All language subtitles for Stalag Luft 1993

Are you

island.

Hallelujah.

Hallelujah.

What the rudy hell do you know that for

in German man? Always in German. You

must instinctively speak German whenever

you're surprised. What chance do you

think we've got of successfully escaping

otherwise? You should thank me, chump.

Thank you, Forester.

I mean, what is there to look at after

three and a half years? H

>> soon be over. You're escaping tomorrow,

aren't you?

>> Shut up.

Security, you blithering idiot. Sorry,

Forester.

>> Now, I long for some black pudding.

We'll ever taste any again.

>> You might quite soon.

>> What do you mean, Prof?

>> It chalks away for you tonight.

>> How do you know? Nobody's supposed to

know if I am escaping. And I'm not

saying I am.

>> It's obvious. The tension in your body,

the excitement in your eyes, the twitch

of fear on your lips.

>> It is possible to be too clever. You

know, Prof.

Good luck, John. Good luck, Forester.

Yeah, I have a plan and its audacity

will astound you.

>> All 327 of us.

>> Why not? The Germans are getting very

short on manpower. Most of their troops.

>> Yes. Thank you, Cosgrove. It is my plan.

>> I never said it once. No, it's just that

I think it might be helpful if I explain

some of the thought processes which went

into it.

It occurred to me how incredibly old and

stupid most of the guards are. The new

common dan can't be a day under 70.

Jerry is incredibly short of manpower.

Most of their good bods are busy

fighting.

I believe that if we can put them under

real pressure,

they'll collapse.

>> Hello. Super evening.

>> I have no time for small shhatter. I

must search hut 101.

>> Oh, have a piece of chocolate first.

>> I dare not. I have my orders if I

disobey.

What sort of chocolate?

Milk.

How can everybody escape?

>> I mean, Hopkins can't escape. His legs

are smashed to pieces.

He'd be a liability and he wouldn't

allow that. He's too proud.

>> All right, then. Everyone except

Hopkins.

>> You're outless bastard, Forester.

>> Your point exactly.

>> When the escape's discovered, all hell

will break loose. They'll have a roll

call to find out who's still here.

There'll be 87 German guards and Hopkins

dragging himself across the parade

ground to line up on his own.

>> We're not playing games here, Cosg

Grove. This is war.

>> Just a suggestion. Haggis Barington's

really taken Hopkins under his wing.

>> He's like a father to him already.

>> Father and son. So touching, so moving.

>> Is this right? If Hopkins say anything

would want to stay, too.

>> All right, then. I'm not inhuman.

Everyone except Hopkins and Barington.

>> Well, Barington had been our use to

Hopkins without Stefan God.

>> Explain yourself.

>> Well, Hagus and Stefan are in love.

>> How dare you?

>> I'm afraid Ali's rightwing commander

Forester. I knew from the start. One

would have to be pretty naive not to.

>> My god. Got Bourney and Bington rear

gunners.

I prided myself that at least we hadn't

come to that.

Now, God b I can believe he's a pole.

They're excitable. But Barington, he's

Scottish.

Well, we don't want people like that

escaping and then undermining morale

back home.

>> Thank you for the chocolate.

>> Oh, have another piece.

>> No, thank you. It was very nice, but

duty calls.

>> Duty.

>> Nervous to it.

>> I thought you were giving a warning

signal. No.

and one for his knob.

Oh yeah.

One for his knob. One for his knob.

For heisters, one for his knob.

Right now, my plan is this. Um, I shall

be in charge of the whole operation

incidentally.

>> Surprise, surprise.

>> Yes.

>> Well, I do think somebody has to be. And

I uh believe I'm pretty competent in

escaping, having escaped 23 times.

>> Well, so what? You're still here. You've

been captured 23 times. This is

competence.

>> Yes. Thank you. We've been through all

that, Cosg Gro.

>> Oh, very well. Does anyone else put

themselves forward?

Good. right now. Perhaps we can get on

with it. I should be known as Big F.

Incidentally,

>> now I plan no less than five tunnels

here, here, here, here, and here. They

will be called Tom, Dick, Harry, Julian,

and Glattis.

>> Julian

>> after my son. He's 15. He's a fine boy

considering. And uh Glattis, would that

by any chance be named after the little

lady?

>> It most certainly would not. She isn't

little. She isn't a lady. And I'll thank

you never to mention her again.

>> Still, it's a nice thought.

Perhaps I go through Glattis.

>> Yes, that's why I call one of the

tunnels Glattis. I realize that some of

you who aren't quite out of the top

drawer enjoy the occasional dirty little

snigger. Is it? How soon can you make me

German military or civilian uniforms for

327 prisoners

>> for you? 4 months.

>> I'll give you two.

>> Three. I can't do it in less.

>> Done. Shorty, can you make up 327 sets

of Ford's documents in 3 months?

>> If I have the help and if I have the

ink. Yes. Anything to get away from

these buckers.

>> Right. We go in 3 months from now or on

the first moonless night following it.

Do

>> you see those weeds, Donaldson? There's

water around here. Probably an

underground spring.

>> Oh my god.

>> What?

>> Well, we don't want water going into

certain

>> underground places of great importance.

>> Sorry, Dson. Not quite with you.

>> Oh, you mean the tunnels? God, no. Never

thought of that.

>> Shut up about tunnels, Einstein.

I know you probably can't understand us,

but you know how bad my nerves are.

>> Not one escape now for a month. Not one

man in the cooler, not even a complaint

about the soup.

>> That must be very gratifying.

>> Of course, it's not gratifying. You

think I'm stupid?

It means you are giving all your

energies to something else. What are you

planning?

>> Absolutely nothing. Haircom and Dad,

>> I do not believe you.

That is your privilege.

Why so gloomy? Einstein.

>> This sandy earth will be the ruin of my

asparagus.

>> Casualty of war, old chap.

>> Getting the earth out of the tunnels is

the real headache.

>> Well, why don't we use some of the

tunnels to store the earth from the

other tunnels?

Good thinking, Shorty.

>> Well, no tunnel could take more earth

than we dug out of it. So, we'd end up

with five tunnels full of earth, and we

might as well not have bothered to dig

in the first place. Congratulations,

Shorty, on fatuousness beyond the call

of duty.

>> Yes, as I say, it's good that you're

thinking, Shorty, but um do try to be

sensible.

>> Care for a piece of chocolate, old man.

>> I can't. The commandant want to hear

Forester.

Which of you is her Forester?

>> I am winging commander. Forester,

>> the commandant wants to see you.

>> No.

Get the hell out.

Please

tell me what you are planning.

Would you rarely expect me to? If we

weren't planning anything, which we

aren't.

If you think we are, although we aren't,

well, you're just going to have to try

and find out, aren't you? How

>> can we? You are cracked airmen. Your

resolution and invention sharpened by

desperation. We are a rebel.

Leftovers

see.

>> Well, that's your problem.

My men can find out nothing. They are

stupid. Your good men went to the front

to the Panza divisions to Raml to the

Luafera and the Navy. But you're not

stupid. You said so yourself.

>> I am

old.

We're in an ugly language, eh?

>> Well, worse than Welsh.

>> How dare you compare Welsh to German?

>> You really hate them, don't you?

>> I thought you taught German.

>> Well, I didn't know I ated them then. I

thought it was the French I ated.

Mind you, I don't like them much either.

>> What about the English? Can't stand the

bastards.

>> I like the British. I once took a

walking tour of office dyke. Good times

in pubs. A pint of ancestors, please.

If you make a big escape, we are all for

the ostront, the eastern front of us. So

please

help us.

I'm embarrassed by your defeatism.

>> Me, too. But

I am weary.

I'm sorry.

I'd like to help you.

Oh, well.

My poor old asparagus.

>> Never mind. The escape committee wishes

to interview you 8:00 this evening.

Pilot officer Price Edgetton.

>> Oh, good.

Because I've got something to tell you.

>> I'm sorry to have to question you like

this, Price Edgitant. I know your father

and he's a damn good chap.

>> Jesus.

your point, Morris?

>> I just cannot believe the British class

system.

>> No, I don't suppose you can since you've

had no experience of class.

>> Oh, yeah, that's right. New Zealand's a

complete dump. I forgot.

>> Please tell us, prize agitant, why you

crawled out from under a hut and

practically fell over one of the German

ferrets.

>> I know it was stupid of me, but then I'm

not very bright. I had an idea. You see,

you had an idea. They teach you at Pudsy

Grammar School that sarcasm is one of

the lowest forms of wit. Cosgri,

>> Ignore them. What's your idea?

>> Well, I knew there was water around and

I thought there might be a well

somewhere around and I found it. The

Germans had built a hut on top of it.

Brilliant. That's a brilliant idea,

Einstein. Well, I think we can all see

what he's driving at, can't we?

>> Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. be um be nice to give

him an opportunity to spell it out for

himself, though.

>> Well, I thought the earth from the

tunnels could go down the well.

>> Precisely.

>> Bang on, Einstein. Knew you had it in

you. Your mother was a lovely person.

>> A glass of schnaps.

Thank you very much indeed.

I like you. You may call me Hinrich.

>> Well, thank you again, Hinrich.

You may call me Big F.

Big F.

>> Yes, Henrik.

>> You must be digging. Yet there is no

earth.

>> Really?

>> Yes.

I know you have a plan. Will you tell me

what it is?

>> You know I can't. Cheerio.

I didn't expect you to tell me.

Cheerio.

Here comes the difficult bit.

I almost feel a fool asking. One can

always ask.

You are right. My uh

my request is this.

Please may we come with you?

>> But he was serious. We know we can't

stop you going, he said. And the moment

you have gone, we're dead men.

Ridiculous.

>> Well, it's not that ridiculous from his

point of view. I mean, the bugger is

probably right.

>> Yeah, maybe it isn't so ridiculous from

our point of view. I mean, it would make

things easier,

>> huh? It would make things easier. What

an uplifting philosophy.

>> Look, you wouldn't be so scornful if I

was Australian.

>> I'm sorry, Bigf, but I think Alley's

right. Look, you're a clever chap, Prof.

intellectual academic. Why don't you

leave the practicalities to those of us

who haven't got their heads in the

clouds? There's a good chance.

>> I was actually thinking on practical

lines. It would make things easier.

There'd be no guards, no search lights,

nobody to sound the alarm.

Ah,

>> could we trust the buggers? They

wouldn't need German uniforms.

>> That's true already.

>> They all have German uniforms already.

>> And documents. They've all got German

passports. I'll give the buggers that.

>> What causes most escapes to fail? Our

ignorance of German.

>> Well, they all speak German.

>> Some good ideas there.

>> For a man with his head in the cloud.

>> No, not you too, Chuck. No, I'm sorry,

Big F, but I think this idea, fantastic

though it sounds, has logic on its side.

Now, we touched on logic at Puty Grammar

School, and I believe is logical for the

Jerry's in their predicament to accept

reality and make this suggestion.

I also think it's logical for us to be

realists and accept their help.

>> I absolutely refuse.

>> Sorry, Big F. It's 5 to1 against.

>> You can't have democracy in wartime.

Then what the hell are we fighting for?

>> Good god.

>> What the hell?

>> German man. Once you're the other side

of the bar, you won't get a second

chance.

>> I'm not going. I'm staying here with

Hoppy and Stefan. No, as a matter of

fact, you're not. Everyone's going now,

apparently.

>> Even Scottish homosexuals.

>> Sit down. Big F.

>> Thank you. I prefer to stand.

>> A bit chilly this morning.

>> I thought it was the British who

confined themselves to small talk about

the weather.

>> I wasn't talking about the weather.

Oh well, yes.

Look, were you serious about coming too?

Of course. We have no alternative. You

can trust me, incidentally.

>> Well, of course I can trust you. You're

a gentleman. Takes one to no one.

>> You trust me, but you disapprove of my

request.

>> Of course I do. It's ridiculous.

>> It is, isn't it? Splendidly ridiculous.

The Germans have no sense of the

ridiculous.

>> You should beware of racial stereotypes.

So, can we come with you?

>> Against my better judgment.

>> Yes. Good. We can be ready by Tuesday.

>> Tuesday?

The tunnels won't be finished for at

least 3 weeks. So, there are tunnels.

>> Oh my god.

>> Have I been tricked?

>> No. You tell us what we know. There are

tunnels. What we don't know is where.

And if you wish to hide them, my

chocolate mad guards won't find them.

But now that we are coming with you, we

don't need tunnels. We can walk out of

the gate. Walk out of the gate.

Walk out of the gate.

Men have sweated their guts out. We've

dug tunnels. We've we've made air pumps.

We've laid railway tracks. We've built

trolley. It's like the London

Underground down there. Men have risked

their lives.

This is a classy operation.

And we're not simply going to abandon it

and walk out of the gate. Now that is

ridiculous.

There is a right way and a wrong way of

doing things. Comment down.

If you were British, you had realized

that

we only needed five tunnels in case

Jerry discovered some of them. Well,

that's hardly relevant now that they're

coming too. So, I'm closing down Tom,

Dick, and Harry and concentrating on

Julian and Gladis, which are further

advanced.

No chance of discussing it, I suppose.

If Hitler's a dictator, Big F, what are

you?

>> Oh, thank you. That's just the support I

needed. All right, I suggest we close

down Tom, Dick, and Harry.

>> Sounds like a grand idea to me. All

those in favor?

Oh, the dashing.

Yes.

What you spell over the brighter?

>> O B R G F R I T E R.

Julian has broken through.

Julian has broken through.

>> Julian has broken through.

Juliet is

Julian.

>> We go on the 23rd or the 24th. That's in

16 or 17 days time.

>> Why the delay already?

>> There'll be no moon then. How was the

moon matter? There'll be nobody stopping

us. I reckon we should get waving now.

>> It's a question of a thing they probably

didn't teach you at Pudsy Grammar

School. Jump. It's called style. You get

engaged on long summer evenings just as

the western sky is flushed with the

first tinge of pink. You get divorced on

dank dark Thursdays when even the

gunmetal sky is weeping.

And you escaped from prison camps on

dark, still moonless nights.

>> Would have thought there was a practical

reason, too.

>> Yes. Well, trust you to take the poetry

out of it.

>> Oh, yes. I'm from dull, unpoetic little

New Zealand, aren't I? My god. I'd like

to correct some of your cultural

misconceptions. I'd just like to see the

look on your face when I showed you Dun

Eden Public Library.

How on earth were you ever made an

officer, Morrison?

So, clear skies tomorrow night, but uh

cloudy the night after. Looks like the

night after is the one

is good.

>> Abundaga

best in fish standing.

>> Yes, I'm not too bad. I'd prefer to

speak English though if you don't mind.

You are our guests on this operation.

Yes, that is fair. In English only then

to a dark moonless night.

A dark moonless night.

Don't get up.

You won't. Well, according to the German

weather forecast, the night after

tomorrow will be better.

>> Yeah. Einstein says exactly the reverse.

Tell me, Chad, which do you trust more?

The mighty German war machine or the

rather dim third son of an English

country gentleman?

>> The rather dim third song.

>> Good man. So do I. We go tomorrow night.

>> We go tomorrow night.

We go tomorrow night.

We go tomorrow night.

We go tomorrow night.

Oh, you knock.

>> Well done, Einstein.

Well done indeed.

>> My man would never have found us.

>> Yes. Well, I don't like to boast, but I

think we are pretty nifty when it comes

to escaping. So, where will you go,

Hinrich? Home.

>> Oh, dear. We will be marked men when the

empty camp is discovered or Switzerland

perhaps Sweden. Lisper.

>> I might even attempt to get to South

America.

>> Would it be sad to leave Germany?

>> Of course I will.

It is my home.

>> Can have a word big

in private.

>> Well, hang on.

>> Pitch black. Perfect night for it.

>> Well, what is it, Chump?

>> I still don't trust him. I mean, they're

still the enemy, aren't they?

>> What are you suggesting?

I think we should make them go first.

Make sure they don't leave anybody

behind.

>> Fancy telling Hinrich that. He thinks I

trust him. He respects me as a

gentleman.

>> And is your reputation as a gentleman

more important than the success of this

escape?

>> Oh, no. No, of course not. What a thing

to say.

>> Well, then besides

>> besides besides what?

>> They're our tunnels. It's our escape. We

should run the show our way.

I think we should make them escape

first.

>> All right, synchronize watches, please.

The escape will commence at

>> 23 15 hours precisely,

and the first to escape will be all the

German.

Don't cut

Nick Strow.

>> I'm disappointed in you, Bigf.

>> It's not a question of trust, Hinrich.

Of course, we trust you. We have a

gentleman's agreement, but this is our

show. You begged us, you, our captains,

to come along and help you out.

Look, we'd be failing in our duty. We It

would be unseammly. It would lack the

proper style if we didn't humiliate you

a little first. H

You must see there.

>> Yes.

>> Yes, I understand. I do the same in your

position. Fine. We go first. Can't loer.

>> See you on the other side of the wire.

PF.

>> See you on the other side of the wire.

Henry.

Take

It'll do.

>> You know, I never really feel I know

you, Izzy.

>> Of course you don't.

I hide behind the racial stereotype.

>> I beg your pardon?

>> A little Jewish tor always says already.

Already already.

So, who knows the real me?

>> Nobody.

>> So, it's easier to get through the wall.

>> Gosh, it's a jolly clever weed.

Wish I thought of becoming a stereotype

Englishman than nobody have known the

real me.

>> Right, that's the last of the Germans

gone.

>> Lust of the crowd's gone through,

Gladies.

>> Please, they're going to help us get out

of Germany. I really don't think you

should call them crouchs, especially

behind their backs. Manners are

important, as you'd know, if you'd

>> as I'd known if I'd gone to public

school.

>> But I big if there are times I hope I

never set eyes on you again.

>> Well, I don't think you will. We're

hardly likely to move in the same social

circles, are we? Shortly, why don't you

be first?

>> Oh, thank you.

>> Hang on a minute, everybody.

>> Oh, what is it now? Prof. Another

lecture on logic. Einstein had an idea

and I think it's a very interesting one.

Tell them, Einstein.

>> Thank you.

Well, it's this really. It's awfully

peaceful without the Germans. Why don't

we just stay?

>> Where are you?

>> Has something gone wrong?

Einstein, I'm ashamed of you. Your

parents would be turning in their graves

if they weren't still alive.

>> Well, it it would be quite pleasant

without them here.

>> Quite pleasant? Quite pleasant?

One has to make allowances for you.

You're not British. But Prof, I'm

surprised at you. You're an intelligent

man. How could you take this nonsense

seriously?

>> It would have enormous advantages,

>> such as

>> none of us would die.

>> Shorty, what do you say?

Will I like day in or not day in?

>> Will there be no lights out? No

stretches in the cooler. It

>> would be an awful shame to miss the

asparagus.

>> Asparagus?

Asparagus?

>> It's lovely hot with melted butter.

>> I prefer it cold with a good vinegrett.

>> Yum, yum,

>> yum, yum.

Gentlemen,

what's happened to the bulldog spirit?

What is happening? Where are you? BF,

what is going on?

>> Oh, come on, chaps. It is a prisoner's

duty to escape.

>> But there aren't any guards anymore, so

we aren't prisoners anymore.

>> Chump, can you help me out?

>> You are appealing to me for help.

>> Oh, please. No sarcasm. Perhaps I'm

tired. I just don't seem to have it in

me to persuade these fellows anymore.

You're young, energetic. The stage is

yours. Prove to us that grammar schools

can turn out leaders.

>> I'm sorry, Big F. There's a time for

heroes. And maybe this isn't it. So, we

break out. What happens? Even with the

help of all them Jerry's out there, a

lot of us will be picked up before we

reach the frontier. Shot, maybe.

Certainly imprisoned. And those of us

who do make it back to Blighty will find

their wives in bed with other men. Think

they'll shoot those men right in the

guts. End up in Dartmore.

And how many of us will fight again? Eh,

one, two. Is it worth it when the allies

are already beginning to win the war

without us?

I hope we stay.

>> Oh, ch.

I am coming back to find out what is

going on.

>> The common dancean's leading them back

through the tunnels. Chump. Get gladis

blocked off. I'm going down Julian. We

will stop.

>> Come on. This way. Jacks. After them.

Stop him. Hooray.

>> Careful, sir. I don't want to lose you.

>> Risk. I have to take part.

>> What are you going to do?

>> Create a roof, Thor.

>> Well, what else can I do?

>> Well, you be careful, Chad. It'd be a

bit of a bind if you bought it now.

Christmas.

Hey, Commander

Big, you all right? Thank God. Get

behind me here.

Devil

Wind.

I see bit him.

Jump.

Jump.

Come on a champ.

>> Let's get into him.

I'm going to have to go and talk to him.

>> I trusted you.

I thought you were an English gentleman.

>> You should beware of racial stereotypes.

>> Julian,

>> come on. You'll never do it. There's

three times as many of us. We're crack

airman. You're rebel leftovers. The

drinks. If a German lorry or the SS turn

up now, how will you explain what you're

doing outside?

>> Good point.

in the mouth.

Fore! Foreign! Foreign!

I came back to wish you luck.

>> That's extraordinarily generous of you

under the circumstances, Henrik.

>> No, it is realism. Our fortunes are

linked to yours. If you are not found

out and nobody will know that we have

escaped. If you are found out, then

Vivvil becomes the hunted.

Well, I wish you luck, too.

>> Thank you.

>> Because if you are caught, then we're

for it.

>> We will not be caught. We speak good

German. We have correct papers. We can

be thousands of miles away on leaf in

neutral countries. If you are not

caught,

>> I also wish you luck, Henrik,

because I like you.

>> Thank you, Big F.

I like you, too.

Please

call me F.

>> Thank you.

I hope we meet again in happier times.

F. Yes.

Look, if this silly business ever ends,

which of course it will, and you happen

to find yourself in the vicinity of

Waybridge, do look in number 33 Bagshot

Road.

>> Thank you. I'm going to turn these

lights out. Don't look normal.

>> Yes, good uh good thinking, Chum.

>> Look, I I I do mean that. I I know uh

vague invitations when you don't give a

date are often insincere, but it's just

that I can't give you a firm date

because I don't know when this damn war

is going to end. But I do mean it. Not a

great man with an oven, but I can turn

out an acceptable roast dinner.

>> Thank you.

Well,

I Zane Fain

Henrik

You were bang on with that lorry chump.

And that was a very clever remark you

made back there at the gate earlier.

You're

>> a New Zealander, you mean?

>> Why the hell did you do that?

>> In German, always in German.

>> We don't need that now. We're all

allies.

>> Far from it. Supplies will be arriving.

There'll be telephone calls,

inspections. Everything will have to

seem just as it was when Jerry was here.

So that means precisely.

We're going to need bags of Jerry's.

Jerry's to run the camp. Jerry's to

answer the phone. Jerry's to to run the

cook house. Jerry's to accept supplies.

I'd estimate that we're going to need at

least a hundred of us turning into

Jerry's overnight.

>> God in him.

>> Well done, Shorty. You just volunteered.

By tomorrow morning, if a laundry van

arrives, delivery van, whatever,

everything must be absolutely normal.

Place must be stiff with German guard.

>> May I just say, bigger, since I know you

weren't in favor of this particular

course of action, and must we admire the

wholeheartedness in which you're

throwing yourself into this operation.

>> No, Chump, you may not. There isn't

time. But thank you. Well, I'm a

realist. I face facts. The past is dead

and gone.

>> How true.

Now, does anybody have any ideas where

we're going to find 100 Germans?

>> First of all, everyone who speaks

German.

>> Sounds reasonable.

>> All those have my German uniform for

already.

>> Good thinking.

>> Ah, but do we know how many of the men

who have German uniforms speak German?

>> That's a very good point. Sean, we must

find out.

>> How many of you speak German?

Good. Thank you. Put your hands down.

How come 17 of you say you understand

German, but then when I ask you how many

of you speak German in German, only four

of you put your hands up? Come on,

chaps. I don't want lies. I don't want

wishful thinking. How many of you can

really speak German?

>> Oh, yes, I can count.

Oh, God.

Sir, if any Germans turn up at the camp

tomorrow, they'll find four men in

German uniforms who can actually speak

German.

>> Perhaps we should find out how many of

those who don't have German uniforms

speak German.

Quiet, please. Quiet.

>> Nine.

>> I can count.

Nine.

>> Daddy. Hell. Easy.

>> How quickly can you get me nine German

uniforms made

>> for you? 6 days.

>> Two days.

>> Four days.

>> Done.

It is possible that some of the German

uniforms I've made for prisoners who

don't speak German already, you might

fit some of the nine German speakers who

don't have German uniforms already.

>> I'll see what I can do

>> right now. I'm going to become the camp

common.

>> Oh, surprise surprise. Yes. I'll pretend

you didn't say that, chump, to spare you

the shame you'll feel when you recall

that you did say it. I don't want the

job. I don't want to be a German. I'd

like your job.

>> My job?

>> You're going to be the unofficial leader

of the prisoners. You will be known as

Big C.

>> Thank you, bigger. Untouched.

>> Don't be a chump, chump. You're the

obvious man.

>> Well, I get some escape plans drawn up

straight away.

>> Escape plans? You didn't need to escape

now, you chump.

>> Well, I got to do something. It's a

little question of what we at Putty

Grammar School would call style. is

well. There's no time for style now.

We've got work to do.

>> Do you have a German uniform that fits

bigger?

>> Good thinking, Prof. No, I don't. I

must. How soon can you make me one? Is

he

>> for you? 12:00 this morning.

>> 6:00.

>> 9:00.

>> Done. Off you go then. Get away.

>> He's gone already.

>> Yes, I see.

Right now, we're going to have to teach

a lot more men German pretty damn quick.

Who should do that, do you think,

Shorty?

>> Honor. No.

>> Hey, help. Another casualty of the war.

>> Now you

better pull your finger out, young bird.

Try this now. Never in the field of

human conflict. So much been owned by so

many to few.

>> Hi, little.

>> Right.

Come along here, you nuts.

>> Stop moving.

>> How can I measure you if you move

I'm not at all happy about your

backside.

Not happy at all.

>> Hello.

Well, check his papers. Find out what

he's bringing. Hold him up as long as

you can. Ring me back when he's gone.

And pray.

>> What's wrong with my backside? It

doesn't fit my trousers.

Hitler.

>> Hitler.

Why can't people be shaped like clones?

Hello.

>> I couldn't hold him any longer.

>> I told him we're all new. I told him the

furas had a new idea. A rotation of

staff.

Yes. I was quite pleased with it. He's

gone to the cook house.

>> Well,

>> oh, and he says Hitler a lot.

>> Does he? I'll sell him my parrot.

>> Big F. Look, he's gone to the cook

house. No one there speaks German. This

isn't any time for your perfectionist

fiddle fley

row.

>> No, it's just that your flies around.

>> Hello. Hi, Hitler. Hitler.

>> Oh, yeah.

Hitler. Hitler.

Uhhuh.

It was good for the English.

Foreign

speech. Foreign speech. Foreign speech.

is

good.

Bington.

Bington.

>> Are you Barington?

>> Do you not know that I am?

>> Well, say here.

>> Can you not see that I'm here?

>> Everything has to look like a normal

German camp. And in a normal German

camp, the prisoners say here. So please

just say here.

>> Nothing well here.

Thank you

>> Barton.

>> Yep. And fully understanding the

necessity for all this palaba unlike

some.

>> Shut up.

>> That's a bit rich. Chap fits in. Does

what he's told gets a rocket. Look, we

have to do things properly. You have to

say here not fully understanding the

necessity for all this palava unlike

some. supposing everybody said fully

understanding the necessity for all this

palava unlike some we'd be here all day

>> the lecture now I thought things would

be fine when the Germans are gone seems

some chaps are getting decidedly edgy

>> shut up

>> who says too edgy

>> blame

stellar sir I stay in mut

we still need More Germans. You two will

become Germans as from 1200 hours. Do

you understand?

>> Y my nothing furer.

>> On second thoughts, I'm not sure I want

you on my side. You can ignore that

order as far as you're concerned. Hegis,

come on. Button.

>> This is utterly unfair. He refuses to

say here and swears. All I do is say

fully understanding the necessity.

>> Shut

up.

Ah, I have to inspect your hut. Well,

>> fair enough. Can I bribe you with a

piece of chocolate? No,

>> you certainly can't. I don't accept

bribes.

>> I have a job to do.

>> Well, the German guards always accepted

bribes.

>> I don't care what the German guards did.

I don't. Besides, I'm absolutely full. I

had a lovely steak for lunch.

>> Steak? We have mints? Minced horse?

>> Actually, I could hardly finish mine.

I'd rather gorge myself on caviar.

Vinegar kilome for

a plin lemon the national himn wales

heist

what's German for my fathers

>> ftherland

>> I like tits best

>> really my legs an ass man Michelle

Great tits, blue tits, cold tits.

>> What did you say?

>> Sorry. I thought you

>> Sorry. I think it's rather horrid to

talk about women like that as if they're

just bodies and not people.

>> Yeah, I suppose you're right. I'm sorry.

>> Talking about women, Einstein, have you

ever, you know,

>> had a girlfriend?

No, I haven't.

Is that what I talk to them about?

>> I've never got the hang of all that

conversation. L

>> stop idling. Haven't you got work to do?

You come here.

>> Come off a B.

>> Look, when I say come here, I mean it.

Hold on, Mr. Stupid.

>> I don't think you'll be calling me

stupid again in a hurry.

>> Message for you. The common can see you

straight away.

Do

>> you think he was just entering into the

spirit of the thing?

>> No, I think he was enjoying his power.

>> Bound to be summer, I suppose.

>> You have a complaint, I believe. Yeah,

Varton just hit me. You want to watch

him, Big F?

>> Thank you. I think I know how to control

my men, Big C.

But that can't be your complaint, can

it? Because you'd asked to see me before

he hit you. So, unless you're psychic,

you could hardly have asked to see me to

complain about that.

>> No, Mr. Grub. You have stakes. Caviar.

>> You are prisoners of war.

>> We're all prisoners of war. And don't

tell me it's a question of style that

you have caviar while we have mints.

Otherwise, I'll say you're up yours, Big

F.

>> Oh, do they will be so stylish. No, it's

a it's a question of necessity, chump. I

find I can go thus far and no further.

There are juries coming into the camp

all the time, and I find I've inherited

certain black market perks which which

are difficult to turn down without

arousing suspicion. I do have to

maintain some authenticity.

Pity really, most of the champs hate

Carrier.

>> What's that you think?

German. Speak German.

>> Yes.

Very good. Ch. Yes.

To kick me quite so hard.

>> Had to maintain some authenticity.

>> You bastard.

>> Hello. Here comeah. Here is funber from

the SS. Hi Hitler.

Hitler.

>> Ah my Yeah. Yeah.

SS inspection tomorrow morning.

>> That's better.

What?

>> The SSL.

>> Sorry, I I still don't understand much

German unless it's spoken very slowly.

Morgan there long

him.

>> You do not say come in in English.

>> And sure they go.

>> Yes. Well, English will do for now.

It'll be quicker. Tell me this. How many

of your students could pass as pucker

Jerry's?

>> Improper conversation. Maybe seven.

>> Oh god.

>> Few words about the weather. Nice day

blah blah blah. Plus a few simple

commands. Maybe another 12.

>> Yes. Unfortunately, we can't guarantee

that the SS will stick to a few words

about the weather. Nice day blah blah

blah. Can we? Damn. So that's your seven

plus our original five plus the nine for

whom Izzy has got uniforms that actually

fit. That makes a total of 21 people

including myself who can safely be

allowed to speak German out of a German

workforce of 112.

>> Some could be off duty out the camp.

Some can be shift workers and asleep

already.

>> Good. Good. Let's say 20 asleep and one

day off in 7. Uh 7 into 112 is 16.

16. Thank you, Prof. 16 + 20 is 36. 36

away from 112.

76.

76. Thank you, Prof.

76 minus the 21 who can speak German

leaves

>> for you. 55

>> 55 55 supposed Germans who can't speak

German. Well, what am I going to do with

them?

>> Lenitis.

55 German soldiers with laryngitis.

Highly convincing. Thank you. Could be

German laryngitis

like German measles

only attacks Germans.

>> Don't be ridiculous. Izzy,

>> one little question about Ali's idea of

which you were so scornful. Big F. Do

you have anything better?

Laritis it is. Oh god.

Awesome.

Dav.

>> Hey, Hitler. Hey, Hitler.

>> You are not tidy. You are a dirty

shrine. You're so right. My sex life is

legendary in parts of Glasgow.

>> Oh, so you are insolent also.

Come with me to the cooler, please.

Please.

>> Come on, move it, you homosexual

Scottish bastard.

Oh,

what is your name?

>> Unfortunately for you, I understand

Polish and I have no intention of

humping a cabbage.

Fore! Foreign! Foreign!

Yeah. Yeah.

See? Hey

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

The best men in the SS.

defend cooker.

This is for

kill.

Yes,

I foreign

Stefan.

Ah,

the government.

Shafts and

go.

We meet again, Hegis.

>> The pleasure is entirely yours.

>> And what do you think of life in the

cooler?

>> It's not too bad.

It was a bit like living in Glasgow.

assist. I'm not vitri.

is

also

down.

Megan and I'm fallen for

I shall speak to you all in English for

the last time. After today, we only

speak English to the prisoners

and we give them a miserable time.

Miserable. Is that understood?

>> You're enjoying this.

>> Come here.

Come here.

How dare you speak to me like that? You

only declared yourself commandant. We

haven't elected you.

>> Elected? Of course you haven't. This

isn't democratic now. We're Germans.

>> And it's turning you nasty. And you're

bad enough when you British.

>> Shut up.

What do you want?

Anarchy?

Do you want to be found out? What do you

imagine the SS would do to prisoners of

war masquerading as Jerry's? Huh? You

can just stick to teaching German. And

incidentally, you can cut out all that

Welsh propaganda, too. If I hear one

more man singing Cardiff, Cardiff EBA

Alice, I'll have your guts for gutters.

You short ass Welsh [ __ ]

You all asked to stay here.

I didn't.

Well, now you've made your bed and you

can eat sauerkraut on it.

You will be nasty at all times and you

will look as if you are enjoying it. Is

that understood?

>> I will enjoy it. The master race was a

brilliant idea. I only wish we'd thought

of it first.

Excuse me. This soup really is

absolutely disgusting.

>> One week in the cooler. March him away.

Mash up

something.

Look, I uh I have no alternative. Have

my orders. Please don't tell your

father.

>> Me

>> here.

>> Ma

>> here.

>> Morrison.

Morrison.

Say here these Morrison.

>> No. This is bloody stupid. We're all on

the same side.

>> Do you realize that if the SS rumble

what's happening will all be shot?

One word is all I ask.

>> No. The SS aren't here now, so it's

bloody stupid.

>> You of all people.

>> Oh yes. A New Zealander leading a

rebellion. What a turnup.

>> Two weeks in the cooler. March him away.

>> Yes. You uh you don't have to enjoy

quite so much. But

>> no,

>> leave them alone.

>> Ch. My men have loaded rifles.

>> You wouldn't order them to shoot me.

>> I might have no alternative.

>> They wouldn't.

>> If they realized that you were seriously

threatening the stability of the

situation, they might have no

alternative.

My god.

Leaked

fire.

I'm

laugh.

Good.

Most

consecutive.

Does this feel better?

Martin is coming.

Better than the cooler, eh? I'll say

makes you appreciate all this. You know,

>> there's a meeting of the escape

committee in half an hour. We'd like to

co-opt you onto it.

>> Mean there are vacancies.

Shorty and Big F have left.

>> Resigned?

>> Not exactly. Now, we haven't told them

about the meeting. It's a secret.

>> Uh-oh.

But why me?

>> We'd value your advice.

Well, I've called this meeting because

things in this camp are getting

absolutely unbearable. And I think

there's only one thing for it.

>> What's that?

We're going to have to escape.

>> Let me get this right. You're suggesting

we escape from our fellow prisoners?

>> That's right. Without telling them. Do

you entirely trust him? Do you trust Big

F?

>> He's hardly in a position to report us

to the SS.

>> But it'd be more fun not telling him.

>> Al is right. My only regret will be we

can't stay to see the bastard's face

when he finds out we're gone.

>> Aren't we condemning all the guards to a

dreadful fate? What'll happen to them

when we've escaped already?

>> Nothing. When they find out we

scarboarded and they know that they

can't report us to anybody, they'll come

too.

>> If they haven't that much sense, they

don't deserve to escape. Prof's right as

usual.

>> So, how do we escape?

>> Dig tunnels.

>> But,

>> well, maybe I'm being stupid, but don't

we already have tunnels?

>> Yes, but Big F knows where they are.

>> But,

>> well, no.

>> Yeah. Go on, Einstein.

>> Well, because you're all clever. I think

you think Big F's clever than he is. But

I don't think any of them would ever be

clever enough to think that we'd even

think of escaping from our allies.

So, I think we should save time and use

the tunnels we've got.

>> I think Erinstein is right.

>> So, do we use all five tunnels or the

two that are only blocked or just the

one?

>> Just the one. It will be quicker to get

ready and easier to guard.

>> All those agreement.

>> Right. First thing tomorrow morning, we

unblock Alley.

>> All Yeah. Well, I didn't really fancy

calling it Julian anymore. And I thought

I'd name it after you cuz well I thought

you were dead brave the way you stood up

to Big F on that roll kill. Anyway, we

know how much it would annoy him.

>> Well, I uh well that that's really uh

Oh, hell. I can't have tears in my eyes.

I'm a New Zealander.

>> Yeah. Well, he's still got all those

civilian uniforms, is he? I'm

>> sure I got them. So why should I destroy

them? So, when did Izzy Leverson ever

destroy good material? So, you tell me.

>> Yeah. Right. Okay. Thanks. Now, we're

going to need somebody to replace Shorty

on documents.

>> I'll do it.

>> Yeah.

Well, sorry to doubt you, but what

qualifications have you got?

>> Well, why do you think I wear glasses

from pouring over documents?

>> What were you a cler?

>> No, a forger.

>> A forger? Do you think New Zealand's too

dull to have criminals? I'm a forger. I

forg my way into the Royal Air Force.

Well, that's good enough for me.

SS

SS

let's inspect you under tunnel.

Apparently

Mitchell based the design on a seed.

water.

Come on.

Springer here.

He thinks you might be trying to escape.

Little does he know.

Fore

like in

eyes. Yeah.

Right. Owie's unblocked.

>> So, when do we go? Einstein, any ideas

on the weather?

>> It'll be overcast a couple of days yet.

>> We could go tomorrow, then.

>> I agree. If we delay, the war could be

over before we escape.

>> So, if the war's ending already, why

don't we just wait? It was meant to be

over before the first Christmas. I won't

believe it's over till it's over.

>> Yeah, we've got to escape. Be careful.

I'll hate.

>> Who agrees we got tomorrow?

>> Chump,

>> do we have anything to say to each

other?

>> Well, I I hope so, Chump. Um, as a

matter of fact, I'm I'm rather churned

up at the moment.

>> Oh, churned up, Big F. Do I?

>> Well, it's the big day tomorrow and it

puts me in rather an odd position.

>> You mean you know?

>> Well, of course I know. I didn't know

you knew.

>> Now, wait a minute. You didn't know I

knew what

>> about my trip to Berlin.

>> Berlin? Whatever for

>> to see the furer. He's giving me the

Iron Cross.

>> The iron? Why?

>> Because nobody has escaped from this

camp since I came here.

I find it funny.

>> Well, I mean, it's a bit ironical.

>> Ironical?

>> Well, a British officer receiving

Germany's top military medal. Big F.

>> Oh, yes. Yes, I can see that it's

ironical. I'm just just surprised that

you can, Big C. That's all.

>> I didn't tell him. What's really

ironical is that just as he's getting

the iron cross because nobody's escaped

from his camp, we'll all be escaping

from his campus.

Pitler

Dav.

>> What are you doing with him?

You've heard of carrier pigeons. Carrier

parrots are one better.

>> He's a carrier parrot.

>> Where's his message? In his head. That's

why they're one better.

Who's a pretty allied Polly then?

>> And escaping through a stall. Help.

Help.

>> Over away with birds.

>> You're a marvel.

>> But what happens if he flies to the

Germans?

>> Oh, he won't.

Have faith.

>> Alice Ruig.

>> Alice Ruhig.

>> What's German for coco?

>> Coco.

Ally,

up on your namesake,

>> right?

Oh, well,

sorry.

It's okay, champs.

for me.

Stop.

You must feel

nothing.

Hello. How you think

me?

earl.

It kind of

good.

Thankfully,

the rest is

absolutely

light.

for

kind of

spo. Don't forget

Who goes there?

>> Don't shoot. We're English.

>> English?

>> We're in the process of escaping from

this camp.

>> Good lord. Congratulations.

Except Well, I I could have saved you

the trouble. I'm about to capture it.

>> Oh, don't worry. Wouldn't have missed it

for the world.

>> It's been fun.

>> Well done. This may sound a silly

question, but did a parrot tell you to

come here?

>> Good lord. A parrot did arrive in our

midst.

>> Harra.

>> Well, no. No, not terribly har. There

wasn't any message. All it said was hire

or Hitler.

>> Oh no.

>> I'm afraid we strangled it.

>> Oh, you didn't.

>> Oh teaches you to hate.

>> Oh, is this man English, too?

>> No, I'm a New Zealander.

>> Ah, bad luck.

>> Oh, no. Not you as well.

>> Right, man. We're going in. Driver,

advance.

Attack.

Avocado dumpst

>> golden apricot.

Butter milk.

My god.

>> Don't shoot.

Hands up. The resistance is useless. We

have you surrounded.

>> Don't shoot. There aren't any Germans in

the camp at all. No Germans. Pull the

other one off. Forward driver.

British.

We're being

>> Don't shoot. I'm Welsh. Peter Piper.

Picked a pack of pickled peppers.

Where's the pack of pickled peppers?

Peter Piper peg. My beast will land.

>> Good lord. Hold your fire, man.

>> It's incredible.

So, where are the Germans?

>> It's a long story.

Manila and finish pizza for Natasha.

Hinri

F.

What brings you to Bur?

Your love. I'm not sure I remember how

to.

Hitler has given me the Iron Cross

because nobody's escaped from the camp.

You make me laugh. My chest hurts.

What? What's happened to you? I thought

you were going to escape easily. Stupid

accident. I had all my papers stolen.

I couldn't go to the authorities. A

commonant who had escaped from his own

camp.

I have lived with the rats. I have

breakfasted in sewers.

You ruined my war.

I'm sorry if it's any consolation. I

feel as if I haven't had a good war

either.

How's my parrot?

>> I'm all thriving. He's had a good war.

>> I'd like to see him again. Tell me, how

how have you survived

by being terrified of dying?

So sorry. You're a good man.

>> No, please don't. Terrible things happen

to good men.

>> You've become a cynic.

>> Are you surprised?

>> Look, how would you like my iron cross?

what she'd love.

>> The honor.

>> No, thank you.

>> Well, I've um I'd better go. I've got

your camp to run.

The irony is I run a harsher regime than

you ever did.

>> Goodbye, honey.

>> Goodbye. F.

I will.

Will what? If I'm ever in the vicinity

of V.

He's

done good.

>> Hello traps. Is this man British too?

No, he's a German commentant.

>> Jump.

Ch.

Ch.

Einstein. Prof.

Shorty. Is he Howie? Speak up for a

chab.

>> You can see he's German. He's got the

iron cross.

>> No. No. Chabs. Play fair.

Come clean. This This just isn't

cricket. Einstein, you're a Price

Editton. Think of your father.

>> My father's a cruel sod.

>> Good effort,

but rather overdone.

>> I'm always cautious about racial

stereotypes.

>> I've never liked. Nothing personal, but

there won't be much room for people like

him in the new classless postwar

Britain.

>> Look, Shorty, my old Welsh friend.

Howie, my old Kiwi mucker. Hey,

Izzy. Izzy, I can help you. I know a

committee member of the Finchley Golf

Club.

>> Chabs. Chabs. There's one foolproof way

to find out. Never fails.

>> Look, look. There's been a terrible

misunderst

to

eyes.

stuck anywhere.

Heat.

Heat.