Original subtitles

- [Brian] Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

- [Jason] I believe everything happens.

- [Brian] Oh, what's that mean?

- [Jason] People always want to find some magical,

positive meaning for things, especially the bad stuff.

My grandmother always used to say if a

bird shits on you, it's good luck.

Is it, or is it rationalization?

I mean, sometimes things just happen.

(upbeat guitar strumming)

- So, what'd you think about Nico?

- He's nice enough, and he's got a good resume, but the best

social media person I know already works here; Daniel Tate.

Why don't you see if you can get him moved to our group?

- That's not a bad idea.

- You know what else isn't a bad idea?

Clearing out some of the Jason stuff.

- It's one photo.

- Plus all the little gifts?

- Happy Thursday.

- What?

What did you get me?

Oh boy.

I hate Hello Kitty, you know that.

- Yup, but she's gonna take over the

world one day, so you better get on her good side.

You're welcome.

(laughter)

- And what about everything still in the apartment?

- You got something on your dress.

- Don't remind me, a pigeon shat on me as

I headed into the subway this morning.

- Well it's very Monica Lewinsky.

- Listen, work husband, I'm serious.

- I know you're serious, you're a lesbian.

- You need to make room.

- Sorry to interrupt. - Oh.

- Daniel, we were just talking about you.

- Really?

- Oh thanks.

- One of these days our cupid, vapid receptionist

will figure out whose desks are where.

- You boys obviously just don't have a

good enough impression on her.

She always remembers which desk is mine.

- Oh. - I'm so not going there.

(laughter)

- Hey, um, word is you guys are looking for a

new social media person for your group?

- Word's right.

- Well, I'd like to throw my hat in the ring.

- Oh, well, that could be an interesting idea, I will,

I'll talk to Anna, see what she thinks about losing you.

- Actually I already spoke with her.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah, I didn't want to go behind her back, she's been

so good to me, and she agreed if you think it's a

good fit, that it'd be a good next step for me.

- Okay, I'll have Brenda set up an official meeting.

- Thanks, I'm really excited about the possibility.

- Good call, wifey.

- Something I can help with?

- Only if you have the same effect on the IRS

you have on our receptionist.

Just stuff that the accountant makes me look over.

We're, I'm, we're being audited.

- Fuck the marriage certificate.

It's the joint tax return that says we're really married.

(laughter)

Thank you for making tax time something to be excited about.

- And people think not paying taxes

is the political statement.

And now I get to go through all this crap without you.

Thank you and fuck you. No, no, fuck cancer.

- Husband, like I said before, it's time to

clear up a lot more than this tax crap.

- You want me to erase him?

I, no, I can't, I won't.

I mean maybe, if it had been a breakup, but you know,

this is different, you know, we didn't.

We didn't fall out of love, he didn't become a shit.

- I know. - No.

No, you think you know, but unless you've really been in it,

or through it, you can't, no matter how hard you try.

Just like I can't know what it's really like to be black.

- What I do know is that you gotta keep trying to

find ways to move on, to put yourself out there again.

You gotta stop acting like some old,

Italian lady who's decided to put on black and

spend the rest of her life in mourning.

- Oh god. (panting)

(laughter)

- I think somebody needed that.

- Nobody's ever made me cum the way you have.

From the very first day.

- Day's coming when you're gonna have to let someone try.

- Shh, I don't want to even think about that right now.

- You sound like the Logo rip-off of

some bad 1980's Lifetime movie.

- You know, maybe you should find your replacement for me.

- I would if I could.

There's this writer I've been working with, he's super hot.

- You're distracting me.

I took off my wedding ring.

- And that was a huge step.

- Yeah, and I gave some of his clothes to Housing Works,

except for the things I like to wear.

- Which, as I remember from that day, in addition to

certain shirts, sweaters and jackets,

included most of his underwear.

- It was not his underwear and my underwear,

we shared it, just like socks.

- But the point is, we gotta get you back out there.

Start dating. We could put you on one of those sites.

- You know what the point is?

You gotta get your ass back to gear, firm up

Kate Blanchett's Vanity Fair cover.

- I am coming over on Saturday, and we are creating

your profile, I'll bring the bagels.

- Don't say a word.

- Hello, Uncle Brian.

- Excuse me?

- You don't remember me?

- Um, I'm sorry.

- Couple weeks ago, East Side bike path?

You and the kid, we kept running into

each other, I slipped you my number.

- Rob. - Ron.

- I meant Ron, it just came out Rob.

I didn't recognize you at first, I mean, you're dressed.

- Yeah, so are you.

You live around here?

- No, work. Decided to pick up

some dinner on my way home, you?

- Yeah, 17th Street.

I kinda thought you would've called.

- I've been kinda crazed; work, life.

- You don't look crazed now.

- No.

(suspenseful synth music)

♪ You'll always be my forever. ♪

♪ Down deep, inside of me. ♪

♪ You'll always be my forever. ♪

♪ You're all I'll ever need. ♪