Original subtitles

Previously on "Dr. Quinn"...

I believe you have a growth.

A routine exam uncovers a serious illness...

Might be cancer.

...and a patient's fear leads to denial.

This little lump is gonna go away just like all the others.

Sully, what should I do?

Listen to your gut, and take your stand.

Now, the only solution...

You can't take chances with this.

It's serious.

...may be too difficult to bear.

We remove the growth along with your breast.

But whatever the price, it's worth it to save your life.

Maybe not.

Yeah, I know.

Look out there, now!

Um, come on, Colleen. Let's go.

- What? - Um, just turn around.

Come on.

Let's go.

Come on.

Sully.

- Good morning, Robert E. - Good morning.

- Morning. - Sully, could I speak to you?

What do you need?

It's more what I don't need.

I don't need any more help or advice from Michaela.

But she's insistent on it.

You know how she can be.

She can be stubborn.

Well, she means well.

But there's some things

folks have to make their own decisions about.

I agree.

Would you talk to her for me?

And let her know that I appreciate the good intentions,

but I'd rather she leave it be.

I'll talk to her for you.

I haven't even told you what it is.

No need to.

What a pair the two of you make.

You'd go to the ends of the Earth to help a person.

And yet, you're so different from her.

You never push or pry.

You never fight your way into someone's trouble.

She tells me I may have cancer.

She says the only way to be sure

is to do an operation that will...

I'll lose -- I'll lose a part of myself.

And I'm not able to accept that.

Can you understand that?

Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you.

Colleen, what are you doing?

I don't want them.

Colleen!

Tell me what happened.

A boy at school he was making fun of me.

I see.

I'm -- I'm bigger than all the other girls in class.

I feel like a freak.

You're just developing. That's all.

Girls grow at -- at different rates.

Oh, but I hate them.

Well...

all girls don't like something about their appearance.

Did you?

My hair.

Your hair?

But it's so beautiful.

Well, I always thought that -- that it was far too straight.

I would've given anything in the world

to have had ringlets like Sadie Turner.

She was so popular.

Every night, I used to wet my hair

and wrap it around those little thread spools

that I found in my mother's sewing kit.

And I'd sleep like that.

I'd wake up in the morning and go to breakfast.

And Margie would say, "Apparently,

a rat's made a nest in your hair."

But at least you had curls.

Only for about an hour.

By the time I got to school,

it was as straight as a pin again.

I can't imagine you with curly hair.

And I can't imagine you being different from the way you are.

You may feel that you're developing too quickly now,

but girls mature faster than boys.

Not other girls.

It feels like I'm the only one.

Well, those girls will catch up with you and --

and you'll catch up with yourself.

And somehow it'll all even out.

But the boys...

They don't even look in my eyes anymore.

They look one place.

They don't see me.

They don't see who I am.

Well...

Well, boys go through a stage where --

well, where they're fascinated

by certain things about a young lady.

Do they ever get back to liking all of you?

Most of them.

But it's up to you to let them see you as a whole person,

as a mind and as a spirit.

I thought that new boy, Jared,

was interested in my mind.

But I sure was wrong.

Did -- did he do something inappropriate?

He tried.

- Colleen! - Don't worry. I stopped him.

Well, that's not the point.

Well, I, uh, I'm gonna talk to the reverend and --

and to the boy's mother and...

No, please.

Colleen, we can't just leave this.

Please, you'll only make it worse.

Well, something's got to be done.

Then let me do it.

Well, well, well.

Rise and shine.

You wasn't trying to get away from us, was you?

Good.

'Cause I --

I brung you a little present from my ride into Manitou.

See there?

A bottle.

It's -- it's very nice.

Well, it ain't just a bottle.

It's lilac water.

I know it can get kind of rough out here on the trail.

And I figured you been finding it kind of hard

to feel, well, feminine.

So I thought maybe a little dash 'hind your ear

might perk you up a little bit.

Mmm.

Much better.

Thank you.

Come on over here and take a whiff, little brother.

Mmm.

'Hind her ear. Take a whiff.

Smells real nice.

Don't it, though?

You know, I didn't want to say nothing.

But you was getting a little ripe there.

And I believe you was right for once.

It was a good idea keeping her with us.

Fact, I believe she might come in handy.

- What for? - Well, cooking, for one.

I got me a hankering for some bacon and biscuits.

Yes, sir.

You think you could fry us up some breakfast?

I --I could try.

What do you mean, you could try?

I...d-don't really cook.

You don't cook?

Now, what kind of woman don't cook?

Carl, I --I'll fry us up some of that bacon.

Well, all right.

I been meaning to show you.

I got this nasty rip in my pants.

Maybe you could sew it for me.

I, uh, don't sew.

You can't cook.

You can't sew.

No wonder you ain't got a husband.

Hell, woman, what can you do?

I can cut hair.

You didn't tell me it was Dorothy.

How did you find out?

She told me.

Would that have made a difference to you

in your advice to me?

Yes. Dorothy is your friend.

So I shouldn't recommend an operation

because I know the person?

You told me to take a stand, and I did.

You take a stand. You give her a choice.

And after she chooses, then you stop being the doctor.

She's very possibly choosing death, Sully.

- Do you understand that? - It's still her choice.

Do you think this is easy for me?

Do you think I want to talk to my best friend

like she's a stranger?

I would love to tell her that everything's gonna be all right.

But I can't afford that luxury.

Someone has got to give her the bad news.

Someone has got to fight this thing with her.

Dorothy doesn't want to fight.

She's made peace with it.

Well, I don't want her to make peace with it.

I want her to live.

Dorothy, have you thought about our conversation?

I have.

My answer is no.

Then there's a good chance you may die.

If my time comes, then I'm ready.

I'm not afraid.

My answer's no.

- I can't accept that. - Michaela, I said no.

Dorothy?

Dorothy?

Dorothy?

Loren.

It's the middle of the night.

I've made a decision, Dorothy.

I'm putting the store up for sale.

What?

First thing in the morning,

I'm gonna wire that fellow from the railroad

that wanted it before.

And I'm taking his best offer.

What made you decide such a thing?

I want to take you away.

I want to take that money

and get on a train, just you and me,

and ride it all the way to New York City.

I want to bring you in to one of them fancy stores

you always read about in them magazines of yours,

buy you the prettiest, most expensive dress they got,

some of them high heel shoes, and a hat to match.

I want to get in a carriage

and let it bring us right to the doorstep

of the New York Times

so you can see the biggest newspaper in the world.

Oh, Loren.

Now, don't you dare argue with me.

I wish I could go.

But I can't.

Please.

It don't have to be New York.

You just tell me what you want.

Anything.

I can't go on living

like I only got a little bit of time left.

I got to live like I got all the time in the world.

I don't want to do anything special.

I just want to do the things I always do.

Just let whatever comes, come.

It's the only way I know how to do this.

Now, you go on back to bed and get some sleep.

I thought you might be a bit thirsty.

I want to apologize for my brother.

I hope he didn't scare you none.

He ain't such a bad fella.

Hell, at least he didn't used to be.

See, all this just started out for fun.

We did a few little jobs.

We made some easy money.

And I just went along with it 'cause he's my big brother.

He's always smarter than me.

I figured he knew what he was doing.

But then he started wanting to rob more and more

and taking big chances.

Now he's talking about killing folk.

I don't want to kill nobody.

He keeps saying we got to stick together

'cause we're the only family we got.

But if he starts killing, I can't stick with him.

Today might be raining.

But tomorrow, the sun's gonna shine.

You go on. You get out of here.

Go on.

Go on. You're a nice lady.

I don't want nothing bad to happen to you.

Now go on.

You going home

or planning on spending the night here?

I don't know what I'm doing.

I sit here, surrounded by my books,

medicines, instruments...

all the things that matter to me,

everything that I am.

Sometimes I just --

I just want to walk away from it all.

You're right, Sully.

I just want to be Michaela, Dorothy's friend.

I want to cry with her and...

tell her how terrible this is.

I want to hold her hand,

and I -- and I want to help her through this.

You can still do that.

No, I cant. I've got to stay here.

I've got to find an answer.

Michaela.

Dorothy, you coming to the Sunday picnic?

No -- no, I think I'll just stay here and do some writing.

Go on without me.

You'll be missed.

Hoo-hoo!

Where you going?

Be right back.

I want to talk to you.

'Bout what?

Come on.

What do you want?

I want you to look at me.

What?

Look at me.

Look at me.

What's the matter with you? Are you crazy?

I'm not crazy.

I'm smart and nice and funny.

And I love school and learning.

And I have two great brothers and the best Ma around.

And I dream about being a doctor someday.

But you'll never know all that.

Not the way you're going.

And that's all right

'cause if you don't care about those things...

then I can do without you.

Only, it makes me sad

'cause I thought you were nice.

I liked you.

I wanted to be friends.

Wait.

I do want to be friends.

Maybe when you grow up.

Please?

Then we got to start over.

Colleen Cooper.

Jared McAllister.

Bring that cousin.

Good morning, Dorothy.

Glad you could join us this fine day.

Ain't that sky just beautiful?

Yes.

It is beautiful.

Dorothy?

Dorothy.

You got to try some of my cider.

I never had apples so sweet.

Here, taste.

Isn't that the best cider you ever had in your life?

I believe it is, Grace.

Looking mighty nice today, Miss Dorothy.

And your red hair's shining real pretty in the sun.

Thank you, Robert E.

Hey, Miss Dorothy, look what I found.

Acorns.

Sully says if I plant one,

it'll grow to be as big as that oak.

Oh, none of us will live to see it get that big, Brian.

That oak's 100 years old.

Oh.

Miss Dorothy says there's no use in planting it.

She says none of us will get to see it grow that big.

Oh, but Brian, you must plant it

because by next year, it'll --

it'll have grown up to your knees and --

and a year after that, it'll be taller than you.

And then when it's time to go courting,

you can take your young lady for a picnic under it.

And then, when you have children, they can --

they can build a treehouse in it.

And then someday, you can tell your grandchildren

how you planted it.

And when that tree gets to be 100,

it doesn't matter that you're not here to see it.

All that matters is today.

Today you held 100 years in your hand.

Sully, will you help me?

- You got something to dig with? - This stick.

You got a spot picked out?

I thought maybe over by the creek.

Dorothy, I have to tell you something.

I want you to know that I'm your friend first.

And whatever your decision is, I'll respect it.

I was only pushing you because...

Well, perhaps it's selfish of me, but...

I love you, Dorothy, and I just --

I don't want to lose you.

Michaela, does time figure into this operation?

There's reason to believe that every minute counts.

Then let's do it now.

- Now? - Yes.

Now.

I'm worried about Miss Dorothy.

Oh, Brian, she's gonna be just fine.

Ma said she was really scared of the operation.

I don't know. I don't think it's the operation.

I think, uh, she trusts Dr. Mike.

Then what is it?

I think she's afraid she won't be pretty anymore.

I think she's the prettiest lady in town

next to Ma.

You be sure you tell her that.

Loren.

I love that woman.

Always have.

I'd always find her as beautiful as...

the first day I saw her.

She needs to know that.

She will. She'll see it in your eyes.

Loren?

If you would like to come sit with her...

Ma'am.

Thank you for being here today, Colleen.

It was difficult, what I had to do.

And it helped me to have you by my side.

I know it must have been very difficult for you, too.

It ain't that.

It's just that I feel so selfish.

Here I've been going on all week about my problem,

and look what Miss Dorothy had to go through.

You don't have to compare yourself to Dorothy.

You don't have to compare yourself to anyone.

You feel what you feel, and --

and that's never wrong or insignificant.

I can't help it.

I just wish I could do something for her.

Well, you can.

Just be there.

It means more than anything.

Mm.

Mm.

Oh.

Loren.

I'm here.

Oh.

- Jake. - What's going on?

Miss Dorothy had an operation.

What kind of operation?

Some kind of tumor.

Dr. Mike had to take it out.

Dorothy.

She's resting, Jake.

Don't mind.

I -- I didn't know.

I didn't know you had an operation.

How could you?

You weren't anywhere around.

I know what you must be thinking.

That you've been passed out drunk somewhere?

Why would I think that?

Just 'cause the whole town does?

I guess they got a right to. I did it before.

Not to me.

I didn't do it to you, Dorothy.

If that's what the whole town thinks, let them think it.

I want you to know the truth.

I was --

I was kidnapped by outlaws.

Well, at least that's original.

No, no, no, no.

I really was.

By those fellows that robbed the saloon.

I know it sounds crazy.

You don't have to believe me.

But I come here to tell you...

I'm sorry, Dorothy.

I'm sorry I wasn't around when you needed me.

Do you know what happened to me?

Just...you had a tumor

and -- and Dr. Mike had to take it out.

The tumor was in my breast.

It couldn't be saved.

Dorothy...

Does that make you feel different about me, Jake?

Of course not.

You're gonna look just fine.

I told Michaela I wasn't afraid to die.

But I was.

I am.

I'm so afraid.

Today might be raining.

But tomorrow, the sun's gonna shine.

Jake!

Where the hell you been the last three days?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

It's terrible what happened to Dorothy.

Well, she's alive.

That's all that matters.

She's not...herself.

She's, you know...

No, I don't know.

She's...

She ain't normal no more.

Come on, Loren. Don't tell me you don't think about it.

It's just gonna take some getting used to.

Well, I don't know if I can ever get used to it.

I keep thinking about it.

You didn't say that to her?

Of course I didn't.

What did you say?

I told her she'd look just fine.

Then you're a liar.

I wanted to spare her.

You wanted to spare yourself.

Was I supposed to hurt her feelings?

I mean, what should I have said?

Eh, it don't even matter what you said.

It's that you didn't mean it.

You ought to let her be.

You ought to quit courting her.

Well, maybe I ain't ready to quit courting her.

She needs to know she can't count on you.

I want her to be able to count on me.

I just...

Want ain't good enough.

She deserves better.

Fine.

You go tell her.

Go on, Loren. Tell her what a phony I am.

Then you can have her all to yourself.

Maybe I will.

Dorothy.

Did you -- did you see Jake downstairs?

Yes, I did.

What'd he say?

Did he say anything?

He said...

He said...you look beautiful.

- Did he really say that? - Oh, yes.

That's what he said.

- Hey, barber. - I'm closed.

Oh, that's all right.

I -- I'm looking for someone, a woman.

Her name is Jane.

She's kind of tall.

Curly, little ringlets.

Mmm. And smells like lilacs.

I don't know any Janes.

Hmm.

Well, somebody will.

I'll find her.

Sorry to trouble you.

You look familiar.

I don't know you, Mister.

No, you definitely look familiar.

That's funny,

'cause I was just thinking he looked familiar.

Wait a minute.

Uh, he's a friend of mine from Soda Springs.

That's who he is, Hank.

And you probably saw him

having a drink with me at the saloon.

In fact, uh, I was about to give him a shave.

Got to come back later.

I don't know why you done that, mister.

But I believe I'll take you up on that shave.

I don't often gussy up for a lady,

but this one she's worth it.

Miss Dorothy?

Oh, Colleen.

I didn't want to disturb you.

Oh, it's all right.

I brought you these.

Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.

Thank you.

They're so pretty.

If there's anything you need, anything at all,

you just let me know

'cause there's nothing I wouldn't do for you,

Miss Dorothy.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

I truly do.

Time to change her bandages.

You know, you can close your eyes or --

or you can just turn away.

No, I want to look.

I want to see myself.

I need to see myself.

Dorothy, I must advise against this.

Michaela.

Perhaps in a few weeks when you've healed more.

Everyone's been reassuring me that I look just fine to them.

When it comes right down to it,

there's just one person who needs to believe it -- me.

Now, I'd like a mirror and some privacy.

As your doctor, I'll respect your wishes.

But as your friend, I won't leave you alone.

I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes.

I'll always love you no matter what happens.

I'll always find you as beautiful

as I did the first day I saw you.