Original subtitles

- [Brian] So, is it cheating if

it's just jerking off together?

- [Jason] Um...

No.

- [Brian] How about if it's jerking each other off?

- [Jason] Depends if there's kissing involved,

and on location.

Neutral territory, definitely not.

One or the other's home, maybe,

and definitely if there's kissing.

- [Brian] I think it's got more to do with intent.

Is it a spontaneous hookup or has it been plotted

and planned and fantasized about?

- [Jason] Mm, I like "fantasized about."

- [Brian] I read a piece by a woman who considered herself

a bigamist because after being widowed, she's remarried.

But she still loved her first husband.

(guitar music)

(lively music)

- [Brenda] We met online.

- [Sofia] I had only been in this country two weeks.

- I keep telling you we need to set up for a profile.

- [Paul #1] No, Brian doesn't need to go online,

he's already met someone.

- You didn't tell your work wife?

- I was going to.

- [Paul #2] His name is Ron.

- They met one weekend when he was bicycling with Riley.

- Our son.

Riley said Ron was totally into Brian.

- And apparently now, Ron even has a last name.

- What do you mean?

- Brian said he couldn't fuck him because he didn't

know his last name.

(laughing)

- Now, now, Ron is totally into Brian and Brian is

totally into Ron.

- Okay, enough, that's enough, guys, really.

- So are you fucking him or dating him, because if

you're dating him, where is he?

- I asked him if he was free and he said he had plans.

- Well, did you tell him he were coming to this

incredibly cool new place and that he was going to get to

meet a sometimes Broadway star?

- Aww, for the humility of a performer.

- I asked him if he was available tonight and he said

he wasn't.

- So tell me about him.

- Do you have photos?

- [Brian] Nope.

- Really.

- Honest!

- Why does it feel like we're the oldest people here?

- Because we are.

- I am not old.

- My god...

- Where's he going? - Somebody hot?

- Brian! - Hey!

What are you doing here?

- Oh, I-- - You know what?

Never mind, meet my friends.

- I kind of-- - Come on, come on!

They won't bite.

Everybody, this is Ron.

(laughing)

Ron, this is everybody. - Hi.

- We've certainly heard a lot about you.

- Oh, you have? - We all have.

- And not so much from Brian, from Riley, we're his dads

- Oh, yeah, he's a cute kid.

- He picked up on the chemistry between you guys even

before Brian did.

(laughing)

- I'm the work wife, he's mentioned me?

- Uh, no.

- Of course not.

- Okay, okay guys, enough, enough.

Hey, listen, I am glad whatever it was you had going on

tonight canceled, I really am, but...

Did I mention we were coming here?

- No, I...

- Hey! - Oh, it's Jeff!

- I thought we were gonna meet at the bar?

- Uh, Jeff, this is everybody.

Everybody, this is Jeff, my partner.

- Partner!

Wow.

- Yeah, three years. - Three years?

- Yeah, he travels a lot for work.

- It can be hell on the relationship.

- I'll bet.

- Just got back from six weeks in China.

- Good for you.

- You know, we should go get drinks.

- In a second! So?

- Brian. - Brian.

- Brian.

How do you and Ron know each other?

- I've been fucking him while you were in China.

- Oh shit.

- Three years.

He has a partner for three years and doesn't feel the need

to mention it, you know, it's not like we were just

hooking up.

We were dating or, or we were something or...

I, I don't know what it was!

Fucking sociopath.

- I guess the next time you meet someone, you need to

ask if they're single.

- Yeah, if I'm the one instigating it, but he's the one

who pursued me.

He's the one who made me feel

like I could start dating again.

You know what?

There's not gonna be a next time.

No, no, no, I've got my friends, I've got the memory

of Jason, I don't need another relationship.

I can have sex whenever I want and we'll leave it at that.

- You know you don't mean that.

- The fuck I don't!

Oh, and then Jeff to say "From the beginning, we figured

"since I was gonna be gone most of the year, that we'd

"have an open relationship."

Fuck that shit.

- Just because you and Jason were monogamous doesn't

mean that everybody is. - I don't care

if they had an open relationship, what I care is that

the fucker didn't let me in on what was going on!

He led me on, he lied to me!

- Would you have slept with him if he told you about Jeff?

- Fuck no!

Okay, okay, once, maybe, tops

twice.

That's what it would have...

He's just...

Made me feel like I could have a life after Jason...

- And that was an important lesson.

Yeah, he's a jerk.

But he's the one that put you back out there.

- You sound like the rest of 'em.

- Because it's true.

You will have a life after Jason.

Not with Ron, but with someone.

Your friends will make sure of it.

- I don't want you to.

I just need your support.

I don't need you to guide me.

- You know why I'll always love Jason?

- Why?

- Because when he was diagnosed, that's when you really

started talking to me.

- I always talked to you.

- As your assistant.

But when he got sick, that's when you started talking

to me like a person.

This is me. - Yeah.

I'm sorry I screwed up your night with Sofia.

- She's supportive.

We lesbians are very empathetic.

(laughing)

Besides, she's coming over later.

- Is she?

(laughing)

Ooh, there's the cab, grab it!

- Hey!

(horn honking)

- I love you.

- I love you too.

(kissing noises)

(chuckling)

(Bollywood style music)

- [Jason] This music takes me back.

- Not now.

- First time we went away together, at that BNB

in the Berkshire.

- I really don't want to think about it.

- And the owners were those old

upper west side Jewish Buddhists who piped Indian music

into all the rooms.

- I remember going back to the Berkshires

for Lisa and Andrew's wedding.

We almost missed the ceremony.

Do you know how fucking sexy you are?

Here.

(laughing)

- Hey!

No, no, no, no, no. - What?

- We've got to get downstairs.

- I don't care.

- The wedding's about to start.

(playful chuckling)

- No, what are you doing? - Kiss me.

(loud kissing, moaning, laughing)

(Jason yelping)

Everyone thought it was such a pity.

Our tuxedos were so rumpled.

Lisa says she'd teach us how to pack better.

I don't know.

Maybe I am supposed to spend the rest of my life alone.

- Is that what you really want?

- What I want is for you to be alive!

- Ron's an asshole.

Keep going.

- Thanks.

- Hey Brian!

Kiss enough frogs, right?

That's one frog down.

(mellow guitar music)

♪ You'll always be my forever ♪

♪ Down deep inside of me ♪

♪ You'll always be my forever ♪

♪ You're all I'll ever need ♪

(hopeful, upbeat guitar music)