Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,520
Deadly dinos, laser beams,
putrid plants, cool machines
2
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:07,160
Potty planets, moody moons,
strange science, big booms
3
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:08,640
Experiments that make you hurl
4
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:09,960
Visitors from other worlds
5
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,720
Earth's core, stinky space,
the future of the human race
6
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,280
Science that did not go right
Things to keep you up at night
7
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:16,840
Biology with stings and fangs
8
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,240
Chemistry that stinks and bangs
9
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:20,800
Freaky physics, we do that
10
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,320
Quantum gravity
What's that?
11
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,320
Weird and gross stuff
you should know
12
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:31,640
Welcome to
the Horrible Science show.
13
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,760
Horribly Scientific Movies
presents...
14
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,240
Wrong Material Fairy Tales,
15
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,000
featuring the legendary stories
you love,
16
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:49,520
magically retold, using
the wrong materials for the job...
17
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,840
There you are, Your Majesty.
Your mirror is ready.
18
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,280
..like Snow White.
19
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,200
Mirror, mirror on the wall
20
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,400
Who is the fairest of them all?
21
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,200
How would I know? I can't see
anything.
22
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,720
Why is the mirror made of wood?
23
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,600
Well, Your Majesty, you told me that
wood was good for furniture, so...
24
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,760
Yes, for things like tables
and chairs,
25
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,200
because it is strong
and long-lasting.
26
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,000
Obviously, a mirror needs to be
made of glass,
27
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:19,160
which is transparent, and backed
with metal, which is shiny.
28
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,440
Might as well chop that up
into firewood.
29
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,080
Harsh. My bad, Your Majesty.
30
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,680
Obviously, don't worry about
paying me. Oh, I wasn't.
31
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,760
Unrelated - here,
have a poisoned apple.
32
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,480
A what apple?
33
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,360
A normal apple.
34
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:40,000
I can't believe he didn't see
that coming.
35
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,680
QUEEN CACKLES
36
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,640
Also featuring Hansel & Gretel.
37
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,800
So hungry. We haven't eaten
in three days.
38
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,280
You are the one who threw our bread
on the floor.
39
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,160
I was leaving a trail! Oh, ja?
40
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,800
Cos wild birds and animals famously
leave food alone
41
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,880
when they find it lying around
in the forest.
42
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,400
HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY
43
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:02,000
Ooh, a cottage!
Maybe we can eat that.
44
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,520
Wait, what? How are you going to eat
a cottage?
45
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:05,720
That makes no sense.
46
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,320
Ow! My teeth!
47
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:13,800
Why did you do that?
I thought it would be gingerbread.
48
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,160
Why would it be gingerbread?
49
00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:17,840
That's a terrible material
to make a house out of.
50
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,440
You need something strong
and durable like these bricks.
51
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,720
Oh! Urgh, stupid!
52
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,720
All the tales you love...
53
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:26,000
Children?
54
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,240
What's wrong with my delicious
brick house?
55
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:31,440
..told with the wrong materials...
56
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,280
Ow! OK, I get it.
57
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:37,760
..like Jack & The Beanstalk...
58
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:40,400
You're never going to get me, giant.
Ha-ha!
59
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,560
OK, mental note.
60
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,880
Next time, buy the metal axe
and not the rubber one.
61
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:49,320
Fee-fi-fo-fum!
62
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,200
JACK SCREAMS
63
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,040
..and, of course, Cinderella.
64
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:58,560
I will marry whoever can fit this
elastic slipper upon their foot.
65
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,240
You what? Narrow it down, mate.
66
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,640
An elastic slipper's
going to fit everyone.
67
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,240
Ha! Wow!
68
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,960
Hee-hee-hee! My turn!
I'm not sure that's how it works.
69
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,800
I think it fit her.
70
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,280
Stop it!
71
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:15,680
Your favourite fairy tales,
made in the wrong way,
72
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:16,920
coming soon.
73
00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,960
Ah, yeah! That's right, I'm buzzing!
74
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,880
I've just been hitting up some
plants for some tasty, sweet nectar,
75
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:31,840
get me? Ha-ha-ha! Did you know
plants actually produce more nectar
76
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:35,880
when they hear us bees giving them
the old buzz-buzz? You do now!
77
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:37,080
Boom!
78
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,680
Watch out, though -
not all plants are friendly.
79
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,720
Some can be well dangerous,
80
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,840
and you can tell those guys
to buzz right off. Ha-ha-ha!
81
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,400
BOUNCE
Argh!
82
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,560
Window! I hate those things.
83
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,280
I don't think there's anything
more peaceful
84
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,600
than a garden centre, Jackie.
85
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,920
Oh, I don't think so,
86
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,440
all these lovely plants.
87
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,640
Best of all,
someone else has to water them.
88
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,760
WOMAN: I need everyone to
take cover!
89
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,680
Set up a perimeter
from the compost to the cafe!
90
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,160
What's going on? Please get back!
This is a hazard zone.
91
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,000
Remain behind the wheelbarrow!
What? Who are you?
92
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,280
Explosive plant disposal.
Explosive plant?
93
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,520
That's right. It's our job
94
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,480
to prevent plants from exploding.
95
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,040
Right now, we're
the only people standing
96
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,000
in the way of this place going boom
97
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,640
and this place...not...not
going boom.
98
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,040
What have we got, chief?
99
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:23,680
Chinese witch hazel.
100
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,720
What? Oh, it's so pretty.
101
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,200
Sorry. Pretty explosive, more like.
102
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:32,120
Chinese witch hazel has
a hard, fuzzy fruit.
103
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,040
When that plant's ready
to release its seeds,
104
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,320
the outer layer shrinks,
105
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,880
squeezing the seeds inside,
106
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,160
with explosive results.
107
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,760
But why would a plant
want to explode?
108
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,360
Because the explosion helps
the plant spread its seeds
109
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,880
over a wider distance.
110
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,000
The further the seeds go,
111
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,560
the less they have to compete
with the parent plant for sunshine,
112
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,400
water and nutrients.
113
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,760
Oh, that is fascinating. Get back!
114
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,000
I've seen these things
spray up to 18 metres.
115
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,320
I am approaching the plant. She's
approaching the plant right now.
116
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,920
I am lifting the plant.
She's lifting the plant, over.
117
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,040
I am taking the plant to
a safe place.
118
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,520
She's taking the plant
to a safe place.
119
00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,280
EXPLOSION
Oh, my goodness!
120
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:15,880
Controlled explosion complete.
121
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,400
Oh, you beauty!
122
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,320
Right. Well, if that's all, we'll...
123
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,040
Nobody move!
124
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,360
I think we've got another problem.
125
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,160
Is that what I think it is?
Do you think it's a pumpkin?
126
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,000
That's no pumpkin, darling.
127
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,360
That is the fruit of
the sandbox tree.
128
00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:36,080
Once they dry out into seed capsules
they become ticking time bombs.
129
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,400
And, when they explode,
130
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,640
they can fling their seeds
up to 150mph.
131
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,960
I'm going to jump on it.
132
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,200
No! Save yourself!
133
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,640
SQUELCH
Oh!
134
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,000
Oh, OK. That one was just
a pumpkin... Yeah.
135
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,440
..probably put there
by someone as a hoax.
136
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,880
Pumpkin hoax, another one.
If you want to dispose of anything,
137
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,040
maybe you should start
with those weeds.
138
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,280
Do you see what I see?
139
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:05,480
Jewelweed. Oh! Not again.
140
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:09,600
If anything so much as touches
the ripe seed pods on this weed,
141
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,720
they burst open,
flinging seeds all over the place.
142
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:16,120
And, if a seed hits another pod,
it could start a chain reaction,
143
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,440
meaning... Seed supernova.
144
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,400
I'm going to cut...
145
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,000
..green.
146
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,040
Trust your instincts.
I mean, they're all green.
147
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,280
Nice one. Hang on,
148
00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,320
you said the seed pod
was the explosive bit,
149
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:47,360
so cutting the stalk will just cause
the seed pod to drop and explode.
150
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:50,160
No, no, no, no! Run for cover!
151
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,280
I'm not sure they were
real police. No.
152
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,560
Philip!
153
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:10,320
I asked you to get me a shrinking
machine, not to shrink a machine.
154
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,840
What am I...? Wait,
155
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,720
why doesn't it smell of death
in here?
156
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,160
And why is it so tidy?
157
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:21,280
Oh, no! Mummy?
158
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,800
Ah!
159
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,800
Dr Big Brain,
160
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:28,320
I've been expecting you,
161
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,720
ten minutes ago. What time do you
call this, eh?
162
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,760
Mummy, what are you doing here?
163
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:37,280
Well, firstly,
I worry about my baby boy.
164
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,400
How's the tummy troubles?
STOMACH RUMBLES
165
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,280
You just tell Mumsy
if you need to go number two, yeah?
166
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:46,480
And, secondly, I have hatched a plan
167
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,800
to use a complex chemical reaction
168
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:53,320
to harness the power
of the sun itself!
169
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,440
Really? You got my
death laser working?
170
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,000
Ah!
171
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:03,880
No, I grew some tomatoes.
I harnessed the power of the sun,
172
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:07,360
along with some water and carbon
dioxide from the air to grow them.
173
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,320
It's just photosynthesis. Philip!
174
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,800
Who gave my mother a remote control?
175
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,280
I've done all this for you,
sweetie pie.
176
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,080
I know you find it tricky
to poo sometimes,
177
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,320
and tomatoes are full of vitamins
178
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,160
and fibre
that will help keep you regular.
179
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,880
Philip, take a walk with me!
Don't worry,
180
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,680
I'm not cross. I just need you
to test
181
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,800
my new intergalactic trampoline.
182
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,800
Sounds... Whoa!
183
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:36,960
So sad. I don't think I'll ever get
over his death,
184
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,040
and yet I have. Well, then,
185
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:44,240
would you like to see the results
of my cloning experiments?
186
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,680
Cloning? Oh, I've never been able
to perfect cloning.
187
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:51,080
Just look at Sonia and Sonia 2.
188
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,760
Absolutely rubbish.
189
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:03,600
Well, my cloning experiments
have been most rewarding.
190
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,880
SHE CACKLES EVILLY
191
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:10,120
BOTH CACKLE
192
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,760
Ta-da!
193
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,880
You cloned apples? Oh, yeah.
194
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,600
All the well-known varieties
of apples are clones.
195
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,840
I don't care about fruit!
196
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,560
Well, maybe if you did,
197
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,280
you wouldn't get so bunged up
bottom-wise, eh?
198
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,880
I can see you're having
a bad day, poppet,
199
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,120
so I'm going to save the news
200
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,600
about my genetic engineering project
for another time,
201
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:30,920
all right, sweetie?
202
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,440
No, no, no, I'm not falling
for that one, Mummy.
203
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,400
Ooh, what's inside? Don't open that!
204
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,280
HE PARPS
Oh! Oh!
205
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,840
Yeah, that's where I've put my
genetically engineered tree monster.
206
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:43,960
Hello, tree monster.
207
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,320
Hello! Ooh! Agh!
PARPING CONTINUES
208
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,320
Have you gone plopsies?
209
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:49,880
Who needs tomatoes and apples
210
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,400
when I can just get you to poop
your pants with fright, eh?
211
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,960
SHE CACKLES
Stop laughing!
212
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,160
Well, I came prepared.
213
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,280
Look, your favourite knick-knocks.
214
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,960
No, Mummy, I don't need those.
215
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:02,920
I'll just wash my pants in this.
Oh, who am I kidding?
216
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,960
Give me those. Mummy knows best.
217
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,840
Worst day ever!
218
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,920
You have to watch out
for tree monsters, like Twiggy here.
219
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,720
They make for difficult pets.
220
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,680
Their bite's worse than their bark,
if you know what I mean.
221
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,800
Isn't that right, Twiggy?
222
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,600
Who's an angry little tree monster?
Yes, you are.
223
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,720
Yes, you are. Yes, you...
Anyway, every creature is different,
224
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,480
and that's because they've
all evolved different features,
225
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,640
depending on what's useful
to them.
226
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,880
Argh! Especially for defence!
227
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,040
Argh!
228
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,400
Students...
229
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,280
..welcome to the dojo.
230
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,640
Are you ready to learn
how to defend yourself,
231
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,000
like the greatest warriors
in the animal kingdom?
232
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,080
ALL: Yes, sensei.
233
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:53,760
Then, prepare to take on
the snail, the snake and the crab.
234
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,200
You what? Marcus, step forward.
235
00:10:56,200 --> 00:11:00,960
Attack me, and I shall defend myself
like the cone snail.
236
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,240
Begin!
237
00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,360
Huh?
238
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,960
Where did he go?
239
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,840
Hold on. Where did this come from?
240
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,640
SENSEI BITES, MARCUS SCREAMS
241
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:12,960
You just bit my leg!
242
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:16,000
The cone snail has a shell fortress
it can retreat into,
243
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,360
and a tooth with which it can
paralyse its enemy's muscles.
244
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,160
What? Are you saying that you
paralysed my...?
245
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,320
Ah!
246
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,000
Next up, camouflage.
247
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,960
They can't hurt you
if they can't find you.
248
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,000
Bethan! Yes, sensei? Begin.
249
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,600
The decorator crab sticks things
it finds to itself
250
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,000
to blend in with the local
landscape.
251
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,360
The crab uses
tiny, Velcro-like hairs,
252
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,280
but I don't have those,
so I use superglue.
253
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:47,760
You know I can still see you?
254
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,680
Yeah, and can I have my shoe back,
please, mate? Er...
255
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:53,600
No, you can't.
256
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:58,200
Theo, attack me and I shall use
the hognose snake defence.
257
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,840
I'm only here because I've got some
lessons as a birthday present.
258
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,760
Begin! Uh...
259
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,600
Huh! Kyeh! Huh?
260
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,560
When threatened, the hognose snake
pretends to be dead.
261
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,600
He does this by throwing up...
262
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,840
SENSEI RETCHES
263
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,400
..and also by doing a poo.
264
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,680
SENSEI PARPS
265
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,160
Urgh!
266
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,800
I have obtained total victory!
267
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,200
And that's home time.
268
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,720
Come on, Marcus,
let's get you out of here.
269
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,000
Phwoar! That's it, lads. Come on,
you can do it!
270
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,080
Don't forget to pay your subs
on Friday.
271
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,920
Doctor, I've got two patients
out here
272
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,080
who want to talk about
their big bills.
273
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:42,240
Bills? You don't have to pay
to visit your GP, Martin.
274
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,040
No, the duck bills on their faces.
275
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,640
G'day, doctor. All right, mate?
276
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:50,000
Mr Platypus, Mrs Platypus, welcome.
277
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:53,440
Call me Platters, doc,
everybody does. And I'm Stan.
278
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,920
Do you want some larvae, doc,
279
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,920
fresh from the riverbed
this morning?
280
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,720
Ooh! Ew!
281
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,800
Thank you. So,
what seems to be the problem?
282
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,280
Everyone says we're weird,
and they're right!
283
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:09,680
What even are we?
Well, technically, you're mammals.
284
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:13,920
I told you, Stan, mammals. Stan
thought we were ducks gone wrong.
285
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,960
Why do I have this bill, then?
That's not mammal-y.
286
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,440
That's straight up bird-y!
287
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,880
I do something bird-y, too,
doc. Watch this.
288
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:28,400
I lay eggs! Yeah. You can't get much
birdier than that, am I right?
289
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,440
And I've got blooming spikes
290
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,160
on my back legs that shoot venom.
291
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,000
Not many mammals have venom, mate.
292
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,920
And I'd like to talk about my...
293
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,080
WHISPERING: ..nipples.
294
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:43,000
I don't have any, but I still have
to make milk for my babies,
295
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,760
so I sweat it out,
296
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,240
and it just makes a pool on my tummy
297
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,120
for my babies to drink.
298
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,080
How freaky is that, doc?
299
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,840
She's laying eggs and sweating milk.
300
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,240
Explain that!
301
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,880
Ahem!
302
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,920
I'm going to level with you,
Mr and Mrs Platypus.
303
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:03,000
You are unusual. I knew it!
304
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,720
That's why the koalas
haven't been returning my calls.
305
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,360
You're monotremes,
306
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,400
which means egg-laying mammals.
307
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:10,800
Ooh, fancy!
308
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:14,560
You're so odd that the first time
scientists in Britain saw you,
309
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,120
they thought you were a hoax.
310
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,160
But they don't think that now. Phew!
311
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,320
Now, they know you're marvels.
312
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,560
We are? Yes, you're egg-laying
mammals
313
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,560
who sweat milk
and have venom in their feet.
314
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,120
So, stick out those bills
and be proud.
315
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:33,440
Oh, thanks, doc.
We needed to hear that.
316
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,600
We'll waddle a bit taller today.
317
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,600
Aw, bring it in, doc.
318
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,480
Aw! Ooh!
319
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,200
Oh. Sorry, doc, did I nick you there
with a bit of spike venom?
320
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,480
Eeh! Agh! Ugh! Ow! Ooh!
321
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:47,760
Ooh!
322
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,520
Humans are weird, eh? Mmm.
323
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,440
When Police Detective Loofah is
on the case,
324
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,680
he'll do anything to
solve the crime,
325
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,400
as long as he's had his coffee.
326
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,200
Where's Loofah? There's been
a major robbery.
327
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,720
He's on his way in with PC Barker.
328
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,480
Right. Well, as soon as...
329
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,400
Wait a second, we don't have
a PC Barker.
330
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,800
Get me a coffee, and a bowl
for this one!
331
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,680
All right, PC Barker, sit.
332
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,400
I'm not even going to ask.
333
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,200
Listen, Loofah,
there's been a major theft.
334
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,800
Too right there has. A cookie has
gone missing out of my desk drawer.
335
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,240
We've got a dirty copper,
336
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,440
and I'm not talking
about PC Barker's paws.
337
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,920
One of Loofah's favourite
biscuits went missing.
338
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,920
A delicious crime,
339
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,560
and Barker is going to help
root out the villain.
340
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:33,400
You see, a dog's sense of smell
is up to 100,000 times better
341
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,880
than the average human.
342
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,720
Right, sniff it. No, sniff it.
343
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,880
No, don't eat it.
344
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:45,000
Oh, there goes the evidence!
Loofah, can we please just focus?
345
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,920
Hold on a sec, guv.
346
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:50,920
Why is PC Barker
interested in your office?
347
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,600
What have you done?
348
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:58,480
Well, I had just been to the canteen
to buy my breakfast.
349
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,160
It looks like I'm going to have
to go back again now.
350
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,680
Barker does love a fry-up.
351
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,920
Loofah, there is an actual important
case we need to talk about.
352
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,240
I know it's an important case.
353
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,400
That's why I've assembled
an important team.
354
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,960
PC Barker might be able to sniff out
a villain
355
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,920
but if you want to spot one,
you're going to need DI Bird.
356
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,280
And I'm assuming...
Yeah, he's a bird.
357
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,440
BIRD CALLS OUTSIDE
Mallory, let him in.
358
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,440
You see, DI Bird is an eagle
359
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,040
and can see four to five
times better than humans.
360
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,360
Loofah, can we please talk about
the real case?
361
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,800
No, we need to search this
entire station
362
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,400
for my biscuit, guv.
363
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,040
That's why I've brought
a heavyweight on the team.
364
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,240
ELEPHANT TRUMPETS
Meet DS Large.
365
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,360
She'll get a proper feel
for the case.
366
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,560
She's got 400,000 touch-sensitive
nerves in her trunk.
367
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,680
We've only got about 2,500
368
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,880
in our fingertips. Loofah, please.
369
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,160
And, lastly, meet Constable Bats.
370
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,040
She's got exceptional hearing,
371
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,000
although she prefers to work
in the dark.
372
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,640
Quite the team you've put together
there, Loofah... Thank you.
373
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:59,000
..to find a biscuit I saw you eat
yesterday with your coffee.
374
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,680
ELEPHANT TRUMPETS
375
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:01,920
Oh, yeah!
376
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,720
Case closed. Well done!
Well done, guys!
377
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:11,520
That's it. Ha-ha-ha! Actually, it's
two cases closed. Two? Yeah.
378
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,960
The case I wanted to talk to you
about was the disappearance
379
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,120
of several animals from the zoo.
380
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:18,840
Can you guess
what those animals might be?
381
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:19,880
Oh.
382
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,920
Guv, I'm going to need a zoo ticket.
383
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,800
Yeah, I thought you might.
Come on, you guys!
384
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,080
Mallory. I'll get you a coffee.
Ooh, and get me 40 packets
385
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,920
of biscuits as well.
DS Large is looking kind of hungry.
386
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,240
ELEPHANT TRUMPETS
387
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,400
Oi-oi, it's me, the sun!
388
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,280
Come here! Give us a hug.
389
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,600
No, don't.
You'll be burnt to a crisp.
390
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:47,400
Anyway, I'm made up of lots
of hydrogen,
391
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,440
the universe's simplest element.
392
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:54,400
Now, there are loads more elements
in our solar system, 118 in total,
393
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:55,800
and I can name them all!
394
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:56,920
There's hydrogen...
395
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,320
..and another 117.
396
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,640
Luckily, you lot made it
easier to remember
397
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,000
by putting them all together
in a big table.
398
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,080
Let's meet some of its fans, eh?
399
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,080
Ooh, hydrogen! Did I say that one?
Yeah, I think I did.
400
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,520
Well, they said they had a solution
for their midfield,
401
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,640
but I'd take that
with a pinch of salt.
402
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,840
Wise words, Alan. Let's see what
that means for the table.
403
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,480
Well, hydrogen's still there
at the top,
404
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,960
closely followed by helium,
405
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:28,280
and at the bottom
it's all getting radioactive.
406
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,560
Micah, do you see anything changing?
I don't really, Gabby.
407
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,880
The table has barely changed
for 150 years, is it?
408
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,040
Well, there you have it.
No change in the periodic table.
409
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,920
Join us again next time for more
chemical action and reaction.
410
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,640
Exciting! I'm in my element.
411
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,720
This is such a great idea, brah.
412
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,560
Thanks, brah.
Not just a pretty face.
413
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,440
Only problem is, no-one's stuck
to it yet, though. Yeah.
414
00:18:58,520 --> 00:18:59,960
No. No, not working.
415
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,880
Oh, hi, there!
We're not vampires or anything,
416
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:05,920
but we've totally found out
that human blood contains metal.
417
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:10,040
Yeah, but which metal is
in your bloodstream right now?
418
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,080
Is it...?
419
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,560
Quick, here comes another one.
420
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,000
Hey! None of them are sticking
to it.
421
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,520
Agh! I mean, not that
we're trying to catch humans
422
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,880
with a giant magnet or anything.
We're not vampires.
423
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,040
Right, time's up. The answer was
all three of them.
424
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:32,360
Your blood contains chromium,
iron, gold and zinc.
425
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,320
Then why aren't they sticking
to the magnet?
426
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,520
Well, it might be that there's only,
like, a tiny amount of each,
427
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,800
and only iron's magnetic anyway.
428
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,880
Well, this is a total waste of time.
429
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,800
Ow! Argh!
430
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,680
They make up almost everything
in the universe,
431
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:49,480
from a mountain to a lettuce.
432
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,360
They're wearing costumes
three sizes too small for them.
433
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:55,000
They are the Elemental Gladiators.
434
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,880
I'm Silver.
435
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,520
I'm Iron. Grr!
436
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,280
Argh!
437
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,480
And this is Uranium.
438
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,880
ROARING: I'm Uranium.
439
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,280
I just said that.
440
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,080
The heaviest element
found naturally on earth,
441
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,440
he's going to be unstoppable
on Hang Tough.
442
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:18,840
Oh!
443
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:19,920
Or maybe not.
444
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,960
Next up,
can you cope with Copernicium?
445
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,440
She'll destroy you,
unless she gets destroyed first,
446
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,840
which is pretty likely because
she decays in less than a minute.
447
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,320
She's also a liquid
at room temperature,
448
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,560
which makes her a health
and safety nightmare in the arena.
449
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:37,680
Bradley, get them off!
450
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,520
Argh! You don't want to make an
enemy of Antimony,
451
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,240
or Sb for short.
452
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,680
He was used in make-up
for thousands of years,
453
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,560
since ancient Egyptian times,
454
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,200
and that's not all he's been
used for.
455
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,200
Yeah, it was. No, it isn't.
456
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,600
Looks like we're out of time.
No, we're not.
457
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,800
Antimony was also something
people swallowed
458
00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,520
to help them poo more easily.
459
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,120
Let's talk about the make-up again.
That was fun. That was nice.
460
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,400
And when he came out the other end,
461
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,880
people would wash him
and use him again.
462
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,280
Sounds like the ultimate
eliminator to me.
463
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,880
Great. That's really gonna help
up my street cred. Cheers.
464
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,360
Be proud of who you are, Antimony.
465
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,000
Finally, the end is nigh -
466
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,280
it's Nitrogen,
467
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:17,880
one of our most common elements.
468
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,960
He's in our air,
and he's one cool customer.
469
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:24,240
Liquid Nitrogen is so cold,
he can cause frostbite.
470
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,320
He's also a big part of why
your wee smells.
471
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,160
So, thanks... That's gross.
..I guess.
472
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,120
And he's a vital part
of the explosive dynamite.
473
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:36,760
Dynamite ready. Not you, Dynamite.
Wrong show.
474
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,920
Oh, right, sorry. Who are you?
475
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,680
I'm the thing that makes dynamite
so explosive.
476
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,760
Without me, you'd be nothing.
477
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:46,920
What did you say?
478
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,280
Ooh, is that Bradley
and/or Barney Walsh over there?
479
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,400
I'm going to go.
480
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,760
Well, I guess that's one way out
of the danger zone.
481
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:56,240
Elemental Gladiators -
they're dynamite.
482
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,360
Not you, Dynamite.
483
00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,840
Sorry.
484
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:04,400
Wow! I wouldn't like to go up
against any of those guys on Duel.
485
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:08,320
But that's because if I get hit
by one of them pugil sticks,
486
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:13,560
I emit a gas so smelly
it can knock out a rhino,
487
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,200
and I don't want to put
Bradley Walsh through that.
488
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,880
Elements are great.
489
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,800
My favourites are the heavy metals,
490
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,160
and, as luck would have it, it's
time for some heavy metal right now.
491
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,080
HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYS
492
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,240
80% of the periodic table
493
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,600
Metal! Metal!
494
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,960
We do things some other
elements aren't able
495
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,080
Metal! Metal!
496
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:47,720
Conductors of heat and electricity
497
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:51,200
We can withstand temperatures
of high degrees
498
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,520
If that's not enough,
we're pretty and shiny
499
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,840
Metal! Metal!
500
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:01,160
You can bend
or shape us any way you choose
501
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,320
Metal! Metal!
502
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:07,920
Stretch us or compress us, man,
you just can't lose
503
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,400
Metal! Metal!
504
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,920
Call us malleable
Am I making sense?
505
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:18,080
As elements go
I'd say we are immense
506
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:21,640
Yeah, we're so heavy
you could call us dense
507
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,840
Metal! Metal!
508
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:30,760
Metal, we're so special
509
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,120
Check us out
510
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,680
Actually, we're not that useful
on our own
511
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:45,040
Metal! Metal!
512
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:48,680
Too soft and weak to do much
if we're used alone
513
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,880
Metal! Metal!
514
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,200
Our atoms are the same size,
so they slide about
515
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,560
But mix us with another
and it sorts that out
516
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,840
We become much stronger,
let me hear you shout
517
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,600
Alloy! Alloy!
518
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,880
Copper and tin
Mix them together!
519
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,000
Super-strong bronze
Yeah, pretty clever!
520
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,520
Carbon and iron
They make steel
521
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:19,160
Harder and strong
It's the real deal
522
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:25,760
Make some noise for the alloys
523
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,880
You can't live without us
Yeah, that much is true
524
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:32,640
Metal! Metal!
525
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,000
Bridges, buildings, transport
There's so much we do
526
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,160
Metal! Metal!
527
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,640
You won't find us melting
when we're in the sun
528
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,160
Apart from mercury
But he's the only one
529
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:49,240
Without us, your lives,
they wouldn't be much fun
530
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,720
Metal! Metal!
531
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,480
Metal
532
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,640
We're so special
533
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,040
Check us out.
534
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:04,200
Rargh!
535
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:09,680
Missed it.
536
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,120
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
537
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:14,920
Loofah, please.
538
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:16,960
I can't hit an elephant...
539
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,320
Weird and gross stuff
you now know
540
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:25,000
Hope you enjoyed
The Horrible Science show.
541
00:25:25,050 --> 00:25:29,600
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41156
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.