverly and I are partners. 415 00:35:12,319 --> 00:35:15,483 Ah. You are... You're partners. Ah. 416 00:35:15,697 --> 00:35:17,359 It's a platonic union. 417 00:35:18,867 --> 00:35:20,074 That sounds nice. 418 00:35:22,495 --> 00:35:23,531 Is it nice? 419 00:35:23,830 --> 00:35:26,197 Yes. I mean, it's difficult to describe, 420 00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:28,371 but let's just say that we love each other very much. 421 00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:31,126 Colin and I are married. 422 00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:36,360 How long have you been married for? 423 00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:37,670 Two months. 424 00:35:39,179 --> 00:35:40,340 Funny, isn't it? 425 00:35:41,097 --> 00:35:46,058 You come into a shithole town in the middle of nowhere, like this, 426 00:35:46,978 --> 00:35:48,935 and suddenly everything is very difficult. 427 00:35:50,482 --> 00:35:54,021 I have to buy Beverly this tea that he loves, the Earl Grey. 428 00:35:54,486 --> 00:35:55,806 I'm sure you haven't heard of it. 429 00:35:56,488 --> 00:35:58,855 So, I went into the local village this morning, 430 00:35:58,948 --> 00:36:00,735 and I gotta say, it was a real struggle, 431 00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:04,114 but eventually I found it, 432 00:36:05,372 --> 00:36:10,117 and, uh, Beverly has the satisfaction of getting the tea that he loves, 433 00:36:10,210 --> 00:36:15,251 and I have the satisfaction of being the one who got it for him. 434 00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:17,300 Are you going to put an earring back in that hole? 435 00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:20,593 Hmm? 436 00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:25,432 Yes. 437 00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:35,317 Do excuse us. 438 00:36:42,534 --> 00:36:44,400 You should put an earring back in that hole. 439 00:36:44,703 --> 00:36:46,194 You should do what they say. 440 00:36:59,008 --> 00:37:01,500 Let it out and play. 441 00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:04,549 Come on, Bev. 442 00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:11,390 That's it, let it out. 443 00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:16,065 Let that devil out. 444 00:37:19,195 --> 00:37:24,190 There she blows, there she blows. 445 00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:03,191 You look tired, Shane. 446 00:38:03,448 --> 00:38:04,859 I hit the bottle last night. 447 00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:07,738 Me too. Brenda finally kicked me out. 448 00:38:08,745 --> 00:38:10,281 Isn't Brenda your cousin? 449 00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:14,119 Yeah, I don't think she's attracted to me any more 'cause I got fat. 450 00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:16,492 Oh, I thought you were always fat. 451 00:38:16,669 --> 00:38:18,035 No, I used to be skinny. 452 00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:20,587 I think it's great that you're dating your cousin, Tyrone. 453 00:38:21,549 --> 00:38:22,585 Thank you, Shane. 454 00:38:27,305 --> 00:38:28,591 What the fuck is that, Carl? 455 00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:32,717 It's a poster. Some bearded guy dropped it off last night. 456 00:38:33,269 --> 00:38:34,269 Bearded guy? 457 00:38:34,354 --> 00:38:37,347 Yeah, he looked like Michael McDonald from the Doobie Brothers. 458 00:38:38,483 --> 00:38:39,894 Who are the Doobie Brothers? 459 00:38:41,486 --> 00:38:43,478 "Beverly Luff Linn." 460 00:38:46,616 --> 00:38:49,056 It's the same black guy from the poster at the store, 461 00:38:50,036 --> 00:38:52,494 and that's Lulu with him in every single photograph. 462 00:38:53,206 --> 00:38:54,947 Yes, Tyrone. 463 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,038 It looks like they are having a pretty great time together, Shane. 464 00:38:59,796 --> 00:39:00,832 Oh, Tyrone. 465 00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:05,374 Listen to me. This man is in town. 466 00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:09,299 He is having an event at the Moorhouse Hotel. 467 00:39:10,348 --> 00:39:15,184 I don't know what this event is, but Lulu has gone missing. 468 00:39:17,313 --> 00:39:19,396 Tyrone... 469 00:39:21,901 --> 00:39:26,521 We need to go to the hotel. Immediately. To see if she is there. 470 00:39:26,948 --> 00:39:28,109 Yes, we do, Shane. 471 00:39:28,283 --> 00:39:30,741 We need to go to the hotel immediately to see if she is there. 472 00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:33,152 Immediately. 473 00:39:33,288 --> 00:39:34,654 - Immediately. - Immediately. 474 00:39:35,164 --> 00:39:36,164 Immediately. 475 00:39:36,457 --> 00:39:37,493 Immediately. 476 00:39:38,251 --> 00:39:40,208 Immediately. 477 00:39:40,461 --> 00:39:45,581 - Immediately. - Immediately. 478 00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:48,087 Immediately. 479 00:39:50,722 --> 00:39:53,806 Good evening. My name is Lawrence. Welcome to the Moorhouse Hotel. 480 00:39:54,934 --> 00:39:57,017 That man there, is he here in the hotel? 481 00:39:57,103 --> 00:39:59,641 I need to see him. I must speak with him. It's urgent. 482 00:39:59,772 --> 00:40:02,252 Sir, you are more than welcome to wait in our Captain's Lounge. 483 00:40:03,776 --> 00:40:05,017 Is the Captain in his lounge? 484 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:09,030 No, the Captain is not in his fucking lounge! 485 00:40:34,641 --> 00:40:36,678 Mmm. 486 00:40:42,774 --> 00:40:44,140 I love cold beer! 487 00:40:44,233 --> 00:40:45,519 I get you cold beer! 488 00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:47,143 I love cold beer! 489 00:40:47,403 --> 00:40:49,110 I get you cold beer! 490 00:40:49,322 --> 00:40:51,689 Oh, I love cold beer! 491 00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:08,626 I know, I know. We'll sort it out. 492 00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:20,225 You're late, Tyrone. 493 00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:22,394 What happened? I was worried stiff. 494 00:41:22,772 --> 00:41:23,772 He's there, Shane. 495 00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:25,898 They got a life-sized poster of him in the lobby. 496 00:41:26,025 --> 00:41:28,385 He's being pushed around in a wheelchair by the bearded man. 497 00:41:28,653 --> 00:41:32,488 Hello, Shane. You look fat today. 498 00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:36,443 Like I said, I am coming back every day, and here I am. 499 00:41:37,161 --> 00:41:38,823 Where is my fucking money? 500 00:41:39,163 --> 00:41:42,702 I don't have your money, Adjay, but do you know this man? 501 00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:51,336 Where the fuck did this come from? 502 00:41:51,592 --> 00:41:53,549 This guy who looked like Michael McDonald 503 00:41:53,594 --> 00:41:55,194 from the Doobie Brothers dropped it off. 504 00:41:55,263 --> 00:41:56,754 There's a big event happening. 505 00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,467 Adjay, I found a box of pictures of Lulu with this man. 506 00:42:00,685 --> 00:42:02,847 It was hidden in her underwear drawer. 507 00:42:03,146 --> 00:42:04,432 That man is dead. 508 00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:09,066 That man ain't dead. That man is in a wheelchair at the Moorhouse Hotel. 509 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:10,692 That man is dead. 510 00:42:11,237 --> 00:42:13,103 That man fucking drowned. 511 00:42:13,948 --> 00:42:17,237 And I want my fucking money, Shane! 512 00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:19,409 That man ain't dead. 513 00:42:31,841 --> 00:42:32,841 Hello? 514 00:42:42,852 --> 00:42:44,684 Excuse me. 515 00:42:45,063 --> 00:42:46,063 I don't understand. 516 00:42:47,356 --> 00:42:49,156 Wait, there's Rodney. Ask him what's going on. 517 00:42:49,525 --> 00:42:50,641 I'm going in. 518 00:42:52,612 --> 00:42:54,353 Excuse me, excuse me, Mr Rodney. 519 00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:56,818 Uh... Is everything okay with Mr Beverly? 520 00:42:57,450 --> 00:42:59,407 Mr Luff Linn just needs some peace and quiet. 521 00:42:59,494 --> 00:43:00,774 He doesn't need to be disturbed. 522 00:43:01,370 --> 00:43:02,486 Is he dead? 523 00:43:02,789 --> 00:43:05,532 I've no idea. I'm not a doctor. 524 00:43:09,087 --> 00:43:11,315 I just don't understand why you're so stressed out 525 00:43:11,339 --> 00:43:13,001 about this Mr Beverly event. 526 00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:18,336 I realise you don't understand, but the thing is, I do understand. 527 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:20,680 Okay then. You know what? 528 00:43:20,765 --> 00:43:23,257 I'm going out, and I'm gonna feast on snacks. 529 00:43:24,018 --> 00:43:28,388 Good! I hope you feast on snacks and you get so fat that your pants split! 530 00:43:28,981 --> 00:43:31,689 Oh, you would love it if my pants split! 531 00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:33,275 I would! 532 00:43:39,659 --> 00:43:40,991 I see you're writing again. 533 00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:44,111 Come on, I'll run you a bath. 534 00:43:48,251 --> 00:43:50,618 I saw that dreadful couple downstairs. 535 00:43:51,129 --> 00:43:53,917 They seem pretty pissed off that the show has been postponed. 536 00:44:03,224 --> 00:44:04,260 Well, well, well. 537 00:44:07,937 --> 00:44:11,601 Um, I think I'm going to have a bit of a siesta now. 538 00:44:12,191 --> 00:44:13,557 Hmmm! 539 00:44:16,070 --> 00:44:18,437 You really should start writing again. 540 00:44:19,657 --> 00:44:22,821 You write beautifully. You have a real way with words. 541 00:44:24,036 --> 00:44:25,243 Hmmm! 542 00:44:57,737 --> 00:45:00,730 Hmmm! 543 00:45:05,244 --> 00:45:06,701 Hmmm! 544 00:45:07,079 --> 00:45:08,786 Yes, I will make sure that she gets it. 545 00:45:15,504 --> 00:45:16,915 I just saw Mr Beverly. 546 00:45:17,006 --> 00:45:19,840 And he looked fine, exceptionally healthy in fact. 547 00:45:20,343 --> 00:45:22,801 And I saw magical event posters all over town. 548 00:45:24,138 --> 00:45:25,258 What are you thinking about? 549 00:45:25,348 --> 00:45:27,148 Because I'll tell you what I'm thinking about. 550 00:45:27,308 --> 00:45:30,346 I'm thinking about how I met your fat brother in the laundromat, 551 00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:33,270 and I was promised to be paid $200, 552 00:45:33,356 --> 00:45:35,222 of which I have received nothing! 553 00:45:35,566 --> 00:45:38,354 I'm a professional! I make things happen! 554 00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:39,605 And now what do I do? 555 00:45:39,820 --> 00:45:43,780 I'm just protecting you so that you can see Mr Beverly and his magic event. 556 00:45:44,033 --> 00:45:48,698 And I haven't even mentioned his fat, bearded, chipmunk-faced piggy partner, 557 00:45:48,871 --> 00:45:53,115 who needs a punch right in his tightly-packed, poo-filled anus hole. 558 00:45:55,378 --> 00:45:57,290 I'll pay you the $200, okay? 559 00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:02,045 No, no, no, it's not about that. It's not about the money. Oh, no! 560 00:46:02,385 --> 00:46:03,592 It's not about the money! 561 00:46:04,887 --> 00:46:08,130 Now Colin has opened his big hairy trap, and Lulu hates him! 562 00:46:14,981 --> 00:46:15,981 Colin. 563 00:46:22,905 --> 00:46:24,112 I have an idea. 564 00:46:24,907 --> 00:46:28,275 How about the two of us go out for an old-fashioned night on the town? 565 00:46:28,953 --> 00:46:29,953 What do you say? 566 00:46:32,957 --> 00:46:34,038 I'd really like that. 567 00:46:38,254 --> 00:46:39,790 Let's paint the town, Colin. 568 00:46:45,219 --> 00:46:48,132 Oh, I need to go to the toilet. 569 00:46:50,850 --> 00:46:51,850 Okay. 570 00:47:03,279 --> 00:47:04,815 Oh, my God, why are you here? 571 00:47:04,989 --> 00:47:07,197 I found this box in your underwear drawer, 572 00:47:07,283 --> 00:47:10,492 with all these pictures of you and the Luff Linn poster man. 573 00:47:11,078 --> 00:47:12,319 Is this why you're here? 574 00:47:16,042 --> 00:47:17,042 Let go of me! 575 00:47:17,293 --> 00:47:20,377 Is he still alive? Because I heard he was dead! 576 00:47:21,339 --> 00:47:23,422 Get off of me. 577 00:47:24,383 --> 00:47:29,970 Security, this man is accosting me! Security! Security! 578 00:47:30,890 --> 00:47:34,224 Ow! My fucking ear, you fat fuck! 579 00:47:45,029 --> 00:47:49,069 Who the fuck is Beverly Luff Linn? 580 00:47:54,205 --> 00:47:56,322 Oh, shit! What happened, Shane? 581 00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:58,832 Got kicked in the stomach. 582 00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:03,541 I gotta go get my mom from the clinic. 583 00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:05,922 That's fine, just drive. 584 00:48:08,844 --> 00:48:10,005 Did you get kicked hard? 585 00:48:12,473 --> 00:48:14,089 I should've blown out his kneecaps. 586 00:48:16,102 --> 00:48:17,388 I'm very protective. 587 00:48:23,359 --> 00:48:25,066 You put your earring back in, didn't you? 588 00:48:25,486 --> 00:48:27,944 Oh, yes. Yeah, I did. 589 00:48:30,032 --> 00:48:31,944 The mystery of Colin is deepening. 590 00:48:34,328 --> 00:48:36,365 Go deeper, if you dare. 591 00:48:40,918 --> 00:48:43,376 May I indulge you in a childhood story? 592 00:48:44,755 --> 00:48:45,962 Give it to me, Colin. 593 00:48:49,218 --> 00:48:52,677 My Grandmother Eileen used to have these hard candies 594 00:48:52,763 --> 00:48:56,177 that were dusted in icing sugar. They were a real treat to be had. 595 00:48:56,851 --> 00:48:59,093 Now I'm getting to the major part of the story. 596 00:48:59,728 --> 00:49:02,471 When I was a little boy, I didn't like to, uh... 597 00:49:03,858 --> 00:49:05,850 Do poo-poos inside, 598 00:49:06,026 --> 00:49:08,769 so I would march into the wood for hours, 599 00:49:08,904 --> 00:49:13,069 just waiting until I had to go, you know... 600 00:49:13,909 --> 00:49:15,762 And I would just do it right there in the woods, 601 00:49:15,786 --> 00:49:17,527 or I would do it on a rock, 602 00:49:17,663 --> 00:49:20,451 or I would, um, dig a little hole and cover it with leaves, 603 00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:23,997 but it's not the way that we want little boys to go potty, is it? 604 00:49:26,380 --> 00:49:27,380 No, it is not. 605 00:49:28,048 --> 00:49:32,213 So, my grandmother, very cleverly, decided to give me these candies, 606 00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:34,215 which I was crazy about, whenever... 607 00:49:36,682 --> 00:49:38,799 Doo-doos would come out indoors. 608 00:49:40,895 --> 00:49:43,262 So, whenever I went poopy inside, 609 00:49:43,355 --> 00:49:45,438 I would run down the hallway, yelling, 610 00:49:45,941 --> 00:49:48,775 "Grammy, Grammy, come and look in the bowl! Come and look in the bowl!" 611 00:49:49,111 --> 00:49:51,068 And then we would all gather around the bowl 612 00:49:51,155 --> 00:49:54,193 and just look inside and count the doo-doos, and guess what? 613 00:49:57,620 --> 00:49:58,620 What? 614 00:49:59,205 --> 00:50:01,037 She would give me a piece of candy 615 00:50:01,248 --> 00:50:05,083 for every piece of poo-poo that I would produce. 616 00:50:05,586 --> 00:50:08,875 One time, I got 14 pieces of candy. 617 00:50:12,801 --> 00:50:14,542 Grammy passed away some time ago. 618 00:50:14,845 --> 00:50:16,805 She was hit in the back of her head with a hammer. 619 00:50:17,556 --> 00:50:22,426 Okay, enough stories. It's time. I'm gonna lay it on the line. 620 00:50:26,273 --> 00:50:29,516 Lulu, I may be a great deal younger than you, 621 00:50:30,444 --> 00:50:32,026 but I think you are the most beautiful, 622 00:50:33,113 --> 00:50:36,322 most interesting woman that I have ever met. 623 00:50:37,618 --> 00:50:41,077 And, yes, I know everybody else thinks that too, 624 00:50:42,623 --> 00:50:43,830 but I need to know... 625 00:50:44,667 --> 00:50:47,000 And please be honest with me. I need to know... 626 00:50:49,338 --> 00:50:55,630 If any part of you is attracted to any part of me. 627 00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:12,062 This is so unexpected. 628 00:51:12,736 --> 00:51:14,773 That's okay, you don't have to answer immediately. 629 00:51:14,863 --> 00:51:17,133 Look, I'm just in a very emotional place right now, you know? 630 00:51:17,157 --> 00:51:19,865 I just left my husband, and I have this event tomorrow night. 631 00:51:19,952 --> 00:51:22,490 Colin! Colin! Colin! Colin! Colin! 632 00:51:22,955 --> 00:51:26,699 Selfish! Selfish! Selfish! Selfish! 633 00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:33,089 Crabs. 634 00:51:33,716 --> 00:51:34,716 Yummy! 635 00:51:39,346 --> 00:51:41,884 I had tickets to the magical Luff Linn, 636 00:51:43,267 --> 00:51:45,554 but I heard he had been delayed 24 hours. 637 00:51:49,857 --> 00:51:55,398 What makes the Luff Linn so magical, Mrs Paris? 638 00:52:41,158 --> 00:52:44,276 Psst. Miss Lulu. 639 00:52:50,459 --> 00:52:51,459 Yes? 640 00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:52,543 I have this for you. 641 00:52:57,841 --> 00:52:58,841 Thank you. 642 00:52:58,926 --> 00:52:59,926 Good evening. 643 00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:04,846 What did Mr Lawrence want? 644 00:53:05,557 --> 00:53:08,265 He was just making sure you were protecting me. 645 00:53:09,645 --> 00:53:10,645 I am. 646 00:53:18,112 --> 00:53:19,523 I'm gonna go get ready for bed. 647 00:53:57,693 --> 00:53:59,559 Hmmm! 648 00:54:01,613 --> 00:54:02,694 Hmm? 649 00:54:04,825 --> 00:54:06,657 Is this our song? 650 00:54:09,037 --> 00:54:10,824 Lord, this brings back memories. 651 00:54:11,790 --> 00:54:13,747 Endless nights in the Lamb and Lily. 652 00:54:15,586 --> 00:54:16,747 First time I saw you. 653 00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:20,623 And you looked very smart with your orange hat. 654 00:54:20,758 --> 00:54:21,794 Hmmm! 655 00:54:25,053 --> 00:54:26,965 Right. Tea and bed, Bev. 656 00:54:45,783 --> 00:54:47,319 You look relaxed, Colin. 657 00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:49,822 Yeah, I'm just reading about Palominos. 658 00:54:49,912 --> 00:54:51,744 They're a very sought-after parade horse. 659 00:54:52,539 --> 00:54:53,950 Very pretty horse, I must say. 660 00:54:58,629 --> 00:54:59,710 Well, I'm wiped. 661 00:55:02,090 --> 00:55:03,090 Good night. 662 00:55:05,302 --> 00:55:07,382 Would you like me to read you a couple of paragraphs? 663 00:55:10,599 --> 00:55:11,599 No, thanks. 664 00:55:28,367 --> 00:55:29,699 There we go. 665 00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:20,499 You look surprised. You expecting somebody else? 666 00:56:23,297 --> 00:56:24,297 No. 667 00:56:24,590 --> 00:56:28,459 No? Good. Because there will be nobody else performing here tonight. 668 00:56:29,344 --> 00:56:30,460 The show's over. 669 00:57:17,684 --> 00:57:19,676 Yes. 670 00:57:21,229 --> 00:57:22,229 Yes. 671 00:57:25,692 --> 00:57:27,399 - No. - Yes. 672 00:57:27,527 --> 00:57:30,144 No. Oh, God, no. 673 00:57:30,364 --> 00:57:32,204 I'm sorry, I must have gotten in the wrong bed. 674 00:57:32,282 --> 00:57:33,818 I like you in my bed, it's fine. 675 00:57:33,951 --> 00:57:36,095 - No. No, it's not fine. - It's fine. I like you in my bed. 676 00:57:36,119 --> 00:57:38,782 No, Colin, it's not fine. I'm sorry. 677 00:57:43,085 --> 00:57:45,452 Actually, Colin, I have my period. 678 00:57:46,421 --> 00:57:49,505 Can you run to the drug store and get me some heavy flow tampons? 679 00:57:49,591 --> 00:57:51,583 The green box. It's an emergency. 680 00:57:52,970 --> 00:57:54,427 I'm going as fast as I can. 681 00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:21,516 - Good morning, Lawrence. - Good morning, Miss Lulu. 682 00:58:21,540 --> 00:58:24,157 Can you please see that this gets to Mr Luff Linn? 683 00:58:25,293 --> 00:58:27,706 It must be delivered to him 684 00:58:27,796 --> 00:58:31,210 when his male bearded partner is not present. Is that clear? 685 00:58:31,591 --> 00:58:33,151 He will receive the message right away. 686 00:58:34,761 --> 00:58:37,378 - Thank you. - Ta-ta. 687 00:58:49,901 --> 00:58:52,484 Skinny little pig. 688 00:58:58,035 --> 00:59:00,743 Strong coffee, Bev. This should wake you up. 689 00:59:01,204 --> 00:59:02,445 Hmmm. 690 00:59:03,290 --> 00:59:05,373 I had to haul a special someone 691 00:59:05,792 --> 00:59:09,786 all the way from the armchair to the queen-sized bed last night. 692 00:59:10,255 --> 00:59:11,587 Hmmm. 693 00:59:12,132 --> 00:59:14,749 Now, this may look like a lot of food, 694 00:59:15,427 --> 00:59:16,587 but you should eat all of it. 695 00:59:16,970 --> 00:59:18,006 Hmmm. 696 00:59:18,096 --> 00:59:20,463 I'm just concerned about your health. I'm not badgering. 697 00:59:22,517 --> 00:59:24,679 Good morning to you both. 698 00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:29,935 My name is Kennedy Gordon. I am the manager of the Moorhouse Hotel. 699 00:59:30,650 --> 00:59:33,688 It is a pleasure finally having you stay with us. 700 00:59:33,904 --> 00:59:34,904 Hmmm. 701 00:59:35,030 --> 00:59:36,692 I also wanted to check in with you 702 00:59:36,782 --> 00:59:39,365 regarding our evening with Beverly Luff Linn, 703 00:59:39,743 --> 00:59:43,362 and whether we're all set for this evening. 704 00:59:43,955 --> 00:59:46,163 Yes, at this precise moment, I would say we're all set 705 00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:48,704 for this evening's performance. Isn't that right, Bev? 706 00:59:49,294 --> 00:59:51,081 Hmm. 707 00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:56,841 Oh, and Lawrence asked me to give you this letter in private, Mr Luff Linn. 708 01:00:01,056 --> 01:00:02,056 What... 709 01:00:10,482 --> 01:00:13,896 Um... Please enjoy your breakfast! 710 01:00:16,154 --> 01:00:17,270 Should we open it? 711 01:00:30,127 --> 01:00:33,996 So, I get up at 1:00 a.m. to see you alone, finally, 712 01:00:34,548 --> 01:00:37,416 and you send your creepy bearded partner. Why? 713 01:00:38,677 --> 01:00:39,963 Anything interesting? 714 01:00:40,971 --> 01:00:42,303 Hmmm. 715 01:00:45,475 --> 01:00:46,886 Right, when you finish that steak, 716 01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:49,518 those eggs, that steak on that plate with those eggs, 717 01:00:49,938 --> 01:00:52,351 the orange, if you want, and there's a boiled egg there, 718 01:00:52,566 --> 01:00:54,933 the toast, and I want you to have the jam with the toast. 719 01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:58,023 We're gonna hit the fitness centre and loosen your hips for this evening. 720 01:00:58,155 --> 01:01:00,363 Hmmmm! 721 01:01:07,831 --> 01:01:12,872 You're in great shape, but your pelvis is kinked. 722 01:01:22,053 --> 01:01:25,217 I got them. I had to go to three different stores to get them. 723 01:01:25,390 --> 01:01:27,660 The first store said they wouldn't have them in for a month, 724 01:01:27,684 --> 01:01:30,580 and I said, "That's no use. It's a monthly cycle," and the second store... 725 01:01:34,649 --> 01:01:36,936 Listen to me, you little bitch. We got your note. 726 01:01:37,235 --> 01:01:38,351 I told you to back off. 727 01:01:38,653 --> 01:01:40,653 You shouldn't speak to a lady like that, Mr Rodney. 728 01:01:40,739 --> 01:01:43,277 Shut up. This is your final warning. 729 01:01:49,915 --> 01:01:52,828 What? Are you gonna chew me out now too? 730 01:01:53,335 --> 01:01:54,451 How about you? 731 01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:19,399 Drive! 732 01:02:29,496 --> 01:02:34,207 I just witnessed two male suspicious figures driving a blue sports coupé. 733 01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:38,294 They were wearing wigs, and when I noticed them, they sped off. 734 01:02:39,881 --> 01:02:41,372 That'll be Shane and Tyrone. 735 01:02:49,724 --> 01:02:51,636 Colin, do you think you could give me a massage? 736 01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:56,604 Yes, I can. 737 01:03:15,542 --> 01:03:17,182 You're getting really good at this, Colin. 738 01:03:18,545 --> 01:03:20,105 Then you won't mind me telling you that 739 01:03:20,171 --> 01:03:22,834 I saw Mr Beverly in the fitness centre exercising, 740 01:03:22,924 --> 01:03:24,335 and I pulled the finger at him. 741 01:03:25,051 --> 01:03:28,465 What? Colin, why would you do that? 742 01:03:29,264 --> 01:03:31,301 Look, I don't need you causing any more trouble 743 01:03:31,391 --> 01:03:33,804 than there already is, okay? Please. 744 01:03:35,478 --> 01:03:36,685 I'm going for a walk. 745 01:03:44,863 --> 01:03:48,402 You will always be alone, Colin, with that big hairy trap of yours! 746 01:03:48,783 --> 01:03:50,399 Why is it so hairy? 747 01:03:55,957 --> 01:03:57,197 Would you like to come with me? 748 01:04:00,795 --> 01:04:01,956 I would like that. 749 01:04:04,049 --> 01:04:05,506 And thank you for the tampons. 750 01:04:06,926 --> 01:04:08,758 It was a pleasure to buy your tampons. 751 01:04:57,644 --> 01:04:58,644 Ooh. 752 01:04:59,729 --> 01:05:01,766 Good afternoon. Yes, this is Lawrence, Mr Gordon. 753 01:05:01,856 --> 01:05:06,521 I have Mr Rodney here, Mr Beverly Luff Linn's partner. 754 01:05:07,070 --> 01:05:09,278 Apparently, they would like to delay the event 755 01:05:09,364 --> 01:05:13,153 for another 24 hours. Yes. Okay. 756 01:05:13,451 --> 01:05:14,451 Thank you very much. 757 01:05:15,578 --> 01:05:19,162 - Well? - Mr Gordon will be here very shortly. 758 01:05:30,468 --> 01:05:33,961 Good day, Mr Rodney. Lovely to see you again. 759 01:05:35,723 --> 01:05:40,138 Now, we have a full hotel of guests anxiously awaiting 760 01:05:40,228 --> 01:05:44,893 an evening with Beverly Luff Linn, for one magical night only. 761 01:05:45,442 --> 01:05:50,107 And I am happy to accommodate your request for another 24 hours, 762 01:05:50,572 --> 01:05:51,572 but... 763 01:05:53,908 --> 01:05:58,949 I'm afraid there can be no further delays after that. 764 01:05:59,372 --> 01:06:02,240 Am I being clear, Mr Rodney? 765 01:06:03,918 --> 01:06:05,705 Yes, you're being clear. 766 01:06:07,046 --> 01:06:09,413 Wonderful! Wonderful! 767 01:06:14,554 --> 01:06:15,670 Wonderful. 768 01:06:22,687 --> 01:06:23,687 It's open! 769 01:06:34,199 --> 01:06:36,532 - It's her. - Are you sure? 770 01:06:36,826 --> 01:06:38,442 Of course I'm sure. 771 01:06:41,456 --> 01:06:45,370 I have to say, when Beverly Luff Linn said he had taken up with a man, 772 01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:47,542 you are not what I expected. 773 01:06:48,213 --> 01:06:49,545 What, are you from Scotland? 774 01:06:50,048 --> 01:06:53,086 I met Beverly while I was studying embroidery in Aberdeen. 775 01:06:53,218 --> 01:06:58,009 I don't give one, or two, or 17 fucks what you were studying 776 01:06:58,139 --> 01:07:01,348 in Aberdeen or Edinburgh 777 01:07:01,434 --> 01:07:07,396 or the Orkney Islands, ya fucking bushy bearded cunt! 778 01:07:09,025 --> 01:07:10,669 I only pursued your request 779 01:07:10,693 --> 01:07:14,152 because that skinny little pig ended our marriage, 780 01:07:14,781 --> 01:07:16,133 and I wanted to see her in the flesh. 781 01:07:16,157 --> 01:07:17,648 It's supposed to offer closure. 782 01:07:18,493 --> 01:07:19,493 I see. 783 01:07:20,161 --> 01:07:21,161 How'd you get my number? 784 01:07:21,829 --> 01:07:22,829 Beverly gave it to me, 785 01:07:23,206 --> 01:07:26,074 during one of our more marinated sessions in the Lamb and Lily. 786 01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:28,208 He was suffering from acute depression. 787 01:07:28,836 --> 01:07:30,898 He said if ever he was in trouble, I had to contact you. 788 01:07:30,922 --> 01:07:32,122 Please don't contact me again. 789 01:07:36,636 --> 01:07:38,377 Ever again! 790 01:08:10,378 --> 01:08:11,914 Adjay, I've got good news. 791 01:08:12,422 --> 01:08:16,541 That guy Colin is at the Moorhouse Hotel with Lulu. 792 01:08:17,302 --> 01:08:18,543 They should have your money. 793 01:08:18,928 --> 01:08:19,928 So? 794 01:08:20,305 --> 01:08:23,969 So, you should go there, to the Moorhouse Hotel. 795 01:08:25,310 --> 01:08:27,472 There is something you are not getting, Shane. 796 01:08:27,979 --> 01:08:31,268 It seems I was correct to bring Edwin. Edwin! 797 01:08:36,863 --> 01:08:39,401 I hear you have a back room. Can you take me there? 798 01:08:41,492 --> 01:08:42,528 Sure, Edwin. 799 01:09:06,559 --> 01:09:09,017 And I want my fucking money, Shane! 800 01:09:16,277 --> 01:09:17,734 What happened to your face, Shane? 801 01:09:19,364 --> 01:09:22,198 Edwin happened to my face, you big fat penis face. 802 01:09:32,043 --> 01:09:33,659 I wonder why they postponed it again. 803 01:09:34,212 --> 01:09:35,828 Can we please stop discussing it? 804 01:09:41,678 --> 01:09:43,294 How are we doing over here? 805 01:09:43,805 --> 01:09:46,343 Oh, uh, I'll have the usual. Thanks, Captain. 806 01:09:47,350 --> 01:09:48,350 And for you, ma'am? 807 01:09:48,935 --> 01:09:50,221 No, thank you. 808 01:09:51,771 --> 01:09:54,730 I'm not feeling so well, so I'm going to go to my room. 809 01:09:56,109 --> 01:10:01,104 Maybe you're thirsty, or hungry, dehydrated or low blood sugar. 810 01:10:01,864 --> 01:10:05,983 My God, Colin, I just left my husband. Do you even remember that? 811 01:10:07,078 --> 01:10:10,037 I've been holed up in this hotel for days because I'm desperate to see 812 01:10:10,123 --> 01:10:12,911 An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn, for one magical night only, 813 01:10:13,042 --> 01:10:14,802 and I don't know if that's ever gonna happen. 814 01:10:15,211 --> 01:10:18,124 And for some insane reason, I'm being called a little bitch 815 01:10:18,256 --> 01:10:21,795 by Beverly's fat, disgusting, creepy partner, 816 01:10:21,884 --> 01:10:23,125 with his little chipmunk body 817 01:10:23,219 --> 01:10:25,836 shoved into his pants, with his little fat legs. 818 01:10:30,101 --> 01:10:32,718 So, no, I'm not feeling very thirsty or hungry, okay? 819 01:10:35,523 --> 01:10:36,604 Okay. 820 01:10:42,196 --> 01:10:43,596 She's having her period. 821 01:10:43,740 --> 01:10:44,776 Oh, dear. 822 01:10:45,491 --> 01:10:48,655 I had to go to three stores to get green tampons. 823 01:10:51,330 --> 01:10:52,821 Rum and a Ramble for you, sir. 824 01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:00,920 You have beautiful hands. 825 01:11:02,175 --> 01:11:04,167 These two stupid, fat hands? 826 01:11:07,138 --> 01:11:08,299 I'm Paulette. 827 01:11:11,601 --> 01:11:14,435 Nice to meet you, Paulette. I'm Colin. 828 01:11:58,231 --> 01:12:00,393 So, it's a bit of a tradition in my family 829 01:12:00,483 --> 01:12:02,395 for the men to be named Keith, 830 01:12:03,110 --> 01:12:05,227 but my father just loved the name Colin, 831 01:12:05,863 --> 01:12:10,073 and so it came to pass that he named me, his only son... 832 01:12:10,993 --> 01:12:12,154 Colin. 833 01:12:12,453 --> 01:12:14,945 Colin Keith Threadener, 834 01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:16,454 so the Keith is still in there. 835 01:12:18,584 --> 01:12:22,168 Yeah, he was a bit of a rebel, my father. 836 01:12:25,299 --> 01:12:29,259 You could fill me with your stories all night long. 837 01:12:30,054 --> 01:12:31,054 Mmm. 838 01:12:32,723 --> 01:12:35,306 Well, it's really nice to hear that at a time like this. 839 01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:42,476 Colin. 840 01:12:43,442 --> 01:12:44,478 Paulette. 841 01:12:45,111 --> 01:12:46,852 Is there some place we can be alone? 842 01:13:01,377 --> 01:13:02,834 That was beautiful. 843 01:13:06,132 --> 01:13:07,464 I like you, Paulette. 844 01:13:08,843 --> 01:13:12,837 Eh, that's good, sweetie, that's good. 845 01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:18,718 Now... Uh-huh. 846 01:13:18,853 --> 01:13:20,060 Really good, really good. 847 01:13:20,229 --> 01:13:22,642 Now, that's gonna cost you 50 bucks. 848 01:13:25,109 --> 01:13:26,896 She usually charges $80, 849 01:13:29,196 --> 01:13:31,859 but she said I could pay $50, 850 01:13:33,284 --> 01:13:35,526 and we ended up settling with me only paying $37. 851 01:13:35,620 --> 01:13:37,361 - So, you had sex with a prostitute? - Yes. 852 01:13:37,872 --> 01:13:39,204 We went all the way. 853 01:13:40,458 --> 01:13:42,040 All the way up there, as they say. 854 01:13:42,126 --> 01:13:44,288 Ugh. Well, good for you, Colin. 855 01:13:45,212 --> 01:13:46,544 Good night 856 01:13:53,095 --> 01:13:56,964 I was a virgin, and now I'm not. 857 01:13:59,101 --> 01:14:02,845 I understand that. I'm letting them know right now. 858 01:14:03,606 --> 01:14:05,973 Valerie! You have to load the equipment 859 01:14:06,067 --> 01:14:08,309 through the service entrance, not the main entrance! 860 01:14:08,736 --> 01:14:11,570 I don't know where the fucking service entrance is! 861 01:14:11,656 --> 01:14:13,488 I need you to follow the signs, Valerie! 862 01:14:13,574 --> 01:14:16,294 I can't hold your hand through this, as much as you might like me to! 863 01:14:27,129 --> 01:14:29,337 Let's get this baby seal out of bed. 864 01:14:30,925 --> 01:14:33,338 Here's your tea. 865 01:14:34,595 --> 01:14:37,929 - Big night tonight. Showtime. - Hmmm. 866 01:14:38,641 --> 01:14:40,928 Okay, your vaporiser is on, 867 01:14:41,602 --> 01:14:44,140 the sandalwood is infused with lime and tangerine, 868 01:14:44,397 --> 01:14:46,104 the bath salts are by the tub, 869 01:14:46,565 --> 01:14:48,272 the flexing mat is under the window, 870 01:14:48,526 --> 01:14:50,688 and your breakfast is under the cloche. 871 01:14:53,990 --> 01:14:55,276 Are we magical? 872 01:14:56,325 --> 01:14:57,816 Hmm. 873 01:15:04,208 --> 01:15:06,575 Are you upset that I had sex with a prostitute last night? 874 01:15:06,836 --> 01:15:10,420 No. Are you going to get out of bed? Today is the event. 875 01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:13,832 Help! I've slipped and I've fallen into the pond! 876 01:15:14,176 --> 01:15:16,384 Can anybody hear me? I'm trapped under the ice! 877 01:15:16,637 --> 01:15:18,629 Who is Beverly Luff Linn? 878 01:15:18,848 --> 01:15:22,137 Help! I'm trapped! Who is Beverly Luff Linn? 879 01:15:22,435 --> 01:15:25,553 Who is Beverly Luff Linn? Who is... 880 01:15:25,646 --> 01:15:26,887 He was a poet. 881 01:15:30,484 --> 01:15:31,565 Okay? 882 01:15:32,403 --> 01:15:33,735 He was my professor. 883 01:15:35,573 --> 01:15:36,689 We were a couple, 884 01:15:39,201 --> 01:15:41,113 and we were passionately in love. 885 01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:50,578 One spring, he took me to the exotic island of Prami. 886 01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:57,752 There was a bird sanctuary there, and we had the best time. 887 01:15:58,220 --> 01:16:03,841 All we would do is hold hands and sing to the birds. 888 01:16:04,685 --> 01:16:08,178 These funny little birds with flat heads... 889 01:16:10,483 --> 01:16:11,849 Do you know those kinds of birds? 890 01:16:13,110 --> 01:16:16,274 - No. - They're beautiful. 891 01:16:18,741 --> 01:16:20,152 It was heaven. 892 01:16:25,331 --> 01:16:27,914 But on the last day, he said, 893 01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:31,076 "Lulu, I'm going to take you to a secret cove." 894 01:16:32,630 --> 01:16:33,666 We went there, 895 01:16:35,466 --> 01:16:40,052 and he swam ahead of me, out to this point, 896 01:16:40,930 --> 01:16:42,637 and I remember he looked back, 897 01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:48,765 waved at me, and then plunged deep beneath the surface. 898 01:16:50,189 --> 01:16:54,433 And I tried to catch up to him. I swam so fast, 899 01:16:56,570 --> 01:16:57,686 but he never came up, 900 01:16:57,988 --> 01:17:02,198 and I couldn't find him. 901 01:17:05,287 --> 01:17:08,655 So I went back to the hotel, and our friend Cornelius was there. 902 01:17:09,542 --> 01:17:12,159 I remember crying in Cornelius' arms 903 01:17:13,170 --> 01:17:15,127 when they told me that he was dead. 904 01:17:16,006 --> 01:17:17,006 Drowned... 905 01:17:21,011 --> 01:17:22,627 Probably eaten by sharks. 906 01:17:25,933 --> 01:17:27,640 Why didn't you tell me all this before? 907 01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:32,186 Because I've never told anyone before, 908 01:17:34,775 --> 01:17:35,936 except for Adjay, 909 01:17:37,987 --> 01:17:39,774 but he's not interested unless it's vegan. 910 01:17:47,163 --> 01:17:51,123 I've never been in love. At least, not until I met you. 911 01:17:54,253 --> 01:17:56,745 But not the kind that you're talking about, where it's mutual. 912 01:18:01,719 --> 01:18:03,005 Are you still in love with him? 913 01:18:04,972 --> 01:18:06,634 Are you going to get out of bed, Colin? 914 01:18:07,016 --> 01:18:08,696 Are you going to answer the question, Lulu? 915 01:18:08,767 --> 01:18:10,929 No, because I'm brushing my hair. 916 01:18:17,067 --> 01:18:18,603 Uh, Mr Rodney Luff Linn? 917 01:18:18,944 --> 01:18:23,154 It's actually Rodney Von Donkensteiger, but Luff Linn will do. 918 01:18:23,866 --> 01:18:25,903 Uh, Mitch Stemp, events coordinator. 919 01:18:26,410 --> 01:18:27,571 Nice to meet you, Mitch. 920 01:18:27,703 --> 01:18:30,616 I just want to let you know that everything is moving along smoothly, 921 01:18:30,873 --> 01:18:34,787 and I would like to lock the set by 2:00 p.m. today, 922 01:18:34,919 --> 01:18:37,081 if that's okay. If that works for you and Mr Luff Linn. 923 01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:38,996 Yeah, that's fine. 924 01:18:39,924 --> 01:18:42,416 Uh, I just want to confirm 925 01:18:42,676 --> 01:18:46,420 that, uh, Mr Luff Linn will enter from stage left along this line, 926 01:18:46,847 --> 01:18:50,090 and then he will end up in his chair to the right of your good self. 927 01:18:50,392 --> 01:18:52,224 Then he'll sort of, like, go... 928 01:18:52,394 --> 01:18:54,314 No, I get it, you don't have to explain it. Okay. 929 01:18:56,649 --> 01:18:57,730 Great. 930 01:18:58,400 --> 01:18:59,400 Great. 931 01:19:03,656 --> 01:19:06,694 Oh. Am I looking forward to the event. 932 01:19:10,496 --> 01:19:14,831 It will be magical. 933 01:19:23,509 --> 01:19:24,869 Beverly, I want you to look at me. 934 01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:33,133 You and I both know why you chose to hold this event 935 01:19:33,227 --> 01:19:35,435 in this shitbox dickhole hotel. 936 01:19:38,065 --> 01:19:39,727 I know you know what I'm talking about, 937 01:19:41,110 --> 01:19:43,602 but I need to tell you that I love you deeply. 938 01:19:44,863 --> 01:19:46,479 You're the man of my dreams, 939 01:19:47,491 --> 01:19:49,107 and we can survive whatever this is. 940 01:19:50,869 --> 01:19:55,489 For tonight, the event will be magical. 941 01:19:56,542 --> 01:20:02,755 A magical, magical night with my magical, magical Beverly. 942 01:20:06,176 --> 01:20:09,385 And now, I'm going to make you some tea, 943 01:20:10,889 --> 01:20:15,884 and it will be magical. 944 01:20:19,565 --> 01:20:21,602 Hmmm. 945 01:20:25,195 --> 01:20:26,606 Is that really what you're wearing? 946 01:20:28,782 --> 01:20:30,022 You chose these clothes for me. 947 01:20:30,075 --> 01:20:31,515 Well, I think you should wear a tie. 948 01:20:32,286 --> 01:20:34,653 You said I looked good. I don't have a tie. 949 01:20:38,083 --> 01:20:39,699 Can't you just find a tie somewhere? 950 01:20:40,169 --> 01:20:41,705 I think you should calm down. 951 01:20:41,795 --> 01:20:43,815 Well, I really think we should just get down there, okay? 952 01:20:43,839 --> 01:20:45,275 The event doesn't start for an hour. 953 01:20:45,299 --> 01:20:47,319 Why does everyone always have to get so stressed out all the time? 954 01:20:47,343 --> 01:20:48,653 Because I want to get good seats! 955 01:20:48,677 --> 01:20:50,155 Yeah, I know you want to get good seats, 956 01:20:50,179 --> 01:20:53,923 because you want to see Mr Beverly and his partner with his magical beard 957 01:20:54,058 --> 01:20:56,300 do whatever they do in their magical event. 958 01:20:56,643 --> 01:20:58,225 Yes, I do want to see that. 959 01:20:58,562 --> 01:21:00,895 What's so magical about this magical event anyway? 960 01:21:01,273 --> 01:21:05,768 I don't know, but whatever it is, it will probably change your life. 961 01:21:07,321 --> 01:21:09,938 He is by far the most brilliant man I have ever met. 962 01:21:10,616 --> 01:21:13,011 Well, that sounds like I've won the golden ticket, doesn't it? 963 01:21:13,035 --> 01:21:17,245 To the most spectacular evening of whatever the fuck this is, 964 01:21:17,373 --> 01:21:21,367 provided to you by the man who shat all over you in the ocean. 965 01:21:23,212 --> 01:21:25,523 Sorry, that's the first time I've said the words "fuck" and "shat" 966 01:21:25,547 --> 01:21:27,267 in a long time, and they are horrible words. 967 01:21:27,341 --> 01:21:28,341 Well, good for you. 968 01:21:30,219 --> 01:21:33,007 I'm going downstairs, and I'm going to get us front-row seats! 969 01:21:52,574 --> 01:21:54,190 Happy birthday, Lulu. 970 01:21:56,662 --> 01:21:59,575 - What time is it? - 6:50. 971 01:22:00,624 --> 01:22:03,708 Okay. Do we all know what we're doing? 972 01:22:04,586 --> 01:22:06,578 - Yes. - Okay. 973 01:22:07,339 --> 01:22:08,830 Then let's fucking do it! 974 01:22:09,007 --> 01:22:10,464 Let's fucking do it! 975 01:22:10,926 --> 01:22:12,133 Good luck, everyone. 976 01:22:24,148 --> 01:22:26,140 Good evening. Please sit wherever you like. 977 01:22:26,650 --> 01:22:28,061 Ah, good evening, Miss Lulu. 978 01:22:28,861 --> 01:22:30,648 I truly hope you enjoy tonight's show. 979 01:22:30,821 --> 01:22:31,821 Thank you. 980 01:23:05,606 --> 01:23:07,893 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 981 01:23:08,609 --> 01:23:09,725 Good evening. 982 01:23:10,235 --> 01:23:14,024 My name's Kennedy Gordon. I am the manager of the Moorhouse Hotel. 983 01:23:18,952 --> 01:23:22,821 Well, after some delays, I am beyond thrilled 984 01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:25,953 to be standing here introducing this evening's event. 985 01:23:27,794 --> 01:23:31,879 For many of us, this will be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. 986 01:23:32,341 --> 01:23:37,757 So, please, let's just meditate on every moment. 987 01:23:40,015 --> 01:23:41,176 Okay... 988 01:23:42,935 --> 01:23:44,301 Welcome to 989 01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:50,061 An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn, 990 01:23:50,609 --> 01:23:55,024 for one magical night only! 991 01:26:23,762 --> 01:26:26,596 Hmmm! 992 01:26:32,938 --> 01:26:34,975 Thank you. Please, sit. 993 01:26:43,990 --> 01:26:45,822 When I first moved to Aberdeen, 994 01:26:47,661 --> 01:26:50,369 this next piece became my shepherd. 995 01:26:51,623 --> 01:26:55,913 It guided me away from the shame that had trotted up inside me. 996 01:26:58,130 --> 01:27:00,543 I'm sure a lot of you felt the same way I did 997 01:27:01,591 --> 01:27:05,460 on those misty moors of Aberdeenshire. 998 01:27:07,264 --> 01:27:09,881 This next song is about the ocean, 999 01:27:10,559 --> 01:27:11,970 and what it means to be alone. 1000 01:27:13,019 --> 01:27:16,729 Specifically, in Aberdeenshire. 1001 01:28:37,813 --> 01:28:40,100 My real name is Edmund Summers. 1002 01:28:51,910 --> 01:28:53,697 I loved someone once. 1003 01:28:57,415 --> 01:29:00,499 I loved her with every waking moment, 1004 01:29:04,047 --> 01:29:05,538 and then I left her. 1005 01:29:11,429 --> 01:29:12,840 I have a great friend 1006 01:29:13,223 --> 01:29:17,308 who loves me very much. 1007 01:29:18,228 --> 01:29:20,345 He's up on the stage with me tonight. 1008 01:29:25,986 --> 01:29:29,696 Rodney, you're my best friend. 1009 01:29:31,324 --> 01:29:34,567 You look after me, you care for me, 1010 01:29:36,705 --> 01:29:38,287 and I do love you, Rodney. 1011 01:29:43,420 --> 01:29:45,537 But I'm not in love with you, Rodney. 1012 01:29:52,095 --> 01:29:53,677 I left my love with someone else, 1013 01:29:58,518 --> 01:30:00,358 and I don't know if she will ever have me back. 1014 01:30:02,147 --> 01:30:03,888 She's the reason I'm here. 1015 01:30:06,943 --> 01:30:08,275 Happy birthday, Lulu. 1016 01:30:13,700 --> 01:30:15,942 I'd like to dedicate this next song to you. 1017 01:30:16,578 --> 01:30:17,659 It's called... 1018 01:30:19,623 --> 01:30:22,957 Hmmm! Hmm! 1019 01:30:35,889 --> 01:30:36,925 Wait a second! 1020 01:30:39,184 --> 01:30:41,426 That's my wife! 1021 01:30:43,271 --> 01:30:44,557 And it's her birthday, 1022 01:30:45,690 --> 01:30:47,727 and I want to give her a fucking cake. 1023 01:30:57,202 --> 01:30:58,488 Happy birthday, sweetie. 1024 01:31:00,497 --> 01:31:03,490 I've had enough of this shit. We're in the middle of a show. 1025 01:31:11,800 --> 01:31:12,836 Chipmunk! 1026 01:31:34,906 --> 01:31:36,067 Fucking cunts! 1027 01:31:37,701 --> 01:31:39,863 Hmmm. Hmm? 1028 01:31:41,204 --> 01:31:43,321 - That's it? - Lulu. 1029 01:31:44,207 --> 01:31:45,323 What was that all about? 1030 01:31:45,875 --> 01:31:47,582 "I don't know if she'll ever have me back." 1031 01:31:48,128 --> 01:31:49,289 I meant what I said. 1032 01:31:51,798 --> 01:31:53,710 I think I did. Maybe I got carried away. 1033 01:31:54,634 --> 01:31:57,126 I get so anxious before these shows, I can't speak. 1034 01:31:58,179 --> 01:32:00,011 All I say is... Hmmm! 1035 01:32:00,682 --> 01:32:02,344 My stomach hurts, I get gas... 1036 01:32:03,518 --> 01:32:06,135 Well, we all get gas, and then I go up there, 1037 01:32:06,855 --> 01:32:09,723 and sometimes I can't remember a word I say up on that stage. 1038 01:32:10,692 --> 01:32:11,728 So, you didn't mean it? 1039 01:32:12,152 --> 01:32:13,643 I don't know what I mean any more. 1040 01:32:14,362 --> 01:32:15,728 In fact, in this precise moment, 1041 01:32:15,864 --> 01:32:18,652 I don't really know exactly who on Earth I am. 1042 01:32:22,871 --> 01:32:26,535 But what about all the love you left with me? 1043 01:32:27,042 --> 01:32:31,412 Hmmm! You see, you see, I'm doing it again. 1044 01:32:35,759 --> 01:32:37,842 Why did you leave me there alone? 1045 01:32:40,597 --> 01:32:43,214 When I swam past the point and I saw that ocean, 1046 01:32:44,350 --> 01:32:46,012 I knew I had to keep swimming, 1047 01:32:46,644 --> 01:32:47,976 I knew it was the time. 1048 01:32:48,855 --> 01:32:52,690 I know it sounds corny, but something was calling me out there. 1049 01:32:53,276 --> 01:32:54,642 I had to keep swimming. 1050 01:32:57,113 --> 01:32:58,354 But where did you go? 1051 01:32:58,740 --> 01:33:02,154 I swam around the corner, I hid behind a rock. 1052 01:33:02,869 --> 01:33:03,869 What? 1053 01:33:04,162 --> 01:33:06,870 Then that guy Cornelius, remember him from the hotel? 1054 01:33:08,500 --> 01:33:09,500 Yes. 1055 01:33:09,918 --> 01:33:11,454 Well, he was in on it. 1056 01:33:11,753 --> 01:33:13,244 He got me off the island. 1057 01:33:14,005 --> 01:33:15,587 I think I paid him 80 bucks to help me. 1058 01:33:16,257 --> 01:33:17,498 You big witch. 1059 01:33:19,761 --> 01:33:21,002 Who is this guy? 1060 01:33:21,763 --> 01:33:23,174 You're a big witch. 1061 01:33:23,765 --> 01:33:26,599 Are you just gonna poo on her again like you did last time? 1062 01:33:27,352 --> 01:33:28,684 Colin, stay out of this. 1063 01:33:28,770 --> 01:33:30,136 No, I will not stay out of this. 1064 01:33:30,313 --> 01:33:32,521 I've had to put up with Beverly Luff Linn 1065 01:33:32,649 --> 01:33:34,811 and his shit event for the past week 1066 01:33:34,901 --> 01:33:38,986 because the woman I am in love with is in love with him. 1067 01:33:39,072 --> 01:33:41,655 So, no, I will not stay out of this. 1068 01:33:45,078 --> 01:33:48,116 You have no idea, Edmund, how lucky you are 1069 01:33:48,623 --> 01:33:52,287 to even have the possibility of loving this special woman. 1070 01:33:56,089 --> 01:33:57,089 Oh. 1071 01:33:59,717 --> 01:34:01,800 I know all too well how special she is. 1072 01:34:34,627 --> 01:34:38,746 Meine Kleine Lubird. 1073 01:34:50,476 --> 01:34:55,471 Do you know what it feels like when you simply don't belong? 1074 01:34:56,065 --> 01:34:57,065 Yes. 1075 01:35:08,036 --> 01:35:09,572 Edmund, wait! 1076 01:36:04,133 --> 01:36:06,295 Someone drinking a Rum and a Ramble? 1077 01:36:07,553 --> 01:36:10,591 Uh, well, let's see. Yeah, it would appear so. 1078 01:36:12,934 --> 01:36:14,095 And how is it? 1079 01:36:15,186 --> 01:36:17,269 It's as creamy and delicious as the last time. 1080 01:36:19,816 --> 01:36:21,023 Can I join you? 1081 01:36:29,075 --> 01:36:31,283 Captain, I'll have two A Rumble in the Heather. 1082 01:36:31,577 --> 01:36:33,068 Absolutely, Miss Lulu. 1083 01:36:33,246 --> 01:36:35,533 And two more Rum and a Rambles for me, thanks, Captain. 1084 01:36:36,624 --> 01:36:39,583 Going out with a bang at the Moorhouse Hotel? 1085 01:36:40,962 --> 01:36:42,419 I'm driving out in the morning. 1086 01:36:45,717 --> 01:36:46,833 Where are you going? 1087 01:36:47,677 --> 01:36:50,044 Colin would rather that remain top secret, thank you. 1088 01:36:50,138 --> 01:36:52,095 Well, Lulu would like Colin to tell her. 1089 01:36:53,683 --> 01:36:55,470 You don't have access to that information. 1090 01:37:03,318 --> 01:37:07,312 You should know that Edmund was my first love. 1091 01:37:13,578 --> 01:37:14,864 You can have other loves. 1092 01:37:20,710 --> 01:37:22,150 Two Rumbles and a Heather. 1093 01:37:24,881 --> 01:37:26,998 And two large Rum and a Ramble. 1094 01:37:47,987 --> 01:37:48,987 I love this song. 1095 01:37:52,116 --> 01:37:53,232 Don't you love this song? 1096 01:37:54,952 --> 01:37:56,113 I'm not familiar with it. 1097 01:37:57,205 --> 01:37:58,321 But do you love it? 1098 01:38:04,045 --> 01:38:05,045 It's all right. 1099 01:38:06,005 --> 01:38:07,962 But don't you love it? 1100 01:38:12,845 --> 01:38:13,926 Do you want to dance? 1101 01:38:16,015 --> 01:38:18,507 It's been a long time. My moves are rusty. 1102 01:38:19,852 --> 01:38:21,093 It's okay, mine are too. 1103 01:40:36,822 --> 01:40:38,154 You know what I was thinking? 1104 01:40:40,743 --> 01:40:43,326 Every girl needs a Colin, Colin. 1105 01:40:44,872 --> 01:40:46,079 Be right back. 1106 01:40:54,840 --> 01:40:57,833 Now, Colin. Now's the time. 1107 01:41:45,141 --> 01:41:46,257 I love you, Colin. 1108 01:41:52,106 --> 01:41:53,187 What did you say? 1109 01:41:56,485 --> 01:41:57,976 I think I said I love you. 1110 01:42:03,784 --> 01:42:04,900 I love you too, Lulu. 1111 01:43:02,218 --> 01:43:04,005 I'll tell you something, Bev. 1112 01:43:04,595 --> 01:43:06,678 This young pup will be very keen 1113 01:43:06,931 --> 01:43:10,891 to get away from the shitpit dickhole that was the Moorhouse Hotel. 1114 01:43:12,144 --> 01:43:13,180 There's your nibbles. 1115 01:43:13,688 --> 01:43:15,975 Nibbles, Bev. 1116 01:43:18,776 --> 01:43:20,062 Bev, nibbles. 1117 01:43:22,238 --> 01:43:23,445 Nibbles, Bev. 1118 01:43:25,408 --> 01:43:26,489 Bev, nibbles. 1119 01:43:28,619 --> 01:43:30,485 Bev, nibbles. 1120 01:43:32,707 --> 01:43:34,994 Bev, Bev. 1121 01:43:38,295 --> 01:43:39,295 Whoa, Bev! 1122 01:43:39,630 --> 01:43:43,123 Help! Help! Help! Help! 1123 01:43:43,217 --> 01:43:44,674 We've got a death in here! 1124 01:43:45,219 --> 01:43:47,256 Help! Help! 1125 01:43:47,722 --> 01:43:50,089 - This is a death scene! - Hmmm! 1126 01:43:52,059 --> 01:43:54,016 - Hmmm. - Oh, my... 1127 01:43:54,770 --> 01:43:56,386 Good God, Bev. 1128 01:43:57,440 --> 01:44:00,148 You scared the hell out of me. We all thought you'd died. 1129 01:44:05,072 --> 01:44:06,438 Hmmm! 1130 01:44:07,616 --> 01:44:08,732 Hmmm! 83523

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.