All language subtitles for Chico.and.the.Man.S01E01.Pilot.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

[José Feliciano] One, two, three and...

♪ Chico, don't be discouraged ♪

♪ The Man, he ain't
so hard to understand ♪

♪ Chico, if you try now ♪

♪ I know that you can
lend a helping hand ♪

♪ Because there's good
in everyone ♪

♪ And a new day has begun ♪

♪ You can see the morning sun
if you try ♪

♪ And I know
things will be better ♪

♪ Oh, yes, they will
for Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Yes, they will for
Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Even though he's funny,
he don't understand, yeah ♪♪

Oh, you're going to make it
another one of those days,

huh, God?

I'm sorry.

I'm not complaining.
I'm just reporting.

Now, what's it going to be?

Stay up or go back to bed?

Tails, I go back to bed.

Heads. I lose.

Oh, well.

Alright, Ed Brown's open for business.

One pump, no waiting.
Don't get trampled in the rush.

Let's see what we got here.

Let's see.

Hey, we don't need that.

There you go.

There we go.

I need a little breakfast.

Oh, come on, Ed.

Drinking at 9:00 in the morning?

Well, let's see.
It's 5:00 in London.

God save the queen.

Something wrong with your horn?

Uh, no.

It keeps honking.

You got any gas?

Oh, you didn't come in here
just to make noise, huh?

What do you want?
Regular or supreme?

Supreme.

You'll get five gallons if you're lucky.

I got more gas in my stomach
than I got in my pump.

You guys think you own the world now.

Look, I'm in a hurry.
Check under the hood, will you?

It's all there.

My water.

What about it?

Well, check it.

Oh, you mean in the car?

Alright, stand back.
These things get hot sometimes.

May spray a little bit over here.

Oh.

Wait a minute.

Will you hurry it up?

You want me to hurry it up?

Yes.

Wait a minute!
You didn't do anything.

I hurried up, didn't I?

You know, this used to
be a nice neighborhood.

A lot of nice people with
nice homes, green trees,

no taco stands.

In those days, Mexicans knew
their place -- Mexico.

People in this neighborhood
don't need a garage.

They run out of gas,

they just siphon it out
of somebody else's tank.

And if their car breaks down,

they just leave it where it
is and steal another one.

Okay, okay.
How much do I owe you?

Oh, well, let's see, uh...

Oh, this was yesterday's price.

It went up again. Let me see.

Should be... Wait. Let
me figure this out.

What credit cards are you on?

The green ones with the
presidents' face on them.

I don't think I have enough cash.

Oh, that's all right.
I'll trust you.

Oh, thank you.

When you come in with the money,
you can have your car back.

Hey!

What are you worried about?

It's only five bucks a
night for storage.

- You can't do that.
- [Ed] Sure I can.

Look at all the space I got here.

Okay. How much is it?

Make it $5.32 with tax.

I'm going to report you to
the Better Business Bureau.

Good. Maybe they'll bring
me some better business.

Have a nice day.

You want me to have a nice day?
Shorten it.

Ah, let's see...

♪ Ba-dum-ba,
ba-dum, ba-dum-ba ♪

Hey, hey, hey!

Oh, buenos días.

What are you doing in here?

Who, me?

Yeah, you. You see somebody
else in the garage?

Garage.
Looks to me like un basurero.

What's that supposed to mean?

Basurero.
It means junkyard.

Get out of here and take
your flies with you.

What flies?

Your flies.

You people got flies all around you.

And while you're standing here,
your flies are getting together

with my flies and making more flies.

You're a nice man.

Will you get out of here?

Go back to your own neighborhood.

This is my neighborhood.

I grew up watching this garage run down.

You need me.

For what?

I'm Supermex.

- [Ed] Who's Supermex?
- [Chico] Super-mexichanic!

Ask anybody in the barrio
about Chico Rodriguez.

You know what they'll tell you?

"Oh, yeah.
Chico can take apart an engine

and put it back together blindfolded.

He don't need no fancy machine

to tell him what the trouble is."

This is my fancy machine.

One listen, I know what the trouble is.

I take care of my uncle's '64 Chevy.

Beautiful condition.
Pom-poms on all the antennas.

Cellophane seat covers, right.

Little dog in the back window
with the head going up and down.

Here.

You want me to fix something?

Yeah.

Tighten up your tongue before
it flaps out of your mouth.

Amigo...

- Don't call me amigo.
- It means friend.

I don't care what it means.
Talk English.

[British accent] Very well, friend.

I would like to be the first Chicano

to be associated with this
floundering enterprise.

I'm not reporting now.
I'm complaining.

You speak all languages.
Tell him to get out of here.

Hey, in this neighborhood,
you're a minority.

And I'm an equal-opportunity employee.

We'd make a terrific team.

What are you, out to lunch?

You're just going to let
this happen to me?

What are you afraid of, old man?

I'm not afraid of anything.

Then why are you drinking?

Because I intend to hit you
on the head with this bottle

in a few minutes, and I don't
want to waste any of it.

Do you want to know a secret?

What?

That stuff is going to kill you.

Now you're catching on.

Jesús, hey, did you hear him?

He's not afraid to die.
Did you hear him?

And don't you talk to
Him in my presence.

Why not?
He belongs to us, too.

You want to wind up on the
right side of the church?

You drink tequila.
That's Mexican holy water.

See, you drink tequila, right?

First you lick salt,
then you sip tequila.

Then you suck lemon.

Then you lick some more salt,
suck some more lemon,

lick some more salt.

Between licking and sucking lemon,

you don't drink so much.

You're really testing me.

First my wife, then this neighborhood,

now this character.

What am I, a modern-day Job?

A job?
No, man, I don't want a job.

I want to be a team.

You want to take me now?
I'm ready.

By the way, it's not nice to talk to Him

with liquor on your breath.

See? See what I mean?
Now they're telling us

how to talk to one another.

And don't drink my water!

That's a switch.

Oh, everybody knows you people are lazy.

Even if I did give you a
job, you wouldn't show up.

You'd be too busy taking a siesta.

Not me, man.
I'm all gung ho.

I was in Vietnam.
I won a Silver Star.

How, in a crap game?

No. Trying to save the
world from democracy.

Mira, here, let me show you.
I've got it here somewhere.

The Virgin of Guadalupe, San Felipe,

miniature mission of San
Jose, uh, St. Christopher.

That's no good anymore.
He got laid off.

Star of David.
I don't take no chances.

There it is, my Silver Star.

You got a bottle opener in that thing?

Good.

You finally understood English.

Hey, why are you so grouchy?
I can see why nobody likes you.

What are you talking about?
Who says nobody likes me?

Everybody says nobody likes you.

But I don't care what
nobody says. I like you.

What do you want?

I need a little help.

I'll show you nobody likes me.

What seems to be the trouble, my friend?

My radiator is overheating.

Oh, well, I'll be very happy
to check it for you, sir.

Let's see what we got here.

Loose radiator-hose connection.

What are you talking about?
How can you tell?

You have to check first.
It could be almost anything.

You got a loose
radiator-hose connection.

Can you fix it?

Sure.
It'll only take a minute.

You're going to tell him he
needs a big radiator job?

No.

You're not even going to try
and sell him a new fan belt?

He doesn't need one.

See, that's what I like
about you. You're honest.

Okay. All done.

Say, you wouldn't happen
to have a hubcap

for this wheel, would you?

No. Sorry.
We don't carry any.

Don't be so sure.
Let me look in the back.

I said we don't carry any!

It don't hurt to look.

I'll put some water in your radiator.

Gee, thanks.

And do you have a Los
Angeles freeway map?

Uh-oh.
There goes the profits.

Alright. In the office.

There's a business map.

Here's a freeway map.

Hey, I put some money in there.
Nothing happens.

You don't know how to work it.
Let me fix it for you.

Take it now.

Hey, thanks.

You're welcome.

And watch out how you handle it.
Be very careful.

Why?

That's why.

I got it.

Where did you find that?

You don't know what you got here.

You got to take inventory, man.

That's great.
How much do I owe you?

Well, let's see...

Well, forget about the
hose, but those hubcaps--

It's on the house.

What do you mean, on the house?

- Public relations.
- "Public relations."

Today is our grand opening.

Gracias.

What was that all about?

He said, "Tell the gringo it's
nice to come into a garage

and not get ripped off for a change."

Well, tell him the gringo
says to go and...

Tell him he's welcome.

Thank you.

[Chico] Tell all your friends.

Well?

You're a yo-yo, an enchilada yo-yo.

But didn't you hear him?

He said he's coming back.
I'm building up the business.

How?
By giving away hubcaps?

I couldn't charge him
for his own hubcap.

What?
His own hubcap.

Sure, I got it from the
other side of his car!

That's dishonest!

See, that's what I like about you.

You're sincere and honest.
You're one of us.

What?

- [Chico] You're one of us.
- [Ed] Bite your tongue.

But it didn't cost him anything,
and it made him happy.

And I want everybody to be happy.

Hey, hold it, hold it, hold it.

If you're looking for a job, forget it.

I told you, I don't want a job.

Good.

I want to be part of something.

I want to belong.
I want my place in the sun.

Go to the beach.

Listen, old man.
How about it? I'm serious.

You and me.

Drop dead.

[Chico] Okay. Okay.
I'm dead.

Does that help you? Can you
make any money with that?

Sure.
I can sell your body to science

and probably get something
extra for the flies.

Listen.
You got nothing now.

Hundred percent of nothing is nothing.

But 50% of something is twice as much.

You need me for a partner.

I got a partner.

Oh, wait a minute.

Now listen.
I've had enough of you.

I'm going upstairs.
I'm closing up for the day.

I didn't believe it.

Everybody told me, but
I didn't believe it.

I've been watching you
since I was little.

I always told everybody there
was something good about you.

But it's not true.
You're just a grouchy, old man.

And worse?
You don't like me.

Huh.
You finally got the message.

Come on, flies. Let's go.

Hey, what is this?

It's clean.

Clean!
The whole garage is clean.

Who stole my dirt?

Hi!

What are you doing in here?

Hey, man.
Close the door.

If you like to look at naked
men, go down to the YMCA.

How'd you get in here?

I thought I locked the door last night.

Yeah, but you left the window open.

You ruined my garage.

Ruined it?
How can I ruin a ruin?

You cleaned it.

Who ever heard of a clean garage?

Well, I talked with Guadalupe.

You see, I don't let her bathe
with me. You understand.

Oh, I wish I could talk
to you in Spanish.

Why?
What do you want to say?

Get out of my garage!

Well, do you want to say
that in a friendly form

or for strangers?

Aah!

What is this?

Hey, what's going on here?
What are you cooking here?

Old inner tubes?

Aside from everything else,
I'm a great cook, too.

Hey, when did you move in here?

Well, I was talking with
the Virgin of Guadalupe,

and she said I have to
give you one more chance.

Will you please get in
touch with Guadalupe?

Look, I want you and
this stuff out of here.

It's beginning to smell like
Saturday night in Tijuana.

That smell attracts my people.

Good.

Open a restaurant in Pasadena
and attract them over there.

If you want me, I'll be in my room.

What room?

What is this?!

It's my room!

This happens to be my old crate.

Yeah, and it had your
trademark all over it--

dust, scratches, wasn't going no place.

[Chico] What did you
ever use it for, Ed?

[Ed] Margaret and me
loved this old crate.

We used to drive up to the
mountains every weekend.

Yeah, we'd just pull off
to the side of the road

and sit there enjoying the
view, watching the sunset.

Oh, boy, she loved sunsets.

Wonder how she's enjoying the view now.

Seeing you sit around
here, giving up on life.

You're no sunset.
You're an eclipse.

I want you out of my garage.
You hear?

I don't want you in my garage.

I don't want you in my men's room.

I want you out of my life.

You don't know what you want.

Yes, I do.
I want a drink.

Now, where did I leave that bottle?

This isn't Sunday.

What'd you do, change your day of rest?

Can't you get this Mexican jumping bean

to jump out of here?

Haa! Oh-oh!

More Tabasco.

Hey, kid. Come here.

Yes, sir.

Do you know anyone around here
who fits this description?

Over six feet tall, 185 pounds,

Hispanic descent, dark-brown eyes,

long black hair, wears a thin musta...

Maybe he likes being frisked.

He's clean.

Sure I'm clean, man.
I just took a shower.

Don't be a wise guy, Pancho.

Hey, how'd you know my name, man?

Don't get smart, beaner.
What are you doing here?

It's my job, man.
I work here.

You work for Ed Brown?

Don't make me laugh.
He hates Mexicans.

He does? Let's arrest him.

Hey. Hey.
What's going on down there?

Mira, mira.
Arrest him, man. Arrest him.

I told you.
Don't be a wise guy.

Someone knocked off a
couple of appliance stores

in this area last night, Ed.

We're investigating.
This kid fits the description.

Same age, same height, same mustache.

Well, we all look alike, don't we?

Maybe it was my mother.

Alright, Pancho.
You're going downtown.

Ah-ah-ah-ah!

We go downtown, and I'll
bring you up on charges

of police harassment,
intimidation and illegal arrest.

Never read me my rights.
That's the law, the Miranda Law.

Where'd you learn that?

In school.
I was born here.

You got papers to prove that?

Why, do you got papers to
prove where you were born?

I'm a Chicano, man.
I was born in this country.

And what's more, we had it first.

You people are the outsiders.

I habla your English.

Why can't you habla a
little of my Español?

Okay, I'll habla your Español.
Vamanos.

Hey. Hey.
Take your hands off him.

He was here all last night.

He was?

And what's more, he works for me.

He does?

Viva la Raza!
Thank you, Guadalupe.

When did you go in for liking Mexicans?

I don't like Mexicans.
I don't like you.

I don't like anybody who
comes into my garage.

You got your own lousy world out there.

Keep it out there.

You better lay off the sauce, Ed.

Keep your nose clean, kid.

I only put it where it belongs.

We'll be watching you.

[Chico] You'll see me here all the time.

Buenos días.

With both your badges.

Come here.
Now level with me.

Were you here all last night?

Sure I was here all last night.

Didn't you hear what you told the cops?

Never mind what I told the cops.
I want to hear from you.

You know I was here all night.

I don't know any such thing.

You mean you told the cops a lie?!

That's what I'm trying to find out.

You mean you weren't sure and
you told them, anyway?!

Answer the question!

Sure I was here, cleaning up.

You know, I can understand
me lying for me.

But you lying for me?
Why?

I didn't do it for you.
I did it for myself.

I just don't want any trouble.

But I thought that--

Don't think.
You don't have the equipment.

But--

Now, listen, for the last time,

I want you to pack up
and get out of here.

But--

Get out of here!
Get out of here!

Get out of here!

Hey, there's my bottle.

[Chico] Yeah.

Where's the booze?

How do you think I got the
grease off the workbench?

You used good booze for that?

Gasoline is too expensive.

Why did you stick this daisy in there?

That was a dumb thing to do.

Wait a minute.
Wasn't so dumb.

In Spanish, a daisy is
called "margarita."

Margaret.

That was your wife's name, right?

You leave my wife out of this.

Well, Margaret, what are we
going to do about this kid?

Hey, Chico, are you deaf?
Can't you hear?

We got a customer.

We? We got a customer?

We got a customer.

We got a customer!

Hey, man, did you hear?
We got a customer.

Him and me, we got a customer!

Yes, I know.
I was here yesterday.

But you're not going to believe this.

I lost another hubcap, this
time from the other side.

Sí.

Yeah.

Oh, hi.

Hi.
I got something for you.

I got something for you, too.

Yeah.

Here.

What is that?
That licking-and-sucking stuff?

No, that's what I was cooking yesterday.

It's ready now. Try it.

Wow. This stuff has got a kick to it.

There's no alcohol in there, either.

Oh, it doesn't need any alcohol.

I'm glad you like it.

Yeah.

Oh!

Hey, look.
It's killing the flies.

What'd you bring for me?

Oh.

Brought you a blanket.

Oh, hey, that's nice, but
I'm plenty warm in here.

It's not for you.
It's for me.

Stuff it in your guitar.
Muffle the damn thing.

It's keeping me awake.

"Chico and the Man" was recorded live

before a studio audience at NBC Studios,

Burbank, California.

♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪

♪ Spent much of his time
in the street ♪

♪ His mind was craving
for knowledge ♪

♪ His belly for
something to eat ♪

♪ But times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, alright ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪