All language subtitles for Bewitched.S08E22.George.Washington.Zapped.Here.2.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Which would be better
to take to school?

The buckle from George Washington's
shoe or the button from his coat?

I think you better leave them both
here. They're much too valuable.

a simple
request. A simple refusal.

That should have
been the end of it.

But Esmeralda
was babysitting.

The sometime maid
and the all-time goof-up.

If Tabitha couldn't have
the real buckle and button,

Esmeralda would zap
them out of the book.

Instead, she got
the whole picture.

Get the picture?

Samantha and
Darrin were kept busy

entertaining their
distinguished visitor,

But the father of his country
was getting restless.

So when
Samantha's back was turned,

he decided to inspect
the state of the neighborhood

and got himself involved in listening
and making political speeches.

By the time Samantha
had caught up with him,

the father of our country was being
arrested for disturbing the peace.

Bail was posted

and George was returned to Darrin's
custody to await a court hearing.

And Esmeralda finally
remembered the incantation

to send George Washington
back where he came from.

Did she succeed?

You bet your boots she did.

Or rather, shoes.

Washington's shoes,
which got left behind.

What's a general
without his shoes, right?

So Esmeralda tried to
return them to the General.

She goofed, and guess
what returned instead?

Right, the general.

Who is the lady?
That's no lady.

That's his wife.

Elizabeth Montgomery in...

Bewitched.

Martha,
may I present our hosts,

Master and Mistress Stephens.

George, forgive me for not
believing your fanciful tale.

I should have known
you could never tell a lie.

How do you do?
[Darrin] How do you do?

Who is the magician
responsible for all this?

Me. But I'm
no magician.

I'm just
a rotten witch.

Oh, Esmeralda, you had
an unfortunate accident.

I'd call it
more of a crackup.

Darrin.

Uh, Mr. President, I assure you,
Esmeralda will find a way to send you back.

We're in no hurry.

I've told Martha so much about
the wonders of the 20th century.

Perhaps Mistress Stephens will
be good enough to show you about.

I would like to have a few private
words with Master Stephens.

Esmeralda, while I'm showing
Mrs. Washington around,

you better put on
your thinking cap

and try to
remember that spell.

Why? The president just said
he's in no hurry.

Esmeralda!

Oh, dear. Darrin, don't yell
at her like that, or she'll...

She did.
Did you see that?

That's nothing. Wait till you
see the miracles in the kitchen.

Oh, now you've done it.
She's gone.

She's our only
link with the past.

Without her,
you can't get back.

That is precisely what I wish
to discuss with your husband.

I'd love to see
your kitchen.

Uh, this way.

Master Stephens,

I can't tell you how happy
I am to be among you.

Please don't misunderstand,
Mr. President.

It's not that we don't
enjoy your company, but--

I realize I am somewhat
of an embarrassment to you,

but I would be considerably more
of an embarrassment to everyone

if I failed to
come to that hearing.

Oh, forget about the hearing,
Mr. President.

I'll forfeit the bail.
I can afford it.

But my reputation cannot.

I did not force the evacuation
of the British from Boston

by running from battle.

But this is not 1776.

A coward is a coward
in any age.

No, Master Stephens.

If I have violated some rule
concerning free speech or assembly,

I will defend myself.

However, I will rely upon your
advice as to my deportment in court.

What is this?

Oh, well, uh,
that's a dishwasher.

You see, you, uh, put
the dirty dishes in here,

and then
you turn it on.

And then later it
stops by itself,

and you, uh,
take out the clean dishes.

Oh, you have
two dishwashers?

No, no, uh,
that's a washer-dryer.

It does the same
thing with clothes

as the dishwasher
does with dishes.

A great step forward
for mankind, I suppose.

Well, for womankind, really.

You don't approve, do you?

Oh, I don't know. I remember,
as a young wife, my great pride

in the snowy
whiteness of my linens.

Oh, nowadays,
snowy-white comes in a box.

And the sweet smell
of sun-dried sheets?

Eventually, somebody will figure
out a way to package that, too.

Oh, I hope not.

Well, have you been
properly amazed, Martha?

Mr. President,
I have been amazed.

Mrs. Washington
has convinced me

that we haven't
learned much in 200 years.

Oh, now, now, Mrs. Stephens,
George will think I've been rude.

I would never
think that, my dear.

Well, shall we retire? This time
change has made me weary.

Are we staying? Till after
the hearing tomorrow.

What hearing?

I'll tell you in bed.

At least the bed
has not gone out of fashion.

Oh, no.
It's more popular than ever.

The guest room is the second
door at the top of the stairs.

We'll find our way.
Thank you. Good night.

Good night.
Good night.

You know something, Sam?
That's a great man.

And the privilege
of knowing him

makes me almost glad
that Esmeralda goofed.

Oh, well, it's sweet of
you to look at it that way.

Now, get that goof-up back,
because right after the hearing,

I want those two
gently zapped out of here.

Oh, Sam, George and Martha
are already down for breakfast.

I know. I know.

Any luck
getting Esmeralda?

I've been trying.

Oh, well, all right,
I'll try some more.

Aries, Gemini, and Taurus,
blend your voices into chorus.

Sing out
the name of Esmeralda.

Libra, Scorpio, and Pisces, these
are the times that are known as crises.

[Esmeralda] Okay, okay.

But if you holler at me,
I'll just pop out again.

He's not going
to holler at you.

Where have you been?
He's hollering.

No, he isn't hollering.

He's just been
worried about you.

Yeah?

Well, I've been
on Pluto, brooding.

Oh, well,
if you'd brooded here,

we wouldn't have been
so worried about you.

I can't be trusted
near decent people.

Yeah, well, just forget that
and try and remember the spell.

I have remembered it.
So, shall I send them back?

No.

Do you mean to tell me I've
done all that brooding for nothing?

Uh, no. No, we want
you to send them back,

but not until
after the hearing.

Oh. Well, then, why don't
you get out of my kitchen?

Breakfast will be ready in
a few minutes. Thank you.

Um, Mr. President,
Mrs. Washington,

How did you folks
sleep last night?

Not too well. Martha was
kept awake by the big birds.

Uh, the big what?

Birds. The make the most
monstrous roar as they fly by.

It's frightening.

We're sorry if
you were disturbed.

The neighborhood's
on their flight pattern.

What species
are they?

They're called
turbo jet us.

They're very common
and completely harmless.

I'll get it.

Good morning.
Mr. President.

Good morning.
Why, thank you.

Good morning, Sam. Oh,
Larry, what are you doing here?

Why, I came to drive Darrin
to work. He knows how to drive.

Larry, is there
some special reason

why you wanted me to
drive into the office with you?

Yes. My seat belt's broken, and
I want you to hold me in the car.

Plus which, we have
an important meeting

with the Whirlaway people
this morning

and I thought we could go
over some ideas en route.

Well, why
don't you go ahead?

He'll be there in a little bit.
We were just having breakfast.

Thanks, Sam. I could
use a cup of coffee.

But...

Uh, Larry,

I'd like you to meet some
relatives of mine from out of town.

This is Martha and George.

This is Larry Tate, a
business associate of Darrin's.

Oh. How do you do?

What sort of work
do you gentlemen do?

We're in advertising.
Oh, what is advertising?

They're
really out of this world.

Indeed, we are.

Uh, Larry, um, we have that 10:30
meeting with the Whirlaway people.

Oh, sure, sure. Uh,
nice meeting you folks.

Never mind the coffee,
Sam. Bye.

I suppose you're wondering
how I'm going to explain that.

Frankly, yes.

So am I.
I mean...

Well, you see, the old guy
is a retired history professor.

His specialty was
George Washington.

I'm afraid he finally,
uh, slipped a cog.

No kidding.

Yeah. He insists on using
the name George Washington.

Um, wears all those
old clothes.

And the wife?

Well, she does it to
humor him. It's complicated.

I'll fill you in at the office.
We don't want to be late.

I can't help
but admire the old boy.

I say, if you have to go out of
your mind, go out in a big way.

Wait a minute.
I have a sensational idea.

Well, tell me about it
on the way to the office.

It's so obvious I'm
surprised you didn't see it.

In there is the answer.
It's brilliant.

How about Washington
Whirlaway washing machines?

A machine that bears the name
of the father of our country.

A name that stands for honesty
and truth. We peg the concept on that.

No, no, no. Mr. Washington
wouldn't hear of it.

Just let me ask him.
No...

Now, Mr. President, we would
like to ask your permission

to use your name
for an advertising concept

for Whirlaway
washing machines.

We have an idea
to change the name

to Washington Whirlaway
washing machines.

I don't understand.

You wish to use my name
for a commercial venture?

Terrific.
Just the right quality.

Honesty, integrity.

Don't listen to him, sir.

This machine
would bear my name?

In letters that big. Oh,
isn't that nice, George?

Larry, it lacks dignity.

What could be more
dignified

than a guy playing
the father of our country?

You can't get more
dignified than that.

Listen to me, General.

You play along with us, and
there's a nice royalty in it for you.

Royalty?

After the revolution, they wanted
to crown me King of America.

I refused.
I do not believe in royalty.

Well, then, we'll
discuss other financial arrangements.

Does, uh,
this Abraham Lincoln

have a washing machine
named after him?

Not that I know of.
Oh, that's too bad.

Just what is expected of me?

To stay home and rest for
the hearing this afternoon.

This isn't going to take
a lot out of him, Sam.

We'll just prepare
a little TV copy

for him to read to the Whirlaway
people, then we'll send him on home.

Larry, I won't
let him do it.

Mr. Stephens,
you may be my host,

but if Mr. Tate
wishes to honor me

by naming
a washing machine after me,

I should return the compliment
with a visit.

Shall we go? After
you, Mr. President.

Well, don't just stand
there. Go after them.

And don't let the father of
our country out of your sight.

Right.

Oh, Mr. Jamieson,
good to see you again.

Tate.
You know Darrin Stephens?

Yes, Mr. Jamieson.
Stephens.

And this is the man who's
going to present our idea.

George Washington,
President of the United States,

I'd like you to meet
Hector Jamieson,

President of
Whirlaway products.

Jamieson. Jamieson.

There was a Corporal
Jamieson

who was in my regiment at
the Battle of Long Island.

He was my
grandfather's grandfather.

He was also a coward. He was
court-martialed and drummed out of service.

How dare you! Oh, he was
only joking, Mr. Jamieson.

It was no joking matter.
He was standing guard duty.

Uh, let's drop the matter
for now, huh, Mr. President?

Uh, Mr. Jamieson, please
play along. He's a bit eccentric.

A bit eccentric? What difference
does it make? Just look at him.

He could be the
reincarnation of Washington.

Now, please, just sit down and
let us show you what we have.

Shoot.
Shoot?

If we are to duel,
I would prefer swords.

He means,
read it.

"Ladies,
this is honest George

"asking you to let a Washington
Whirlaway washing machine

"whirl away the dirt
while you wile away the time

"and your clothes
will be cleaner than clean

"and whiter than white."

How could anything be cleaner
than clean or whiter than white?

Oh, it's just a way
of saying it, Mr. President.

It doesn't make sense.

So few things do.
It's a sign of the times.

"Then use the Whirlaway
washer, America's finest..."

Is it really? Would I lie
to you, Mr. President?

I don't know you well enough
to make that judgment.

Mr. Jamieson, why is this
America's finest washing machine?

Is this some
kind of a put-on?

Mr. President, please,
just read what is written.

Not another word
until you answer my question.

After all,
if my name is to be used,

I will not have it
tarnished by falsehood.

Look, it's a darn good washer.
Now, read it.

Please.

"Superior washing machine."
"Ultra mashing machine."

"Standard washing machine."

"Whirlaway washing machine."

Each one looks
very much like the others.

Each one is very
much like the others.

Then why do you give them
different names?

It's called merchandising,
Mr. President.

You see, Whirlaway
builds them,

and then the stores put
their own labels on them.

In that case,
Whirlaway washing machine

is no better or worse
than the others.

Correct.

Washington:
Then in good conscience,

I cannot say that Whirlaway washing
machine is better than the others.

I've had just
about enough of this.

And so have I, sir.

Yesterday I was arrested
for defending

the Constitution of
the United States.

Today, I am asked in the name
of honesty to utter falsehoods.

I will not lend my name
to this deception.

Get this nut out of here.

Yeah, get this nut
out of here.

With pleasure, gentlemen.

Mr. President.

Here.

This might not
make you feel better,

but at least
you'll enjoy feeling rotten.

So we lost the account,

but somehow that
doesn't seem to bother me.

Seeing George Washington
blast Mr. Jamieson was worth it.

I'm glad he did it, and I'm
glad we lost the account.

George, you promised to rest.
No, no, Martha.

I cannot rest until I apologize
to my host for my outburst.

No apologies necessary,
Mr. President.

This afternoon
when I go to court,

I promise to cause as
little trouble as possible.

I'm sure you will, sir.
Well, we better get going.

I'm eager to do battle.

I was trying to be reasonable
with him, your honor,

when he pulled a sword on me.

Your honor,
may I question the witness?

If you're going to act as this
gentleman's attorney, you may.

Officer Crandal,
did you examine the sword?

I don't have to examine a sword
to know it's a deadly weapon.

Your honor, I give you
the people's exhibit "A."

Now, examine the edge.

That's not a fighting sword.
That's a ceremonial sword.

It couldn't cut butter.

Your honor, can I see that?

Now, if he had hit me
on the head with this,

the ceremony
could have been my funeral.

Your honor,

all I can say is, I was protecting
myself from unlawful arrest.

The citizens of this country
are endowed by their creator

with certain
unalienable rights.

Among these are life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness.

And the right of free speech.

[Crandal] There he goes
again with all that radical talk.

Your honor,
I was only doing my duty.

And he was conducting a rally
without a permit.

Uh, what, officer Crandal, in
your mind, constitutes a rally?

Addressing people
constitutes a rally.

How many?
One? Two? 100?

There couldn't have been more than a
dozen people standing around, chatting.

Well, he was doing all the
chatting. They were just listening.

Well, maybe if you hadn't come by and
broken it up, they might have chatted back.

As a matter of fact, it was their
chatting that started him chatting.

Mister, uh...
What shall I call you?

You may call me
President Washington, sir.

And, uh, where do you
come from, president?

Virginia, sir.

Oh, yes, yes, where the
father of our country was born.

I am the father
of your country, sir.

And, uh, how did you get
into this century, president?

Providence brought
me here, your honor.

There, I think I
answered that question without lying.

And how do you plead?

Uh, may I answer that,
your honor?

Certainly.
Not guilty.

Now, Mrs. Stephens, we can't
have our citizens going around

attacking officers
of the law with swords.

Ceremonial.

Ceremonial. Especially while
masquerading as George Washington,

which I find
offensive in itself.

I am not an imposter, sir.

Um, your honor, I don't
think it makes any difference

whether he's George
Washington or not.

What's important is that this
gentlemen has served to remind us

of the things that George
Washington stands for.

Oh, I'll be the first
to admit that his behavior,

to some,
might seem a bit eccentric.

But what a noble
eccentricity, sir.

I mean, would you rather have
eccentrics who think they are, uh,

Benedict Arnold or
John Wilkes Booth?

Your point is well taken,
Mrs. Stephens.

The president was
merely defending

the Constitution
of the United States,

which is something
he holds very dear.

And he was acting
under his rights

of peaceful assembly
and free speech.

I rest my case.

Mrs. Stephens, it's,
uh, lamentable, but true.

But there are times when in the
interests of maintaining law and order

we tend to
overlook those rights

given to our citizens by the
constitution and the bill of rights.

You, uh, have quite
effectively reminded me

that this is
one of those times.

Case dismissed.

Thank you, your honor.

Now, may I
have my sword back?

Certainly, if you'll
sign this receipt.

Uh, may I, uh, ask you a
question, sir? You may, sir.

Will you continue
to be George Washington?

No man should
live beyond his time.

Therefore, although I shall
continue to be George Washington,

for I can be no other, I will
not be that untimely gentleman

in your gracious presence.

Well, what did he say?

He's leaving town.

Uh, Mrs. Stephens,

If he isn't George
Washington, he ought to be.

Right on.

We want you to know,
Mr. Stephens,

that although
we enjoyed our visit,

We do feel that we've rather
overstayed our welcome.

Not at all, sir. It was
a pleasure having you.

Oh, that's very kind of you, but
George and I must be getting back now.

Esmeralda.

Now?

Now.
Okay.

Jive this of weary
to begin

I alive look George on come.

What is she doing?

She's reversing time
by reversing the spell.

Can't she say it to
herself? It sounds ridiculous.

Uh, uh, Esmeralda,
say it to yourself.

Keep
going, Esmeralda.

Have a nice trip.

It worked, Esmeralda.

It worked.
They're gone.

Gone? Without even
a "fare thee well"?

They waved.

Oh, in that case.

I'll get it.

Judge Armstrong.
I must see him at once.

Mr. President.

Uh, he's not here.

We don't have
a forwarding address.

I'll put a tracer on him.
What's wrong?

Look, look, look!
Look at this.

It's a copy of a letter from
Washington to James Madison.

The signatures
are identical.

Well, the court clerk is a collector
of Washington memorabilia.

He claims that this signature
is authentic. That's impossible.

Well, now,
that's what I thought.

So we took the signature to Judge
Cramer, who's also a collector.

He offered me $500
for the autograph.

He insists it's authentic.

You don't say.

It can't be. Can it?

Well, like you said,

if he isn't George
Washington, he ought to be.