All language subtitles for Chico.and.the.Man.S02E13.The.Juror.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

♪ One two
a one two three and ♪

♪ Chico
Don't be discouraged ♪

♪ The Man he ain't so hard
to understand ♪

♪ Chico if you try now ♪

♪ I know that you can lend
a helping hand ♪

♪ Because there's good
in every one ♪

♪ And a new day has begun ♪

♪ You can see the morning sun
if you try ♪

♪ And I know
Things will be better ♪

♪ Oh yes they will
for Chico and The Man ♪

♪ Yes they will
for Chico and The Man ♪

Alright, come on, Ed, meet your supper.

Because I've been slaving
all this hot plate all day

cooking this grub.

Oh, yeah, I think we
ought to wait for Chico

to get back from jury duty.

Yeah, when they called
Chico for jury duty

I didn't think he's going
to be gone all day.

Hey, Ed, I wonder what
kind of case is it?

Well, it's in a criminal court

so I figure it's a criminal case.

- Good thinking.
- Yeah.

I always follow them kind of cases.

You see, murder and robbery
are two of my two favorites.

I know, my soft spots are
arson and extortion.

- They're good too.
- Yeah.

But if I had my way...

You know something?
If I had my way...

Ain't nothing better than
a good old fashioned

down to earth assault and battery.

I can hardly wait to
hear the gory details.

Yeah, me too.

And I sure hope they
weren't one of them just

ordinary common muggings, you know me.

Yeah, I guarantee you, if it's
anything less than murder

I'll kill him.

Head for the border, here
comes law and order.

I have returned.

Yeah, come on, Chico, go
get down to the cases.

Yeah, tell us what
happened in court today.

Yeah, we've been waiting for you.

Mm, something smells good.

That ain't it.

Alright, alright, who's done it?
Was it the butler?

Yeah, it was... Did he use
a blunt Heisman or axe?

- Oh, you mean the trial?
- Yeah, the trial.

That what we wanna her. Come on.
Let's sit down, Louis.

Chico's gonna tell us all about it.

- Right?
- I'm sorry.

I can't discuss it with a third party.

I'll fix that.
Louis, go home.

You try to kick me out of here

and that'd be two crimes to talk about

his and mine.

- Go on and talk, Chico.
- I'm sorry, I can't.

I'll kill him. I'll kill him!

I'll rather... than live,
that's what I'll do.

Yeah, Chico, go on, tell us.

Come on.
Tell us what's going on.

We wanna hear all about it, we've
been waiting all day to--

Oh, that kind of case, huh?

No, no, no, no.
That means quiet.

Now he's gonna tell us.

Basically, that's the whole case.

That's it, I don't care
what you're saying

I'm not gonna beg you again.

I'm not gonna listen.

Okay. You're not missing anything.

Who wants to hear about a
girl in a see-through blouse

who looks like a Playboy centerfold?

- We do.
- We do.

- Okay. What is she accused of?
- Nothing.

She sits next to me in the
jury box, looking good.

Come on, Chico, tell us about the trial.

We'll keep it to
ourselves, won't we, Ed?

We sure will.

Oh, okay.
But don't say anything.

I don't wanna be influenced
by listening to you.

What are you talking about?

You never listened to me before.

Okay, I'll tell you.

But I'm like the boy on the first date.

Anything you say can
give me the wrong idea.

Yeah? Well, I'm like a
girl on a first date.

I don't care how many ideas you got

nothing's going to happen.

Now, tell us what happened.

Okay. First, the bailiff came in.

"Hear ye, hear ye, the case of
John Doe versus Jane Smith."

Jane Doe or John Smith?

Where'd this take place?
In a courtroom or a motel?

I'm changing the names to
protect the innocent.

It's really an old man
versus a young girl.

Ah-ha! He's guilty.

Ed, you can't make snap
judgments like that.

Chico, I want to tell you something

'cause you're a very young man.

Any time an old man gets
involved with a young chick

he's got to be guilty of something.

Even if phony felony was daydreaming.

Order! Order!

Now one more outburst like
this, and I clear the garage.

That's legal talk.
I learned that today.

Well...

You wanna hear about this or not?

Well, I tell you, he's right.

You see, first...

First, you got to hear

all the evidence against the defendant

and then you got to
hear all the evidence

in favor of the defendant.

Yeah.

And then put all those evidence
up against each other.

And then you look at him.

As his eyes pulls together

forget the evidence.

That sucker's guilty.

Just sit down or I won't tell
you the rest of the case.

Alright. Now, this the good part.

The prosecutor comes in, right?

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury.

"Alright, honey, give me
your phone number later.

"I will show you how this here

"vile, decrepit, evil and depraved--"

- But lovable.
- "...old man..."

"...did, in the privacy
of his hardware store

"accost and make advances upon

"this innocent young girl."

Oh...

"Innocent?

"The defense maintains that if her eyes

"were any closer together, she'd
have to wear a monocle."

"I object, Your Honor.

"We approve

"now this girl here

"fell down and fainted
in the hardware store

"and when she woke up, who
should be breathing heavily

into her face but this old mother here."

Now he's getting to the good stuff.

"Your Honor, I object.

"My client was merely
trying to revive her

"with mouth to mouth resuscitation.

"Granted, he was naked from the waist up

"but it was a very hot day."

Look, I don't care how the day was

I still say he's guilty.

As a matter of fact, guilty
is too good for him.

Yeah, and I bet his eyes
are so close together

ain't no room for his nose.

Court is adjourned now.

Hey, Louis

is there anything about this
case that sounds familiar?

Yeah, it's on the TV rerun.

No, no, no, I'm talking about

you remember a couple of years ago

this girl came into Pop
Winter's hardware store

she fainted and fell down

and then a little time
later, she sued him.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.

Louis, this is that case.

Oh, Ed, it can't be.
That happened two years ago.

I know it happened two years ago

and it's just coming to trial right now.

Oh, poor old Pop Winters,
such a great guy.

He's done so much for
everybody in this community.

You realize he helped me get
started in this garage.

You remember when I hurt my back?

Yeah.

And old pop loaned me his old trust?

Yeah.

Boy, oh, boy.

Louis, I think we may have guilted Pop

right into the big house.

We gotta do something about this.

I know what you're thinking about, Ed

but tampering with the jury is a felony.

Well, we won't tamper with Chico

we'll just tinker with him a little bit.

Yeah, but you gotta remember too, Ed

those who tinker wind up in the clinker.

- Think about that.
- I will.

Hey, Louie, wait a minute

you ain't going to say goodnight to me?

No, Chico, I don't wanna get involved.

Uh...

I'll get to work on the car, Ed.

Uh, hey, Chico, uh

why don't you just relax, sit down here

and tell me all about
that innocent old man

who is being framed by
a corrupt prosecutor?

Wait a minute, a minute ago

this guy was public enemy number one.

Now, all of a sudden, he's Mr. Clean.

Listen, you've influenced me enough.

I don't wanna hear any more about it.

Okay, that's the way
you feel about this.

Dropped. Finished. Forgotten.

- Not another word.
- Good.

But it was Pop Winters, wasn't it?

You know him?

Know him? Only by reputation.

As the saint of East Los Angeles.

Ed, I'm not allowed to hear
things like that, man.

Time suddenly changed.

You know, I remember...

...when that little
clinic on Fourth Street

needed a new roof

and who came to the rescue?

A hardware owner who offered
a gross of shingles

and that anonymous owner was
none other than Pop Winters.

And on one Christmas Eve

this man came down into the
roughest neighborhood

in Los Angeles, full of muggers.

He went in that neighborhood
dressed as Santa Claus

and came out looking like Lady Godiva.

And that man was Pop...

Chico!

- Were you addressing me?
- Yes.

Would you give that thing a rest

or put it out of its misery?

Okay, as long as I don't
hear another word

about you-know-who.

Okay. I won't even mention his name.

Good.

- Ed, is something the matter?
- Oh, no. Nothing at all.

It's just that every time
the weather changes

my leg whispers to me

"Normandy invasion."

There I was on the beach

shell and mortar falling all around me.

I couldn't move.

How did you get out?

I'm glad you asked that.

One man, one man alone.

A brave man risked his life to save me.

I think of... No, it's not
the man you're thinking!

- It's not you-know-who?
- No. No.

The man who saved my
life was Charlie Hunt.

Oh, okay.

But it was Pop Winters who
sent him to find me.

I'm leaving, you're not gonna see me...

- No. Come back. Come back.
- No, I'm not.

Chico, please come back.
Because you...

Oh, ah...

I knew he'd come back.

This'll only take a minute, Chico.

Yeah. Hey, there, Reverend, how are you?

It's good to see you.
What brings you here today?

Well, Ed, I need some new equipment

for my little league baseball team.

Your little league baseball team?

You're talking about those
little juvenile delinquents

always breaking my windows?

Ed, just picture it

your team of a Saturday morn.

Ed's Evangelists

spreading the gospel of
Ed's glorious garage.

Go, team, go! Do or die!

Knock them to the floor.

Smite them hip, smite them thigh

Isaiah Chapter Four!

Last time I remember, I think
I was heading for the door.

Yeah. After that, I
think I need a drink.

- Hey!
- Huh?

I just thought of something.

Didn't we have a little league team

that won the pennant a
couple of years ago?

Was the name of it Pops Peanuts?

Uh, yes, but unfortunately

Pop is no longer the sponsor of that--

Of course, he's no longer
the sponsor. You know why?

Because some shyster ambulance chasers

are trying to frame this poor man

in front of a jury of dummies.

Uh, no offense.

That does it.

If Pop did all these great
things you said he did

how can I believe that he did

all the bad things the girl said he did?

Well, that's what I'm trying
to get through to you.

Well, you got through.
I know what I have to do.

Yeah, declare Pop not guilty.

No. Disqualify myself from the jury.

No, wait a minute now.
Hey, hey, hey. Chico.

No, Chico, the judge won't like it.

You could get yourself
in a lot of trouble.

What can he do to me?

You ever heard of a hung jury?

Well, as Nathan Hale said
as he was being hung

"I regret that I have but one
life to give for my..."

Mr. Rodriguez, I understand

you have some questions
you want to ask me.

That's right, Your Honor.

Well, couldn't you ask your questions

after the court opens?

Yeah, well, I'd rather not ask them

in front of the other jurors.

Oh, well, go ahead.
I'm listening.

Your Honor, how far can you go
when you tamper with the juror?

You mean that cute little
girl who sits next to you

in the jury box?

No, no, Your Honor, see

it's a little more serious than that.

Oh, have you met her parents?

No, it's not her. It's me.

Well, has she met your parents?

Your Honor, you don't understand.

I think I should be
disqualified from the jury.

Wouldn't it be a little less dramatic

if I just changed your seat?

Your Honor

I've been influenced by someone.

Oh, that kind of tampering.

Well, did you do everything
you could to prevent it?

Everything. I yelled.
I hummed to myself.

I even ran the motor.

You ran the motor?

What else can I do?

Well, don't explain.

If you say you ran the
motor, I believe you.

Sit down.

Over here.

Now, what did this person do
to attempt to influence you?

Everything, told me about the peanuts

the wound in the leg, and Santa Claus

dressed as Lady Godiva.

Please don't explain anymore.

The important thing is that

you had the courage to come forward.

Well, oh, it's nothing.

And, of course, I'll use the
full extent of the law

to prosecute this felon.

Wait a minute, what felon?

The felon that attempted
to influence you.

In this state, it's a crime

punishable by a $5,000 fine
or five years in jail.

Cheese and crackers.

Alright.

That's some choice, Your Honor.

Give me his name.

Whose name is that?

The name of the felon who
attempted to influence you.

Your Honor, I don't know
what you talking about.

Mr. Rodriguez, you're still under oath

and I'm instructing you
to give me the name

of this unprincipled and vicious felon.

Yeah, well, I can't do that.

If I told you the name

of the unprincipled and vicious felon

I'd be hurting the nicest,
sweetest, kindest person

who ever lived.

Do you know anything
at all about zippers?

Do I know about zippers?

You're talking to a zipper kid.

I have zipped across this
country three times.

Allow me.

Pardon my fingers.
Here, hold on.

Okay, here we go.

Hey, uh. That caught there.
There.

Lookie there.

They don't make them
like these, do they?

That's yours, Your Honor.

Mr. Rodriguez, if you continue

I will have to hold you in contempt.

Your Honor, you can hold
me wherever you like.

Mr. Rodriguez.

I was only playing.

Right. Uh...

Your Honor, I'm not easily intimidated.

Courage is my virtue and
integrity, my heritage

and I fear nothing but fear itself.

What you gonna do to me?

Bailiff.

- Hey, Chico.
- Hi, Ed. How you doing?

Oh. Hey, I brought you something.

- Yeah? What'd you bring me?
- Your favorite cookies.

Well, they're half gone.

Well, they're my favorites
too, you know.

Here, take some.

Well, I guess you'll have
to wait till you get out

before you can eat it.

Tell me, kid, how they treating you?

- Oh, okay, I guess.
- Yeah.

How's your room?

Well, it's small, but it's cozy.

You have a good view?

A good view?

Yeah, I overlook the
guards and the warden.

Oh, yeah. I feel terrible.

I guess it's all my fault.

You know, I-I keep
worrying about the effect

of being in jail will have on you.

You could start thinking
like a convict, you know.

Ed, that'll never happen to me.

Oh, glad to hear that.

- You know why?
- Why?

I'm busting out of here tonight, see.

I'm taking the warden with me.

And no prison can hold me. No!

You, you call this justice?

Why, that boy is as innocent as I am.

That's why he's behind bars.

And you, Brown, you're
accused of jury tampering.

Now, how do you plead?

Well, I-I haven't figured that out yet.

I think, I think I'll plead
guilty with an explanation.

Well, what is the explanation?

Uh, that's what I haven't
figured out yet.

Well, think about it.

What made you do it?

Your Honor, I merely told Chico
the truth about the defendant.

Now, what else could I do?

You could do about five years.

Five years?

Five years? I could...

Alright, go ahead.
Put me in jail.

I'll bet it's better on the inside

than it is on the outside.

Yeah, put me on a rock
pile, breaking rocks

making little ones out of big ones.

After years of doing
body and fender work

that should be a snap.

Yeah, put me on bread and water.

Throw me in a solitary

because I'm used to eating alone

and I'm used to drinking alone.

And you might as well put a cot in there

because I'm used to sleeping alone.

Now, go ahead, put me in jail.

Uh, five years, huh?

Well, the laughs gonna
be on you, Your Honor

because I ain't got five years left.

Well, do as much of it as you can.

Mr. Rodriguez--

I've never seen this man
before in my life.

Quiet, quiet, I'm gonna spring you.

Your Honor, I demand to
rid of corpus delicti.

Mr. Brown.

"Corpus delicti" is a legal expression

for a person's body.

Right. And I want this person's
body out of here right away.

All I want to know is how did
you influence Mr. Rodriguez?

Oh, brilliantly.

Yeah, that was telling...

Mr. Brown, for some reason

I don't seem to be
getting through to you.

Mr. Rodriguez, would you leave
the room for a moment, please?

Now, Mr. Brown, could you
be a little more specific?

Specific? I'll be a
little more specific.

The man who is the defendant
in trial in your courtroom

is known as the Saint
of East Los Angeles.

You are not supposed to appeal
to the court's sympathy.

Ah, sympathy, sympathy.

That's the basis for
this man's whole life.

Why, the entire community loves him.

Why, when our little
clinic was in big trouble

needed a new roof, who came
to the sick and afflicted

and gave 'em the shingles, huh?

Mr. Brown, you're trying to influence--

Who, may, who help the
widows and the orphans?

Who help the widowed orphan?

Who help the orphaned widows?
Who helped--

- I'm warning you.
- Yeah, yeah.

And who found all those
little hookey players

and juvenile delinquents
and put them together

and made a winning little league
pennant team out of them?

They were known as Pop's Peanuts.

- Pop's Peanuts?
- Pop's Peanuts.

I've heard of them.

Of course you have.

They're the most miserable little bunch

of juvenile delinquents you ever saw.

My grandson plays with them.

They're the sweetest and nicest
little juvenile delinquents

you ever saw.

So that's the defendant?

- Yeah.
- Well, that settles that.

Uh, bailiff.

Will you bring in the defendant

and bring Mr. Rodriguez back in here?

Mr. Brown, influencing a juror

only gets you five years.

Influencing a judge gets you ten.

I'm not gonna say one
word without my lawyer.

Ed Brown. What did you do?

Shh.

Don't say a word till
you get your lawyer.

What are you talking about?
I'm innocent.

Oh, boy.

Then are you in trouble
in this courtroom?

Mr. Winters?

I think she wants to talk to you.

Yes, Your Honor.

I'm going to have to
declare this a mistrial

and I'll have it rescheduled
some time next month.

Next month?
I don't want a mistrial.

I'm sorry, but I have
to disqualify myself

because these people have convinced me

that you're a wonderful man.

How dare you convince her
I'm a wonderful man?

What have you done to me?
I don't want a mistrial.

I'm not guilty.

I have four witnesses waiting
to testify for me. Oh.

Excuse me.
I've got to dismiss the jury.

And the rest of you, please go home.

- Your Honor...
- Yes?

Your zipper's open.

Looking good.

- Hey, Ed.
- What?

- Did you read the paper?
- No.

The jury found Pop Winters not guilty.

Well, that's what I've
been trying to tell you.

He never could've done what
that girl said he did.

You know, the man's 70 years old.

It's the old can-he-do problem.

Wait, wait, wait.
Okay, I'll bite.

What's the old can-he-do problem?

The problem is, you're 70...

- What can he do?
- What can he do?

"Chico and the Man" was recorded live

before a studio audience at NBC Studios

Burbank, California.

♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪

♪ Spent much of his time
in the street ♪

♪ His mind was craving
for knowledge ♪

♪ His belly for
something to eat ♪

♪ But times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Alright ♪

♪ Yeah ♪