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1
00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:11,311
Did I ever tell you about
that time in public school
2
00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:13,213
when I stole
that kid's lunch and--
3
00:00:13,246 --> 00:00:17,150
Buried it in the sandbox?
Yeah. I was the kid.
4
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:18,985
Oh.
5
00:00:22,222 --> 00:00:24,991
Hey, I wonder who invented
the salt shaker.
6
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,994
Probably someone named
Wendy Salt or-or, uh,
7
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,463
Sally Shaker, huh?
8
00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:32,499
Now you're just forcin' it.
9
00:00:32,665 --> 00:00:35,001
Man, I can't believe we've
run out of conversation.
10
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:37,437
It was inevitable.
We've known each other 35 years.
11
00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:40,040
We're bound to run
out of things to say.
12
00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:43,009
But not like this.
I haven't even finished
my first beer.
13
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:45,011
Okay, easy. Let's just
ride this out.
14
00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:47,480
I'm sure we'll come
up with somethin'.
15
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:56,689
I got nothin'.
16
00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:58,992
Hey, remember that time
you stole my lunch
17
00:00:59,025 --> 00:01:01,027
and buried in the s--
oh, yeah.
18
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:06,699
♪ You can tell me that
your dog ran away ♪
19
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,470
♪ Then tell me that it
took three days ♪
20
00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:15,708
♪ I've heard every joke,
I've heard every one you say ♪
21
00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:19,779
♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪
22
00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:23,516
♪ Look closer, Baby,
you're so wrong ♪
23
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:27,220
♪ And that's why you can
stay so long ♪
24
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:31,324
♪ Where there's not a lot
goin' on ♪♪
25
00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:34,327
Hey, did you see that?
26
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:38,064
A mouse just ran across
the floor. It was as
big as a gopher.
27
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:41,968
If he was as big as a gopher,
you know what he mighta been?
28
00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:45,438
It wasn't a gopher.
I know the difference between
mice and gophers, jackass.
29
00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:46,940
I was gonna say squirrel.
30
00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:50,243
It was a mouse. It was the
biggest mouse I've ever seen.
31
00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:53,113
Did it have boxing gloves on
and bounce up and down?
32
00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:54,747
That mistake's
been made before.
33
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,382
What are you
talking about?
34
00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:59,519
It was a mouse, and
I'm gonna catch it.
35
00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:01,754
Oh, father.
36
00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:04,424
This could really catch on.
37
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:07,260
Hey, guys.
What could catch on?
38
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:10,730
The other night we were bored,
so we invented a new game.
39
00:02:10,763 --> 00:02:12,499
An avoiding work
type of game?
40
00:02:12,565 --> 00:02:14,434
More of a general
knowledge kinda game,
41
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:16,369
to see how much you
know, generally.
42
00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:18,271
Yeah, each player gets
asked questions,
43
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:20,773
not important questions,
just random, unimportant,
44
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,408
almost trivial questions.
45
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,911
Questions with very little
relevance in the real world.
46
00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:28,615
You try to answer
correctly, and when you do,
you get a little wedge.
47
00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:31,918
When you answer them
correctly, the wedges
form a little circle--
48
00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:34,287
Like a cake?
No, more like a--
49
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:36,356
Wheel of cheese?
No.
50
00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:38,424
Pizza?
No, more dessert-like.
51
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:41,027
The problem is, Brent and
I would be unbeatable
52
00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:42,962
because we know
too much stuff.
53
00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:46,799
I don't know about your game,
but it sounds a lot like
Trivial Pursuit.
54
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,334
Trivia what?
55
00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:49,903
Trivial Pursuit, the game.
56
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:52,272
Never heard of it.
57
00:02:56,309 --> 00:02:59,145
You lookin' for
the mouse too?
58
00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:01,147
No. I hurt my back,
59
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:04,317
because Brent asked me to
stack a buncha wiper fluid.
60
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:05,885
Hey, could you
stack these?
61
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,387
I'm busy.
62
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,989
Oooh!
63
00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:12,625
He thinks he can
push me around.
64
00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:15,161
Who, the mouse?
65
00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:17,463
I've stopped
talking to you.
66
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,433
Right. We don't wanna
scare the mouse.
67
00:03:22,835 --> 00:03:26,372
If Trivia Persual were real,
we woulda heard of it.
68
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:29,175
She probably overheard
us talkin' and she's
copyin' our game.
69
00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:31,010
Trivial Pursuit,
everybody's heard of it.
70
00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:33,947
It-it's sold like a
zillion kajillion copies.
71
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:37,817
Those aren't even real numbers.
Yeah, what a giveaway.
72
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:40,553
Could we get a skillion
prillion cups of coffee, please?
73
00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:46,426
Seriously, more coffee?
Just two, though.
74
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,197
Hey, Wanda, you okay?
75
00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:55,868
Oh, yeah. I find it relaxing
to lay my face on a counter
76
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,370
and groan like a harp seal.
77
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:59,906
Harp seals don't groan.
Harp seals harp.
78
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,575
My back is killing me.
Do me a favour.
79
00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:06,546
Empty two bottles of
ibuprofen into my mouth
and grab me a root beer.
80
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:08,881
Pills should be
a last resort.
81
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:10,883
Here, I studied a
bit of physiotherapy.
82
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:13,353
Maybe I can help you.
No, I don't want--
83
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:14,887
Oooo-ooo-oooh!
84
00:04:14,954 --> 00:04:16,556
Oooo-ho!
85
00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:18,591
That was a harp seal.
86
00:04:18,691 --> 00:04:20,727
Hey, Oscar,
how's it goin'?
87
00:04:20,893 --> 00:04:22,762
What's it look
like I'm doin'?
88
00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:25,498
I asked how it was goin'?
89
00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:27,667
Oh. Well, I'll tell ya
what I'm doin'.
90
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:29,435
I'm buyin' mouse traps.
91
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:32,438
Those are the kind
that kill the mouse.
92
00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:35,708
You can get humane traps.
Do the catch and release method.
93
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:38,244
I prefer the kill
and flush method.
94
00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:43,783
All right, then, look at this,
Trivial Pursuit.
95
00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:46,586
What do you have to
say about it now, huh?
96
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,888
Oh, man, way to
steal our idea.
97
00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:51,724
Why don't you go
invent your own game?
98
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:54,093
Though I do admire
your craftsmanship.
99
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,962
My craftsmanship?
100
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,098
Oh, come on. How could I have
made a professionally printed
101
00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:02,101
board game with custom
fitted plastic pieces in
under four hours?
102
00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:05,305
You got big city connections.
Who knows what you can do?
103
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,940
She even took
our wedge idea.
104
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,043
Don't kill the little
fella. He's cute.
105
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,078
You've never seen him.
106
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:15,281
I don't have to. I can just
imagine how cute he is.
107
00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:17,817
Little eyes, little nose,
eating his cheese,
108
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:20,586
tapping the keys on
his little piano.
109
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,156
What are you, some
kinda animal lover?
110
00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:24,757
Why? Is that a bad thing?
111
00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:28,428
It is when you say it
like this: animal lover!
112
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:30,797
You're right,
it does sound bad.
113
00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:32,865
Still, I got nothin'
against animals.
114
00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:35,468
I once nursed an owl
back to health.
115
00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:37,103
There you go.
116
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:40,306
You fly away, Hooty,
and be free.
117
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,975
Go, Hooty, go!
118
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:48,014
Hooty did a big majestic
loop and screeched goodbye.
119
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:51,284
Maybe I should have called
him Screechy or Loopy.
120
00:05:51,317 --> 00:05:53,553
Bird lover!
121
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,091
Hey, do you feel any better?
122
00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:01,327
I feel like ya hit me in
the spine with a pickaxe.
123
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:03,329
Is that better or worse?
124
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,332
Come here. Put your neck
in my hands for a second.
125
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,334
Hey, what's going on?
126
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:11,204
Wanda's back was sore, so
I did that back cracking thing,
127
00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,172
where you go behind
the person and--
128
00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:15,341
Don't touch me!
129
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:19,011
You shouldn't mess around
with things you don't
fully understand.
130
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,613
Rest for now.
131
00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:24,117
I'll whip ya up a batch of
paste that'll fix ya right up.
132
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:26,185
What kinda paste?
133
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,020
Oh, you know, paste.
134
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,323
I don't fully understand
how it works,
135
00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:32,892
but it's been in the family
for generations.
136
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:35,528
Like some old hillbilly
mudpack or somethin'?
137
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,363
Hillbilly?
138
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:40,533
I meant pioneer.
139
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:44,203
Now, this is how a
pro works, Karen.
140
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:48,808
You take three
dollops of goop
141
00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:52,044
and spread it evenly
like spaghetti sauce.
142
00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:54,580
It's burning!
The warmth means it's working.
143
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:57,683
I didn't say warmth. It feels
like you're welding my spine.
144
00:06:57,717 --> 00:06:59,852
That also means
it's working.
145
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:02,555
What do the red blotches mean?
146
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:04,424
It means it's time
to shut up.
147
00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:06,359
What? There's blotches?
148
00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:08,828
Not anymore. Now your
whole back is red.
149
00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:13,866
Oww! Now it's really burning!
My skin is on fire!
150
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,364
Geez, I'm glad
that's not me.
151
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:20,339
Hey, Trivial Pursuit.
152
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:21,974
Oh, so you've heard of it?
153
00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:25,411
Uh, yeah. I have the
Genius edition at home.
154
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,781
It's Genus. There's no "I".
There's an "I" in genius.
155
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:31,551
Yeah, well, Brent and Hank
haven't even heard of it.
156
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,786
Sure they have.
Hank has Trivial Pursuit Jr.
157
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,788
He's still not very good at it.
158
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:37,290
Really?
159
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:39,859
Brent's had Trivial Pursuit
parties at his house,
160
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,662
before you moved here.
161
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,864
I think they were
before you moved here.
162
00:07:44,897 --> 00:07:46,899
Pretend I never
mentioned the parties.
163
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:51,504
I have another
idea for your back.
164
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:53,372
No need.
165
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,142
After the redness went down
and my skin stopped burning
166
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,444
with the intensity
of a thousand suns,
167
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:01,180
my back started to
feel much better.
168
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,916
Well, that's good news.
Can you stack the wiper fluid?
169
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:05,418
Can I ever.
170
00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:07,620
Great. I'll be next door.
Okay.
171
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:11,491
I'm just glad Karen didn't
damage you with her "science."
172
00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:14,060
That quack? No, no.
173
00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:17,930
It was all you and your
bucket of hot crap.
174
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:20,500
That crap? No, no.
175
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:23,202
It was all you and your
savage spine twisting.
176
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,806
Oh, good. Because I was worried
Emma's thing was gonna kill you.
177
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,241
That was insane.
178
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:31,978
No. Thanks to you, my back
feels like a million bucks.
179
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:34,614
Stop braggin'
about your back,
180
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:39,952
Here's my secret,
hard candy.
181
00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:42,989
Most people use cheese as bait.
Most people are stupid.
182
00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:45,358
Mice like candy.
183
00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:48,861
Okay. But before you do this,
I'm going to show you a little
184
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:51,631
re-enactment of what it's
gonna be like for the mouse.
185
00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:56,068
This is the mouse.
That's a breadstick.
186
00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:58,971
Let's pretend it's a mouse.
And this is the mousetrap.
187
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:01,173
What are ya pretendin' that is?
A mousetrap.
188
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,742
Slow down.
189
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:05,678
Okay, kids, I'm off
to get us some food.
190
00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:07,680
Try and find some hard candy.
191
00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:09,348
Who's sayin' that?
His kids.
192
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,384
Oh. So there's
other breadsticks.
193
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:15,087
Okay, here I go. I'm sure
nothing bad will happen.
194
00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:18,424
What, with me only four days
from retirement. Ya-hoo!
195
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,526
Do dee do, dee do,
dee do, do.
196
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,397
The end.
Oh, no!
197
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:25,932
See? It's sad, isn't it?
198
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:28,634
No. While I was watchin'
your stupid puppet show,
199
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:31,203
the mouse stole
all the candy!
200
00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:34,473
Oh, he's clever.
Good job, Squeaky.
201
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:40,212
So, I just found out
something kinda neat.
202
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:43,249
I don't know, you guys
might find it trivial.
203
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,719
But Karen told me you've both
played Trivial Pursuit before.
204
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,821
She's lying. Who's Karen?
205
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:52,491
And you've had Trivial Pursuit
parties at your house,
206
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:55,127
which I obviously
wasn't invited to.
207
00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:56,729
Those were before
you moved here.
208
00:09:56,896 --> 00:10:00,099
Hah! So you admit you've had
Trivial Pursuit parties.
209
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:04,537
No. I mean, I've had parties
at my house, where there were
board games,
210
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:09,208
some of which may or may not
have involved trivia.
211
00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:12,545
And you know,
we pursued the answers.
212
00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:14,647
It-it--a little help?
213
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,182
No, you're doin' great.
214
00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:19,118
You guys have been yankin'
my chain this whole time.
215
00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:21,354
Oh, okay. Ding, we're out.
216
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,190
She caught on
at 11:17 a.m.,
217
00:10:24,223 --> 00:10:27,059
which means she bought it
for 23 hours and 5 minutes.
218
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,763
What are you
talking about?
219
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,965
Hank and I did
invent a new game,
220
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:35,267
but the game we invented is
called Gulla-Baloney.
221
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,037
The object of the game
is to see how long
222
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:39,972
you can make someone believe
something unbelievable,
223
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:42,642
like never having heard of
Trivial Pursuit before.
224
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:45,478
I thought we were callin'
it GullaBull, like bull.
225
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,480
No, Gulla-Baloney
It's more fun.
226
00:10:47,546 --> 00:10:49,649
Gulla-Baloney!
227
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:52,685
How's that more fun?
Which one do you like better?
228
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:55,254
I hate you both equally.
229
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,091
Hey, Karen.
230
00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:02,161
Good news about
Wanda's back.
231
00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:03,796
Sure is.
232
00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:05,731
So, no hard feelings?
233
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,500
Why would I
have hard feelings?
234
00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:09,669
My homemade poultice
did the trick.
235
00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:11,203
Not according to Wanda.
236
00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:13,506
She said you were insane
and a hillbilly.
237
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:16,842
I was just talking to Wanda
and she said, and I quote,
238
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:19,879
my "wonderful medicine"
is what fixed her.
239
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:21,881
Whatever primes
your still, Jethro.
240
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,883
It was my physio
that fixed her.
241
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:27,219
Well, she called you a quack,
a stupid quacky jerk.
242
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:29,121
Her words.
243
00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:31,090
It doesn't look like
you're feelin' better.
244
00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:33,092
You sound like you're
still in pain.
245
00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:35,661
Just resting with my back
up against the wall.
246
00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:39,065
If you're feelin' better, let's
see ya stand up on your own.
247
00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:41,267
Fine.
248
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,303
Ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow.
249
00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:47,173
Ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow!
250
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,608
Ta-daaah.
251
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:52,278
I knew it.
You're not feeling better.
252
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:54,213
Karen did this to you,
didn't she?
253
00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:58,584
It was Emma May's swamp goo.
You're lucky to be alive!
254
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:00,653
I'm kinda wishing I wasn't.
255
00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:03,723
You guys want
anything else?
256
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:06,292
Hm, I'm cravin' some
vanilla ice cream.
257
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:08,661
Ooo, sorry.
258
00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:10,696
I don't have any
vanilla ice cream.
259
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,198
Aw.
260
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:15,868
I don't carry it here, because,
uh, I'm deathly allergic to it.
261
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,403
Oh, yeah.
262
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,406
You know, even if a little bit
of vanilla ice cream
263
00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:22,908
comes in contact with
my skin, I could die.
264
00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:25,578
You were eating vanilla
ice cream in here yesterday.
265
00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:27,580
Ha-haah! I got ya!
266
00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:30,616
That guy's eatin' vanilla
ice cream right over there.
267
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:33,185
You maybe need to
practice this a bit.
268
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:37,656
Oh, you guys. You can dish it
out, but you can't take it.
269
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:41,360
Can ya dish out some
vanilla ice cream?
270
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:46,699
Have you seen my traps?
271
00:12:46,732 --> 00:12:49,702
No. But I see you have
a hole in your pants.
272
00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:55,808
I'm confiscating these.
273
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,277
You've gone skating
with thieves?
274
00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:00,880
Potential murder weapons.
275
00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:05,117
I have other traps, jackass!
276
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:09,321
Hey, have we got a bucket here,
277
00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:13,125
or a bucket and some string,
or a box and some thread,
278
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:15,494
or some kinda container
that can hold a mouse
279
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,663
and some kind of long strand
280
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:19,932
that triggers the container
to catch that mouse?
281
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:22,134
I'm trying to catch a mouse.
282
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:25,237
I don't know. But let me
try something on you.
283
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:32,978
What was that?
284
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,614
That means it's working.
How do ya feel?
285
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,150
If I say good,
will you let me leave?
286
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:43,689
I'm goin' out to buy
some different traps.
287
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,925
If you see that mouse,
don't kill it.
288
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:48,460
It's between him and me now.
It's personal.
289
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,964
I've been working here for years
and I've never seen one mouse.
290
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:54,667
I think you might be wrong
about this, you know,
291
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:57,002
how you're wrong
about everything?
292
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,405
This is just another
one of those.
293
00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:01,473
Not this time.
294
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,175
Okay.
295
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:05,544
Go get him, killer.
296
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,280
Bring me back some morphine.
297
00:14:09,815 --> 00:14:11,350
Oh.
298
00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:13,452
There is a mouse.
299
00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:16,155
Uh-uh, don't come over here.
300
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,656
Shoo!
301
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,291
Get lost!
302
00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:21,193
Go!
303
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,298
Geez, you are cute.
304
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,802
Did you just pee on me?
305
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,041
What's that?
306
00:14:36,141 --> 00:14:38,377
It's a catch and
release safety trap.
307
00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,446
Well, it looks like
a cardboard box.
308
00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:42,648
That's what I want
the mouse to think,
309
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:45,284
it's just a cardboard box.
310
00:14:45,417 --> 00:14:48,220
And where's your partner,
Officer Backcracker?
311
00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:51,190
How did ya know
she cracked my back?
312
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:54,326
She cracked your back too?
Are you in pain?
313
00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:56,395
Barely felt anything.
You're in shock.
314
00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:59,798
So you're sayin' I'm in so much
pain I don't feel any pain?
315
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:01,934
Exactly. Come with me.
316
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:04,403
I'll mix up a batch
of paste for ya.,
317
00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:07,006
Uh, maybe later.
318
00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:09,975
Hey, you guys enjoying
your coffee?
Yep.
319
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:13,078
Good. Well, ya better
enjoy it while ya can,
320
00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:17,650
because that's the last batch
there's gonna be for a while.
321
00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:22,421
Yep, big embargo by all
the coffee producing
nations against Canada.
322
00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:25,557
Apparently they don't like
our foreign policies
323
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:28,994
on various things. You know?
324
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:32,698
So after today,
no more coffee.
325
00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:35,634
I'm just gonna smile and nod.
326
00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:38,070
Hah! I sucked you in.
327
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:41,140
Sucked me into what,
a conversation?
328
00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:44,076
I kinda think you're missin'
the point of the game.
329
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,778
Not from where
I'm standing.
330
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,246
You're sitting.
331
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,348
Hah! I sucked you in.
332
00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:51,650
All right, look.
333
00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:55,621
The idea of the game is to
make somebody believe
something for a long time.
334
00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:58,524
What you're doing is you're just
verbalizing some random fib,
335
00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:02,294
and if anybody in the room
makes eye contact with ya,
ya scream "Hah!"
336
00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:04,964
Oh, okay, fine.
I can play it your way too.
337
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:08,000
You know, if that's the way
you--oh, my gosh!
338
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:10,002
Robbers just broke
into Corner Gas
339
00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:12,304
and they're getting away
with your cash register.
340
00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:14,373
I'm gonna go call
the police.
341
00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:17,009
She has to be stopped.
342
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:20,045
Every time she yells "Hah!"
she spits a little bit.
343
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:22,681
I know. The whole while
I was talkin' to her,
344
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:24,783
I was dyin' to clean my glasses.
345
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:29,021
Holy hell, what
is that stink?
346
00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:31,623
Smells like you're boiling
fish heads and gasoline.
347
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,559
It's medicinal.
348
00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:35,828
It's got tea tree oil
and liniment.
349
00:16:36,028 --> 00:16:37,830
And gasoline?
350
00:16:37,863 --> 00:16:40,532
Let me try a little
bit of this on you.
351
00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:43,135
I'm not your guinea pig.
Test it on yourself.
352
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:46,638
I'll try a little on my wrist.
It's good for arthritis.
353
00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:50,142
How's it feel?
354
00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:53,178
It's a little warm,
355
00:16:53,278 --> 00:16:55,547
but that means it's working.
356
00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:01,153
Okay, now it's
really working.
357
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:04,656
Now it's really,
really working!
358
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,925
Oh, I-I better
wash this off!
359
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:10,029
Well, what do ya expect?
It's got gasoline in there.
360
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,401
Hey, Emma.
361
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:17,836
Been trying your hillbilly
remedies at home, I see?
362
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,572
This has nothing to do
with my medical paste.
363
00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:23,575
I burned it... making toast.
364
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,911
Right.
365
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:28,147
Get stuffed.
366
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,716
Hey, Karen, I
forgot my wallet.
367
00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:33,585
Can you go in there
and pay for my pop?
368
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:35,587
No. I'm still having
trouble moving.
369
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:39,091
Still? I guess it's the last
time you try liftin' me.
370
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:42,694
Hah!
371
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:48,801
Too late, Doolittle.
372
00:17:48,867 --> 00:17:51,103
I just set up the
ultimate mousetrap.
373
00:17:51,203 --> 00:17:53,172
I got it at a yard sale.
374
00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:54,673
O-kay.
375
00:17:54,706 --> 00:17:57,142
I think the scuba diver
has to face backward.
376
00:17:57,209 --> 00:18:01,113
You use that hi-tech one
and I'll set up one of my own.
377
00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:03,115
Good luck.
378
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:08,287
What's this? Are you guys
runnin' a daycare?
379
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:11,023
Oh, my God! Are you okay?
380
00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:14,093
No. Don't touch me.
It's my back.
381
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:16,095
Oh. Well, I won't
touch you, then.
382
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:19,898
People should not mess around
with someone whose back is out.
That's just stupid.
383
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,433
Oh, you're tellin' me.
384
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:24,670
Anyone who would let an
untrained person try
and fix their back
385
00:18:24,736 --> 00:18:27,372
is just a brainless moron,
a stupid idiotic bonehead.
386
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,775
Okay, you made your point.
387
00:18:29,808 --> 00:18:31,944
You guys, Wanda's really hurt.
388
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,445
Oh, really?
389
00:18:33,479 --> 00:18:36,115
Is there a chiropractor in town?
390
00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:39,151
You know what, I'm gonna
go get the phone book.
391
00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:43,422
I know she's makin' this up.
Wanda can't shut up about how
good her back feels.
392
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:45,657
At least she hasn't
spit on us yet.
393
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:49,661
Let's pretend we believe her
for a while so she'll think
she got us.
394
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,630
It's the only way she'll stop.
395
00:18:51,663 --> 00:18:55,334
Okay, you two go head over there
and make sure no one moves her.
396
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,369
Roger that. That's
good medical advice.
397
00:18:57,436 --> 00:19:01,140
Yeah, we'll, uh, head right over
there, because we believe you.
398
00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:03,742
Hey, you guys, I'm not kidding.
399
00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:08,080
I know. That's probably why
we believe you so much.
400
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,682
DAVIS:
Hey, the box dropped!
I caught him!
401
00:19:13,752 --> 00:19:16,688
I hope he's not hurt.
I hate to see somethin' suffer.
402
00:19:16,755 --> 00:19:19,191
Yeah, that would
be too bad.
403
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,228
Hey, little fella.
404
00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:25,264
You okay?
405
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:27,432
He is kinda cute.
406
00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:29,935
No.
407
00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:33,839
Fine. But only because
he's a cunning adversary
408
00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:35,874
and so close to retirement.
409
00:19:35,974 --> 00:19:38,043
But I want him
run out of town.
410
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:39,811
Deal.
411
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,481
Come on, Squeaky.
412
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:49,221
So I wait here, then?
413
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:51,890
Oh, no, Hank. It appears
as though Wanda's hurt.
414
00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:54,092
Holy smokes. You think
it's her back?
415
00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:56,061
Yes, it's my back.
416
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:58,063
Gosh, I thought
it was cured.
417
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,598
I was lying.
418
00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:01,867
Oh, she was lying.
419
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:03,869
It's killin' me.
420
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:07,306
But just let me lie here
a while. Don't touch me.
421
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,308
No, of course not.
422
00:20:09,341 --> 00:20:11,743
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.
423
00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:14,246
What are you doing?
Oh, here we go.
424
00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:17,449
We're trying to fix Wanda's back
and it was okay all along.
425
00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:21,320
Yeah, ya got us good this time.
No need to spit in our faces.
426
00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:24,423
Oh, you idiots. This wasn't
part of that stupid game.
427
00:20:24,489 --> 00:20:27,125
Her back is really hurt.
428
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,529
Really? Uh-oh.
429
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,130
I should call a doctor.
430
00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:34,266
Yeah, 'cause she's
gonna kill us.
431
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:36,268
No one's gonna kill ya.
432
00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:39,471
I should give ya a beating
out of principle, but I won't,
433
00:20:39,504 --> 00:20:41,273
because my back's
feeling better.
434
00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:43,041
Are you sure you're okay?
435
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:46,278
I don't know what these morons
did, but it fixed my back.
436
00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:49,848
I knew it would. I spent 7 years
in Tibet studying with monks--
437
00:20:49,881 --> 00:20:51,350
Oh, shut up.
438
00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:52,850
All right, then.
439
00:20:53,552 --> 00:20:56,588
So long, soldier.
Take care, little fella.
440
00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:58,790
Hope you find a lotta
cheese out there.
441
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,393
They actually
prefer candy.
442
00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:04,229
So long, Squeaky.
443
00:21:06,231 --> 00:21:09,801
May the wind always be at
your back, and may--
444
00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:13,939
Hooty, no!
445
00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:17,743
Captioning by VerticalSync
www.verticalsync.com
446
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:26,251
♪ I don't know the same things
you don't know ♪
447
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:34,126
♪ I don't know
I just don't know ♪
448
00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:42,868
♪ It's a great big place ♪
449
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:46,638
♪ full of nothin' but space ♪
450
00:21:46,772 --> 00:21:48,640
♪ and it's my happy place ♪
451
00:21:48,674 --> 00:21:52,311
♪ I don't know
Yes you do ♪
452
00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:56,148
♪ You just won't admit it ♪
453
00:21:56,248 --> 00:21:59,985
Want to have a gas online?
Visit us at cornergas.com
454
00:22:01,787 --> 00:22:05,157
♪ I don't know ♪
455
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:08,493
♪ I just don't know ♪♪
34539
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