All language subtitles for Taylor Slit - Another tourist on the Bangbus - BangBus

So this is good this is I mean because
everybody acts like they're all thug

because they're from Hialeah What is it
like a mentality has other projects

here?

The congestion Was

that because nobody has a job

He says, Hialeah Hospital, we... I know.

You rape him, we scrape him.

What are you fucking talking about?

Aren't you from Hialeah?

You sound like you're from Hialeah, man.
I'm from Cuba.

Why do you keep saying that?

Does that just fit in?

You just don't want to say where you're
really from? No, it's an internal joke

between Moses and... He thinks he's
Cuban, but, you know.

Everybody knows I don't have the honor.

Well, I was kind of hoping, you know, I
don't want to be at the beach. I'm sick

and tired of the beach. But, I mean,
this is dead.

Like, there's nothing going on here.

You know what they need to do at the
airport in Miami?

What? Now that you speak of the beach.

They need to give every tourist a small
guide on how to use four -way stop

signs. They need to give every person
that lives in Miami a guide on how to

the fucking turn signal.

You know how bad?

It's like a plague across Miami. They
need to give every local the same guide.

The thing is, they go to Office Depot
and they buy their licenses there.

You know, fucking... Office Depot?

Yeah, fucking... Is that where you got
yours?

Yeah, no, I got mine at... No,

it's true, though. There's a lot of
people in Miami that don't even know

it's illegal to take a left turn on red.

Because in their country, it's legal.

They come here and they still do it.

It's a dangerous place, man. I've been
driving since I was 16, you know.

Not until I got to Miami did I have any
accidents.

Somebody ran a red light and ran right
into my tire one time. Really? Cracked

the wheel.

That's their way of saying welcome to
Miami, you know.

How do they drive in Egypt, Moses?

I don't know. I'm not Egyptian.

Magic carpets?

Yeah. We ride carpets, you know.

Are you feeling adventurous, Marco?

I told you I'd find her, man.

Find who? Grimace?

Or is that Barney?

Let's just keep going. I can't believe
this is like the mall activity in this

area.

Okay.

She had a lot of big ones.

Uh, maybe, um... There's no one under
35.

I don't understand what's going on
today.

Like... Where... Is that... Is that...
Are you

into that?

I really did want to find like a... I
really did want to find a black girl. It

just... It hasn't been done for so long.

This is such a game of chance.

How are there all these fucking cars and
no people?

How does that work?

I mean... Yeah, good point.

Good point.

But doesn't... Nobody's finished... He
farted a Red Sea, man. He's got skills.

Yeah, I did my Christmas shopping here.
It fucking sucked, man.

You think it's packed now. This is
like...

He's happy right now. Come on, man.
Yeah, I think 2012 will be... Oh, look.

There you go. There you go. Your black
girls.

Uh... Is that... Ah, jeez. You get four
for... Uh...

That's not a parade. That's a fucking
riot, dude.

That's a... That's a past riot.

Now, where are they going? That's a
riot.

Okay, let's tone down the racism, just
in case.

We didn't say anything racist. Just in
case we use this footage.

No, we didn't say anything racist. Well,
there's a MILF. She's even got a

walker.

Why is everybody wearing purple?

Okay, those girls are actually, well,
that belly, I don't... I mean, no,

actually, I like a belly. I personally
like a belly. Well, there's a black

She's a... You can't see her?

What is going on?

Did you say heat?

No. Oh, dude, is it true? And I'm not
fucking with you. Seriously, I'm not.

Is it true that...

to get into because you do a lot of porn
it's like you do your male talent

you're well known is it true that you
guys have to start off in gay porn and

then is that a rumor no it's not true
are you seriously because a lot of guys

have done that yeah well that's their
own choice and we respect that choice

what is going on man there's like nobody
here yeah

uh all right um I'm not getting
frustrated.

I mean, we do this all the time, and I
have the patience of a... I don't know,

an elephant. I guess that's a good
analogy.

But let's go to a residential area or
something. Yeah, man, this is fucking...

mean, we'd have just as much luck there
as we do here. I don't know.

Would you like electronic music? No,

man, I'm not there. You're a musician,
though, right?

I can say that. It's not your tradition.

I can say that.

Dude, we gotta find some girls, man. I'm
dying here.

Yeah, but in the meantime, like, how are
you a musician?

What do you play?

Look. Do you play guitar?

Look. Oh, dude.

Hey, come on. Oh, shit. You're looking
for an old lady. I'm desperate, man. But

she is black.

Dude, and she's got a big booty on her.

You like fucking old women. No, that's
not... So I say have more experience.

Dude, I know that freaks that live
around here, man. There has to be some.

You and your theories, you brought us to
fucking... Dude, there's vanilla there.

Wait, so what instrument do you play?

Are you avoiding this question? Yeah,
man, I'm trying to find girls.

Yeah, well, we're not doing anything.

I don't see shit.

I just see bushes, man.

I see fucking... You gotta look beyond
the bush. All I see is trees, man. Look

beyond the bush, man. Look.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Okay, cool. Hey, pull up up here.

Please, please, let's try not to be
creepy, because we usually are.

Hello.

This is cute.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Please.

I get the feeling that... Hi, what's
your name?

Taylor.

What's with the camera?

Oh, shit, there's a train right now.

We're not going to be able to... I'm not
going to be able to hear what you're

saying.

I'm not avoiding the question. I just, I
hate trains.

I really hate trains. You'd rather hear
me?

Yes, exactly.

Okay, the camera.

Nothing. I mean, it's 2012. My friends
and I, we like to drive around and just

try to capture random footage. That's
all.

Oh, okay. Like, you know, like viral
videos. We're trying to try to get rich

the internet.

Oh, everybody's trying to get rich,
ain't they?

Yeah, it's not working so far. Oh,
really?

You said your name's Taylor?

Yeah. That's cool. Um, are you from
around here? Oh, my name's Marco.

Marco? Yeah. Nice to meet you. It's nice
to meet you.

Oh, you have soft hands.

Thank you. So do I.

Uh,

what's, uh, how old are you? I'm 21.

Okay. Do you mind that I'm filming this?

No. No?

Oh, you seem to be enjoying yourself.

Uh, well, actually, we're just, um, are
you from around here? You got, like, a

twang. A twang? Yeah.

I'm from West Virginia.

Really? Yeah. Really? I actually came
down here to do a little bit of

Really? How's that working out?

I did a couple of shoots.

A couple of shoots? Nothing major, you
know? Like, what do you model?

Lingerie. Really?

Yeah.

Fucking alarms are going off in my head.

That's cool, I guess. Another fucking
train. What is...

What is it? 1950?

That's cool.

Are you into trains?

Yeah. I love all that Western stuff.

That's Western?

Pretty much.

I mean, how long has a train been, you
know, here in the United States?

I don't know, but I know the railroads
were built by Chinese people.

Really? Yeah, that's what they say. It's
not racist. That's history. That's

history, exactly.

All right.

Are you racist?

No. I'm just asking West Virginia.

I don't know.

Oh, wait.

I'm sorry. Maybe that's a stereotype.
Maybe I just said something racist.

What are you doing today?

Nothing. I'm just taking a walk right
now.

You're from West Virginia? What are you
doing in Miami?

Modeling. Oh, fucking yeah. You told me
about that.

Is the blonde starting to rub off?

Yeah.

Actually, a blind guy was in a bar, and
he asked the bartender if he wanted to

hear a blonde joke.

And the bartender didn't respond to him.
And the guy next to him tapped him on

the shoulder. He was like, hey, buddy, I
know you're blind, but the bartender's

blonde. The bouncer's blonde.

I'm blonde. Do you really want to tell
that blonde joke? And he goes, well, not

if I'm going to have to explain it three
times.

Sorry. I told that joke the other day.

I usually don't get that response.

That's cool. You got a sense of humor.

It's a cute outfit.

Thank you. Is that how people dress in
West Virginia?

I'm just trying to fit in.

Yeah. Well, I don't think sweaters help
you fit in in Miami. Yeah, especially in

South Florida, you know? Yeah, it's kind
of hot. Yeah.

Well, you seem cool. You seem very
approachable.

I don't know what you're doing today,
but would you like to hang out with us?

I actually got some things to do.

That's a nice way of saying no.

Okay.

No, I understand. I understand.

We're strangers.

Stranger danger.

Yeah, stranger danger.

Well, what do you have to do today?

Just a couple errands. Like what?

Got to go to the grocery store.

I want to go shopping, of course. What
girl doesn't want to go shopping?

And do you have a car?

No. So how are you?

Oh, we can give you a ride.

Nah, I'll probably call a taxi.

I get the impression that you're liking
this attention and the camera. And I was

thinking, you know, we're just driving
around trying to capture footage.

Maybe we can just do like...

a quick interview with you. I mean, I've
never met anyone from West Virginia

before. It would be pretty... It'd be
interesting.

I mean, this is a pretty... Make it seem
like I'm out of the country.

Well, you're from out of state.
That's... Yeah. I mean, most people in

are. It's a transient state, but still.

I mean... Excuse me. I have cancer.

What if... What if... See, I mean, this
is a nice scenery, you know, really,

but I'm thinking...

Fucking, I'm scared I'm going to scare
you off. Like, here's the deal. A lot of

times when we can't just meet random
strangers like you on the street, we'll

somebody to just do an interview with
us. All we do is just talk to you. We

to do it in the van, though. That's
where it gets really sketchy. Like,

where everyone seems to get scared.

But, I mean, hey, Tyler, can you open
the door so she can see that it's not

There's no guillotines or anything in
here?

There's no what?

Guillotines. It's a murder device from a
long time ago.

Uh,

this is my friend Tyler.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Okay,

no weapons of course.

Yeah, that's cool.

Hold on, are y 'all weapons?

Uh, no, not unless you, I mean, no.

No? I don't think so.

You don't think so?

No.

Okay, so, an interview?

Yeah, could you come back over here? I
feel like I'm in a drive -thru.

Unless I break my ankle first.

Yeah, I know. I like your twang. It's
cute. It would make great footage.

why I'm like, should I?

I can pay you, like, $40.

All we're going to do is just drive
around.

Because the thing is, like, I can't
control the environment out here. Like,

there's trains going by and everything.

It's a lot of noise, and if the sun goes
through a cloud or whatever, it gets

dark, it gets light, it gets dark.

And I don't know if I'm even allowed to
film here without a permit, because this

is public property.

Well, this is public property.

I mean, it is for a documentary, but I
don't want to get hassled by anybody.

If you're willing to come with us,
that's all we'll do. I'll pay you $40,

I'll just ask you a bunch of questions.

I mean, are you open to this idea?

Would more money help, or you just don't
feel safe?

Hey, money talks.

Yeah, it does.

So, it's a money thing?

Up it up.

Up it up? Is that hip -hop?

Is that hip -hop?

Okay.

I can give you six, eight.

That's pretty much my top. That's my
cap.

Damn, cancer.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Got a little tickle?

Yeah, in my throat.

He was rough with me. I'm sorry.

Bad joke.

So, I mean, what about it? Like $60, is
that enough?

We're just going to drive around. It's
going to take like 20 minutes.

For an interview?

A few questions?

That's it. And y 'all can show me around
pretty much, too.

Yeah, we can drop you off at the grocery
store. We can give you a ride home

after the grocery store.

Okay. We can interview you while you're
grocery shopping.

Yeah, interview me while I'm grocery
shopping. That would be nice. It would

Everybody's on this fad these days of,
like, the vegan fad. You know, diet is a

big deal to people.

I might learn something.

Yeah, you don't need one. I don't need
one, exactly. I got my metabolism.

You eat meat, right? I'm jealous. Oh,
yes.

All right, well, are you open to this,
or what's... Can we...

Yeah. Right?

Yeah. We're being generous. I'd
appreciate it.

Cool. All right. Yeah. Great.

Taylor, it was? It is? Yeah. All right.
Cool. Get in. If you're up to it.

All right. No problem, man. Get off
Twitter.

Just be careful.

I'm still in your seat.

Damn, I really do have a... It's not too
warm.

It's disgusting.

I hate that. When I get in somebody's
seat and it's warm, it's just...

It's ass energy.

I don't like that. Whatever.

Cool. So you said you're 21 years old,
right? Yep. Do you have any IDs on you?

Yeah. Okay.

I'm going to put this down for a second.
Would you mind signing a paper?

You're just signing over this footage.
You're just saying I can use it, okay?

Okay.

Excuse me. I just burped out my soul.

Diet soda.

Yeah.

Okay.

So... How long have you been in Miami?

Just a few weeks now.

A few weeks?

Yeah. Do you like it?

Yeah. I'm trying to get used to this hot
-ass weather, though.

It's not hot in West Virginia?

No. Up there, it's still snowing. Oh,
really? Yeah. I didn't know. I didn't

know. I've only been there once.

I went to Cool Font Mountain.

It was pretty cool. They had an apple
butter festival.

Oh, that's interesting.

Yeah, it was. They had this big apple
festival, and it was like... All this

apple cider and apple pies and apple
butter.

They make some good apple cider up
there.

Yeah, it was good. It was potent.

It was potent.

Yeah, and we went fishing and I kept
catching carp, which is like a waste of

time. Yeah, you've got to get them back.

Yeah, the carp, they have way too many
bones. Well, you know what I'm talking

about. That's cool. Most people have no
idea what I'm talking about.

I have no idea what you're talking
about.

Oh my god, you're a guy.

Our generation isn't very outdoorsy,
should we say. Yeah,

he's from Cuba.

Okay, so what's modeling?

Is that what you want to do as a career,
or is that like fast money kind of

thing?

I kind of want to do it as a career.

Really? I want to be able to go to
different branches of the modeling.

My favorite model is Adriana Lima.

Okay. And she's a Victoria's Secret
model.

Yeah. And, yeah, she's very beautiful.

She's from Brazil.

Yeah, the thing about models, though, is
a lot of them, it's not that they're

beautiful, it's that they're unique.

Yeah. You know? Or that they know how
to... Well, they've got good

personalities. I doubt that.

I'm sorry, I just... You've got to be
pretty egotistical. No offense, but

got to be pretty egotistical to assume
that you can make a money...

Make a money. Make some money off of
your looks. You know, make a living.

living off of your looks.

Yeah. What?

What is that?

So, what's that on your necklace?

On my necklace? Oh, two hearts. Or two
dolphins that make a heart.

Oh, cool.

Your boyfriend gave that to you?

Ex -boyfriend. Yeah.

I heard that girls don't buy themselves
heart jewelry.

Only guys buy that for them. Yeah. Yeah?

Okay.

So, I don't mean to get on a bad
subject, but what happened? Why is he

Uh, he just... Horrible boyfriend.

What, like he didn't open doors for you?

No, I mean... Well, that too.

I've been engaged twice.

Me too.

I have, I really have. Yeah, but I'm 21
and I've been engaged twice now.

But still.

21 too.

Why is that funny?

I'm starting to feel offended.

It reminds me of Dorothy from The Wizard
of Oz.

How does this remind you of Dorothy from
The Wizard of Oz?

Maybe the skirt, but Dorothy was wearing
like a full dress, right?

Dude,

he's foreign, right?

Okay.

You guys say it like it's a bad thing,
though.

Yeah, we're in a salad.

It's not a melting pot.

Yeah, it's not a melting pot.

Cubans stick to their own.

The Haitians stick to their own. That's
why there's Little Haiti and Hialeah.

And then all the gay people are on the
beach.

All the Jewish people are in North
Beach.

Have y 'all heard of that? No.

No? No. I heard about it. It's a new
beach.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah.

That's one of the old guys. Yeah. I
mean, it's like, I don't know where it

know it's near Miami somewhere.

Yeah, it's a big, it's a sausage fest,
man. You're going to be the only girl

there, and all the guys there aren't
even going to be interested in it.

old. They're old and they're gay.

I'm serious. I'm not even.

I feel like a door is open or something.
It's really loud in here.

I'll help you out.

So, what level of education have you
reached?

I dropped out beginning of my 11th year.

Why?

I traded, or I traded.

I switched over to a new school.

And I was like, okay, well, as long as
I'm studying, I'm a straight -A student.

But I started getting back into the, you
know, skip crowd and all that stuff.

So I just said, fuck it.

Fuck it?

Yeah, I haven't really been...

Tattoo it on your forehead. Have you
seen Big Lebowski?

Yeah. That's my favorite movie.

Oh, yeah, fuck it.

Tattoo it on your forehead. The bum's
lost.

Okay, so that's cool. So has that made
life difficult for you, not having an

education? Yeah, I do wish I was still
in school, or at least finished it.

yeah, why don't you finish it? You can
take your GED.

I'm really bad with math.

Oh, yeah, me too.

But there are courses you can take at
community colleges that will help you

up to par.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, the GED doesn't go much, it
doesn't even go past the algebra.

As long as you remember the order of
operations, you're fine.

Yeah,

20 bucks more.

Good job.

Going through a tunnel.

Going through a tunnel.

Hey, what do you think about, have you
heard, have you read about that, they

this system like for travel, they're
trying to build this high speed.

tubes that seat six people and it's it's
run by gravity or a vacuum and it costs

like a quarter of the cost of uh
airplanes or trains am i blowing your

okay never mind those are you're totally
blowing my mind that's a bad idea

they're coming out with them uh flying
cars or whatever Jet trains?

Yeah, where they go extra fast and
they're more eco safe. Yeah, the ones

they have in Japan and all over Europe
and America still says they're number

one, but we refuse to fucking upgrade.

We seem cool.

We seem open to all this stuff. Can I
ask you more personal questions?

You can ask me whatever.

Okay. Have you ever considered getting a
boob job? And I'm not saying you need

one. I'm just asking if you ever
considered it.

Yeah, I want to get a fuller B.

Fuller B?

Yeah, if that makes any sense. I'm a
32B. Oh, really?

Yeah, I know I look like an A. No,
you're wearing white clothing, so I

couldn't tell. There's no contrast. It
doesn't stand out. Like, nothing there.

That's cool.

But, like, I just want them, you know,
just a little bit bigger.

For what? For you or for guys?

For myself. Really? Yeah, to match my
ass.

Why? Because usually the best ass butt
is my ass.

I didn't notice. I haven't seen your
butt. I really have no idea. I have no

frame of reference.

That's cool.

Can I see it?

Is that wrong?

Can I show you one side?

One side.

Oh my god, that's not even close to what
I was talking about, but I appreciate

it. That's a cool tattoo.

Is that like for Rolling Stones?

You need to buy a new skirt, huh? That
definitely doesn't show your ass.

Yeah, I got an ass.

Good for you.

No, she said she's pure. She's Aryan.

Pure Italian.

What the hell does Aryan mean?

I don't even know what that means.

Oh, you're Italian?

Yeah, I'm Italian, French, and Irish.

Oh, cool, cool, cool. And Indian.

And what, like Native American?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, do you know what
tribe?

Uh, my mom told me. I can't remember.

Are you sure? Because a lot of people
say that they're Native American just to

make themselves sound spicier.

No. Like, no, seriously, my father lied
to me and told me that I was part Native

American. And I didn't find out until I
was a teenager that I really wasn't.

Yeah, you don't look like you got any
type of Native in you. Yeah.

I thought that's why I excelled so well
at Boy Scouts. I thought, like, it was

in my blood. I just, whatever.

He was lying to me. He told me later on
in life.

Yeah, but the Italian and Irish, they
kind of, you know, collide sometimes.

What, with alcohol?

And I just, my attitude.

Oh, yeah, tempers, tempers. But dark
liquor can get it, too.

Yeah, but, you know, Italians seem to
live forever, no matter what they do, no

matter how they treat their bodies. My
grandma is turning 70 this year. Yeah?

May 2nd.

She looks like she's 40.

That's cool. That's good.

You have that to look forward to. You
really got to take all the precautions

right now while you're young. Trust me.
I'm all, take my advice.

You want to take all those precautions
like your diet, your skin. I mean, it

adds up over time. Oh, yeah. And enjoy
your metabolism while you have it and

wear sunscreen for Christ's sake. Yeah,
my mom has cancer from wearing

sunscreen. Yeah. So you don't obsess
about having a tan or anything like

I mean, I do.

I'd rather be Tanner, but it seems like
I don't want to tan. I don't know.

Yeah, I got a sex challenge.

What are those apartments?

They're so freaking colorful.

Yeah, that's the way it is in Miami. Oh,
my gosh.

Oh, shit. Where am I?

Oh, yeah, I play disc golf over here.

You play what over here? Disc golf.

Oh, I thought you said disco.

No, I can.

I can. Believe me.

Disc golf is that... It's where you play
golf with frisbees.

It's just like golf, but it's with
frisbees.

And it's more casual.

It's a hippie thing. It's actually like
a... It's a white thing, I guess. I

don't know.

Yeah, it would be nice.

You'd probably like it. You'd probably
like it.

It's casual, it's fun. All the people
that play are really courteous and nice.

It's like a stoner thing, really. It's a
hippie stoner thing.

Why, do you smoke?

It's okay.

You don't have to answer.

Okay, I'm not answering.

All right. I mean, I'm not going to turn
this into the Peds or anything like

that.

Okay, so just say yes. I don't smoke
anymore.

I used to, but it was getting to me.

Obviously he smokes, so that's cool.

He's talking about thank you for
smoking. Thank you for smoking.

He was a lobbyist. Yeah,

you know how they used to be lobbyists.

Yeah.

That's your whole story.

Thank you for the contribution, man. Oh,
did you ever hear about the Hansons?

The Hansons? The band?

No.

The hippies?

Yeah,

me too.

The youngest brother was so annoying to
me. Yeah, and their long hair.

But I don't know what you're talking
about the Hansons.

It was, I think, back in, like, the 60s.

They were, like, pretty much stoners or
something.

And they went on, like, a murdering
spree.

Okay. And they were in jail up in West
Virginia.

And about a year or two ago, whoever
didn't die in jail got out.

I just found it interesting.

Oh, no, but I watched that documentary
about the Whites.

It's a family in West Virginia. And
they're all fucking, like, trailer

like... rowdy starting bar fights and
shit yeah that's just incredible you

um okay that movie uh i think wrong turn
the one with the fire tower in it no

i don't know do y 'all know what i'm
talking about fire tower fire tower

a fire tower and it is uh in greenberg
county west virginia

Well, I fucked on... It's a scary movie.
I don't know how many of them are scary

movies. Did you say I fucked?

I fucked on the road to that damn fire
tower.

I don't understand that last sentence.

You fucked on the road to that fire
tower? Yeah, to the fire tower.

It's in the movie.

You fucked to a fire tower.

No, I fucked somebody on the road to the
fire tower.

While you guys were walking and fucking
at the same time?

Well,

I don't know.

That's why I said I don't... He's like,
let's go for a walk and fuck at the same

time. So you're familiar with fucking in
vehicles?

It sucks, man.

It sucks. There's never enough room.

Most people enjoy sex.

Do you enjoy sex?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, you talked about it. Oh, really?

That's cool.

Must suck that you don't know anybody
here, though.

Because, I mean, nymphos are insatiable,
right? We can pick up somebody.

Really? Yeah.

Huh. Somebody else. Are you joking with
me, or are you putting on an act, or are

you actually down to just whatever?

I'm serious.

Pull on your leg.

I'll pull your leg.

Oh, his third leg? His third leg, yeah.

Dudes. Um.

What? You know, actually, um.

You don't know what that is?

They don't have bicycles in Cuba.

Oh. With kickstands? Yeah. Well, that's
the only frame of reference for it.

Okay. So, you're serious? You would
actually have sex with a stranger right

I mean, are you feeling it? Like, do you
feel like you need something like that?

Oh, yes. I'm still warning.

See, that's what I mean. That's why I
can't tell if you're being serious or

I'm serious.

Really? Yeah.

You were hesitant to get in the vehicle
in the first place, but now you're here

and you're comfortable, so now it's just
you're down for whatever?

Yeah.

Okay.

I tell you what, I can solve a lot of
your problems

right now. I'm going to give you $60,
okay? That's what I agreed to give you.

If you want, and if you're actually down
for this and you're not just

exaggerating, I can give you, not to
call you a prostitute or anything like

that, but I can give you more money for
you to have sex with my friend if I can

film it. Get me out of my pocket.

Oh, it was me?

No, I was trying to get her to give me
that.

No, Smokey, come on.

Anyways, forget everything we just
talked about. It's redundant.

Would you? Okay, if you're actually down
for this, we can do this. I mean, I'm

just kind of like making you step up to
the plate. Alright.

I want to see if you're fucking around.

Would you do that? If I gave you $200,
would you have sex with my friend Tyler

here on camera?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Just like that?
Yeah.

Sometimes.

We're being serious.

You really would?

Yeah.

I don't believe you. She's not acting so
serious.

All right. Can you kiss his penis? I
want to see if you're serious. Just kiss

it.

Oh, shit. No kidding.

So we're actually doing this.

That's cool. That's cool. We're actually
doing this.

Holy shit. Could you kiss my penis?

You and... Oh, shit. I'm getting action.

We need to pardon that thing.

It's all here.

All right. Are you sure?

Yeah. I don't think I can accept this
much money. Why?

Because. I mean, I could be just doing
this for fun.

I hope it is fun. I kind of want to give
you the money.

because i want i want to maintain it's
gonna sound weird i want to maintain

kind of control you know so i could kind
of direct you through this it's always

been my fantasy to like film something
like this you know my life is pretty

boring your dream to get somebody
wanting to film it no it's my dream to

an adult movie i think it would be cool
to to capture this you don't see this

every day i don't i mean this is weird

I'm so glad you're so cool. All right,
so that's yours. Do you want me to put

in your purse?

Yeah, just put it over there. All right,
cool.

Man,

you have a camouflage purse.

That's fucking cool.

All right.

All right.

Do you mind if I blend it in?

No, it's pink on the inside, just like
women.

Okay, so, yeah,

let's get started.

Can I check you out first?

What do you want me to do?

I'll start with your feet. Oh, you keep
your toes done.

Yeah, I have to.

I get a bug bite.

Can I see your panties?

Can I see my panties?

Yeah, come into that.

Oh, shit.

So you threw panties? Yeah.

That's nice.

Does your bra match?

No, it's actually white and pink.

That's cool.

Oh.

Nice, nice, nice, nice. I'm kind of
boring myself.

Could you open your legs so I can see?

Oh, yeah.

That's the shot.

That's the shot.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, they're really see -through. Yeah,
they are.

It's nice. I like it. It's sexy.

Okay.

Could you just, like, give me a show?
Like, take off your sweater and...

Kind of like a striptease. Yeah, that's
the word I was looking for.

Keep that sexy skirt on.

I like the buttons.

Yeah, the buttons.

Oh, you got your navel pierced.

No. No?

No.

Isn't there metal going through your
belly button?

You said my nipple.

I said your navel.

Oh, yeah. Like the orange.

You got a really nice body.

Please don't get a boob job.

Everybody says that. Maybe I'm speaking
too soon. I haven't seen him yet.

Can I see him?

What a gentleman.

You can tie up your hair if you want. I
like your hair, though. I really like

your hair.

My hair ties in my purse.

In the jungle?

In the jungle.

What are you talking about?

Those are nice.

I wish they were bigger, just a little
bit. No, boobs like that are rare these

days. Everybody's putting basketballs on
their tits. They're basketballs? Yeah,

one of my girlfriends just got a lift
because she had a kid. A lift?

Yeah. For off -roading?

Yeah, I like your nipples.

Just a handful, right?

That's what everybody says.

Just enough. I mean, the only good thing
about big tits is you can get a boob.

job, like shooting a titty fuck
somebody, but actually it's more

it is actually pleasurable.

It'd be fun to try that.

It'd be fun to try? Yeah. Can you shake
them?

What do you mean shake them?

Shake them.

It's nice.

It's just something I like. They look
like hummingbirds.

Cool.

Can you lose the underwears?

My underwears?

Yeah, I don't like saying panties. They
sound so feminine.

Sounds so stupid. You're getting creepy
for some reason. I could say something

about his speedo.

How about my speedo? Yeah, your speedo.

Hey, don't pick up my speedo.

Oh, that's my favorite thing.

Oh, my God.

You ever do anal?

No. No? You haven't even tried it?

I've tried it once.

It hurts.

That's what he tells me, but I don't
think it couldn't be that bad.

I'm just joking.

Just keeping it light.

What's the... Never mind. I don't want
to know. Are you tripping now?

No, you got a tattoo of names.

And like I just said, I don't even want
to know the story.

A lot of people say that's going to be a
mistake.

All right. Could you open this up?

Do you wax?

No, I shave.

Perfectly. I can't wax.

Why not?

I'm allergic.

Oh, you're allergic to wax?

I'm allergic. My skin's really
sensitive.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, I was going to recommend duct
tape, keeping with the theme of West

Virginia, but I didn't.

I do, too.

Really? I don't know. You tell me.

I have to take the word for it.

All right.

Do you mind bending over the couch? I
want to check out your ass. So you got a

big ass.

My best ass ass.

Oh, that's so nice.

Don't know me.

Yeah, this back thing is, uh... It's
what?

The... That's it, right? Yeah. Yeah,
nobody can see in there. Nobody can see.

Do you like things fine?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Yeah, I'm fine.

She's like, hey, what do you like?

Yeah, I dig on my butt.

Do you have everybody else?

I love your hair, but... What, you want
it up? Yeah, I'm kind of...

Yeah, it's time to get started.

Oh, you don't have to take off your
glasses.

Really?

What, are you going to poke yourself in
the eye with them?

I like them.

It's like, no offense, it makes you look
like the nerdy girl, or more

professional, you know what I mean?

You have nice eyes, though.

I like your eyebrows.

On my right one.

Like right here. In your eyebrows?

Yeah. And I have a white sweat up here.

Oh, you've got that skin thing. What is
it, vertigo or something like that? I

don't know. That's what they keep
saying. Yeah, vertigo.

You said I'm a cooter too, right?
Really? I didn't notice. You have a

Isn't that the guy from Dukes of
Hazzard?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right there?

Yeah, don't stress that shit. But you
know there is an ointment that you can

give to... What the fuck am I talking
about?

There is an ointment you can get that
will help it.

Really? Yeah, you don't want to turn out
like... Yeah, no.

Well, I'm actually already white, so it
don't really matter.

It does as soon as you get a tan.

We're talking to the wrong side.

but it's fun.

Jump in there?

Yes.

You okay?

Yeah.

Oh my gosh.

That's it, bro.

Relax your mouth and open your mouth.

Relax. All right.

Bye.

We need to send some blowjob instructors
to West Virginia.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey, could you turn it around? I want to
be able to see it first.

You're kind of bouncing here.

Good night.

No cum dodgy.

Oh, fuck.

Oh,

fuck.

It's like you guys saw it with Elmer's
grip.

The what?

Oh, my God. I didn't even notice that.
What?

What, the one on my forehead?

Yeah. I can feel it. Let me check it out
for a second.

I'm not going to torture you. It's
small.

It's awesome.

It's awesome, yeah. Can you get it off
now? Yes.

Here. I know you can't see. There's some
paper towels.

Hey, stop laughing.

I feel it.

It's part of nature, man. It's normal.
It's natural.

Hold on. Is it in my eyes anywhere? I
don't see any. Before I open them? No, I

don't see any. I'm being honest, too.

It is on your hair, though.

Cool.

Hey, you got the money, right?

Everything's good?

Yeah, you put it in here, right? Yeah, I
put it in there.

Where at?

It should be in there. I put it in
there.

Not. Here it is.

Yeah? Welcome to Miami. That's so fucked
up, man. That's so fucked up.