Original subtitles

- WOMAN: Okay. Go.

- Is this a video? - Of course it's a video.

We need to commemorate this moment today.

- Do we? - Yes!

These are the videos, babe,

that we are gonna watch when we are old and gray.

You're killing me right now. Literally, I'm dying.

I'm sorry. Were you planning on watching, like, the videos

of us dancing to "Brick House" at our wedding?

- No. - Were those the videos?

- Never gonna watch those. - No, we are gonna burn those.

- That we should do. - These are the moments, okay?

Today. Today is going to be the day where you

and your incredibly generous, loving, adoring...

- Yes. Super-hot, sexy, very pushy wife.

- Thank you. - But I'm just...

- Thank you. Thank you.

This is when we did it.

This is the day we made that Ferris wheel your bitch.

- It's really tall.

- Tell me how good it's gonna feel when you get off that

and you're like, "Damn, I did it and I didn't die,

because it turns out that's a child's ride

and I'm a grown man."

[laughs]

Oh, it's gonna be so sexy, babe.

- Is it? - Yeah.

- There are lots of things that are sexy

and we can see if this all together

and just do those parts.

- No. - That'll be good.

- No. This is important. We're gonna do this,

and all that comes after is, like, your reward.

- Bribery. - Yeah. Is it gonna work?

You ready?

Let's do this.

- Oh! - Oh! Charlie.

Charlie, where did you go?

All right. I've lost him. He's gone.

- I'm here. I'm here. I forgot where we put the car.

So...

- [laughs] Are we gonna do this?

- Ah, yeah, let's do it. - Yes, we're gonna do this.

I believe in you. Are you having fun?

- Oh, no. Turn it off. Turn it off. Turn it off.

Wow. Wow, wow. Wow. Why are we up here?

Why are we sitting up here? Why are you rocking it?

- No. - Stop rocking the thing.

- No, you're doing so great.

- I'm proud of you. - Thanks.

- Oh, God. - I love you.

- I love you too. when are we going down?

I'm gonna have a heart attack.

- No. Hey, listen. Nothing bad is gonna happen to you.

Nothing bad is gonna happen to you.

- Yeah? How do you know? I guess.

- Well, because all of that shit's already happened.

Nothing but blue skies, baby.

- I don't know if we have to be in the skies.

- Right? You just gotta adjust, let go.

[serene music]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

[spraying]

[birds chirping]

[doorbell rings]

- Oh, am I glad to see you.

- Hey, Marsh. - Hello, hello.

- You have come to the perfect place

to work out all that crap you're going through.

It's the desert, baby.

You know, they say that it has a--a crazy healing magic.

I used to think they only told that

to the tourists, but you know what?

The longer I'm here, the more woowoo I get. Right?

They say that there's water that runs under the earth

and it creates some type of crazy vortex with the soul.

But--Oh, and the light. Wait till you see the light.

It--It's before it gets dark and it isn't day,

but it--it--it isn't night either.

But it--it's this beautiful in-between.

- That's really nice.

- I can't wait for you to see it.

- It's really pretty.

Thank you for this.

- Yeah. Thanks, man. - Shh, shh. Listen to me.

You are my chosen family

and I would do anything for you, my bird.

Now, you call me if you need anything, okay?

Ricky's place is 10 minutes from here

and I can be here in six.

- Don't do that. - You've seen me drive.

- I know. - Alright. I left you fruit.

- Oh, thank you. - Good night, Marsh.

[serene music]

- Hey. - Hey.

We're here.

- We are.

We are.

- Yeah. Like, really, where are we?

There is really nothing out there.

Hmm.

In the desert.

- Yeah.

- That's good. Yeah? This is good.

- No.

No. No, it's not.

No, there's nothing fucking good about this, Charlie.

I can't fucking stop thinking about it, okay?

- Okay. - It's just like...

The only thing that is in my mind is--is...

- Yeah. Uh, I understand.

That makes perfect sense, right?

But we can't--You know, we talked about this.

We can't do anything about that.

But we're here now, so we're gonna focus on--

- How are you so fucking calm?

How are you just acting like nothing happened?

'Cause for me, it is the only thing that I see,

and yet you're so fucking calm.

- I'm just--

We decided we were gonna work through it. Right?

And--And we're here and we're doing that. And that's good.

That's a step, yeah?

- Yeah, we're trying.

- We're trying. - We're trying.

- Great.

So, what do you wanna do?

- What do--I don't know what I wanna do, Charlie.

I don't know how to do this. Okay? Why is it on me?

Why are you looking at me

like I am supposed to have this perfect idea

of how to do whatever it is that we're doing?

- It was your idea to come out here.

So I thought maybe you had another--But you don't.

That's fine. I know what next is. Here. Here.

Look at this. Here.

- What? - Energy. We're cleansing.

We're doing the--We're gonna do the crystal thing.

That's how this works, right?

I'm pretty sure that's how a crystal works.

- Is that how-- - Yeah.

- You think you're crystals? - Yeah.

We rub it on and then we hold it

and then we like, "woowoowoo."

Isn't that what he said

as Marshall was about to "woowoo"?

- The "woowoo."

- So we got all the "woowoo,"

and we're just--we're here.

[doorbell rings]

- Uh...

Oh.

- What'd you get? - Ah.

- Oh!

- Where's the fucking garbage? Where is it?

- Right there. - So funny.

- Gee. Alright.

You didn't wanna read the card or anything.

- No. No. I don't wanna read the card

because I know what that card says.

- Okay.

Did you hear the one about the flowers that fell in love?

It was a budding romance.

[both laughing]

- Pretty good. - Not funny.

- It's pretty good. - It was not funny.

No, I don't get it actually. Can you tell me--

- It's because they're flowers.

When they're young, they're called buds.

- Oh. - And then--

Before they bloom. Yeah.

I'm glad I'm here with you.

[beep]

- Okay. Time's up. Coming in.

[giggles, sighs]

- Yes.

- You ready? - Good feelings. I'm ready.

Ready. Woo. [laughs] Yeah.

- I love you. - I love you. Okay.

- Okay. - Oh, yeah.

1, 2, 3.

Mm. Mm.

- Yeah. [exhales]

Are you okay?

- Yes. Yes.

No, but, yes. It's--Hey, it's--

We'll just, uh--

- We'll get 'em next time. - Yes, we will.

- Yes. - Yes, we will.

Go right--right back at it.

- Yeah. - I can't--

You know it's my favorite thing to do.

[both laugh]

You okay?

Yeah? 'Cause-- Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey.

[serene music]

[bird shrieks]

CHARLIE: Okay. I know no one wants to hear people's dreams,

but this is not your average sex dream

'cause we were, like, in our eighties

and it was hot and we're still flexible.

And it was awesome until I caught my face in the mirror.

Right? And you're still old,

but I was back to my age now.

And this is where it gets weird.

So I--I look--I look back at you and it's still you,

but it's also-- Like, it wasn't you.

It was also kind of like our neighbor Sherry.

You know, it was like Sherry too. Anyway--

- You think this is the best time

to talk about your sex dreams, Charlie?

- Right. Sorry.

♪♪♪

[sobbing]

Hey, babe. Sorry for being such a dick.

Not a bad likeness, I think. They nailed it.

I think it's pretty close.

[cries]

So impressive.

♪♪♪

Let's keep going.

- Okay.

- I'm sorry. I am really trying, you know?

- I know.

- Wow.

What a view, huh?

Oh, man. You wouldn't think

I would still be afraid of heights, right, but...

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's--That's still a thing.

All of this really gives me a new perspective, you know.

It's beautiful.

I mean, this is-- this is weird, right?

But it's- it makes me, um, hopeful.

I don't know. It's something about it.

I'm even, uh, like, excited

about--about what comes next.

You know, just the openness.

I know. It's--

- Fuck you. Fuck you.

Fuck you and your excitement

and the hopefulness and the openness.

I can barely breathe.

And you get to be excited about the expanse.

What is fair about that?

- Fair? You really wanna talk about fair right now?

You have not stopped blaming me

for something that I did not mean to do.

Right? You think I went out looking for this?

I didn't want this. It just--It happened.

Alright? Erin, it fucking happened.

What if we just look at it as a new beginning?

- No.

- Why? - No.

- Come on. But why?

- Because I didn't want a new beginning.

I don't need a new beginning. You--You were my beginning.

We were so fucking good.

We were happy. We were so good.

We were so fucking good and happy.

You made me so-- And you ruined it.

You ruined it. I don't wanna start--

- Erin, you are being such a fucking bitch right now!

- Go away!

[breathing heavily]

- Did you hear about the woman who got lost out here?

They never found her.

[crying]

- Oh, my God.

- Charlie.

I'm so sorry.

- Mm-mmm. - I'm so sorry.

- No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- I love you. - I love you so much.

- I'm sorry. - No. I am sorry.

You had every right to be angry. I'm sorry.

Hey.

- Hey. - Hey.

- I love you. - I love you.

I was being a-- You know, I'm s-

- I love you. - I love you too.

That did really hurt though.

[both laugh]

Oh, man, you're so strong.

[both laugh]

[pop ballad intro]

WOMAN: ♪ Whether I wake up in the morning or noon ♪

♪ Whether it's right or if it's too soon ♪

♪ No matter the rules ♪

♪ Can't listen to fools ♪

♪ You'll all be like ♪

♪ In the shape of two spoons ♪

♪ And normally it's you and I share a bed ♪

[song continues]

- Hey.

- Hey.

- What if we just stayed here?

- I don't know. I might need a better book. This book sucks.

[laughs]

- Seriously. What if we just stayed out here in the desert?

Got weird, turned into desert people.

- I don't think I wanna be desert people.

- I think we can get really weird.

- Yeah, you're selling it.

- It could be a thing.

- Yeah.

But that's not real.

- I mean...

Yeah, but it's not...not real.

I mean, what is this? You know?

- Yeah.

- I'll do whatever this is. I'm with you.

What? Do you--

Are you not gonna stay?

- Yeah, I guess I don't know.

- What? I--I--I just, um--

It's like fucked up. I need...

I don't know.

It'd be nice to have an answer.

- I agree with you. It would be great to have an answer,

but I don't because I've never been dead before

and I don't know.

Nobody told me how it went.

There was no, like, instruction section

or, like, a onboarding or like a--

- Someone you could talk to. - Yeah.

There's no, like, supervisor as far as I can tell.

- There's supposed to be one major supervisor.

- I--Yeah. I mean, that's what a lot of things would've--

- I'll do this. I'll stay here with you.

- Babe, you're alive.

- Yeah.

But you're here.

[knocking]

- Erin? Sweetie?

I'm so sorry. Please don't get up.

I just need to get something I forgot in the closet

back here, baby.

- No, no, no, Ricky.

- I'm halfway to the club and I'm like,

how am I gonna do a Beyoncé number

and I don't even have a Beyonce wig?"

- Sorry. Sabrina wouldn't shut the hell up.

- Sorry, girl. I just really gotta take a piss.

- Shh, shh, shh, shh. - Oh.

- No. No, no, no. Where'd he go? Where'd he go?

Where'd he go? He's gone.

- It's okay. Come here, sweetheart.

[Erin crying]

- Oh, it's okay. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

I'm so sorry.

- I'm sorry.

- Oh, no, no, no, baby. Don't you apologize.

Your heart is broken into a thousand pieces.

- I think you get to yell and cry

till you can't yell and cry no more.

- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

- But we gotta air this room out

'cause it smells like death up in here.

- Mm-mmm. - Mm-mmm.

- What is wrong with you? - Was that too hard?

Girl, please.

Look, I'm sorry, but you're still alive, okay?

So you can yell and you can cry and let it all out. Right?

But we're opening the damn windows, okay?

Because this is...

- Ladies. - Mm-hmm.

- I think I'm about to make an executive decision.

- Oh, Lord. - You know what?

The show is gonna have to go on without us tonight.

- Girl. - Yes, yes.

- Yes, girl. - Let's get my makeup kit.

- ...looking for us at the show.

Where are the girls doing Destiny's Child

with the Beyoncé wigs?

[all laughing]

- She ain't got no titties. What are you talking about?

- That's what I call tasty.

- In a lot of native cultures, they had something called

the third gender, which was like us, right?

- Like the muxes in Mexico.

- Yes. Bless you, sweetheart.

And they were the priestesses and the healers.

So guiding people through their pain.

It's like in our blood.

- Girl, please. Listen.

I think it's just because we know grief. Okay?

We always have really.

There's--You know, that thing that just--

it makes us us-- what makes us so special.

It also brings us the most pain.

- I think the only remedy for the pain really

is to just embrace it with every fiber of your being

and then go right over the top of it.

I mean, react to it all in excess.

I think that's the same with you mourning loss.

That you have to assert your presence

by bringing even more life to it.

Okay? That's why we paint our faces like this, baby.

That's why we work our bodies the way we do.

It is to showcase that we love ourselves. Okay?

- That's right. - Yes, ma'am.

- To the women and the strength.

- There we go. - Come on, divas.

- Here we go. - To finding strength.

- To finding strength. - To finding strength.

- [clears throat] - Oh, my God, baby.

- Hey. What do you think?

- It's very-- Yeah, there's a lot of it.

- So it's a lot?

I'm having fun. Is that okay?

- Yes. I'm super excited you're having a good time.

You look killer.

- Thanks.

- I'm kind of in the middle of something, if you don't mind.

- Yes. I'm sorry. Sorry.

- All right. Bye.

Woo! Yeah.

[disco playing]

- Okay. She's almost ready, y'all.

- Whoo!

- Okay--[clears throat]

Ladies and...ladies,

please welcome to the stage my newest daughter,

a special contribution to this society.

Her first time in drag, but not her last.

Please make some backyard noise

for the lovely and talented Ms. Princess.

Pinky Peach! Yes!

- ♪ It's all about love ♪ - Oh, my goodness!

♪ The things that you do ♪

♪ You only do for love ♪

♪ You sit by the phone ♪

♪ But time makes you wait for love ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ It's all about love ♪

♪ You know it's all about love ♪

- Shake that tail feather. - ♪ It's all about love ♪

♪ Do you live it? ♪

♪ It's all about love ♪

♪ It's all about love ♪

♪ It's all about love ♪

♪♪♪

♪ It's all about love-love-love-love ♪

♪ It's all about love ♪

[music fades]

- You gonna be all right, sister?

- I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know.

- You know what? You might not ever know.

You'll probably never get over this.

I mean, how--how could you?

But you know what you will do?

You'll reconstruct your life and you'll take your grief

and you'll sew it into a little patch.

It's gonna make every dress you wear from here on out

even more beautiful than tonight's.

- We love you.

- [beep] - Here we go.

Hey, what up, Ricky? What up, Marshall?

- Hi, guys. - Hi.

It's your two favorite lame friends

with some weak-ass news.

We're not gonna come. We're not gonna be able

to come see you in Joshua Tree this weekend.

We just--Just work stuff really piled up

out of nowhere, and we are so sorry.

We're just feeling a little underwater.

So I think we're not gonna come hang out with you guys.

And I know that's super lame, but that's--that's just--

- You know what? No. - Sometimes--

- Guys, that's not it. I'm just gonna tell 'em.

They should know.

- I just didn't know if you wanted to.

- I know. But I feel weird not saying it, so...

Uh, we just got back from the doctor

and found out that it is a no-go again.

Uh, this time they said my uterus is inhospitable.

- Anyway. Yeah. - Uh, so I think--

I think it's the end of the road for us and kids.

And...

- So we just feel

like we were probably not great company.

Gonna be a little sad and, uh--Yeah.

Didn't wanna subject you to that, so...

not this weekend guys, but...

- No. I don't wanna think about it that way.

We're so lucky. We're so lucky.

- Yeah? - Yeah. We have each other.

- We do. - I love you.

- I love you. - This is good.

- It's very good. - Our life is good.

- Our life is really good. - Don't be sad.

- Yeah. - Yeah?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

- Yes. - I think we should go.

- Okay. - Yeah?

- Yeah. - Can we still come?

- This is a video and I haven't sent it,

so we can just not send it

and then we can go because they don't know.

- Uh, let's go. - Okay.

- Let's go to the desert. - Let's go to the desert.

- To the desert! - To the desert!

[crickets chirping]

[clears throat]

- Charlie?

Mmm.

Charlie?

Mm.

Charlie?

[clears throat]

Hey.

Hey!

Charlie.

Charlie!

Charlie!

Charlie!

Charlie!

Charlie! Charlie!

Charlie!

Charlie, don't--Charlie!

Charlie! Charlie!

- Erin! - [gasps]

- Hey, I'm so sorry. Did I wake you?

- No! Where is he? - I was trying to be quiet.

- No, where is he? - Where is who?

- Charlie! He was here. We were in the pool.

He was in the bathroom. He was right here.

- ERIN: Are you not gonna stay?

- CHARLIE: I guess I don't know.

I've never been dead before.

- Charlie!

I can't do this without him.

I can't do this without him.

I don't wanna do this without him.

- ♪ Happy birthday party day to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday party to you ♪

♪ I hope you're having the best fucking birthday party ♪

♪ Of all time ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ Hey. Hi, babe.

I'm happy you're celebr-

You're out for your birthday and I'm hella not with you.

And that sucks.

I really wish I could be there,

but I hope you're having the best time.

I don't. That's a lie.

That's what you're supposed to say.

But I don't really feel that way,

if I'm being perfectly honest.

I hope you're having an okay time,

but, like, not the best time

'cause it would be better if I was also there.

Uh, so that's...

Are we codependent?

That's what I was thinking about.

And I just--

I'm gonna let you know I am codependent,

and what I say to that is...

and? So? Right?

'Cause isn't that-- that's what we want, right?

Ain't it hella people in this world just running around

trying to feel like that, right?

Like, you want to be with somebody that much

and we have that,

and then you label it something like codependent

and that feels shitty.

But also, this is good. This is really good.

'Cause we're supposed to spend time apart

and be like--be ourselves.

And you right now with your friends and having fun.

And I'm this me-- I'm now this me without you.

And this guy's cool.

Anyway, I'm-- I'm just, uh--Ev--

This--All I'm trying to say is happy birthday

and I wish I was there.

And I love you so much,

and I hope you're having a great day.

Love you lots. Delete this one. Delete it. Bye.

[serene music]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

[sighs]

- [phone rings] - [answering machine beeps]

- MARSHALL: Hey, Birdie, hope you're doing well.

Look, I'm sending my masseuse over.

She's more of a spiritual healer.

You're gonna love her. She does the reiki

and brings the crystals and the sound bath.

You name it. Just call me if it's not okay,

but she'll--she'll be there.

- [thud] - All right? Okay. Bye.

- Charlie?

Charlie?

[laughs]

Hey! Hey!

Hey.

No.

[screams] No! God!

Charlie. Charlie.

- [both yelling] - What are you doing?

- [chuckles] - Where have you been?

- Oh, babe, my stomach was crazy. Wow.

- No, I'm serious. Where were you?

- I know, me too. You don't wanna be

anywhere near that. My God.

Just a--Just--Ugh.

I was making awful noises and...

- Mm. This is getting really difficult for me.

- It's not exactly, like, easy for me, right?

You feeling okay? You don't look good.

- Thank you. Thank you. - No, you look--

You're looking like you need to eat.

You're looking thin. Here.

It's a funny thing about my current situation.

Weird perk. Unlimited bananas. Super weird.

But--Here. Hold on.

- Stop it. What are you doing?

- Eat a banana. - I don't want a banana.

- Erin, you've gotta eat. - Stop. No.

- They're so good for you. Here. Have a banana.

- What are you doing? I don't want a banana!

- Erin, have a banana. You need to eat.

You're not looking great, and you should eat something.

- I don't wanna eat something.

I wanna know if you are staying with me.

Are you staying here?

- Do you want me to?

Okay. I got it.

- I- - No. Okay.

- No. Don't. - Hey.

- No. - Then this is how we do this.

Alright?

- What? - Do it.

- No - Babe.

- I don't want to. - I--

I think you do.

- Stop. - You have to help me.

- No. - Okay.

- No. - There you go.

- No. No, I don't want to. - Here. Babe.

- I don't want to. - But you kinda do.

- No. - Here. See? It's easy.

Here you go.

- Stop.

No. No.

[muffled cries]

No, Charlie.

Charlie. Charlie!

Charlie! Charlie!

Charlie!

Goddamn it.

[gasps]

Don't do that.

I am not ready for you to go.

[doorbell rings]

- Uh-oh. - No.

- Hey. - Mm-mmm.

- Oh, but, madam, your massage has arrived.

- No. - Come on.

- No. - You love a massage.

Go get your massage.

Come on. Go get your rubdown.

- [beep] - Ugh! Babe.

It's one of those days, man.

You ever just wanna take a flamethrower

to your entire office?

I mean--God. No, of course you don't.

You don't because you are Charlie

and you're sweet and kind and loving

and everyone just adores you.

But I am just-- I'm not that nice. I'm not.

Ugh! And Barbara was making her presentation this morning.

I was like, I am just gonna burn this whole place down

to the fucking ground.

And I know. I know arson is excessive.

That feels like a lot.

And so maybe it's a career change,

but then I can hear your voice being like, "Oh,

you don't like any of your jobs," and you're not wrong.

I don't. And so--I don't know.

On the way home, I was just, like, thinking about it all

and I just kept coming back to "Say Anything."

You know? That movie with Lloyd Dobler.

Lloyd fucking Dobler.

Lloyd Dobler was a kickboxer.

The sport of the future, right?

But he didn't identify as a kickboxer.

And when Diane Court's dad at the end of that movie says,

"Lloyd, what do you wanna do with your life?"

He was like, "I wanna love your daughter.

I'm good at it."

And that--that there, that's the thing.

'Cause I am just like Lloyd Dobler, right?

I am really good at loving you.

Like, that is-- that is it for me.

And I think about my life goals

and I'm just like, I want to have more sex with Charlie

and I want to travel the world with Charlie.

And I want to see all the plays and go to all the shows

and, like, watch all the stupid TV with Charlie.

And I want to eat the most delicious food in the world.

And I want to have all the banana splits in the world

with you, Charlie.

And I wanna adopt a dog with you.

And I wanna learn how to do Sudoku or Suduku

or whatever that puzzle is that I can't figure out.

But I want to with you.

I just wanna do it all with you because I'm good at it.

And that's what I wanna do.

And I just--I really felt the need to tell you that

even though you're gonna be home in, like, 14 minutes,

which I'm very excited about.

In fact, I'll give you a sneak preview.

I love you. See you soon.

- Okay, Erin, take a big inhale...

and release it down.

Good.

Good.

One more time.

And release. Good.

Okay. Is that pressure okay?

- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, you're holding on to so much.

Take a deep breath and let go.

- You're holding on too tight. You need to let go.

[serene music]

♪♪♪

[moaning]

Just let go.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

[moaning]

- Oh! How was your massage?

- Uh...

you tell me.

- Why are you asking me?

- Don't do that.

- What? - No. Don't.

You're fucking with me right now. Stop.

- What? I don't know what you're talking about.

This is getting weird, right?

Not knowing what's real and what's not.

- Are you-- Are you trying to tell me

that that didn't just happen in there?

- What do you think happened?

- I think you just fucked my brains out.

- Hmm. - It was amazing.

- What you writing? - Nothing.

- Whoa. Now we have secrets?

- No. Whatever Charlie. It's--Like, this is for me.

This is mine. It's okay

if I have something that is just mine.

- Oh, okay. So we just had, like, some Whoopi Goldberg,

Demi Moore, Patrick Swayze "Ghost" threesome moment.

But you're--Now you're shy about your diary?

- What? No, Charlie. Charlie, stop. Charlie. No.

Stop.

- Seriously?

Mm-hmm. [clears throat] Let's see.

- Charlie.

- "God, it felt so good to cum."

- Stop it. Stop it, Charlie. - "Release on so many levels.

I feel guilty. I'm gonna--" You didn't feel that guilty.

I was--I remember. [laughs]

"Is this my life now?

Am I going to stay out here in Joshua Tree

and have sex with my dead husband

through whacked-out desert healers?"

- Charlie. - "Fuck. What is happening?

Am I losing my mind?

But I liked it."

- It's my journal, okay? It's not supposed to be read.

It's mine.

- I get it. I totally get it.

And I don't know what to say.

- I'm sorry.

- You're not the only one losing someone.

And you're not the only one missing someone.

Do you have any idea what I would give

to live out the rest of your life with you?

You know how much it hurts me

to know that you are going to keep on living

and having experiences without me?

Fuck, man. We were supposed to do those things together.

That was the plan, right?

And I get it. I get it. It sucks not knowing.

But you know what? I don't know either. Okay?

I don't know. I don't know what happens after this.

I don't know what happens to me without you.

Okay? I don't know what happens...

next.

I don't know what I am.

[serene music]

- What are you doing? - [doorbell rings]

- Gotta get her outta here. That's why I wanna see if-

Let's get her out, have some fun, you know.

- Hi. - Ooh.

You're gonna need pants.

- Okay. You'll ride with me.

- You know what? I got this. Let me go.

I'm gonna let Jesus take the wheel. Huh?

- Alright. That's what I'm talking about. Yes.

- I'm going to let Jesus be my copilot.

- All right. - [Erin squeals] Let's go.

["Happy Trails" intro]

♪♪♪

♪ Happy trails to you ♪

♪ Until we meet again ♪

♪ Happy trails to you ♪

♪ Keep smiling until then ♪

♪ Who cares about the clouds when we're together? ♪

♪ Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather ♪

♪ Happy trails to you ♪

♪ Till we meet again ♪

This is fun.

- [phone ringing] - [thud]

Are you not gonna stay?

- Do you have any idea what I would give

to live out the rest of your life with you?

- There's nothing fucking good about this, Charlie.

- ...and you should eat something.

- You fucking stop. - You need to eat.

- Are you staying here?

Do you how much it hurts me to know

that you are going to keep on living

and having experiences without me? Fuck!

- Charlie!

It's like the only thing that my brain goes to.

It's the only thing I see.

- We were supposed to do those things together.

- He was right here this whole time.

- I don't know what's next.

And I don't know what happens tomorrow.

♪ Until we meet ♪

♪ Again ♪

- Erin! Stop!

[thud]

[serene music]

- Oh, wow.

Yikes.

Eww.

[sighs]

- There she is.

- Oh, my God, Mom! - My girl.

- Mom, what are you doing here?

- Marshall told me, honey. You hit the wall?

- I hit a wall. I hit a rock.

- Please, let me look at you. - This was all an accident.

- Shh, shh, shh. Let me look at you.

- I'm fine. - Darling, you're not fine.

- I am. I'm okay. - Oh, please.

Give me your bag. Give me your bag.

Now, I am going to take you out for the afternoon.

- No. No. I'm okay. - Yes. Yes, I am.

We are going to have fun.

You can be miserable and still have fun.

I do it all the time. What are you wearing?

- I just went to the store. - It's okay. It's okay.

I'm sure it's appropriate somewhere.

You have to go change.

I'm sorry. You cannot wear that ever again.

Just a note from Mother.

- Okay. - Thank you.

- Okay. Okay. - Alright. I'm here.

- Okay. - Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead.

- Hooray. Diane's here.

- [country music playing] - [bell jingles]

- Oh, this is fabulous. Isn't this fabulous?

Don't you just love-- Oh. Oh, God, darling.

Look. Look. Remember your bird collection?

Did you do that ♪ do do ♪?

- Melissa had the bird collection, Mom.

- Oh.

Well, okay.

Honey, did I ever tell you

about that TWA flight your father was almost on?

- Nope. You did not.

- Well, it crashed.

- Jesus Christ, Mom. What?

- Yeah, no, no. It was one of your-

- How have I not heard this story?

- Timing is everything. I'm telling it to you now.

Your father was on one of his, you know--his many--

Oh, my God. Mondale. Ho ho. Boy.

So, your father was on one of his many business trips.

I say goodbye to him in the morning.

I went to the office later in the day.

I'm looking. Everybody's gathered

around the television set, and I say, "What's going on?"

And it seems that flight whatever,

the one your father always took to Tulsa, crashed.

- Oh, my God. - Yeah.

- Oh, my God. - Yeah. No. Awful. Terrible.

But--And, um--

And this is the really crazy part.

There was just-- just a second--

just a second there where I was excited.

Yeah. I know. I know.

But I was-- I was excited because--

because I just--I could see this whole new future

in front of me.

Well, then your father called

and he'd been pulled back into the office.

So he missed the flight. He wasn't on it.

And, well, I was relieved.

- Oh, thank God. - No, no, no, darling.

I was relieved. And I was happy. So happy.

But I-- There was just a part of me

that was bummed.

- You were bummed? - Bummed.

- You were bummed that dad didn't die in a plane crash?

- No, no, no, no.

I wouldn't--No. It was the future.

- I know what you're doing right now, but I just can't.

- I didn't see the future anymore.

I had no--I-- I had no future anymore.

- I can't. I'm gonna-- I gotta--I'll be in the car.

[bell jingles]

- I--Well, I thought that was a good story.

[ballad playing on radio]

- ♪ Understand ♪

♪ The way you looking at me now ♪

This is my part. Ready?

♪ Baby, there is no peace of mind ♪

♪ Just because ♪

♪ I knew all the time ♪

♪ I've done it the way that I feel ♪

♪ Ooh, baby ♪

♪ It was really real, real, real, yeah ♪

♪ I knew ♪

♪ All along ♪

Yes, I did.

♪ I knew ♪

♪ All along ♪

[song stops]

- Thank you.

- Listen, darling.

I never told you the real reason

why your father and I got divorced.

[scoffs]

- It wasn't because you were bummed

that he didn't die in that plane crash, Mom?

- No. - It feels

like a red flag to me.

- Oh, come on. - It feels like maybe...

- Stop. - ...things weren't great.

Erin, your father and I divorced

because he had an affair. Yes.

- What? - Probably one of many.

Boy, I'll tell you, darling, you think you know them.

You love them. You trust them. And--Oh, well.

- This is taking a turn here. You hear what's happening?

- Oh, come on now. There must have been times

when you thought Charlie--

- What? - What you trying to say?

- Darling. - What you trying to say?

- Men think they have gold-plated penises.

- Oh, my God! Mom! - There's no stopping them.

- Stop! - Alright.

- Stop it!

I cannot with you.

- Oh. - God!

- Erin!

- Oh, God. - CHARLIE: You never liked me.

- I told you. She never liked me.

- You never liked him. - It's not true.

That is just not-- Everybody liked Charlie.

He's handsome. He's charming. He's black and that's it.

- Mother! - But you--

you, who worshiped your father, deified Charlie.

You deified him.

And maybe that's not the truth of who he was.

- Truth of who I was? How would she know

the truth of who I was? You didn't even know me.

- You didn't know him, Mom. You didn't know him.

You decided since the day we met

that what, because he was so handsome and charming

and because he loved me, that all of a sudden

that made him some kind of piece-of-shit bad guy?

- No. Stop this. This is not what's going on.

- What then, Mom? What? What is it?

- This is just-- It's just fucking crazy.

- This is insane. - Look, sweetheart.

Please, please listen to me.

All I am trying to do is open your mind

to looking beyond Charlie so that you can move on.

- It's been a month. - It's been a month.

It's been a month.

Listen. It's fine.

You can vilify dad all you want. He's alive.

But Charlie-- Charlie is dead, okay?

An artery in his brain just decided to go,

and he's gone now.

But our love--

our love was huge.

It was big. It was a once-in-a-lifetime love.

And that is just something that you'll never understand.

- No, my baby. - I don't know what to do.

- My baby. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. I do understand.

I do understand. God.

I used to feel that way about your father. I did. I did.

And you, my sweet, beautiful child...

are so beautiful and so young.

And it's a long life.

- CHARLIE: Ha!

- Think about your future, darling.

You can't hide out in the desert forever.

You just can't. Come home.

Please, maybe me see a therapist.

- Oh, my God, Mother. No! No! - Let me help you.

- CHARLIE: ♪ I knew all the time ♪

♪ That we can be friends ♪

♪ On down the line ♪

♪ And, baby, there is no peace of mind ♪

♪ Just because ♪

♪ I knew all the time ♪

♪ That I've done it ♪

♪ The way that I feel ♪

♪ Ooh, baby ♪

♪ It was really real, real, real ♪

♪ I knew ♪

♪ All the time ♪

♪ Yes, I did ♪

♪ I knew all along ♪

[grunts]

- Charlie!

- Did you hear about the woman

who got lost out here?

They never found her.

- Take a deep breath and let go.

- You'll probably never get over this. How could you?

- Charlie?

- You're holding on too tight.

Boo! Hey. [laughs]

You need to let go.

It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay.

Hey, you're fine.

I'm right here. Erin. Erin, it's okay.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, here I am.

[whimpers]

- Charlie!

[Erin screaming]

[sobbing]

[crickets chirping]

[crying]

- Birdie.

[crying]

- Okay. Okay. - [crying continues]

It's okay. It's okay.

You know, getting sober...

was one of the hardest things I'd ever done in my life.

And I came out in the eighties,

so that probably explains my lack of sobriety.

It's all tangled up, I'm sure.

It's just--

I couldn't imagine...

staring life right in the eye,

just me,

with nothing holding me up.

And it was gonna kill me.

And I didn't wanna die...

because life is just too fucking beautiful, sweet girl.

I don't know the answer that is right for you.

Only you know that.

You need to find it.

You cannot continue to slip away.

[serene music]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

- I have to confess something to you.

I don't like your mom very much.

[laughs]

- I knew that. - I don't.

She is a self-righteous lunatic.

- Yeah, she is.

- But she was right.

I cheated on you.

A couple of times.

Like, a lot of times.

And, um--

I don't know. It was just there and...

it was so easy and you were so hard.

And I just--Listen. You can't be laughing right now.

I am literally baring my soul to you.

And you should be furious, so...

- No.

No. No. I know what you're doing.

I don't know what you're talking about.

- You're full of shit. You're a terrible liar.

You're a terrible liar. I see you.

I know that you are trying to make it easier for me,

but don't do that.

I know you. I know you.

You're a good man.

And you love me.

- And I love you. I love you so much more

than I ever thought was even possible to love somebody

the way I love you.

I also know...

that I have to walk away.

I have to be the one.

I had it wrong this whole time.

I was worried.

Were you gonna leave or were you gonna stay?

You can't leave.

It's me. I have to be the one to move on.

But it's not 'cause you're a bad guy.

It's because I lost you.

And it's gonna fucking kill me...

for a little while.

But I'm gonna be okay.

And I might even be a little excited.

Is that okay?

- Yes.

Yeah, it's okay.

- Yeah?

I love you.

- I love you.

[kisses]

[guitar ballad intro]

♪ MAN: Whoa ♪

♪ It's a long way home ♪

♪ And this road, it's full of obstacles ♪

♪ It's taken me a little while ♪

♪ To see ♪

♪ That you've been by my side this whole time ♪

♪ With me ♪

♪ You've been with me ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Where do we go from here? ♪

♪ So show me something ♪

♪ It's not very clear ♪

♪ It's taken me a little while ♪

♪ To see ♪

♪ That you've been by my side this whole time ♪

♪ With me ♪

♪ You've been with me ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ You've been with me ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ You've been with me ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ You've been with me ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ You've been with me ♪

[song ends]

[serene music]

♪♪♪