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1
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www.tvsubtitles.net
2
00:00:04,488 --> 00:00:06,753
And the guy I'm supposed
to have a meeting with is in 2-I,
3
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:07,956
so I say to the doorman, "Excuse me,
4
00:00:08,077 --> 00:00:10,671
is there a 2-I in this building ?
I'm looking for 2-I.
5
00:00:10,792 --> 00:00:14,479
He's ignoring me. I must have
said "2-I" like 15 times.
6
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,884
The guy finally puts down his
newspaper, looks right at me,
7
00:00:18,245 --> 00:00:19,898
and he only has one eye.
8
00:00:21,603 --> 00:00:23,400
You lie. That did not happen.
9
00:00:23,521 --> 00:00:27,281
Swear to God he only had
one functioning eye,
10
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:30,070
and the other one was
like a mini glazed doughnut
11
00:00:31,226 --> 00:00:32,870
a sort of congealed...
12
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:36,230
Paging new subject. New subject
to the white courtesy telephone !
13
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:40,124
So how's the Island ? Do you just
run around naked all day
14
00:00:40,245 --> 00:00:42,414
in war paint chasing things
with a pointy stick ?
15
00:00:42,535 --> 00:00:43,853
Grace...
16
00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:48,717
It's the Virgin Islands.
It's not Fire Island.
17
00:00:49,445 --> 00:00:50,525
But yes.
18
00:00:51,538 --> 00:00:54,970
Sweetie ? I'm still holding
the elevator. Are you coming ?
19
00:00:55,941 --> 00:00:57,725
Oh, I'm...I'm talking to Will.
20
00:00:57,846 --> 00:00:59,360
I'll meet you there. Just
order me what you're having.
21
00:00:59,481 --> 00:01:00,947
Tofu scrambled on a bed of spinach ?
22
00:01:01,068 --> 00:01:02,027
Yeah. Oh !
23
00:01:02,148 --> 00:01:05,680
But, um, uh, instead of the spinach,
I'll have chocolate chip pancakes.
24
00:01:05,801 --> 00:01:09,300
Oh, hey, oh, oh ! Oh !
And eighty-six the tofu scrambled.
25
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,354
Thanks, sweetie. You're the best.
26
00:01:13,138 --> 00:01:15,966
Ok, the thing with Josh
is getting very messy.
27
00:01:16,087 --> 00:01:19,355
What's the problem ? Last time we talked,
you and Josh were clicking along.
28
00:01:19,476 --> 00:01:21,410
Yeah, but Ben and
are clicking along, too,
29
00:01:21,531 --> 00:01:24,504
and it's getting harder and harder
to click two guys at the same time.
30
00:01:25,187 --> 00:01:26,508
I thought this was the new you.
31
00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:29,619
I thought you were making up
for the "head gear years."
32
00:01:30,201 --> 00:01:32,916
This whole thing has just
gotten way too complicated.
33
00:01:33,037 --> 00:01:36,443
I mean, the other night in bed,
I called Josh "Ben."
34
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,446
to cover it, I stretched it out into
35
00:01:39,650 --> 00:01:42,645
bennn...d over...and...
36
00:01:45,469 --> 00:01:47,079
I ended up doing something
37
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,361
I really never wanna do again.
38
00:01:51,921 --> 00:01:53,836
Good thing Ben's name isn't Pee-Wee.
39
00:01:54,754 --> 00:01:56,615
Wilma ! Get your ass
in the steam room asap.
40
00:01:56,736 --> 00:01:58,615
Stan has some legal questions.
41
00:01:58,736 --> 00:02:00,657
Oh, and he's wearing the shorty robe,
42
00:02:00,778 --> 00:02:03,567
so if I were you, I'd pick a point
on the wall and focus on it.
43
00:02:07,881 --> 00:02:11,432
Grace, I'm sorry. I'm wanted in
yet another nude business meeting.
44
00:02:11,553 --> 00:02:14,107
No ! You do this to me
every time we talk.
45
00:02:14,228 --> 00:02:15,887
Grace, I would much rather
talk to you
46
00:02:16,008 --> 00:02:18,722
than avert my eyes
while Stan re-adjusts his...
47
00:02:18,843 --> 00:02:19,829
soft currency,
48
00:02:19,950 --> 00:02:21,124
but I gotta go !
49
00:02:22,265 --> 00:02:24,663
- Wilma, shift it !
- Honey, I'm sorry.
50
00:02:25,131 --> 00:02:26,200
Damn it !
51
00:02:27,924 --> 00:02:29,916
Thanks. You can just put it on my tab.
52
00:02:30,037 --> 00:02:32,159
And you know what ? Go ahead
and give yourself a big, fat tip.
53
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,079
Thank you, Mr., Uh...
54
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,808
Truman. Will Truman.
55
00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:40,536
That's my name... Will Truman
56
00:02:40,705 --> 00:02:41,719
Hey, Jack.
57
00:02:42,305 --> 00:02:43,800
But you can call me Jack.
58
00:02:45,143 --> 00:02:46,936
My friends call me Jack.
59
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,200
You wanna be my friend ?
60
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,418
Thanks a lot, Grace.
Thank you very much !
61
00:02:54,539 --> 00:02:56,883
That was the man I was gonna
spend the rest of my life with.
62
00:02:57,004 --> 00:03:00,150
We we gonna get married in Vermont
and adopt Himalayan whistle kids.
63
00:03:01,950 --> 00:03:03,566
But thanks to you,
I'll be alone until...
64
00:03:03,687 --> 00:03:05,523
Until the pizza boy delivers.
65
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,340
And, boy, does he ever !
66
00:03:10,589 --> 00:03:12,200
Thanks for the remind.
67
00:03:13,350 --> 00:03:15,141
- See you later.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
68
00:03:15,713 --> 00:03:19,300
What's going on with you ? I haven't
seen you around the old spa lately.
69
00:03:19,458 --> 00:03:22,291
Jack, just because you lie around there
naked doesn't make it a spa.
70
00:03:22,412 --> 00:03:24,100
It's a laundry room.
71
00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:29,827
What's with the mood and the 'tude ?
72
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:31,562
Nothing. It's just...
73
00:03:32,683 --> 00:03:35,000
It's...it's...it's really not your area.
74
00:03:35,310 --> 00:03:38,100
Whaddaya talk ? Everything's my area.
75
00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:41,698
Unless it's about your lady parts,
'cause that's more Will's area.
76
00:03:42,462 --> 00:03:43,927
Come on...
77
00:03:45,546 --> 00:03:48,748
Well, I've... Have you ever dated
two guys at the same time ?
78
00:03:48,887 --> 00:03:50,042
Forgive me.
79
00:03:52,468 --> 00:03:54,939
It's just that I've been juggling
Ben and Josh for a couple of months now,
80
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,657
and I think I need to make a decision.
81
00:03:56,778 --> 00:04:00,553
Boy trouble ?
Now you're talkin' Jackanese !
82
00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:04,553
Come on. We'll have a steak.
You'll pour your heart out.
83
00:04:04,674 --> 00:04:06,417
And to top it off, we'll rent a movie.
84
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,011
You're into gay porn, right ?
85
00:04:08,132 --> 00:04:09,207
Who isn't ?
86
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,800
Will & Grace
Saison 3 - Episode 1
87
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:14,900
New Will City
88
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,280
sous-titres par la Team W&G
~seriessub.com~
89
00:04:21,532 --> 00:04:23,131
I don't understand
what's taking so long
90
00:04:23,252 --> 00:04:25,229
to set up one lousy offshore
multinational holding company.
91
00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:27,895
My husband and I want
off this damn Island already.
92
00:04:28,016 --> 00:04:29,286
It's hot, it's muggy.
93
00:04:29,407 --> 00:04:31,407
There's nature everywhere you look.
94
00:04:31,815 --> 00:04:32,895
It's hot.
95
00:04:33,202 --> 00:04:35,659
So stop stringing those puka shells
and get us up and running.
96
00:04:35,780 --> 00:04:38,517
Yoy know, there are thousands
of children in the third world
97
00:04:38,638 --> 00:04:41,661
who rely on the 11 cents an hour
my husband pays them.
98
00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:46,249
Do you really want that on your
conscience ? Huh ? Do you ?
99
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,610
Damn it, Stanley !
Not in front of the help !
100
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:54,237
I want this whole thing squared away
within the next week. Is that understood ?
101
00:04:54,485 --> 00:04:57,680
Oh, and, uh... Get rid of those
ridiculous strappy sandals
102
00:04:57,801 --> 00:04:58,679
you've been running around in.
103
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,093
You're not Jennifer Lopez,
for God's sake !
104
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:06,109
- And another thing, I...
- Oh, shut up.
105
00:05:06,230 --> 00:05:07,013
What ?
106
00:05:07,134 --> 00:05:08,990
Shut up !
107
00:05:09,126 --> 00:05:11,999
For 3 months, I've been
putting up with your yelling,
108
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:16,060
your ranting, your barking drink orders
at me... I'm not gonna do it anymore !
109
00:05:16,238 --> 00:05:17,902
I'm sick of this Island.
110
00:05:18,023 --> 00:05:20,726
I'm sick of having more sand
in my ass than Libya.
111
00:05:22,275 --> 00:05:24,099
But mostly, I am sick of you.
112
00:05:24,317 --> 00:05:26,862
Bu... Cl... Wha... !
113
00:05:27,664 --> 00:05:30,569
I must have been out of my mind
to take this gig in the first place.
114
00:05:30,709 --> 00:05:33,679
Karen, I will see you back home
where I'm actually needed.
115
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,399
Hey, you walk outta here and you
can say goodbye to makin' partner !
116
00:05:36,593 --> 00:05:38,562
Stanley, I'm sorry this
didn't work out, but...
117
00:05:38,683 --> 00:05:39,877
good luck and...
118
00:05:40,561 --> 00:05:42,927
Damn, man ! Pull down that robe !
119
00:05:46,330 --> 00:05:50,540
Ok, now, remember, let each gesture
tell a little story the way she does,
120
00:05:50,661 --> 00:05:52,302
- Ok ?
- I'll never be like her.
121
00:05:52,423 --> 00:05:55,608
Well, of course not. She's one
of the great artists of all time.
122
00:05:55,729 --> 00:05:58,668
But we're not gonna honor her by
quitting, ok ? Now, come on, let's go again.
123
00:05:58,789 --> 00:06:01,249
5, 6, 7, 8...
124
00:06:01,381 --> 00:06:07,034
Oops ! I did it again
I played with your heart
125
00:06:07,155 --> 00:06:10,710
got lost in the game
oh, baby, baby.
126
00:06:10,831 --> 00:06:12,822
Yes, that's totally it !
127
00:06:14,692 --> 00:06:17,378
I actually feel the spirit
of Britney in the room.
128
00:06:17,641 --> 00:06:21,218
And you... Are not... that... innocent.
129
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:26,989
Oh, gosh. Ok. I gotta go.
I gotta go see Ben.
130
00:06:27,164 --> 00:06:30,394
And by the way, thank you so
much for that advice. You were so right.
131
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,289
Ben is the one for me.
132
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:34,989
Will !
133
00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:36,346
- Hey !
- Hi !
134
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:37,572
Hi ! What are you doing here ?
135
00:06:37,693 --> 00:06:39,419
I came home. I'm here.
136
00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:42,328
Where's the love ? I just flew coach !
I need some love !
137
00:06:42,818 --> 00:06:46,780
Oh, my god ! Look who's back ! Yay !
You look so tan and gorgeous !
138
00:06:46,901 --> 00:06:49,000
Missed you. Hey, lady !
139
00:06:52,053 --> 00:06:53,077
You're back ?
140
00:06:53,307 --> 00:06:56,029
Don't worry. You can still
stay in the guest room, Kato.
141
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:59,662
Yay ! You're back ! Yay !
You're so tan and gorgeous !
142
00:07:00,723 --> 00:07:02,094
Thank you.
143
00:07:03,249 --> 00:07:05,275
- Oh, my god ! You're thin !
- Huh ?
144
00:07:05,396 --> 00:07:06,927
You've had something done.
145
00:07:07,217 --> 00:07:09,781
Ho ! You've been sucked and tucked !
146
00:07:10,886 --> 00:07:13,187
No, seriously,
where did all your fat go ?
147
00:07:13,473 --> 00:07:14,768
Oh, there it is.
148
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:20,792
Well, listen, kids, I'm gonna
skedooch so you two can make love.
149
00:07:20,957 --> 00:07:23,430
FYI, I missed you.
Don't make a big deal out of it.
150
00:07:23,551 --> 00:07:25,804
Just be happy a celebrity
is talking to you.
151
00:07:26,762 --> 00:07:28,126
I'll call you later, ok ?
152
00:07:28,247 --> 00:07:30,621
Kiss it. Kiss it. Spank it.
153
00:07:35,302 --> 00:07:36,917
Peace out.
154
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,511
What... What was that ?
155
00:07:40,632 --> 00:07:43,331
Oh, oh, that's just a...
just a thing that we do.
156
00:07:43,452 --> 00:07:44,774
Hi ! Hi ! Hi !
157
00:07:44,895 --> 00:07:46,309
Come, come, come ! Sit !
158
00:07:46,430 --> 00:07:48,399
Tell me, tell me !
What are you doing back here ?
159
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,880
Oh, the Island, it was awful.
160
00:07:51,001 --> 00:07:53,166
And by awful, I mean Karen.
161
00:07:53,287 --> 00:07:55,605
I...I... And I missed you.
162
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,932
I just felt like every time we
talked, I wasn't there for you.
163
00:07:58,053 --> 00:08:00,876
But I've had plenty of time to
consider your latest problem,
164
00:08:00,997 --> 00:08:02,112
and I think I have the fix.
165
00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:03,247
What problem ?
166
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,868
You know, your "torn between two lovers,
feeling like a fool" thing.
167
00:08:08,131 --> 00:08:09,305
Oh ! Oh, right.
168
00:08:09,426 --> 00:08:12,879
Now, you know I love Ben, but I think
in this case you should go with Josh.
169
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:17,751
I mean, yes, he's a little crunchy
and groovy. But he adores you, and...
170
00:08:18,075 --> 00:08:19,446
That's what counts, right ?
171
00:08:20,923 --> 00:08:23,496
Right. So there's the verdict.
Josh is the one you should be with.
172
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,864
I am so glad you're back !
173
00:08:27,986 --> 00:08:29,988
And I hate to do this,
but I have to go.
174
00:08:30,109 --> 00:08:33,040
I've got a brunch, and
175
00:08:33,161 --> 00:08:37,529
I...I'd move it till later, but
then it would be... lunch.
176
00:08:38,099 --> 00:08:40,615
Yeah. Ok, well.. We'll talk
about it later. And, uh...
177
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:42,189
Peace out.
178
00:08:42,943 --> 00:08:43,967
Yeah.
179
00:08:49,985 --> 00:08:52,050
I always feel nervous at customs lines.
180
00:08:52,171 --> 00:08:54,964
Even if I haven't done anything wrong,
I still feel guilty. I don't know why.
181
00:08:55,085 --> 00:08:58,600
Don't worry, honey. Wayne
there's my friend. We go way back.
182
00:08:59,515 --> 00:09:02,061
Friend Wayne ! Where you going ?
183
00:09:02,182 --> 00:09:03,339
Uh...Wayne !
184
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,394
Wayne ! Don't go away !
185
00:09:08,755 --> 00:09:10,323
Where'd my Waynie just go ?
186
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,898
Um...I shouldn't be telling you this,
he's being fired
187
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,476
for accepting bribes.
188
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:16,684
Apparently he was letting people
smuggle all kinds of stuff in the country...
189
00:09:16,805 --> 00:09:19,299
emeralds, ivory,
illegal prescription drugs.
190
00:09:20,991 --> 00:09:22,981
What people will do !
191
00:09:24,786 --> 00:09:28,335
Honey. Uh...say,
is this your 100 ?
192
00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:30,707
No.
193
00:09:31,430 --> 00:09:32,820
Must be mine.
194
00:09:33,109 --> 00:09:35,679
Why don't you go ahead of me ?
You look like you've had a hard life.
195
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,100
Oh... thanks !
196
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:39,659
I've got to tell you...
I find these toilets
197
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,870
that flush themselves
very threatening.
198
00:09:42,384 --> 00:09:43,279
That's nice, honey.
199
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,044
Listen, I've gotta pop over
to the duty free
200
00:09:45,165 --> 00:09:46,634
and pick up a carton
of cigs for the kids.
201
00:09:46,755 --> 00:09:48,259
Would you be a peach
and carry my bag ?
202
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:50,048
- Oh, sure.
- Oh. Ok.
203
00:09:56,002 --> 00:10:00,237
- I mean, Josh is really...
- Grace, we've been through this already.
204
00:10:00,358 --> 00:10:02,936
I'm telling you, Ben is
the one you should be with.
205
00:10:03,057 --> 00:10:05,231
Right, right. Of course.
206
00:10:05,455 --> 00:10:10,210
Besides, there's something about Josh...
I don't... I can't put my finger on it.
207
00:10:10,331 --> 00:10:13,279
But Will thinks I should dump Ben.
208
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,017
Why are you even listening to him ?
209
00:10:15,138 --> 00:10:18,292
I mean, Will's not thinking
straight. Ha ha.
210
00:10:20,248 --> 00:10:24,088
You cannot have that much fat
sucked out and function normally.
211
00:10:27,158 --> 00:10:29,477
I'm telling you, Ben is the way to go.
212
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:33,284
You know what ? I think you're right.
It feels right.
213
00:10:33,711 --> 00:10:35,730
You are so good at this.
214
00:10:36,226 --> 00:10:39,400
Who's my good boy ? Who's my good boy ?
215
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,977
So, what are you reading ?
216
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:56,514
Ooh, he's cute.
217
00:10:57,342 --> 00:10:59,981
"Texas to execute another inmate."
218
00:11:02,179 --> 00:11:04,400
I do love them bad boys.
219
00:11:05,451 --> 00:11:09,019
Well, you can read it later when
I line your cage with it.
220
00:11:10,454 --> 00:11:14,275
Ooh. Barracuda. What
crawled up your culottes ?
221
00:11:15,783 --> 00:11:18,018
Nothing crawled up my culottes.
222
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,886
It's just that you're
two inches from my ear
223
00:11:20,007 --> 00:11:21,893
polluting my brain with
your inane ramblings
224
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:24,970
and buzzing through those chips
like some queer gopher.
225
00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:28,769
All right, I get it. I get it.
226
00:11:28,890 --> 00:11:30,120
It's the surgery.
227
00:11:30,704 --> 00:11:33,617
You know, Grace told me her mom
was a little testy, too, after her first...
228
00:11:33,738 --> 00:11:36,277
No, no, no. I'm not testy.
229
00:11:36,398 --> 00:11:39,311
What are you talking about ?
Bobbi Adler never had a face-lift.
230
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,700
Uh, yes, she did. Grace told me.
231
00:11:42,408 --> 00:11:44,260
She told you her mom had a face-lift ?
232
00:11:44,381 --> 00:11:45,394
Yeah.
233
00:11:46,185 --> 00:11:47,687
You didn't know that ?
234
00:11:48,474 --> 00:11:50,092
Of course I knew that.
235
00:11:50,213 --> 00:11:54,100
I just didn't think it was
something that she would tell you.
236
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:59,600
If you knew that, then why did
you just say you didn't ?
237
00:12:01,190 --> 00:12:02,478
You know what ? Forget it.
238
00:12:02,599 --> 00:12:05,321
Just take your crayons and go
practice your lower-case letters.
239
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,460
Hey, don't go ridin' around
on your huffy bike
240
00:12:10,581 --> 00:12:12,310
just because Grace tells me
things she doesn't tell you.
241
00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:13,939
Grace doesn't tell you anything.
242
00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:16,779
Ah...Sure, she does. Yeah.
243
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:19,199
We spent a lot of time together
while you were away, mister !
244
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,636
I bet you I know more about
Grace than you do.
245
00:12:21,903 --> 00:12:24,011
I am not gonna play
that game with you.
246
00:12:24,385 --> 00:12:25,972
What's her middle name ?
247
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:28,386
That's easy. It's...
248
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:30,504
I'm sorry. It's what ?
249
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,058
It's...ja..sam.
250
00:12:33,996 --> 00:12:35,234
Did you say julia ?
251
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:36,381
Ah, yes, I did.
252
00:12:36,502 --> 00:12:38,103
Well, it's not. It's Elizabeth.
253
00:12:39,612 --> 00:12:41,722
Because her mother loves
Elizabeth Taylor.
254
00:12:41,843 --> 00:12:44,056
Well, whoop-de-damn-doo !
255
00:12:44,879 --> 00:12:46,279
Doesn't say anything
about who she is.
256
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,334
- What was her saddest childhood moment ?
- I don't know.
257
00:12:49,455 --> 00:12:51,638
When she discovered
that hamsters can't fly.
258
00:12:54,592 --> 00:12:56,078
What was her nickname in junior high ?
259
00:12:56,199 --> 00:12:58,051
- I don't know.
- Gross Adler.
260
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,167
What was her first method
of birth control ?
261
00:13:01,288 --> 00:13:03,082
- I don't know.
- Prayer.
262
00:13:06,461 --> 00:13:09,073
- What does she want name her first daughter ?
- Ha ! It's..
263
00:13:10,297 --> 00:13:11,330
I don't know.
264
00:13:11,650 --> 00:13:12,604
Lilly !
265
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:13,894
Ha ha... !
266
00:13:16,764 --> 00:13:19,229
Spelled with 2 Ls
but still pronounced Lily.
267
00:13:19,350 --> 00:13:20,300
- Lilly.
- Yes !
268
00:13:20,421 --> 00:13:22,630
It's her great-grandmother's name,
it's her favorite flower,
269
00:13:22,751 --> 00:13:24,600
and we planted a whole box
of them outside her bedroom window
270
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,146
while you were away having
three of your chins sucked out !
271
00:13:27,608 --> 00:13:28,962
But you didn't know that, did you ?
272
00:13:29,083 --> 00:13:31,148
Ll-ll-ll-ll ! Pfft !
273
00:13:35,346 --> 00:13:37,262
This is stupid. Get away from me !
274
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,946
Aww ! So sad ! So pathétique.
275
00:13:41,252 --> 00:13:42,963
Poor Will just found himself
à pied de terre
276
00:13:43,084 --> 00:13:44,792
on la rue de la pathétique.
277
00:13:47,242 --> 00:13:50,763
Your mother took the straps off
your bed about 20 years too early.
278
00:13:54,025 --> 00:13:54,981
How was it ?
279
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:57,099
Oh, it was ok. It was mostly business.
280
00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:59,962
Stan gave me a monkey, though.
Heh heh. Sweet little thing.
281
00:14:00,083 --> 00:14:01,473
Bit of a biter.
282
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,729
Gave Rosario a nasty little ass hickey !
283
00:14:04,850 --> 00:14:08,279
Ha ha ha ha !...
Oh ! Ooh ! Ooh !
284
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,273
You ok ?
285
00:14:09,394 --> 00:14:11,549
Uh...yeah. Ever since I've been back,
286
00:14:11,670 --> 00:14:13,996
I've been getting these shooting pains.
287
00:14:14,117 --> 00:14:16,633
Well, have you done anything
unusual since you've gotten home ?
288
00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:18,815
Eaten ? Loved ? Worked ?
289
00:14:20,237 --> 00:14:21,479
Well, let me see.
290
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,395
We landed. We got our bags.
291
00:14:23,516 --> 00:14:26,958
Rosario took the fall for
some black pearls I was smuggling.
292
00:14:27,597 --> 00:14:30,751
I went home, greeted the kids
warmly over the intercom...
293
00:14:34,064 --> 00:14:36,280
No. Nothing out of the ordinary.
294
00:14:36,401 --> 00:14:37,917
Rosario was arrested ?
295
00:14:38,038 --> 00:14:41,580
Yeah. She's in a holding cell
in Queens ! Ha ha ha ha...
296
00:14:41,701 --> 00:14:43,200
Oh-oh-oh ! Ooh ! Ooh !
297
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:45,299
Wait ! Wait, wait. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
298
00:14:45,613 --> 00:14:49,143
Because of something you did,
Rosario was arrested ?
299
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:51,893
Honey, who gives a crap about
my maid ? My tummy hurts !
300
00:14:52,823 --> 00:14:56,094
Have you noticed that every time
I mention her name you grab your stomach ?
301
00:14:56,215 --> 00:14:57,644
What ? Whose name ?
302
00:14:57,765 --> 00:14:58,480
- Rosario.
- Ooh !
303
00:14:58,601 --> 00:14:59,201
- Rosario.
- Ooh !
304
00:14:59,305 --> 00:15:00,384
- Rosario.
- Ooh !
305
00:15:03,253 --> 00:15:04,558
Knock it off !
306
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,680
What you're feeling are pangs of guilt.
307
00:15:08,993 --> 00:15:10,050
What ?
308
00:15:10,197 --> 00:15:14,520
Guilt. Oh, boy. Ok.
How am I gonna explain this one ?
309
00:15:15,013 --> 00:15:18,510
Uh...guilt is an emotion that...
310
00:15:18,631 --> 00:15:23,080
Ok. Jumping ahead.
An emotion is something that I...
311
00:15:23,201 --> 00:15:24,192
Allons !
312
00:15:24,313 --> 00:15:25,942
Come on ! I know what guilt is.
313
00:15:26,063 --> 00:15:28,387
It's one of those touchy-feely
words that people throw around
314
00:15:28,508 --> 00:15:29,381
that don't really mean anything...
315
00:15:29,502 --> 00:15:31,997
You know, like "maternal" or "addiction."
316
00:15:35,414 --> 00:15:37,461
Rosario.
317
00:15:37,738 --> 00:15:39,310
Go get her out of jail !
318
00:15:39,431 --> 00:15:40,375
I'm not going to Queens !
319
00:15:40,496 --> 00:15:42,562
There are people living
in cabs down there !
320
00:15:44,258 --> 00:15:46,380
Let her tunnel her way out !
321
00:15:47,881 --> 00:15:49,749
Ok. Fine. Don't get her.
322
00:15:50,164 --> 00:15:53,133
I'm sure you'll find someone else
who'll clean your house and
323
00:15:53,254 --> 00:15:57,272
love your kids and cream
Stan's liver spots and...
324
00:15:57,842 --> 00:15:59,711
Like a puppet on a string.
325
00:16:04,187 --> 00:16:05,244
Hey, what are you doing ?
326
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:06,978
All my plants died.
327
00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:09,352
I told Jack to water them
while I was away.
328
00:16:09,473 --> 00:16:10,911
But I can see how he might
hear that as
329
00:16:11,032 --> 00:16:13,240
"fill up my hard drive
with Internet porn."
330
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,022
What's the matter ?
Why are you pouting ?
331
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:19,383
I'm not pouting.
332
00:16:19,504 --> 00:16:22,856
Hey, I watch "Ally McBeal."
I know what pouting looks like.
333
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,261
You're pouting.
334
00:16:25,029 --> 00:16:27,574
I heard you and Jack
in your apartment last night.
335
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:28,923
What ?
336
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,879
So now you're worried
that Jack's my new you ?
337
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,667
Ha ! I don't...
338
00:16:38,950 --> 00:16:40,054
Maybe...
339
00:16:41,457 --> 00:16:45,626
- Oh, my God. Could you be any cuter ?
- Grace !
340
00:16:45,747 --> 00:16:48,877
Oh, I'm sorry. I just love not
being the insecure wreck for once.
341
00:16:48,998 --> 00:16:50,695
My feelings aren't cute, ok ?
342
00:16:50,816 --> 00:16:53,122
I'm not the youngest brother
on "Eight is Enough."
343
00:16:54,786 --> 00:16:56,748
How can you like Jack better than me ?
344
00:16:57,102 --> 00:16:59,675
Are kidding me with this ?
345
00:17:00,057 --> 00:17:02,579
We've been best friends for 15 years.
346
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:05,660
Do you really need me to tell you
how much you mean to me ?
347
00:17:05,781 --> 00:17:07,862
I do it for you like every 5 minutes.
348
00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:08,948
No, you don't !
349
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:10,609
Grace, I have to talk you off a ledge
350
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,232
every time the Starbucks
lady gives me extra foam !
351
00:17:14,139 --> 00:17:16,521
Well, clearly there's
something going on there.
352
00:17:16,758 --> 00:17:18,479
I mean, the two of you
have your own language.
353
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:21,806
Grace, it's called a macchiato.
354
00:17:23,796 --> 00:17:25,479
All right. What do you
want me to say ?
355
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,744
I don't know !
How about something like...
356
00:17:27,865 --> 00:17:30,838
Like you need me more
than anybody else...
357
00:17:30,959 --> 00:17:33,180
There's no one that
could ever take my place...
358
00:17:33,301 --> 00:17:35,325
And then that, you
know, you promise
359
00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:37,696
when your last breath escapes
you in this earthly life,
360
00:17:37,817 --> 00:17:39,184
it will whisper my name.
361
00:17:41,826 --> 00:17:43,243
Will.
362
00:17:44,427 --> 00:17:47,000
But, you know, in your own words.
363
00:17:47,683 --> 00:17:48,880
What does this say to you ?
364
00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:51,620
That you're out of Skin-So-Soft ?
365
00:17:53,068 --> 00:17:55,273
The scar, Will. Remember ?
366
00:17:55,394 --> 00:17:57,009
Oh, right. That's from
when your sister
367
00:17:57,130 --> 00:17:58,800
was sleepwalking and
thought you were a salami.
368
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:02,429
- That's on my thigh.
- Right.
369
00:18:03,409 --> 00:18:07,398
No. This scar is from junior year
when Scott Kelly dumped you.
370
00:18:07,848 --> 00:18:11,108
Remember ? I jumped on my moped,
ran over to your dorm,
371
00:18:11,229 --> 00:18:14,147
hit a patch of ice, and flew into
that stupid men's singing group.
372
00:18:14,268 --> 00:18:16,223
Right. The A Cappellicans.
373
00:18:18,897 --> 00:18:20,662
God, they sucked.
374
00:18:21,766 --> 00:18:25,766
The point is... My love for you
is like this scar...
375
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:29,000
Ugly but permanent.
376
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:36,200
So as long as this is on my elbow,
you've got nothing to worry about.
377
00:18:37,086 --> 00:18:38,100
Ok.
378
00:18:40,342 --> 00:18:42,147
And you know what else ?
379
00:18:42,268 --> 00:18:43,879
Ow ! What ? What'd you do that for ?
380
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,906
Don't you ever leave for
the months without telling me.
381
00:18:47,405 --> 00:18:48,457
Sorry.
382
00:18:49,088 --> 00:18:52,108
Can I say one last thing about Josh ?
383
00:18:52,229 --> 00:18:53,432
I think you should reconsider.
384
00:18:53,553 --> 00:18:55,420
I know he's not as exciting as Ben, but
385
00:18:55,541 --> 00:18:56,783
the man loves you.
386
00:18:56,904 --> 00:18:58,879
Grace, I have to tell you
something right away.
387
00:18:59,000 --> 00:18:59,680
Hold on. We're talking.
388
00:18:59,801 --> 00:19:01,901
Josh is kind. He's compassionate...
389
00:19:02,022 --> 00:19:04,013
All the things you've ever said
were important to you.
390
00:19:04,134 --> 00:19:05,155
You should break it off with Josh.
391
00:19:05,276 --> 00:19:06,729
Jack, you know, Will has a point,
392
00:19:06,850 --> 00:19:09,329
so maybe I should just think
about Josh a little more.
393
00:19:09,450 --> 00:19:11,079
He doesn't. You don't. Dump him.
394
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,980
Jack, just because I say
one thing doesn't mean you
395
00:19:13,101 --> 00:19:14,984
automatically have to take
the contrary position.
396
00:19:15,105 --> 00:19:16,579
This is about what's best
for Grace, and I think...
397
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,949
- I screwed around with Josh.
- You should probably go with Ben.
398
00:19:21,636 --> 00:19:22,662
What ?
399
00:19:22,783 --> 00:19:23,647
Yeah, well
400
00:19:23,768 --> 00:19:26,395
remember how I said there was something
about Josh I couldn't put my finger on ?
401
00:19:26,516 --> 00:19:27,631
Well...
402
00:19:32,035 --> 00:19:34,251
I... Put my finger on it.
403
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,786
Sorry !
404
00:19:45,753 --> 00:19:47,612
We had a saying on the Island.
405
00:19:49,265 --> 00:19:50,570
Maka maka lana...
406
00:19:51,592 --> 00:19:53,715
Lana makalui...
407
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:55,829
What does that mean ?
408
00:19:55,950 --> 00:19:57,317
I don't know. I just can't believe
409
00:19:57,438 --> 00:19:59,306
you ended up with another gay guy !
410
00:20:05,619 --> 00:20:07,732
Oh, honey, what an ordeal.
411
00:20:08,018 --> 00:20:11,719
You should be down on your knees
giving thanks to Saint Hootchy-Kootchy
412
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,086
whatever coconut shell
your people pray
413
00:20:14,207 --> 00:20:15,726
to that you didn't have
to go through that !
414
00:20:17,934 --> 00:20:21,082
And while you were busy yapping it up
with the she-man of Cell Block H,
415
00:20:21,203 --> 00:20:23,143
I was doing double-time at the mans.
416
00:20:24,395 --> 00:20:27,168
You know I actually had to read
to the kids last night ?
417
00:20:27,289 --> 00:20:29,025
I didn't know what
in hell to do, so I read 'em
418
00:20:29,146 --> 00:20:31,002
the warning
label on my Dalmane !
419
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:34,659
Oh, God... Oh,
420
00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:37,379
but listen to me goin' on like this.
It's terrible !
421
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:41,085
I haven't even given you a chance to
thank me for springing you outta Oz !
422
00:20:41,780 --> 00:20:42,772
Oh, honey, watch it !
423
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:44,245
My drink ! My drink ! My drink !
424
00:20:44,366 --> 00:20:45,677
Honey ! Honey ! Honey, honey...
425
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,000
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