Original subtitles

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It was my mistake to ask someone like you!

Miyabi, wait! Miyabi!

Never talk to me again!

I'm through with you!

Good morning.

What?

I'm sorry, Miyabi.

An audition?

Yup. I sent your photo for a beauty contest.

Why did you do that?

You're so cute, I know you'll be selected!

- Without my permission? - That's why I said I was sorry.

But, Miyabi, you might get selected.

You're really good-looking. You also sing pretty well.

Why don't you just show up?

I'm not interested.

Soon you'll receive the results of the initial paper review.

If you're selected, you enter the final selection!

Yeah, right.

Listen, Miyabi. Let's enter together.

Together?

Chikako, did you enter yourself too?

I felt lonely doing it by myself.

I see. So you just wanted to enter yourself.

That's amazing!

Miyabi, you're gonna be a star!

Good morning...

- Hey, Miyabi! - Miyabi, wait!

Miyabi...

ONI

Good morning.

What are you doing?

I am just a nameless ninja.

A commoner such as you should not fall in love with me.

Now, excuse me.

Wouldn't you notice?

She's truly Toroko, a slow girl.

What happened? Nomura used to belong to Aizawa's group.

What in the world is Aizawa doing?

I thought her only enemy was Onizuka, wasn't it?

All rise!

Bow.

Be seated.

What's wrong, Nomura?

Oh, it's nothing.

But this...

She dropped it herself.

On top of that, she sat on it.

She can't help it. She's really slow.

Is that true?

Ice cream?

Yes.

Ice cream, huh?

Yes...

- That's strange. - Huh?

Was there ice cream at the school store?

That's not the point!

I didn't want to stick my nose into the affairs of someone else's class.

But that is definitely bullying.

Is that so?

If that's the case, something needs to be done.

Yeah, you're right.

Excuse me, are you thinking seriously?

That's not it!

PEOPLE'S REVOLUTION AUTOCRACY

As you know, after the people's revolution,

to replace the autocracy of the king...

He's not motivated, as usual.

...they pursued the realization...

And he says he's committed to being a teacher.

I'm too shocked to speak.

...of a democratic government...

What was I saying?

Take this!

It's pretty hard to get it in the trash can.

Hey, Nomura!

What are you doing facing this way all by yourself?

I-It's okay. Don't worry.

It's my fault.

It's because she's the trash can of this class.

What is it? What did I do?

No more, no more! I'm too sleepy to teach class!

Let's make a soda bottle rocket!

Again? You really like it, huh?

Yeah. It's pretty fun, isn't it?

Let's do it.

Well, it'd be better than Onizuka's normal class.

If you're not teaching, I'm leaving.

Sure. Do as you like.

Murai, go get a bottle from the school store.

Why do I have to?

Miyabi, can I come?

Don't come, you trash can.

Pisses me off.

Let's go. If he's a teacher, he should at least teach properly.

That's right. Pump more air into it.

A-Am I doing it right?

You're doing a good job!

Hey, is it safe to let Toroko do it?

What do you mean?

Nomura's seriously slow.

When the girls had a dance performance, she basically waddled around.

When she makes scrambled eggs, she turns them into pancakes.

It takes her a minute to run 100 meters.

Whatever she does, she always messes up.

So it's our unspoken rule to not let Toroko do anything.

Otherwise, it all ends up a mess.

Don't worry.

It doesn't matter when you're just pumping air.

Right, Nomura? Are you done?

Yes.

Shit! That's why I said not to let Toroko do it!

It's cold! I'm soaking wet all the way to my underwear!

I'm home. Daddy has just come home!

Darling, welcome home. You're home very early today.

Yeah, the manager was away on a business trip.

I'm glad you're home. Do you want to eat?

Or do you want a bath?

Let me think...

Let's eat first. What's for dinner today?

Your favorite, Salisbury steak!

Oh, great!

Here's your steak. And beer.

You're so considerate...

It looks tasty. Let's eat.

Wow. This is so good.

Here, try the potatoes too...

Vroom, vroom...

Beep, beep.

Hey, you wench. Your first son Kenji has returned!

Money. Give me money.

You got your paycheck, didn't you? Beep, beep.

Hey, Nomura, what are you waiting for?

Your problem child, Kenji, has come home.

Unless you do something, your home will be all messed up.

Hey, stop it, Kenji!

Shut up, you bitch.

Stop me from running wild, if you can. Vroom, vroom, vroom.

As a mother...

No, as a person, I will see that you get rehabilitated!

Yeah, right! Bring it on.

Hurry up and get off the bike, Kenji.

Shut up and give me money, you bitch!

Always asking for money...

We don't have any money to give you!

Wait right there, Kenji!

Yakiniku meal.

How's this? It's JULIANA'S TOKYO. Maybe you're too young to know.

Teacher, you're amazing!

I used to dream about hanging out with these kinds of girls.

Nomura, don't you have dreams like that?

Dreams or something you want.

I bet you have one.

Brand-name items, a camera or cell phone?

Nothing in particular.

Nothing? I'm sure you have at least one?

Oh, come on. Anything's fine!

Then a cell phone.

Or a friend I can tell anything to...

on that cell phone...

maybe.

Like this one?

FRIEND

No! I don't like it! Make it look more human.

Then from the Roswell UFO incident.

FRIEND

That's a dead body!

Then...

An alien captured by the FBI.

How come they're all aliens?

You don't like it?

No, I don't.

CHINESE FOOD RAMEN GYOZA

Miso ramen, gyoza, beer and a half bowl of rice.

One miso, one gyoza, one beer and half a bowl of rice.

Got it.

I'm sorry we can't greet you properly after you came all this way.

Oh, please don't worry. I just stopped by.

Fried rice is ready.

All right.

How's our Tomoko doing at school?

She isn't giving you trouble, is she?

She is a little slow, isn't she?

No, not at all.

Is that so? That's good to know.

Here you go.

We don't have much, but we have plenty of noodles.

- You'll try them, won't you? - Thank you! Good timing. I was hungry.

Tomoko, hurry up and eat. I want you to help out here.

O-Okay.

This is really tasty, sir!

You're such a nice teacher.

I'll treat you to beer and egg too.

What? Thank you!

Ta-da, mini ramen is ready.

Hey, Tomoko. Take these to table 3.

Hurry!

Okay.

Everyone else in our family is fast-paced.

I wonder who she takes after.

I'm so sorry about today.

You took time to come to my house,

but I'm always this way.

When I was little, I'd follow strangers for candy.

Or I'd cause trouble whenever I tried to help with the restaurant.

I was always yelled at by my dad and mom.

Isn't it strange that I'm the only slow one in the family?

In elementary school, I was always last in sports and studies.

I was called a cow because my breasts were big.

T-Teacher, what are you doing?

What? I was just... They're so big, so...

Is that yours?

What?

Yeah. I just couldn't put it away.

So I've kept it here.

When I was in fourth grade, Miyabi invited me to go home with her.

It made me so happy.

You know, Miyabi is pretty, smart and very athletic.

Her father is the CEO of a company.

I was so happy that someone so great asked me to walk home together.

Miyabi is really awesome.

I've admired her for a long time...

I wish I could be like her.

Because she has a lot of things I don't have.

But it doesn't matter anymore.

It looks like she hates me now.

I can't blame her because, look at me.

I don't think I'm worth living.

CHINESE FOOD

Teacher, let's hang out again.

Nomura, why don't you have more confidence in yourself?

What?

I understand that you long to be like Aizawa

because she has a lot of things you don't.

But I think you have a lot of things she doesn't have.

How about you just trust me on this and bet your life on me?

What?

What is that?

Maybe there's some sort of event.

Hey. Do you want to have tea with me?

Hey, do you wanna work at our club? It's an image club.

N-No, thank you.

I wonder what Mr. Onizuka's thinking.

Tomorrow, wait for me in front of Kichijoji Station with this on.

I'll be your producer.

Producer?

What is that?

HONEY OTSUKA

Are you Tomoko Nomura?

Y-Yes.

I'm a producer for adult videos.

Producer? Adult videos?

I want you to come with me.

You heard from Eikichi, didn't you?

So this is what he meant when he said he'd be my producer.

MISS INOKASHIRA PAGEANT

Will Miyabi show up?

She didn't really seem into it.

She'll show up. She looked confident she could win.

That's true.

She's in another league unlike you who didn't even get in.

There she is. Miyabi, this way!

MUSASHINO PUBLIC HALL

Hey, future star!

Don't be silly. I'm only doing this to kill time.

I don't intend to take Onizuka's class anyway.

Huh?

Aizawa, what are you doing here?

What are you guys doing?

What happened was...

Could you stay still a little while?

Ah, very good. Very good.

You look good with makeup.

Hard to believe you're in junior high school.

Am I being taken somewhere?

It's okay. Don't worry.

We're not some weirdos.

We're just regular citizens who were asked to bring you.

Could you wear that outfit over there?

My gut feeling says

you will look better in that outfit rather than the cosplay outfit.

Yes, that's perfect.

Middle-aged men like girls with a young face and huge breasts.

What am I gonna do?

I ended up going with them,

but it's probably X-rated work.

Th-They'll probably strip me naked and take embarrassing videos of me.

But I guess it can't be helped.

I'm slow and stupid.

Teacher is trying to tell me

I could survive in this kind of world.

Teacher did say my breasts were big.

I have no choice but to go with the flow.

I feel like the calf in "Donna, Donna."

That's right, I'm just a cow.

A cow that produces a lot of milk.

"Field trip today.

Come to Musashino Public Hall immediately. Onizuka."

Huh?

MUSASHINO PUBLIC HALL

Okay. Is everyone here?

Good morning, everyone.

Isn't it a perfect day for a field trip?

Field trip?

That's right.

I call it "The Secrets of Showbiz: How a Star Is Born."

The purpose is to witness the moment a star is born in real-time.

Hey, Eikichi!

Oh, this way, this way.

Sorry we're late.

We had to stop at a traffic checkpoint on the way.

So how is it? How did it go?

It's a little different from your original request.

But it's perfected, with my own taste.

This is better for middle-aged men than the cosplay option. Come here.

Now we have the main character.

What? Teacher?

Yo.

Everyone... M-Miyabi!

Toroko! What are you wearing?

Well, we have everyone, right?

Let's go inside.

W-Wait a minute!

You're saying the one becoming a star today is...

Of course, it's Nomura.

Tomoko Nomura!

Me?

That's right.

Nomura, just be your usual self. Okay?

Okay. Let's go inside.

Teacher, I heard that Aizawa is in the audition today too.

Oh, really? What a coincidence!

Then she'll be Nomura's rival.

Fuji TV presents, the audition for Miss Inokashira,

the image girl for Inokashira Park.

MISS INOKASHIRA PAGEANT

Miyabi doesn't talk to me anymore.

Talk to her one more time from the stage.

You're right. You'll win, Miyabi.

Don't come near me, you trash can!

You just don't understand how slow she is.

A miracle will happen, if my judgment is correct.

Subtitle translation by: Jeff Nimoy

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