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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: {396}{481}Long ago, in the far away land|of ancient Greece... {485}{550}there was a golden age|of powerful gods... {554}{618}and extraordinay heroes. {622}{693}And the greatest and strongest|of all these heroes... {697}{762}was the mighty Hercules. {766}{830}But what is the measure|of a true hero? {834}{884}Ah, that is what our stoy is... {888}{920}Will you listen to him? {924}{993}He's makin' the story|sound like some Greek tragedy. {997}{1031}Lighten up, dude. {1035}{1082}We'll take it from here, darling. {1086}{1130}You go, girl. {1166}{1215}We are the muses... {1219}{1305}goddesses of the arts|and proclaimers of heroes. {1309}{1349}Heroes like Hercules. {1353}{1398}Honey, you mean "Hunk-ules". {1402}{1455}Ooh, I'd like to make|some sweet music with him... {1459}{1523}Our story actually begins... {1527}{1576}long before Hercules... {1579}{1629}many eons ago. {1632}{1669}Ah {1673}{1742}Back when the world was new {1746}{1810}- Whoa!|- The planet Earth was down on its luck {1814}{1964}And everywhere gigantic brutes|called Titans ran amok {1968}{2036}It was a nasty place {2040}{2102}There was a mess|wherever you stepped {2106}{2217}Where chaos reigned and earthquakes|and volcanoes never slept {2221}{2256}Whoo! Say it, girlfriend! {2260}{2294}And then along came Zeus {2298}{2365}- He hurled his thunderbolt|- He zapped {2369}{2450}- Locked those suckers in a vault|- They're trapped {2454}{2543}And on his own|stopped chaos in its tracks {2547}{2582}And that's the gospel truth {2586}{2692}The guy was too "TypeA"|to just relax {2696}{2764}- And that's the world's first dish|- Yeah, baby. {2768}{2839}Zeus tamed the globe|while still in his youth {2843}{2907}Though, honey|it may seem impossible {2910}{2986}That's the gospel truth {2990}{3044}On Mount Olympus life was neat {3048}{3101}And smooth as sweet vermouth {3124}{3199}Although, honey|it may seem impossible {3203}{3355}That's the gospel truth {3359}{3450}- Ah, ah|- Ah {3453}{3550}- Ah, ah|- Oh, yeah, yeah {3553}{3647}- Ah, ah|- Hey, hey, hey {3651}{3747}- Ah, ah|- Hey, yeah {4300}{4349}Hercules! {4382}{4426}Behave yourself. {4483}{4563}Oh, look at this. {4567}{4602}Look how cute he is. {4721}{4785}Hah! Oh, he's strong... {4789}{4834}like his dad, hmm? {4838}{4882}Whoa! Excuse me!|Hot stuff coming through! {4886}{4936}Excuse me.|One side, Ares. {4958}{5024}Why, Hermes, they're lovely. {5028}{5082}Yeah, you know, I had Orpheus|do the arrangement. {5086}{5142}Isn't that too nutty? {5146}{5213}Fabulous party. You know, I haven't|seen this much love in a room... {5217}{5274}since Narcissus discovered himself. {5333}{5393}Dear, keep those|away from the baby. {5397}{5447}Oh, he won't hurt himself. {5451}{5508}Let the kid have a little fun. {5728}{5801}On behalf of my son,|I want to thank you all... {5805}{5874}for your wonderful gifts! {5878}{5917}What about our gift, dear? {5921}{5994}Well, let's see here.|We'll take... Hmm, yes. {5998}{6106}A little cirrus and, uh, hmm,|a touch of nimbostratus... {6110}{6192}and a dash of cumulus. {6285}{6363}His name is Pegasus... {6367}{6436}and he's all yours, son. {6723}{6758}Mind his head. {6762}{6805}He's so tiny. {6935}{6979}My boy. {6982}{7048}My little Hercules. {7077}{7110}How sentimental. {7146}{7200}You know, I haven't been|this choked up... {7204}{7270}since I got a hunk of moussaka|caught in my throat! {7274}{7329}Huh? {7332}{7377}So is this an audience|or a mosaic? {7381}{7437}Hey, how you doin'?|Lookin' good. Nice dress. {7441}{7501}So, Hades,|you finally made it. {7505}{7546}How are things|in the underworld? {7550}{7616}Well, they're just fine. You know,|a little dark, a little gloomy. {7619}{7672}And, as always,|hey, full of dead people. {7676}{7750}What are you gonna do? Ah!|There's the little sunspot. {7754}{7848}Little snootchie. And here is a sucker|for the little sucker. {7852}{7892}Eh? Here you go.|You just... {7956}{7993}Sheesh! {7997}{8048}Uh, powerful little tyke. {8052}{8133}Come on, Hades. Don't be such a stiff.|Join the celebration! {8137}{8194}Hey. Love to, babe... {8198}{8264}but unlike you gods|lounging about up here... {8268}{8324}I regrettably|have a full-time gig... {8328}{8411}that you, by the way,|so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus. {8415}{8494}So, can't.|Love to, but can't. {8498}{8586}You ought to slow down.|You'll work yourself to death. {8590}{8658}Hah! Work yourself to death! {8714}{8750}Oh, I kill myself! {8774}{8840}If only. If only. {8844}{8947}If there's one god you don't want|to get steamed up, it's Hades. {8951}{9012}'Cause he had an evil plan. {9016}{9123}He ran the underworld {9127}{9217}But thought the dead|were dull and uncouth {9221}{9300}He was as mean|as he was ruthless {9304}{9397}And that's the gospel truth {9401}{9512}He had a plan|to shake things up {9516}{9740}And that's the gospel truth {9880}{9919}Pain! {9923}{9993}Coming,|your most lugubriousness. Ow! {10074}{10160}- Panic!|- Oh, I'm sory. I can handle it! {10345}{10409}- Pain! Oh!|- And Panic! {10413}{10461}Reporting for duty! {10465}{10544}Fine, fine, fine. Just let me know|the instant the Fates arrive. {10548}{10589}Oh. They're here. {10593}{10673}What? The Fates are here,|and you didn't tell me? {10703}{10821}We are worms!|Worthless worms! {10825}{10909}Memo to me, memo to me:|maim you after my meeting. {10987}{11110}Darling, hold that mortal's|thread of life... {11114}{11170}good and tight. {11280}{11317}Incoming! {11534}{11590}Ladies.|I am so sorry that I'm... {11594}{11642}- Late!|- We knew you would be. {11646}{11696}We know eveything. {11700}{11750}- Past.|- Present. {11754}{11799}And future. {11803}{11872}Indoor plumbing.|It's gonna be big. {11876}{11936}Great, gr... Anyway, see, ladies, I|was at this party and I lost track of... {11940}{12031}- We know!|- Yeah. I know you know. {12035}{12107}So here's the deal. Zeus... {12111}{12204}Mr High and Mighty, Mr "Hey, You,|Get Off Of My Cloud",... now he has... {12208}{12284}- A bouncing baby brat.|- We know! {12288}{12353}I know you know!|I know. I got it. {12357}{12413}I got the concept.|So let me just ask: {12417}{12490}is this kid gonna mess up|my hostile takeover bid, or what? {12494}{12553}- What do you think?|- Oh, no you don't. {12557}{12636}We're not supposed|to reveal the future. {12659}{12701}Oh, wait. I'm sorry.|Time out. Can I... {12705}{12746}Can I ask you a question by the way?|Are you... {12750}{12805}Did you cut your hair or something?|You look fabulous. {12809}{12865}I mean, you look like a Fate|worse than death. {12912}{12955}Oh, gross! {12959}{13008}Yech! It's blinkin'! {13058}{13147}Ladies, please.|My fate... {13151}{13201}is in your lovely hands. {13205}{13269}- Oh.|- Oh, all right. {13337}{13444}In 18 years precisely... {13448}{13507}the planets will align... {13511}{13586}ever so nicely. {13589}{13616}Ay, verse. Oy. {13620}{13681}The time to act|will be at hand. {13685}{13786}Unleash the Titans,|your monstrous band. {13789}{13822}Mm-hmm. Good, good. {13826}{13952}Then the once-proud Zeus|will finally fall... {13956}{14027}and you, Hades... {14031}{14103}will rule all! {14107}{14168}Yes! Hades rules! {14172}{14272}- A word of caution to this tale.|- Excuse me? {14276}{14387}Should Hercules fight,|you will fail. {14503}{14555}What? {14559}{14624}Okay, fine, fine.|I'm cool. I'm fine. {14665}{14750}Pain? Panic?|Got a little riddle for ya. {14754}{14829}How do you kill a god? {14833}{14871}I do not know! {14875}{14914}You can't. They're immortal? {14918}{14958}Bingo! They're immortal! {14962}{15073}So, first you got to turn|the little sunspot... {15077}{15121}mortal. {15810}{15870}- Huh?|- Wha... What is it? {15874}{15917}The baby! {16051}{16148}Hercules! Oh! {16206}{16341}No! {16345}{16379}Now we did it! {16383}{16433}Zeus is gonna use us|for target practice! {16437}{16488}Just hang on to the kid, Panic! {16583}{16657}Hurry! Let's just kill the kid|and get it over with, okay? {16661}{16736}Here you go, kid.|A little Grecian formula. {16775}{16867}Look at that! He's changing.|Can we do it now? {16871}{16946}No, no, no. He has to drink|the whole potion. {16950}{17024}- Evey last drop!|- Who's there? {17159}{17212}Alcmene, over here. {17239}{17310}Oh, you poor thing. {17314}{17359}- Oh, don't cy.|- Is anybody there? {17363}{17416}- Now?|- Now. {17447}{17523}Oh. Well, he must|have been abandoned. {17527}{17587}Amphityon, for so many years... {17591}{17669}we've prayed to the gods|to bless us with a child. {17673}{17727}Perhaps they've answered|our prayers. {17731}{17767}Perhaps they have. {17771}{17816}"Hercules"? {18287}{18338}Help, help, help! {18342}{18396}Hades is gonna kill us|when he finds out what happened. {18400}{18462}You mean, if he finds out. {18466}{18523}Of course he's gonna f... {18527}{18596}If. If is good. {18622}{18734}It was tragic. Zeus led all the gods|on a frantic search. {18738}{18831}But by the time they found the baby,|it was too late. {18835}{18946}- Young Herc was mortal now|- Mmm {18950}{19035}But since he did not drink|the last drop {19039}{19113}He still retained|his godlike strength {19117}{19226}- So thank his lucky stars|- Tell it, girl. {19230}{19346}- But Zeus and Hera wept|- Ooh, ooh, ooh {19350}{19437}Because their son|could never come home {19441}{19503}They'd have to watch|their precious baby {19507}{19602}Grow up from a far {19606}{19724}Though Hades' horrid plan {19728}{19805}Was hatched before Herc|cut his first tooth {19809}{19909}- Ahh|- The boy grew stronger everyday {19913}{20012}And that's the gospel truth {20016}{20204}The gospel truth {20434}{20485}Hercules, slow down! {20577}{20629}Look out! {20633}{20673}Oops! S-S-sorry, guys! {20677}{20729}- Hey, watch where you're goin'!|- Sunday driver! {20837}{20877}Thanks, son. {20881}{20968}When old Penelope twisted her ankle|back there, I thought we were done for. {20972}{21049}- No problem, Pop.|- Uh, don't-don't-don't unload just yet. {21053}{21098}First, I have to finagle|with Phideas. {21102}{21134}Okay. {21163}{21211}Oops. sorry, Penelope. {21215}{21293}Now, Hercules, this time,|please just... {21297}{21348}I know, I know. {21352}{21409}Stay by the cart. {21413}{21457}That's my boy. {21557}{21593}Oh, my goodness. Whoa! {21597}{21637}Careful! {21665}{21722}- Why, thank you.|- No problem. {21726}{21805}Why, Hercules! I-I-It's you! {21809}{21896}- Let me, let me help you with that.|- No, no, no, no, no. I got it! {21900}{21947}I'm fine.|You just run along. {21951}{21991}- Are you sure?|- Oh, yes. {21995}{22040}Absolutely. {22130}{22185}Yo! Give it here! {22189}{22234}Hey, you need an extra guy? {22264}{22316}Uh, sorry, Herc. {22320}{22381}Uh, we already got five... {22385}{22427}and we want to keep it|an even number. {22431}{22487}- Hey, wait a second. Five isn't an ev...|- See ya, Herc. {22491}{22555}- What a geek!|- Destructo Boy. {22558}{22620}- Maybe we should call him "Jerkules".|- Yeah! {22785}{22822}Heads up! {22826}{22872}- I-I got it!|- No! Stop! {22951}{23024}Uh-oh. Oh, no. {23055}{23092}It's okay. {23261}{23308}Hey! Whoa! {23449}{23519}- Son!|- Hang on, Pop! Be right back! {23523}{23591}Oh, my! Oh, no! Don't!|Oh, no, no, no, no! {23595}{23654}No, no, no, no, no, no! {23786}{23826}Watch out! {24194}{24274}Nice catch, Jerkules. {24278}{24344}Son. {24348}{24467}This is the last straw,|Amphityon! {24471}{24507}That boy is a menace! {24511}{24580}He's too dangerous|to be around normal people! {24618}{24672}He didn't mean any harm.|He's just a kid. {24676}{24771}He-He just can't control|his strength. {24775}{24878}I'm warning you.|You keep that-that-that... {24882}{24920}freak away from here! {24924}{24977}Freak! Yeah, go away! {25298}{25399}Son, you shouldn't let those things|they said back there get to ya. {25403}{25465}But, Pop, they're right.|I-I am a freak. {25469}{25546}I-I try to fit in.|I really do. {25550}{25588}I just can't. {25622}{25704}Sometimes I feel like... {25708}{25773}like I really|don't belong here... {25777}{25892}like I'm supposed to be|someplace else. {25896}{25945}Hercules, son... {25949}{25993}I know it doesn't make any sense. {26254}{26319}I have often dreamed {26322}{26375}Of a far-offplace {26379}{26511}Where a great, warm welcome|will be waiting for me {26515}{26567}Where the crowds will cheer {26571}{26635}When they see my face {26638}{26772}And a voice keeps sayin'|this is where I'm meant to be {26799}{26863}I will find my way {26867}{26915}I can go the distance {26919}{26990}I'll be there someday {26994}{27048}If I can be strong {27052}{27110}I know every mile {27114}{27179}Will be worth my while {27211}{27374}I would go most anywhere|to feel like I {27377}{27477}Belong {27558}{27630}Hercules, there's something|your mother and I... {27634}{27723}have been meaning to, to tell ya. {27727}{27823}But if you found me,|then where did I come from? {27827}{27885}Why was I left here? {27889}{27998}This was around your neck|when we found you. {28054}{28100}It's the symbol of the gods. {28104}{28189}This is it! Don't you see?|Maybe they have the answers. {28193}{28244}I'll go to the temple of Zeus and... {28308}{28388}Ma, Pop... {28392}{28500}you're the greatest parents|anyone could have, but... {28504}{28548}I-I gotta know. {28996}{29061}I am on my way {29065}{29113}I can go the distance {29117}{29179}I don't care how far {29183}{29237}Somehow, I'll be strong {29241}{29295}I know every mile {29299}{29384}Will be worth my while {29388}{29458}I would go most anywhere {29462}{29602}To find where I belong {30061}{30110}Oh, mighty Zeus... {30114}{30215}please, hear me|and, and answer my prayer. {30219}{30293}I need to know:|Who am I? {30297}{30356}Wh-Where do I belong? {30502}{30547}Huh? {30674}{30781}My boy.|My little Hercules. {30850}{30903}Hey, hey, hey.|Hold on, kiddo! {30906}{30960}What's your hurry?|After all these years... {30964}{31047}is this the kind of hello|you give your father? {31050}{31089}F-F-Father? {31093}{31164}Didn't know you had|a famous father, did you? {31168}{31212}Surprise! {31240}{31288}Look how you've grown. {31292}{31356}Why, you've got your mother's|beautiful eyes... {31359}{31410}and my strong chin. {31414}{31482}- Hah!|- I-I don't understand. {31486}{31579}If you're my father,|that would make me a... {31583}{31616}A god. {31620}{31680}A god. A god! {31684}{31743}Hey, you wanted answers,|and by thunder... {31747}{31809}you're old enough now|to know the truth. {31813}{31899}But why did you leave me on Earth?|Didn't you want me? {31902}{32013}Of course we did. Your mother and I|loved you with all our hearts. {32017}{32102}But someone stole you from us|and turned you mortal... {32106}{32184}and only gods|can live on Mount Olympus. {32188}{32223}And you can't do a thing? {32227}{32274}I can't, Hercules,|but you can. {32277}{32350}R-Really? W-What?|I'll do anything. {32354}{32431}Hercules, if you can prove yourself|a true hero on Earth... {32435}{32482}your godhood|will be restored. {32486}{32554}A true hero. Great! {32558}{32640}Uh, exactly how do you become|a true hero? {32644}{32749}First, you must seek out Philoctetes,|the trainer of heroes. {32753}{32820}Seek out Philoctetes.|Right. I'll... {32824}{32874}- Whoa!|- Whoa! Hold your horses! {32878}{32922}Which reminds me. {33069}{33146}Ha-ha! You probably|don't remember Pegasus... {33150}{33212}but you two go way back, son. {33400}{33447}Oh, Pegasus! {33451}{33497}He's a magnificent horse... {33501}{33559}with the brain of a bird. {33622}{33692}I'll find Philoctetes,|become a true hero! {33696}{33726}That's the spirit! {33730}{33833}I won't let you down, Father!|Yee-hah! {33837}{33886}Good luck, son. {33956}{34013}I will beat the odds {34017}{34061}I can go the distance {34065}{34119}I will face the world {34123}{34170}Fearless, proud and strong {34174}{34228}I will please the gods {34232}{34276}I can go the distance {34280}{34339}Till I find my hero's welcome {34343}{34418}Right where I {34422}{34725}Belong {35263}{35302}Whoa! {35354}{35410}- You sure|this is the right place? {35680}{35724}- What's the matter, little guy?|You stuck? {35728}{35828}- Whoa! Hey, butt out, buddy!|- Ugh! {35832}{35892}Girls! Stop! Stop!|Come back! Come back, come back! {35896}{35967}Whoa, whoa! Oh, jeez! {35971}{36058}Wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa!|Oh, nymphs! {36062}{36126}- They can't keep their hands off me.|- Hey! {36227}{36276}What's the matter?|You never seen a satyr before? {36280}{36344}Uh, no.|Can you help us? {36347}{36460}We're looking for someone|called Philoctetes. {36464}{36508}- Call me Phil.|- Phil! {36512}{36568}- Ow!|- Boy, am I glad to meet you! {36572}{36647}I'm Hercules,|and this is Pegasus. {36690}{36754}Animals. Disgusting. {36757}{36834}I need your help.|I want to become a hero, a true hero. {36880}{36930}sorry, kid.|Can't help ya. {36934}{36975}- Wait.|- Whoo! {36979}{37025}Uh, sorry. Why not? {37029}{37112}Two words: I am retired. {37142}{37183}Look, I gotta do this. {37187}{37231}Haven't you ever had a dream... {37235}{37297}something you wanted so bad|you'd do anything? {37363}{37440}Kid, come inside.|I want to show you somethin'. {37644}{37715}Watch it! That was part|of the mast of the Argo. {37719}{37758}- The Argo?|- Yeah. {37762}{37846}Who do you think taught Jason|how to sail? Cleopatra? {37850}{37908}I trained|all those would-be heroes. {37912}{38026}Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus.|A lot of "yeuseus". {38030}{38090}And every single one|of those bums let me down... {38094}{38136}flatter than a discus. {38140}{38210}None of'em|could go the distance. {38214}{38281}And then there was Achilles. {38285}{38329}Now there was a guy|who had it all... {38333}{38377}the build, the foot speed. {38381}{38427}He could jab.|He could take a hit. {38431}{38488}He could keep on comin'. {38492}{38553}But that furshlugginer|heel of his! {38557}{38672}He barely gets nicked there once|and kaboom! He's history. {38726}{38765}Yeah, I had a dream once. {38769}{38850}I dreamed I was gonna train|the greatest hero there ever was. {38854}{38953}So great, the gods would hang|a picture of him in the stars... {38957}{38993}all across the sky... {38997}{39084}and people would say,|"That's Phil's boy". {39088}{39134}That's right. {39138}{39183}Eh, but dreams are for rookies. {39187}{39232}A guy can only take|so much disappointment. {39236}{39285}But I'm different|than those other guys, Phil. {39289}{39387}I can go the distance.|Come on. I'll show ya. {39391}{39438}Jeez. You don't give up, do ya? {39442}{39496}Watch this. {39578}{39624}Holy Hera. {39628}{39708}You know, maybe if I...|No! Snap out of it! {39712}{39761}I'm too old to get mixed up|in this stuff again. {39765}{39805}But if I don't become|a true hero... {39809}{39881}I'll never be able|to rejoin my father Zeus. {39885}{39957}Hold it.|Zeus is your father, right? {39961}{40005}Uh-huh. {40009}{40092}Zeus, the big guy.|He's your daddy. {40096}{40190}Mr. Lightning Bolts!|Read me a book, would ya, Da-Da? {40194}{40262}Zeus!|"Once upon a time..." {40266}{40328}- It's the truth!|- Please! {40390}{40441}So you wanna be a hero, kid {40445}{40516}Well, whoop-de-do {40520}{40568}I have been|around the block before {40572}{40627}With blockheads just like you {40631}{40684}Each and everyone|a disappointment {40688}{40771}Pain for which|there ain't no ointment {40775}{40858}So much for excuses|Though a kid of Zeus is {40862}{40941}Askin 'me to jump|into the fray {40945}{41010}My answer is two words {41085}{41117}Okay. {41121}{41153}You mean you'll do it? {41157}{41204}- You win.|- You won't be sorry, Phil. {41208}{41262}- Oh, gods.|- So when do we start? Can we start now? {41266}{41310}Oy, vay. {41338}{41406}I'd given up hope|that someone would come {41410}{41449}Along {41453}{41508}A fella who'd ring the bell|for once {41512}{41563}Not the gong {41567}{41621}The kind who wins trophies {41625}{41680}Won't settle for low fees {41684}{41726}At least semipro fees {41730}{41799}But, no|I get the greenhorn {41803}{41906}I've been out to pasture, pal|My ambition gone {41910}{42022}Content to spend lazy days|and to graze my lawn {42026}{42082}But you need an advisor {42086}{42140}A satyr, but wiser {42144}{42231}A good merchandiser|and... whoa {42235}{42326}There goes my ulcer|I'm down to one last hope, and I hope {42330}{42373}It's you {42377}{42488}Though, kid, you're not|exactly a dream come true {42492}{42543}It rained enough turkeys {42547}{42602}- Who nevercame through|- Whoa! {42606}{42668}You're my one last hope|so you'll have to do {42698}{42787}Rule number six:|when rescuing a damsel... {42791}{42838}always handle with care. {42884}{42928}No! {42960}{43026}Rule number 95, kid: concentrate! {43079}{43133}Rule number 96: {43137}{43186}aim! {43190}{43241}Demigods have faced the odds {43245}{43298}And ended up a mockey {43302}{43339}Don't believe the stories {43343}{43423}That you read|on all the crockey {43427}{43531}To be a true hero, kid|is a dyin' art {43535}{43596}Like paintin' a masterpiece {43600}{43647}It's a work of heart {43651}{43703}It takes more than sinew {43707}{43764}Comes down to what's in you {43768}{43855}You have to continue to grow {43859}{43908}Now that's more like it! {43912}{43970}I'm down to one lastshot {43974}{44062}And my last high note {44066}{44190}Before that blasted underworld|gets my goat {44194}{44236}My dreams are on you, kid {44240}{44290}Go make 'em come true {44294}{44336}Climb that uphill slope {44340}{44398}Keep pushin 'that envelope {44402}{44442}You're my one last hope {44446}{44524}And, kid, it's up to {44528}{44620}You {44624}{44661}Yeah! {44722}{44767}Did you see that? {44771}{44850}Next stop, Olympus. {44854}{44899}All right.|Just take it easy, champ. {44903}{44951}I am ready.|I want to get off this island. {44955}{45014}I want to see battles|and monsters. {45018}{45062}Rescue some damsels. {45066}{45116}You know, heroic stuff. {45120}{45199}- Well.|- Aw, come on, Phil! {45203}{45283}Well, okay, okay.|You want a road test? Saddle up, kid. {45287}{45370}- We're goin' to Thebes!|- Ya-hoo! {45374}{45436}- So what's in Thebes?|- A lot of problems. {45440}{45512}It's a big, tough town.|Good place to start buildin' a rep. {45576}{45613}Sounds like your basic DID... {45617}{45684}- Hyah!|- Damsel in distress! {45844}{45902}Not so fast, sweetheart. {45906}{45962}I swear, Nessus.|Put me down or I'll... {45966}{46055}Whoo!|I like 'em fiey! {46059}{46129}Now remember, kid.|First, analyse the situation. {46133}{46225}Don't just barrel in there|without thinking. Eh? {46254}{46292}He's losin' points for this! {46296}{46352}- You don't know what you're...|- Halt! {46415}{46480}Step aside, two legs. {46484}{46570}Pardon me, my good, uh, uh, sir. {46574}{46618}I'll have to ask you to release|that young... {46622}{46688}- Keep movin', junior.|- Lady. {46692}{46777}But you... Are-Aren't you|a damsel in distress? {46781}{46854}I'm a damsel.|I'm in distress. {46858}{46928}I can handle this.|Have a nice day. {46932}{46976}Uh... {46980}{47052}Ma'am, I'm afraid you may be too close|to the situation to realize... {47094}{47177}Ohhh! What are you doin'?|Get your sword! {47181}{47292}Sword. Right, right. Rule number 15:|a hero is only as good as his weapon! {47480}{47555}Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold it! Hold on!|He's gotta do it on his own. {47559}{47631}Come on, kid!|Concentrate! {47635}{47672}Use your head! {47704}{47740}Oh. {47854}{47924}All right!|Not bad, kid! {47928}{47988}Not exactly what I had in mind,|but not bad. {48054}{48121}Oh, gee, miss.|I'm, I'm really sorry. {48125}{48176}- Oh.|- That was dumb. {48180}{48212}Yeah. {48240}{48274}Excuse me. {48408}{48483}Nice work! Excelente. {48487}{48536}Is Wonderboy here for real? {48540}{48634}What are you talkin' about?|Of course he's real. Whoa! {48662}{48772}And by the way, sweet cheeks.|I'm real too. {48776}{48812}Ugh! {48816}{48890}Yee-hah! Ya-hoo! {49038}{49081}Whoa! {49712}{49758}- How was that, Phil?|- Reign it in, rookie. {49762}{49830}You can get away with mistakes|like those in the minor decathlons... {49834}{49896}but this is the big leagues! {49900}{49941}At least I beat him, didn't I? {49945}{50028}Next time, don't let your guard down|because of a pair of big goo-goo eyes! {50032}{50096}D-oh! It's like I keep tellin' ya. {50099}{50166}You gotta stay focused,|and you... {50391}{50467}Are you, uh, all right,|Miss, uh... {50471}{50517}Megara.|My friends call me Meg. {50521}{50565}At least they would|if I had any friends. {50569}{50676}So did they give you a name|along with all those rippling pectorals? {50680}{50773}Uh, uh, uh, I'm, um, uh... {50777}{50835}- Uh, uh...|- Are you always this articulate? {50839}{50909}Hercules. My...|My name is Hercules. {50938}{51014}Herc... Huh.|I think I prefer Wonderboy. {51018}{51117}So, uh, uh... How-how-how'd you|get mixed up with the, uh... {51121}{51179}Pinhead with hooves?|Well, you know how men are. {51183}{51276}They think "No" means "Yes" and|"Get lost" means "Take me. I'm yours". {51337}{51418}Don't wory. Shorty here|can explain it to ya later. {51422}{51474}Well, thanks for everything, Herc. {51478}{51545}It's been a real slice. {51549}{51623}Wait! Um, can we give you a ride? {51701}{51787}Uh, I don't think your pinto|likes me very much. {51791}{51855}Pegasus? Oh, no.|Don't be silly. {51859}{51924}He'd be more than happy to... Ow! {51967}{52032}I'll be all right.|I'm a big tough girl. {52036}{52087}I tie my own sandals|and everything. {52142}{52176}Bye-bye, Wonderboy. {52205}{52264}Bye. {52268}{52343}She's somethin'.|Isn't she, Phil? {52347}{52412}Yeah, ye... Oh, yeah.|She's really somethin'. {52416}{52489}A real pain in the patella!|Earth to Herc! {52493}{52527}Come in, Herc!|Come in, Herc! {52530}{52592}We got a job to do, remember? {52596}{52637}Thebes is still waitin'. {52641}{52698}Yeah. Yeah. I know. {52973}{53016}Aw, how cute. {53020}{53086}A couple of rodents|lookin' for a theme park. {53090}{53131}Who you callin' a rodent, sister? {53134}{53205}- I'm a bunny!|- A-And I'm his gopher! {53209}{53255}Ta-dah! {53259}{53313}I thought I smelled a rat. {53317}{53387}- Meg.|- Speak of the devil. {53391}{53488}Meg, my little flower, my little bird,|my little nut. Meg. {53492}{53536}What exactly happened here? {53540}{53604}I thought you were gonna persuade|the river guardian to join my team... {53608}{53694}for the uprising, and here I am,|kind of river guardian-less. {53698}{53794}I gave it my best shot, but|he made me an offer I had to refuse. {53798}{53853}Fine. So instead of subtracting|two years from your sentence... {53857}{53904}hey, I'm gonna add two on, okay? {53908}{53958}- Give that your best shot.|- Look. It wasn't my fault. {53962}{54026}It was this wonderboy, Hercules. {54030}{54112}Hercules.|Why does that name ring a bell? {54116}{54184}I don't know.|Um, maybe we owe him money? {54188}{54297}- What was that name again?|- Hercules. {54301}{54346}He comes on with this big,|innocent farm boy routine... {54350}{54395}but I could see through that|in a Peloponnesian minute. {54399}{54492}Wait a minute. Wasn't Hercules the name|of that kid we were supposed to... {54496}{54575}Oh, my gods!|Run for it! {54579}{54659}So you took care of him, huh? {54663}{54709}Dead as a doornail. {54713}{54781}Weren't those your exact words? {54784}{54826}This might be|a different Hercules. {54830}{54918}Yeah! I mean, Hercules|is a very popular name nowadays! {54922}{55002}Remember, like, a few years ago,|every other boy was named Jason... {55005}{55042}and the girls|were all named Brittany? {55046}{55156}I'm about to rearrange|the cosmos... {55159}{55239}and the one schlemiel|who can louse it up... {55243}{55322}is waltzing around in the woods! {55428}{55469}Wait. Wait, big guy. {55473}{55541}- We can still cut in on his waltzing.|- That's right. {55545}{55610}And-And at least we made him mortal.|That's a good thing. {55613}{55646}Didn't we? {55650}{55728}Hmm. Fortunately|for the three of you... {55732}{55824}we still have time to correct|this rather egregious oversight. {55828}{55915}And this time, no foul-ups. {55983}{56047}Wow! {56051}{56135}- Is that all one town?|- One town, a million troubles. {56138}{56180}The one and only Thebes. {56184}{56238}The Big Olive itself. {56242}{56310}If you can make it there,|you can make it anywhere. {56488}{56558}Stick with me, kid.|The city is a dangerous place. {56601}{56691}- Look where you're goin', numbskull!|- Hey, I'm walkin' here! {56695}{56750}See what I mean?|I'm tellin' you. Wackos. {56754}{56833}Pita bread. Pita bread.|Get your pita bread here. {56837}{56902}- Hey, Mack.|- Whoa, whoa, whoa! {56905}{56952}You wanna buy a sundial? {56955}{57004}He's not interested, all right?|Come on, kid. {57008}{57083}The end is coming!|Can't you feel it? {57087}{57152}Yes, yes.|Thank you for the info. Yes. {57155}{57212}We'll ponder that for awhile.|Just stare at the sidewalk. {57216}{57248}Come on.|Don't make eye contact. {57251}{57335}People here are nuts. That's because|they live in a city of turmoil. {57338}{57406}Trust me, kid. You're gonna be|just what the doctor ordered. {57446}{57552}It was tragic!|We lost everything in the fire. {57555}{57656}everything|except old Snowball here. {57659}{57724}Now were the fires|before or after the earthquake? {57726}{57771}They were after the earthquake.|I remember. {57775}{57810}But before the flood. {57813}{57890}Don't even get me started|on the crime rate. {57894}{57982}Thebes has certainly|gone downhill in a hurry. {57986}{58025}Tell me about it. {58029}{58076}It seems like every time|I turn around... {58080}{58129}there's some new monster|wreakin' havoc and I... {58133}{58208}All we need now|is a plague of locusts. {58269}{58337}That's it!|I'm movin' to Sparta! {58341}{58399}Excuse me. {58403}{58443}It, uh... {58447}{58534}seems to me that|what you folks need is a hero. {58567}{58612}Yeah, and who are you? {58663}{58715}I'm Hercules, and, uh... {58719}{58773}I happen to be a hero. {58807}{58854}- Is that so?|- A hero! {58858}{58912}Have you ever saved|a town before? {58916}{58970}Uh, no. Uh, not exactly, but I... {58974}{59032}Have you ever reversed|a natural disaster? {59036}{59090}Well, uh, no. {59094}{59186}Oh, listen to thi... He's just another|chariot chaser. This we need. {59190}{59222}That's a laugh. {59226}{59284}- Don't you pea brains get it?|- Hmm? {59288}{59335}This kid is the genuine article. {59338}{59440}Hey, isn't that the goat-man|who trained Achilles? {59444}{59481}Watch it, pal. {59484}{59592}Yeah, you're right.|Hey, uh, nice job on those heels! {59596}{59656}Ya missed a spot! {59659}{59710}You... I got your heel|right here! {59713}{59767}I'll wipe that stupid grin|off your face! You... {59771}{59840}Hey, Phil! Phil! Phil! {59844}{59910}What are you, crazy? Sheesh. {59913}{60000}Young man, we need|a professional hero... {60004}{60062}not an amateur. {60082}{60131}Well, wait. Stop! {60251}{60302}How am I supposed|to prove myself a hero... {60305}{60346}if nobody|will give me a chance? {60350}{60382}You'll get your chance. {60386}{60477}You just need some kind|of catastrophe or disaster. {60480}{60567}Please. Help! Please!|There's been a terrible accident! {60571}{60627}- Meg?|- Speakin' of disasters. {60630}{60692}Wonderboy! Hercules! {60696}{60739}- Thank goodness.|- Wha-Wha-What's wrong? {60743}{60775}Oh! Outside of town. {60779}{60832}Two little boys.|Th-They were playing in the gorge. {60836}{60897}Th-There was this rock slide,|a terrible rock slide. {60901}{60966}- They're trapped!|- Kids? Trapped? {60970}{61007}Phil, this is great! {61011}{61055}You're really choked up|about this, aren't ya? {61059}{61110}- Come on!|- No, I... You don't under... {61113}{61188}I, I have this terrible fear|of heights! {61313}{61378}I'm right behind ya, kid! Whoo! {61380}{61446}I'm way behind ya, kid. {61450}{61484}I got a fur wedgie. {61650}{61692}- Are you okay?|- I'll be fine. {61696}{61746}Just get me down|before I ruin the upholstey. {61750}{61795}Help! I can't breathe! {61799}{61845}- Hurry!|- Get us out! {61849}{61907}We're suffocating! {61911}{61986}Somebody call IX-I-I! {61990}{62029}Easy, fellas.|You'll be all right. {62033}{62071}We can't last much longer! {62075}{62135}Get us out before we get crushed! {62594}{62642}- How you boys doin'?|- We're okay now. {62646}{62733}Jeepers, mister.|You're really strong. {62737}{62821}Well, just ty to be a little|more careful next time, okay, kids? {62825}{62894}We sure will. {63004}{63039}Stirring performance, boys. {63043}{63089}I was really moved. {63117}{63174}"Jeepers, mister"? {63178}{63253}I was going for innocence. {63257}{63351}And, hey, two thumbs way,|way up for our leading lady. {63355}{63404}What a dish.|What a doll. {63408}{63463}Get outta there, ya big lug,|while ya still can. {63480}{63530}Phil, I-I did great. {63534}{63578}They even applauded. Sort of. {63616}{63671}Huh! I hate|to burst your bubble, kid... {63675}{63720}but that ain't applause. {63882}{63966}Ph-Ph-Ph-Phil?|What do you call that thing? {63970}{64029}Two words: {64033}{64070}am-scray! {64143}{64228}Let's get ready to rumble! {64401}{64454}That's it. Dance around!|Dance around! {64458}{64538}Watch the teeth! Watch the teeth!|Keep going. Come on. Come on. {64542}{64612}Lead with your left.|Lead with your left. Your other left! {65248}{65301}Whoa! {65916}{65992}All right! All right!|You're bad! Okay! {65996}{66097}See, Phil?|That... That wasn't so hard. {66101}{66178}Kid, kid, kid.|How many horns do you see? {66182}{66230}- Six?|- Eh, close enough. {66234}{66279}Let's get you cleaned up. {66382}{66496}Guys, guys, relax.|It's only halftime. {66573}{66616}That doesn't sound good. {66804}{66840}Definitely not good! {67536}{67608}Will you forget|the head-slicing thing? {67792}{67860}Phil, I don't think we covered this one|in basic training! {68143}{68212}My favourite part of the game: {68280}{68320}sudden death. {68830}{68922}Oh. There goes another one. {68926}{68978}Just like Achilles. {69030}{69074}Game... {69078}{69165}set, match. {69238}{69288}Hmm? {69720}{69788}Phil, you gotta admit. {69792}{69846}That was pretty heroic. {69850}{69953}Ya did it, kid! Ya did it!|Ya won by a landslide! {70031}{70076}Hades mad. {70138}{70196}Well, what do you know? {70308}{70392}From that day forward,|our boy Hercules could do no wrong. {70396}{70481}He was so hot,|steam looked cool. {70485}{70561}Oh, yeah {70565}{70626}Bless my soul|Herc was on a roll {70630}{70699}Person of the week|in every Greek opinion poll {70703}{70767}- What a pro|- Herc could stop a show {70771}{70839}Point him at a monster|and you're talkin 'SRO {70843}{70907}- He was a no one|- A zero, zero {70911}{70981}- Now he's a honcho|- He's a hero {70985}{71049}Here was a kid|with his act down pat {71052}{71119}Zero to hero in no time flat {71123}{71187}- Zero to hero|-Just like that {71190}{71258}When he smiled|the girls went wild {71262}{71321}With oohs and aahs {71325}{71392}And they slapped his face|on every vase {71396}{71463}On every "vahse" {71467}{71528}From appearance fees|and royalties {71532}{71593}Our Herc had cash to burn {71597}{71662}Now nouveau riche and famous {71666}{71749}He could tell you|what's a Grecian urn {71753}{71818}Say amen|There he goes again {71822}{71886}- Sweet and undefeated|- And an awesome ten for ten {71889}{71948}Folks lined up|just to watch him flex {71952}{72029}And this perfect package|packed a pair of pretty pecs {72033}{72099}Hercie, he comes|He sees, he conquers {72103}{72169}Honey, the crowds|were goin 'bonkers {72173}{72231}- He showed the moxie brains and spunk|- Yeah {72235}{72308}- From zero to hero|- A major hunk {72312}{72369}- Zero to hero|- And who'd have thunk {72459}{72504}Who put the glad in gladiator {72508}{72546}Hercules {72550}{72607}Whose darin 'deeds|are great theatre {72611}{72646}Hercules {72650}{72694}- Isn't he bold|- No one braver {72698}{72747}- Is he sweet|- Our favourite flavour {72751}{72795}- Hercules|- My man. {72799}{72842}- Hercules|- Hercules {72846}{72892}- Hercules|- Ooh {72896}{72954}- Hercules|- Look at my Hercules {72958}{73033}- Hercules, Hercules|- Yeah, yeah, yeah {73037}{73090}Bless my soul|Herc was on a roll {73094}{73153}- Undefeated|- Riding high {73157}{73229}- And the nicest guy.|- Not conceited {73233}{73280}- He was a nothing|- A zero, zero {73284}{73327}- Now he's a honcho|- He's our hero {73331}{73402}He hit the heights|at breakneck speed {73406}{73459}From zero to hero {73463}{73507}Herc is a hero {73511}{73633}Now he's a hero {73637}{73685}Yes, indeed {73758}{73805}Pull! {73883}{73927}Nice shootin', Rex. {73931}{74004}I can't believe this guy.|I throw everything I've got at him... {74008}{74066}and it doesn't even... {74070}{74159}What are those? {74163}{74255}Um, I don't know.|I-I thought they looked kinda dashing. {74259}{74347}I've got 24 hours|to get rid of this bozo... {74351}{74480}or the entire scheme I've been setting|up for 18 years goes up in smoke... {74484}{74608}and you are wearing|his merchandise? {74794}{74850}Thirsty? {75087}{75185}Looks like your game's over. Wonderboy|is hitting every curve you throw at him. {75214}{75258}Oh, yeah. {75295}{75366}I wonder if maybe|I haven't been throwing... {75370}{75499}the right curves at him,|Meg, my sweet. {75503}{75547}Don't even go there. {75551}{75602}See, he's gotta have|a weakness... {75606}{75657}because everybody's|got a weakness. {75661}{75717}I mean, for what?|Pandora, it was the box thing. {75721}{75785}For the Trojans, hey.|They bet on the wrong horse, okay? {75788}{75852}We simply need|to find out Wonderboy's. {75856}{75908}I've done my part.|Get your little imps... {75912}{75955}They couldn't handle him|as a baby. {75959}{76023}I need somebody|who can handle him as a man. {76026}{76067}Hey, I've sworn off manhandling. {76071}{76123}Well, you know, that's good|because that's what got you... {76127}{76171}into this jam in the first place,|isn't it? {76175}{76255}You sold your soul to me|to save your boyfriend's life. {76259}{76318}And how does this creep thank you? {76322}{76396}By running off|with some babe. {76400}{76444}He hurt you real bad,|didn't he, Meg? Huh? {76448}{76497}Look, I learned my lesson, okay? {76501}{76556}Which is exactly why|I got a feelin'... {76560}{76606}you're gonna leap|at my new offer. {76610}{76681}You give me the key|to bringing down Wonder Breath... {76685}{76770}and I give you the thing|that you crave most... {76774}{76841}in the entire cosmos: {76845}{76917}your freedom. {76986}{77029}You should|have been there, Father. {77033}{77080}I mangled the Minotaur... {77084}{77148}grappled with the Gorgon. {77151}{77210}Just like Phil told me.|I analysed the situation... {77214}{77271}controlled my strength|and kicked. {77330}{77374}The crowds went wild! {77432}{77501}- Thank you. Thank you.|- Hah! {77505}{77599}You're doing great, son.|You're doing your old man proud. {77603}{77651}I'm glad to hear you|say that, Father. {77655}{77709}I've been waiting|for this day a long time. {77713}{77775}Hmm. What day is that, son? {77779}{77852}The day I rejoin the gods. {77856}{77938}You've done wonderfully.|You really have, my boy. {77942}{77986}You're just not there yet. {77990}{78080}You haven't proven yourself|a true hero. {78084}{78163}But, Father, I've beaten every|single monster I've come up against. {78167}{78244}I-I'm-I'm the most famous person|in all of Greece. {78248}{78339}I'm-I-I'm an action figure! {78343}{78407}I'm afraid being famous|isn't the same... {78410}{78490}as being a true hero. {78494}{78527}What more can I do? {78531}{78607}It's something you have|to discover for yourself. {78611}{78713}- But how can I...|- Look inside your heart. {78751}{78796}Father, wait! {79180}{79227}On your left|is Hercules' villa. {79231}{79285}Our next stop|is the Pecs and Flex Gift Shop... {79289}{79363}where you can pick up the great hero's|30-minute workout scroll... {79367}{79412}"Buns of Bronze". {79416}{79468}At 1:00, you got a meeting|with King Augeas. {79472}{79511}He's got a problem|with his stables. {79515}{79554}I'd advise you|not to wear your new sandals. {79558}{79613}- Phil.|- I told you, don't move! {79617}{79665}DGR, the Daughters|of the Greek Revolution. {79669}{79730}- At 3:00, you gotta get a girdle|from some Amazons.|- Phil. {79734}{79805}Phil, what's the point? {79855}{79887}That's it! {79891}{79936}Keep your toga on, pal. {79991}{80069}Yuck! What do you mean,|"What's the point?" {80073}{80108}You wanna go to Olympus,|don't ya? {80112}{80210}Yeah, but this stuff doesn't seem|to be getting me anywhere. {80214}{80278}You can't give up now.|I'm countin' on ya. {80282}{80328}I gave this everything I had. {80389}{80457}Listen to me, kid.|I seen 'em all. {80461}{80558}And I am tellin' you...|and this is the honest-to-Zeus truth... {80562}{80609}you got somethin'|I never seen before. {80613}{80657}- Really?|- I can feel it... {80661}{80721}right down in these stubby|bowlegs of mine. {80725}{80796}There is nothin'|you can't do, kid. {80839}{80887}- It's him!|- Hey, watch it! {80891}{80922}- Watch it! Watch...|- I touched his elbow! {80926}{80995}- Hey, girls!|- I got his sweatband! {80999}{81052}Phil, help! {81056}{81137}- Okay. Escape plan: beta.|- Gotcha. {81141}{81231}- Hey! Where is he?|- There he goes! On the veranda! {81235}{81280}Whoa! {81634}{81714}Let's see. What could be behind|curtain number one? {81718}{81756}Meg! {81760}{81824}It's all right.|The sea of raging hormones has ebbed. {81827}{81889}Gee, i-i-it's|great to see you. {81893}{81939}I-I-I missed you. {81943}{82001}So this is what heroes do|on their days off. {82005}{82055}Nah. I'm no hero. {82059}{82112}Sure ya are.|everybody in Greece... {82116}{82198}thinks you're the greatest thing|since they put the pocket in pita. {82202}{82279}I know, it's... it's crazy. You know, I|can't go anywhere without being mobbed. {82283}{82342}- I mean...|- You sound like you could use a break. {82346}{82461}Think your nanny goat would go berserk|if you played hookey this afternoon? {82465}{82542}Oh, gee, I-I don't know. Uh, Phil's got|the rest of the day pretty much booked. {82546}{82591}Ah, Phil, schmill. {82595}{82656}Just follow me out the window,|round the dumbbells. {82660}{82724}You lift up the back wall|and we're gone. {82854}{82904}Wow. What a day. {82908}{82954}First that restaurant by the bay. {82958}{83039}And then that, that play,|that, that, that Oedipus thing. {83043}{83101}Man! I thought I had problems. {83162}{83282}- Psst! Stop foolin' around.|- Yeah. Get the goods, sister. {83286}{83368}I didn't know that playing hookey|could be so much fun. {83372}{83434}Yeah, neither did I. {83438}{83516}- Thanks, Meg.|- Oh. {83520}{83570}Don't thank me just yet. {83574}{83632}- Oh!|- Oop. Careful. {83636}{83682}sorry. Weak ankles. {83686}{83786}Oh, yeah? Well, maybe you better|sit down for a while. {83790}{83886}So, uh, do you|have any problems... {83890}{83937}with things like this? {83941}{84011}- Uh...|- Weak ankles, I mean. {84015}{84082}Oh, uh, no, not really. {84086}{84177}No weaknesses whatsoever? {84181}{84247}- No trick knee?|- Uh... {84251}{84311}Ruptured disks? {84364}{84482}No. I'm, I'm, I'm afraid|I'm, uh, fit as a fiddle. {84486}{84583}- Wonderboy, you are perfect.|- Thanks. {84618}{84675}Whoops! {84710}{84759}It looks better that way. {84763}{84820}No, it really does. {84982}{85032}You know, when, when I was a kid... {85036}{85138}I, I would have given anything to be|exactly like everybody else. {85142}{85202}You wanted to be|petty and dishonest? {85206}{85295}- everybody's not like that.|- Yes, they are. {85299}{85377}- You're not like that.|- How do you know what I'm like? {85381}{85425}All I know is... {85429}{85550}you're the most amazing person with|weak ankles I've ever met. {85636}{85676}Oh! {85680}{85738}Meg, when I'm with you... {85742}{85846}I-I don't feel so alone. {85850}{85908}Sometimes it's better|to be alone. {85912}{85993}- What do you mean?|- Nobody can hurt you. {86084}{86205}Meg? I would never ever hurt you. {86209}{86271}And I don't wanna|hurt you, so... {86275}{86334}let's both do|ourselves a favour and... {86338}{86453}stop this before we... {86457}{86549}All right! Break it up!|Break it up! Party's over! {86553}{86618}- I've been lookin' all over this town!|- Calm down, mutton man. {86622}{86681}- It was all my fault.|- You're already on my list, sister! {86685}{86736}So don't make it worse! {86793}{86858}And as for you, ya bum,|you're gonna go to the stadium... {86862}{86914}and you're gonna be put through|the workout of your life! {86918}{87019}- Now get on the horse.|- Okay, okay. {87023}{87087}- I'm sorry.|- Ah, he'll get over it. {87224}{87294}Move! Move, move,|move, move, move! Move! {87433}{87492}Hey, watch it. Watch it.|Watch it. {87496}{87549}Keep your goo-goo eyes on the... {87602}{87704}That's it. Next time, I drive. {87874}{87947}Oh, what's the matter with me? {87951}{88038}You'd think a girl would learn. {88042}{88145}If there's a prize|for rotten judgment {88149}{88242}I guess I've already won that {88246}{88353}No man is worth the aggravation {88357}{88441}That's ancient history|Been there, done that {88445}{88535}Who do ya think you're kidding|He's the earth and heaven toya {88539}{88619}Try to keep it hidden|Honey, we can see right through ya {88623}{88674}- Oh, no|- Girl, you can't conceal it {88678}{88793}We know how you feel|and who you're thinkin' of {88797}{88929}Oh, no chance, no way|I won't say it, no, no {88933}{89018}You swoon, you sigh|Why deny it, uh-oh {89022}{89118}It's too cliche|I won't say I'm in love {89122}{89207}Shoo-doo, shoo-doo|Oo-oo-oo {89211}{89293}I thought my heart|had learned its lesson {89297}{89381}It feels so good|when you start out {89385}{89491}- Ah|- My head is screaming, get a grip, girl {89495}{89586}Unless you're dyin'|to cry your heart out, oh {89590}{89675}You keep on denyin ' who you are|and how you're feelin' {89679}{89775}Baby, we're not buyin'|Hon, we saw you hit the ceilin' {89779}{89862}Face it like a grown up|When you gonna own up that you {89866}{89935}- Got|- Got|- Got it bad {89939}{90067}Oh, no chance, no way|I won't say it, no, no {90070}{90162}- Give up, but give in|- Check the grin, you're in love {90166}{90253}This scene won't play|I won't say I'm in love {90257}{90347}You're doin 'flips, read our lips|You're in love {90351}{90395}- Shoo-doo, shoo-doo|- You're way off base {90399}{90442}- I won't say it|- She won't say love {90446}{90538}Get off my case|I won't say it {90542}{90670}Girl, don't be proud|It's okay, you're in love {90673}{90737}Oh {90741}{90816}At least out loud {90820}{90907}I won't say I'm in {90911}{90978}- Love|- Shoo-doo, shoo-doo, shoo-doo {90982}{91058}Shoo-doo|Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la {91062}{91114}Ha {91362}{91414}Hey, what's the buzz, huh, Meg? {91418}{91498}What is the weak link|in Wonderboy's chain? {91502}{91595}-Get yourself another girl. I'm through.|-I'm sorry. You mind runnin'|that by me again? {91599}{91663}I must have had a chunk of brimstone|wedged in my ear or something. {91667}{91767}Then read my lips! Forget it. {91771}{91878}Meg, Meg, Meg,|my sweet deluded little minion. {91882}{91993}Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy,|but ever so crucial little, tiny detail? {91997}{92041}I own you! {92045}{92158}- Oh, oh, I got another horn here.|- You work for me. {92162}{92219}That kid's gonna be|doin' laps for a month. {92223}{92295}If I say, "Sing",|you say, "Hey, name that tune". {92299}{92406}If I say, "l want Wonderboy's head|on a platter", you say... {92410}{92454}Medium or well done? {92458}{92565}Oh! I knew that dame was trouble.|This is gonna break the kid's heart. {92569}{92644}- I'll work on that.|- I'm sorry. You hear that sound? {92648}{92758}That's the sound of your freedom|fluttering out the window forever. {92762}{92854}I don't care.|I'm not gonna help you hurt him. {92858}{92954}I can't believe you're getting|so worked up about some guy. {92958}{93014}This one is different.|He's honest and, and he's sweet. {93018}{93062}- Please!|- He would never do anything to hurt me. {93066}{93180}- He's a guy.|- Besides, O Oneness, you can't beat him. {93184}{93289}He has no weaknesses.|He's gonna... {93293}{93377}I think he does, Meg. {93381}{93470}I truly think he does. {94010}{94120}- Hey, Phil, what happened to you?|- Kid, we gotta talk. {94124}{94194}Oh, Phil, I just had|the greatest day of my life. {94198}{94276}I, I, I can't stop thinkin'|about Meg. {94280}{94347}- She's somethin' else.|- Kid! I'm tryin' to talk to you! {94351}{94395}Will you come down here|and listen? {94399}{94510}Aw, how can I come down there|when I'm feelin' so up? {95117}{95146}Gotcha! {95150}{95210}Ah, very nice.|What I'm tryin' to say is... {95214}{95274}That if it wasn't foryou,|I never would have met her. {95278}{95332}Oh, I owe you big time,|little guy. I do. {95336}{95366}Will you just knock it off|for a couple of seconds? {95370}{95430}Rule number 38. Come on, Phil.|Keep them up there, huh? {95434}{95504}- Phil, I got two words for ya: duck!|- Listen to me. She's... {95508}{95545}- My dream come true?|- Not exactly. {95549}{95594}- More beautiful than Aphrodite?|- Aside from that! {95598}{95695}- The most wonderful...|- She's a... She's a fraud! {95699}{95758}She's been playin' ya for a sap! {95762}{95831}- Aw, come on. Stop kiddin' around.|- I'm not kiddin' around. {95835}{95879}- She...|- I know you're upset about today,|but that's no reason to... {95883}{95938}- Kid, you're missin' the point.|- The point is, I love her. {95942}{95981}- She don't love you.|- You're crazy. {95985}{96030}- She nothin' but a two-timin'...|- Stop it! {96034}{96089}- No-good, lyin', schemin'...|- Shut up! {96194}{96279}Phil. I... Oh, I'm, I'm sorry. {96283}{96373}Okay, okay, that's it.|You won't face the truth? Fine. {96377}{96435}Phil, wait. Where ya goin'? {96439}{96539}I'm hoppin' the first barge outta here.|I'm goin' home. {96543}{96594}Fine! G... {96598}{96669}Go! I don't... I don't need you. {96724}{96802}I thought you were gonna be|the all-time champ... {96806}{96885}not the all-time chump. {96930}{96998}Jeez Louise,|what got his goat, huh? {97069}{97115}Baboom. Name is Hades,|lord of the dead. {97119}{97166}- Hi. How ya doin'?|- Uh, not now, okay? {97170}{97234}Hey, hey. I only need a few seconds,|and I'm a fast talker, all right? {97238}{97302}See, I've got|this major deal in the works.|A real estate venture, if you will. {97306}{97354}And, Herc, you little devil you.|May I call you Herc? {97358}{97414}You seem to be constantly|getting in the way of it, huh? {97418}{97478}- You've got the wrong guy.|- Hear me out, ya little... {97482}{97529}Just hear me out, okay? {97533}{97598}So I would be eternally grateful|if you would just... {97602}{97658}take a day off from|this hero business of yours. {97662}{97708}Jeez, I mean, monsters,|natural disasters. {97712}{97754}- You wait a day, huh?|- You're out of your mind. {97758}{97868}Not so fast, because, ya see,|I do have a little leverage|you might wanna know about. {97902}{97994}- Meg!|- Don't listen, Herc... {97998}{98048}- Let her go!|- Here's the trade-off. {98052}{98119}You give up your strength|for about 24 hours, okay? {98123}{98174}Say, the next 24 hours. {98178}{98223}And Meg here is free as a bird|and safe from harm. {98227}{98278}We dance, we kiss, we schmooze,|we carry on, we go home happy. {98282}{98341}What do ya say? Come on. {98345}{98389}People are... are gonna|get hurt, aren't they? {98393}{98440}Nah! I mean, it's, you know,|it's a possibility. {98444}{98488}It happens 'cause, you know, it's war,|but what can I tell ya? {98492}{98537}Anyway, what do you|owe these people, huh? {98541}{98609}Isn't Meg...|you little smoochy face you...|Isn't she more important than they are? {98613}{98659}- Stop it!|- Isn't she? {98663}{98727}You've gotta swear|she'll be safe from any harm. {98730}{98776}Fine, okay.|I'll give you that one. {98780}{98830}Meg is safe, otherwise|you get your strength right back. {98834}{98883}Yadda, yadda. Fine print. Boilerplate.|Baboom. Okay? We're done. {98887}{98931}What do you say we shake on it? {98935}{98984}Hey, I really don't have,|like, time to bat this around. {98988}{99033}I'm kind of on a schedule here.|I got plans for August. Okay? {99037}{99107}I need an answer, like, now.|Going once, going twice... {99111}{99201}- All right!|- Yes! We're there! Bam! {99378}{99446}You may feel just a little queasy.|It's kind of natural. {99450}{99499}Maybe you should sit down! {99554}{99643}Now you know how it feels to be|just like everybody else. {99647}{99729}Isn't it just peachy? {99733}{99787}Oh! You'll love this.|One more thing. {99791}{99855}Meg, babe, a deal's a deal. {99858}{99934}You're off the hook.|And by the way, Herc, {99938}{99988}is she not, like,|a fabulous little actress? {99992}{100026}- Stop it.|- What do you mean? {100030}{100129}I mean your little chickie-poo here|was working for me all the time. {100133}{100222}- Duh.|- You're... You're lying! {100226}{100342}- Help!|- Jeepers, mister, you're really strong. {100346}{100441}- Couldn't have done it without you,|sugar, sweetheart, babe.|- No! It's... It's not like that. {100445}{100562}I didn't mean to...|I-I couldn't... I... I'm so sorry. {100566}{100660}Our hero's a zero!|Our hero's a zero! {100709}{100803}Well, gotta blaze. There's a whole|cosmos up there waiting for me... {100807}{100853}with, hey, my name on it. {100909}{101002}So much for the preliminaries,|and now on to the main event! {101314}{101395}Brothers! Titans! {101399}{101482}Look at you in your squalid prison! {101486}{101605}- Who put you down there?|- Zeus! {101609}{101667}And now that I set you free... {101671}{101754}what is the first thing|you are going to do? {101758}{101847}- Destroy him!|- Good answer. {101907}{102008}Crush Zeus! {102069}{102148}Freeze him! {102254}{102333}Melt Zeus! {102337}{102443}Blow him away! {102511}{102617}Zeus! {102621}{102661}- Uh, guys?|- Huh? {102665}{102731}Olympus would be that way. {102735}{102833}- Zeus!|- Freeze him! {102836}{102881}- Hold it, bright eye.|- Huh? {102885}{102959}I have a special job for you,|my optic friend. {103138}{103225}- Huh? Huh?|- Destroy Zeus! {103228}{103319}Oh, we're in trouble!|Oh, big trouble! I gotta... {103323}{103378}My lord and lady,|the Titans have escaped. {103382}{103427}And they're practically|at our gates! {103431}{103528}Sound the alarm!|Launch an immediate counterattack! {103532}{103594}- Go! Go!|- Gone, babe. {103655}{103707}Huh? {103822}{103945}- Charge!|- On to battle! {104199}{104256}Ya windbag! {104286}{104350}Boom, badda-boom!|Boom, boom! {104436}{104529}Hercules! {104533}{104611}Where are you? {104652}{104722}- What can we do?|- Where is Hercules? {104726}{104794}Yeah, Hercules will save us. {104798}{104878}Hercules! {104882}{105017}Come out! Face me! {105021}{105101}Oh, what are you doing?|Without your strength, you'll be killed. {105105}{105172}- Hercules!|- There are worse things. {105176}{105267}- Run!|- Wait! Stop! {105271}{105393}- Hey, look! It's Hercules.|- Thank the gods! We're saved! {105397}{105494}So, you mighty Hercules. {105659}{105712}- Oh!|- Oh! {105824}{105914}Easy, horsefeathers.|Whoa! Stop twitching! {105918}{106016}Listen.|Hercules is in trouble. {106019}{106090}We've gotta find Phil. He's the only one|who can talk some sense into him. {106218}{106271}Get back! Blast you! {106369}{106471}- Ooh! Chihuahua!|- Zeus! {106502}{106575}Come on! Hury up!|We're shovin' off here! {106578}{106670}Phil! Phil,|Hercules needs your help. {106674}{106730}What does he need me for|when he's got friends like you? {106734}{106847}- He won't listen to me.|- Good! He's finally learned somethin'. {106851}{106950}Look, I know what I did was wrong,|but this isn't about me. It's about him. {106953}{107034}If you don't help him now,|Phil, he'll die. {107038}{107089}I need more thunderbolts! {107093}{107198}Uh, Hephaestus has been captured,|my lord. everyone's been captured. {107202}{107289}I've been captured.|Hey, hey, watch the glasses. {107411}{107479}Zeusy, I'm home! {107483}{107574}Hades! You're behind this? {107577}{107656}You're correct, sir! {107727}{107782}Flea! {107882}{107953}- Hercules!|- Phil. {107957}{108034}Come on, kid. Come on. Fight back.|Come on. You can take this bum. {108038}{108155}- This guy's a pushover. Look at him.|- You were right all along, Phil. {108159}{108240}- Dreams are for rookies.|- No, no, no, no, no, kid. {108244}{108341}Givin' up is for rookies. I came back|'cause I'm not quittin' on ya. {108344}{108442}I'm willin' to go the distance.|How about you? {108502}{108572}Me bite off head! {108669}{108743}Whoa, baby! {109047}{109102}Hercules! Look out! {109106}{109178}Meg! No! {109385}{109449}What's happening? {109475}{109539}H-Hades' deal is broken. {109566}{109635}He promised I wouldn't get hurt. {109639}{109761}Meg, why... why... why did ya...|You didn't have to... {109765}{109866}Oh, people always|do crazy things... {109869}{109930}when they're in love. {109934}{110027}Oh, Meg. Meg, I... I... {110031}{110146}Are you always this articulate? {110198}{110326}You... You haven't got much time.|You can still stop Hades. {110328}{110405}I'll watch over her, kid. {110409}{110508}You're gonna be all right.|I promise. {110569}{110636}Let's go, Pegasus! {110681}{110737}Hup, two, three, four!|Come on, everybody! {110741}{110805}- I can't hear you!|- Oh, oh, that. {110809}{110909}I swear to you, Hades,|when I get out of th... {110913}{110974}I'm the one giving orders now,|bolt boy. {110977}{111043}And I think|I'm gonna like it here. {111047}{111145}Don't get too|comfortable, Hades! {111149}{111230}- Hercules!|- This ought to even the odds! {111302}{111393}- Yeah, Hercules! Thank you, man.|- Get them! {111469}{111519}Whoa! Hey! {111523}{111604}No! Get him! Not me! Him! {111659}{111772}Follow the fingers! Him!|The yutz with the horse! {111934}{112004}- Thank you, my boy.|- Nice horsey! {112008}{112123}My intentions were pure.|I really was attracted to you. {112169}{112295}- Throw!|- Ah! Now watch your old man work! {112299}{112343}Uh-oh! {112417}{112476}Guys, get your|titanic rears in gear... {112480}{112557}and kick some Olympian butt. {112561}{112627}Whoa! Is my hair out? {113258}{113362}Thanks a ton, Wonderboy. But at least|I've got one swell consolation prize... {113366}{113471}a friend of yours|who's dying to see me. {113475}{113502}Meg. {114230}{114267}Meg. {114421}{114480}Meg, no. {114952}{115001}Oh, I'm sorry, kid. {115066}{115122}There's some things|you just can't change. {115201}{115247}Yes, I can. {115338}{115402}We were so close! {115406}{115474}So close. We tripped|at the finish line. Why? {115477}{115582}Because our little nut, Meg,|has to go all noble. {115674}{115735}- Where's Meg?|- Oh. Look who's here. {115739}{115847}- Wonderboy, you are too much.|- Let her go. {115851}{115942}Get a grip. Come here. Come here.|Let me show you around. {115961}{116045}Hmph. Well, well.|It's a small underworld, after all, huh? {116075}{116165}- Meg!|- No, no, no. Mustn't touch. {116169}{116233}You see, Meg's running|with a new crowd these days... {116236}{116288}and not a very lively one at that. {116323}{116402}You like making deals.|Take me in Meg's place. {116406}{116534}Oh, hmph. The son of my hated rival|trapped forever in a river of death. {116538}{116594}- Going once!|- Hmm? Is there a downside to this? {116598}{116669}- Going twice!|- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay! {116673}{116755}You get her out.|She goes; you stay. {116830}{116911}Oh, you know what slipped my mind?|You'll be dead before|you can get to her. {116915}{116988}That's not a problem, is it? {117585}{117637}Oh! {117641}{117693}What's the matter|with these scissors? {117697}{117756}The thread won't cut. {117942}{118002}This is...|This is impossible! {118006}{118074}You... You... You can't be alive.|You'd have to be a, a... {118077}{118142}A god? {118224}{118314}Hercules, stop!|Ya can't do this to me! Ya can't... {118318}{118394}Fine. Okay. Listen.|Okay, well, I deserved that. {118398}{118490}Herc, Herc, Herc? Can we talk?|Y-Your dad? He's a fun guy, right? {118494}{118544}So maybe you could|put in a word with him... {118548}{118598}and he'd kind of blow|this whole thing off, you know? {118602}{118676}Meg, Meg, talk to him.|You know, a little schmooze, uh... {118746}{118872}Get away from me! Don't touch me!|Get your slimy souls off me! {118876}{118933}He's not gonna be happy|when he gets outta there. {118936}{119010}- You mean, if he gets outta there.|- Taxi! {119014}{119058}- If? If is good.|- Taxi! {119061}{119149}I don't feel so good.|I-I feel a little... {119702}{119792}Wonderboy, what...|Why did you... {119826}{119947}People always do crazy things|when they're in love. {120142}{120196}Whoa! Hey, hey, hey, hey! {120482}{120542}Three cheers|for the mighty Hercules! {120546}{120616}Oh, yeah.|Flowers for everybody! Oh! {120885}{120934}Hercules! {120938}{121064}Hercules, we're so proud of you. {121068}{121128}Mother. {121156}{121231}Fine work, my boy!|You've done it! {121235}{121290}You're a true hero. {121294}{121391}You were willing to give your life|to rescue this young woman. {121394}{121485}For a true hero isn't measured|by the size of his strength... {121489}{121578}but by the strength|of his heart. {121582}{121697}Now, at last, my son... {121701}{121768}you can come home. {122084}{122191}Congratulations, Wonderboy.|You'll make one heck of a god. {122386}{122499}Father, this is the moment|I've always dreamed of... {122502}{122586}but... {122590}{122706}a life without Meg,|even an immortal life... {122710}{122778}would be empty. {122818}{122879}I... {122883}{122939}I wish to stay|on Earth with her. {122943}{123007}I finally know where I belong. {123338}{123379}Hit it, ladies. {123383}{123470}Oh, gonna shout it|from the mountaintops {123474}{123510}A staris born {123514}{123570}It's the time|for pullin 'out the stops {123574}{123610}A star is born {123614}{123707}- Honey, hit us with a hallelu|- That kid came shinin' through {123711}{123755}Girl, sing the song {123759}{123895}Come blow your horn|A star is born, a star is born {123899}{124001}- He's a hero who can please the crowd|- A star is born {124005}{124094}Come on, everybody, shout out loud|A star is born {124098}{124195}Just remember in the darkest hour|Within your heart's the power {124199}{124289}For makin 'you a hero too {124293}{124367}So don't lose hope|when you're for lorn {124371}{124427}- That's Phil's boy!|- Just keep your eyes {124431}{124506}- You just keep your eyes|- Upon the skies|- Upon the skies {124510}{124548}- every night, a star is|- every night {124552}{124598}- Right in sight, a star is|- Burning bright {124602}{124725}Burning bright|A star is born {133043}{133090}What do ya say?|It's happy ending time! {133094}{133161}everybody's got a little taste|of somethin' but me. I got nothin'. {133165}{133232}I-I'm here with nothin'.|Anybody listenin'? {133236}{133291}It's like I'm... What am I,|an echo or something? {133295}{133369}Hello? Hello?|Am I talking to, what? {133373}{133457}Hyperspace? Hello, it's me.|Nobody listens. 64248