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- [Brian] If religious people
are so sure they're going
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to this amazing place when they die,
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why do they cry at funerals?
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- [Jason] Maybe it's because
they're secretly afraid
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that though their loved one
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is going to Heaven, they may not be.
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- [Brian] (laughs) Or vice versa.
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- [Jason] It's probably
connected to why Americans spend
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billions of dollars keeping
their dying loved ones alive
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for an extra week or two or four.
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- [Brian] It's hard to say goodbye.
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♪ Never can say goodbye ♪
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♪ Oh, no, no, no, no ♪
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(both laughing)
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(gentle music)
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- Hey!
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- Hey.
- Hi.
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- Steaks'll be ready in a minute,
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but, until then, I think
you're really gonna like this.
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- Aw, thanks for making dinner.
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- I may not cook like
you or Jason, but steaks,
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that's my wheelhouse.
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How is it?
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- Mm, nice.
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- Jason always made fun of me,
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but there are worse ways to choose a wine
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than by the graphic on the label.
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- There are better ways, too.
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- Oh, the craziest thing
happened on the way home today.
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I ordered a Lyft.
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The car pulls up, I get in,
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and the driver is Debbie Barnes.
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Debbie Barnes.
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She won the Tony Award for
Best Supporting Actress
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in a musical and did
that sitcom that lasted
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about four episodes, and
then she totally disappeared.
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(laughs) Like Jason always said,
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you better enjoy it while you can.
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Hey, you okay?
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- Mm, yeah.
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- You don't like the wine?
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- Oh, no, it's nice.
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It's better than nice.
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- To us.
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- Look, I've been thinking about us.
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- Yeah?
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Given more thought to
us moving in together?
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- In a way.
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- And?
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- You are a terrific guy, Brian.
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- This isn't about us
moving in together, is it?
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- Not exactly.
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But that conversation started me thinking,
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made me look at things honestly.
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- Are you, are you breaking up with me?
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- It's not you.
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- It's you.
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- No, it's Jason.
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- Me?
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- What?
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- I feel like I'm in a
relationship with both of you.
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And three-ways have never been my thing.
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(Brian scoffs)
I'm sorry that was a bad joke.
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- Yeah, it was.
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- You said it.
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- I don't think we've had
a conversation since we met
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that hasn't referenced him.
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- Maybe because his parents introduced us?
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- He's all over this apartment,
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the pictures, the dishes, the stuff.
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He's with us at every meal,
at the movies, in bed.
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And now with this book,
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he's more a part of your life than I am.
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- That's bullshit.
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- Is it?
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- Jason and I had 15 years
together, we've had six months.
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This is so totally out of the blue!
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- Because you don't even
realize how much Saint Jason
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is still present in your
life, day in, day out.
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How am I supposed to compete with that?
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- I'm not asking you to!
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- But you're asking me
to share you with him,
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whether it's conscious or not.
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- Unfortunately, we don't
all have the luxury you had
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of breaking up with our exes,
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of falling out of love
with them, of being happy
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to move on without them,
of it being a choice!
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- You think I don't understand that?
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- Well, it sure as hell
doesn't seem that way!
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- I get how hard this is for you, I do.
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And I know how much you
think you want to move on.
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- Think?
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- But from here, and I'm
telling you this because I care,
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because I like you, because
I could really love you.
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You're not ready.
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- And you're just not willing
to stick around until I am.
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- And how long will that be, Brian, huh?
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Another month, a year, five, 10?
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I think I'd better go.
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And we'll figure out a time
for me to get my things.
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I'm sorry.
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- David, please.
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Don't!
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David!
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Fuck!
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Ah, God!
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Fuck!
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(Brian crying)
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- What the fuck are you doing?
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- No, not now.
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Not now.
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- Not the Alvarez.
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- (laughing) David's right.
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If I want to have a
future, I need you gone.
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- Then why am I still here?
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- I need you out of the apartment.
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- You don't have to get rid of everything.
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Keep some of me!
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That piece, that's us!
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- In time, I will be able to put it back.
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But for now--
- Bullshit, bullshit!
122
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You take that down, you
put it away somewhere,
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00:06:02,130 --> 00:06:03,280
you'll never rehang it.
124
00:06:05,736 --> 00:06:09,496
- You're the one who keeps
encouraging me to move on!
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- Moving on was one thing,
completely erasing me
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is something else all together!
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00:06:15,449 --> 00:06:17,359
- [Brian] (crying) You
think I don't know that?
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- And that's what you want?
129
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- No!
130
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It's not what I want!
131
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But I don't have a choice.
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You didn't, cancer
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didn't give me one!
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- Come here.
135
00:06:36,087 --> 00:06:38,077
- [Brian] Jason, no.
136
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No!
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- Brian, Brian.
138
00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:42,390
Brian, come here!
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00:06:43,985 --> 00:06:46,485
(both crying)
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00:06:49,544 --> 00:06:51,234
I'll take care of you.
141
00:06:51,226 --> 00:06:52,056
I will.
142
00:07:10,510 --> 00:07:12,520
- I know Jason wanted his memorial service
143
00:07:12,517 --> 00:07:16,797
to be filled with crying and drama,
144
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,560
and we've certainly done that,
145
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and a little laughter.
146
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,230
But, years ago,
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before Brian, before Andrew,
148
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,280
Jason and I took a trip to New Orleans.
149
00:07:38,410 --> 00:07:40,840
There was a book fair
he just had to attend,
150
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,890
and I tagged along.
151
00:07:45,550 --> 00:07:50,550
One morning, as we were
grabbing beignets and coffee,
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00:07:53,018 --> 00:07:55,038
(Lisa exhales deeply)
153
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,720
a funeral procession went by,
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people were singing and dancing,
155
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and it was a whole Dixieland band.
156
00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:09,340
And he and I looked at each
other and almost in unison,
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00:08:09,340 --> 00:08:11,290
we said, "Now that's the send-off
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00:08:11,293 --> 00:08:12,773
"that everyone should have!"
159
00:08:12,766 --> 00:08:15,766
(audience laughs)
160
00:08:15,770 --> 00:08:20,570
So, I didn't get a Dixieland band, Jason,
161
00:08:20,570 --> 00:08:24,070
but I did the best with what I had.
162
00:08:25,150 --> 00:08:26,670
So take out your kazoos.
163
00:08:29,980 --> 00:08:31,510
Everybody knows this song.
164
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:32,740
Join in when you can.
165
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,810
Oh, dear. (clears throat)
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♪ We're traveling in the footsteps ♪
167
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:53,277
♪ Of those who came before ♪
168
00:08:56,081 --> 00:09:01,081
♪ But we'll all be reunited ♪
169
00:09:03,121 --> 00:09:06,791
♪ On a new and sunlit shore ♪
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00:09:10,168 --> 00:09:15,168
(kazoo music)
(audience laughs)
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00:09:17,091 --> 00:09:22,091
♪ Oh when the saints go marching in ♪
172
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:28,200
♪ Oh lord I want to be in that number ♪
173
00:09:29,815 --> 00:09:34,815
♪ When the saints go marching in ♪
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00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,510
♪ Oh when the drums ♪
175
00:09:38,508 --> 00:09:41,258
♪ Begin to bang ♪
176
00:09:41,260 --> 00:09:42,940
♪ Oh when the drums ♪
177
00:09:42,943 --> 00:09:46,923
♪ Begin to bang ♪
178
00:09:46,922 --> 00:09:51,422
♪ Oh lord I want to be in that number ♪
179
00:10:01,610 --> 00:10:04,190
(somber music)
180
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,210
- Thanks.
181
00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:46,110
Thank you for being here.
182
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:52,970
Jason loved this place.
183
00:10:56,470 --> 00:10:58,170
It's where we spent our honeymoon.
184
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:05,800
So I thought it would only be fitting.
185
00:11:24,330 --> 00:11:25,500
I love you, Jason,
186
00:11:30,751 --> 00:11:31,671
but it's time.
187
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:37,670
So uh,
188
00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:49,190
in this place that meant so much to us,
189
00:11:54,890 --> 00:11:56,000
I'm gonna release you,
190
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,010
and release myself.
191
00:12:37,207 --> 00:12:41,457
("When the Saints Go Marching In")
192
00:12:48,369 --> 00:12:49,199
- Yeah!
193
00:13:03,452 --> 00:13:06,292
(people laughing)
194
00:13:25,153 --> 00:13:30,153
♪ You'll always be my forever ♪
195
00:13:30,252 --> 00:13:35,252
♪ Down deep inside of me ♪
196
00:13:35,536 --> 00:13:40,536
♪ You'll always be my forever ♪
197
00:13:40,749 --> 00:13:44,419
♪ You're all I'll ever need ♪
198
00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:48,960
(soft guitar music)
13625
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