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- [Brian] Would you
rather be famous and broke
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or rich and anonymous?
3
00:00:04,017 --> 00:00:05,497
- [Jason] Duh, rich and anonymous.
4
00:00:05,495 --> 00:00:06,325
(Brian laughs)
5
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Otherwise I'd be an author, not an agent
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and you'd be a performer, not a publicist.
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00:00:11,020 --> 00:00:13,240
- [Brian] Ah, I guess, but we're not rich.
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00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:14,740
- [Jason] What are you talking about?
9
00:00:14,740 --> 00:00:16,520
- [Brian] Not best-selling author rich,
10
00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:17,980
not movie star rich.
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00:00:17,980 --> 00:00:20,120
- [Jason] Maybe not, but compare our lives
12
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,740
to most people on the planet.
13
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Hell, to most Americans, we're rich.
14
00:00:25,130 --> 00:00:26,700
- [Brian] Why do people
always measure themselves
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against the people with more
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00:00:27,850 --> 00:00:29,060
instead of the ones with less?
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(Jason snickers)
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- [Jason] Because we're all wired
19
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to be selfish masochists?
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(Brian laughs)
21
00:00:35,109 --> 00:00:37,689
(upbeat music)
22
00:00:46,891 --> 00:00:49,191
- Why can I never get
their names straight?
23
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- Because they're not both named Paul.
24
00:00:50,940 --> 00:00:52,660
- Ha, ha, ha, okay,
25
00:00:52,660 --> 00:00:55,620
is Geoffrey the older one, or is Clifford?
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- Clifford is the Columbia professor.
27
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Clifford, Columbia.
- Yeah.
28
00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:00,610
- It's alliterative.
29
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- Geoffrey went to Columbia.
30
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- But that is not alliterative.
31
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- If Clifford's name was Dan,
I could link it to Daddy.
32
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:11,420
- Not funny.
- Not even a little?
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- Maybe, but they've been
together over three years,
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it's a real relationship.
35
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Oh, get the wine,
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I wanna give it a chance to breathe.
37
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- Wine!
- Honey!
38
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- No, wine.
39
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Andrew, this is my Jason.
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- I have heard a lot about you.
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- And I have heard a lot about you,
42
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and this is my boyfriend, Brian.
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- Yeah, yeah, whatever, come on.
44
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- My fellow interloper
in Lisa-Jason world.
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- (laughs) Finally,
someone who understands.
46
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- Listen, I have told every
guy that I seriously dated
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since college, if you
want me, you get Jason.
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We're a package deal.
49
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- But the sex is just you two.
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(Lisa blows a raspberry)
51
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- Good, because, and
don't take this personal,
52
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you're so not my type.
53
00:01:57,591 --> 00:01:58,911
(all laugh)
54
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:01,760
- I don't sleep with
straight guys, or women.
55
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,850
- Just me.
- Yeah, currently.
56
00:02:04,850 --> 00:02:06,480
- Hey!
- What, Jason's had
57
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,800
a lot of boyfriends.
- Yeah, well, it took me
58
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,670
a while to find Mr. Right,
59
00:02:10,670 --> 00:02:11,940
same as you.
- Mhm.
60
00:02:13,310 --> 00:02:15,800
- So, Wall Street?
61
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- Yes.
- And divorced?
62
00:02:18,095 --> 00:02:19,925
Officially, not just separated?
63
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- Jason!
- Yes, divorced officially,
64
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,850
before Lisa and I met.
65
00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:27,470
- You hang with Ta-Nehisi Coates?
66
00:02:27,474 --> 00:02:30,614
- Well back in the day,
his father founded and ran
67
00:02:30,610 --> 00:02:31,830
the Black Classic Press,
68
00:02:31,828 --> 00:02:33,668
and when I was researching my doctorate,
69
00:02:33,670 --> 00:02:36,270
he and I became friends and
he introduced me to Ta-Nehisi.
70
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- He's so easy to talk to,
like Lisa, and I love his wife.
71
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And their son is terrific.
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00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,280
Oh and David consulted with them
73
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when they bought their brownstone.
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- I didn't know he was
one of your clients.
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00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,410
- Oh, he wasn't, I just
gave him some pointers,
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a favor for a friend.
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- Jason would've killed to represent him.
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- Yeah, I'm not surprised.
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- Is he happy with his PR people?
80
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- Brian.
- What, I'm just asking.
81
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- You don't even represent authors.
82
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- I have.
83
00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:07,460
- I think he's happy with his team.
84
00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:08,710
- Who's ready for dinner?
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Totally inappropriate.
86
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(swanky jazz music)
87
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:21,810
- I didn't realize you
were looking for a Daddy
88
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:24,480
who'd punish you for being a bad boy.
89
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,330
- Yeah, you're going to love this wine.
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Patti Lupone gave me a case for Christmas.
91
00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:30,811
- Oh, we love having a friend who's
92
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press agent to the stars, so many perks!
93
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Don't cry for me, this smells delicious!
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(others laugh)
95
00:03:39,130 --> 00:03:41,210
So, when are you bringing
Patti to the restaurant?
96
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- I'm working on it.
97
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:43,600
- When are you bringing Jason
98
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to the restaurant?
- He's working on it.
99
00:03:46,550 --> 00:03:49,840
- So you are a book agent?
100
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,860
- I prefer literary agent.
101
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- Uh, they're still books.
- Yeah.
102
00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:57,120
- We're avid readers.
103
00:03:57,122 --> 00:04:00,482
Have you read Sue Grafton's,
"Q Is for Quarry?"
104
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,650
It's amazing, do you represent her?
105
00:04:02,652 --> 00:04:03,802
- (chuckles) No.
- Oh.
106
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,640
- Well, we also loved "The Nanny Diaries."
107
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,220
The way those two authors, oh I'm, sorry,
108
00:04:09,220 --> 00:04:10,490
should I say authoresses?
109
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The way they just totally dissed
110
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the entire Upper East Side...
111
00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:16,440
- I bet there is a contract
112
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,440
out on those bitches.
- Maybe there is.
113
00:04:19,780 --> 00:04:20,960
- Oh my Gay God.
114
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:24,669
You know who Mr. and Mrs. X really are.
115
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- Boys.
- We will take an oath
116
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not to tell anyone.
- A blood oath.
117
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- Gimme a knife.
118
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:34,350
- No, I'm sorry, I do
not know who they are.
119
00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:36,930
- Really.
- That's what he said.
120
00:04:36,930 --> 00:04:40,000
- I represent authors who
write more serious work.
121
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(Paul hisses)
122
00:04:41,250 --> 00:04:42,390
I mean, don't get me wrong,
123
00:04:42,390 --> 00:04:45,450
I love reading trash
fiction as much as anyone,
124
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it's just not what I represent.
125
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I'd make a lot more money if I did.
126
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- Jason's clients win important awards.
127
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,910
- Brian's dick wins important awards too.
128
00:04:58,908 --> 00:05:01,158
- Paul.
- Am I right, Brian?
129
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,470
- Please.
- Jason, these two were like
130
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,320
fuck-buddies back during the Civil War--
131
00:05:05,318 --> 00:05:06,888
- We weren't fuck-buddies,
132
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,110
we were friends who slept
together a couple of times
133
00:05:09,110 --> 00:05:11,700
and yes, I told Jason all about it.
134
00:05:13,419 --> 00:05:17,919
- Oh, well then this thing is serious.
135
00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:19,920
- Well!
- Oh my god, thank god,
136
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,620
I'm so happy, okay cheers.
- Welcome to the family.
137
00:05:23,620 --> 00:05:25,950
We'll grow on ya.
- Nah, we won't.
138
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:28,120
- David is the only
Yankee I know who can cook
139
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,120
down-home Southern to rival my mama.
140
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,420
- And his mama is a cook, not like mine.
141
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,090
The only thing she makes is reservations.
142
00:05:35,087 --> 00:05:37,427
- (laughs) That joke is so tired.
143
00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:38,650
- It's not a joke, it's the truth.
144
00:05:38,646 --> 00:05:40,906
(others laugh)
145
00:05:40,910 --> 00:05:42,170
- If I let David make dinner every night,
146
00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:43,610
there wouldn't be enough
gym-time in the week
147
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,370
to make up for it.
148
00:05:45,370 --> 00:05:47,440
- There are other ways to work it off.
149
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,220
- Ooh, another old Southern tradition.
150
00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:54,129
- Yes, but David is not
Southern, he's from the Midwest.
151
00:05:56,630 --> 00:05:58,980
- Meaning he's not that
good at working it off?
152
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:01,750
- I just didn't appreciate
being reprimanded
153
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:02,580
like a child in front of
154
00:06:02,583 --> 00:06:03,643
your friends.
- And I didn't appreciate your
155
00:06:03,637 --> 00:06:04,817
trying to use my friend.
156
00:06:04,820 --> 00:06:07,140
- I wasn't trying to use him.
- Bullshit!
157
00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:08,720
- I simply asked him a question!
158
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,340
- At least be honest, Brian.
159
00:06:12,210 --> 00:06:13,540
- Okay, fine, fine.
160
00:06:13,535 --> 00:06:15,265
I thought if Clifford thought that Coates
161
00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:16,860
might be looking for a new PR firm,
162
00:06:16,860 --> 00:06:18,080
I could throw my hat in the ring.
163
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:19,450
What was so embarrassing
to you about that?
164
00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:22,420
- It was a social evening among friends.
165
00:06:22,420 --> 00:06:23,250
- Oh, wait a minute,
166
00:06:23,253 --> 00:06:25,873
so you've never gotten a lead for a client
167
00:06:25,870 --> 00:06:26,930
at a social evening?
168
00:06:26,934 --> 00:06:30,414
- Ugh, there are ways and there are ways.
169
00:06:30,409 --> 00:06:33,349
- Oh, oh I see, so it's not what I said,
170
00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:34,610
it's how I said it.
171
00:06:34,610 --> 00:06:36,630
Oh my, I can't believe we're
actually fighting about this.
172
00:06:36,633 --> 00:06:37,923
- Because you and Jason
173
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,810
never fought.
- Of course we fought!
174
00:06:39,810 --> 00:06:41,830
- Well, it's nice to hear
you finally admit it.
175
00:06:41,830 --> 00:06:43,380
And what did that crack
mean about me being
176
00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:46,000
from the Midwest?
- My god, nothing.
177
00:06:45,998 --> 00:06:46,948
Hell, I'm from the
178
00:06:46,950 --> 00:06:48,830
Midwest too!
- Yeah, I know.
179
00:06:49,855 --> 00:06:51,155
- Then what is this about?
180
00:06:55,450 --> 00:06:58,290
- I dunno.
- Then can we please stop?
181
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:08,140
- Come here, wanna try to
work off some of that dinner?
182
00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:13,720
- In the grand old Southern tradition?
183
00:07:13,719 --> 00:07:18,719
- Yeah.
(both chuckling)
184
00:07:28,790 --> 00:07:33,790
♪ You'll always be my forever ♪
185
00:07:33,935 --> 00:07:38,935
♪ Down deep inside of me ♪
186
00:07:38,975 --> 00:07:43,975
♪ You'll always be my forever ♪
187
00:07:44,302 --> 00:07:47,972
♪ You're all I'll ever need ♪
188
00:07:49,341 --> 00:07:52,511
(upbeat guitar music)
13741
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