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1
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Is that all you've got?
2
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That's all they had.
3
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Herb, that's not enough.
4
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Quit your nagging.
5
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We've done this a hundred times.
6
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Not by ourselves.
7
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We should have sold when they came out.
We're not selling.
8
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My family's defended this property for
generations. I'm not going to be the
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first Gruber to leave.
10
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Take the damn stake, Mabel.
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Maybe we'll take the state. We don't
know what's coming out of that thing,
12
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remember? I called them back.
13
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They're coming in the morning.
14
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You did what now? We're old. I'm tired.
15
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I want to enjoy my final years in peace.
16
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I am not selling my property to no
cookie -cutter suburban builders.
17
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They offered us $1 .8 million.
18
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Over my cold dead.
19
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Bitch.
20
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:01,480
It's over.
21
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,080
We'll continue this conversation later.
22
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Just gotta make it till morning.
23
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Till morning.
24
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And we'll alternate the style in every
third one for a variety, you know, and
25
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we're going to tear that crop down.
26
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And the best part, we'll build the
clubhouse right here.
27
00:02:42,020 --> 00:02:44,620
Now we just got to convince that old
geezer to sell.
28
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,880
I schmoozed the wife.
29
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They won't be able to resist the new
offer.
30
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You are going to make one hell of an HOA
president, you know that?
31
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Thank you.
32
00:03:49,420 --> 00:03:50,420
We'll fail.
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00:03:57,340 --> 00:03:58,940
You're going to want to keep the trunk.
34
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Does this look center?
35
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,820
Yeah, looks great.
36
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:29,840
I like it. It reminds me of the view
from the apartment.
37
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,240
Now we just need to play a bunch of
gunshot and siren sounds and it'll be
38
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we never left.
39
00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:39,440
Hey, I found this awesome running route.
This place is going to be perfect for
40
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,440
my long runs.
41
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:41,500
What's the letter?
42
00:05:41,660 --> 00:05:43,860
Oh, this is from the HOA.
43
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,660
Actually, I think it's a welcome to the
neighborhood letter.
44
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Or a fine.
45
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:51,360
Oh. Please don't start. I'm just saying,
we haven't even been here a few days
46
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and we're already getting letters. Come
on, these people are super chill, all
47
00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:57,760
right? That HOA president, he was so
cool.
48
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:01,800
Oh, you mean the president of the HOA,
which you conveniently forgot to tell me
49
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,020
about? Oh, so we're still mad about
that, huh?
50
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:09,240
It's just that we love this house so
much. Yeah, not enough to put up with an
51
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:14,800
HOA, Lucas. I know, I know, I know, but
I promise you that this HOA is not going
52
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,560
to be a big deal. It's 500 bucks a
month.
53
00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:19,010
They're building a pool?
54
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,590
Hey, I did this from a place of love.
55
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Okay? You wanted a house?
56
00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:26,910
Ta -da! We have a house!
57
00:06:27,550 --> 00:06:31,590
Look at these windows! Look at these
windows! Those are our windows. We own
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those windows.
59
00:06:32,430 --> 00:06:33,430
And this ceiling?
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00:06:33,590 --> 00:06:35,150
We own this motherfucking ceiling!
61
00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:39,090
We own that ceiling! We can fuck up that
ceiling if we want to. And that tree
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00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:39,809
out front?
63
00:06:39,810 --> 00:06:45,910
That is our tree. And we can build a rad
-ass tree house if we want. If the HOA
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00:06:45,910 --> 00:06:46,569
lets us.
65
00:06:46,570 --> 00:06:48,680
Yes. just as soon as it gets approved.
66
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:49,960
Hey, come on.
67
00:06:50,340 --> 00:06:51,440
This is amazing.
68
00:06:51,780 --> 00:06:52,780
We're homeowners.
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This is what we wanted.
70
00:06:54,340 --> 00:06:56,880
Okay, yeah, that part is pretty amazing.
71
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:01,080
Oh, my God. You are incredibly sweaty.
72
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:02,600
You're welcome.
73
00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:08,440
Well, let's see what is in here.
Probably a Home Depot gift card. Or a
74
00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:12,060
saying we have the wrong type of grass.
No, it's long fescue, just like everyone
75
00:07:12,060 --> 00:07:14,200
else. Oh, my God, you're one of them.
All right.
76
00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:16,840
Dear Lucas and Jenny, welcome to the
neighborhood.
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00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:19,660
They used our names. That's very
exciting. On behalf of the Gruber Hills
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00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:22,940
community, we'd like to invite you to
our annual Equinox party tonight. You
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00:07:22,940 --> 00:07:25,500
parties. Not with a bunch of stuck -up
HOA members.
80
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:26,759
Try to stay positive.
81
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:33,600
Mm -hmm. Okay? I bet you our neighbors
are... Are you expecting someone?
82
00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:35,700
No.
83
00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:45,780
Lucas. Jerry. Hey, hey. It's good to see
you again.
84
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,080
Settling in okay? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just about unpacked now.
85
00:07:49,380 --> 00:07:51,420
Oh, hi there. I don't believe we've met.
I'm Jerry Klein.
86
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:58,980
That's my bad, Jerry. This is my
beautiful wife, Jenny. Jenny, this is
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00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,840
the president of the HOA.
88
00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:04,080
Oh, so you're the reason the fees are so
high.
89
00:08:04,980 --> 00:08:09,700
Well, it takes a lot to keep this place
in tip -top shape. We know. She was just
90
00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:10,700
joking.
91
00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:12,750
I wasn't. Okay.
92
00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:16,650
I was just stopping by to make sure you
got our invitation for the party
93
00:08:16,650 --> 00:08:20,930
tonight. Oh, uh, yeah. Actually, we just
opened it.
94
00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:24,710
Splendid. So we'll see you at the
clubhouse at seven. Wouldn't miss it.
95
00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:27,050
You're being rude. We can't wait. Good.
96
00:08:27,470 --> 00:08:31,630
It's a great party. You could say it's
to die for.
97
00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:36,630
Why the fuck would you say it like that?
Okay, see you tonight.
98
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,580
There's no need to be mean, all right?
What was I supposed to say? He was
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00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:44,580
standing right there.
100
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,080
You should have said we were tired from
the move.
101
00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:49,900
Okay, yeah, that would have been better.
But hey, on the plus side, we get to
102
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:50,900
meet our new neighbors.
103
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:57,360
Huh? Oh, come on. They named the
clubhouse Fort Gruber. Yeah, isn't it
104
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:58,500
mean, every club needs a fort.
105
00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:00,500
An HOA is not a club.
106
00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:01,519
I disagree.
107
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:02,960
And stop being such a negative Nancy.
108
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:04,740
They better have alcohol.
109
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,380
Yeah, I wouldn't count on it.
110
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:13,979
Is this a cult?
111
00:09:13,980 --> 00:09:15,900
Come on. No, it's not a cult.
112
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,260
That is strange, though.
113
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,560
Not strange?
114
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,660
You haven't begun to see strange.
115
00:09:26,580 --> 00:09:29,660
Stop it, Ted. He likes to mess with the
new neighbors.
116
00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:33,960
I'm Ted, and this is my lovely wife,
Annette.
117
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,260
Guessing you guys just moved in.
118
00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:39,700
Yeah, yesterday, actually. Oh, fresh
meat.
119
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,720
Welcome to the Equinox.
120
00:09:44,910 --> 00:09:49,310
Yeah, uh, what is an equinox? Oh, I
actually know this one. That is when the
121
00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:52,230
crosses the celestial equator and day
and night are the exact same length.
122
00:09:52,570 --> 00:09:56,170
Aw, that's a bright one. Thank you, I am
very good at Googling.
123
00:09:56,370 --> 00:09:57,370
And completely wrong.
124
00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:58,950
I got this one, son.
125
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:00,950
The equinox is a legend.
126
00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:05,410
Long ago, folks that lived around this
area, well, they had a rather peculiar
127
00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:11,710
problem. You see, once a year, this
portal from hell would open up and
128
00:10:11,710 --> 00:10:14,070
of all sorts would come rushing out.
129
00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:16,400
bloodthirsty, ready to kill.
130
00:10:17,420 --> 00:10:21,800
So the community, they built a fort on
this very ground.
131
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:26,200
And within that fort, they fought off
those monsters and saved this land.
132
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:29,760
Right.
133
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,320
Oh, and now we get drunk and celebrate.
134
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,220
Did she say get drunk? Yes.
135
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:38,720
You want to try some of my homemade
moonshine? It's apple pie flavor.
136
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,000
Okay. Okay.
137
00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:46,120
So, hey, what is this equinox, really?
138
00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:48,940
You know how to shoot.
139
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:51,300
Excuse me?
140
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,760
You can always tell which neighbors are
going to laugh.
141
00:10:55,540 --> 00:10:56,540
Good luck, son.
142
00:10:58,660 --> 00:10:59,660
Cool.
143
00:11:02,540 --> 00:11:03,820
You okay, baby?
144
00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:05,180
So strong.
145
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,400
It's okay.
146
00:11:06,740 --> 00:11:07,740
It's so good.
147
00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:09,100
Okay, baby, keep drinking.
148
00:11:14,910 --> 00:11:19,070
Holy shit, that moonshine is so strong.
My throat's on fire.
149
00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:20,690
Good to see you, Marcus.
150
00:11:21,370 --> 00:11:23,430
Leslie, thank you again for bringing the
cheese sticks.
151
00:11:23,670 --> 00:11:24,509
They're a hit.
152
00:11:24,510 --> 00:11:26,170
There's muscle relaxers in them.
153
00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:28,390
Leslie, you're hilarious.
154
00:11:29,190 --> 00:11:31,690
Okay, thank you all for coming to this
year's Equinox.
155
00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:36,330
Before we get into the nitty -gritty, I
just want to go over a little bit of
156
00:11:36,330 --> 00:11:40,310
housecleaning. Marcus, you did not
request a permit for your bird feeder.
157
00:11:40,650 --> 00:11:43,850
It has to go. But this is your second
HOA violation.
158
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:48,920
If you get to three, let's just try and
not let that happen. Well, they are
159
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:49,920
strict around here.
160
00:11:50,020 --> 00:11:51,020
I think I'm shit -faced.
161
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,660
Next, I wanted to let you all know we're
beginning construction on the pool next
162
00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:55,760
month. Fuck yeah!
163
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,180
Language. Sorry.
164
00:11:57,380 --> 00:12:00,300
And finally, we have some new neighbors.
Everyone, please welcome Lucas and
165
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,300
Jenny.
166
00:12:04,180 --> 00:12:07,000
This is their first Equinox party, so
let's hope they survive.
167
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:08,640
What? I'm sorry, what?
168
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,240
All right, everyone, let's get into it.
169
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,280
So based on last year, we know we can
expect a few of the regulars. Oh, Lucas,
170
00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:22,660
if you have any questions, feel free to
just ask. Oh, actually, yeah, I've... As
171
00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:25,020
I was saying, we can definitely expect a
horde of witches.
172
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,600
You guys know the drill.
173
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,800
Magic can't stop bullets.
174
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:33,980
That's right. Magic can't stop bullets.
So if you see witches, bang, bang.
175
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,580
All right, what do we have here?
176
00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:37,840
Ah, yes, the werewolf.
177
00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:42,800
The price of silver went up this year.
Damn it. So we only have a limited
178
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:43,579
of bullets.
179
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:46,520
I made the executive decision to hand
those to McScruffy. Who?
180
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:50,120
McScruffy. He's a legend around here.
Super hairy.
181
00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:51,340
Awesome as fuck.
182
00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:56,080
As always, special items will be located
in the trunk. Who wants to be in charge
183
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:56,779
this year?
184
00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:57,960
Oh, he does.
185
00:12:58,180 --> 00:13:01,980
What? No. Lucas, way to step up to the
challenge. I'll go over the logistics
186
00:13:01,980 --> 00:13:03,100
with you later. Great.
187
00:13:03,420 --> 00:13:05,120
Can't wait. All right, back to the
board.
188
00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:06,740
And then there's this one.
189
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,820
Evil. In its purest form.
190
00:13:15,310 --> 00:13:16,310
The Stickman.
191
00:13:17,410 --> 00:13:18,410
Oh, shit.
192
00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:22,270
As far as we know, this is the leader of
the Dark Army.
193
00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:24,330
If you see him, run.
194
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:28,610
No one has ever survived an encounter
with the Stickman.
195
00:13:31,090 --> 00:13:33,990
And there's always some new weird
monsters, so we never really know what
196
00:13:33,990 --> 00:13:34,609
going to get.
197
00:13:34,610 --> 00:13:36,330
All right, who's ready for the raffle?
198
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:38,710
Okay, maybe we should go.
199
00:13:38,970 --> 00:13:42,470
But the raffle! Yeah, but did you see
his drawings? This is fucking weird.
200
00:13:42,590 --> 00:13:43,509
Whatever.
201
00:13:43,510 --> 00:13:46,740
Annette. Shot. Oh, everybody.
202
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:49,740
Jenny, Jenny, no, no, wait.
203
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,560
17. Who had 17?
204
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:02,680
Here.
205
00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:07,620
Congratulations. You've won this rolling
yard sprayer. And that leaves the
206
00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:10,380
shotgun. Who will the lucky winner be?
207
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,060
Number two.
208
00:14:13,850 --> 00:14:15,150
Who's got number two?
209
00:14:18,430 --> 00:14:20,150
Lucas, come on up here.
210
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,810
Woo! That's my baby.
211
00:14:32,990 --> 00:14:33,990
Congratulations.
212
00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:36,130
This might just save your life.
213
00:14:36,430 --> 00:14:38,250
Um, thank you.
214
00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:43,380
You can go back now. Great, thank you.
Sorry.
215
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:49,040
Okay, everyone, we have about 30 minutes
till the portal opens. Relax, go grab a
216
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,000
snack, and be sure to use the restroom.
217
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:55,620
We don't want any accidents again this
year, do we, Ted? It was one time.
218
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,780
He shit himself two years ago.
219
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:04,480
Oh, you are a lucky son of a bitch.
220
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,260
I wanted that shotgun so bad.
221
00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:12,780
It's Lucas, right? Yes, that is my name.
You want a treat?
222
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,260
I got a big -ass ranch.
223
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:16,480
Don't listen to him.
224
00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:17,960
You keep your gun, honey.
225
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:22,060
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let the man think for
himself, Les. Don't call me Les.
226
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:23,460
Would you like it if I called you more?
227
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:24,720
Jenny.
228
00:15:26,140 --> 00:15:29,520
Listen, this is your first Equinox, so
I'm going to help you out.
229
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,900
I'm about to go into the bathroom and
snort cocaine.
230
00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:35,560
You want to come with? It'll help take
the edge off.
231
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:38,940
No, I think I'm good.
232
00:15:39,260 --> 00:15:43,540
Pussy. I'll not coke with you then. Shut
the fuck up, Mar. Are you sure? Yeah,
233
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:44,920
I'm not really a big cocaine guy.
234
00:15:45,140 --> 00:15:46,139
Well, I got other shit.
235
00:15:46,140 --> 00:15:47,140
Meth. You a meth guy?
236
00:15:47,940 --> 00:15:48,940
No. Cat.
237
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,560
Shrooms. Acid.
238
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:51,739
What's happening?
239
00:15:51,740 --> 00:15:53,800
Crack. Weed. Even more cocaine.
240
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,100
Screen cleaner.
241
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,200
I actually smoked nutmeg with my cousin
once.
242
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:10,550
It is.
243
00:16:13,110 --> 00:16:15,870
You're not going to live. So good luck
tonight, virgin.
244
00:16:16,370 --> 00:16:17,370
Actually,
245
00:16:17,630 --> 00:16:18,650
I'm not a virgin. You're a virgin.
246
00:16:19,130 --> 00:16:20,130
God damn it.
247
00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:24,830
You're a full -on suburban man now.
Jesus Christ, Jerry. You scared the shit
248
00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:25,369
of me.
249
00:16:25,370 --> 00:16:28,110
Language. Right. I am so sorry.
250
00:16:30,510 --> 00:16:31,510
Abandoning the city.
251
00:16:31,770 --> 00:16:32,870
Moving to the suburbs.
252
00:16:33,490 --> 00:16:34,490
Settling down.
253
00:16:35,090 --> 00:16:36,090
Big stuff.
254
00:16:36,810 --> 00:16:41,170
Felt like time. The city was great for
our 20s, but, you know, felt like I was
255
00:16:41,170 --> 00:16:42,570
ready for the next phase.
256
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:47,330
And, uh, Jenny, you think she's ready
for that next phase?
257
00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:50,890
Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, she's a
little standoffish today, but she'll
258
00:16:50,890 --> 00:16:53,270
around. She's got this crazy idea that
HOAs are evil.
259
00:16:55,130 --> 00:16:56,130
Evil?
260
00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:58,610
We're not evil. We fight evil.
261
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,620
Right about that.
262
00:17:00,860 --> 00:17:01,819
Oh, yes, the trunk.
263
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:04,500
Depending on the monster, I'll tell you
which weapon is most effective.
264
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:07,000
You get it from the trunk and get it to
McScruffy.
265
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,200
Capisce?
266
00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:16,079
Okay, so this is... Is this like a joke
or something? Like a mess with the new
267
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:17,079
neighbors kind of thing?
268
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:18,539
What do you mean?
269
00:17:18,540 --> 00:17:20,599
Jerry, you need to take a look at this.
270
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,960
There's something moving out there.
271
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:25,579
Nonsense. We should still have 15
minutes.
272
00:17:26,319 --> 00:17:27,319
I'll be right back.
273
00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:28,540
Try the cheese sticks.
274
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,240
They're killer.
275
00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:41,580
You know, Annette, I gotta tell you, I
wasn't looking forward to this party,
276
00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:43,240
you have changed my mind.
277
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:49,400
And I don't want to change it, but this
HOA might not be so bad. I'm sorry, did
278
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,400
I hear that correctly?
279
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,080
Don't tell anyone.
280
00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:54,300
God, I don't think tonight could get any
weirder.
281
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:00,560
It's early!
282
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,000
Physicians! Hurry!
283
00:18:07,340 --> 00:18:11,800
Fuck, fuck, fuck! This is the biggest
one I've ever seen! Shut the fuck up,
284
00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:16,300
Get the safety off that thing, you
little shit! It's fucking go time!
285
00:18:16,580 --> 00:18:19,160
Where the hell is McScruffy? He'll be
here.
286
00:18:22,540 --> 00:18:23,580
Come on, you two.
287
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:24,920
To the window.
288
00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:26,700
The window?
289
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:31,600
Okay?
290
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,720
Where the hell is McScruffy?
291
00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:21,640
out of here now there's only one thing
we can
292
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:25,960
do we have
293
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:30,460
50
294
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:36,340
births
295
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,840
to the equinox. Please don't die.
296
00:22:00,379 --> 00:22:01,379
Servant.
297
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:06,420
What just happened?
298
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:07,740
Thank God you showed up.
299
00:22:08,740 --> 00:22:11,000
We couldn't have done it without you,
Scruff.
300
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,000
What the actual fuck?
301
00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:21,360
You better toughen up, sport. That was
just the beginning. The beginning?
302
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,540
He won it in the raffle.
303
00:22:34,820 --> 00:22:35,820
The raffle?
304
00:22:35,900 --> 00:22:36,920
Don't worry, I'm a nurse.
305
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,360
It's not that bad. It's just a graze.
306
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,140
I need something to wrap it with.
307
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:44,400
Just breathe.
308
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,160
This is going to hurt.
309
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,060
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
310
00:22:49,260 --> 00:22:50,260
What the hell, Lucas?
311
00:22:50,380 --> 00:22:51,500
What the hell, Lucas?
312
00:22:51,820 --> 00:22:56,040
No, no, look, it was an accident, man.
It just, and it went off. Well, maybe if
313
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:59,360
you'd been over at the window helping
us, this might not have happened. What
314
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:03,410
you? No, no, no, I am sorry. that I shot
you, Mick Shatner. I'm sorry.
315
00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:05,870
Someone needs to tell me what the fuck
is going on here.
316
00:23:06,230 --> 00:23:10,870
Okay, because there are guts and shit
all over my face and we're those fucking
317
00:23:10,870 --> 00:23:13,010
witches. Those fucking witches.
318
00:23:14,030 --> 00:23:15,910
I can't breathe. It's okay, Dad.
319
00:23:16,150 --> 00:23:17,150
I can't breathe.
320
00:23:19,610 --> 00:23:20,610
Calm down.
321
00:23:21,090 --> 00:23:22,090
Just breathe.
322
00:23:22,850 --> 00:23:23,850
You're okay.
323
00:23:24,230 --> 00:23:25,230
It's fine.
324
00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:30,190
See? Everything is gravy.
325
00:23:33,420 --> 00:23:35,620
Ooh, you got a little bit of someone's
brain in there.
326
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,680
Whoa, whoa, easy. You're fine. Just
breathe.
327
00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:45,600
Now, what are we confused about?
328
00:23:47,620 --> 00:23:48,620
Everything.
329
00:23:49,380 --> 00:23:51,120
You've heard the legend of this place,
right?
330
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:54,240
Yeah, Ted mentioned some stuff.
331
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:58,620
Well, once a year that portal opens up
and we've got to kill whatever comes out
332
00:23:58,620 --> 00:23:59,880
of it or they'll destroy the
neighborhood.
333
00:24:00,540 --> 00:24:01,900
Pretty standard HOA stuff.
334
00:24:04,010 --> 00:24:06,710
That's why the fees are so high. Gotta
pay for bullets and shit.
335
00:24:08,430 --> 00:24:11,470
Honestly, half the money goes into
fixing this place up every year.
336
00:24:13,190 --> 00:24:14,190
That clear things up?
337
00:24:14,730 --> 00:24:17,310
No! Why would anyone want to live here?
338
00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:19,310
We're getting a pool.
339
00:24:19,550 --> 00:24:21,390
That dude exploded on me.
340
00:24:21,670 --> 00:24:24,970
Okay, to be fair, people typically don't
die. McScruffy was late, the portal
341
00:24:24,970 --> 00:24:27,110
opened early. Just one of those years.
342
00:24:27,810 --> 00:24:28,810
You're crazy.
343
00:24:28,870 --> 00:24:31,010
You're all fucking crazy.
344
00:24:31,410 --> 00:24:32,990
Jenny, hey, Jenny, come on.
345
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,240
Let's get out of here.
346
00:24:34,420 --> 00:24:35,259
It's okay.
347
00:24:35,260 --> 00:24:36,300
Jenny, come on.
348
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,700
Right now. We should stay. They need our
help. Our help?
349
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:41,140
There's always one.
350
00:24:41,780 --> 00:24:44,020
Some people just can't handle it. We'll
see.
351
00:24:44,940 --> 00:24:48,120
Clearly, they don't want my help. Fuck
off, city boy.
352
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,080
I need your help.
353
00:24:52,980 --> 00:24:54,780
Besides, you're in charge of the trunk.
354
00:24:55,060 --> 00:24:59,020
Actually, that reminds me. I need to run
you through some of the logistics.
355
00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:01,400
Hey, you okay, buddy? Yeah.
356
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:03,179
I'm fine.
357
00:25:03,180 --> 00:25:04,180
Oh,
358
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:10,100
my body feels so heavy, but kind of
nice.
359
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,319
Are you sick?
360
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:12,340
Have you had enough water?
361
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,680
Gallon a day, bitch. Don't call me that.
Sorry.
362
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,320
Okay, so is it your blood sugar? Have
you eaten?
363
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:20,440
I had like seven cheese sticks.
364
00:25:21,540 --> 00:25:22,540
You did what?
365
00:25:22,700 --> 00:25:26,320
I had seven cheese sticks. You ate seven
of them? Maybe eight.
366
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,040
Oh, he's fucked. Why?
367
00:25:28,340 --> 00:25:29,500
What's wrong with the cheese sticks?
368
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,980
Well, it's only supposed to be one per
person.
369
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:33,379
Why that?
370
00:25:33,380 --> 00:25:35,720
I told you. There's muscle relaxers in
them.
371
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,140
Why the fuck do the cheese sticks have
muscle relaxers in them?
372
00:25:39,820 --> 00:25:43,960
Well, helps take the edgy off. Yeah, I
don't think you know what that means. My
373
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,260
body feels like a cloud.
374
00:25:48,940 --> 00:25:50,220
Shit, we have movement.
375
00:25:50,980 --> 00:25:54,980
Oh, come on. Help me. Can I shoot
anybody this time, Lucas?
376
00:25:56,340 --> 00:25:58,280
Come on. Oh, boy.
377
00:25:59,900 --> 00:26:00,900
Here we go.
378
00:26:04,810 --> 00:26:05,810
Okay. Okay.
379
00:26:06,570 --> 00:26:07,570
Okay.
380
00:26:08,010 --> 00:26:10,650
Oh, shit. No, it's fine. I can see this
way.
381
00:26:10,990 --> 00:26:13,850
Stay with me. Stay with me. Hey, he's
losing too much blood.
382
00:26:14,150 --> 00:26:15,150
What? What's happening?
383
00:26:15,470 --> 00:26:17,430
You keep an eye out the window.
384
00:26:19,090 --> 00:26:21,630
Come on, Scruffy. Come on, buddy.
385
00:26:22,150 --> 00:26:23,650
Don't back out. Come on.
386
00:26:24,290 --> 00:26:28,170
Rosers. Is he still breathing? He's
still breathing. He's just not...
387
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:37,680
And keep an eye on the portal.
388
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,460
Something just rose out of the portal.
389
00:26:58,840 --> 00:26:59,840
Describe it!
390
00:27:00,060 --> 00:27:04,080
It's three floating silver orbs. Orbs?
391
00:27:04,590 --> 00:27:07,530
Yeah, I don't know, man. It just looks
like gray circles.
392
00:27:08,030 --> 00:27:09,130
Come through, spirit.
393
00:27:09,550 --> 00:27:10,550
Everyone, stop!
394
00:27:18,030 --> 00:27:19,650
Come on.
395
00:27:21,790 --> 00:27:23,530
Yo, Bert, you cool, man?
396
00:27:27,550 --> 00:27:31,670
Everyone, I need you to listen to me
very carefully.
397
00:27:36,740 --> 00:27:40,980
Listen, whatever you do, do not let them
bite you. What?
398
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:49,160
Stay calm.
399
00:27:49,540 --> 00:27:53,900
Lucas, I need you to go into the trunk
and get the peach wood sword.
400
00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:58,640
Lucas!
401
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:02,120
Lucas!
402
00:28:03,660 --> 00:28:04,940
Fuck this shit, man.
403
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:16,860
Jet, Jenny, grab Jerry and get to the
closet.
404
00:31:16,970 --> 00:31:17,970
Set me up, please.
405
00:31:22,130 --> 00:31:23,130
Is he still breathing?
406
00:31:24,110 --> 00:31:25,110
Yeah.
407
00:31:25,170 --> 00:31:27,050
Yeah, it's slow, though. Ted, we need to
hurry.
408
00:31:27,270 --> 00:31:30,330
Yes, hi, hi, I'm at the Gruber Hills
Clubhouse. There's been an attack and
409
00:31:30,330 --> 00:31:31,670
Hello?
410
00:31:33,570 --> 00:31:34,610
Hello? Fuck!
411
00:31:36,990 --> 00:31:38,950
Hi, hello, yeah, this is Gruber Hills
Clubhouse.
412
00:31:39,210 --> 00:31:41,790
It won't work. Yeah, they keep hanging
up on me.
413
00:31:43,190 --> 00:31:44,590
What the fuck? Give me that.
414
00:31:44,810 --> 00:31:45,810
It won't work.
415
00:31:46,190 --> 00:31:48,610
police don't come here. What do you mean
the police don't come here?
416
00:31:48,950 --> 00:31:51,550
Did you not read anything in your HOA
contract?
417
00:31:51,790 --> 00:31:52,790
What? The contract?
418
00:31:53,250 --> 00:31:56,970
I skimmed it. Lord help me.
419
00:31:57,410 --> 00:32:01,670
I'm about to fuck this boy up. Calm
down, Teddy. Don't get too worked up.
420
00:32:02,150 --> 00:32:03,650
Remember, you're IBS.
421
00:32:05,230 --> 00:32:08,530
Baby, it's all his fault. No, my fault.
Fuck you.
422
00:32:08,830 --> 00:32:12,610
This is not my fault. Okay, you guys are
the ones hiding this fucking monster
423
00:32:12,610 --> 00:32:15,230
mash. To be fair, it was all in the HOA
contract.
424
00:32:15,610 --> 00:32:17,060
Yes, you Contract!
425
00:32:17,580 --> 00:32:18,800
Shut your fucking mouth!
426
00:32:21,180 --> 00:32:24,760
Those people are all dead because of
you.
427
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:29,440
Okay,
428
00:32:30,540 --> 00:32:37,460
that
429
00:32:37,460 --> 00:32:41,220
was a little harsh. It was an accident.
Everyone knows the risks of living here.
430
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,000
Anyway, we don't have time to argue.
Okay.
431
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:47,120
Why don't the cops come here? It's a
long answer. And fully outlined in the
432
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,300
contract. Yes, thank you, Ted.
433
00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:50,680
Super summarized version.
434
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,020
The government originally tried to get
us to leave when they discovered the
435
00:32:53,020 --> 00:32:55,780
portal. But then we worked out a deal
with them to let us stay. So now we're
436
00:32:55,780 --> 00:32:58,380
able to live here, but we're basically
our own mini -county.
437
00:32:58,980 --> 00:33:02,300
And that's why there's no property tax.
Fuck yeah.
438
00:33:02,580 --> 00:33:06,520
Is it worth it with the portal to hell
and all? Well, after the first year we
439
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,260
hired McScruffy, we've only had one
death since.
440
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:11,820
Totally worth it for the cheap -ass
mortgage.
441
00:33:12,580 --> 00:33:16,020
But now we're all gonna die, so maybe it
wasn't.
442
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:17,880
Well, with that attitude, we will.
443
00:33:18,140 --> 00:33:19,140
Sorry, Jared.
444
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:23,840
Back to the issue at hand. As I was
shouting at all of you earlier, the Kung
445
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,320
spirits can only be killed by stabbing
them in the heart with peach wood.
446
00:33:26,540 --> 00:33:29,360
Lucky for us, we have a peach wood sword
in the trunk.
447
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,480
What's peach wood? It's wood from a
peach tree.
448
00:33:31,740 --> 00:33:33,100
Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
449
00:33:33,580 --> 00:33:35,300
Why not oak or pine?
450
00:33:35,540 --> 00:33:38,560
It's old Taoism magic. Oh, my God, we
don't have time for this. We've got to
451
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,060
to the trunk and get the sword. Then we
can kill those fuckers before the next
452
00:33:41,060 --> 00:33:44,560
monsters get here. A better idea. Why
don't we stay in here where it's safe?
453
00:33:44,780 --> 00:33:47,760
Out of the question. The longer we wait,
the more monsters will appear.
454
00:33:48,140 --> 00:33:51,460
Eventually, something will burst through
that door and kill us all. Yeah, okay,
455
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,160
maybe we get the sword then.
456
00:33:53,500 --> 00:33:56,740
Oh, yeah, great plan, except you're
forgetting one thing.
457
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:58,640
Who's going to stab the spirits?
458
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:00,760
Scruffy's totally out of commission.
459
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:05,840
I will.
460
00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:09,380
I'll get the sword.
461
00:34:09,980 --> 00:34:11,159
I'll kill those spirits.
462
00:34:12,139 --> 00:34:13,420
I got us into this mess.
463
00:34:14,340 --> 00:34:15,560
It's the least I can do.
464
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:20,760
I fucked you, Will. No, I'm serious.
465
00:34:21,020 --> 00:34:22,659
Can you believe this, kid? Hey, I'm
serious.
466
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,500
You wouldn't last two seconds out there.
We need a real plan.
467
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,620
Actually, Lucas is really fast.
468
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:29,620
He could probably get to the trunk.
469
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:30,618
Oh, bull.
470
00:34:30,620 --> 00:34:31,438
He's not fast.
471
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,379
What's your mile time?
472
00:34:32,380 --> 00:34:34,260
447. Oh, yeah, that's pretty fast.
473
00:34:34,670 --> 00:34:35,670
Then it's settled.
474
00:34:35,830 --> 00:34:37,630
Lucas, we're counting on you.
475
00:34:38,570 --> 00:34:40,510
I'm going to go with you to provide some
distractions.
476
00:34:41,110 --> 00:34:41,908
Thanks, Ted.
477
00:34:41,909 --> 00:34:42,909
I'm not doing it for you.
478
00:34:43,190 --> 00:34:45,770
I'm doing it because I don't have faith
you won't try to bail on us.
479
00:34:46,290 --> 00:34:48,929
Teamwork. I like it. Jenny, you man the
door.
480
00:34:49,230 --> 00:34:50,230
Let's get moving.
481
00:34:50,489 --> 00:34:51,610
Let's wait for good luck.
482
00:34:51,870 --> 00:34:52,870
I love you, woman.
483
00:34:53,949 --> 00:34:56,290
Listen, I thought you were right behind
me, I swear.
484
00:34:56,570 --> 00:34:58,930
Yeah, you know, it's fine. Just be
careful.
485
00:35:00,750 --> 00:35:02,610
Lightning McQueen, let's go.
486
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:04,600
Good job.
487
00:35:20,260 --> 00:35:26,240
Where did they go?
488
00:35:49,930 --> 00:35:50,808
Oh, good.
489
00:35:50,810 --> 00:35:52,010
Yeah, that's not terrifying.
490
00:35:52,890 --> 00:35:55,790
Jenny, grab one of McScruffy's guns and
cover us.
491
00:35:57,790 --> 00:35:58,950
Come on, city boy.
492
00:36:00,350 --> 00:36:01,490
Let's go get that sword.
493
00:36:01,850 --> 00:36:08,370
You know, now that we're here, I was
thinking maybe we'd go... Can I have a
494
00:36:08,750 --> 00:36:09,930
Absolutely not.
495
00:37:07,050 --> 00:37:09,690
Sorry, that's my bad. You almost made me
shit my pants.
496
00:37:12,310 --> 00:37:13,310
Sorry.
497
00:37:17,330 --> 00:37:23,370
Oh, my God.
498
00:37:24,970 --> 00:37:28,990
Hey, what did it look like? It looked
like a fucking wooden sword, you
499
00:37:29,150 --> 00:37:30,730
No, that was like a technical name or
something.
500
00:37:31,030 --> 00:37:32,690
A technical name?
501
00:37:50,890 --> 00:37:57,310
There's fog what like fog creeping
across the floor
502
00:37:57,310 --> 00:38:01,530
He's here
503
00:38:39,530 --> 00:38:40,530
Hurry up and find that sword.
504
00:38:42,490 --> 00:38:43,550
Uh, Ted?
505
00:38:43,910 --> 00:38:44,908
Damn it, Lucas.
506
00:38:44,910 --> 00:38:45,910
Get the sword.
507
00:38:47,870 --> 00:38:49,710
Lucas? Yeah, I'm looking, okay?
508
00:38:51,790 --> 00:38:53,910
Lucas? I'm looking. Oh!
509
00:39:15,020 --> 00:39:15,578
the bitches.
510
00:39:15,580 --> 00:39:16,419
Fuck this.
511
00:39:16,420 --> 00:39:17,420
Jenny!
512
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:20,120
Let me in!
513
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:22,400
Jenny! Jenny, come on!
514
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:24,020
Jenny, let me in! Let me in!
515
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:30,560
I'm trying and... Jenny, this fucking
cunt of a donkey's out here! Let me in!
516
00:40:22,830 --> 00:40:25,610
You used the sword. It's the only way to
kill him. No, I did, and it didn't
517
00:40:25,610 --> 00:40:27,250
work. We've got to stab him in the
heart.
518
00:40:30,450 --> 00:40:32,610
Yeah, okay, that makes sense.
519
00:40:33,830 --> 00:40:36,590
I've got to catch my breath.
520
00:40:37,270 --> 00:40:38,270
Fucking cornea.
521
00:40:39,910 --> 00:40:42,810
Oh, shit.
522
00:40:44,950 --> 00:40:46,870
When I catch my breath, we're going to
go back out there.
523
00:40:48,110 --> 00:40:50,350
I'm going to give you an opening, and
all you've got to do is dab.
524
00:40:50,590 --> 00:40:53,370
Okay? What if we just stayed in here?
No, we can't.
525
00:40:53,650 --> 00:40:56,330
If another monster shows up, we are
extra fucked.
526
00:40:57,010 --> 00:40:58,330
And I'm not dying tonight.
527
00:40:59,390 --> 00:41:00,970
God damn it, we need McScruffy.
528
00:41:04,190 --> 00:41:11,110
Look, I'm... I'm really sorry. I... I
really messed up. If I was
529
00:41:11,110 --> 00:41:15,150
just at the window, like you said, I
wouldn't have shot McScruffy. You had a
530
00:41:15,150 --> 00:41:16,250
contract.
531
00:41:17,090 --> 00:41:18,090
Yeah, that too.
532
00:41:24,110 --> 00:41:27,990
And now here we are in a bathroom,
hiding.
533
00:41:29,170 --> 00:41:33,530
We're about to go back out there and
kill our neighbors with a wooden sword.
534
00:41:36,070 --> 00:41:38,370
Life treats you kind of funny sometimes,
doesn't it?
535
00:41:40,690 --> 00:41:42,150
Let me give you some advice, kid.
536
00:41:44,210 --> 00:41:45,990
Life is going to throw a bunch of shit
at you.
537
00:41:46,230 --> 00:41:51,350
You can plan and you can prepare, but
eventually something's going to
538
00:41:51,350 --> 00:41:53,270
you. And when it does...
539
00:41:54,410 --> 00:41:55,510
You have a choice to make.
540
00:41:57,230 --> 00:42:01,010
Do I roll over and let life fuck me?
541
00:42:02,570 --> 00:42:04,850
Or do I fuck life right back?
542
00:42:08,590 --> 00:42:10,070
That's a really weird analogy.
543
00:42:10,530 --> 00:42:11,550
I need you to be strong.
544
00:42:12,650 --> 00:42:14,470
Jenny needs you to be strong.
545
00:42:15,550 --> 00:42:19,050
The HOA needs you to be strong.
546
00:42:19,370 --> 00:42:22,170
But... I mean, I can't.
547
00:42:22,410 --> 00:42:23,570
Who says I'm not?
548
00:42:24,090 --> 00:42:25,670
What does being scared have to do with
anything?
549
00:42:26,630 --> 00:42:28,110
I'm talking about strength.
550
00:42:30,610 --> 00:42:31,670
This is your moment.
551
00:42:32,830 --> 00:42:34,530
This is where you show your true colors.
552
00:42:35,750 --> 00:42:36,770
Prove me wrong, Lucas.
553
00:42:38,230 --> 00:42:40,290
Show me you're not a selfish asshole.
554
00:42:43,490 --> 00:42:44,990
Okay. Don't just say okay.
555
00:42:45,890 --> 00:42:47,250
I need you to mean it.
556
00:42:47,850 --> 00:42:48,850
Yeah.
557
00:42:49,590 --> 00:42:50,590
You're right.
558
00:42:51,150 --> 00:42:52,150
I hear you.
559
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:55,160
This is it.
560
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:58,140
If you run again, I swear I'll kill you
myself.
561
00:42:59,500 --> 00:43:00,500
Okay.
562
00:43:01,300 --> 00:43:02,300
Attaboy.
563
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:06,120
Now let's go kick some fucking kung fu
spirit ass.
564
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:10,640
Wait. What are you talking about? Wait.
That was a great pep talk.
565
00:43:10,940 --> 00:43:11,940
Leslie's coke.
566
00:43:15,980 --> 00:43:17,300
You think of what I'm thinking?
567
00:43:18,700 --> 00:43:22,840
Snort some coke, get fucking pumped, and
go kill some zombies.
568
00:43:23,060 --> 00:43:25,600
What? No, that's what I... It's a thing.
569
00:43:26,020 --> 00:43:29,240
I know. That's what I was... Oh.
570
00:43:31,540 --> 00:43:32,540
You think?
571
00:43:33,020 --> 00:43:34,020
Maybe.
572
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:36,120
Maybe.
573
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,800
We need to get to McScruffy. Now!
574
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:54,800
They're not moving.
575
00:43:54,860 --> 00:44:00,360
Maybe if I... What was that?
576
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,860
Jared, they're still not back yet. Don't
panic. We'll be all right.
577
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:06,280
Jenny, I need you to reload McScruffie's
clock.
578
00:44:06,780 --> 00:44:11,620
Reload? Why would... Quigley!
579
00:44:12,820 --> 00:44:14,560
Come on, Lucas. Where are you?
580
00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:17,720
How do you get the ammo holder thingy
out?
581
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:19,720
The little button! The button on the
side!
582
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:21,160
Oh, dear Lord.
583
00:44:21,799 --> 00:44:25,760
I'll make the opening and you stab,
okay? Got it. Don't let me down, city
584
00:44:26,140 --> 00:44:27,420
All right, time to be strong.
585
00:44:27,660 --> 00:44:29,580
Let's do this. Take it till you make it,
baby.
586
00:45:29,190 --> 00:45:30,390
It's in my mouth!
587
00:45:30,750 --> 00:45:31,750
Fuck yeah!
588
00:45:59,770 --> 00:46:00,749
Sorry, Leslie.
589
00:46:00,750 --> 00:46:03,130
Looks like we got the final blow.
590
00:46:13,810 --> 00:46:14,950
Holy shit.
591
00:46:19,290 --> 00:46:23,650
Way to be strong.
592
00:46:23,870 --> 00:46:24,870
city boy.
593
00:47:01,610 --> 00:47:04,090
Get this to McScruffy. Do it.
594
00:47:07,710 --> 00:47:09,270
I'll take care of the pooch.
595
00:47:11,950 --> 00:47:13,190
Come on, Clifford.
596
00:47:14,030 --> 00:47:15,030
Let's tango.
597
00:47:21,130 --> 00:47:22,130
Fine.
598
00:47:22,530 --> 00:47:23,890
This fight it is.
599
00:47:26,030 --> 00:47:28,490
Is that all you got?
600
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:51,760
Please work, please work.
601
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:30,260
Keep your hands off my wife, you... I
602
00:48:30,260 --> 00:48:37,700
got
603
00:48:37,700 --> 00:48:38,700
it!
604
00:48:45,780 --> 00:48:51,540
Is he dead?
605
00:48:58,120 --> 00:48:59,340
He's freaking out, I think.
606
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:00,840
Bang!
607
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:06,320
Oh, my God. I am so sorry. I am so
sorry. I didn't mean to leave you.
608
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,220
No, it's okay. I'm glad you're safe.
609
00:49:36,300 --> 00:49:37,360
You're gonna be okay.
610
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,300
Guess I gotta... blindside it, huh?
611
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:09,520
I love you, Ned.
612
00:50:09,660 --> 00:50:10,660
Danny, you can't.
613
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:12,920
Danny, you can't.
614
00:51:29,570 --> 00:51:31,650
Teddy? Shit! Annette, get back!
615
00:51:37,990 --> 00:51:38,990
Suck it!
616
00:51:40,490 --> 00:51:41,490
Do something!
617
00:51:44,210 --> 00:51:45,210
Let her go!
618
00:51:46,050 --> 00:51:47,190
Don't make me use this!
619
00:51:47,590 --> 00:51:48,590
Suck it!
620
00:51:51,490 --> 00:51:54,130
Don't let me down, city boy. It's time
to be strong.
621
00:52:59,500 --> 00:53:02,360
I'm not crying. I'm just allergic to
blood.
622
00:53:03,940 --> 00:53:05,840
Yeah, me too.
623
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:11,720
I'm so sorry.
624
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:15,220
I'm so sorry.
625
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:18,900
I'm really fucked up. I think I'm really
fucked up, Jenny.
626
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:22,040
We should not be here.
627
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:24,300
We shouldn't have even moved here.
628
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:27,400
Because you didn't even want an HOA to
begin with.
629
00:53:29,290 --> 00:53:34,410
Yeah, but even you couldn't have
predicted this.
630
00:53:34,750 --> 00:53:36,110
I could have listened to you.
631
00:53:37,910 --> 00:53:39,230
You know, I could have listened.
632
00:53:40,730 --> 00:53:42,750
And we wouldn't even be here tonight.
633
00:53:45,510 --> 00:53:46,510
True.
634
00:53:49,610 --> 00:53:53,970
Hey, did you know that Annette's
Moonshine just got picked up for
635
00:53:54,550 --> 00:53:57,670
It's going to be available across the
country just if you want.
636
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,440
Jerry knew some guys who pulled some
strings.
637
00:54:02,740 --> 00:54:04,860
What are you talking about?
638
00:54:05,100 --> 00:54:10,140
And Marcus, he gave out free oil changes
to everyone in the neighborhood just
639
00:54:10,140 --> 00:54:11,140
because.
640
00:54:13,260 --> 00:54:19,040
Oh, and Annette told me that Ted ran a
neighborhood adult t -ball league.
641
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:23,300
Adult t -ball?
642
00:54:24,260 --> 00:54:25,260
Yeah.
643
00:54:25,700 --> 00:54:28,100
It was just an excuse to get day drunk.
644
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:32,000
Jenny, what are you doing?
645
00:54:33,240 --> 00:54:37,720
I'm just saying that they had a real
family vibe here.
646
00:54:39,220 --> 00:54:45,220
And given other circumstances, I think
we could have been really happy here.
647
00:54:48,900 --> 00:54:51,020
Jenny, you don't have to try to make me
feel better.
648
00:54:51,340 --> 00:54:52,340
I'm not.
649
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:58,560
I just need you to know that I don't
blame you for it.
650
00:55:17,839 --> 00:55:18,839
Hey, Jenny.
651
00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:20,900
Yeah?
652
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:24,460
I don't want us to die.
653
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:29,200
We're not done.
654
00:55:31,460 --> 00:55:33,360
You just got to stop being a negative
Nancy.
655
00:55:40,900 --> 00:55:42,520
Annette, we need to get moving.
656
00:55:43,260 --> 00:55:44,320
Another wave is coming.
657
00:55:48,970 --> 00:55:49,970
I've got a plan.
658
00:55:50,290 --> 00:55:52,610
It's crazy, but it's a plan.
659
00:55:53,310 --> 00:55:55,690
I don't think Teddy would want us to
give up without a fight.
660
00:56:00,290 --> 00:56:01,290
What's the motto?
661
00:56:02,410 --> 00:56:03,550
Welcome to the iguana.
662
00:56:05,350 --> 00:56:06,350
Please don't die.
663
00:56:10,170 --> 00:56:12,270
Thanks. I'm finally starting to feel my
fingers.
664
00:56:12,790 --> 00:56:13,790
Check it.
665
00:56:15,630 --> 00:56:16,630
Got you, bitch.
666
00:56:19,500 --> 00:56:20,500
I'll punch you later.
667
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:21,840
Jenny, anything out the window?
668
00:56:22,060 --> 00:56:23,280
Nothing yet. It's still quiet.
669
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:25,160
Okay, so what's this plan?
670
00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:28,240
All right, so you know how we're always
on the defensive, right? We're always
671
00:56:28,240 --> 00:56:30,020
protecting the clubhouse from the
monsters, yeah?
672
00:56:30,240 --> 00:56:33,020
Yeah. So we flip it. We go on the
offensive.
673
00:56:34,020 --> 00:56:38,320
Okay, okay, so we attack the monsters.
Not the monsters.
674
00:56:38,740 --> 00:56:40,500
We attack the portal.
675
00:56:41,060 --> 00:56:42,140
And how do we do that?
676
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:51,640
We get drunk.
677
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:54,460
That moonshine is... 190 proof.
678
00:56:54,740 --> 00:56:55,820
A .K .A.
679
00:56:56,100 --> 00:56:57,500
flammable as fuck.
680
00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:00,580
Okay, so we light the portal on fire?
681
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:03,980
We fight fire with fire. That just makes
more fire.
682
00:57:04,300 --> 00:57:05,500
We're not gonna burn them.
683
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:08,940
We're gonna blow these motherfuckers to
kingdom come.
684
00:57:10,240 --> 00:57:12,640
I mean, is that gonna work?
685
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:13,638
Hard maybe.
686
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:14,640
70 -30 chance.
687
00:57:14,820 --> 00:57:16,260
70 it works, or...
688
00:57:20,330 --> 00:57:23,370
We fill that sucker up, push it in, come
motherfucking boom.
689
00:57:24,410 --> 00:57:27,610
Okay, and to get it there, we, uh... We
run it.
690
00:57:29,470 --> 00:57:30,510
You mean I run it.
691
00:57:31,430 --> 00:57:32,430
You good with that?
692
00:57:35,890 --> 00:57:37,010
We've got movement.
693
00:57:37,770 --> 00:57:41,990
Shit. What is it? What do you see? Uh, I
don't know. A bird?
694
00:57:42,570 --> 00:57:43,650
Maybe a bat?
695
00:57:59,950 --> 00:58:01,270
I've only heard about them in legends.
696
00:58:02,490 --> 00:58:03,490
Kamikaze bats.
697
00:58:09,150 --> 00:58:10,750
Time to put the plan into action.
698
00:58:10,970 --> 00:58:12,530
Annette, start filling that thing up.
699
00:58:12,790 --> 00:58:15,890
Jenny, find a gun and start shooting
down as many of those little fuckers as
700
00:58:15,890 --> 00:58:16,890
can before they get here.
701
00:58:17,710 --> 00:58:18,710
Lucas!
702
00:58:19,170 --> 00:58:20,170
Limber up.
703
00:58:22,590 --> 00:58:23,590
Wait!
704
00:58:25,870 --> 00:58:26,870
McScruffy!
705
00:58:29,070 --> 00:58:30,530
You're gonna need some extra cover.
706
00:58:36,530 --> 00:58:37,590
I'm coming with you.
707
00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:03,920
You good, Scruff?
708
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:05,240
Bang!
709
00:59:06,820 --> 00:59:07,820
Good enough.
710
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:10,700
Lucas, you just focus on running, and
Scruffy will be your cover.
711
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:14,040
Jenny, you sharpshoot from here. And
Jerry, you stay put.
712
00:59:14,580 --> 00:59:15,660
No need to be a dick.
713
00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:16,880
Gotcha, bitch.
714
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:18,600
Okay.
715
00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:20,440
Let's do this.
716
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:22,080
Wait!
717
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:25,540
I just want to say... Jenny, we don't
have time for this right now! I'm glad
718
00:59:25,540 --> 00:59:26,299
moved here.
719
00:59:26,300 --> 00:59:27,300
I love you.
720
00:59:27,820 --> 00:59:28,820
I love you, too.
721
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:29,960
Bang!
722
00:59:30,380 --> 00:59:31,480
Don't you worry, Scruff.
723
00:59:32,090 --> 00:59:33,029
We will.
724
00:59:33,030 --> 00:59:34,270
Lucas, hurry!
725
00:59:34,730 --> 00:59:36,010
Oh, shit. Right.
726
00:59:37,230 --> 00:59:38,310
Let's do this.
727
01:00:45,230 --> 01:00:47,170
To the left. Right. Save.
728
01:00:48,330 --> 01:00:51,650
To check your bad attitude.
729
01:00:54,770 --> 01:00:57,230
Make Scruffy the moonshine.
730
01:00:58,910 --> 01:01:00,190
This isn't working.
731
01:01:01,470 --> 01:01:02,910
There's so many of them.
732
01:01:03,670 --> 01:01:06,130
Kenny, we've got a problem.
733
01:01:06,710 --> 01:01:08,270
Yeah, no shit, we have a problem.
734
01:01:08,550 --> 01:01:09,850
No, I mean...
735
01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:40,820
We've only got one option then.
736
01:01:43,740 --> 01:01:45,020
You've had that on the whole time?
737
01:01:45,940 --> 01:01:46,940
That's so dangerous.
738
01:01:47,200 --> 01:01:48,200
Get me to the portal.
739
01:02:13,610 --> 01:02:14,610
Back in here.
740
01:03:10,080 --> 01:03:11,080
Don't like this.
741
01:03:11,840 --> 01:03:13,120
I don't do scary shit
742
01:05:49,580 --> 01:05:54,000
off you you don't no no no there's gotta
be a theme or something there's no time
743
01:05:54,000 --> 01:06:00,480
no no i can cut it off this is your hoa
now
744
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:01,920
make a double
745
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:08,540
like what
746
01:06:49,660 --> 01:06:50,720
I'll cover you, run!
747
01:06:50,920 --> 01:06:53,060
No, Extrapia, I can't... I'm already
dead!
748
01:06:53,300 --> 01:06:54,279
Now go!
749
01:06:54,280 --> 01:06:55,460
What are you doing? Go!
750
01:07:03,260 --> 01:07:04,720
Make us proud, Mixed Double.
751
01:07:06,540 --> 01:07:10,540
Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy
shit! Holy shit!
752
01:07:10,860 --> 01:07:11,860
Holy shit!
753
01:08:06,190 --> 01:08:10,090
I guess you could say... I went out with
her.
754
01:09:30,319 --> 01:09:31,319
Oh, my God.
755
01:09:33,160 --> 01:09:34,500
That was so scary.
756
01:09:49,240 --> 01:09:50,240
Jerry!
757
01:09:51,560 --> 01:09:52,560
You're alive!
758
01:09:52,700 --> 01:09:53,700
Where am I?
759
01:09:53,779 --> 01:09:55,740
Where was I? I was surrounded by flame!
760
01:09:56,120 --> 01:09:58,440
You're okay. You're okay. Breathe.
Breathe.
761
01:09:58,700 --> 01:09:59,700
You're in.
762
01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:03,260
The clubhouse. Oh, thank God. It smells
horrible.
763
01:10:07,520 --> 01:10:09,940
That man touched me with a stick.
764
01:10:29,390 --> 01:10:30,950
Maybe just a midge that way?
765
01:10:31,910 --> 01:10:32,910
Yeah.
766
01:10:35,870 --> 01:10:37,390
Greetings. Settling in okay?
767
01:10:38,390 --> 01:10:39,630
I'm a mover. Well,
768
01:10:40,730 --> 01:10:42,850
I just wanted to invite you to a party
at the clubhouse tonight.
769
01:10:43,130 --> 01:10:45,830
It's a little annual thing we do here.
Put on by the HOA.
770
01:10:46,070 --> 01:10:47,070
Party?
771
01:10:47,870 --> 01:10:48,688
Hell yeah.
772
01:10:48,690 --> 01:10:50,390
Fantastic. I'll see you at seven.
773
01:10:50,690 --> 01:10:51,690
Sharp.
774
01:10:53,530 --> 01:10:55,730
Oh, McScruffy, you're drooling.
775
01:10:58,360 --> 01:11:01,740
Shall we head to the port? Let's do it.
And, hey, they're lucky it's actually
776
01:11:01,740 --> 01:11:04,840
just a party this year. And a wife mixed
double might have to make an
777
01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:09,080
appearance. I still don't believe he
actually called you that. No, he
778
01:11:09,080 --> 01:11:11,280
did. It just grows in blonde.
779
01:11:11,980 --> 01:11:15,260
What do you think of this lawn? Should
we send a letter? I'm thinking the same
780
01:11:15,260 --> 01:11:16,740
thing. They've been here, what, a week
already?
781
01:11:17,400 --> 01:11:18,400
The nerve.
782
01:11:18,480 --> 01:11:19,820
Now, boys, be nice.
783
01:11:20,980 --> 01:11:22,940
Oh, there's the dick stack from baby.
784
01:11:23,460 --> 01:11:24,600
Yeah, not painted, dude.
785
01:12:34,860 --> 01:12:35,960
What's Leslie doing?
786
01:12:37,440 --> 01:12:38,440
Drugs.
787
01:12:38,820 --> 01:12:40,280
She's doing drugs.
788
01:12:48,760 --> 01:12:51,180
I still don't believe he actually has
drugs.
789
01:12:53,240 --> 01:12:53,800
All
790
01:12:53,800 --> 01:13:01,620
right,
791
01:13:01,660 --> 01:13:02,660
everyone, gather round.
792
01:13:17,450 --> 01:13:18,830
I was trying to hold my breath.
793
01:13:19,870 --> 01:13:20,870
Bang!
794
01:13:41,150 --> 01:13:43,250
Let's call it a day.
795
01:13:44,170 --> 01:13:46,390
I'm 65 miles away.
796
01:13:48,680 --> 01:13:51,840
Now it's the things of what I'm gonna
say.
797
01:13:54,420 --> 01:13:57,400
Hello. So here I am.
798
01:13:57,740 --> 01:14:02,200
I've been missing you. So what I can't.
To forget.
799
01:15:02,600 --> 01:15:03,600
Weeping on your
55597
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