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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,479 --> 00:00:02,611 - Hey. - Hey. 2 00:00:02,654 --> 00:00:03,742 Come on in. We're just setting up. 3 00:00:03,786 --> 00:00:05,614 - Lulu, calm down. - Lulu, I am calm. 4 00:00:05,657 --> 00:00:07,529 Hunter, you drive like a maniac. 5 00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:08,965 Hell yeah, I do. 6 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,837 ♪ Ba dah dah dah Big announcement, people. 7 00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:15,928 So exciting--a chapter from "Home Economics" 8 00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:17,887 is in this month's "Harper's Magazine." 9 00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:22,935 Oh, big publicity win for the company. 10 00:00:22,979 --> 00:00:25,112 Would've been cooler if it was in "Hoopers" magazine, though. 11 00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:26,722 What's "Hoopers"? 12 00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,245 It's a magazine for people who own basketball teams? 13 00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:29,507 Keep up, Tom. 14 00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:31,074 What chapter did they go with? 15 00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,075 Uh, the one where we got married. 16 00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:34,208 "Bride the comes here"? 17 00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,558 Bad news, they printed the title backwards. 18 00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:38,734 Oh, you would get it if you were at their wedding. 19 00:00:38,777 --> 00:00:40,823 Why is there an illustration of a crying bride? 20 00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,651 Yeah, isn't this supposed to be like the happiest day 21 00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:43,652 of your life? 22 00:00:43,695 --> 00:00:44,914 It was... 23 00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:46,481 I mean, eventually. 24 00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:54,924 ♪ 25 00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:57,100 - Well, that's not great. - Ah, it can't be that bad. 26 00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,319 They're not even using the siren. 27 00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:00,277 Oh, boy. 28 00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:03,498 - ♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪ 29 00:01:03,541 --> 00:01:04,716 ♪ Let's go! 30 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:05,978 ♪ Up in the club with my homies ♪ 31 00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:07,589 ♪ Trying to get a little V-I 32 00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:09,982 ♪ Keep it down on the low key, low key ♪ 33 00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,594 ♪ You should know how it feels ♪ 34 00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:14,291 - ♪ Hey, hey - Steady, Tommy. 35 00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:16,728 Don't want to impale you on your big day. 36 00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:18,208 I don't play favorites with my children. 37 00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:20,428 - But if I did... - Oh, come on, Mom. 38 00:01:20,471 --> 00:01:22,647 No one's keeping score around here. 39 00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:25,650 My first book is coming out. We bought a house. 40 00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:28,740 I wasn't gonna tell you guys yet, but I did it. 41 00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,220 I quit my copywriting job at Myspace 42 00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:32,353 to focus full time on fiction. 43 00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:34,703 My son, the professional novelist. 44 00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:36,618 Look out, David Baldacci. 45 00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:38,272 - Oh. - Wow, novelist, so cool. 46 00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,751 It's like being a college lacrosse player-- 47 00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,710 doesn't count for jack. 48 00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:44,147 Connor, we go to all of your lacrosse games. 49 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:48,151 You know, once I go pro, I'll be making 30K a year, easy. 50 00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:49,848 You're gonna have to support him one day. 51 00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:51,937 - Oh, I know. - Sarah, it's almost time. 52 00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:53,809 Shouldn't you do your hair and makeup? 53 00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:55,811 I did it already. 54 00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:56,812 Oh! 55 00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,292 So where's your date? 56 00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:00,032 Uh, he's around here somewhere. 57 00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:01,512 Hey, hey, hey. 58 00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,384 What! Wasabi? 59 00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:04,602 Hey, Dennis. 60 00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:06,822 Hello, my little butterfly sugar baby. 61 00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,040 I keep having to track you down. 62 00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:09,607 You're not trying to ditch me, are you? 63 00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:11,740 Oh, no, no, no, I'm just busy with bridesmaid stuff. 64 00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,568 You are looking sharp, Dennis. 65 00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:16,179 Thank you, Mr. H. Game recognize game. 66 00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:18,268 This is Jonas Brothers for Tuxedo Junction. 67 00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:21,924 So stylish and also financially successful. 68 00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:23,795 - Mm. - Look at the two of you, 69 00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,406 - perfect match. - Right? 70 00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,234 Imagine the "babaes." 71 00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:28,844 We should start tonight. 72 00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:31,455 All right, well, I got a hankerin' for a drinkerin'. 73 00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:32,587 Join me at the barrio? 74 00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:34,154 Let's go. 75 00:02:34,197 --> 00:02:36,460 OK, Sarah, this is getting ridiculous. 76 00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:38,288 Yeah, you gotta come out to Mom and Dad. 77 00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:39,768 This is cray. 78 00:02:39,811 --> 00:02:41,030 You've had serious girlfriends. 79 00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:43,424 Well, one serious college girlfriend. 80 00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:44,860 And you know how Mom is. 81 00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:46,862 I mean, when I got a nose ring, she took to her bed 82 00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:48,211 for three days. 83 00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:50,300 I mean, Dennis is pretty sweet. 84 00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:52,084 Do not get attached, OK? 85 00:02:52,128 --> 00:02:54,217 He's just here to get Mom off my back 86 00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:56,088 so that everyone can enjoy the day. 87 00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:57,612 Well, Marina and I did a pretty sick job 88 00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:58,917 planning this wedding. I don't think 89 00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:00,310 anyone's gonna have trouble enjoying today. 90 00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:03,574 Papi, can you please try to enjoy yourself today? 91 00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,881 Ay, sí, calm down, Roberto. 92 00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:07,709 How am I supposed to calm down when my daughter is 93 00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:09,406 marrying a man who has no job? 94 00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:10,581 He's a writer! 95 00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,279 Same thing. 96 00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,324 How is this man supposed to support a family? 97 00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:16,108 I have a job too, Dad, remember? 98 00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:17,414 Oh, yeah. 99 00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:18,894 My daughter works all day in the law office 100 00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,983 so Tom can stay home and write his little stories. 101 00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:23,203 That's not fair. 102 00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:25,466 Some days, he doesn't write anything at all. 103 00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:26,945 Oh, por favor, mi amor. 104 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:29,034 Tom and I are gonna be fine. 105 00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:31,341 Tom and I are gonna be fine, right, Mommy? 106 00:03:31,385 --> 00:03:32,995 Of course. 107 00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:35,345 No, I mean, I love him so much 108 00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:36,738 and I'm excited to marry him. 109 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:39,044 But if I'm being honest, 110 00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:41,133 him quitting his job when he did, 111 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,961 right after we signed a mortgage 112 00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:44,746 and paid for a wedding-- what if he, you know, 113 00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:47,270 doesn't make good choices? 114 00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:50,055 Have faith in your choices. 115 00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:51,535 You chose Tom. 116 00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:53,320 No matter what bumps in the road come, 117 00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,322 you'll handle it. 118 00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:57,541 You're right, I'm just nervous. 119 00:03:57,585 --> 00:04:00,675 I'm getting married. I'm getting married. 120 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,983 - Que bueno! - Well, look at you, gorgeous. 121 00:04:05,027 --> 00:04:06,550 Hey. 122 00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:08,726 - OK. - Your bouquet. 123 00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:10,511 Everything's set out there. How are you feeling? 124 00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:12,295 Cool, great. Perfect, Great. 125 00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,254 - That's a lot of synonyms. - Yeah. 126 00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:16,212 Could you bring me some water or something? 127 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,214 - Yeah. - By something, I mean tequila. 128 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,260 - No, I assumed. - Thank you. 129 00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:28,355 So, yeah, I'm kind of the MVP of my lacrosse team. 130 00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:30,270 I'm an attorney for a petroleum company. 131 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:31,358 Word. 132 00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:32,620 So I bet seeing a futon in person 133 00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:33,751 would be a real thrill for ya. 134 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,710 Uh-uh. 135 00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:37,451 That's cool. 136 00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:40,105 I'm an athlete, and sex can negatively affect performance, 137 00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:42,804 so try to stay away from it anyways. 138 00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:44,240 What's up, man? 139 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,242 Let me know if you need any jokes for the vows. 140 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,157 I've seen, like, every episode of "American Dad." 141 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,420 Thanks, bro, but I think I got this covered. 142 00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:53,075 I'm a professional writer now. 143 00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,250 Aren't you technically unemployed? 144 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,338 Aren't you technically a virgin? 145 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:56,992 Mm. 146 00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:59,037 Hey, uh, I know you're not officially open, 147 00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:00,648 but could I get a shot of tequila for the bride? 148 00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:03,215 Sure. Any particular brand? 149 00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:05,957 Sarah. 150 00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,350 Denise. 151 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:09,831 What--what are you-- what are you doing here? 152 00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:11,354 Catering. 153 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,138 Oh, right. 154 00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:14,401 It's my summer job while I'm student teaching. 155 00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:16,577 - Mm-hmm. - You? 156 00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,666 - It's my brother's wedding. - Wow. 157 00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:20,624 So, yeah, this is so crazy. 158 00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:22,496 - This is so weird. - Yeah. 159 00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:24,498 I haven't seen you since, um, senior year, when--when we-- 160 00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:25,716 We broke up. 161 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,457 Right, that whole thing. 162 00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:30,939 I'll take your largest beer, please. 163 00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,549 Oh, um, we're actually not open. 164 00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:33,637 And this is just for the bride. 165 00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:35,160 This is also for the bride. 166 00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:38,468 She told me she wanted un grande cervezas. 167 00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:40,601 No. No, no, no, no. 168 00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:41,819 Why don't we head in? 169 00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:43,647 The wedding's about to start. 170 00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:46,737 Hey, maybe we could catch up later, if--if you-- 171 00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:47,608 - Yeah, I do. - OK. 172 00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:48,826 - I do want to. - OK. 173 00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:50,001 All right, see you, Sarah. 174 00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:52,308 Bye, Denise. 175 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,049 Oh, my god. 176 00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:56,399 Wait, like, Denise Denise, the girl you dated in college? 177 00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:57,922 Mm-hmm, yep. 178 00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:58,923 Whoa. 179 00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:11,109 OK. 180 00:06:11,153 --> 00:06:12,502 - This is it. - OK. 181 00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:13,982 This is it. 182 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,418 Mm, well, unless it's not. 183 00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:16,898 Papi. 184 00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:21,206 Hey, Papi, Roberto, sir. 185 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:24,514 Thank you for...your daughter. 186 00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:25,863 Good luck. 187 00:06:27,778 --> 00:06:29,911 You look incredible. 188 00:06:29,954 --> 00:06:31,956 I do. 189 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,871 Dearly beloved... 190 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:40,182 - Oh... - What? 191 00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:42,402 You good? 192 00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:49,104 I mean, they said it was just heatstroke. 193 00:06:49,147 --> 00:06:50,975 As an athlete, I know signs of poor hydration 194 00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:52,324 when I see it. 195 00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:53,717 Yeah, he probably just needs to cool down. 196 00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:54,979 They said they'd call us when they're ready, 197 00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:56,198 and he'll come back and marry us. 198 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:57,939 So we just wait? 199 00:06:57,982 --> 00:06:59,810 Well, in three hours, we're gonna lose this venue 200 00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:02,073 to an Avatar-themed bar mitzvah. 201 00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:04,815 Oh, that movie's so dank. 202 00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:05,990 So, what, we're just supposed to cancel the wedding? 203 00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:07,470 We can't afford to cancel the wedding. 204 00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:08,993 I just quit my job. Oh my god, I just quit my job. 205 00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:10,081 Was that a mistake? 206 00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,214 I thought you felt good about that. 207 00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:13,563 I do. I do. 208 00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:15,217 I don't. 209 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:16,348 Wait, why don't you just do the party 210 00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:17,785 first and the ceremony second? 211 00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:19,787 Hey, buddy, uh, the adults are talking right now. 212 00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,397 Wait, that's actually not a bad idea. 213 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,007 I mean, have the reception. 214 00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:24,356 And by the time it's over, then the priest will be back. 215 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,619 - I mean, I don't know. - Tom, it could work. 216 00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:27,229 Everybody's already here. 217 00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:28,491 And so many people came from out of town. 218 00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:33,061 No, no, no, no, look, look, look, you know what? 219 00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,584 We're doing a backwards wedding. 220 00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:36,107 Yes! 221 00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,848 - Tom, it's gonna to be OK. - Yeah, it's gonna be great. 222 00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:39,894 Look, as long as I'm married to you at the end of this, then... 223 00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:42,200 I'm happy. 224 00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:43,593 So what if it's the opposite of everything 225 00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:46,814 we planned and we're taking advice from... 226 00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,555 - this guy. - OK. 227 00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,295 - OK, everybody, move. - Yeah. 228 00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:51,471 - Sarah. - Yes. 229 00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:52,776 Can you get the caterers to start early? 230 00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,386 Sure. I'll talk to the bartender! 231 00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:56,998 Just in case there's, like, an ice situation. 232 00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:59,479 Connor, think you could get people on the dance floor? 233 00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:02,351 No, I just loaded up this Zune full of absolute bangers 234 00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:04,266 - for no reason. - ♪ Drop it to the floor 235 00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:06,355 - ♪ Drop, drop it to the floor - OK. 236 00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:07,661 - ♪ Drop it to the floor... - It's gonna be great. 237 00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,358 - I love you. - I love you too. 238 00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:12,187 No! We're not married yet. 239 00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:15,886 But we've kissed many times before. 240 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:18,628 Oh, wow, well, we can serve the food, 241 00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:20,369 but we're not quite ready. 242 00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:22,284 So some of the courses are gonna be out of order. 243 00:08:22,327 --> 00:08:24,286 Oh, that's totally fine, 'cause out 244 00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:26,549 of order is sort of the unofficial wedding theme. 245 00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:29,465 You know, I'm not supposed to mingle with the guests. 246 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,249 Oh, mingling. 247 00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:32,512 Is that what we're doing? 248 00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:35,166 Oh, heyo, there she is. 249 00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:36,690 Hi. The drinks have been great. Thank you. 250 00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:39,127 So, "Sa-rahh," since they're doing the whole wedding 251 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,042 thing backwards, what say you and me 252 00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:42,696 skip to the end of the date. 253 00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:43,697 Oh my god. 254 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:46,090 - Uh, Denise-- - It's Dennis. 255 00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:47,788 What, did you get heat stroke, there, honeypot? 256 00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:51,052 Oop, b-wrapped Ds. 257 00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:52,662 He means bacon-wrapped dates. 258 00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:54,185 So you're dating a Dennis. 259 00:08:54,229 --> 00:08:55,752 No, no, not exactly dating. 260 00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:59,539 It's just that, uh, my parents still don't know 261 00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:02,193 that I'm not exactly into men. 262 00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:04,108 Oh, so nothing's changed since college 263 00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:05,632 when you wouldn't let them know I existed. 264 00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:08,373 - It's complicated. - It's really not. 265 00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:10,375 I should get back to work. 266 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:15,555 Oh, my god, Sarah, you got to try this date. 267 00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,384 So let's put our paws together for Tom and Marina, 268 00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:22,213 just about to be married 269 00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,476 but technically still dating. 270 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,739 Thanks, Dad. 271 00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:27,088 ♪ Shake your money maker 272 00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:28,698 ♪ Like somebody 'bout to pay ya ♪ 273 00:09:28,742 --> 00:09:30,265 ♪ I see you on my radar 274 00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:31,701 ♪ Don't you act like you afraid of shh ♪ 275 00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:32,789 ♪ You know I got it 276 00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,312 ♪ If you want to come get it 277 00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:35,705 ♪ Stand next to this money like ♪ 278 00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:37,489 ♪ Eh, eh, eh! 279 00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:38,882 ♪ Shake your money maker 280 00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:40,275 ♪ Like somebody 'bout to pay ya ♪ 281 00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:42,451 And I could not be more proud of my daughter. 282 00:09:42,494 --> 00:09:45,280 And then there's Tom, who I know would never try to start 283 00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:48,370 a family in the world's most expensive city 284 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:50,285 with a mortgage and no steady source of income. 285 00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,635 Because that would be crazy. Am I right? 286 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,419 - ♪ You lookin' good in them jeans ♪ 287 00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:55,638 We're all headed to the dance floor. 288 00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:56,944 See you guys out there. 289 00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:58,685 Yeah, you want to crank that Soulja Boy? 290 00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,034 - ♪ Money on my mind - Yeah. 291 00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:01,557 What's your screen name? 292 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,559 ♪ When you shake your behind ♪ 293 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,039 Right here, right here, right here. 294 00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:06,736 OK, somebody else? Anybody else want to get crunk? 295 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:07,737 - ♪ My whole hood is to my left ♪ 296 00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:09,130 ♪ And they ain't giving a-- 297 00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:14,657 Oh my god, I caught it! 298 00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:15,615 Oh, that still counts. 299 00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:16,746 Pick it up, honey. 300 00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:18,792 Woo! 301 00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:24,362 Well, we wanted a wedding that nobody would forget. 302 00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:26,800 No matter how hard they try. 303 00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:28,976 Ah, yeah, things don't always go as planned. 304 00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:30,412 Priests collapse. 305 00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,022 Cake is served before salmon. 306 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,937 They're just some bumps along the road 307 00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:35,765 that we're on together, right? 308 00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:37,767 Oh, sorry, I'm getting a call. 309 00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:39,247 - You're gonna take it? - It's the hospital. 310 00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:40,422 Take it. 311 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,165 Hello? 312 00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:45,209 OK. 313 00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:46,820 OK. Well... 314 00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:48,952 let me know if anything changes. 315 00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,693 - The priest is dead. - What? 316 00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:51,955 What up, party people? 317 00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:53,653 Who wants to see me toss the B flipper? 318 00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:54,958 Connor, we discussed this. 319 00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:56,786 No backflips. Oh-- 320 00:10:57,831 --> 00:10:59,049 Oh, my foot! 321 00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:00,703 Not my lacrosse foot! 322 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:01,878 Ugh! 323 00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:03,663 So more bumps than anticipated. 324 00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,099 Oh, come on, this wedding is cursed. 325 00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:09,103 Yeah. 326 00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:11,105 Foot's definitely broken. Athletic career is done. 327 00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:12,497 Now I'll never hook up with a gymnast 328 00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:13,673 in the Olympic Village. 329 00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:14,935 OK, just leave your foot up, Connie. 330 00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,719 Sarah, would you get some more ice, please? 331 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:17,502 Sure, I'll just go talk-- 332 00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,200 to the bartender. 333 00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:20,984 So much for professional lacrosse. 334 00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:22,856 Looks like I'm living at home forever. 335 00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:24,422 I'll never get my sewing room. 336 00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:25,859 Where the hell are we supposed to find a new priest? 337 00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:27,425 We have to figure something out. 338 00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:28,818 We're gonna lose this venue in the next 40 minutes. 339 00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:30,254 Well, hey, I could officiate. 340 00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:32,039 I'm an ordained online minister. 341 00:11:32,082 --> 00:11:33,475 That's right. 342 00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:34,432 He married our neighbor's Shih Tzus in the backyard. 343 00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:35,869 It was adorable. 344 00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:37,871 Oh, thanks, but my dad's already 345 00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:39,437 upset that we're getting married outdoors 346 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:41,178 instead of a church. 347 00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:42,832 So if we don't have a priest, he will not be happy. 348 00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:44,442 Well, he's already unhappy. 349 00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:45,661 I mean, he hates me. 350 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:46,749 - No, Tom, he doesn't hate you. - No. 351 00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:47,532 You know, what If he's right? 352 00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:48,838 You know, what if I suck? 353 00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:50,361 I make terrible choices. 354 00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:52,494 I mean, quitting my job right after we bought a house-- 355 00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,061 it's like, what is that? 356 00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:55,105 That's, like, insane, right? 357 00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,977 No. I mean, maybe? 358 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,762 Oh, my god, this is worse than the frickin' dog wedding. 359 00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,851 No, Tom, where are you going? 360 00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:05,115 I hope your brother's OK. 361 00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:07,291 Denise, believe me, I wanted to come out to my parents. 362 00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:08,640 I did. 363 00:12:08,684 --> 00:12:10,555 I--I wanted to be this person for you. 364 00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:12,601 I didn't want you to do anything for me. 365 00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:14,081 I wanted this for you. 366 00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:15,778 Well, the moment just never presented itself. 367 00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:18,128 - Sarah. - Unless that moment is now. 368 00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:19,869 How long does it take to get ice? 369 00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,306 Two white wine spritzers, please. 370 00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:24,700 Uh, Mom, I want to tell you something. 371 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,528 I want to tell you something. 372 00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:28,530 We are planning a family trip to Boca Raton, 373 00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:30,053 and I have already invited Dennis. 374 00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:31,751 - Mom. - What? What is it? 375 00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:34,710 - This is Denise. - I know. 376 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,277 I can read her name tag. 377 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,105 Thank you, Bernice. 378 00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:39,541 We should be getting back to the table. 379 00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:42,065 Every time I go looking for you, you're at this bar. 380 00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,764 People are gonna think you're some kind of booze hound. 381 00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:47,418 Wow, loud and proud. 382 00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:50,900 Yo, yo, yo, bro Montana. 383 00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:52,728 What's cracking, Broseph Gordon-Levitt? 384 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,164 I'm sorry about your foot there. 385 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,166 You must be pretty salty about the lacrosse. 386 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:57,820 I was a water polo man myself. 387 00:12:57,864 --> 00:12:59,735 Oh, the lacrosse of the seas. 388 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:00,910 You know it. 389 00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:02,172 But, look, it's just sports, right? 390 00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,173 Don't sweat it. 391 00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:04,609 Ah not for me, my dog. 392 00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:06,133 Lacrosse was my only plan. 393 00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:09,832 You know pro players get a $30 meal per diem, per day? 394 00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:11,529 Yeah, everybody knows that. 395 00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:13,836 Well, I was gonna put that cash towards Pokémon cards, 396 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,230 you know, load up on first editions, 397 00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,580 holographics--Charizards, Snorlax, Articuno-- 398 00:13:18,623 --> 00:13:20,147 all the legendary birds. 399 00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:21,931 I figure over time I could turn $10K into $50K, 400 00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,454 easy, no prob. 401 00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:25,500 That's a pretty solid return there, home skillet. 402 00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:27,023 And if you're looking for a new direction in life, 403 00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,590 why don't you holler at your boy. 404 00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:30,287 There's my card. 405 00:13:30,331 --> 00:13:32,333 Private equity? 406 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:33,943 I think you just might have a brain for it. 407 00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:34,814 For shizzle. 408 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,165 Hey. 409 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,862 Looks like you could use one of these. 410 00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,472 Thanks. 411 00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:43,866 I've never been a wine gal, but today I see the appeal. 412 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,608 Yeah, I hear you. It's been a day for me too. 413 00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:47,870 Mm. 414 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,393 Want to join? 415 00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:51,743 Uh, sure. 416 00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:53,397 I'm gonna quit this job soon anyway. 417 00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:54,398 Denise. 418 00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:56,618 Marina. 419 00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:58,620 Can I ask you something? 420 00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:00,752 Do you believe in signs? 421 00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:02,885 Like messages from the universe? 422 00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:05,888 Omens, harbingers, the Zodiac, 423 00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:08,325 the spirit realm, Incan Sun worship? 424 00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:09,849 Yeah, why? 425 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,328 OK, normally I don't. 426 00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:14,331 But I feel like today the messaging from the universe 427 00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:16,159 has been extra loud. 428 00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:19,075 Well, the thing about signs is that they are just signs. 429 00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,642 They're not orders. 430 00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:23,253 Ultimately, you get to decide whatever you want to do. 431 00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:24,689 What if I don't know? 432 00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,561 I thought I was just having pre-wedding jitters. 433 00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:28,432 But now I wonder if it's more than that. 434 00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:29,738 What if the person that you love 435 00:14:29,781 --> 00:14:32,045 isn't the person that you need them to be? 436 00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:34,569 I've been there. 437 00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:37,137 So...what do I do? 438 00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:39,530 Have more wine? 439 00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:41,619 I like the way you think. 440 00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:45,101 - Hey. - What? 441 00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:46,711 - Hey. - Where'd you go? 442 00:14:46,755 --> 00:14:48,061 Marina seemed pretty upset. 443 00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:49,627 I just took a little walk. 444 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:51,368 I'm having a pre-panic attack. 445 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:54,023 It's when I start panicking about having a panic attack. 446 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,503 This thing is like disaster, man. 447 00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,244 No, it's not. 448 00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:58,898 Your life is great, dude. 449 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,334 You're still marrying a smoking-hot babe. 450 00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:02,336 You're about to be a best-selling author. 451 00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:04,555 Come on, man, you don't know that. 452 00:15:04,599 --> 00:15:06,253 No, but I believe it. 453 00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:09,909 - You do? - Yeah. 454 00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:12,389 You're my big brother. And Marina believes it too. 455 00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:13,869 Otherwise, she wouldn't be marrying you. 456 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,262 I mean, she could have anyone. 457 00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:18,004 She is like... an absolute smoke show. 458 00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:20,136 Yeah, no, you already said that. 459 00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,529 Like, she's hot enough to be in one 460 00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,226 of those German body wash ads I keep accidentally 461 00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,011 downloading from LimeWire. 462 00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:26,490 - What? - Yeah. 463 00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,405 My computer is messed up. 464 00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:30,364 Maybe you could start slowing down on that. 465 00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:32,235 And you get to smash that for the rest of your life. 466 00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:33,715 - Like, that's sick. - I'm probably gonna leave 467 00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,064 - you hanging on that one. - I get that. I do. 468 00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:36,848 Oh, OK. 469 00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:39,677 Look, man, I know I don't say this a lot, but... 470 00:15:41,636 --> 00:15:42,985 I've always looked up to you. 471 00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:44,856 You just--you know what you want to do, 472 00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:48,034 and you're brave enough to go do it. 473 00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:52,690 And you know what, you're right. 474 00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:55,606 I got to go. 475 00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:59,654 Sarah, you need to hang on to these. 476 00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:01,395 - I didn't catch it. - Sure you did. 477 00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:04,224 And it means that you and Dennis are next. 478 00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:06,661 Why do you want me to get married so bad? 479 00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:08,532 Because I want you to be happy. 480 00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:11,144 You know what, Mom, uh-- 481 00:16:11,187 --> 00:16:14,712 OK, I'm so tired of pretending. 482 00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:17,063 I know exactly what would make me happy, 483 00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:19,021 and it is being with the person that I love. 484 00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:22,111 And she is sitting right out there. 485 00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:25,462 Marina? 486 00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:28,074 - Does Tom know? - No, no, not Marina, Mom. 487 00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:30,467 The bartender. 488 00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:33,731 We dated in college, and it was actually really serious. 489 00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:36,038 Oh. Well, if it was Marina, 490 00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:38,693 your brother would've been crushed. 491 00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:41,696 OK, wait, sorry, so--so you're not 492 00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:44,090 shocked that I'm gay? 493 00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:46,266 Well, I'm a little surprised, given the way 494 00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:48,833 you've been throwing yourself at Dennis all day. 495 00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,226 But then there's the nose ring. 496 00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:53,490 Mom. 497 00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:55,666 - Sarah? - Yep? 498 00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,059 I love you. 499 00:16:57,103 --> 00:17:00,497 And I'm sorry that you didn't feel you 500 00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,760 could talk to me about this. 501 00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:07,026 Mom, thank you for accepting me. 502 00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:11,987 Well, I didn't say I accepted you. 503 00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,295 I just came out to my mom. 504 00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:16,818 You just came out to your mom? 505 00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,080 - Right now? - Yeah. 506 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,430 And I'm supposed to believe that? 507 00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:25,131 ♪ 508 00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:27,089 She finally did it. 509 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:30,049 This is the third time that has happened to me. 510 00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:39,058 OK, so can we just-- just start over? 511 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:41,538 You know, just pretend that I'm some girl 512 00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:42,887 picking you up at a wedding. 513 00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:45,064 Nice to meet you. 514 00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:47,066 Oh, it's so nice to meet you. 515 00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,285 I am Lulu. 516 00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:50,895 - Wait, I was gonna say Lulu. - Are you serious? 517 00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:52,593 - Yes. - Oh, my god. 518 00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:54,595 - Well, it's a sign. - Yeah. 519 00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,336 I guess we'll both just have to be Lulu. 520 00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:58,164 I like that. 521 00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:01,123 - Looks like the bar mitzvah folks are starting to arrive. 522 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:03,517 People are starting to leave. 523 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,475 Mijita, what do you want to do? 524 00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:06,998 I don't know. I--I need to talk to Tom. 525 00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,304 Where is Tom? 526 00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:11,612 We saw him get into a car and drive away. 527 00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:13,527 So he's actually leaving me at the altar? 528 00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,746 I thought he was just having one of his pre-panic attack 529 00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:17,879 - panic attacks. - Ah, mijita. 530 00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,663 Don't worry, I won't tell you I told you so. 531 00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:20,403 - Papa. - Not now. 532 00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:22,362 I'll do it later. 533 00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:25,843 Guys, wait! 534 00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:27,367 I got a priest! We can get married. 535 00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:29,543 Oh, my god! 536 00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:30,587 Oh, I'm so sorry. 537 00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:31,936 How did you do this? 538 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,938 You actually pulled off a miracle! 539 00:18:33,982 --> 00:18:35,288 I'm so sorry. What did you do? 540 00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:37,116 How did you do-- 541 00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:39,161 I drove to the hospital and grabbed the priest giving 542 00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:41,381 last rites to the old priest. 543 00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:44,166 Oh, thank you for being the person I need you to be. 544 00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:45,907 No, no, no, no, we're not married yet. 545 00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,300 OK, people, we got about 10 minutes 546 00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:49,128 until this place becomes the magical planet Pandora, 547 00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,217 and Josh Gerstein becomes a man, all right? 548 00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:52,435 - Let's do this! - OK. 549 00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:54,437 Yeah. 550 00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:55,917 Oh, my foot! 551 00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,532 Come on, let's move. 552 00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:04,143 You still look incredible. 553 00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:05,883 Mm-hmm. You too, yeah, yeah, yeah. 554 00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:07,146 - Dearly beloved-- - No time. 555 00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:08,147 Just--you go. 556 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,670 OK, Tom, I love you. 557 00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:11,106 OK, that's it. Now you go. 558 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,891 OK, uh, Marina, I love you too. 559 00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:16,938 Whatever bumps in the road may come... 560 00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,167 Skip to the end. Go, go, go, go. 561 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,472 - Uh, by the power... - Just go, just go. 562 00:19:29,516 --> 00:19:32,040 Et cetera, I-- I pronounce you--kiss. 563 00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:33,824 Yeah! Hey, we did it. 564 00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:34,521 Wow! 565 00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:37,828 Actually, you know what, Josh Gerstein's 566 00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:38,873 Torah portion can wait. 567 00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:40,657 Come here. 568 00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:48,883 Well, Tom, you did it... 569 00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:50,450 Barely. 570 00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:52,365 I heard you did it too. 571 00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:53,453 I'm proud of you. 572 00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:54,845 Thanks. 573 00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:56,847 Yeah, I mean, if you decided to just live a lie 574 00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:57,848 and stick it out with the homie Dennis, 575 00:19:57,892 --> 00:19:58,849 that would've been fine by me. 576 00:19:58,893 --> 00:20:00,242 Dude was an absolute legend. 577 00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:01,983 But glad you're living your truth or whatever. 578 00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,506 - That's chill, too. - OK, thanks, Conn. 579 00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:05,508 All right, let's get Mom and Dad in there. 580 00:20:05,552 --> 00:20:07,336 Sorry, could we just actually hold on for one second. 581 00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:08,337 Come here. 582 00:20:08,381 --> 00:20:09,904 Oh. 583 00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:12,559 Um, everyone, this is Denise. 584 00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:14,038 - Oh! Hi. - Hello, Denise. 585 00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:15,388 - Hey, Denise. - Hello. 586 00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:17,303 We don't have a lot of experience with this... 587 00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:19,305 sort of thing. 588 00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:22,090 Although my husband did go to an all-boys high school, 589 00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:24,484 and I played a female cop in a student film. 590 00:20:24,527 --> 00:20:26,964 Oh, wow. 591 00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:28,531 - This is a lot. - Yeah, I'm so sorry. 592 00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:30,490 Yeah, you have no idea. 593 00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:33,101 You and I are gonna be the only normal ones around here. 594 00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,711 Now let's stay with the theme of the day. 595 00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,887 Everybody say cheese, backwards. 596 00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:38,802 Ee-- 597 00:20:38,846 --> 00:20:39,803 Esee-- 598 00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:45,244 Well, that's it. That's the whole story. 599 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:48,595 Well, there's 47 minutes of my life 600 00:20:48,638 --> 00:20:49,726 I'll never get back. 601 00:20:54,644 --> 00:20:56,907 So I'm visiting my cousin, Fabian, at the hospital, when 602 00:20:56,951 --> 00:21:00,302 out of nowhere this crazy guy comes running down the hallway 603 00:21:00,346 --> 00:21:01,434 and kidnaps a priest. 604 00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:02,870 Can you describe the man? 605 00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:05,699 So skinny, he was almost paper, like a real life 606 00:21:05,742 --> 00:21:06,830 Flat Stanley. 607 00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:08,092 Did you get a good look at his face? 608 00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:09,529 Hard to say. 609 00:21:09,572 --> 00:21:11,095 The body of an old man with the head of a boy. 610 00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:13,315 He looked like a sculpture of Jack Skellington 611 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:15,012 made out of frozen milk. 612 00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:17,754 He was like a scared fettuccine pasta. 613 00:21:17,798 --> 00:21:19,103 OK, we got it. 614 00:21:19,147 --> 00:21:21,845 He was like if string cheese was a man, 615 00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:23,847 - if that makes sense. - Thank you. 44088

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