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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,520 Deadly dinos, laser beams, putrid plants, cool machines 2 00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:07,160 Potty planets, moody moons, strange science, big booms 3 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:08,640 Experiments that make you hurl 4 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:09,960 Visitors from other worlds 5 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,720 Earth's core, stinky space, the future of the human race 6 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,280 Science that did not go right Things to keep you up at night 7 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:16,840 Biology with stings and fangs 8 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,240 Chemistry that stinks and bangs 9 00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:20,800 Freaky physics, we do that 10 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,320 Quantum gravity What's that? 11 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,320 Weird and gross stuff you should know 12 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:31,640 Welcome to the Horrible Science show. 13 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,760 Horribly Scientific Movies presents... 14 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,240 Wrong Material Fairy Tales, 15 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,000 featuring the legendary stories you love, 16 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:49,520 magically retold, using the wrong materials for the job... 17 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,840 There you are, Your Majesty. Your mirror is ready. 18 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,280 ..like Snow White. 19 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,200 Mirror, mirror on the wall 20 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,400 Who is the fairest of them all? 21 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,200 How would I know? I can't see anything. 22 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,720 Why is the mirror made of wood? 23 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,600 Well, Your Majesty, you told me that wood was good for furniture, so... 24 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,760 Yes, for things like tables and chairs, 25 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,200 because it is strong and long-lasting. 26 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,000 Obviously, a mirror needs to be made of glass, 27 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:19,160 which is transparent, and backed with metal, which is shiny. 28 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,440 Might as well chop that up into firewood. 29 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,080 Harsh. My bad, Your Majesty. 30 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,680 Obviously, don't worry about paying me. Oh, I wasn't. 31 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,760 Unrelated - here, have a poisoned apple. 32 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,480 A what apple? 33 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,360 A normal apple. 34 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:40,000 I can't believe he didn't see that coming. 35 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,680 QUEEN CACKLES 36 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,640 Also featuring Hansel & Gretel. 37 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,800 So hungry. We haven't eaten in three days. 38 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,280 You are the one who threw our bread on the floor. 39 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,160 I was leaving a trail! Oh, ja? 40 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,800 Cos wild birds and animals famously leave food alone 41 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,880 when they find it lying around in the forest. 42 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,400 HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY 43 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:02,000 Ooh, a cottage! Maybe we can eat that. 44 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,520 Wait, what? How are you going to eat a cottage? 45 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:05,720 That makes no sense. 46 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,320 Ow! My teeth! 47 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:13,800 Why did you do that? I thought it would be gingerbread. 48 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,160 Why would it be gingerbread? 49 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:17,840 That's a terrible material to make a house out of. 50 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,440 You need something strong and durable like these bricks. 51 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,720 Oh! Urgh, stupid! 52 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,720 All the tales you love... 53 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,000 Children? 54 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,240 What's wrong with my delicious brick house? 55 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:31,440 ..told with the wrong materials... 56 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,280 Ow! OK, I get it. 57 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:37,760 ..like Jack & The Beanstalk... 58 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:40,400 You're never going to get me, giant. Ha-ha! 59 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,560 OK, mental note. 60 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,880 Next time, buy the metal axe and not the rubber one. 61 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:49,320 Fee-fi-fo-fum! 62 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,200 JACK SCREAMS 63 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,040 ..and, of course, Cinderella. 64 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:58,560 I will marry whoever can fit this elastic slipper upon their foot. 65 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,240 You what? Narrow it down, mate. 66 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,640 An elastic slipper's going to fit everyone. 67 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,240 Ha! Wow! 68 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,960 Hee-hee-hee! My turn! I'm not sure that's how it works. 69 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,800 I think it fit her. 70 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,280 Stop it! 71 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:15,680 Your favourite fairy tales, made in the wrong way, 72 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:16,920 coming soon. 73 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,960 Ah, yeah! That's right, I'm buzzing! 74 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,880 I've just been hitting up some plants for some tasty, sweet nectar, 75 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:31,840 get me? Ha-ha-ha! Did you know plants actually produce more nectar 76 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:35,880 when they hear us bees giving them the old buzz-buzz? You do now! 77 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:37,080 Boom! 78 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,680 Watch out, though - not all plants are friendly. 79 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,720 Some can be well dangerous, 80 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,840 and you can tell those guys to buzz right off. Ha-ha-ha! 81 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,400 BOUNCE Argh! 82 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,560 Window! I hate those things. 83 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,280 I don't think there's anything more peaceful 84 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,600 than a garden centre, Jackie. 85 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,920 Oh, I don't think so, 86 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,440 all these lovely plants. 87 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,640 Best of all, someone else has to water them. 88 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,760 WOMAN: I need everyone to take cover! 89 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,680 Set up a perimeter from the compost to the cafe! 90 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,160 What's going on? Please get back! This is a hazard zone. 91 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,000 Remain behind the wheelbarrow! What? Who are you? 92 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,280 Explosive plant disposal. Explosive plant? 93 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,520 That's right. It's our job 94 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,480 to prevent plants from exploding. 95 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,040 Right now, we're the only people standing 96 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,000 in the way of this place going boom 97 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,640 and this place...not...not going boom. 98 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,040 What have we got, chief? 99 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:23,680 Chinese witch hazel. 100 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,720 What? Oh, it's so pretty. 101 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,200 Sorry. Pretty explosive, more like. 102 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:32,120 Chinese witch hazel has a hard, fuzzy fruit. 103 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,040 When that plant's ready to release its seeds, 104 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,320 the outer layer shrinks, 105 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,880 squeezing the seeds inside, 106 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,160 with explosive results. 107 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,760 But why would a plant want to explode? 108 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,360 Because the explosion helps the plant spread its seeds 109 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,880 over a wider distance. 110 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,000 The further the seeds go, 111 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,560 the less they have to compete with the parent plant for sunshine, 112 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,400 water and nutrients. 113 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,760 Oh, that is fascinating. Get back! 114 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,000 I've seen these things spray up to 18 metres. 115 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,320 I am approaching the plant. She's approaching the plant right now. 116 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,920 I am lifting the plant. She's lifting the plant, over. 117 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,040 I am taking the plant to a safe place. 118 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,520 She's taking the plant to a safe place. 119 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,280 EXPLOSION Oh, my goodness! 120 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:15,880 Controlled explosion complete. 121 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,400 Oh, you beauty! 122 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,320 Right. Well, if that's all, we'll... 123 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,040 Nobody move! 124 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,360 I think we've got another problem. 125 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,160 Is that what I think it is? Do you think it's a pumpkin? 126 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,000 That's no pumpkin, darling. 127 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,360 That is the fruit of the sandbox tree. 128 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:36,080 Once they dry out into seed capsules they become ticking time bombs. 129 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,400 And, when they explode, 130 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,640 they can fling their seeds up to 150mph. 131 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,960 I'm going to jump on it. 132 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,200 No! Save yourself! 133 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,640 SQUELCH Oh! 134 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,000 Oh, OK. That one was just a pumpkin... Yeah. 135 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,440 ..probably put there by someone as a hoax. 136 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,880 Pumpkin hoax, another one. If you want to dispose of anything, 137 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,040 maybe you should start with those weeds. 138 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,280 Do you see what I see? 139 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:05,480 Jewelweed. Oh! Not again. 140 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:09,600 If anything so much as touches the ripe seed pods on this weed, 141 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,720 they burst open, flinging seeds all over the place. 142 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:16,120 And, if a seed hits another pod, it could start a chain reaction, 143 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,440 meaning... Seed supernova. 144 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,400 I'm going to cut... 145 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,000 ..green. 146 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,040 Trust your instincts. I mean, they're all green. 147 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,280 Nice one. Hang on, 148 00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,320 you said the seed pod was the explosive bit, 149 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:47,360 so cutting the stalk will just cause the seed pod to drop and explode. 150 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:50,160 No, no, no, no! Run for cover! 151 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,280 I'm not sure they were real police. No. 152 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,560 Philip! 153 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:10,320 I asked you to get me a shrinking machine, not to shrink a machine. 154 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,840 What am I...? Wait, 155 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,720 why doesn't it smell of death in here? 156 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,160 And why is it so tidy? 157 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:21,280 Oh, no! Mummy? 158 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,800 Ah! 159 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,800 Dr Big Brain, 160 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:28,320 I've been expecting you, 161 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,720 ten minutes ago. What time do you call this, eh? 162 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,760 Mummy, what are you doing here? 163 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:37,280 Well, firstly, I worry about my baby boy. 164 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,400 How's the tummy troubles? STOMACH RUMBLES 165 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,280 You just tell Mumsy if you need to go number two, yeah? 166 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:46,480 And, secondly, I have hatched a plan 167 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,800 to use a complex chemical reaction 168 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:53,320 to harness the power of the sun itself! 169 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,440 Really? You got my death laser working? 170 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,000 Ah! 171 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:03,880 No, I grew some tomatoes. I harnessed the power of the sun, 172 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:07,360 along with some water and carbon dioxide from the air to grow them. 173 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,320 It's just photosynthesis. Philip! 174 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,800 Who gave my mother a remote control? 175 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,280 I've done all this for you, sweetie pie. 176 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,080 I know you find it tricky to poo sometimes, 177 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,320 and tomatoes are full of vitamins 178 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,160 and fibre that will help keep you regular. 179 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,880 Philip, take a walk with me! Don't worry, 180 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,680 I'm not cross. I just need you to test 181 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,800 my new intergalactic trampoline. 182 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,800 Sounds... Whoa! 183 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:36,960 So sad. I don't think I'll ever get over his death, 184 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,040 and yet I have. Well, then, 185 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:44,240 would you like to see the results of my cloning experiments? 186 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,680 Cloning? Oh, I've never been able to perfect cloning. 187 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:51,080 Just look at Sonia and Sonia 2. 188 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,760 Absolutely rubbish. 189 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:03,600 Well, my cloning experiments have been most rewarding. 190 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,880 SHE CACKLES EVILLY 191 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:10,120 BOTH CACKLE 192 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,760 Ta-da! 193 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,880 You cloned apples? Oh, yeah. 194 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,600 All the well-known varieties of apples are clones. 195 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,840 I don't care about fruit! 196 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,560 Well, maybe if you did, 197 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,280 you wouldn't get so bunged up bottom-wise, eh? 198 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,880 I can see you're having a bad day, poppet, 199 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,120 so I'm going to save the news 200 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,600 about my genetic engineering project for another time, 201 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:30,920 all right, sweetie? 202 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,440 No, no, no, I'm not falling for that one, Mummy. 203 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,400 Ooh, what's inside? Don't open that! 204 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,280 HE PARPS Oh! Oh! 205 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,840 Yeah, that's where I've put my genetically engineered tree monster. 206 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:43,960 Hello, tree monster. 207 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,320 Hello! Ooh! Agh! PARPING CONTINUES 208 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,320 Have you gone plopsies? 209 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:49,880 Who needs tomatoes and apples 210 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,400 when I can just get you to poop your pants with fright, eh? 211 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,960 SHE CACKLES Stop laughing! 212 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,160 Well, I came prepared. 213 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,280 Look, your favourite knick-knocks. 214 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,960 No, Mummy, I don't need those. 215 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:02,920 I'll just wash my pants in this. Oh, who am I kidding? 216 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,960 Give me those. Mummy knows best. 217 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,840 Worst day ever! 218 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,920 You have to watch out for tree monsters, like Twiggy here. 219 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,720 They make for difficult pets. 220 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,680 Their bite's worse than their bark, if you know what I mean. 221 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,800 Isn't that right, Twiggy? 222 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,600 Who's an angry little tree monster? Yes, you are. 223 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,720 Yes, you are. Yes, you... Anyway, every creature is different, 224 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,480 and that's because they've all evolved different features, 225 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,640 depending on what's useful to them. 226 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,880 Argh! Especially for defence! 227 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,040 Argh! 228 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,400 Students... 229 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,280 ..welcome to the dojo. 230 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,640 Are you ready to learn how to defend yourself, 231 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,000 like the greatest warriors in the animal kingdom? 232 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,080 ALL: Yes, sensei. 233 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:53,760 Then, prepare to take on the snail, the snake and the crab. 234 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,200 You what? Marcus, step forward. 235 00:10:56,200 --> 00:11:00,960 Attack me, and I shall defend myself like the cone snail. 236 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,240 Begin! 237 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,360 Huh? 238 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,960 Where did he go? 239 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,840 Hold on. Where did this come from? 240 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,640 SENSEI BITES, MARCUS SCREAMS 241 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:12,960 You just bit my leg! 242 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:16,000 The cone snail has a shell fortress it can retreat into, 243 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,360 and a tooth with which it can paralyse its enemy's muscles. 244 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,160 What? Are you saying that you paralysed my...? 245 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,320 Ah! 246 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,000 Next up, camouflage. 247 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,960 They can't hurt you if they can't find you. 248 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,000 Bethan! Yes, sensei? Begin. 249 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,600 The decorator crab sticks things it finds to itself 250 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,000 to blend in with the local landscape. 251 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,360 The crab uses tiny, Velcro-like hairs, 252 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,280 but I don't have those, so I use superglue. 253 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:47,760 You know I can still see you? 254 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,680 Yeah, and can I have my shoe back, please, mate? Er... 255 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:53,600 No, you can't. 256 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:58,200 Theo, attack me and I shall use the hognose snake defence. 257 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,840 I'm only here because I've got some lessons as a birthday present. 258 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,760 Begin! Uh... 259 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,600 Huh! Kyeh! Huh? 260 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,560 When threatened, the hognose snake pretends to be dead. 261 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,600 He does this by throwing up... 262 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,840 SENSEI RETCHES 263 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,400 ..and also by doing a poo. 264 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,680 SENSEI PARPS 265 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,160 Urgh! 266 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,800 I have obtained total victory! 267 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,200 And that's home time. 268 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,720 Come on, Marcus, let's get you out of here. 269 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,000 Phwoar! That's it, lads. Come on, you can do it! 270 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,080 Don't forget to pay your subs on Friday. 271 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,920 Doctor, I've got two patients out here 272 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,080 who want to talk about their big bills. 273 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:42,240 Bills? You don't have to pay to visit your GP, Martin. 274 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,040 No, the duck bills on their faces. 275 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,640 G'day, doctor. All right, mate? 276 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:50,000 Mr Platypus, Mrs Platypus, welcome. 277 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:53,440 Call me Platters, doc, everybody does. And I'm Stan. 278 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,920 Do you want some larvae, doc, 279 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,920 fresh from the riverbed this morning? 280 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,720 Ooh! Ew! 281 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,800 Thank you. So, what seems to be the problem? 282 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,280 Everyone says we're weird, and they're right! 283 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:09,680 What even are we? Well, technically, you're mammals. 284 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:13,920 I told you, Stan, mammals. Stan thought we were ducks gone wrong. 285 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,960 Why do I have this bill, then? That's not mammal-y. 286 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,440 That's straight up bird-y! 287 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,880 I do something bird-y, too, doc. Watch this. 288 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:28,400 I lay eggs! Yeah. You can't get much birdier than that, am I right? 289 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,440 And I've got blooming spikes 290 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,160 on my back legs that shoot venom. 291 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,000 Not many mammals have venom, mate. 292 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,920 And I'd like to talk about my... 293 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,080 WHISPERING: ..nipples. 294 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:43,000 I don't have any, but I still have to make milk for my babies, 295 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,760 so I sweat it out, 296 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,240 and it just makes a pool on my tummy 297 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,120 for my babies to drink. 298 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,080 How freaky is that, doc? 299 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,840 She's laying eggs and sweating milk. 300 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,240 Explain that! 301 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,880 Ahem! 302 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,920 I'm going to level with you, Mr and Mrs Platypus. 303 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:03,000 You are unusual. I knew it! 304 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,720 That's why the koalas haven't been returning my calls. 305 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,360 You're monotremes, 306 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,400 which means egg-laying mammals. 307 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:10,800 Ooh, fancy! 308 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:14,560 You're so odd that the first time scientists in Britain saw you, 309 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,120 they thought you were a hoax. 310 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,160 But they don't think that now. Phew! 311 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,320 Now, they know you're marvels. 312 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,560 We are? Yes, you're egg-laying mammals 313 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,560 who sweat milk and have venom in their feet. 314 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,120 So, stick out those bills and be proud. 315 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:33,440 Oh, thanks, doc. We needed to hear that. 316 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,600 We'll waddle a bit taller today. 317 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,600 Aw, bring it in, doc. 318 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,480 Aw! Ooh! 319 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,200 Oh. Sorry, doc, did I nick you there with a bit of spike venom? 320 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,480 Eeh! Agh! Ugh! Ow! Ooh! 321 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:47,760 Ooh! 322 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,520 Humans are weird, eh? Mmm. 323 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,440 When Police Detective Loofah is on the case, 324 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,680 he'll do anything to solve the crime, 325 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,400 as long as he's had his coffee. 326 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,200 Where's Loofah? There's been a major robbery. 327 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,720 He's on his way in with PC Barker. 328 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,480 Right. Well, as soon as... 329 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,400 Wait a second, we don't have a PC Barker. 330 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,800 Get me a coffee, and a bowl for this one! 331 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,680 All right, PC Barker, sit. 332 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,400 I'm not even going to ask. 333 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,200 Listen, Loofah, there's been a major theft. 334 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,800 Too right there has. A cookie has gone missing out of my desk drawer. 335 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,240 We've got a dirty copper, 336 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,440 and I'm not talking about PC Barker's paws. 337 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,920 One of Loofah's favourite biscuits went missing. 338 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,920 A delicious crime, 339 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,560 and Barker is going to help root out the villain. 340 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:33,400 You see, a dog's sense of smell is up to 100,000 times better 341 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,880 than the average human. 342 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,720 Right, sniff it. No, sniff it. 343 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,880 No, don't eat it. 344 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:45,000 Oh, there goes the evidence! Loofah, can we please just focus? 345 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,920 Hold on a sec, guv. 346 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:50,920 Why is PC Barker interested in your office? 347 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,600 What have you done? 348 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:58,480 Well, I had just been to the canteen to buy my breakfast. 349 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,160 It looks like I'm going to have to go back again now. 350 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,680 Barker does love a fry-up. 351 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,920 Loofah, there is an actual important case we need to talk about. 352 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,240 I know it's an important case. 353 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,400 That's why I've assembled an important team. 354 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,960 PC Barker might be able to sniff out a villain 355 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,920 but if you want to spot one, you're going to need DI Bird. 356 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,280 And I'm assuming... Yeah, he's a bird. 357 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,440 BIRD CALLS OUTSIDE Mallory, let him in. 358 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,440 You see, DI Bird is an eagle 359 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,040 and can see four to five times better than humans. 360 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,360 Loofah, can we please talk about the real case? 361 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,800 No, we need to search this entire station 362 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,400 for my biscuit, guv. 363 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,040 That's why I've brought a heavyweight on the team. 364 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,240 ELEPHANT TRUMPETS Meet DS Large. 365 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,360 She'll get a proper feel for the case. 366 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,560 She's got 400,000 touch-sensitive nerves in her trunk. 367 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,680 We've only got about 2,500 368 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,880 in our fingertips. Loofah, please. 369 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,160 And, lastly, meet Constable Bats. 370 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,040 She's got exceptional hearing, 371 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,000 although she prefers to work in the dark. 372 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,640 Quite the team you've put together there, Loofah... Thank you. 373 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:59,000 ..to find a biscuit I saw you eat yesterday with your coffee. 374 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,680 ELEPHANT TRUMPETS 375 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:01,920 Oh, yeah! 376 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,720 Case closed. Well done! Well done, guys! 377 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:11,520 That's it. Ha-ha-ha! Actually, it's two cases closed. Two? Yeah. 378 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,960 The case I wanted to talk to you about was the disappearance 379 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,120 of several animals from the zoo. 380 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:18,840 Can you guess what those animals might be? 381 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:19,880 Oh. 382 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,920 Guv, I'm going to need a zoo ticket. 383 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,800 Yeah, I thought you might. Come on, you guys! 384 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,080 Mallory. I'll get you a coffee. Ooh, and get me 40 packets 385 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,920 of biscuits as well. DS Large is looking kind of hungry. 386 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,240 ELEPHANT TRUMPETS 387 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,400 Oi-oi, it's me, the sun! 388 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,280 Come here! Give us a hug. 389 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,600 No, don't. You'll be burnt to a crisp. 390 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:47,400 Anyway, I'm made up of lots of hydrogen, 391 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,440 the universe's simplest element. 392 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:54,400 Now, there are loads more elements in our solar system, 118 in total, 393 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:55,800 and I can name them all! 394 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:56,920 There's hydrogen... 395 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,320 ..and another 117. 396 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,640 Luckily, you lot made it easier to remember 397 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,000 by putting them all together in a big table. 398 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,080 Let's meet some of its fans, eh? 399 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,080 Ooh, hydrogen! Did I say that one? Yeah, I think I did. 400 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,520 Well, they said they had a solution for their midfield, 401 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,640 but I'd take that with a pinch of salt. 402 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,840 Wise words, Alan. Let's see what that means for the table. 403 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,480 Well, hydrogen's still there at the top, 404 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,960 closely followed by helium, 405 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:28,280 and at the bottom it's all getting radioactive. 406 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,560 Micah, do you see anything changing? I don't really, Gabby. 407 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,880 The table has barely changed for 150 years, is it? 408 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,040 Well, there you have it. No change in the periodic table. 409 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,920 Join us again next time for more chemical action and reaction. 410 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,640 Exciting! I'm in my element. 411 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,720 This is such a great idea, brah. 412 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,560 Thanks, brah. Not just a pretty face. 413 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,440 Only problem is, no-one's stuck to it yet, though. Yeah. 414 00:18:58,520 --> 00:18:59,960 No. No, not working. 415 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,880 Oh, hi, there! We're not vampires or anything, 416 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:05,920 but we've totally found out that human blood contains metal. 417 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:10,040 Yeah, but which metal is in your bloodstream right now? 418 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,080 Is it...? 419 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,560 Quick, here comes another one. 420 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,000 Hey! None of them are sticking to it. 421 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,520 Agh! I mean, not that we're trying to catch humans 422 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,880 with a giant magnet or anything. We're not vampires. 423 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,040 Right, time's up. The answer was all three of them. 424 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:32,360 Your blood contains chromium, iron, gold and zinc. 425 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,320 Then why aren't they sticking to the magnet? 426 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,520 Well, it might be that there's only, like, a tiny amount of each, 427 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,800 and only iron's magnetic anyway. 428 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,880 Well, this is a total waste of time. 429 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,800 Ow! Argh! 430 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,680 They make up almost everything in the universe, 431 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:49,480 from a mountain to a lettuce. 432 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,360 They're wearing costumes three sizes too small for them. 433 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:55,000 They are the Elemental Gladiators. 434 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,880 I'm Silver. 435 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,520 I'm Iron. Grr! 436 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,280 Argh! 437 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,480 And this is Uranium. 438 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,880 ROARING: I'm Uranium. 439 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,280 I just said that. 440 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,080 The heaviest element found naturally on earth, 441 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,440 he's going to be unstoppable on Hang Tough. 442 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:18,840 Oh! 443 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:19,920 Or maybe not. 444 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,960 Next up, can you cope with Copernicium? 445 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,440 She'll destroy you, unless she gets destroyed first, 446 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,840 which is pretty likely because she decays in less than a minute. 447 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,320 She's also a liquid at room temperature, 448 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,560 which makes her a health and safety nightmare in the arena. 449 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:37,680 Bradley, get them off! 450 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,520 Argh! You don't want to make an enemy of Antimony, 451 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,240 or Sb for short. 452 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,680 He was used in make-up for thousands of years, 453 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,560 since ancient Egyptian times, 454 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,200 and that's not all he's been used for. 455 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,200 Yeah, it was. No, it isn't. 456 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,600 Looks like we're out of time. No, we're not. 457 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,800 Antimony was also something people swallowed 458 00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,520 to help them poo more easily. 459 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,120 Let's talk about the make-up again. That was fun. That was nice. 460 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,400 And when he came out the other end, 461 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,880 people would wash him and use him again. 462 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,280 Sounds like the ultimate eliminator to me. 463 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,880 Great. That's really gonna help up my street cred. Cheers. 464 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,360 Be proud of who you are, Antimony. 465 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,000 Finally, the end is nigh - 466 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,280 it's Nitrogen, 467 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:17,880 one of our most common elements. 468 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,960 He's in our air, and he's one cool customer. 469 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:24,240 Liquid Nitrogen is so cold, he can cause frostbite. 470 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,320 He's also a big part of why your wee smells. 471 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,160 So, thanks... That's gross. ..I guess. 472 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,120 And he's a vital part of the explosive dynamite. 473 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:36,760 Dynamite ready. Not you, Dynamite. Wrong show. 474 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,920 Oh, right, sorry. Who are you? 475 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,680 I'm the thing that makes dynamite so explosive. 476 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,760 Without me, you'd be nothing. 477 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:46,920 What did you say? 478 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,280 Ooh, is that Bradley and/or Barney Walsh over there? 479 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,400 I'm going to go. 480 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,760 Well, I guess that's one way out of the danger zone. 481 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:56,240 Elemental Gladiators - they're dynamite. 482 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,360 Not you, Dynamite. 483 00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,840 Sorry. 484 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:04,400 Wow! I wouldn't like to go up against any of those guys on Duel. 485 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:08,320 But that's because if I get hit by one of them pugil sticks, 486 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:13,560 I emit a gas so smelly it can knock out a rhino, 487 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,200 and I don't want to put Bradley Walsh through that. 488 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,880 Elements are great. 489 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,800 My favourites are the heavy metals, 490 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,160 and, as luck would have it, it's time for some heavy metal right now. 491 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,080 HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYS 492 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,240 80% of the periodic table 493 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,600 Metal! Metal! 494 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,960 We do things some other elements aren't able 495 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,080 Metal! Metal! 496 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:47,720 Conductors of heat and electricity 497 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:51,200 We can withstand temperatures of high degrees 498 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,520 If that's not enough, we're pretty and shiny 499 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,840 Metal! Metal! 500 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:01,160 You can bend or shape us any way you choose 501 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,320 Metal! Metal! 502 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:07,920 Stretch us or compress us, man, you just can't lose 503 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,400 Metal! Metal! 504 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,920 Call us malleable Am I making sense? 505 00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:18,080 As elements go I'd say we are immense 506 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:21,640 Yeah, we're so heavy you could call us dense 507 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,840 Metal! Metal! 508 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:30,760 Metal, we're so special 509 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,120 Check us out 510 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,680 Actually, we're not that useful on our own 511 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:45,040 Metal! Metal! 512 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:48,680 Too soft and weak to do much if we're used alone 513 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,880 Metal! Metal! 514 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,200 Our atoms are the same size, so they slide about 515 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,560 But mix us with another and it sorts that out 516 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,840 We become much stronger, let me hear you shout 517 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,600 Alloy! Alloy! 518 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,880 Copper and tin Mix them together! 519 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,000 Super-strong bronze Yeah, pretty clever! 520 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,520 Carbon and iron They make steel 521 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:19,160 Harder and strong It's the real deal 522 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:25,760 Make some noise for the alloys 523 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,880 You can't live without us Yeah, that much is true 524 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:32,640 Metal! Metal! 525 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,000 Bridges, buildings, transport There's so much we do 526 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,160 Metal! Metal! 527 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,640 You won't find us melting when we're in the sun 528 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,160 Apart from mercury But he's the only one 529 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:49,240 Without us, your lives, they wouldn't be much fun 530 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,720 Metal! Metal! 531 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,480 Metal 532 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,640 We're so special 533 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,040 Check us out. 534 00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:04,200 Rargh! 535 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:09,680 Missed it. 536 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,120 Ha-ha-ha-ha! 537 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:14,920 Loofah, please. 538 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:16,960 I can't hit an elephant... 539 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,320 Weird and gross stuff you now know 540 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:25,000 Hope you enjoyed The Horrible Science show. 541 00:25:25,050 --> 00:25:29,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41156

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