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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,339 Just toast, honey. 2 00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:06,924 Things are really piling up at the office. 3 00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:09,968 We have a chance of closing on the Monticello Carpet account. 4 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,682 Why, Durwood, I didn't know you cared. 5 00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:17,142 - Mother. - Endora, 6 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,603 would you kindly give us some warning when you're coming by? 7 00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:22,523 Sending something ahead of you that's not so frightening. 8 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,566 Like a dragon. 9 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:25,359 Darrin. 10 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,486 I'll send a fire-breathing one, 11 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,072 and we'll find out how inflammable you are. 12 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,573 Mother. 13 00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:34,076 Endora, I am officially informing you 14 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,036 that you are trespassing here. 15 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:37,621 Darrin! 16 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,957 I think I'm in a rut. 17 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,542 Have you told him? 18 00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:43,793 Of course not. 19 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:45,837 Because I'm not going. 20 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,840 Uh, not going where? 21 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,760 My cousin Panda's getting married. 22 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:54,638 It would be a disgrace if Samantha missed the wedding. 23 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,348 They were very close as children. 24 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,268 Well, maybe we could make it. 25 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,352 When is it? 26 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,896 - Next weekend. - In Hong Kong. 27 00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:05,566 It's out of the question. 28 00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:09,027 Endora. 29 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,530 Mother, that's not funny. 30 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,031 He treats you like a prisoner, 31 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,283 you might as well look like one. 32 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:18,036 I am not a prisoner in this house. 33 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,581 Except when you show up. 34 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:21,873 [Darrin] The point is, Endora, 35 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,625 I would want Sam to go to the wedding, 36 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,209 but we just got back from Europe 37 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,753 and work is piling up at the office, 38 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,589 and I just cannot get away at this time. 39 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,715 I will send my apologies to Panda. 40 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,384 I'm sure she'll understand. 41 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,386 You actually mean you're going to 42 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,221 let Durwood's silly job keep you from... 43 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,181 You bet your sweet broomstick. 44 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:41,810 Oh, how quaint. 45 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:43,979 Mother, would you mind springing me? 46 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,981 Of course not, dear. 47 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,357 Thanks a lot. 48 00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,735 I'll see you at the wedding, my darling. 49 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,740 What did she mean by that? 50 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:58,660 I, uh... I think I'd rather not think about it. 51 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:59,763 Powers of day, powers of flight. 52 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:04,142 Bring Alonzo here, into my sight! 53 00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:13,819 Endora, baby, this is a pleasant surprise. 54 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:18,657 Alonzo, you look perfectly disreputable. 55 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:22,828 Well, thank you. I'm just doing my thing. 56 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,997 Beautiful trip, but what am I doing here? 57 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:31,837 Have I ever told you about Samantha's mortal marriage? 58 00:03:31,877 --> 00:03:34,297 Not more than a thousand times. 59 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:38,427 The fact is, Durwood's job is preventing Samantha 60 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,387 from attending Panda's wedding. 61 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,848 Panda's getting married? 62 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,559 Who's the unlucky dude? 63 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,686 Never mind the critique. 64 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:53,692 Your job will be to un-job Durwood, so to speak. 65 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:57,863 It's people like you who give witches a bad rep. 66 00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,030 Thank you. 67 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,408 I dig cutting up as much as the next cat, 68 00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,452 but I think I dig Samantha more, 69 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,746 so find yourself another boy. 70 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,039 Perhaps... 71 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:11,084 Perhaps I could persuade you? 72 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,419 Never. 73 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:16,047 I happen to be heavy in integrity. 74 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,675 But I happen to know people in high places. 75 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,719 And one word from me 76 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,388 and you could find yourself roasting 77 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,516 like a marshmallow in an active volcano. 78 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,435 So much for my integrity. 79 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:32,564 All right, where do I find this Durwood? 80 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,943 If Cushman buys these concepts for his carpets, 81 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:40,322 we have a good chance of landing all the other Monticello products. 82 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:41,573 The fabrics, the plastics, 83 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,075 the wall paneling, everything. 84 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:47,621 Larry, do you know when you talk about money, your eyes light up? 85 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,331 Of course. I'm a greedy person. 86 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:51,916 - Mr. Tate - Yes, Betty? 87 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,418 Excuse me for interrupting, 88 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,171 but there's a man out in reception room, 89 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:59,549 and I can't seem to get rid of him. He's pretty weird. 90 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:01,927 Oh? Well, relax, Betty. 91 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,644 Well? 92 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:13,021 Very well, and you? 93 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:16,107 What is the idea of bringing this bike into the office? 94 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,735 The idea is, I looked around out front. 95 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,363 I'm not sure this is a safe neighborhood. 96 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,698 Well, this office is not a garage, so will you... 97 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,408 Which one of you is McMann? 98 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,451 Neither. 99 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,621 I'm Mr. Tate. What is it you want? 100 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,081 I wanna see Mr. McMann. 101 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,500 His name comes first. He's gotta be the honcho here. 102 00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:36,837 I happen to be the brightest copywriter 103 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:40,589 to ever set foot on Madison Avenue. 104 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,551 Well, Mr. McMann is chairman of the board. 105 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,302 Mr. Tate is the president. 106 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:45,971 And as president, I'd advise you 107 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:49,182 to hop back on your cycle and buzz off. 108 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:58,900 Tail of newt and eye of bat 109 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:01,820 This is where the spell is at 110 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:05,615 Even though it's what he'd hate 111 00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:09,995 Now all I say appeals to Tate 112 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,000 Well, I'm gonna buzz off now, 113 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,460 but I thought a man in your position 114 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:18,795 was interested in ideas. 115 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:20,005 We're perfectly capable 116 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,382 of coming up with our own ideas. 117 00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:24,009 I was talking to Mr. Tate. 118 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,720 And I liked what you were saying. 119 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,513 You know, if you have some ideas, 120 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,849 of course I want to hear them. 121 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,476 But how did you happen to pick McMann & Tate? 122 00:06:33,517 --> 00:06:37,522 Because I've seen your ads, Daddy. 123 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,440 You need me. 124 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,028 That is pretty insulting. 125 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,112 [Larry] Darrin. 126 00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:47,532 Let's not be rude to our guest. 127 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,535 Why don't we step into our office, Mr... 128 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:54,039 My name's Alonzo. 129 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,540 Alonzo. 130 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:02,255 Now, don't you let anybody steal my chopper. 131 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,257 Right on! 132 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:06,843 Come in, sit down. 133 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,303 Put it right there. 134 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:10,555 Alonzo, 135 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,057 I would like to point out to you 136 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:15,143 that McMann & Tate is a very successful advertising agency. 137 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,896 And we don't need people wandering in off the street 138 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,397 passing out advice. 139 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,483 Who is he? 140 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:27,864 He's one of our top account executives, Darrin Stephens. 141 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:30,909 Oh, man, what a bad scene. 142 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,410 What this agency needs 143 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:36,581 is to radically modify its advertising concepts. 144 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:40,794 What you need is words with inner meaning, words that sing 145 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:45,298 and are in tune with universal vibrations. 146 00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,717 Universal vibrations? 147 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,762 Words that sing. Now, that grabs me. 148 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:55,225 Mr. Tate, I'm a philosopher and a poet. 149 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:57,227 Words are my bag. 150 00:07:57,268 --> 00:08:00,522 ♪ I can tune your advertising copy ♪ 151 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:04,067 ♪ To the rhythm that beats through everybody ♪ 152 00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:07,696 ♪ Like a cosmic drum ♪ 153 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,198 Can you dig it? 154 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,700 I can, I can. 155 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,660 Well, I can't. 156 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:16,079 I mean this in the nicest way possible, 157 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,164 but my approach is only for people 158 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:21,126 with special sensitivities. You know what I mean? 159 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,169 One of your shortcomings, Darrin. 160 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,796 Oh, fine. 161 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,132 You two can enjoy your sensitivity class. 162 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,925 I've got better things to do. 163 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,428 Alonzo, are you familiar with Monticello Carpets? 164 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,638 Now, wait a minute, Larry. 165 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,974 We're all set with our ideas for Monticello. 166 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,225 It can't hurt to hear 167 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,477 what this young man has to offer. 168 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,479 As you pointed out, Darrin, 169 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:42,939 he just came in off the street 170 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:45,900 and that's exactly who we're trying to reach. 171 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,402 The man in the street. 172 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,945 Mr. Tate, 173 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:52,407 I think you dig my philosophy. 174 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:53,992 I do, I do. 175 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:58,163 Well, let's see what I can come up with for Monticello. 176 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,833 Uh, Larry, 177 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,794 don't tell me you're going to fall for this rubbish. 178 00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:06,254 Darrin, it's not my fault 179 00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:09,381 if you don't dig the universal vibrations. 180 00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:12,927 [Alonzo chanting] Om. 181 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,431 Beautiful. 182 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,770 Om. 183 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,105 He's got it. 184 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,232 I hope it's not contagious. 185 00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:28,443 What are you doing? 186 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:32,155 ♪ "Om" is the sound ♪ 187 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:35,533 ♪ of the vibrations and motions ♪ 188 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:41,039 ♪ of the energy of nature and the universe ♪ 189 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,458 It helps me meditate. 190 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,210 On Monticello Carpets? 191 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,796 Om. 192 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,427 I've got it! 193 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:56,846 He's got it! 194 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,399 Well, let's see it, Alonzo, let's see it. 195 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,820 Now, I don't guarantee you're gonna like it, 196 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,239 but all I can say is this is in tune 197 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,992 with the human pulsations of all mankind 198 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:22,205 and you're gonna feel it throughout your whole being. 199 00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:30,130 Flurpity Flurp! 200 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,465 Flurpity Flurp? 201 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:34,968 I didn't say Flurpity Flurp. 202 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:39,472 I said Flurpity Flurp! 203 00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,517 Okay, Larry, now what do you think of your... 204 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,519 Bravo, bravo! 205 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:46,980 I don't get it. 206 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:48,481 Why not? It's obvious. 207 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:51,234 I'm afraid the simplicity of it is too much for him, 208 00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:53,403 but that's all right, I'll explain. 209 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:57,657 ♪ Flurpity Flurp is the sound of bare feet ♪ 210 00:10:57,699 --> 00:11:00,076 ♪ On a Monticello carpet ♪ 211 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,203 Of course, of course. 212 00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:05,915 It makes you think of the silky softness 213 00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:09,544 of a priceless Comanche prayer rug. 214 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,129 It's like a poem. 215 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,881 Don't stop now, Alonzo. 216 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,008 See what else you can come up with. 217 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,469 Right on. 218 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:22,307 Excuse me, I'm gonna plug in to the universal energy. 219 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,642 - Larry... - Shh! 220 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,024 Om. 221 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,154 Om. 222 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:39,157 Larry, just because a guy has a lot of hair 223 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,909 doesn't mean he's a genius. 224 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:43,620 And because he stands on his head and says "Om" 225 00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:45,663 doesn't mean he's a philosopher. 226 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:49,042 Believe me, there are deeper thoughts in fortune cookies. 227 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,628 Darrin, I know you mean well, 228 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,171 and I realize that you feel 229 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,964 your position at McMann & Tate 230 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:57,467 is being threatened by a talented newcomer. 231 00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:58,676 But there is no... 232 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,095 I'm beginning to think there is more to this newcomer 233 00:12:01,136 --> 00:12:02,804 than meets the eye. 234 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,933 Excuse me, I've gotta make a call. 235 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:08,770 - [Samantha] Hello? - Sam, your mother, the Wicked Witch of the West, 236 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,855 - has struck again. - What happened? 237 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:14,275 She sent some freak named Alonzo in here with a lot of weird ideas, 238 00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:16,819 and apparently put a spell on Larry to love them all. 239 00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:20,907 One thing you can say about my mother, she's a mother-in-law. 240 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:24,369 The one thing I can say about your mother is censorable. 241 00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,120 I'll get in touch with her right away. 242 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,748 In the meantime, I'll try and fight off this weirdo. 243 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:30,750 Okay. Bye-bye. 244 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,502 Goodbye. 245 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:40,134 Hummingbird and dragonfly wings 246 00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,803 Palm and Borrego Springs 247 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,554 Timbuktu and Irish stew 248 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,266 Wherever you are, let's hear from you 249 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,104 Mother! 250 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:54,274 Mom. 251 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:58,444 Om. 252 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,116 Mr. Tate, I've got it. 253 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,243 The absolute, ultimate, 254 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,453 the jewel in the bud of the lotus. 255 00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:09,580 Words that sing? 256 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,040 Not this time. 257 00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:12,917 Now, you're gonna get it right away, Mr. Tate, 258 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:16,629 but Mr. Stephens may need a few words of preparation. 259 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:17,588 That's for sure. 260 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:21,384 Now, white is the symbol of purity, 261 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:25,888 of flawlessness, of transcendental beauty, 262 00:13:25,929 --> 00:13:29,767 and I've tried to tie this all in with Monticello Carpets. 263 00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,148 A blank page? 264 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,275 That's where I start my ideas. 265 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,110 And then clutter them up? 266 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,279 What do you think, Mr. Tate? 267 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,947 Far out. 268 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,365 And how is anybody going to 269 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:45,950 identify this with the product? 270 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,369 Well, the card isn't really blank. 271 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,752 "Monticello Carpets." 272 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,046 Alonzo, we're going to present these ideas 273 00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,423 at the meeting this afternoon. 274 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,967 I'd better be there with our backup ideas, 275 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,719 just in case Mr. Cushman has an attack 276 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,346 of his usual good judgment. 277 00:14:06,386 --> 00:14:09,515 He's very down, Mr. Tate. 278 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,184 Alonzo's right. 279 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,686 Maybe we'd better handle this ourselves. 280 00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:16,606 Darrin, have the Art Department put a mat around this. 281 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:19,400 Uh, Larry, I am not the office boy. 282 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:20,818 Not yet. 283 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,489 Larry, the ideas that this weirdo is coming up with are nothing. 284 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,742 A typical reactionary comment. 285 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:28,826 If you know so much, 286 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,828 maybe you should find yourself 287 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,163 a nice little empty office 288 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,998 and start your own agency. 289 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,834 I don't want to stand in your way. 290 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:40,171 Larry, there's something I wish I could tell you, 291 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:43,591 'cause I know it would change your view, but I can't. 292 00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,176 What is it? 293 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,677 I just told you. 294 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,596 Told me what? 295 00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:49,972 That I can't tell you. 296 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,060 Darrin, why don't you leave us alone? 297 00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:56,396 Alonzo and I have work to do. 298 00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,482 Right. 299 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:02,110 I think I'll go and have a drink of lunch. 300 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,372 - Hi. - Sam. 301 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,707 Larry told me I'd find you here. 302 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,586 What's more important is, did you find your mother? 303 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:25,258 Well, she's sort of got her phone off the hook. 304 00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,385 Naturally, you didn't get anyplace with Larry. 305 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,346 Nowhere. And I have a good mind to quit. 306 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:31,931 Uh-uh, Darrin, don't do that. 307 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:35,726 I have a feeling that's exactly what mother is up to. 308 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:36,811 What do you mean? 309 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,729 Well, if you're out of a job, 310 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:43,025 she figures that we can go to Panda's wedding next weekend. 311 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,152 You're kidding. 312 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,945 If I know my mother... 313 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:49,574 Sam, what amazes me is that a wonderful person like you 314 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,201 could have such a monster for a mother. 315 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:58,166 I'll, uh, pretend that was a compliment. 316 00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,751 Exactly how did you leave things with Larry? 317 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:03,713 He practically dared me to open my own agency. 318 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,299 Why don't you? 319 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:08,259 No, that wouldn't be fair. 320 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,428 I mean, after all, he is under a spell. 321 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:14,015 He's under a spell to like Alonzo's ideas, 322 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:16,350 not to invite you to quit. 323 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:21,397 Yeah. And one low blow deserves another. 324 00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:23,524 What's more, there is a vacant office 325 00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:26,235 right across the hall from McMann & Tate. 326 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:28,279 Terrific. 327 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:32,366 Could you, uh, use a little witchly help? 328 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:33,784 You know, Sam, 329 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,078 I think maybe this is an occasion 330 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,748 where we could bend the rules a bit. 331 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,215 Now, uh, for your sign. 332 00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,217 Something distinguished, but not too small. 333 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,344 - Mm. - Uh... Mm. 334 00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:56,140 Incidentally, that's 24-karat gold. 335 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,351 But if you prefer platinum, I think... 336 00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,811 Ah-ah-ah. Don't tamper with perfection. 337 00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:04,815 Hi, Larry. 338 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,484 Oh, hello, Sam. Darrin. 339 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,861 What are you doing here? 340 00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:11,571 I'm helping Darrin decorate. 341 00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,075 [Larry] What's that? 342 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,493 That's a sign, Larry. 343 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,494 I know it's a sign. 344 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,163 But what's it doing there? 345 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,624 Well, Larry you're the one who suggested I open my own office. 346 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:24,585 I didn't say for you to open it right across the hall. 347 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:27,213 I thought I might get some of your, uh, overflow. 348 00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:29,507 Well, that's very unethical. 349 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,008 How did you get it done so fast? 350 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,344 Darrin's a fast worker. 351 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,346 I ought to know. 352 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,681 I don't think you'll be able to 353 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,767 transact much business in an empty office. 354 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:53,739 Impossible. 355 00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:02,540 How long have you been planning this? 356 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,959 Well, we've only been working on it 20 minutes. 357 00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,085 Nice, isn't it? 358 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,462 Mr. Cushman. 359 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,755 Oh, hello, Mr. Cushman. 360 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:10,548 Hello, Stephens. 361 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,715 Uh, Mr. Cushman, I... 362 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,426 May I present my wife, Samantha? 363 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,719 How do you do, Mr. Cushman? 364 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,262 It's a pleasure to meet you. 365 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,431 - Uh, Mr. Cushman... - I've always admired 366 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,057 your husband's taste in advertising, 367 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,227 and now I see he shows the same good taste in choosing a wife. 368 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,688 Well, that's very flattering. 369 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:28,107 But don't give him too much credit. 370 00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:29,734 I picked him. 371 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,111 - Well, shall we... - Just a minute. 372 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,904 Is that something new? 373 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,071 Oh, yes. 374 00:18:35,071 --> 00:18:36,449 In fact, I have some ideas 375 00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,326 you might be interested in after your meeting. 376 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,202 - Shall we go in? - Fine. 377 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,621 Hope to see you again, Mrs. Stevens. 378 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:44,582 Just flow over any time. 379 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,299 I guess I'd better see if I can cancel out 380 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:55,801 Alonzo's powers of persuasion. 381 00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:58,929 Sam? 382 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,640 Right here, sweetheart. 383 00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:03,476 See you later. 384 00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:09,607 Mr. Cushman, I want you to meet Alonzo, 385 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,943 a far-out young genius who just joined the company. 386 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,987 Peace, baby. 387 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,491 I'm gonna lay it on you. 388 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:21,702 By applying the philosophical concepts 389 00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,954 of modern Zen to advertising, 390 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:28,334 those who see the ads will feel a real compulsion 391 00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:29,794 to buy the product. 392 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,713 In this case, Monticello Carpets. 393 00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,383 An enormously exciting approach. 394 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:38,678 Zen in advertising? 395 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,138 Well, this business is cracky. 396 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,515 Who knows? 397 00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:45,851 Ah, you start him off, Alonzo. Let him have it. 398 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,478 Mr. Cushman, baby, 399 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,440 here are some words that sing. 400 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,114 Flurpity Flurp? 401 00:19:58,155 --> 00:19:59,490 Those aren't even words. 402 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:03,202 As for singing, they only hiccup a little. 403 00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,454 ♪ It's the seductive sound ♪ 404 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:08,582 ♪ Of bare feet on a carpet ♪ 405 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:09,834 ♪ Groove on ♪ 406 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,292 Pretty soon, you're gonna feel 407 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:14,171 the universal vibrations... 408 00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:17,675 ...and they gonna touch you. 409 00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:22,680 Ow, that's hot. 410 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:26,434 Wait a minute. There's a witch in here. 411 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,602 - A witch? - What's this guy on? 412 00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:31,188 I can sense it, I can feel it. 413 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,983 Oh, what a bummer. 414 00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:40,614 Tail of newt and eye of bat 415 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:43,826 Take the spell off this here cat 416 00:20:46,494 --> 00:20:48,330 I'm gonna split. 417 00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,750 This room has bad vibes. 418 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,877 Who dragged him in here? 419 00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:54,545 Darrin. 420 00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,630 It was Darrin who warned me about him, 421 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,632 but I didn't listen. 422 00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,384 Speaking of Darrin, I think I'll just 423 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,927 flow across the hall and meet with him. 424 00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:05,973 Uh, no, no, no, I would hardly recommend Darrin. 425 00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:09,477 I mean, I would heartily recommend Darrin. 426 00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:11,270 That's very generous of you. 427 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:13,898 Mr. Cushman, why go across the hall and talk to Darrin, 428 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:17,609 when it's been me who's been training him all these years? 429 00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:19,862 I mean, draining him. 430 00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:23,907 I mean, most of his ideas are mine anyway. 431 00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,203 I mean, I make them mine. 432 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:33,250 Ah, the most humane thing I can do for you now is to leave. 433 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:47,223 Flurpity Flurp! 434 00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,018 How could I? 435 00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:55,606 "Wall to wall love. Monticello Carpets." 436 00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:59,568 [Darrin] It's simple, has a certain elegance, and tells a story. 437 00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:01,612 What do you think, Mrs. Stephens? 438 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:04,615 Well, I'm prejudiced, but I love it. 439 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,282 I think I do, too. 440 00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:07,535 Stevens, you've got a deal. 441 00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:09,078 Hey, great, Mr. Cushman. 442 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,917 Darrin. 443 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,379 About the new agency and the, uh, 444 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:20,840 Monticello Carpet account. 445 00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:22,633 - Don't you think... - Yeah. 446 00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:25,302 But I'll let Larry stew a while before I give in. 447 00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:33,686 - Hi, Sam. - Larry. 448 00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:36,647 I was just on my way home and I thought I'd drop in. 449 00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:38,148 This isn't on your way home. 450 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,818 Darrin, Larry's trying to make a gesture. 451 00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:43,487 Well, I'm making one too. Goodbye. 452 00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,196 Come on in, Larry. 453 00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:48,701 Here. 454 00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:52,496 Oh, were you expecting me? 455 00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:55,958 Well, we always keep an extra for the drop-in trade. 456 00:22:57,292 --> 00:23:00,671 I just wanted to say that in spite of everything, 457 00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:02,464 we can still be friends. 458 00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:05,009 Oh, well, let's drink to that. 459 00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:13,642 Of course, the office won't seem the same without you. 460 00:23:13,684 --> 00:23:16,436 We've had some great times, Darrin. 461 00:23:16,478 --> 00:23:17,813 We're both going to miss them. 462 00:23:17,855 --> 00:23:20,733 Larry, are you asking Darrin to come back? 463 00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:22,568 No. 464 00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:24,194 I just wanted him to know 465 00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:26,906 that I still have the highest regard for him. 466 00:23:27,823 --> 00:23:29,199 How'd you do with Cushman? 467 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:30,367 Locked it up. 468 00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:32,202 You sold him the ideas we had? 469 00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:33,369 He loved them. 470 00:23:33,369 --> 00:23:35,122 You ingrate. 471 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,125 - Ingrate? - Right. 472 00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:40,669 You took advantage of one little mistake. 473 00:23:40,711 --> 00:23:43,172 A tiny error in judgment on my part. 474 00:23:43,213 --> 00:23:45,340 - What do you mean? - Well, it's obvious. 475 00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:46,884 Since I'm never wrong, 476 00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:50,012 you very shrewdly waited for the one inevitable moment 477 00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:51,722 when I would make that little slip 478 00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:54,058 that proves that nobody's perfect. 479 00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:56,977 Then you cunningly took advantage of it, 480 00:23:57,019 --> 00:23:59,021 making it look like I fired you. 481 00:23:59,063 --> 00:24:01,732 Would you like to repeat that, Larry? 482 00:24:02,232 --> 00:24:04,193 Not necessarily. 483 00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:07,404 What hurts me is that I recommended you to Cushman. 484 00:24:08,113 --> 00:24:09,949 Heartily. 485 00:24:12,242 --> 00:24:15,579 Well, I... I think in that case, Darrin, 486 00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:19,124 you should, uh, forgive and forget. 487 00:24:19,166 --> 00:24:22,086 But first, let's have an understanding. 488 00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,630 I want to do something special for you. 489 00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:26,215 Oh, that's not necessary. 490 00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:29,176 I insist. Name it. 491 00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:34,932 Uh, no. I'll let you name it. 492 00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:36,767 How does this sound? 493 00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:40,479 McMann, Tate & Stephens. 494 00:24:41,230 --> 00:24:42,439 It sounds great. 495 00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:43,732 Well, one of these days, 496 00:24:43,773 --> 00:24:45,609 if you keep out of any future trouble, 497 00:24:45,651 --> 00:24:47,778 that's the way it's going to read. 498 00:24:49,530 --> 00:24:50,656 Ciao. 499 00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,871 I thought you put a spell on him. I did. 500 00:24:57,913 --> 00:25:00,749 Well, what happened to McMann, Tate & Stephens? 501 00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:02,960 I tried. 502 00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:05,713 It just proves that where Larry is concerned 503 00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:08,340 even witchcraft has its limits. 35712

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