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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:00:13,379 --> 00:00:16,841 She was the first girl to see me naked. 4 00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:18,384 Granted, we were 7 years old at the time, 5 00:00:19,302 --> 00:00:21,346 but I had a feeling even then. 6 00:00:21,387 --> 00:00:23,640 There's really something about the first girl 7 00:00:23,681 --> 00:00:26,059 you play doctor with. Maybe it's cosmic or something, 8 00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:26,476 or perhaps it's just that she's seen your package 9 00:00:28,812 --> 00:00:30,563 and didn't run away screaming. 10 00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:30,939 Whatever it was, Allison and I were made for each other, 11 00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:35,443 a perfect fit. 12 00:00:35,485 --> 00:00:39,697 So when her family moved away, I knew that someday, somehow 13 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:43,034 fate would bring us back together. 14 00:00:45,328 --> 00:00:47,121 Berke. 15 00:00:48,039 --> 00:00:50,583 Berke Landers. 16 00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,337 It's me, Allison. 17 00:00:54,379 --> 00:00:55,171 Allison McAllister? 18 00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:01,636 Of all the lunchrooms in all the schools 19 00:01:01,678 --> 00:01:03,263 in all the world, that day, she walked into mine. 20 00:01:04,973 --> 00:01:07,809 It was the perfect romance. 21 00:01:07,851 --> 00:01:10,895 I was dating the most beautiful girl in school. 22 00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:14,148 And the cool part? We still played doctor. 23 00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:19,445 For the first time in my life, I was in love, 24 00:01:19,904 --> 00:01:21,948 and I knew it would last forever. 25 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,286 Boy, was I a dumb-ass. 26 00:01:28,371 --> 00:01:30,582 We need to talk. 27 00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:35,587 Um, you know, everything in life, 28 00:01:37,547 --> 00:01:40,550 e-even the really great things, 29 00:01:40,592 --> 00:01:44,512 run their course eventually. Right? 30 00:01:44,554 --> 00:01:48,141 Trends fade. Bread molds. 31 00:01:49,559 --> 00:01:51,686 People die. 32 00:01:52,186 --> 00:01:53,980 Uh-huh. Heh. 33 00:01:56,024 --> 00:01:57,859 I guess... 34 00:01:58,985 --> 00:01:59,777 Remember the first time we kissed? 35 00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:04,407 The feeling, the sparks? 36 00:02:04,449 --> 00:02:06,367 Yeah. 37 00:02:06,409 --> 00:02:07,827 Well, now, when we kiss, 38 00:02:09,954 --> 00:02:13,750 the feelg, It's... It's kind of... 39 00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:18,004 It's kind of gone. 40 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:31,351 Oh, and, Berke? 41 00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:37,690 I packed up most of your stuff. 42 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,901 I thought it'd be easier. 43 00:02:41,694 --> 00:02:43,655 Thanks. 44 00:03:07,553 --> 00:03:09,180 Love 45 00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:12,392 Love will keep us together 46 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:12,475 Think of me, babe Whenever 47 00:03:15,937 --> 00:03:19,691 Some sweet-talkin' girl Comes along 48 00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:21,401 Singin' a song 49 00:03:21,442 --> 00:03:24,320 Don't mess around You just gotta be strong 50 00:03:24,362 --> 00:03:28,241 Just stop 'Cause I really love you 51 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:28,616 Stop I been thinkin' of you 52 00:03:31,828 --> 00:03:34,414 Look in my heart And let love 53 00:03:34,455 --> 00:03:36,708 Keep us together 54 00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:43,923 You 55 00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:44,799 You belong to me now 56 00:03:47,135 --> 00:03:50,638 Ain't gonna Set you free now 57 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:54,100 When those girl Start hangin' around 58 00:03:54,142 --> 00:03:56,144 Talkin' me down 59 00:03:56,185 --> 00:03:59,022 Hear with your heart And you won't hear a sound 60 00:03:59,063 --> 00:04:00,273 Just stop Stop 61 00:04:00,314 --> 00:04:01,065 'Cause I really love you 62 00:04:02,817 --> 00:04:03,985 Stop Stop 63 00:04:04,027 --> 00:04:06,112 I been thinkin' of you 64 00:04:06,154 --> 00:04:08,781 Look in my heart And let love 65 00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:09,157 Keep us together 66 00:04:12,618 --> 00:04:14,912 Whatever 67 00:04:16,581 --> 00:04:17,248 Young and beautiful 68 00:04:19,876 --> 00:04:23,212 Someday Your looks'll be gone 69 00:04:23,254 --> 00:04:25,381 When the others Turn you off 70 00:04:26,674 --> 00:04:28,885 Who'll be turnin' you on 71 00:04:28,926 --> 00:04:31,471 I will, I will I will 72 00:04:31,512 --> 00:04:33,139 I will 73 00:04:33,181 --> 00:04:33,514 Be there to share forever 74 00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:40,396 Love will Keep us together 75 00:04:40,438 --> 00:04:41,564 I said it before 76 00:04:41,647 --> 00:04:43,649 And I'll say it again 77 00:04:43,691 --> 00:04:45,234 While others pretend 78 00:04:45,276 --> 00:04:48,446 I need you now And I need you then 79 00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:49,655 Just stop Stop 80 00:04:50,239 --> 00:04:52,075 'Cause I really love you 81 00:04:52,116 --> 00:04:53,409 Stop Stop 82 00:04:53,451 --> 00:04:55,870 I've been thinkin' of you 83 00:04:55,912 --> 00:04:57,789 Look in my heart And let love 84 00:04:58,623 --> 00:05:01,959 Keep us together 85 00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:03,461 Whatever 86 00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:04,879 Ah, whatev-whatever 87 00:05:04,921 --> 00:05:05,880 I will, I will I will 88 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,384 I will 89 00:05:10,426 --> 00:05:13,679 La-da-da-dah 90 00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:14,013 Dah-da-la-la 91 00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:20,019 Dah-da-da-dah 92 00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:22,021 Sedaka is back 93 00:05:23,689 --> 00:05:26,776 Dah-da-da-dah 94 00:05:36,077 --> 00:05:38,162 My parents, Frank and Beverly, 95 00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:43,084 they host the relationship advice show Love Matters, 96 00:05:43,126 --> 00:05:45,211 which sounds pretty cool... 97 00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:46,254 This maximizes the pleasure for both parties. 98 00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:48,714 Exactly. Right, right. 99 00:05:48,756 --> 00:05:51,592 While simultaneously allowing for face-to-face intimacy. 100 00:05:51,634 --> 00:05:53,886 Coolio knows what we're talking about. 101 00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:54,345 Wanna take her for a spin? Huh? 102 00:05:55,930 --> 00:05:59,225 We'll be right back. 103 00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:01,561 Here are the CDs you wanted. 104 00:06:01,602 --> 00:06:03,062 Oh, thanks, honey. 105 00:06:03,104 --> 00:06:05,565 The guests get so cranky when you haven't heard their music. 106 00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:07,900 You came home so early last night. 107 00:06:07,942 --> 00:06:09,944 Don't make it too flat. 108 00:06:09,986 --> 00:06:10,570 Is everything okay with Allison? 109 00:06:12,029 --> 00:06:14,574 No, not really. So maybe we can talk about it... 110 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,909 Berke, you know the rule. 111 00:06:16,951 --> 00:06:18,661 When we're not feeling sunny, we... 112 00:06:19,328 --> 00:06:20,955 I don't really want to talk about it here. 113 00:06:20,997 --> 00:06:23,166 I believe the word is "share." 114 00:06:23,207 --> 00:06:24,292 Frank, hon, 115 00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:25,918 apparently Berke has a problem with Allison. 116 00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:26,794 What's the story, dude? 117 00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:29,839 A little SNAFU in the old channels of communication? 118 00:06:29,881 --> 00:06:31,674 Boundary issues? Codependency? 119 00:06:31,716 --> 00:06:33,759 No, it's nothing like that. 120 00:06:33,759 --> 00:06:35,928 - Five minutes, people. - Sex. 121 00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:39,974 She dumped me. 122 00:06:40,016 --> 00:06:42,768 - Darling. - Aww! 123 00:06:42,768 --> 00:06:43,019 Ohh! You poor baby! 124 00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:47,940 This probably isn't the best place to talk about this. 125 00:06:52,069 --> 00:06:53,779 You got to be insane 126 00:06:53,821 --> 00:06:55,698 That green Jesus 127 00:06:55,740 --> 00:06:57,617 You got to be insane 128 00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,202 That green Jesus 129 00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:01,287 You got to be insane 130 00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:03,206 That green Jesus 131 00:07:03,247 --> 00:07:04,999 You got to be insane 132 00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:06,918 That green Jesus 133 00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:10,004 I wanna go home. 134 00:07:10,046 --> 00:07:11,631 It's gonna be fine, man. 135 00:07:11,672 --> 00:07:13,257 It's gonna be better than fine. 136 00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:15,426 I mean, look at all this new and interesting... 137 00:07:15,801 --> 00:07:19,263 Hey, that's my sister?! 138 00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:22,308 Hey, grabby hands, step away from the sister. 139 00:07:23,726 --> 00:07:27,313 Shouldn't you be at a pajama jammy-jam or something? 140 00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:29,398 What am I, a year younger than you? 141 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,609 Not than anybody could tell from your birthday presents. 142 00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:33,236 Pink rollerblades. 143 00:07:33,277 --> 00:07:35,154 It was a great gift. Sure. 144 00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:38,115 Can I help you? Huh? 145 00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:39,742 Uh, no. Come on, Basin. 146 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,995 A guy in the corner says he'll pierce our navels for free. 147 00:07:43,037 --> 00:07:44,747 Ooh! What?! 148 00:07:44,789 --> 00:07:47,333 Okay, he's here. He's here. 149 00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:47,875 So? 150 00:07:49,085 --> 00:07:51,045 So I told him I was going out of town, Maggie. 151 00:07:51,087 --> 00:07:53,547 He's gonna freak when he finds I'm here. 152 00:07:53,589 --> 00:07:55,508 Al, you're a free agent now. 153 00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:55,967 Don't you think he needs to start dealing with that? 154 00:07:57,843 --> 00:08:01,555 You should've seen the look on his face. He was devastated. 155 00:08:01,597 --> 00:08:03,474 It's gonna take him a while to get over this. 156 00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:04,016 Allison? Are you sure you're over this? 157 00:08:09,063 --> 00:08:11,190 Allow me. 158 00:08:16,862 --> 00:08:19,532 Who was that? Ouch. 159 00:08:21,993 --> 00:08:24,161 Is this, like, your first time in the States? 160 00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:26,789 Well, uh... Lucky, right? 161 00:08:28,416 --> 00:08:31,210 Are you guys listening to this candy-ass? 162 00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,712 My father's in the foreign service, 163 00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:34,630 so I've spent the last few years abroad. 164 00:08:34,672 --> 00:08:36,340 Shanghai, Ludwigshafen. 165 00:08:36,882 --> 00:08:40,720 When I was in Amsterdam, I toured with a little pop group 166 00:08:40,761 --> 00:08:42,722 called the Swing Town Lads. 167 00:08:44,307 --> 00:08:46,142 I knew he looked familiar. 168 00:08:46,183 --> 00:08:49,186 What's up with this accent? He sounds like Madonna. 169 00:08:51,022 --> 00:08:52,440 She's here. Who, Madonna? 170 00:08:54,483 --> 00:08:57,069 No. Allison. 171 00:08:57,069 --> 00:09:00,281 Ohh! It's perfect. 172 00:09:00,323 --> 00:09:00,573 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You are not going over there. 173 00:09:03,659 --> 00:09:05,286 You go over there, you might as well 174 00:09:05,328 --> 00:09:07,538 put your stick on a cracker. 175 00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:08,664 It's only gonna make you her bitch. 176 00:09:10,166 --> 00:09:12,752 You don't want that. It's bad! 177 00:09:12,793 --> 00:09:14,879 Felix, I've taken pisses 178 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,797 longer than your last three relationships. 179 00:09:18,299 --> 00:09:20,259 Ohh! Oh! Right you are. 180 00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:22,136 Thank you. You okay? 181 00:09:22,178 --> 00:09:24,430 Yes. Yeah. I think so. 182 00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:24,930 Yes, well, it's a tad rough-and-tumble out there. 183 00:09:26,140 --> 00:09:27,933 Glad I was here to catch you. 184 00:09:27,975 --> 00:09:29,602 I'm glad you were too. 185 00:09:31,354 --> 00:09:33,022 Would you care to dance? 186 00:10:37,628 --> 00:10:40,172 She's not your girlfriend anymore, man. 187 00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:42,174 Maybe that's not such a bad thing. 188 00:10:42,216 --> 00:10:43,592 I mean, next year, 189 00:10:43,634 --> 00:10:45,636 you guys'll be going to different schools. 190 00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:48,222 What were you gonna do, marry her? 191 00:10:48,264 --> 00:10:50,307 Who marries their high school girlfriend, anyway? 192 00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:52,017 And don't say Macaulay Culkin. 193 00:10:52,059 --> 00:10:53,853 I think I'm gonna call her. 194 00:10:53,894 --> 00:10:56,272 No. Negative. 195 00:10:56,313 --> 00:10:58,399 Have some self-respect, man. 196 00:10:58,441 --> 00:11:01,527 You have called her 40 times already. 197 00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:06,157 Get out of my way! Oh! 198 00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:09,577 I, I stand at attention 199 00:11:09,618 --> 00:11:09,910 Whenever you're near You're near 200 00:11:11,662 --> 00:11:15,666 Full speed ahead, girl 'Cause it's clear 201 00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:18,002 That you are my Luv S.C.U.D. 202 00:11:20,171 --> 00:11:22,047 He calls himself Striker. 203 00:11:22,089 --> 00:11:25,634 "Luv S.C.U.D."? 204 00:11:26,969 --> 00:11:29,930 So, what did he say when he gave it to you? 205 00:11:29,972 --> 00:11:32,975 Mmm, I don't know. He asked me out. 206 00:11:33,017 --> 00:11:34,226 Well, don't be so nonchalant about it, girl. 207 00:11:37,521 --> 00:11:40,232 I think that boy is razor fine. 208 00:11:40,274 --> 00:11:42,067 Oh, it's so funny 209 00:11:42,067 --> 00:11:42,318 To be seeing you FELIX: Look, Berke, don't... 210 00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:46,697 After so long, girl Oh, my God. 211 00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,824 And the way you look I understand 212 00:11:48,866 --> 00:11:50,409 That you aren't Impressed 213 00:11:51,869 --> 00:11:56,540 I heard you let A little friend of mine 214 00:11:56,582 --> 00:11:58,501 Take off your party dress 215 00:12:00,127 --> 00:12:03,923 Oh, Allison 216 00:12:03,964 --> 00:12:06,634 I can't believe you dated that loser for a year. 217 00:12:06,884 --> 00:12:09,637 - Knock it off! - We'll call the cops! 218 00:12:09,678 --> 00:12:11,013 Alison 219 00:12:11,055 --> 00:12:12,890 The neighbors are screaming at you, Berke! 220 00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,725 - My aim is... - Come on, let's go! 221 00:12:19,063 --> 00:12:21,899 Berke, your aim sucks. 222 00:12:24,568 --> 00:12:26,320 A little to the left, Jessica. 223 00:12:26,362 --> 00:12:27,947 What direction do you think left is? 224 00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:30,241 If you go with your instinct and reverse it, 225 00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:30,950 I think we have something happening. 226 00:12:31,825 --> 00:12:35,079 How difficult is this? I'm so alone, I think. 227 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,790 I am trying. You are intimidating me. 228 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:39,041 Well, you are frightening me! Do you understand that? 229 00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:41,794 How do you get dressed in the morning? 230 00:12:41,835 --> 00:12:43,671 Do you have people that come in, 231 00:12:43,712 --> 00:12:45,297 or do you just lie in state? 232 00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:47,174 A Midsummer Night's Rockin' Eve? 233 00:12:47,675 --> 00:12:50,970 Classical Shakespeare with a contemporary musical twist. 234 00:12:51,011 --> 00:12:53,264 Hello? 235 00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,224 Oh, my God! How did you get this number? 236 00:12:56,016 --> 00:12:57,768 Oh, you're kidding! 237 00:12:57,810 --> 00:13:00,563 Either that man has no taste, or he completely hates us. 238 00:13:00,604 --> 00:13:02,314 I think it's a little of both. 239 00:13:02,356 --> 00:13:03,357 Lazario, how's that lobotomy workin' out for you? 240 00:13:05,401 --> 00:13:07,653 So what's with the smiling? 241 00:13:07,695 --> 00:13:10,698 A week ago you were mired in rejected drunk-guy mode. 242 00:13:10,739 --> 00:13:11,490 You pass the final, or what? No, I got a 57. 243 00:13:13,742 --> 00:13:15,703 - Ouch. - Hello, ladies. 244 00:13:17,121 --> 00:13:19,540 - I'm sorry, man. - That's gotta suck. 245 00:13:20,249 --> 00:13:22,167 No, just a mild annoyance. 246 00:13:22,209 --> 00:13:24,044 See? Yeah! There you go. 247 00:13:24,086 --> 00:13:26,630 If she wants to screw around with that clown, let her. 248 00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:27,673 Right? Yeah, for now, anyway. 249 00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,301 What's that supposed to mean? 250 00:13:30,342 --> 00:13:32,636 Well, if I'm gonna lose Allison, 251 00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:35,472 it's not going to be to a turd like that, right? 252 00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:41,353 Obviously there's something about the guy Allison likes. 253 00:13:41,353 --> 00:13:43,188 Yeah, obviously. 254 00:13:43,188 --> 00:13:43,856 Come on, Landers, wake up out there! 255 00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:48,944 Fancy moves, Crazy Legs. 256 00:13:50,988 --> 00:13:51,905 - In your face. - God, there he is again. 257 00:13:53,657 --> 00:13:55,492 I don't know how you could take someone seriously 258 00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:56,827 with an accent like that. 259 00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:58,871 Berke, face it, man. You're screwed. 260 00:13:58,871 --> 00:13:59,913 I don't think so. 261 00:13:59,955 --> 00:13:59,997 I think I can take this backstreet bitch. 262 00:14:13,844 --> 00:14:16,180 Nice trick, Landers. Catching the ball with your face. 263 00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:18,265 Next thing you know, you'll be shooting 264 00:14:18,307 --> 00:14:20,434 three-pointers with your ass. 265 00:14:22,144 --> 00:14:23,604 Berke. 266 00:14:23,646 --> 00:14:24,271 Berke, stop. Berke! 267 00:14:25,689 --> 00:14:27,107 Will you let me look at it, please? 268 00:14:27,149 --> 00:14:31,403 Just go back to practice. Berke, talk to me. 269 00:14:33,155 --> 00:14:34,490 I just don't understand 270 00:14:34,531 --> 00:14:37,743 how you can replace me with this guy. 271 00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:39,578 Berke, 272 00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:40,454 no one can replace you, you know. 273 00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:45,209 It's just... 274 00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:46,919 ...time to move on. 275 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,587 So, everything's just going great with this... 276 00:14:48,879 --> 00:14:50,881 This Striker? 277 00:14:52,549 --> 00:14:55,594 No, i-it's just... 278 00:14:55,636 --> 00:14:56,679 Different, you know, I mean... 279 00:14:58,389 --> 00:15:00,557 He's not like other guys our age. 280 00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:03,644 You know? He's sophisticated and... 281 00:15:03,686 --> 00:15:04,770 We're even gonna try out for... For the spring musical together. 282 00:15:10,025 --> 00:15:11,527 You hate theater. 283 00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:16,365 No, I don't. 284 00:15:17,533 --> 00:15:19,618 "Captain of the fairy band, 285 00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:20,994 Helena is close at hand." 286 00:15:22,287 --> 00:15:25,999 I'm understanding about every other word of this shit. 287 00:15:26,041 --> 00:15:28,794 Berke. Hey. 288 00:15:28,836 --> 00:15:29,086 What happened to your face? A long story. 289 00:15:32,548 --> 00:15:34,341 A Midsummer Night's Dream? 290 00:15:34,383 --> 00:15:36,468 What, are you gonna try out for the show? 291 00:15:36,510 --> 00:15:37,094 Kinda, sor... Maybe. 292 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:40,389 Well, you know, if you're serious about it, 293 00:15:40,431 --> 00:15:42,808 I'm kinda good at that stuff. 294 00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:44,309 Really? 295 00:15:44,309 --> 00:15:45,978 Have you heard her songs? 296 00:15:46,019 --> 00:15:48,188 She's only like the next Josie Mitchell. 297 00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:49,732 Joni Mitchell. 298 00:15:49,773 --> 00:15:52,443 I could actually use some help. 299 00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:53,235 So tomorrow, coffee? 300 00:15:56,029 --> 00:15:58,407 Okay. Coffee would be great. 301 00:15:58,449 --> 00:16:00,993 Okay. Bye. Bye. 302 00:16:02,870 --> 00:16:05,706 "If you're serious, I'm kinda good at that stuff." 303 00:16:05,748 --> 00:16:07,750 Shut up! "Shut up!" Ah! 304 00:16:07,791 --> 00:16:09,293 Did you see Dennis staring at me again? 305 00:16:09,334 --> 00:16:09,460 Oh, I know, totally. I told you. 306 00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:13,088 Okay, so the first thing 307 00:16:13,130 --> 00:16:15,799 we need to do is pick you out a monologue for your audition. 308 00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:17,593 Yeah, this is good. Lysander, right here. 309 00:16:21,263 --> 00:16:24,475 "She sees not Hermia. Hermia sleep thou there..." 310 00:16:24,516 --> 00:16:25,726 No, wait. You can't, like, 311 00:16:26,685 --> 00:16:28,687 run all the words together. It doesn't work like that. 312 00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:31,607 But that's okay. We'll start from the beginning, okay? 313 00:16:31,648 --> 00:16:33,400 It's kind of hard to understand, 314 00:16:33,442 --> 00:16:33,817 but once you get into it, the story's actually kind of good. 315 00:16:37,404 --> 00:16:41,074 So, Hermia, this girl here, 316 00:16:41,116 --> 00:16:41,909 she's very rich and beautiful, 317 00:16:43,744 --> 00:16:45,245 and she lives with her overbearing parents in Athens. 318 00:16:45,287 --> 00:16:48,457 Now, Hermia has everything a girl could ask for. 319 00:16:48,499 --> 00:16:50,834 Cool clothes, nice complexion 320 00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:53,212 and her pick of pretty much any guy she wants. 321 00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:56,340 But of all the guys in the greater Athens area, 322 00:16:56,381 --> 00:16:57,841 Hermia's heart belongs to 323 00:16:57,883 --> 00:16:58,091 the handsome young nobleman, Lysander. 324 00:17:00,469 --> 00:17:04,223 This would all be perfect if it weren't for Demetrius. 325 00:17:04,264 --> 00:17:06,141 Hermia's father already promised her hand to him, 326 00:17:07,267 --> 00:17:10,145 and he's just as charming and handsome as Lysander. 327 00:17:10,187 --> 00:17:13,398 Maybe even more so. Not to mention, 328 00:17:13,398 --> 00:17:14,274 Demetrius will stop at nothing to make Hermia his bride. 329 00:17:16,652 --> 00:17:19,738 This pretty much leaves Lysander screwed. 330 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,407 All right. Got it. 331 00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:27,871 Uh, you make it, uh, very easy. 332 00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:29,581 We just started. 333 00:17:29,581 --> 00:17:30,457 Kelly, I'm not exactly trying to win an Oscar here. 334 00:17:32,668 --> 00:17:35,003 I'm just trying to get my girlfriend back. 335 00:17:35,045 --> 00:17:36,672 Thanks. 336 00:17:39,466 --> 00:17:41,802 Hi! How are you? 337 00:17:41,844 --> 00:17:44,847 Hi, new faces. How are you today? 338 00:17:44,888 --> 00:17:46,640 I'm Dr. Desmond Forrest-Oates, 339 00:17:46,932 --> 00:17:49,768 fine arts chair and all that hoopla. 340 00:17:49,810 --> 00:17:52,771 The purpose of these proceedings 341 00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:54,815 is to separate the wheat from the chaff. 342 00:17:55,983 --> 00:17:57,776 And I think we might be amazed that among us 343 00:17:57,818 --> 00:18:00,112 is a new, glimmering star. 344 00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:02,072 Our school's next... 345 00:18:03,407 --> 00:18:05,450 Well, our next Peter Wong. 346 00:18:07,494 --> 00:18:10,581 Hey, Petey. Cool shirt. 347 00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:10,998 For those of you who don't make the cut, 348 00:18:13,375 --> 00:18:16,962 I beg of you, don't despair. There's always stage crew. 349 00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:19,047 And if you've ever had a conversation with a crew member, 350 00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:21,425 you know how much fun that can be. 351 00:18:21,466 --> 00:18:24,386 I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I couldn't resist it. 352 00:18:24,428 --> 00:18:26,972 You egg me on, is the problem. 353 00:18:27,014 --> 00:18:29,641 All right, the procedure is gonna be very, very, very basic. 354 00:18:29,641 --> 00:18:32,269 We're gonna start with the singing audition. Okay? 355 00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:35,188 So loosen up those diaphragms, kiddies. 356 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,649 It's time to impress. 357 00:18:37,691 --> 00:18:41,028 Where the bee sucks There suck I 358 00:18:41,069 --> 00:18:43,322 In a cowslip's bell I lie 359 00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:46,992 There I couch When owls do cry 360 00:18:47,034 --> 00:18:50,120 On the bat's back I do fly 361 00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:51,413 After summer 362 00:18:51,705 --> 00:18:54,833 Merrily-y-y-y-y 363 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,336 Take a look 364 00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:58,837 Here I am 365 00:18:58,837 --> 00:18:59,546 Can't you see 366 00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:04,760 One simple smile From you could 367 00:19:04,801 --> 00:19:06,637 Set me free 368 00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:07,638 So if you take a look 369 00:19:09,848 --> 00:19:14,269 Let your heart Be your guide 370 00:19:14,311 --> 00:19:15,729 I'll show you love 371 00:19:16,271 --> 00:19:18,523 If you take a look 372 00:19:18,565 --> 00:19:23,153 At the girl inside 373 00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:23,737 Oh, that was... That was fun. Who's the composer on that? 374 00:19:27,532 --> 00:19:30,369 Me, actually. 375 00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:32,621 I'm sorry, were you... 376 00:19:32,663 --> 00:19:34,873 Were you expecting applause and that? 377 00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:36,708 This is an audition, not TRL. 378 00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:39,211 I know that. 379 00:19:39,211 --> 00:19:39,920 Who's next? Bentley Scrumfeld. 380 00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:46,218 One of the original Swingtown Lads, if I'm not mistaken. 381 00:19:46,259 --> 00:19:47,886 I see you know your boy groups, sir. 382 00:19:47,928 --> 00:19:48,011 I follow the popular arts. 383 00:19:50,764 --> 00:19:53,100 To me, they're so dope. 384 00:19:53,141 --> 00:19:56,103 If you don't mind, I'd like to accompany myself. 385 00:19:57,479 --> 00:19:59,231 Ah. Put that down. 386 00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:02,067 Thank you. 387 00:20:02,109 --> 00:20:06,738 This one's kind of a personal favorite of mine. 388 00:20:11,827 --> 00:20:12,244 Oh, it's so funny 389 00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:17,791 To be seeing you After so long, girl 390 00:20:17,833 --> 00:20:20,293 And the way you look I understand 391 00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:24,464 That you are not impressed 392 00:20:24,506 --> 00:20:28,427 But I heard you let that Little friend of mine 393 00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:33,473 Take off your party dress 394 00:20:33,515 --> 00:20:35,517 Oh, my. 395 00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:39,396 Alison 396 00:20:40,772 --> 00:20:43,108 I know this world 397 00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:44,609 Is killin' you 398 00:20:47,738 --> 00:20:51,533 Alison 399 00:20:53,869 --> 00:20:55,287 My aim is true The best one. 400 00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:57,289 He's the best one we've seen so far. 401 00:20:59,624 --> 00:21:00,751 My aim is 402 00:21:02,794 --> 00:21:04,337 True. 403 00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:12,554 Very nice, Mr. Striker. 404 00:21:12,596 --> 00:21:14,306 That is very impressive indeed. 405 00:21:14,347 --> 00:21:17,017 That's, that's... Wow. 406 00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:18,977 Alrighty. Well, if there's no one else... 407 00:21:19,019 --> 00:21:21,772 - Wait. - What? 408 00:21:21,813 --> 00:21:23,148 May I help you? 409 00:21:23,148 --> 00:21:25,108 Berke Landers. I'm here to audition. 410 00:21:25,817 --> 00:21:27,694 Ah. Berke Landers. 411 00:21:27,736 --> 00:21:29,446 Goody for me. 412 00:21:29,488 --> 00:21:33,200 Uh, I'd like to read a monologue by Oberon in the third act. 413 00:21:34,701 --> 00:21:36,161 I can't wait to hear it. 414 00:21:36,203 --> 00:21:38,747 But first I need to hear your singing audition. 415 00:21:38,789 --> 00:21:40,207 Excuse me? 416 00:21:40,248 --> 00:21:41,333 The procedure, Mr. Landers, 417 00:21:42,292 --> 00:21:44,795 is that we sing first and then we read later. 418 00:21:44,836 --> 00:21:47,339 Uh... Heh-heh. 419 00:21:47,380 --> 00:21:49,341 Jessica, could you help me here? 420 00:21:49,341 --> 00:21:49,424 I'm sinking in quicksand, unfortunately, at this point. 421 00:21:53,178 --> 00:21:56,348 Sing first, read later. Sing first, read later. 422 00:22:09,820 --> 00:22:12,531 Any song? Any song you want. 423 00:22:14,616 --> 00:22:19,788 Kiss a little longer Make it last a little longer 424 00:22:19,830 --> 00:22:21,706 Projection, Mr. Berke! Projection. 425 00:22:26,461 --> 00:22:28,672 Kiss a little longer 426 00:22:28,713 --> 00:22:29,798 Stay close a little longer 427 00:22:38,223 --> 00:22:41,226 Hold tight a little longer 428 00:22:42,602 --> 00:22:44,980 Longer with Big Red 429 00:22:47,607 --> 00:22:51,695 That big red freshness Lasts right through it 430 00:22:51,736 --> 00:22:53,947 Your fresh breath Goes on and on 431 00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:56,449 While you chew it 432 00:22:56,491 --> 00:22:59,411 So say goodbye A little longer 433 00:22:59,452 --> 00:23:02,080 Make it last A little longer 434 00:23:05,792 --> 00:23:08,336 With Big Red 435 00:23:16,344 --> 00:23:18,346 - Yeah. - What's going on? 436 00:23:18,388 --> 00:23:19,931 Oh, nothing. 437 00:23:19,973 --> 00:23:22,475 I'm just watching Chester screw the rubber tree. 438 00:23:22,517 --> 00:23:24,436 What, is that some kind of expression? 439 00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:25,770 No, no, no. 440 00:23:25,812 --> 00:23:26,271 My aunt's dog is staying with us for a couple of weeks. 441 00:23:28,106 --> 00:23:31,902 Apparently, he's got some sort of hormonal imbalance. 442 00:23:31,943 --> 00:23:34,321 Wow, uh... 443 00:23:34,988 --> 00:23:36,948 Is Kelly there? 444 00:23:36,948 --> 00:23:38,825 What? Kelly, your sister. 445 00:23:38,867 --> 00:23:40,243 Is she there? Why? 446 00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:42,454 Because she did a favor for me today. 447 00:23:43,747 --> 00:23:47,584 Okay. Hold, please. 448 00:23:50,378 --> 00:23:52,047 Berke Landers. 449 00:23:52,088 --> 00:23:53,840 Since when do my friends start calling you? 450 00:23:53,882 --> 00:23:56,426 Since today. Hey. 451 00:23:56,468 --> 00:23:58,678 So how was I? 452 00:23:58,803 --> 00:24:02,140 You were really... Ah. Okay. 453 00:24:03,308 --> 00:24:05,101 Sorry. I thought you knew about the singing. 454 00:24:05,143 --> 00:24:06,811 Oh, minor detail. You were cute. 455 00:24:08,730 --> 00:24:11,107 You wanna tell Allison that? 456 00:24:11,149 --> 00:24:13,610 Well, I hope you get in the play. 457 00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:14,903 What? Felix? 458 00:24:16,112 --> 00:24:18,490 I can hear you breathing! 459 00:24:19,699 --> 00:24:21,868 Hello? 460 00:24:23,328 --> 00:24:25,997 All right, everyone, coming through! 461 00:24:26,039 --> 00:24:28,375 Out of my way! Part! 462 00:24:28,416 --> 00:24:31,127 Please! Excuse me. Thank you. 463 00:24:38,843 --> 00:24:39,219 Okay, ev... All right! 464 00:24:40,428 --> 00:24:43,014 Ow! Demetrius! Yes! 465 00:24:43,056 --> 00:24:45,016 Congratulations, fair Hermia. You're kidding. 466 00:24:45,058 --> 00:24:47,269 I knew you'd get it. 467 00:24:47,602 --> 00:24:50,272 All right, people! This play is gonna rock! 468 00:24:53,441 --> 00:24:55,193 Chorus? 469 00:24:55,193 --> 00:24:57,112 Oh, you've got to be shitting me. 470 00:24:57,153 --> 00:24:59,531 Helena? Oh, my God! 471 00:25:01,199 --> 00:25:02,867 Good news? 472 00:25:02,909 --> 00:25:03,451 Sorry, I just... 473 00:25:04,202 --> 00:25:06,288 I really had my heart set on that part. 474 00:25:06,329 --> 00:25:09,124 That's... That's good. 475 00:25:09,165 --> 00:25:11,251 Look. There's you. 476 00:25:11,293 --> 00:25:11,543 Oh, yeah. 477 00:25:13,211 --> 00:25:17,299 Well, let's hope Attendant #3 doesn't have any songs. 478 00:25:17,340 --> 00:25:19,634 Felicitations, Miss Woods. Thank you so much. 479 00:25:20,343 --> 00:25:22,554 It's a lead role. I know. 480 00:25:22,595 --> 00:25:24,889 Methinks thou best not botch it! 481 00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:27,767 I remember what the wonderful Bobby De Niro 482 00:25:29,060 --> 00:25:30,353 once said to me. 483 00:25:30,395 --> 00:25:32,480 Well, not to me. I read it in an article. 484 00:25:32,522 --> 00:25:34,316 It was considering landing the big roles, 485 00:25:34,357 --> 00:25:35,567 and what he said was: 486 00:25:35,608 --> 00:25:35,900 "Just because God blesses you 487 00:25:37,485 --> 00:25:41,656 does not mean there isn't another sneeze coming." 488 00:25:44,117 --> 00:25:47,537 Anyway, see you at Thursday's rehearsal. 489 00:25:47,579 --> 00:25:49,039 You too. 490 00:25:50,290 --> 00:25:52,042 Uh, Dr. Forrest-Oates, 491 00:25:52,208 --> 00:25:54,878 That's... That's kinda gonna be a problem. 492 00:25:54,919 --> 00:25:58,757 See, next week, we've got all the basketball playoffs. 493 00:26:01,259 --> 00:26:03,636 Now, let me tell you something, bub. 494 00:26:04,929 --> 00:26:07,265 This is your theatrical debut! 495 00:26:07,265 --> 00:26:08,224 I want you to take it seriously! 496 00:26:09,434 --> 00:26:13,688 I want you to give it half the dedication... Just half. 497 00:26:13,730 --> 00:26:15,607 ...that I gave my own. 498 00:26:17,025 --> 00:26:19,110 To be or not to be. 499 00:26:19,152 --> 00:26:21,112 That is the question. 500 00:26:26,993 --> 00:26:29,162 Oh, those were the salad days. 501 00:26:30,622 --> 00:26:32,499 Although these are good. 502 00:26:34,876 --> 00:26:37,629 Thursday. None of this. 503 00:26:37,670 --> 00:26:39,172 Jock head. 504 00:26:44,219 --> 00:26:46,096 Let's go! Jessica, why are you...? 505 00:26:46,137 --> 00:26:47,597 Come on, come on, come on. 506 00:26:47,639 --> 00:26:48,723 Excuse me, I'm a teacher. Thanks. 507 00:26:51,935 --> 00:26:54,312 Let's go! Let's go! 508 00:26:54,354 --> 00:26:56,689 Where are you going, Landers? 509 00:26:56,773 --> 00:26:58,608 Landers! 510 00:26:58,650 --> 00:27:01,986 So, in summation, Lysander loves Hermia, 511 00:27:01,986 --> 00:27:04,823 who loves Lysander, but is betrothed to Demetrius, 512 00:27:04,864 --> 00:27:08,118 who in turn is the object of Helena's affection. 513 00:27:08,159 --> 00:27:10,578 Now do you see the fun of it? 514 00:27:10,620 --> 00:27:12,872 It's just all hell done break loose. 515 00:27:12,997 --> 00:27:15,834 Mickey Rourke said a wonderful thing about having fun. 516 00:27:15,875 --> 00:27:19,796 He was at some big soiree that Liza Minnelli was throwing... 517 00:27:21,297 --> 00:27:24,634 Mr. Landers, how nice of you to join us. 518 00:27:24,676 --> 00:27:29,055 And thanks for not showering. What a super instinct. 519 00:27:29,305 --> 00:27:31,224 The secret to all this, you see, 520 00:27:31,266 --> 00:27:34,102 is that our four young lovers 521 00:27:34,144 --> 00:27:35,687 are not as in control 522 00:27:35,728 --> 00:27:37,230 of their romantic destinies as they think. 523 00:27:37,689 --> 00:27:41,025 Because in the woods, we have what? 524 00:27:41,067 --> 00:27:43,319 Fairies. Fairies! Fairies! 525 00:27:43,361 --> 00:27:45,280 Spirits! Spirits. 526 00:27:47,574 --> 00:27:51,995 Specifically, Titania, Oberon, and Puck. 527 00:27:52,036 --> 00:27:53,413 Little Steve. Steven. 528 00:27:53,913 --> 00:27:58,042 Who delight in manipulating their human counterparts 529 00:27:58,042 --> 00:27:59,836 for sport. 530 00:27:59,878 --> 00:28:01,463 It really is fun to see a bunch of fairies being played... 531 00:28:07,677 --> 00:28:09,596 Holy shit, Little Steve, you've got wings! 532 00:28:10,013 --> 00:28:12,307 Well, you got fairy dust coming out of your ass. 533 00:28:12,348 --> 00:28:13,808 Come on, guys. Let's stir up some trouble. 534 00:28:13,850 --> 00:28:17,645 O fair Hermia, thou art so incredibly hot and stuff. 535 00:28:18,646 --> 00:28:20,690 Hey, Red, follow us. 536 00:28:20,732 --> 00:28:22,734 You can't see us, but you'll do what we say. 537 00:28:22,734 --> 00:28:24,736 Suckers. 538 00:28:26,446 --> 00:28:29,115 Yo, dude, somebody's scammin' on your chick. 539 00:28:29,157 --> 00:28:31,576 Time to kick some ass. Heh-heh-heh! 540 00:28:31,576 --> 00:28:33,828 Demetrius, what say you? 541 00:28:34,621 --> 00:28:37,749 Relent, sweet Hermia. And you, Lysander. 542 00:28:37,790 --> 00:28:40,919 Yield thy crazed title to my certain right. 543 00:28:40,919 --> 00:28:41,961 En garde. What? 544 00:28:42,587 --> 00:28:44,297 There's no sword fighting in this play. 545 00:28:44,339 --> 00:28:46,341 Well, now there is. 546 00:29:03,775 --> 00:29:05,777 Off you go. 547 00:29:18,873 --> 00:29:21,209 When it rains, it pours. 548 00:29:21,251 --> 00:29:22,335 Mr. Landers! 549 00:29:23,628 --> 00:29:25,797 Are we having R.E.M.? 550 00:29:32,887 --> 00:29:36,808 Musical Shakespeare? Calling my sister? 551 00:29:36,808 --> 00:29:38,184 She's helping me out. 552 00:29:38,226 --> 00:29:38,518 My sister? 553 00:29:39,644 --> 00:29:41,396 Yeah. She knows what she's doing. 554 00:29:41,437 --> 00:29:44,315 Whatever. Berke, this isn't about her. 555 00:29:44,315 --> 00:29:47,235 This is about you running after Allison, 556 00:29:47,277 --> 00:29:49,904 and I'm sorry, but it's bullshit. 557 00:29:49,946 --> 00:29:52,615 See you out there. 558 00:29:52,657 --> 00:29:54,242 That's it. 559 00:29:54,284 --> 00:29:54,701 We gotta find our boy somebody, quick. 560 00:29:56,703 --> 00:29:58,830 You don't just arbitrarily replace someone's soul mate. 561 00:29:58,871 --> 00:30:01,165 I mean, look at that old lady from Titanic. 562 00:30:01,207 --> 00:30:02,667 She ain't never get over that. 563 00:30:02,667 --> 00:30:02,792 I'm not just talking about anybody. 564 00:30:05,503 --> 00:30:08,256 You still take shop with Dora Lynn Tissdale, right? 565 00:30:08,298 --> 00:30:10,008 Yeah. Last week, 566 00:30:10,049 --> 00:30:10,883 she nearly took out half the class with a nail gun. 567 00:30:12,635 --> 00:30:14,679 So she's a bit clumsy. 568 00:30:14,721 --> 00:30:16,514 Thanks to good old Dora Lynn, 569 00:30:16,514 --> 00:30:19,017 Dickie Bergwell has to take a crap standing up. 570 00:30:19,601 --> 00:30:21,853 Dennis, we're not asking her 571 00:30:21,853 --> 00:30:24,772 to build an apartment complex, are we? 572 00:30:24,814 --> 00:30:27,108 And what makes you think she's gonna do it? 573 00:30:27,150 --> 00:30:30,194 That's your problem, all right? I'll take care of Berke. 574 00:30:30,236 --> 00:30:34,699 Dennis heard it firsthand. The girl's completely into you. 575 00:30:34,699 --> 00:30:35,241 No, that... That's bullshit. 576 00:30:37,243 --> 00:30:38,995 Why would I make this up? 577 00:30:39,037 --> 00:30:42,290 I'm presenting you here with a golden opportunity. 578 00:30:42,332 --> 00:30:43,249 The Stanley Cup of blind dates, 579 00:30:44,792 --> 00:30:46,836 New Zealand's gift to Rosner high. 580 00:30:46,878 --> 00:30:49,672 I mean, those eyes, that mouth, the rack. 581 00:30:49,714 --> 00:30:51,716 Aren't you forgetting something? 582 00:30:51,758 --> 00:30:54,719 Okay, yeah, she's a little accident-prone. 583 00:30:54,761 --> 00:30:57,096 The girl's a walking disaster zone. 584 00:30:57,138 --> 00:30:59,432 Wherever she goes, bad shit happens. 585 00:30:59,682 --> 00:31:01,643 Oh, my God! 586 00:31:01,684 --> 00:31:05,271 I mean, weird bad shit happens. 587 00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:07,523 Aah! 588 00:31:08,608 --> 00:31:12,028 She missed six years of high school. 589 00:31:12,070 --> 00:31:14,197 She was in a coma, for chrissakes. 590 00:31:15,448 --> 00:31:15,615 Berke, she's beautiful. Yeah. 591 00:31:17,659 --> 00:31:19,619 She's built. Yeah. 592 00:31:19,661 --> 00:31:21,829 And apparently she's totally willing to lower her standards, 593 00:31:21,871 --> 00:31:24,624 so I really don't see anything wrong with this. 594 00:31:27,585 --> 00:31:30,463 It's your turn to get the ball. 595 00:31:30,505 --> 00:31:31,881 I'm not getting the ball. You get the ball. 596 00:31:37,595 --> 00:31:39,972 Hey, uh, Dora Lynn? 597 00:31:40,223 --> 00:31:41,641 Dora. 598 00:31:43,351 --> 00:31:45,436 Kinda got this favor to ask you. 599 00:31:45,478 --> 00:31:48,064 Favor? What kind of favor? 600 00:31:48,398 --> 00:31:50,441 Just stop, drop, and roll! 601 00:31:51,943 --> 00:31:54,946 Berke, don't be nervous. 602 00:31:54,987 --> 00:31:56,197 I'm here because I want to be. 603 00:31:56,948 --> 00:31:58,741 Me too. 604 00:31:58,783 --> 00:32:00,702 We never really had a chance to talk. 605 00:32:00,743 --> 00:32:03,121 Well, that had a lot to do 606 00:32:03,121 --> 00:32:04,330 with the fact that I was busy with Allison... 607 00:32:04,831 --> 00:32:08,376 And you kinda had your hands full with the whole, uh... 608 00:32:08,418 --> 00:32:10,586 Coma thing? Yeah. 609 00:32:10,628 --> 00:32:12,380 Yeah. Yeah. 610 00:32:12,588 --> 00:32:14,799 You know, Berke, 611 00:32:14,799 --> 00:32:18,094 it's all about new beginnings. 612 00:32:18,136 --> 00:32:20,471 That stuff about me being bad luck? Ancient history. 613 00:32:21,013 --> 00:32:25,476 I'm moving on with my life, and you're moving on with yours. 614 00:32:27,353 --> 00:32:28,604 Heh. Sorry. 615 00:32:28,771 --> 00:32:32,316 Would you excuse me for one minute? 616 00:32:32,358 --> 00:32:34,485 I kinda have to... 617 00:32:34,527 --> 00:32:36,404 Pee? Yeah. 618 00:32:36,446 --> 00:32:36,696 Okay. Okay. 619 00:32:44,579 --> 00:32:44,829 Waitress, can I have some more tea? 620 00:32:47,123 --> 00:32:49,333 I love that song! 621 00:32:51,878 --> 00:32:52,795 Tits! 622 00:33:14,066 --> 00:33:16,027 Check, please! 623 00:33:17,945 --> 00:33:19,614 I'm dreaming of a boy 624 00:33:19,655 --> 00:33:21,365 A very special guy 625 00:33:21,365 --> 00:33:23,409 I wish that I could pluck 626 00:33:23,451 --> 00:33:25,119 A fairy from the sky 627 00:33:25,203 --> 00:33:29,040 To cast a spell Upon my pride and joy 628 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:31,959 I'm dreaming of A very special boy 629 00:33:32,001 --> 00:33:33,628 Time. Time. 630 00:33:33,669 --> 00:33:36,172 It's just not very good. 631 00:33:36,214 --> 00:33:39,050 I could lie to you, but I would do you a disservice, 632 00:33:39,050 --> 00:33:41,177 because it's just bad. 633 00:33:41,219 --> 00:33:41,302 You've got to commit. 634 00:33:43,054 --> 00:33:46,724 I'm dreaming of a boy A very special guy 635 00:33:46,766 --> 00:33:49,435 And then, "I wish that I could pluck!" Pluck! 636 00:33:49,477 --> 00:33:51,020 I wanna see you pluck it! 637 00:33:51,062 --> 00:33:53,356 You know what I mean? We'll talk about it later. 638 00:33:53,397 --> 00:33:55,358 Okay. Enter Theseus. 639 00:33:55,399 --> 00:33:57,318 Now, attendants, 640 00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:57,443 a rogue suitor 641 00:33:59,612 --> 00:34:01,989 is spooning with the master's daughter. 642 00:34:02,031 --> 00:34:04,200 Well, this is totally scandalous. 643 00:34:04,242 --> 00:34:07,703 You must look shocked, amazed. Let's see you look shocked. 644 00:34:10,081 --> 00:34:13,292 I said shocked, Mr. Landers, not constipated. 645 00:34:15,419 --> 00:34:17,588 Oh, my dear God. Go, Del. 646 00:34:18,965 --> 00:34:21,717 Go bid the huntsmen. Wake them with their horns. 647 00:34:22,593 --> 00:34:24,804 Hold it. Yes, um... 648 00:34:24,846 --> 00:34:28,516 Um, you'd tell me if you'd had a stroke. 649 00:34:30,142 --> 00:34:33,980 - And eight. - One, two, three, four... 650 00:34:34,021 --> 00:34:35,356 What? 651 00:34:35,398 --> 00:34:37,233 What? 652 00:34:37,275 --> 00:34:39,569 Are you lost? 653 00:34:39,610 --> 00:34:41,237 Um, , actually, 654 00:34:41,279 --> 00:34:43,614 I signed up for stage crew, and I... 655 00:34:43,614 --> 00:34:45,491 Stage crew? 656 00:34:45,533 --> 00:34:45,992 Then shouldn't you be over there? 657 00:34:52,248 --> 00:34:54,125 Oh, right. 658 00:34:56,043 --> 00:34:59,630 My lord, I shall reply amazedly. 659 00:34:59,672 --> 00:35:02,174 Half sleep, half waken, I came with Hermia hither. 660 00:35:02,925 --> 00:35:06,178 Our intent was to be gone from Athens, 661 00:35:06,220 --> 00:35:10,516 where we might, without the peril of Athenian law, 662 00:35:10,558 --> 00:35:12,560 be wed. 663 00:35:12,602 --> 00:35:14,562 Ah-ah-ah. 664 00:35:14,604 --> 00:35:16,480 Save it for show night, Wong. 665 00:35:16,522 --> 00:35:18,316 Sorry, Striker. 666 00:35:28,993 --> 00:35:32,413 What do you get When you fall in love 667 00:35:32,455 --> 00:35:34,540 A girl with a pin To burst your bubble 668 00:35:37,501 --> 00:35:40,504 That's what you get For all your trouble 669 00:35:40,504 --> 00:35:42,173 I'll 670 00:35:42,214 --> 00:35:42,632 Never fall in love again 671 00:35:48,095 --> 00:35:50,514 I'll never Fall in love again 672 00:35:52,516 --> 00:35:55,061 What do you get When you kiss a girl 673 00:35:55,102 --> 00:35:58,773 I'd ask you what the hell you're even doing here, 674 00:36:00,483 --> 00:36:02,068 into my ex-girlfriend's fancies, 675 00:36:02,109 --> 00:36:04,695 I'd probably be doing the same thing. 676 00:36:04,695 --> 00:36:06,906 Only I'd have a bigger part. 677 00:36:07,490 --> 00:36:09,158 You dropped your sword. 678 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:13,329 I'll never fall in love Again 679 00:36:16,165 --> 00:36:19,126 Don't tell me What it's all about 680 00:36:19,168 --> 00:36:22,546 'Cause I've been there And I'm glad I'm out 681 00:36:23,965 --> 00:36:27,510 I am so sorry. Big game. 682 00:36:27,551 --> 00:36:31,097 And that is what I'm here to remind you 683 00:36:32,556 --> 00:36:34,392 Substitution. 684 00:36:34,433 --> 00:36:35,851 Sorry, sir. There was a big accident. 685 00:36:35,893 --> 00:36:38,437 You are so lucky I am not Bobby Knight. 686 00:36:38,479 --> 00:36:39,230 We got playoffs next week, 687 00:36:39,897 --> 00:36:41,148 and you've got an obligation to the team. 688 00:36:41,190 --> 00:36:43,150 Now get out there. Yes, sir! 689 00:36:43,192 --> 00:36:46,320 Substitution for Rosner, Berke Landers. 690 00:36:50,074 --> 00:36:53,619 Hey, Landers, nice ass! 691 00:36:56,205 --> 00:36:57,540 I'm gonna go now. 692 00:36:57,581 --> 00:37:00,251 Never fall in love again 693 00:37:02,586 --> 00:37:03,587 Yeah, I'll see you guys later. 694 00:37:04,255 --> 00:37:05,881 Have a good night. 695 00:37:18,436 --> 00:37:20,896 Don't stop because of me. 696 00:37:20,938 --> 00:37:25,109 Sorry. I just never get to play a real piano at home. 697 00:37:27,611 --> 00:37:27,778 So, you've been a busy guy lately. 698 00:37:30,322 --> 00:37:33,325 Yeah, dating a pyromaniac, showing my ass in public. 699 00:37:33,367 --> 00:37:35,828 Well, it's all in the name of love, right? 700 00:37:37,204 --> 00:37:38,831 Right. 701 00:37:42,585 --> 00:37:43,878 Play me something. 702 00:37:46,881 --> 00:37:49,842 No. Come on. It sounded good. 703 00:37:49,884 --> 00:37:51,969 I'm embarrassed. 704 00:37:53,179 --> 00:37:56,348 I love writing songs, but it... Ah. 705 00:37:56,390 --> 00:37:58,225 What's the problem? 706 00:37:58,267 --> 00:38:00,019 Well, you were at the audition, Berke. 707 00:38:00,144 --> 00:38:01,812 Forrest-Oates hated my song. 708 00:38:03,230 --> 00:38:04,857 Well, 709 00:38:04,899 --> 00:38:08,110 I admired you for putting yourself out there like that, 710 00:38:08,652 --> 00:38:11,989 and, uh, you know, for whatever it's worth, 711 00:38:11,989 --> 00:38:15,117 I thought it was a really nice song. 712 00:38:16,660 --> 00:38:19,121 Thanks. 713 00:38:22,374 --> 00:38:24,293 This is a song I wrote. 714 00:38:24,877 --> 00:38:27,088 B, C 715 00:38:27,129 --> 00:38:30,132 D, E, F, G Oh, God! 716 00:38:31,509 --> 00:38:32,384 Bring it on. 717 00:38:33,511 --> 00:38:37,807 H, I, J, K, L-M-N-O, P 718 00:38:46,190 --> 00:38:48,484 Showoff. 719 00:39:14,718 --> 00:39:16,679 Berke. Yeah? Hey, Felix. 720 00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:19,473 How do you feel about half-naked women? 721 00:39:19,515 --> 00:39:20,766 Would you mind telling me where we're going? 722 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,563 Suffice to say, Dennis and I, we discussed it 723 00:39:25,563 --> 00:39:28,566 and decided that this is exactly what you need. 724 00:39:28,566 --> 00:39:31,485 We have a very special guest with us tonight. 725 00:39:31,527 --> 00:39:36,574 A young man recently jilted by his longtime lady love. 726 00:39:36,574 --> 00:39:36,949 Hey, you. 727 00:39:38,909 --> 00:39:40,995 Hey, see you later, Casanova. 728 00:39:43,539 --> 00:39:45,040 Ohh! 729 00:39:53,174 --> 00:39:54,592 What's that? 730 00:39:54,592 --> 00:39:56,260 It's Monday Madness, people. 731 00:39:56,260 --> 00:39:58,053 You know what that means. 732 00:40:08,314 --> 00:40:09,315 Behold my majestic, corseted form! 733 00:40:11,734 --> 00:40:16,405 Police! I want to see some IDs and I want to see them quick! 734 00:40:16,447 --> 00:40:17,406 Oh, my God! Sorry! 735 00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,880 Hey, can somebody get me down? Please? 736 00:40:34,798 --> 00:40:38,093 Jesus, mother of God! 737 00:40:38,135 --> 00:40:40,471 I must say, you surprised us, Berke. 738 00:40:40,471 --> 00:40:41,639 It's not every day you get a wake-up call from the cops 739 00:40:43,474 --> 00:40:45,643 saying your son's been pinched in a sex club raid. 740 00:40:45,684 --> 00:40:49,313 That said, your father and I have discussed it... 741 00:40:49,355 --> 00:40:49,730 And we'd just like to say... 742 00:40:50,940 --> 00:40:53,525 We are so incredibly proud of you. 743 00:40:53,567 --> 00:40:54,944 What? 744 00:40:54,985 --> 00:40:56,946 For getting on with your life. 745 00:40:56,987 --> 00:40:57,821 Most kids your age 746 00:40:58,364 --> 00:41:00,366 are way ill-equipped to deal with heartache. 747 00:41:00,407 --> 00:41:03,327 But not you, mister. You got right back on that horse. 748 00:41:03,327 --> 00:41:05,955 Or should I say, suspension harness. Stop it. 749 00:41:05,996 --> 00:41:07,998 Mom, Dad, I just got arrested. 750 00:41:07,998 --> 00:41:09,959 Shouldn't you be, like, pissed or something? 751 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,045 Why? Sexual curiosity is perfectly natural. 752 00:41:13,087 --> 00:41:13,963 We just had no idea you were so kinky. Yeah. 753 00:41:16,006 --> 00:41:18,008 Hey, who's up for frozen yogurt? 754 00:41:18,050 --> 00:41:20,052 Ooh, sounds good to me. 755 00:41:20,094 --> 00:41:21,470 Well, then again, 756 00:41:21,512 --> 00:41:22,054 Berke may want to go home and polish the rocket. 757 00:41:24,014 --> 00:41:26,267 Yogurt's good. 758 00:41:28,519 --> 00:41:29,979 Okay. 759 00:41:31,814 --> 00:41:33,857 Okay, Dennis. 760 00:41:33,899 --> 00:41:36,443 What? Bring her up. 761 00:41:42,825 --> 00:41:44,785 Ladies and gentlemen, 762 00:41:44,827 --> 00:41:46,412 introducing Prisoner Number 6943. 763 00:41:47,579 --> 00:41:50,499 Bravo, Landers, bravo. 764 00:41:50,541 --> 00:41:53,877 You know, you do take a stunning picture. 765 00:41:55,254 --> 00:41:56,880 Striker, I'd be careful about that accent. 766 00:41:56,922 --> 00:41:59,091 You're beginning to sound a lot like Mary Poppins. 767 00:41:59,133 --> 00:42:01,218 Look, I don't know what you're blathering about, 768 00:42:01,260 --> 00:42:02,594 but if I were you... Hold it, hold it, hold it. 769 00:42:05,347 --> 00:42:07,391 What? Are you wearing makeup? 770 00:42:10,352 --> 00:42:10,769 That's it. 771 00:42:13,731 --> 00:42:16,108 Ooh. 772 00:42:16,150 --> 00:42:18,152 Careful, Landers. I do believe you are 773 00:42:18,193 --> 00:42:18,861 trifling with danger. 774 00:42:19,903 --> 00:42:22,573 Who keeps nunchucks in their pants? 775 00:42:24,575 --> 00:42:26,201 Ohh! 776 00:42:26,243 --> 00:42:26,952 Peter Wong is down! 777 00:42:31,874 --> 00:42:33,876 Look on the bright side, Wong. 778 00:42:33,917 --> 00:42:34,960 You're a singer, not a dancer. 779 00:42:35,878 --> 00:42:39,381 I'll kill you, you ass-kissing, pretentious, Swingtown twit! 780 00:42:39,423 --> 00:42:44,136 This is my theater! My show! 781 00:42:44,178 --> 00:42:47,306 Forrest-Oates is my special buddy! 782 00:42:47,348 --> 00:42:49,141 That was intense. 783 00:42:49,183 --> 00:42:50,434 I know. I've never seen 784 00:42:50,434 --> 00:42:51,143 bone poke through skin like that before. 785 00:42:53,937 --> 00:42:57,608 Everything's going to be fine, according to the paramedics. 786 00:42:57,649 --> 00:42:59,234 In fact, Peter will be back on his feet in no time. 787 00:43:03,697 --> 00:43:05,407 Still, 788 00:43:05,449 --> 00:43:07,326 in the words of the wonderful Kevin Spacey, 789 00:43:07,785 --> 00:43:09,620 the show must go on. 790 00:43:09,620 --> 00:43:12,164 So since curtain is, indeed, in three days, 791 00:43:12,206 --> 00:43:14,458 I'm now accepting offers from volunteers 792 00:43:14,458 --> 00:43:15,459 for the role of Lysander. Ooh-ooh! 793 00:43:17,419 --> 00:43:20,089 Put your hand down, Little Steve! 794 00:43:20,130 --> 00:43:22,299 No, Striker, you already have a role. 795 00:43:22,341 --> 00:43:23,509 Yes, I know, but I was wanting to nominate someone. 796 00:43:27,346 --> 00:43:31,308 Oh. Well, that's very flattering, indeed. 797 00:43:31,308 --> 00:43:31,642 But I don't think a man of 34 798 00:43:34,269 --> 00:43:35,687 can possibly keep up with you youngsters. 799 00:43:35,729 --> 00:43:38,774 Actually, I was referring to... 800 00:43:38,816 --> 00:43:39,733 Berke Landers. 801 00:43:42,236 --> 00:43:46,031 Oh! Well, that's an intriguing thought. 802 00:43:46,073 --> 00:43:47,866 Any other ideas? 803 00:43:48,117 --> 00:43:49,535 One I might use? 804 00:43:49,576 --> 00:43:51,120 Put your hand down, Little Steve! 805 00:43:51,161 --> 00:43:52,663 He's green, to be sure, 806 00:43:52,663 --> 00:43:55,958 but he does demonstrate a certain enthusiasm. 807 00:43:56,333 --> 00:43:59,294 I'm in. 808 00:44:00,337 --> 00:44:02,840 You're in? Yeah, I'm in. 809 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,049 Jessica, call Domino's. We'll be here a while. 810 00:44:06,510 --> 00:44:09,513 And keep icing your front bum! 811 00:44:09,513 --> 00:44:12,099 Swelling continues when you don't ice, and I need you. 812 00:44:13,517 --> 00:44:15,477 Not really. 813 00:44:16,770 --> 00:44:18,689 So how many swords do we have? 814 00:44:18,689 --> 00:44:21,483 Seven. Eight. 815 00:44:21,525 --> 00:44:23,694 I swear, if Allison doesn't appreciate this... 816 00:44:23,735 --> 00:44:25,237 Then what? 817 00:44:26,864 --> 00:44:28,282 Anyway, I've heard you do the dialogue. You're fine. 818 00:44:30,242 --> 00:44:31,702 Yeah, but what about the singing? 819 00:44:31,702 --> 00:44:33,370 Well, the music sucks. 820 00:44:33,412 --> 00:44:35,372 Especially my song. 821 00:44:35,372 --> 00:44:36,415 Well, why don't you rewrite it? 822 00:44:37,416 --> 00:44:40,294 Oh, Forrest-Oates would never go for it. 823 00:44:40,335 --> 00:44:42,504 Kelly, you're the best one in the play. 824 00:44:42,546 --> 00:44:44,047 You know more about this stuff than he does. 825 00:44:44,089 --> 00:44:44,506 Yeah, but he doesn't see it that way. 826 00:44:46,425 --> 00:44:50,053 Forrest-Oates just cast me as a lead. 827 00:44:50,053 --> 00:44:52,264 He's an idiot, Allison. 828 00:44:54,850 --> 00:44:56,810 My name... 829 00:44:56,852 --> 00:44:58,854 ...is Kelly. 830 00:44:58,896 --> 00:45:00,689 What'd I say? Allison. 831 00:45:01,064 --> 00:45:02,524 No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. 832 00:45:02,566 --> 00:45:04,776 I'm sorry. Prepare to die. 833 00:45:04,818 --> 00:45:08,071 Maybe y-you shouldn't be playing with that. 834 00:45:08,113 --> 00:45:08,780 Wh... Put it down. 835 00:45:10,199 --> 00:45:12,743 Put it... K-Kelly. 836 00:45:18,207 --> 00:45:19,541 We have an 18-year-old white male 837 00:45:19,583 --> 00:45:22,127 with an anterior puncture wound to his left arm. 838 00:45:22,169 --> 00:45:24,254 I'm so sorry, Berke. I thought it was a prop. 839 00:45:24,296 --> 00:45:25,005 I wanna see it. 840 00:45:26,048 --> 00:45:28,425 No, don't look at it. It's pretty bad, isn't it? 841 00:45:28,467 --> 00:45:31,428 No, it's fine. Here, listen to me, Berke. 842 00:45:31,470 --> 00:45:33,138 The doctor's gonna fix your arm, I'm gonna help you rehearse, 843 00:45:34,556 --> 00:45:37,267 and you're gonna be the best Lysander ever. 844 00:45:37,309 --> 00:45:38,852 Your arm, it's really not that... 845 00:45:38,894 --> 00:45:40,687 Oh, my God! Ohh! 846 00:45:44,775 --> 00:45:47,361 Bah-bah Bah-de-dah dah-bah-bah 847 00:45:47,402 --> 00:45:49,321 Bah-bah Bah-de-dah dah-bah-bah 848 00:45:49,863 --> 00:45:53,492 Bah-bah bah-de-dah Dah-bah-bah dah-de-dah 849 00:45:54,910 --> 00:45:57,496 Bah-bah Bah-de-dah dah-bah-bah 850 00:45:57,538 --> 00:45:59,790 Bah-bah Bah-de-dah dah-bah-bah 851 00:45:59,790 --> 00:46:02,501 Bah-bah, bah-de-dah Dah-bah-bah, dah-de-dah 852 00:46:02,543 --> 00:46:04,294 I'm just saying, 853 00:46:04,336 --> 00:46:05,504 that Thursday night you kept Kelly's ass out till 12:15. 854 00:46:07,422 --> 00:46:09,299 Felix, it's Kelly. 855 00:46:09,341 --> 00:46:10,884 She's helping me out with the part. 856 00:46:10,926 --> 00:46:12,261 Okay, okay, okay. 857 00:46:12,302 --> 00:46:13,637 Just keep an eye on her, man. 858 00:46:14,388 --> 00:46:15,806 Because some of those theater guys, 859 00:46:15,847 --> 00:46:17,766 they have this reputation of being kinda... 860 00:46:17,808 --> 00:46:19,309 Gay? See? 861 00:46:19,309 --> 00:46:20,644 That's what they want you to think. 862 00:46:20,644 --> 00:46:21,728 I'll keep an eye on her. 863 00:46:25,816 --> 00:46:30,529 Bah-bah bah-de-dah Dah-bah-bah dah-de-dah 864 00:46:30,571 --> 00:46:33,490 Forty-eight hours I'm still havin' it bad 865 00:46:33,490 --> 00:46:35,534 Thirty-two to go I was virtually dead 866 00:46:35,576 --> 00:46:37,995 Makin' a mess On someone's desk 867 00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:41,248 I did it again Bah-dah-dah-dah dah-dah 868 00:46:41,290 --> 00:46:43,792 Started lookin' for someone The kind is you 869 00:46:43,834 --> 00:46:46,086 All the other places were There are nothin' to do 870 00:46:46,128 --> 00:46:49,172 So waste the morning and Hang in bed, nobody cares 871 00:46:49,172 --> 00:46:51,216 So when do your parents leave for this affiliate stuff? 872 00:46:51,258 --> 00:46:52,801 Uh, today. 873 00:46:52,843 --> 00:46:54,219 Don't even think about it. What? 874 00:46:55,137 --> 00:46:58,640 Felix, I can hear your brain planning a party. No. 875 00:46:58,682 --> 00:47:01,560 I'll see you guys la... I gotta get something. 876 00:47:01,602 --> 00:47:02,311 Hey, why is he going into the music store? 877 00:47:03,770 --> 00:47:05,188 I don't know. 878 00:47:05,188 --> 00:47:07,566 He's probably buying tap shoes or some shit like that, 879 00:47:07,608 --> 00:47:10,402 which only further demonstrates my point, my friend. 880 00:47:10,652 --> 00:47:13,947 That man is in dire need of a party. 881 00:47:13,989 --> 00:47:16,158 Yes? 882 00:47:16,199 --> 00:47:18,493 Hi. I know you're busy, 883 00:47:18,619 --> 00:47:20,078 but I just wanna talk to you for one second. 884 00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:22,039 Oh, Miss Woods, please come in... 885 00:47:22,039 --> 00:47:24,583 Oh, fun hair clip. 886 00:47:25,876 --> 00:47:26,585 I wanted to talk to you about my song. 887 00:47:28,587 --> 00:47:30,672 Oh, "Pocketful of Dreams." 888 00:47:30,714 --> 00:47:34,551 I originally wrote that tune for Miss Diana Ross. 889 00:47:36,386 --> 00:47:37,971 Miss Ross! Miss Ross! 890 00:47:38,013 --> 00:47:40,932 I've written a very groovy song! I think you'd li... Unh! 891 00:47:40,974 --> 00:47:42,768 That's my hand, buddy! Aah! Miss Ross! 892 00:47:44,102 --> 00:47:47,648 Miss Ross! Diana! 893 00:47:47,689 --> 00:47:50,901 Unfortunately, the lawyers got involved, 894 00:47:51,276 --> 00:47:54,613 and then bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. 895 00:47:54,655 --> 00:47:58,992 And then, uh, the next thing you know... Phtt! No deal. 896 00:47:59,159 --> 00:48:01,912 It's a great song. I love singing it. 897 00:48:01,912 --> 00:48:03,246 Oh, it was fun to write. 898 00:48:03,246 --> 00:48:05,123 It's just that I was wondering if you... 899 00:48:05,165 --> 00:48:07,084 If you wouldn't mind, 900 00:48:07,084 --> 00:48:07,125 if I made a few suggestions. 901 00:48:09,336 --> 00:48:12,172 You've made s-some suggestions? 902 00:48:12,214 --> 00:48:14,091 "O weary night, 903 00:48:14,132 --> 00:48:15,258 abate thy hours." 904 00:48:16,635 --> 00:48:18,845 Well, I just figured, you know, 905 00:48:18,887 --> 00:48:21,390 like you said, the song really isn't working. 906 00:48:23,183 --> 00:48:23,350 I'd like you to do me a favor, if you will, Miss Woods. 907 00:48:26,770 --> 00:48:28,522 I'd like you to read this poster and tell me 908 00:48:28,563 --> 00:48:30,148 what it says at the bottom. 909 00:48:30,190 --> 00:48:31,400 "No food or drink allowed in the auditorium at any time." 910 00:48:33,193 --> 00:48:38,365 It says, "12 original songs by Dr. Desmond Forrest-Oates." 911 00:48:38,407 --> 00:48:42,119 Oh. That part. Yes, that part. 912 00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:43,912 I'll tell you what it doesn't say. 913 00:48:43,954 --> 00:48:45,539 It doesn't say, "additional lyrics 914 00:48:45,580 --> 00:48:47,541 by Little Miss Sassy-pants." 915 00:48:47,708 --> 00:48:50,127 You know, some of those lyrics are Shakespeare's. 916 00:48:50,168 --> 00:48:53,714 Ah. And what was the last tune you hummed from Macbeth? 917 00:48:53,755 --> 00:48:55,674 Bill Shakespeare is a wonderful poet, 918 00:48:57,467 --> 00:48:59,970 but Burt Bacharach he ain't. 919 00:49:01,346 --> 00:49:02,848 I'll go. 920 00:49:02,889 --> 00:49:03,765 Sorry I'm late. That's okay. 921 00:49:04,933 --> 00:49:07,269 I was just getting lucky. Chester! 922 00:49:07,310 --> 00:49:09,896 We need... We need to find this dog a date. 923 00:49:11,481 --> 00:49:11,898 So, uh, how was... How was Forrest-Oates? 924 00:49:14,151 --> 00:49:16,445 A bigger asshole than I thought. 925 00:49:16,486 --> 00:49:18,864 Maybe this will make you feel a little better. 926 00:49:18,905 --> 00:49:20,031 A gift? Berke. 927 00:49:21,658 --> 00:49:24,161 First we rehearse, okay? 928 00:49:24,202 --> 00:49:27,330 Okay. All right. 929 00:49:30,459 --> 00:49:35,672 So that's the girl That I've got to have 930 00:49:35,672 --> 00:49:36,089 I'll tell you why... 931 00:49:40,969 --> 00:49:43,513 It's 21 hours until the play, 932 00:49:43,513 --> 00:49:46,016 and I'm actually starting to suck more. 933 00:49:46,016 --> 00:49:49,269 Look, let's just put the songs aside for a second. 934 00:49:49,311 --> 00:49:51,354 We'll work on some dialogue. 935 00:49:51,354 --> 00:49:52,230 We're at the point where Theseus has just woken everybody up. 936 00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:57,486 All right. 937 00:50:02,365 --> 00:50:04,409 Hi. Hi. 938 00:50:08,538 --> 00:50:12,250 Okay, this scene's between you and Hermia. 939 00:50:12,292 --> 00:50:15,587 So pretend I'm Allison, okay? Sure. 940 00:50:15,629 --> 00:50:16,546 As difficult as that might be. 941 00:50:18,632 --> 00:50:20,801 No, go ahead. 942 00:50:22,302 --> 00:50:24,596 So Theseus says, 943 00:50:25,806 --> 00:50:29,017 "Go, wake them with their horns." 944 00:50:29,059 --> 00:50:31,436 And Hermia says, 945 00:50:31,478 --> 00:50:32,729 "Methinks I see things with parted eye, 946 00:50:35,315 --> 00:50:37,734 when everything seems double." 947 00:50:41,071 --> 00:50:43,657 Okay, I got it. 948 00:50:43,698 --> 00:50:48,161 My lord, I reply amazedly, 949 00:50:48,203 --> 00:50:51,581 half asleep, half awake. 950 00:50:52,666 --> 00:50:55,544 I came with Hermia hither. 951 00:50:57,796 --> 00:51:03,093 Our intent is to leave Athens 952 00:51:03,093 --> 00:51:05,011 where we may be married. 953 00:51:06,388 --> 00:51:09,099 And then there's the kiss, 954 00:51:09,099 --> 00:51:11,434 which is gonna be with Allison. 955 00:51:11,476 --> 00:51:13,103 Right. 956 00:51:14,729 --> 00:51:16,940 But in this case... 957 00:51:24,281 --> 00:51:26,491 Ah. Shit! 958 00:51:26,533 --> 00:51:27,659 What? 959 00:51:27,701 --> 00:51:29,077 Hey, let me take a shot in the dark. 960 00:51:29,119 --> 00:51:29,327 Berke's there, right? Felix, where are you? 961 00:51:31,788 --> 00:51:34,040 Big party. Hey, listen. 962 00:51:34,082 --> 00:51:36,293 Tell Berke he might want to stop by, 963 00:51:36,293 --> 00:51:37,419 because there's some people who've been asking about him. 964 00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:40,839 We gotta go to your house. 965 00:51:42,549 --> 00:51:44,634 Well, well. I'm impressed. 966 00:51:44,634 --> 00:51:45,468 Turnout's not half-bad. Where's Felix? 967 00:51:47,804 --> 00:51:49,931 Dude, you should really breathe, man. 968 00:51:49,973 --> 00:51:52,225 I mean, you look like you're gonna stroke out. 969 00:51:52,267 --> 00:51:54,644 Look, I'm gonna look for him over here, okay? 970 00:51:54,644 --> 00:51:57,147 You realize I'm going to kill him. 971 00:51:57,147 --> 00:51:59,316 Felix! Felix! 972 00:52:00,692 --> 00:52:01,610 Felix! If it isn't my beauteous costar. 973 00:52:03,194 --> 00:52:06,072 Have you seen my brother Felix? Fair Helena. 974 00:52:06,114 --> 00:52:07,490 So tense. 975 00:52:07,532 --> 00:52:09,701 A few preshow jitters, perhaps? 976 00:52:10,285 --> 00:52:14,748 Or maybe some love pangs for a certain you-know-who. 977 00:52:14,789 --> 00:52:17,167 You! Berke! What's up? 978 00:52:17,167 --> 00:52:17,792 So, what do you think, huh? What do I think?! 979 00:52:20,003 --> 00:52:21,880 What are you talking about? 980 00:52:21,922 --> 00:52:24,341 I don't know what you girls see in this undereducated wank. 981 00:52:24,382 --> 00:52:29,346 Perhaps you can take me out to the veranda and... 982 00:52:29,346 --> 00:52:30,597 edify me. 983 00:52:30,639 --> 00:52:33,058 Shit, it's Striker. 984 00:52:33,099 --> 00:52:34,059 I'll see you at the show. What the hell is going on? 985 00:52:36,102 --> 00:52:38,772 Nothing. Just a bit of tomfoolery. 986 00:52:38,813 --> 00:52:40,231 Felix, I'm handling it. 987 00:52:40,273 --> 00:52:42,150 No, you're being handled by Leather Pants here. 988 00:52:42,484 --> 00:52:44,861 There's a difference. I think you better go. 989 00:52:44,903 --> 00:52:47,572 Oh, come on. Do you really think I'd fool around on Allison? 990 00:52:47,614 --> 00:52:50,241 You, of all people, should know how damnable that would be. 991 00:52:50,700 --> 00:52:52,619 Now where's the grub? This way? Thank you. 992 00:53:01,503 --> 00:53:03,964 Guys. 993 00:53:04,005 --> 00:53:06,383 Is it just me, or does this punch taste kind of funky? 994 00:53:07,258 --> 00:53:09,219 There's chunks. 995 00:53:13,390 --> 00:53:14,474 Hi. 996 00:53:15,684 --> 00:53:18,061 I've been wondering where you've been. 997 00:53:18,103 --> 00:53:20,981 We have to talk about Striker. 998 00:53:21,022 --> 00:53:22,524 No, no. You will stop at nothing, will you? 999 00:53:27,570 --> 00:53:30,615 Allison. Allison. 1000 00:53:35,954 --> 00:53:38,665 Striker? Allison! 1001 00:53:39,624 --> 00:53:41,501 Maggie. 1002 00:53:41,543 --> 00:53:45,213 Allison, I'm so sorry. 1003 00:53:46,631 --> 00:53:46,756 You can all just go to hell. 1004 00:54:05,025 --> 00:54:07,152 Hey, you. 1005 00:54:07,193 --> 00:54:10,572 Sorry about this whole party thing. 1006 00:54:10,613 --> 00:54:10,905 My brother is kind of an asshole. 1007 00:54:12,741 --> 00:54:14,492 Kind of? 1008 00:54:14,534 --> 00:54:15,869 I'm seriously considering 1009 00:54:15,910 --> 00:54:18,288 telling Mom where he keeps his porn. 1010 00:54:19,831 --> 00:54:21,833 That was a joke. 1011 00:54:25,253 --> 00:54:27,130 Kelly, why do you hang out with me? 1012 00:54:28,298 --> 00:54:30,967 I mean, you probably have better things to do 1013 00:54:31,009 --> 00:54:35,138 than to waste your time with a hapless loser. 1014 00:54:35,180 --> 00:54:35,263 You're not a loser, Berke. Allison thinks so. 1015 00:54:38,767 --> 00:54:41,186 Allison's an idiot. 1016 00:54:43,271 --> 00:54:43,354 I have done 1017 00:54:45,148 --> 00:54:49,277 absolutely everything for that girl. 1018 00:54:49,319 --> 00:54:51,404 She just doesn't get it. 1019 00:55:28,650 --> 00:55:30,902 I can't do this. 1020 00:55:35,240 --> 00:55:38,368 Kelly, I think you're great, but we can't... We can't do this. 1021 00:55:40,203 --> 00:55:42,747 You're Felix's little sister. 1022 00:55:46,251 --> 00:55:47,877 Screw you. 1023 00:55:48,044 --> 00:55:52,048 Kelly, wait a second. That came out wrong! 1024 00:55:54,217 --> 00:55:55,927 What was that? Felix, it's not what you think. 1025 00:55:59,722 --> 00:56:01,474 What the hell has gotten into you? 1026 00:56:01,516 --> 00:56:04,018 Aah. 1027 00:56:05,979 --> 00:56:07,522 Well, well! 1028 00:56:07,564 --> 00:56:10,316 Why am I suddenly glad we left the conference early? 1029 00:56:10,358 --> 00:56:12,152 I don't recall anything about a party, Berke. 1030 00:56:13,611 --> 00:56:16,156 We could have sprung for a deejay. 1031 00:56:16,197 --> 00:56:18,992 Make sure and put the furniture back when you're done. 1032 00:56:19,033 --> 00:56:20,285 Mom, Dad, reverend's daughter Judy 1033 00:56:21,411 --> 00:56:23,705 just took a dump in our pool, 1034 00:56:23,746 --> 00:56:25,832 and you want to spring for a deejay? 1035 00:56:25,874 --> 00:56:28,376 That's what makes us so fly! 1036 00:56:28,668 --> 00:56:31,129 We trust you. 1037 00:56:31,171 --> 00:56:33,381 You're my parents, for god's sakes. 1038 00:56:33,423 --> 00:56:34,883 Stop trusting me! 1039 00:56:40,805 --> 00:56:44,017 Poor Judy. I'll go get the skimmer. 1040 00:56:56,905 --> 00:56:59,324 Well, this is pretty interesting. 1041 00:56:59,365 --> 00:57:00,658 It was nothing. Kelly, I was there. 1042 00:57:02,243 --> 00:57:05,997 He kissed you, and I don't know why he did it. 1043 00:57:06,039 --> 00:57:07,874 I mean, Berke's pretty screwed up right now, but... 1044 00:57:07,916 --> 00:57:08,708 Look, I kissed him too. 1045 00:57:12,879 --> 00:57:14,923 And, yes, he is screwed up, 1046 00:57:14,964 --> 00:57:16,841 and he likes someone else, and it's a problem. 1047 00:57:18,051 --> 00:57:21,304 But, Felix, it's my problem. 1048 00:57:26,851 --> 00:57:31,356 Look, you'd know I'd be lying if I said I was happy about this. 1049 00:57:35,235 --> 00:57:40,531 But, um, if Berke can't see what an amazing person you are... 1050 00:57:42,116 --> 00:57:45,286 Then I'd say that he's the one with the problem. 1051 00:57:47,997 --> 00:57:50,208 Good night. 1052 00:58:15,108 --> 00:58:17,694 Uh, hey, it's me. It's Berke. 1053 00:58:17,735 --> 00:58:21,531 Uh, just wanted to say thanks for all your help. 1054 00:58:21,698 --> 00:58:24,158 The guy at the music store said that songwriters 1055 00:58:24,200 --> 00:58:26,244 use these things, so... 1056 00:58:26,286 --> 00:58:28,538 If anyone can fix Forrest-Oates' song, 1057 00:58:28,538 --> 00:58:29,622 it's definitely you. 1058 00:58:31,291 --> 00:58:35,420 Just know that I believe in you, Kelly. 1059 00:58:35,461 --> 00:58:37,255 Um, break a leg. 1060 00:58:37,297 --> 00:58:37,755 Now I've fallen in deep 1061 00:58:41,092 --> 00:58:43,386 Slow, silent sleep 1062 00:58:43,386 --> 00:58:45,722 It's killing me 1063 00:58:46,180 --> 00:58:51,060 I'm dying 1064 00:59:20,590 --> 00:59:23,843 Hey, let's mess with the mortals one more time. 1065 00:59:23,885 --> 00:59:28,097 Boyfriend'll be trippin' on this. 1066 00:59:28,097 --> 00:59:30,808 One more dose for Mr. Morose. 1067 00:59:30,850 --> 00:59:33,019 Time for a little wake-up call. 1068 00:59:33,061 --> 00:59:34,103 And I'm out of here. 1069 00:59:39,442 --> 00:59:42,195 And in the woods, where the scents are sweet, 1070 00:59:43,279 --> 00:59:46,783 there my Lysander and myself shall meet. 1071 00:59:55,917 --> 00:59:58,419 Maybe it's time you started dreaming of someone else. 1072 00:59:59,295 --> 01:00:02,382 Berke. You were my first. 1073 01:00:02,423 --> 01:00:04,550 No one's ever gonna replace you. 1074 01:00:04,592 --> 01:00:06,511 I've dazzled my way into your ex-girlfriend's fancies. 1075 01:00:08,429 --> 01:00:11,307 You were the quintessential high school couple. 1076 01:00:11,349 --> 01:00:14,644 She's not your girlfriend anymore, man. 1077 01:00:14,977 --> 01:00:16,938 I'm moving on with my life, 1078 01:00:16,979 --> 01:00:19,774 and you're moving on with yours. 1079 01:00:19,816 --> 01:00:22,693 Are we freaking you out? Yeah, we're freaking him out. 1080 01:00:33,704 --> 01:00:36,207 Uh, Dr. Forrest-Oates, the attendants' costumes arrived. 1081 01:00:36,249 --> 01:00:38,167 Ah. Thank Buddha. 1082 01:00:38,209 --> 01:00:38,835 And, uh, your wife called. 1083 01:00:40,753 --> 01:00:43,047 She might not make it to tonight's performance. 1084 01:00:43,089 --> 01:00:44,841 Did she say why? 1085 01:00:44,882 --> 01:00:46,884 It was difficult to understand through the slur. 1086 01:00:49,846 --> 01:00:53,266 Uh, and, sir? There is one more thing. 1087 01:00:53,307 --> 01:00:54,976 Del Molden Jr. Is sick. 1088 01:00:56,185 --> 01:00:59,105 My dance partner? Shit! 1089 01:00:59,147 --> 01:01:02,150 That's enough out of you, muck mouth! 1090 01:01:02,191 --> 01:01:03,484 Now, apparently he got hold of 1091 01:01:03,526 --> 01:01:05,278 some tainted fruit punch last night 1092 01:01:05,319 --> 01:01:07,029 and won't be able to perform. 1093 01:01:07,029 --> 01:01:08,614 Not that it matters at all, 1094 01:01:08,656 --> 01:01:11,200 because the entire production's going down in flames, so... 1095 01:01:11,701 --> 01:01:13,911 Oh. 1096 01:01:13,953 --> 01:01:16,122 That having been said, 1097 01:01:16,164 --> 01:01:18,040 I'm curious if anyone feels that they can 1098 01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:19,292 fill the little booze hound's place. 1099 01:01:22,044 --> 01:01:24,380 Good. Let me ask you this. 1100 01:01:24,380 --> 01:01:27,425 Is there anyone who, at all, is good on their feet? 1101 01:01:28,217 --> 01:01:31,721 A shuffle, or a turn, or an attitude of any kind. 1102 01:01:31,762 --> 01:01:34,056 With a pose. 1103 01:01:34,056 --> 01:01:35,558 Well, uh... Ahem. 1104 01:01:36,058 --> 01:01:39,061 sometimes Coach Hibble calls me Crazy Legs. 1105 01:01:39,061 --> 01:01:40,897 Oh, does he? 1106 01:01:44,817 --> 01:01:46,736 Wait. Wait a second. 1107 01:01:46,736 --> 01:01:48,988 All right, maybe if you took a half step back 1108 01:01:49,030 --> 01:01:50,323 before the spin. 1109 01:01:50,364 --> 01:01:51,782 Okay, just follow my lead. 1110 01:01:53,242 --> 01:01:56,537 I learnt this from watching in the wings. 1111 01:01:56,579 --> 01:01:58,414 Wow! 1112 01:01:58,414 --> 01:01:59,707 Felix! 1113 01:02:01,918 --> 01:02:04,587 I am. I'm in makeup. 1114 01:02:04,587 --> 01:02:07,173 Listen, I need you to do a favor for me. 1115 01:02:11,969 --> 01:02:14,764 Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats. 1116 01:02:14,764 --> 01:02:15,932 The performance is about to begin. 1117 01:02:17,683 --> 01:02:19,435 It's over. 1118 01:02:19,435 --> 01:02:22,730 After this one, I'll be directing on the streets. 1119 01:02:24,106 --> 01:02:28,319 All the doo-dah night All the doo-dah day 1120 01:02:28,361 --> 01:02:30,321 Bet my money On a bobtail nag 1121 01:02:30,363 --> 01:02:31,864 Somebody bet on the bay 1122 01:02:31,906 --> 01:02:32,073 Oh! 1123 01:02:36,077 --> 01:02:38,037 Hey. 1124 01:02:38,079 --> 01:02:39,956 Break a leg. 1125 01:02:42,416 --> 01:02:44,418 Go ahead, Jessica. 1126 01:02:44,460 --> 01:02:45,962 Raise the curtain on the tragedy 1127 01:02:45,962 --> 01:02:47,838 that has befallen the bard's greatest comedy. 1128 01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:48,256 I'm praying for you, sir. 1129 01:02:49,674 --> 01:02:52,176 Thanks. 1130 01:03:00,059 --> 01:03:03,729 Did ya ever read A Shakespeare play 1131 01:03:03,771 --> 01:03:04,397 And never understand A word they say 1132 01:03:07,858 --> 01:03:09,485 Ahh-ahh 1133 01:03:09,485 --> 01:03:12,154 Well, tonight we're gonna Make things clear 1134 01:03:12,196 --> 01:03:14,448 'Cause Shakespeare's dead 1135 01:03:14,490 --> 01:03:17,952 But we're all here 1136 01:03:20,413 --> 01:03:20,580 William Shakespeare Wrote a play 1137 01:03:23,457 --> 01:03:26,210 A long, long time ago 1138 01:03:26,252 --> 01:03:28,504 About this chick Named Hermia 1139 01:03:28,504 --> 01:03:28,713 And the two guys Who loved her so 1140 01:03:31,465 --> 01:03:34,135 They said, Hermia Please be my girl 1141 01:03:34,176 --> 01:03:36,804 But she only wanted one She wanted one 1142 01:03:37,346 --> 01:03:39,682 And the night The fairies came to play 1143 01:03:39,682 --> 01:03:42,685 That's the night We have our fun 1144 01:03:42,685 --> 01:03:44,937 'Cause I love him And I love her 1145 01:03:45,646 --> 01:03:48,482 If only her best friend He'd prefer 1146 01:03:48,524 --> 01:03:50,943 And so the fairies All hatched a scheme 1147 01:03:50,985 --> 01:03:53,070 In this Boom-shacka-lacka-lacka 1148 01:03:53,321 --> 01:03:56,198 Midsummer night's dream 1149 01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:58,868 Midsummer night's dream 1150 01:03:58,868 --> 01:04:01,162 Midsummer night's dream 1151 01:04:15,885 --> 01:04:18,220 Look, there's Helena. 1152 01:04:18,220 --> 01:04:20,389 O, fair Helena. 1153 01:04:20,431 --> 01:04:24,477 Call you me fair? That fair again unsay. 1154 01:04:24,518 --> 01:04:25,269 Doesn't Kelly look beautiful? Mmm. 1155 01:04:26,937 --> 01:04:30,316 Demetrius and Lysander love your fair, Hermia. 1156 01:04:31,859 --> 01:04:33,319 Oh, happy fair. 1157 01:04:37,907 --> 01:04:41,410 Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Do it. 1158 01:04:41,494 --> 01:04:43,913 Yeah, baby. Do it. 1159 01:04:43,954 --> 01:04:47,750 Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-waah-ohh 1160 01:04:47,792 --> 01:04:49,543 It's fun to be a fairy And fly from town to town 1161 01:04:52,338 --> 01:04:54,382 Our fairy dust Will keep you up 1162 01:04:54,423 --> 01:04:56,175 You won't come down 1163 01:04:56,217 --> 01:04:57,635 Yeah, it's fun to be a fairy 1164 01:04:58,094 --> 01:04:59,929 And wear such pretty things 1165 01:04:59,929 --> 01:05:03,641 It's fun to carry love juice On your fairy wings, yeah 1166 01:05:03,683 --> 01:05:05,768 What fools these mortals be 1167 01:05:06,936 --> 01:05:10,606 That try to play at love And make a comedy, yeah 1168 01:05:10,606 --> 01:05:13,776 Why can't These mortals learn 1169 01:05:13,818 --> 01:05:17,279 A fairy up above Will never crash and burn 1170 01:05:17,279 --> 01:05:19,615 Yeah, it's fun to be a fairy 1171 01:05:19,657 --> 01:05:22,118 Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah It's fun to be a fairy 1172 01:05:22,118 --> 01:05:24,787 That's right Oooh-ooh-ooh, yeah 1173 01:05:24,787 --> 01:05:28,124 It's fun to be a fairy Uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it 1174 01:05:28,124 --> 01:05:29,834 It's fun to be a fairy 1175 01:05:29,875 --> 01:05:29,959 Give it up, give it up Give it up, give it up 1176 01:05:32,128 --> 01:05:33,796 It's fun to be a fairy 1177 01:05:33,838 --> 01:05:36,882 It's fairy power! 1178 01:05:42,805 --> 01:05:46,100 That was... That was okay! 1179 01:05:47,601 --> 01:05:50,646 Relent, sweet Hermia. 1180 01:05:50,688 --> 01:05:53,482 And, Lysander, yield thy crazed title 1181 01:05:53,482 --> 01:05:55,901 to my certain right. 1182 01:05:55,943 --> 01:05:58,696 You have her father's love, Demetrius. 1183 01:05:58,738 --> 01:06:02,116 Let me have Hermia's. 1184 01:06:02,158 --> 01:06:02,324 Do you marry him? 1185 01:06:05,202 --> 01:06:06,370 Shit box. 1186 01:06:06,412 --> 01:06:08,372 Wanker. Dickweed. 1187 01:06:08,414 --> 01:06:10,416 It's so real, you can almost feel the tension. 1188 01:06:12,042 --> 01:06:14,378 Word. 1189 01:06:14,420 --> 01:06:17,089 Whoo-ooh-ooh Why won't you love me 1190 01:06:17,131 --> 01:06:18,507 Whoo-ooh-ooh Whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh 1191 01:06:22,470 --> 01:06:23,971 There's a girl 1192 01:06:24,013 --> 01:06:26,640 Who says she don't love me 1193 01:06:26,682 --> 01:06:29,018 So that's the girl 1194 01:06:29,059 --> 01:06:31,395 That I got to have 1195 01:06:31,437 --> 01:06:32,897 I'll tell you why 1196 01:06:32,938 --> 01:06:34,690 She's everything A girl ought to be 1197 01:06:36,275 --> 01:06:38,694 And that is why I can't understand 1198 01:06:38,736 --> 01:06:41,530 Why she don't love me No 1199 01:06:41,572 --> 01:06:42,740 Hermia 1200 01:06:43,741 --> 01:06:46,202 I'll make you love me 1201 01:06:46,243 --> 01:06:48,204 Hermia 1202 01:06:48,245 --> 01:06:50,581 I'll make you care 1203 01:06:50,623 --> 01:06:50,831 Never before has a girl 1204 01:06:54,043 --> 01:06:55,669 Hurt me more 1205 01:06:55,711 --> 01:06:59,381 I'm begging Hermia 1206 01:06:59,381 --> 01:07:01,592 Please love me 1207 01:07:01,634 --> 01:07:03,260 Bitch. Pansy. 1208 01:07:03,302 --> 01:07:06,597 Why won't you love me Please love me 1209 01:07:06,639 --> 01:07:06,972 Asshole. 1210 01:07:20,069 --> 01:07:21,821 Hmm, hmm. 1211 01:07:21,862 --> 01:07:23,155 I'll apply to your eye gentle lover's remedy. 1212 01:07:26,158 --> 01:07:28,285 And when thou wakest, 1213 01:07:28,327 --> 01:07:30,621 thou will takest true delight 1214 01:07:30,663 --> 01:07:33,833 in the sight of thy true lover's eye. 1215 01:07:38,671 --> 01:07:39,296 Okay, people, we're back in 20. 1216 01:07:41,674 --> 01:07:43,384 Berke, Berke, I, um... 1217 01:07:43,425 --> 01:07:44,927 I want to talk to you about something. 1218 01:07:44,927 --> 01:07:47,429 Can we go somewhere? Yeah. 1219 01:07:47,471 --> 01:07:49,682 Thank you. 1220 01:07:53,853 --> 01:07:55,479 Well. 1221 01:07:56,355 --> 01:07:59,275 I could use a drink. Yeah. 1222 01:07:59,275 --> 01:08:01,193 Kaisha, you're just not equipped to deal with this. 1223 01:08:01,235 --> 01:08:03,529 I'm talking equipment. We're talking 800 number. 1224 01:08:03,571 --> 01:08:03,654 She wants a blow-up doll. 1225 01:08:04,822 --> 01:08:07,199 I called them once for advice. 1226 01:08:07,241 --> 01:08:10,077 Really? Yeah. 1227 01:08:10,119 --> 01:08:11,704 I had zits on my balls. 1228 01:08:13,455 --> 01:08:15,165 They're gone now. 1229 01:08:16,625 --> 01:08:19,795 Gentlemen, I'm here for a favor. 1230 01:08:20,129 --> 01:08:22,298 In act four, scene one, 1231 01:08:22,339 --> 01:08:25,467 there's a particular effects cue. 1232 01:08:25,509 --> 01:08:27,845 Ah, the volk tube crescendo. 1233 01:08:28,554 --> 01:08:30,639 Right. Now, is this the one? 1234 01:08:30,639 --> 01:08:34,184 Uh, no. That one could take out a village. 1235 01:08:34,226 --> 01:08:35,978 Hmm. I see. 1236 01:08:37,104 --> 01:08:40,232 Well, I was wondering if you might be able 1237 01:08:40,274 --> 01:08:43,652 to detonate it a bit early. 1238 01:08:43,694 --> 01:08:44,069 Isn't that before Mr. Lander's cross? 1239 01:08:46,113 --> 01:08:48,198 Look, all it'll do is scare him. 1240 01:08:48,240 --> 01:08:50,993 I can signal you by raising my sword like this. 1241 01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:55,372 Look, about this whole thing with Striker, 1242 01:08:55,414 --> 01:08:57,041 I'm sorry I didn't believe you. 1243 01:08:57,082 --> 01:08:59,376 I'm sorry you had to find out like that. 1244 01:08:59,418 --> 01:09:00,252 It kinda sucked. 1245 01:09:01,337 --> 01:09:03,797 Look, I know I don't deserve 1246 01:09:03,839 --> 01:09:06,342 to ask you anything right now, but... 1247 01:09:06,383 --> 01:09:08,385 If I could just have one wish, 1248 01:09:09,845 --> 01:09:14,141 it would be that we could go back to the way things were. 1249 01:09:14,183 --> 01:09:15,851 You know? 1250 01:09:15,893 --> 01:09:16,518 I mean, the friends part. 1251 01:09:17,645 --> 01:09:19,772 Yeah, sure. 1252 01:09:21,607 --> 01:09:24,610 And as for the rest of it, well... 1253 01:09:30,908 --> 01:09:32,534 We'll just leave it up to fate. 1254 01:09:41,043 --> 01:09:45,089 Did I mention there was $47 in it for you? 1255 01:09:45,130 --> 01:09:47,800 Not bad. 1256 01:09:47,841 --> 01:09:48,676 Hmm. I believe, Mr. Scrumfeld, 1257 01:09:52,638 --> 01:09:55,599 we have an understanding. 1258 01:09:55,641 --> 01:09:56,767 Remember, gentlemen, when I raise my sword. 1259 01:10:03,607 --> 01:10:04,858 Hey, the music's been, uh... Been good, 1260 01:10:07,069 --> 01:10:10,072 but, uh, you know that song, uh, "Pocketful of Dreams"? 1261 01:10:10,114 --> 01:10:11,740 Down here we call it "Pocketful of Ass." 1262 01:10:11,740 --> 01:10:13,242 Yeah, that's the one. 1263 01:10:13,283 --> 01:10:15,786 Listen, there's been a change of plans. 1264 01:10:18,956 --> 01:10:21,000 Oh, this is different. 1265 01:10:29,425 --> 01:10:31,760 A spell had been cast, 1266 01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:33,929 the lovers sleep, 1267 01:10:33,929 --> 01:10:36,724 though in repose, 1268 01:10:36,765 --> 01:10:37,182 fair Helena's love for Demetrius grows. 1269 01:10:44,815 --> 01:10:47,276 O weary night, 1270 01:10:47,317 --> 01:10:49,236 abate thy hours. 1271 01:10:51,697 --> 01:10:53,365 Steal me awhile from my own company. 1272 01:11:00,956 --> 01:11:01,457 Let me sleep 1273 01:11:05,169 --> 01:11:08,797 For when I sleep I dream 1274 01:11:08,839 --> 01:11:09,465 That you are here 1275 01:11:12,593 --> 01:11:15,012 You're mine 1276 01:11:15,054 --> 01:11:17,639 And all my fears 1277 01:11:17,639 --> 01:11:20,184 Are left behind 1278 01:11:20,225 --> 01:11:22,478 I float 1279 01:11:22,519 --> 01:11:24,813 On air 1280 01:11:24,855 --> 01:11:25,606 The nightingale sings 1281 01:11:28,484 --> 01:11:31,361 Gentle lullabies 1282 01:11:32,654 --> 01:11:33,697 So let me close my eyes 1283 01:11:37,659 --> 01:11:39,745 Jessica! Jessica! 1284 01:11:39,787 --> 01:11:41,789 And sleep Perchance to dream 1285 01:11:44,500 --> 01:11:48,003 So I can see the face 1286 01:11:48,045 --> 01:11:49,922 I long to touch 1287 01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:54,343 To kiss 1288 01:11:54,343 --> 01:11:56,762 But only dreams 1289 01:11:56,804 --> 01:11:58,055 Can bring me this 1290 01:11:59,014 --> 01:12:03,894 So let the moon 1291 01:12:03,936 --> 01:12:06,146 Shine softly on the boy 1292 01:12:07,606 --> 01:12:11,527 I long to see 1293 01:12:11,568 --> 01:12:14,071 And maybe when he dreams 1294 01:12:17,032 --> 01:12:20,160 He'll dream of me 1295 01:12:28,836 --> 01:12:30,254 Hide beneath the clouds 1296 01:12:33,549 --> 01:12:38,387 And whisper to The evening star 1297 01:12:38,554 --> 01:12:40,639 They tell me love 1298 01:12:40,681 --> 01:12:45,352 Is just a dream away 1299 01:12:45,394 --> 01:12:46,353 Dream away 1300 01:12:49,773 --> 01:12:52,151 I'll dream away 1301 01:13:10,043 --> 01:13:10,544 So let the moon 1302 01:13:14,798 --> 01:13:18,427 Shine softly on the boy 1303 01:13:18,468 --> 01:13:18,635 I long to see 1304 01:13:22,806 --> 01:13:26,727 And maybe When he dreams 1305 01:13:27,603 --> 01:13:32,191 He'll dream of me 1306 01:13:36,570 --> 01:13:38,780 Oh-oh-oh-oh 1307 01:13:38,780 --> 01:13:42,910 Dream of me 1308 01:14:05,807 --> 01:14:07,017 Go bid the huntsmen. 1309 01:14:07,184 --> 01:14:08,977 Wake them with... With their horns. 1310 01:14:15,609 --> 01:14:17,778 My lord, I shall reply amazedly, 1311 01:14:17,819 --> 01:14:20,113 half sleep, half waking. 1312 01:14:20,155 --> 01:14:22,115 I came with Hermia hither. 1313 01:14:22,157 --> 01:14:23,158 Our intent was to be gone from Athens so we might, 1314 01:14:24,910 --> 01:14:28,163 without the peril of Athenian law, be wed. 1315 01:14:30,499 --> 01:14:31,250 However... 1316 01:14:32,125 --> 01:14:35,170 What? "However"? 1317 01:14:40,050 --> 01:14:42,803 My lord, 1318 01:14:42,844 --> 01:14:44,972 We slept and slept 1319 01:14:45,013 --> 01:14:47,015 As well you know. 1320 01:14:47,015 --> 01:14:47,391 Things did change 1321 01:14:49,685 --> 01:14:51,311 As love did grow. 1322 01:14:52,729 --> 01:14:55,274 Although, 1323 01:14:55,315 --> 01:14:55,524 In ways fair Hermia's soul and Mine shall forever intertwine 1324 01:15:00,904 --> 01:15:03,615 Alas, we must forever part 1325 01:15:04,366 --> 01:15:08,870 For lo, to another Belongs this heart 1326 01:15:14,209 --> 01:15:16,545 Aww! 1327 01:15:30,809 --> 01:15:32,728 Wait a second! 1328 01:15:32,769 --> 01:15:35,314 Wait a second. You can't do that. 1329 01:15:35,355 --> 01:15:39,276 You can't just change 400-year-old literature! 1330 01:15:39,318 --> 01:15:41,194 It's not even supposed to rhyme! 1331 01:15:43,280 --> 01:15:43,947 Fine. I could do it too. 1332 01:15:45,907 --> 01:15:47,492 I do not like it in a moat 1333 01:15:47,534 --> 01:15:50,579 I do not like it in a boat I do not like it in a car 1334 01:15:50,620 --> 01:15:51,913 How's that? 1335 01:15:51,913 --> 01:15:52,080 Boo! 1336 01:15:54,708 --> 01:15:57,210 Oh, stop cheering. 1337 01:15:58,503 --> 01:16:00,172 Stop cheering! 1338 01:16:00,881 --> 01:16:03,884 Stop cheering! Do it now! 1339 01:16:03,925 --> 01:16:06,678 Stop... Whoa! Oh! 1340 01:16:17,856 --> 01:16:19,900 Thanks. You're welcome. 1341 01:16:34,456 --> 01:16:36,541 What is that? 1342 01:16:36,583 --> 01:16:38,543 It's applause, sir. 1343 01:16:48,011 --> 01:16:48,595 Thank you. Thank you! 1344 01:16:51,723 --> 01:16:54,559 Thank you! 1345 01:17:10,909 --> 01:17:12,869 Oh, my God. Are you crying? 1346 01:17:13,286 --> 01:17:15,664 No, you're just squeezing my puncture wound. 1347 01:17:21,795 --> 01:17:23,505 Mmm. 1348 01:17:23,547 --> 01:17:26,091 Make it a little more like this. 1349 01:17:27,676 --> 01:17:29,052 You were trying to fly into my seat, weren't you? 1350 01:17:30,137 --> 01:17:32,264 - No. - Oh, come on. 1351 01:17:32,305 --> 01:17:34,266 Well, maybe just a little. 1352 01:17:34,307 --> 01:17:37,102 Oh, see, I knew it. You're so bad. I love it. 1353 01:17:37,519 --> 01:17:42,023 Oh, just... Just hold on for one second. 1354 01:17:42,023 --> 01:17:44,568 I'll be right back, okay? 1355 01:17:46,111 --> 01:17:48,363 So... 1356 01:17:48,363 --> 01:17:50,532 you and my sister, huh? 1357 01:17:50,532 --> 01:17:52,409 You're not gonna hit me again, are you? 1358 01:17:52,451 --> 01:17:53,285 No. But I'm not thrilled. All right, man? 1359 01:17:56,872 --> 01:18:00,250 But if it has to be somebody, 1360 01:18:00,292 --> 01:18:01,376 I'm kinda glad it's you. 1361 01:18:02,586 --> 01:18:04,588 Thanks. 1362 01:18:06,548 --> 01:18:08,800 Hey, Kel. Hey. 1363 01:18:08,842 --> 01:18:09,468 Good job tonight. You guys were good. You guys were funny. 1364 01:18:10,969 --> 01:18:14,389 Thanks. Listen, I gotta go. 1365 01:18:14,389 --> 01:18:16,558 Oh, you and Dora Lynn. Yeah. 1366 01:18:16,558 --> 01:18:17,601 Aren't you kind of worried about the whole...? 1367 01:18:19,060 --> 01:18:21,480 Accident-prone? No, no. 1368 01:18:21,521 --> 01:18:24,941 I think Dora Lynn's about to have a change of luck. 1369 01:18:24,983 --> 01:18:25,734 Go, Felix. I'll see you guys later. 1370 01:18:27,569 --> 01:18:29,738 All right. Let's get some dim sum. 1371 01:18:29,779 --> 01:18:31,198 Bye, Berke. 1372 01:18:33,074 --> 01:18:33,783 Oh, my God. 1373 01:18:34,951 --> 01:18:37,245 That's okay. That's fine. 1374 01:18:37,287 --> 01:18:41,875 And he blew off that stage 20 feet at least. 1375 01:18:42,125 --> 01:18:44,085 And then she took off 1376 01:18:44,127 --> 01:18:47,839 like this beautiful spaceship into the night. 1377 01:18:53,803 --> 01:18:56,348 Dude, we burned the shit out of his face. 1378 01:18:56,389 --> 01:18:58,016 Tomorrow night, same thing. 1379 01:19:02,145 --> 01:19:04,940 So my theatrical debut. 1380 01:19:04,940 --> 01:19:06,107 What did you think? 1381 01:19:06,775 --> 01:19:09,611 You came on pretty strong in that last act. 1382 01:19:09,611 --> 01:19:11,738 Yeah, I was good. 1383 01:19:11,780 --> 01:19:14,199 So you know we gotta do this again tomorrow night. 1384 01:19:14,908 --> 01:19:17,953 How do you think it's gonna end? 1385 01:19:17,953 --> 01:19:21,623 We could bring back the always popular Big Red song. 1386 01:19:21,623 --> 01:19:24,417 I'd rather be shot again with an arrow. 1387 01:19:24,459 --> 01:19:26,836 I thought it was a prop. 1388 01:19:26,878 --> 01:19:28,505 Yeah, yeah. 1389 01:19:38,098 --> 01:19:38,515 Do you remember The 21st night of September 1390 01:19:43,395 --> 01:19:46,606 Love was changing the minds Of pretenders 1391 01:19:48,233 --> 01:19:51,528 While chasing The clouds away 1392 01:19:51,570 --> 01:19:53,655 Hey, yeah, yeah 1393 01:19:53,655 --> 01:19:54,739 Our hearts were ringin' 1394 01:19:55,782 --> 01:19:59,494 In the key that our souls Were singin' 1395 01:19:59,494 --> 01:20:02,747 As we danced in the night Remember 1396 01:20:02,789 --> 01:20:02,872 How the stars Stole the night away 1397 01:20:07,544 --> 01:20:09,838 Everybody, sing 1398 01:20:09,879 --> 01:20:10,964 Ba-de-ya Say, do you remember 1399 01:20:13,717 --> 01:20:17,387 Ba-de-ya Dancing in September 1400 01:20:17,429 --> 01:20:18,972 Ba-de-ya Never was a cloudy day 1401 01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:25,353 There never There never, yeah 1402 01:20:25,395 --> 01:20:27,856 Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya 1403 01:20:27,897 --> 01:20:32,444 Can you feel it Do you feel it 1404 01:20:32,485 --> 01:20:34,529 Hey Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya 1405 01:20:34,529 --> 01:20:35,155 Ooh, ooh-ooh Ba-da-ba-da-yea 1406 01:20:37,365 --> 01:20:40,160 Oh, somebody Help me sing 1407 01:20:40,201 --> 01:20:42,454 My thoughts are with you 1408 01:20:42,495 --> 01:20:43,246 Holding hands with your heart To see you 1409 01:20:45,165 --> 01:20:50,003 Only blue talk and love Remember 1410 01:20:50,045 --> 01:20:51,296 How we knew love Was here to stay 1411 01:20:54,090 --> 01:20:57,552 Mmm, now December 1412 01:20:57,594 --> 01:21:01,473 Found the love That we shared in September 1413 01:21:01,514 --> 01:21:05,894 Only blue talk and love Remember 1414 01:21:05,935 --> 01:21:07,437 True love we share Today 1415 01:21:10,482 --> 01:21:13,109 Oh-ooh, sing it Ba-de-ya 1416 01:21:13,151 --> 01:21:15,570 What you say now Say, do you remember 1417 01:21:15,612 --> 01:21:17,489 Ba-de-ya Hey, what you say now 1418 01:21:17,530 --> 01:21:19,783 Dancing in September 1419 01:21:19,824 --> 01:21:23,119 Ba-de-ya Never was a cloudy day 1420 01:21:23,161 --> 01:21:23,620 It's been never It's been never, whoa 1421 01:21:27,165 --> 01:21:29,209 Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya 1422 01:21:29,250 --> 01:21:31,961 Hey, do you feel it 1423 01:21:32,003 --> 01:21:34,923 Do you feel it, hey 1424 01:21:34,964 --> 01:21:39,010 Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya Ba-de-ba-de-yea 1425 01:21:39,052 --> 01:21:39,844 Oh, bring it down Right now 1426 01:21:43,264 --> 01:21:46,601 The bells were ringing 1427 01:21:46,643 --> 01:21:47,977 Our love was singing Mmm 1428 01:21:50,230 --> 01:21:52,440 Do you remember 1429 01:21:52,482 --> 01:21:56,027 Never a cloudy day 1430 01:21:56,111 --> 01:21:58,780 Oh, somebody Help me sing 1431 01:21:58,780 --> 01:22:01,324 Ba-de-ya Say, do you remember 1432 01:22:01,366 --> 01:22:03,118 Say that you remember 1433 01:22:03,118 --> 01:22:05,620 Dancing in September Ba-de-ya 1434 01:22:05,620 --> 01:22:07,455 It never rains, rains 1435 01:22:07,455 --> 01:22:09,416 Never was a cloudy day 1436 01:22:09,457 --> 01:22:12,210 Never a cloudy day Ooh-ooh 1437 01:22:13,044 --> 01:22:17,132 Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya 1438 01:22:17,173 --> 01:22:18,717 Sing it again 1439 01:22:18,758 --> 01:22:20,343 What you say now, ooh 1440 01:22:22,262 --> 01:22:25,473 What you say now Ooh 1441 01:22:25,515 --> 01:22:28,351 Oh, oh-oh, yeah-yeah 1442 01:22:29,144 --> 01:22:30,854 Hey, hey 1443 01:22:30,895 --> 01:22:34,107 Come on Sing it again 1444 01:22:34,149 --> 01:22:36,317 Come on 1445 01:22:36,359 --> 01:22:39,154 Sing it again Yeah, hey, hey 1446 01:22:39,195 --> 01:22:44,492 Ba-de-yea Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh 1447 01:22:44,534 --> 01:22:47,954 Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya 1448 01:22:47,996 --> 01:22:51,499 Sing it again Whoa, yeah 1449 01:22:51,499 --> 01:22:52,542 Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya Ba-de-ya 1450 01:22:54,544 --> 01:22:59,007 Ba-de-ba-de-yea 1451 01:23:10,810 --> 01:23:13,730 Oh, it's so Funny to be seeing you 1452 01:23:13,772 --> 01:23:16,691 After so long, girl 1453 01:23:16,691 --> 01:23:16,858 And with the way you look I understand 1454 01:23:19,736 --> 01:23:22,864 That you were not impressed 1455 01:23:22,864 --> 01:23:24,949 But I heard you let That little friend of mine 1456 01:23:28,369 --> 01:23:31,706 Take off your party dress 1457 01:23:33,708 --> 01:23:38,004 I'm not gonna get Too sentimental 1458 01:23:38,046 --> 01:23:42,550 Like those other Sticky valentines 1459 01:23:44,511 --> 01:23:49,140 'Cause I don't know if you Were loving some body 1460 01:23:49,349 --> 01:23:53,186 I only know it isn't mine 1461 01:23:55,230 --> 01:23:57,232 Alison 1462 01:23:59,943 --> 01:24:05,240 I know this world Is killing you 1463 01:24:05,281 --> 01:24:05,323 Oh, Alison 1464 01:24:12,163 --> 01:24:13,456 My aim is true 1465 01:24:18,461 --> 01:24:21,548 Well, I see You've got a husband now 1466 01:24:22,090 --> 01:24:24,509 Did he leave Your pretty fingers 1467 01:24:24,551 --> 01:24:28,096 Lying in the wedding cake? 1468 01:24:28,137 --> 01:24:29,639 You used to hold him Right in your hand 1469 01:24:32,892 --> 01:24:36,938 I'll bet he took All he could take 1470 01:24:39,065 --> 01:24:43,736 Sometimes I wish that I could Stop you from talking 1471 01:24:43,778 --> 01:24:48,116 When I hear the silly things That you say 1472 01:24:50,159 --> 01:24:53,830 I think somebody better Put out the big light 1473 01:24:54,247 --> 01:25:00,461 'Cause I can't stand To see you this way 1474 01:25:00,503 --> 01:25:01,921 Alison 1475 01:25:05,466 --> 01:25:10,013 I know this world Is killing you 1476 01:25:10,638 --> 01:25:15,143 Oh, Alison 1477 01:25:17,687 --> 01:25:18,104 My aim is true 1478 01:25:23,318 --> 01:25:26,195 My aim is true 1479 01:25:28,823 --> 01:25:31,993 My aim is true 1480 01:25:34,287 --> 01:25:34,329 My aim is true 1481 01:25:39,667 --> 01:25:42,253 My aim is true 1482 01:25:45,048 --> 01:25:48,593 My aim is true 1483 01:25:50,511 --> 01:25:53,765 My aim is true 1484 01:25:55,934 --> 01:25:58,394 My aim is true 97573