All language subtitles for Bewitched.S08E24.A.Good.Turn.Never.Goes.Unpunished.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

It's close
but it just misses.

Hi, sweetheart.
Hi.

What time did you get up?

Mmm. Early.

It seemed like 10 minutes
after I went to sleep.

So, I decided
to take another run

on the campaign for the
Benson mattress account.

Honey, you look exhausted.

Is working this hard worth it?

Larry's promised me a healthy
bonus if I land this account,

and we're gonna spend
a carefree week in Bermuda.

Well, that's terrific.

If I land this account.

Something I haven't
done much of lately.

Well, you'll think of
something. I know you will.

Let's see what you got.

[Sam] "You'll stop counting sheep
on a Benson Sleep-Ezy mattress."

"You'll sleep like a king on
a Benson Sleep-Ezy mattress."

"You'll sleep tight
as a drum on a Benson's..."

Well, what's wrong
with these ideas?

They're ordinary.

They need some kind
of jazzing up.

They need...
I don't know what they need.

Well, let's see.

Uh, what if you had, uh,
one sheep instead of five?

[Darrin] Mmm.
Then, uh, let's see.

"One sheep is all

"you'll have time to count

"on a Benson
Sleep-Ezy mattress."

Not bad,
not bad at all.

And in this one you could have a
younger version of the man that's asleep

bounding out of bed
with a prince's crown,

and it could read,

"You'll sleep like a king
and awake like a prince."

Yeah.

Now, this one,
here's the drum, let's see.

Over here you could put a
fiddle with the notes coming out.

"You'll sleep tight as a drum
and awake...

"Fit as a fiddle."

Sam, that's great!

I... I knew I was close,
but you zeroed right in on it.

Hold it.

Sam, you didn't...

Didn't what?

Well, it's very sweet
and generous of you,

but I don't want
that kind of help.

Darrin, there was no
witchcraft involved in my ideas.

Then what do you call it?

I call it using my brain.

I do have one, you know.

I understand.

It's only normal for you.
You want me to succeed and...

Darrin, if you keep this up, we're
only going to succeed in having a fight.

Well, I don't want
to have a fight.

So I better be getting
to the office.

Besides, I have to get these
roughs to the art department,

if I want to make that 1:00
meeting with Larry and Benson.

Dumbo's ego's
a bit bruised, eh?

Mother, this is one time I can
do without your eavesdropping.

Ooh!

Elizabeth Montgomery in...

Bewitched.

I thought you'd left.

I can't bear to stand by

and watch that mortal boob
cast a shroud over my daughter,

who should be wearing
mantles of moonbeams.

Mother, that's pretty corny.

But true.

Well, I don't blame him
for being mad.

He thinks I used witchcraft.

Didn't you?

No!

Well, he should have
used your ideas anyway,

especially since he's
never had one of his own.

He'll land that account
on his own,

with the bonus
that goes with it

for our trip to Bermuda.

If you leave him on his own,

the closest you'll get
to Bermuda will be an onion.

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha.

It's Benson.

Oh!

Come in, come in,
Mr. Benson.

You know Stephens.
Yes.

Ah, yes, Mr. Benson, how are
you? Stephens. Fine, thank you.

Benson, I promised you the best
ideas the business could deliver,

and you're about
to hear them.

[Larry] Go ahead, Darrin.

Well, Mr. Stephens, it's obvious
you don't sleep on a Benson mattress.

If you did,
you wouldn't be yawning.

That's
not a yawn, Mr. Benson,

he was just, uh,
popping his ears.

We are on the 32nd floor,
you know.

I'm sorry, Larry,
but Mr. Benson was right.

No man can be creative unless
he has what nature intended.

Eight hours of shuteye
on a Benson mattress.

Well, I'll try, anyway.

Uh, Mr. Benson.

Here
you are, have a seat.

We have, uh, three concepts.

The first one is designed
for billboards.

Cliche.

Go ahead, Darrin,
show him the next one.

Uh, the, uh, next one
is designed for magazines.

This will be
a full-color double truck.

Too on the nose.

The next one, Darrin.
Quickly.

We plan to use this one
for full-page newspaper ads.

It's too direct,
too, uh, too simple.

They need
a, a, a gimmick.

Interesting.

I was making
a similar comment earlier.

Well, if that's all
you have to offer,

I think I'd better
be moving along.

Just a minute,
Mr. Benson.

Uh, I, uh...

I do have some variations
on these ideas.

Well?
Well?

[Benson] I'm waiting.

But they're not
fully developed,

so I'm not gonna
tell you about them.

Darrin, uh, I'm sure Mr. Benson
would love to hear the other ideas,

and I'd hate
to disappoint him.

I'm sorry, Larry, but I...
I just can't.

Stephens, apparently my
account is keeping you up.

So, um,
I think I'll be going.

Uh, feel free to nod off
at any time.

Mr. Benson, uh, uh, Mr. Benson,
I... I'll call you later. Bye.

Hi, honey. I'm home.

I'm in here,
making us a drink.

Is it a wake
or a celebration?

Oh. If that smile
is any indication,

you must have
had a great day.

Hmm. Great isn't the word,
but it worked out fine.

Do you want to tell me now, or
do you want to take a nap first?

Well, first of all, I didn't
use any of your ideas.

Oh. The way you left the house
this morning, I didn't think you would.

No, sir, not one.

Congratulations, sweetheart,
you got the account on your own.

Wrong. I presented my own
ideas and they bombed out.

Darrin, I told you there was no
witchcraft involved in my ideas.

Just because blondes have more fun
doesn't make them brainless, you know.

No, I know, sweetheart,

But, uh, when you're married
to a witch,

there's always that possible
possibility, and that's enough.

Darrin, you are living proof that a
good deed never goes unpunished.

Who said that? Socrates?
I'm sure you knew him well.

There you go again.

Insinuating about my age.

Just how friendly were you
with Socrates?

Not half as friendly
as I was with Plato.

Now, there was a brain.

Darrin, I'd like
to make a statement.

Yeah. Are you ready
to admit the truth?

Yes.

I'm listening.

Well, the truth is, with you, I'm
darned if I do and I'm darned if I don't.

And I'm darned if I don't find
your entire attitude revolting!

Hmm. Okay, forget it.

Good.

Except for one thing.

I'm willing to forgive you.

That's very generous of you,

but I don't want to be forgiven
for something I didn't do.

However,

if I'm going to be stuck
with the name,

I might as well
enjoy the game.

Samantha,
cut that out.

I am willing to discuss
this whole thing in the flesh.

[Sam] Excuse me. I want
to change these flowers.

I... It's not polite to disappear
when someone's talking to you.

When someone stops
making false accusations

and decides to be
a responsible person,

someone else
will stop disappearing.

No...

Sweetheart, I think you're blowing
this up way out of proportion.

I mean, it's bad enough having
dinner with the invisible lady,

but this
is getting ridiculous.

[Sam] Don't touch me.

All right,
I'll make a deal with you.

Just confess
that you used witchcraft,

and we'll forget
about the whole thing.

Really? Well, I'll
make a deal with you.

What's that?

This.

Sorehead!

Thanks for nothing!

Thank you, Mommy.

[Sam] You're welcome, sweetheart.

[Tabitha] Daddy, how
come Mommy's invisible?

Because...

She doesn't want
to face the truth.

[Sam] Tabitha, tell your father

the truth he is referring to
is not the whole truth.

It's not even a half-truth.

In fact, it's a lie.

Daddy, Mommy said...

Uh, tell your mother that if she
wants to discuss this face-to-face,

I would like
to see her face.

Mommy, Daddy said...

Tell Daddy

when he's ready to apologize,
my face will be available.

Daddy, Mommy said...

[Darrin] Ask your mother if
I could have a cup of coffee.

Tell him to get it himself.

Tell her...

Never mind,
I'll have it at the office.

Goodbye, Tabitha.

Do you want me to kiss Mommy
for you, Daddy?

I don't think so, honey.

Something as valuable as kisses
shouldn't be wasted on thin air.

Hi, Mommy.

Hi, sweetheart.

You and Daddy
had a fight, huh?

I'm afraid we did.

Who won?

Well, it isn't over yet.

But we're both losing.

Everything will be
all right,

I hope.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Mother, please,

If you don't mind,
I'd like my dirty dishes back.

I'm just trying to help,
my darling.

Trouble still brewing
in paradise?

Oh, mother, Darrin's right,
I shouldn't butt in.

And I don't want
to discuss it.

I've made arrangements
for space on Cloud 9,

Family plan.

Why don't you pack everybody
up and come with me, hmm?

Mother,
I am not going anywhere.

I am going to stay right here,

and when Darrin comes home, I'm gonna
tell him that he was right and I was wrong,

and from now on, I'm gonna
mind my own business.

To err is human,
to forgive, divine.

Exactly.

Well, when you're up to here
in err,

and you've turned
into one huge lump of divine,

don't say Mama
didn't warn you.

But if you
change your mind,

the ambrosia hour on
Cloud 9 is from 4:00 to 8:00.

Forget it, Mother!

Oh, you'll drive me crazy.

Larry, what are you doing?

You look half dead.
What's wrong?

I didn't get much sleep
last night.

I'm too tall
for the couch.

You'll get used to it.

I've reached the point where
I sleep better on the couch.

And as for what I'm doing,

I'm going through your
alternate concepts. They're great.

I know.

"You'll sleep like a king and
awake like a prince on a Benson."

"You'll sleep tight as drum
and awake fit as a fiddle."

Darrin,
these are sensational!

Of course they are.

Now, if I wanted
to use those ideas,

I could lock up
the account like that.

If you wanted to?

Don't you want the sun
to rise in the morning?

Don't you want to live
to a ripe old age?

Don't you want me to live
till tomorrow?

Forget it, Larry, we've already
lost Benson. It's too late.

No, we didn't.

I very wisely arranged to
have cocktails with him last night

And convinced him
to give us another shot.

I knew you'd come through,
you son of a gun.

I'm sorry, Larry, but I'm not
gonna show Benson these layouts.

Why not?

Well, it wouldn't be fair.

Darrin,
have you been drinking?

Not even coffee.
Which is another story.

Look, I don't know
what your problem is,

but Benson's gonna
be here any minute,

and I'm going to
show him these layouts.

Oh, no, you're not,
it would be unfair to Benson.

He'd love these ideas.

He'd be powerless not to.

Why, are they laced
with black magic?

You guessed it.

Yes?

Mr. Benson is here?
Al... Already?

Well, send him in.

Larry, I am not gonna
present these ideas.

You're not, but I am.

Everything in this office is the
property of McMann and Tate.

Oh, hi, Mr. Benson,

Uh, we were just mulling
over a few ideas for you.

It looks more like
you were mauling them.

You're not yawning,
Mr. Stephens.

I presume you had
a good night's sleep.

Excellent.

I was talking to Stephens.

Well, that's all right.

He can speak for me.
I'm his property.

Uh, have a seat,
Mr. Benson.

You think I'm gonna
be here that long?

Mr. Benson,
I've got a feeling

that you're going to be
very pleasantly surprised.

There you go.

These are just what
you're after, Mr. Benson.

Darrin and I pitched in and
came up with some real gems.

"One sheep is all
you'll have time to count.

"Awake like a prince.
Fit as a fiddle."

Well, they, uh,
do have something,

but then they haven't
got anything else.

I don't like 'em.

Did you say, "I don't like
them"? Too gimmicky.

Gimmicky?
Yes.

You mean, you have no
compulsion to like them?

Are you sure?

Sure I'm sure.

You mean, deep down, you're not
fighting the desire to say, "I love them"?

I could learn to hate them if it
would make you any happier.

Oh, Mr. Benson,
I couldn't be any happier.

Darrin, have you become
completely unglued?

No, Larry,
you don't understand.

Mr. Benson,
I'm eternally in your debt.

Oh.
Where are you going?

Well, uh, I'm taking
the rest of the day off.

There's something
I've got to do,

And I got to do it now
before it's too late.

Mr. Benson, I can't tell you
how happy you've made me!

What a day!

Cloud 9 has never
been more glorious!

Well, I'm happy
to hear that, Mother.

Samantha, while you're waiting
for Durwood to come home,

why don't you
give yourself a treat?

Come on and spend the rest
of the day with me on Cloud 9.

The change will do you good.

And who knows, you might
get to like it there.

Oh, I don't know, Mother,
I... I'm worried about Darrin.

Oh, you're too protective.

You're his wife,
not his nanny,

although I suspect a nanny
is what he really needs.

Samantha, he's acting
churlishly, and you know it.

I guess so.

Where are the children?

Well, Tabitha's in school.

Adam's in the park
with Esmeralda.

Perfect, then there's nothing
to keep you here.

All right, Mother.
Good.

Maybe the change
of atmosphere would help.

Like it?
Mmm.

It's heavenly.

You know, I'd almost forgotten
what smog-free air was like.

Sam?

Sam, I'm home!

Are you here, Sam?

[Darrin] I'll even
settle for invisible.

Sam, I... I don't know where
you are or if you can hear me,

but, sweetheart, I'm sorry.

Sam, I was wrong
not to believe you.

I know that you didn't
use witchcraft.

All I proved was that
I have pride and integrity,

and that I'm stupid.

Well,
he has something there.

Ta-ta, Mama.

I miss you,
and I wish you'd come home.

Please, honey, forgive me,
wherever you are.

Hi, sweetheart.

Hi.

Am I glad to see you.

Where have you been?

Not far.

Sam, I'm sorry.

I... I should... Should've known
you... You wouldn't lie to me.

That's right,
you should've.

I promise
I'll never doubt you again.

What made you
change your mind?

Well, Larry got a hold of my
roughs with your changes on them

and pitched them
to Benson and, uh...

And?

Well, uh, Benson didn't
like them.

Which proves to you
that I didn't use witchcraft,

and which proves to me that you thought
I was guilty until I was proven innocent.

Isn't that supposed to work
the other way around?

I know I was wrong, but
the only important thing is

that I love you.

I love you.

Thanks a lot.

I'm sorry, honey.

All marriages
have their problems,

But for us to be losing sleep over
some dumb mattress account is ridiculous.

What did you say?

I said all marriages
have problems.

No, no, the... The last part.

Uh, I, um...

It's ridiculous for us to be losing
sleep over some dumb account.

Yeah, why didn't I
think of that before?

What are you
talking about?

Are you sure you don't know?

Don't know what?

Never mind.

I've got it. I've got the
answer and it's perfect.

What's even more,
it's inspired.

More than that,
you inspired it.

I did?
Yes, you did.

Where are you going?

To see Benson.

But I'll be back
before you know it.

I love you, honey.

Don't disappear.

Well, Samantha,
you've done it again.

You are wrong, Mother.

I merely inspired the idea.

Darrin found it, which
is the way it should be.

I suppose what Durwood
doesn't know will never hurt him.

Mother, what difference
does it make?

What's a wife for if she
can't inspire her husband

with occasional
witchly wife-craft?

He loved it.
Benson absolutely loved it.

I knew he would the
minute I heard you say it.

And Sam,
I owe it all to you.

Thank you.

Well,
at least 3-quarters of it.

I'll take half.

You've got it.

Oops.

Ah!

Did Larry like it?

He hated it.

Right up until the time
that Benson loved it.

Uh, Sam...

Did you really know
Plato and Socrates?

Of course not.
I wasn't even born yet.

I always had doubts.

Let's not start that again.

I'm sorry, sweetheart,
but I'm getting punchy.

Mmm. No sleep and all this
excitement is getting to me.

I understand. We'll go
to sleep early. Good.

Oh!
Oh!

Uh, I'll get a towel.
Okay.

I said early, not immediately.

Oh, dear.

Well, a toast...

To Benson
Sleep-Ezy mattresses.

When you're exhausted, a
bed of nails is just as good.