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1
00:00:02,635 --> 00:00:06,373
So, the corrupt senator shows up
near the end of the movie,
2
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:09,642
the good guy pops out of the
trunk, slugs him and says,
3
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,512
"There was a recount. You lose."
4
00:00:12,645 --> 00:00:14,014
What's your point?
5
00:00:14,114 --> 00:00:17,717
You wanna figure out more
cool stuff to say when
you slug people?
6
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,487
No. My point is, there's
no way he could have
7
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,455
got out of the trunk
that fast.
8
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:25,892
Movies aren't real. We've
had this discussion before.
9
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:29,696
Lock me in the trunk, see how
long it takes me to get out.
10
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,365
Really?
11
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:37,170
If I'm not out in 20 minutes,
open 'er up.
12
00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:41,875
Let me out! Let me out!
13
00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:44,177
Let me out! Let me out!
14
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,881
How long was that?
15
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:53,686
♪ You can tell me that
your dog ran away ♪
16
00:00:53,853 --> 00:00:57,057
♪ Then tell me that it
took three days ♪
17
00:00:57,190 --> 00:01:02,896
♪ I've heard every joke,
I've heard every one you say ♪
18
00:01:03,029 --> 00:01:06,900
♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪
19
00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:10,637
♪ Look closer, Baby,
you're so wrong ♪
20
00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:14,074
♪ And that's why you can
stay so long ♪
21
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:18,912
♪ Where there's not a lot
goin' on ♪♪,
22
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,750
It was scary being
in that car trunk.
23
00:01:23,783 --> 00:01:25,919
The closest thing
I could compare it to
24
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,921
is being locked
in some kinda trunk.
25
00:01:28,054 --> 00:01:29,823
Why were you in there, again,
26
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,825
I mean, besides
the obvious reasons?
27
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:35,628
What's an obvious reason?
Ooo, did you rat on the mob?
28
00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:37,697
I was just testing a theory.
29
00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:42,402
But let me tell ya, once inside,
time and space had no meaning.
30
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:44,938
30 minutes felt
like an eternity.
31
00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:46,940
Karen said it was
like 10 seconds.
32
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:49,609
Karen was on the other
side of the trunk lid.
33
00:01:49,642 --> 00:01:51,611
She wasn't what I call
"in country."
34
00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:54,080
You mean "in trunk"?
Yeah.
35
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:57,750
Come on, let's share. Come on.
36
00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:00,620
Aw! Isn't this fun?
37
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,122
Compared to?
38
00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:05,191
I used to have Girls' Night,
back home, all the time.
39
00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:07,927
Would the same people ever
come back a second time?
40
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,864
I have noticed that no one
is taking advantage of Tilley,
41
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,432
our tarot card reader.
42
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,933
Are we doin' this?
43
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,236
Yes, we are
all doing this.
44
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:18,171
Now who wants to go first?
45
00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:21,174
How about we go in order
of who gives a crap?
46
00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:23,643
Okay. I'll go first.
47
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,014
Hey, jackass, did
you hear about Davis?
48
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,350
About him bein' locked
in a car trunk?
49
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,819
He got himself locked
in the car trunk.
50
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:34,654
No, I never
heard about that.
51
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:37,257
Well, he did, locked
inside the trunk.
52
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,958
What a jackass.
53
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,561
Honestly, Dad, you gotta
give that word a rest.
54
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,129
What word?
55
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,631
Jackass.
56
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:47,300
Davis is a jackass for
gettin' locked in the trunk.
57
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:50,970
Yesterday the bread delivery
guy was a jackass for wearin'
a digital watch.
58
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,306
And apparently I'm a jackass
just for sittin' here.
59
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,008
Everybody's a jackass.
60
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:59,512
I know. That's why I use
the word so often.
61
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:02,649
This card is "The Lovers,"
meaning you will be married.
62
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,517
Yes!
63
00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:07,287
Not that I need a
man to complete me.
64
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,322
But yes.
65
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:12,559
You've already met him.
He's dark haired.
66
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:15,828
And "The Hermit" card means
he isn't working right now.
67
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,363
Sounds like Hank.
68
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:21,034
Mrs. Hank Yarbo. Jackpot!
69
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:23,069
Geez, this tarot
stuff is fun.
70
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,837
It's not Hank.
71
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,707
Give me a name,
a non-Hank name.
72
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:33,079
His name starts with the 18th
letter of the alphabet.
73
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,714
R.
74
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,851
I do 30 crosswords a day.
75
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:42,188
Name starts with R.
76
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,324
Wow, the possibilities
are endless.
77
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:46,226
The world is my oyster.
78
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,561
What does that card mean?
79
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,763
It means she will
never leave Dog River.
80
00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:52,232
What?
81
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:55,535
Guess this isn't our
last Girlie Night.
82
00:03:58,037 --> 00:03:59,572
Hey, how much
gas you want?
83
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:01,241
Ah, 10 bucks worth.
84
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:04,544
Hey, Oscar, can I borrow
10 bucks f gas?
Fat chance.
85
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:07,213
Come on, man. I'm in
a bit of bind, here.
86
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,082
He's already
started pumpin' it.
87
00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:11,050
You shoulda thought of
that first, jackass.
88
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,786
Lighten up, hammerhead.
89
00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:16,089
Hammerhead? What's hammerhead?
90
00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:17,991
You, hammerhead.
91
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,293
Brent, you're goin' over
the 10 dollar mark.
92
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:23,296
This is your way of gettin'
back at me for jackass.
93
00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:26,766
Yeah. It's got kind of a
nice ring to it, doesn't it,
hammerhead?
94
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:29,469
I might have to borrow an
extra $10, there, hammerhead.
95
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:33,306
Only he calls me hammerhead.
Stop callin' me hammerhead!
96
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:35,375
All right, fine.
97
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:38,077
See ya later, hammerhead.
98
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:42,282
I'm not responsible
for that tank of gas.
99
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,586
Now, I'm not judging your
trunkless life,
100
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,888
but since I've been out,
colours are brighter,
101
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,390
food tastes better.
102
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,458
You were in there
for 10 seconds.
103
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,560
You're just jealous.
104
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:56,262
I've come through
the other side.
105
00:04:56,296 --> 00:05:00,300
No. You came out the same side
you went in 7 seconds earlier.
106
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,468
I left my groceries here.
107
00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:03,970
That's a hammerhead move.
108
00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:05,905
Stop callin' me hammerhead,
ya jackass.
109
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:07,940
Stop calling me jackass,
ya hammerhead.
110
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,442
It's disrespectful.
111
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,811
What do ya think jackass is?
112
00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:14,614
Sorry, hammerhead, as long
as you keep usin' the J-word,
113
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:16,182
I'm gonna keep
droppin' the H-bomb.
114
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,651
I'm not playing your stupid
games. Where's my groceries?
115
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:20,953
Oh, I put those all
back on the shelf.
116
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,488
You jackass.
117
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,324
Hammerhead.
118
00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:27,293
I shoulda thought
of this years ago.
119
00:05:29,929 --> 00:05:31,431
So what's the deal, guys?
120
00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:34,167
You have a tarot card party
and don't invite me?
121
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,668
It was a Girls' Night.
122
00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:37,136
We had to drink cosmos.
123
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,671
Aw, really?
124
00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:41,941
I'm tired of Girls' Night being
all frilly froo-froo crap.
125
00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:44,677
Why can't a Girls' Night
have some nards to it?
126
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:46,846
You heard me, nards.
127
00:05:46,946 --> 00:05:48,881
Yeah, we should have
another Girls' Night
128
00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:50,383
that isn't so girlie.
129
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:52,318
Drink some beer,
play some poker.
130
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,253
Smoke cigars,
watch kickboxing.
131
00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:55,755
Barbeque some steaks.
132
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,990
Kill the cow with
our bare hands.
133
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:02,995
Fine, we'll buy the steaks.
But I want beer and kickboxing.
134
00:06:03,162 --> 00:06:06,499
When should we do this?
It's a Girls' Night.
135
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:08,167
Damn.
136
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:16,843
Do you know any
dark-haired, unemployed men
whose name starts with R?
137
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,878
Yes. Okay, my turn.
138
00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:22,348
Do you know any blonde women
whose name starts with Y?
139
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,883
No, this isn't a game.
140
00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:26,753
This tarot card reader told me
I was gonna marry someone
141
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,388
whose first name
started with R.
142
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,423
That tarot card
stuff is bunkum.
143
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:33,526
Who's got bunkum? I thought
they stopped makin' that.
144
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,895
Lacey had her
tarot cards read.
145
00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:37,697
Oh, that's crappolla.
146
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,733
It's more bunkum,
or hooey.
147
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:42,869
I don't really believe
in that stuff either.
148
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:46,739
Although I do think there is
some merit to astrology.
149
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:48,541
And palm reading.
150
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,877
And crystals can be
very powerful.
151
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,779
Yeah, you sound
like a real skeptic.
152
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,747
My mom was against all of it.
153
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:57,784
One time she caught me with
a Ouija board and yelled,
154
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,887
"Richard Henry Yarbo, you get
rid of that this instant!"
155
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,422
Richard?
156
00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:03,523
Yeah.
157
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:05,758
Your first name
is Richard?
158
00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:08,060
Hey, yeah, Hank's first
name starts with R.
159
00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:11,097
Ooo-ooo, Hank's first
name starts with R.
160
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,065
No, no, this can't
be happening.
161
00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:14,667
What's up with her?
162
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:17,537
Ah, we were playin' a game
and she just lost,
163
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,572
big time.
164
00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:25,978
If your first name is Richard,
why do you go by Hank?
165
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:29,115
It's my middle name.
Plus I hate the name Richard.
166
00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:30,650
Kids would tease me.
167
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,852
Oh, they called you Dick?
168
00:07:32,985 --> 00:07:36,456
Why would they do that?
Real nice, Lacey.
169
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:40,660
Isn't that interesting?
Hank's name starts with R.
170
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,497
Hank, a dark-haired unemployed
man whose name starts with R.
171
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,532
Yeah, that is
kinda interesting.
172
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:48,000
If you think that's
interesting--
173
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,535
Brent, no.
174
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,471
You're right.
You tell it better.
175
00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:55,975
Okay, you know what? Fine.
It's not a big deal.
176
00:07:56,008 --> 00:07:58,878
I-I saw a tarot card
reader and she told me
177
00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:02,548
I was gonna marry a-a
dark-haired unemployed guy
178
00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:05,451
whose name started with R.
179
00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:08,187
You know, but that
could be anybody.
180
00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:11,023
Yeah, it could be anybody.
181
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,525
But it's obviously me.
182
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:15,194
Whoo-ooo! Hoo-hooo! Hah-hah!
183
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:22,001
Darkness,
184
00:08:22,034 --> 00:08:24,036
aloneness,
185
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:27,507
caught without my
cell phoneness.
186
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,511
What are ya doing?
187
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:35,047
I'm writing a poem
to help me cope.
188
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:39,185
Has it been 2 seconds,
3 seconds maybe?
189
00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:43,556
These are the words
of Davis the Baby.
190
00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:46,392
Until you've spent more
than 10 seconds in a trunk,
191
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:50,062
you've no right to
add a stanza to my poem.
192
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,198
Close the lid.
193
00:08:58,404 --> 00:08:59,972
Had enough?
194
00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:02,608
No. What was that, 5 seconds?
195
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,410
Once enclosed in the inky--
196
00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:07,747
Shut it, your mouth and the lid.
197
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:11,751
Okay, big shot.
198
00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:14,253
Let's see how long
you can take it.
199
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,123
Oh, we're gonna need chips
for the poker game.
200
00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:19,091
Yeah, and some dip,
and Cheezies.
201
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,394
I meant poker chips.
202
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:23,563
Sounds like you don't
know much about cards.
203
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:25,097
And you're an expert.
204
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,833
I played with the guys
a couple a weeks ago.
205
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:30,970
Now, let's play
some Hold Them.
206
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:35,107
Yeah, I'm enjoying
myself too.
207
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,577
What game is it you
wanted to play, again?
208
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:40,279
Hold Them,
Texas Hold Them.
209
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,586
We had lotsa laughs.
210
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,822
Yep, you're pretty
lucky, Lacey.
211
00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:52,592
You're probably thinkin',
"How did I score so big?
212
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:55,595
This guy's got a truck
with a full tank of gas."
213
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:58,130
It's just a
stupid tarot card.
214
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,099
Okay? I have free will.
215
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:02,134
I could make any
choice I want.
216
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,136
Yeah. She could marry me.
217
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:06,405
No. Your name has
to start with R.
218
00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:10,643
Ah, it must be
such a relief.
219
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:13,813
No more second guessing,
no more decisions,
220
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:17,416
no more waiting in restaurants
for someone to show up.
221
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,952
I'm just saying
that would be sad.
222
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:21,954
Karen just called
from her cell phone.
223
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,190
She's stuck in the trunk
of the cruiser
224
00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:26,459
and she said you'd know
what that meant.
225
00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:28,160
Oh, geez!
226
00:10:31,497 --> 00:10:33,633
I was right here
the whole time.
227
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:38,638
What's the deal
on the chocolate bars?
228
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,640
A buck each or 2 for 5.
229
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,174
Well, that's
more expensive.
230
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,643
How do you mean?
231
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:46,145
What do you mean
how do I mean?
232
00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:48,147
That's just stupid. Only a--
233
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,649
Only a what?
234
00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:53,619
Oh.
235
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,855
I see what you're doin'.
236
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,957
You think you can
make me say jackass.
237
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,492
Hammerhead.
238
00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:00,993
I wasn't sayin' it.
239
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,729
I was sayin' you wanted
me to say it, jackass!
240
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,831
Hammerhead.
241
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:09,168
It is such a relief
to meet you.
242
00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,203
Uh, hey, Lacey,
we're outta pickles.
243
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,339
What are you doing?
Making my lunch.
244
00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:14,907
This is my restaurant.
245
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:17,610
Our restaurant. You know,
50-50, which I think is fair,
246
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,646
considering you started it.
I'm a reasonable life partner.
247
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,382
Mm, yeah, about that,
I'd like you to meet Roy.
248
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:26,085
And, Roy, what letter does
your name start with?
249
00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:27,687
Are you serious?
250
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,455
R... R.
251
00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:31,691
Oh, hey. Mine too. I'm Hank.
252
00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:34,860
Do you have a job
right now, Roy?
253
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:37,296
Like I was saying,
I've just finished law school
254
00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:40,066
and I'm just waiting to hear
back on articling positions.
255
00:11:40,232 --> 00:11:42,101
So, technically,
you're unemployed.
256
00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:43,969
Geez, don't
be so hard on him.
257
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,905
Don't worry.
I used to be unemployed.
258
00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:48,507
Now it doesn't matter,
'cause I hooked up with Lacey.
259
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,575
Congratulations.
260
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,911
No, he didn't.
Hey, lunch is on us.
261
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:57,249
Well, usually Oscar turns
this knob, waits too long,
262
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,418
then he pushes this button
263
00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:01,253
until the thing
explodes into flames.
264
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:02,722
But not today.
265
00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:05,524
Oh, Emma, Emma, Emma.
266
00:12:05,691 --> 00:12:09,028
Let the old Barbeque
Doctor take a look.
267
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,934
Yep. As I suspected,
you're outta propane.
268
00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:17,937
You should be.
269
00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:20,139
If there's one thing
I know, it's barbeques.
270
00:12:20,272 --> 00:12:22,308
You know, most people just
disconnect the tank
271
00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:25,244
and bring that in,
not the whole barbeque.
272
00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:26,746
I know that.
273
00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:28,981
But that can wear out the...
274
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:31,817
connecty clips
to the hose nozzle.
275
00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:33,753
Just fill it.
276
00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:39,592
Hey, what's the name of
that fellow with the farm
out by the auction market?
277
00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:41,127
Tom?
278
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,762
No, west of the
auction market.
279
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:45,498
Jack Fenton.
Everybody knows Jack.
280
00:12:45,564 --> 00:12:47,166
That's right,
good old Jack.
281
00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:49,935
Hey, he's got those, uh,
trees on his property, there.
282
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:52,271
What are they,
birch or elm?
283
00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:53,739
Ash.
284
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,776
He doesn't know his
ash from his elms.
285
00:12:57,543 --> 00:12:59,145
That's right, stupid me.
286
00:12:59,311 --> 00:13:01,147
Well, now, uh, Jack's
neighbour is saying
287
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,848
that those trees belong to him.
288
00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:04,350
Well, he's wrong.
289
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:05,851
They're on Jack's property.
290
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:08,087
So they're not the neighbour's
ashes, they're...
291
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:10,322
Jack's ashes.
292
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:13,592
No, Hank, he
has to say it.
293
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,494
Is that your big trick?
294
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:18,464
How long did it take ya
to think up that gem?
295
00:13:18,497 --> 00:13:19,999
Never mind.
296
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:21,634
Oh, geez.
297
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,102
I'm confused.
298
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,670
What's new, jackass?
299
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:26,806
Hammerhead.
300
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,808
Dammit! You made me say jackass!
301
00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:30,643
Hammerhead.
302
00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:33,512
LACEY:
What do we have to
get in the city?
303
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,648
Cigars and big
slabs of red meat.
304
00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:37,783
Oh. Yummy.
305
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,019
Hey, guess what?
306
00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:43,022
I met a new guy.
307
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:44,590
In Dog River?
308
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:46,192
Do I know him?
309
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:47,593
Roy.
310
00:13:47,626 --> 00:13:49,361
Dark, handsome...
311
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,597
Roy. Is he a lawyer?
312
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:53,199
He will be soon.
313
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:56,569
Mr. Perfect sounds an
awful lot like Roy Hiscock,
314
00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:58,537
who's married.
315
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,039
But that's my Roy.
316
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:01,841
No, he's Mrs. Hiscock's Roy.
317
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:04,043
That's why they call her
Mrs. Hiscock.
318
00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:05,678
Well, I'm not giving up.
319
00:14:05,811 --> 00:14:08,214
Just because a tarot
card reader says something,
320
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:11,116
it doesn't mean
it's gonna come true.
321
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:14,620
Why are we stopping?
We still need to
go to the city.
322
00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:17,656
I'm not doing anything.
"Engine failure."
323
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,859
Okay, what does that mean?
324
00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:24,063
Oh, great.
325
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:26,565
I really am never
leaving Dog River.
326
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:28,667
Why'd you call Hank?
327
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,236
He's yours now.
328
00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:33,572
Might as well use him for
something, Mrs. Yarbo.
329
00:14:35,674 --> 00:14:38,077
Aren't you glad we got
this reliable truck, hon?
330
00:14:38,143 --> 00:14:40,179
Glad is not the word.
331
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:47,686
What are you doin' here?
332
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,389
Just came by to make a
sandwich. You want one?
333
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,424
What's in it?
334
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,593
Turkey, swiss,
lettuce, tomato, mayo.
335
00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:56,295
Sounds okay.
336
00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:58,731
Yeah, except instead of
the squeezy bottle of mayo,
337
00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:00,599
I accidentally used
Mom's hand lotion.
338
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:04,303
Oh, yeah, I feel like such a--
Oh, what would you call it, a...
339
00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:05,804
Moron?
340
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:07,506
No, it's not really moronic,
341
00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:09,942
it's more something that
would be done by a...
342
00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:11,443
Pinhead?
343
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:14,613
Well, I'm gonna go ahead
and eat the sandwich anyway,
344
00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:17,149
because, you know, the, uh,
lotion will probably
345
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:20,286
just make my insides
soft and supple.
346
00:15:20,452 --> 00:15:22,588
So, here I go.
347
00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:25,758
Enjoy.
348
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:35,000
So once I install this, if
someone gets stuck in the trunk,
349
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,770
they just pull the button
and the lid pops.
350
00:15:37,803 --> 00:15:41,507
Wow. This thing's really got ya
scared now, doesn't it?
351
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,776
Don't rub it in, okay?
352
00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:48,514
I'm sorry.
353
00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:49,982
I-I can't do this.
354
00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:51,650
That's all right.
355
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:55,487
We all can't face our
demons head on, like I do.
356
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,160
You're an inspiration.
357
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:04,163
Pass me the pliers.
358
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,136
That's the biggest
steak I've ever seen.
359
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:14,807
Not me. I've done ones twice
this size on the old Q.
360
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:15,874
Q?
361
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:17,710
Short for barbeque.
362
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,778
Oh, that's a
real timesaver.
363
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,181
How long do you grill it?
364
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,183
Hunka cow like that?
365
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,685
I'd say probably an hour.
366
00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:30,689
Stand back,
Doctor Barbeque!
367
00:16:30,789 --> 00:16:33,192
Wait! It's only been 45 minutes!
368
00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:35,027
This is broken too!
369
00:16:40,699 --> 00:16:42,534
Thanks, Chuck.
370
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:45,971
Those things are even
more complicated than
the propane tank.
371
00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:48,540
Which disconnects
from the base unit.
372
00:16:48,707 --> 00:16:50,776
Just a little tip for ya.
373
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,345
Maybe if Hank got a job--
374
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:54,880
Oh, no.
375
00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:58,217
You're starting a shame spiral.
I think I saw this on Oprah.
376
00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,818
He keeps himself in shape.
377
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,221
You know, he's got
an all right body.
378
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:05,557
Lacey, snap out of it.
It's Hank.
379
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:08,394
He uses ChapStick
as deodorant.
380
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,063
Well, there's worse people.
381
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:12,831
Right?
382
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,200
On death row, maybe.
383
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,569
HANK:
I don't know what's
wrong with the missus.
384
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,571
I think she might
be depressed.
385
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:22,841
Depressed? I wouldn't be
surprised if she was
starting a shame spiral.
386
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,843
I don't know what it is.
387
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:28,380
I bet if you thought long and
hard you could figure it out.
388
00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:32,251
Or I could just tell ya,
save some time.
389
00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:33,786
It's this wedding thing.
390
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,088
Is it cost? Because
I'll pay for half.
391
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,557
I mean I'll have to
owe her, but I'll--
392
00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:40,926
You guys aren't in love.
You're barely in like.
393
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:43,896
I know. But hubba, hubba.
394
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,232
Real classy, hammerhead.
395
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:49,234
I thought your dad
was hammerhead.
396
00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:51,170
What? Did I just call you
hammerhead?
397
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:52,638
Yeah, for no reason.
398
00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:54,740
There's plenty of
reasons, hammerhead.
399
00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:56,775
Dammit, I can't stop!
400
00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:58,610
Did you get more steaks?
401
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,446
Salmon steaks.
They were out of beef.
402
00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:02,915
Salmon steaks
aren't manly.
403
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:05,918
They're red...
404
00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:09,655
red-ish... off-pink.
405
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,790
I'm not the one
in the frilly blouse.
406
00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:14,960
All my stuff's in the laundry.
My shirt reeked of smoke.
407
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:17,830
The whole place did.
I lit some scented candles.
408
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,631
Guys, Lacey's really depressed.
409
00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:21,834
We have to do something
to help her.
410
00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:23,936
Is that lilac?
411
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,604
Yeah.
412
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,406
What's goin' on in here?
413
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:30,042
Ya doin' anything stupid
ya might want me to see?
414
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:32,544
You know what, I've been
thinkin' about this whole
415
00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:36,148
jackass/hammerhead thing,
and I want to apologize.
416
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:38,984
I said some things
I shouldn't have said,
417
00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:40,819
mainly hammerhead.
418
00:18:40,919 --> 00:18:44,156
Anyway, I realize now
you can't help yourself.
419
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,724
Yes, I can.
420
00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:48,527
Not usin' the J-word
is as easy as pie.
421
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:52,464
No, no, you're addicted.
I know. I was startin' to
get hooked on the H-bomb.
422
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:56,135
It wasn't that hard to
stop, once I found a few
replacement words.
423
00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:57,636
Butthead.
424
00:18:57,669 --> 00:18:59,505
Butthead? That's just
kinda childish.
425
00:18:59,671 --> 00:19:01,173
You heard me, nincompoop.
426
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,175
Are you one of
the Three Stooges?
427
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,110
Maybe I am, fish brain.
428
00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:08,447
All right, I'm officially
rescinding the moratorium
on jackass.
429
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:12,684
Don't know what your big words
mean, cabbage... breath.
430
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:15,654
Okay, now I'm beggin' ya.
Please go back to jackass.
431
00:19:15,687 --> 00:19:17,356
I'll think about it.
432
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:20,492
Barn smell.
433
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,997
KAREN:
Here's Chuck from
the fire department.
434
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,532
Thanks for doin' this.
435
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,901
EMMA:
And thanks again for
putting out the barbeque.
436
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,702
She's coming.
437
00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:38,177
Oh, you guys. Look at this.
438
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:40,579
Poached salmon,
scented candles.
439
00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:43,348
You really had me believing
you didn't like Girls' Night.
440
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:46,285
And we have a little surprise
for you, just for fun.
441
00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:49,521
Introducing the amazing...
442
00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:52,191
Chuck.
443
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:54,126
He's a palm reader.
444
00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:58,297
No offence, but I'm really
not in the mood for
another prediction.
445
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:01,233
And then your
plane crashes.
446
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,369
So I do get to
leave Dog River.
447
00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:07,239
And catches fire,
448
00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:10,409
because no one knows how to
use the fire extinguisher.
449
00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:12,544
Fire safety is important.
450
00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:14,413
Not enough people
take that seriously.
451
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:20,919
Oh. And you die alone,
without a husband,
never married.
452
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:23,255
Oh.
453
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:25,757
Oh, that is so great.
454
00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:29,528
I die in a fiery crash,
but no Hank.
455
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:31,930
Chuck's pretty good, huh?
456
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:35,601
Chuck is amazing. Thank you.
457
00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:40,272
Karen, Davis just called and
said he's stuck in the trunk
458
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:42,808
and you'd know
what that means.
459
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:44,810
It means it's time
to play poker.
460
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,010
Whoo-hoo!
461
00:20:50,282 --> 00:20:53,252
I just wanted to say,
no hard feelings. Okay?
462
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:56,488
I got a little wrapped up and
took it all too seriously.
463
00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:59,291
Well, I guess we both did.
464
00:20:59,324 --> 00:21:01,793
You definitely did
more than me.
465
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:05,130
You know, I'm sure you're
gonna make a fine husband
466
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,965
for someone, who isn't me.
467
00:21:07,132 --> 00:21:09,134
Come on, Hank, let's go.
468
00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:11,270
You're dating the
tarot card reader?
469
00:21:11,303 --> 00:21:12,404
Yeah.
470
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,673
We should get going.
We're gonna be late.
471
00:21:14,806 --> 00:21:17,309
Oh, there ya go with
the predictions again.
472
00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:21,179
Captioning by VerticalSync
www.verticalsync.com
473
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:27,619
♪ I don't know the same things
you don't know ♪
474
00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:35,460
♪ I don't know
I just don't know ♪
475
00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:44,836
♪ It's a great big place ♪
476
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:48,540
♪ full of nothin' but space ♪
477
00:21:48,674 --> 00:21:50,442
♪ and it's my happy place ♪
478
00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:54,179
♪ I don't know
Yes you do ♪
479
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:57,883
♪ You just won't admit it ♪
480
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:01,853
Want to have a gas online?
Visit us at cornergas.com
481
00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:06,825
♪ I don't know ♪
482
00:22:06,858 --> 00:22:09,961
♪ I just don't know ♪♪
35158
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