All language subtitles for Corner Gas (2004) S06E05 All That And A Bag Of Chips (1080p CTV Webrip x265 10bit AC3 5.1 English - JBENT)[TAoE]_track3_[eng]

Hey, guys.
Guess what?

This is where you're
supposed to say "What?"

Got a new email account.
Wanna know why?

Spam, got all spammed up.

Anyway, I picked a pretty clever
password for it. Wanna guess?

Hm?

It's pretty clever.

Is your password
"password"?

You say somethin'? Hm?

♪ You can tell me that
your dog ran away ♪

♪ Then tell me that it
took three days ♪

♪ I've heard every joke,
I've heard every one you say ♪

♪ You think there's
not a lot goin' on ♪

♪ Look closer, Baby,
you're so wrong ♪

♪ And that's why you can
stay so long ♪

♪ Where there's not a lot
goin' on ♪

What's this muffin, again?

Low fat blueberry.

I'll take the banana nut.

Oh, wait. Is that gluten free?

No, it's included
in the price.

Yes.

I'll take that one.

Hello?

Did you get my muffin?
I'm getting it now.

Make sure it's gluten free.
I don't have time to cut keys.

What?

You're breaking up.
I'm going outside.

Gay pride?

It's gluten free.

Yes, I'm sure. I asked her.

Karen,

you walked out without
paying for your muffin.

Oh, sorry. Uh--

Hey, it's a
muffin-stealing cop.

Who said that?

I said it.

What's goin' on?
Karen stole a muffin.

Oh!
I did not.

It's no big deal.

I stopped her
before she got away.

Got away?

I just forgot.

Right. I just forgot
to pay my taxes.

What did ya
I paid them. do that for?

Look, I am paying
for the muffin now.,

It's no big deal.
It could happen to anybody.

Has it?

No.

Just so ya know, I, uh, changed
my password, for no reason.

Not because ya guessed
the, uh, first one,

'cause ya didn't.

Then why'd you change it?

I, uh...

none of your business.

The point is, you'll
never crack this one.

Not that ya cracked
the last one,

which ya didn't.

Got it. I'm in.

What's his new password?
"Not password."

See, the trick is,
is to think like Hank,

get inside his head.

Hello?

Hellooooo?

Wow. It is roomy in there.

Hey, did you guys just see
that tumbleweed roll by?

Who's that for?

Oscar, I don't want to shock
you, but you have a son.

How could I forget? He's always
over here mooching.

Drinkin' our drinks,
foodin' our food.

Foodin'?

Eatin' our eats.
He's a no good freeloader.

There's good freeloaders?

Who's a freeloader?

Hey, free meatloaf.
I'll have a load a that.

Hi, Mother.
Nice to see you.

Is Grandma here?

Pass the gravy.

Freeloader.

Harmless looking, isn't it?

I didn't steal it.

Exactly. That's what
you tell the press.

We don't make
a big deal

because it isn't a big deal.

It's just a muffin.
So now I'm gonna enjoy it.

I can't do it.

Smells like scandal.

Fine. I'll eat it, then.

Sorry. It might be evidence.

I saw Jughead do this once and
I thought it was brilliant.

The next time you come over,

it might be nice if
you brought something.

I will.

I'm bringin' my laundry.
It's really been pilin' up.

Anyway, I gotta go.
I'll be back later.

And just as a hint, I'm in
the mood for somethin' cheesy.

Freeloader.

Hank, got your email.

Thanks for letting me
know you're a moron.

Oh, I forwarded it on,
like you asked.

What?

Oh, got your
moron email, Hank.

I always suspected
you were a moron,

but it's good to know.

It's also good to know that you
think Wanda's a foxy genius.

I think I'd remember sendin' an
email about me bein' a moron.

But who'd send an email about
Wanda bein' a foxy genius?

Well, it seems
pretty obvious.

Oh, I agree, it's
totally obvious.

But just as a timesaver,
could ya tell me?

Oh, look, can you
hide those muffins?

I don't want it
to freak Karen out.

She's a little rattled
from earlier.

You know, the
muffin thing?

What muffin thing?

That's really
nice a ya, Lacey.

But the whole town's
talkin' about it.

And then I said, "We all
pay for muffins, Karen.

Just 'cause you're a cop,
you're not above the law."

Just walked out with
a muffin in her hand,

embarrassing the whole
police department.

So the quicker this
dies, the better.

Hey, Karen. Listen, don't worry
about the whole muffin thing.

Actually, I'd
forgotten about it.

But thanks for
bringin' it up.

Bring up what?

Oh, the muffin she took.

Oh, right. Karen's
a muffin-stealin' cop.

Everybody, watch your pastries.

Geez, Lacey, what
is your problem?

What did I just say
not to do?

You sent phoney emails
from my account.

How could I?

Your password's far too clever
to figure out.

Well, it is this time.
I changed it.

Well, this'll take
about four seconds.

You probably changed
your password to
"change your password."

Hm, okay.

How about "not old password"?

Ah!

Getting a little
tricky there, are ya?

Okay, well, let me think.

Now who's the foxy moron?

Genius.

Lookin' forward to havin'
lasagne for dinner tonight.

I'm not making lasagne.

Macaroni and cheese?

No.

Cheese and macaroni?

'Member I said somethin' cheesy?

Maybe I shoulda rubbed my hands
together when I said that.

I'm not making anything.

We're comin' over
to your place.

This is a terrible idea.

And I want real cooked meal,
nothing microwaved.

Or out of a box.

Or takeout.

Or squeezed from a tube.

So potluck, then?

We'll see you at six.

And here's a hint.

We're in the mood
for something...

cheesy.

Sorry, uh, there's a
new pay first policy.

Really?

Yeah, all the gas stations
are doing it now.

So, this has nothing to
do with the muffin run?

No. But that's a good example
of why it's happening.

Hm.

Well, did you make
Lacey pay first?

No, it's a new policy.
You're our first customer.

Of course I am.

Hey, Karen.

It really is an
unfortunate coincidence.

Well, the closest thing
I've come to cookin' is toast.

Hm. So what are ya gonna
make 'em for dinner?

Uh, I'm not sure.

Either braised duck with
a lemon-herb risotto

or a bowl of
Captain Crunch.

Haven't decided.

Dammit!

Okay, I'll give ya a hint.

Stuff your hint.

I can figure it out
without your stupid hint.

Okay, gimme a hint.

But just the first letter.

All right, here we go. I...

am never gonna give
Wanda my password.

See what I did there?

I... liked that.

U... are kind to say.

B... aware that I will
D... stroy you.

We'll...
Okay that doesn't work.

I hate to say it, Wanda,
but I think Hank has bested ya.

Actually, I didn't mind saying
it, Hank has bested ya.

Hank has bested ya.
It's kinda fun.

I have not been bested.

Just need to think
even more like Hank.

Do you know
Hank's password?

No.

Have you seen a robot around?
We're supposed to fight.

Who do ya think
would win in a fight

between a werewolf
and a Wanda?

Karen, I'm sorry
about what happened,

muffin-wise.

Can you have one conversation
that doesn't have the word
muffin in it?

I am just trying
to apologize.

Look, I made you
an apology muffin.

Here, take it.

I don't care, you don't
have to pay for it.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Karen
didn't pay for that muffin.

This one's a gift.

You don't have to cover for her.
She's got problems.

My only problem is Lacey.

I didn't even want
the muffin.
It was for Davis.

Wow.

You really set her off.

What am I gonna do?

I'm surprised the whole
thing hasn't gone away.

I've done my bit. I kept her
name outta the paper.

What if I arrest you for
not paying a parking ticket

or something, and
then Karen can jump in,

accuse you of
breakin' the law too.

Ticket cancels muffin,
even Steven,
scissors beats rock.

Actually, rock beats scissors.

You wanna solve the problem or
just poke holes in my solutions?

Oh, hi there.

Oh, hi. Don't worry, guys,
it won't be long here.

I thought I'd try
Mom's lasagne recipe.

Yeah, yeah.
Call me when it's ready.

Why's the blender out?

To blend the cheese. D'oy.

I thought you made this
a million times before.

I have. But I never
used the blender.

Have you preheated
the oven?

I haven't even broiled
the noodles yet.

You don't broil the noodles,
you boil the noodles.

I was off by one letter.

You have to fill
a pot with water.

Dinner smells great.

Thanks.

What is it, taco?
No.

Ketchup?

No.

Napkin?

Yes.

You lying sack of--

It wasn't napkin.

I thought you were
offering me a napkin.

Mm-mmm.

Brent, this is delicious.

Thank you.

Well, that's
because I cooked it.

I'm not saying you didn't help.
It was your recipe.

But, man alive, for my
first meal, I knocked this
baby outta the park.

I knocked it outta the park.
I cooked it.

You're a piece a work.

The boy finally has us
over for dinner,

cooks us a delicious meal, and
you want to steal his thunder.

Unbelievable.

Salt? None needed.

You cooked it perfectly.

Hey, Lacey?

Yes, Davis?

You forgot to pay a ticket.

Oh, right.

I forgot to pay
for a ticket.

How embarrassing.

A ticket for
public indecency.

Now we're gettin' somewhere.

No, no, I-I think you
mean a parking ticket.

No.

You flashed Old
Man Caruthers.

You flashed me?

Oh, I wish I could
remember that.

That is just sad.

What are you doing?
Just roll with it.

No, I will not
just roll with it.

Did she flash someone or not?
No!

Everyone in town has an
unpaid parking ticket,
it's no big deal.

Who, here, owes
a parking ticket?

Who, here, flashed
Old Man Caruthers?

Lacey, hand up.

Look it, we agreed
on a parking ticket,

so that everybody would forget
about Karen and the muffin.

What?

That's right.
You stole a muffin.

Way to go, Lacey.

Did you ever flash me?

We had a great time at Brent's
dinner party the other night.

I heard it was
pretty good.

Who told you that? Brent did.

He said the meal he
cooked was delicious.

I cooked it.

Brent said you would say that.

Oh, really?

What else did he say?

Well, that you were kind
of an ungrateful guest.

Yeah, you were
kind of ungrateful.

I, on the other hand,
was a delight.

Don't think you're gonna
come to our place for
a meal anytime soon.

That's an odd thank you for
what some people are calling
the dinner party of the year.

I cooked it!
That's not what I heard.

Hey, cracked my
password yet?

No.

Boy, you are lovin'
this, aren't ya?

Yeah.

I was until
I forgot my password.

Please say you're joking.

I'm joking.

You're not joking.
No.

I'll give ya a 30 second
head start.

Thanks.

30!

Pass the salt.

Pass the pepper.

Pass the salt again.

Is there a problem
with dinner?

No offence.

It's just that this is bland,
with a capital Blaahh.

It's a good thing you said no
offence, or I'd be really angry.

It's just that we had such
a good meal at Brent's.

It's hard to come back to
this same old, same old.

Well, if you had such a
great meal at Brent's,

why don't you take your cranky
old ass over there to eat?

No offence.

Did you get it yet?
No.

It's not easy
thinkin' like you.

Hey, I know.

Since you're thinkin' like me,
I'll think like, um--

Like me?

Nah, I'll think
like me too.

Oh, cool.

That's what it's like in here.

How is this helping?

All right, Blondie,

you and me, right now.

Bring it.

Get him, Wanda!
Go for the eyes!

Lemme guess,
me and a werewolf?

Yeah. You're holdin'
your own.

Compliments of the lady
at the end of the bar.

Hi, Karen.

Send it back.

Here you go.

Oh.

Oh, come on, Karen, come back
to The Ruby. I'll buy ya lunch.

You're only makin' it worse.
Every time she sees you

it reminds her of the time
she stole that muffin.

I didn't steal it!

Don't tell me, tell Lacey.

She's the one who
won't let it die.

I don't need your charity.
I have my dinner right here.

Come on, Davis,
let's go grab a table.

Phil, put whatever Karen
is eating or drinking on my tab.

Huh?

Put it on my tab. Don't let
Karen pay when she leaves.

Hey, what's for supper?

Shouldn't you be
askin' Mom that?

She cooks like crap.

Come on, what's on the menu?
We're starvin'.

We?

Hey, Brent,
I brought wine.

Thanks.

I was just about to go home
and microwave a pizza pocket

when I bumped into Oscar.

Brent can make ya
somethin' better than
a pizza pocket, right?

Yes, because I'm a great cook.

You know what?
I'm, uh, outta coriander.

I'll just go grab some.

Ya hear that?
Fancy. Coriander.

Coriander gives me gas.

I meant cilantro.
I'll be right back.

I think everyone's
staring at me.

No, it's all in your head.

Everyone wants to get a load
of the muffin stealer.

Why don't we get outta here?

Good idea.

Look, everybody. I'm gonna pay
for my drinks now, okay?

Is everyone watching?
How much to I owe ya?

Uh, Lacey paid
for your drinks.

What? Why?

I dunno.

She just said something about
you leaving without paying.

Unbelievable.
I believe it.

Hey, Mom.

Um, listen, uh, I just wanted
to say I was way outta line

with that whole
dinner party thing.

No, you were way outta line.

Well, that is what I said.
But regardless, uh, I'm sorry.

And I brought you
a bottle of wine.

Oh.

Thanks.

Hey, is that tuna casserole?

Would you like some?

Yes, please.
Uh-uh-uh.

Only if you do the dishes
afterwards.

Done.

And only if you have us
over for dinner occasionally.

Can I have it catered?
Yes.

Can you cater it?
Nope.

Geez, you're fussy.

Have you seen your father?

Oh, he said somethin'
about dinner with Fitzy.

I coulda had this at home.

Shut up. Pass the salt.

You guys figure out
the password yet?

No. But we're close.
No, we're not.

We know a lotta words
that aren't the password.

You?
Mind if I try?

Look, if I can't figure it--

And I'm in.

What? What is it?
Your pet's name.

Wiggles? We tried that.

No. Literally the words,
"your pet's name."

I have to admit,

I was not prepared for
that level of stupidity.

How did you crack it?

I just had to think like a Hank

who was trying to
outsmart a Wanda.

Plus I was standing beside
Hank when he typed it in.

I believe you have email.

"Hank and Wanda are morons

and Brent is King Stud
of All Time."

Of all time.

Hello?

Oh, hey, Lacey,

I just wanted to thank you for
buying my drinks last night.

Things between us
got carried away.

They did. But I'm glad
we're okay now.

Anyway, uh, here's the
tab from, uh, the bar.

Whoa. How much did you drink?

I only had two beers and Davis
had a couple of beers.

Oh, and everyone else in
the bar had a couple rounds.

Then that rugby team showed up
and they were thir-sty.

Oh, well, I don't mind
paying. A deal's a deal.

Hey.

Hey, Lacey, um,

speaking of paying,

did you pay for those chips
or did you steal them?

Oh.

Oh, hey, look everybody.

It's the chip-stealing
restaurant owner.

Lacey stole some chips.

Lacey stole some chips.
Lacey stole some chips.

Hey, you forgot your
toonie on the counter.

It's for the chips.

Okay.

Captioning by VerticalSync
www.verticalsync.com

♪ I don't know the same things
you don't know ♪

♪ I don't know
I just don't know ♪

♪ It's a great big place ♪

♪ full of nothin' but space ♪

♪ and it's my happy place ♪

♪ I don't know
Yes you do ♪

♪ You just won't admit it ♪

Want to have a gas online?
Visit us at cornergas.com

♪ I don't know ♪

♪ I just don't know ♪