Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:04,588
"Deep in the forest,
the woodcutter built a fire.
2
00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:06,048
"'You stay here
and rest, '
3
00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,549
"the stepmother said
to the children.
4
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:10,135
"'And when we're ready,
we'll come and fetch you.'
5
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,513
"So Hansel and Gretel
sat by the fire
6
00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:16,558
"and when lunchtime came,
they had nothing to eat."
7
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,979
Do you know what was going
through Hansel and Gretel's mind?
8
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,025
Do you?
9
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:25,901
No.
10
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:27,986
Well, they were thinking
11
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:31,573
"Boy, some kids
sure are lucky.
12
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:34,409
"Some kids have
stew with potatoes
13
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:37,371
"and milk, and
chocolate cake for dinner
14
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,998
"and leave half of it
on their plates."
15
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,752
Now, where were we?
16
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,504
Let's see. Oh, here we are.
17
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,508
"'What was that growling
noise?' asked Gretel,
18
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,134
"clutching Hansel
in fright."
19
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:53,220
[Darrin] Honey, the Tates
should be here any minute.
20
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:55,264
And I think your
cheese puffs are burning.
21
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:56,223
Uh-oh.
22
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,767
Continued
same time tomorrow.
23
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:01,228
What was that
growling noise, Mommy?
24
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,771
Sweetheart,
you're old enough
25
00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,438
to finish reading
the story to Adam.
26
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:06,483
Come on, Adam.
27
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,072
"'What was that growling noise?'
asked Gretel."
28
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:14,616
Bear?
29
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,910
Lion?
30
00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:18,287
Hansel's tummy.
31
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,706
It was growling
from hunger. See?
32
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:23,917
Aren't they sad?
33
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,919
I bet I could
cheer them up.
34
00:01:31,340 --> 00:01:32,384
[Tabitha] Hi.
35
00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:35,596
Don't be scared,
it's only me.
36
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,306
Who are you?
37
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:40,392
Tabitha. And this is
my brother Adam.
38
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,311
We want to cheer you up.
39
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:45,022
I'm Hansel, and this is
my sister Gretel.
40
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:51,069
Are you really hungry?
41
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,738
We haven't had
anything to eat
42
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,615
since last night's supper.
43
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,033
That's terrible.
44
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:58,076
I'm going to get you
something to eat.
45
00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:04,666
How did you do that?
46
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,084
Like this.
47
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,173
It only works for witches.
48
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,342
Witches are only
in stories.
49
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,718
I'm a witch.
50
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:15,969
You couldn't be.
51
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,722
Witches are mean,
ugly, old hags.
52
00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,098
I'm a good witch
53
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,684
and I'll prove it to you by
getting you something to eat.
54
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,069
Elizabeth Montgomery in...
55
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:39,701
Bewitched.
56
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,043
I, uh, made another batch
of cheese puffs.
57
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:31,419
They smell
good enough to eat.
58
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:32,796
I thought
you might like some
59
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,506
before Larry and
Louise get here. Mmm.
60
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,799
I'll be right with you.
61
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,509
I just want to
fix these flowers.
62
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,183
Hey, something smells good.
63
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,269
My mommy's cheese puffs.
64
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,104
Do you suppose
we could have some?
65
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,772
That's what I promised.
66
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:53,233
Besides,
Mommy always makes extras.
67
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:14,296
At the risk of
hurting your feelings,
68
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,255
I thought you were on a diet.
69
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:19,801
I am. Why?
Do I look, uh...
70
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:23,388
I said have some,
not the whole platter.
71
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,641
I had one cheese puff.
72
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,226
Darrin, either they
disappeared into thin air
73
00:04:29,226 --> 00:04:31,563
or into your stomach.
74
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,982
Don't put any money
on my stomach.
75
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,859
Put it on one of your
whacked-out relatives.
76
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,029
Serena. That's it.
77
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:41,823
She always did like
my cheese puffs.
78
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:43,992
Serena!
79
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,870
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
80
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,581
Oh, Serena,
stop horsing around.
81
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,000
Hmm.
82
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,835
Well, maybe it was Mother.
83
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,796
Anyway, I'll fix some more.
84
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,088
I'm going to get the ice
85
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,714
for the drink
I'm going to need.
86
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,846
I guess
you really are a witch.
87
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:07,265
These are the best cheese
puffs we've ever tasted.
88
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,601
These are the only cheese
puffs we've ever tasted.
89
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,479
Are you still hungry?
90
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,606
Yeah.
91
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,525
Do you like leg of lamb?
92
00:05:16,565 --> 00:05:19,611
I don't know,
but we'll take a chance.
93
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,113
Good, we're having
leg of lamb for dinner.
94
00:05:22,154 --> 00:05:23,490
I'll get you some.
95
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,408
Wouldn't your parents
be mad?
96
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,537
No, they always taught
Adam and me to share.
97
00:05:28,577 --> 00:05:31,957
Would you like to stay over
and have breakfast, too?
98
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,500
Papa wouldn't let us.
99
00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:34,751
I'll ask him.
100
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,545
But you don't know Papa.
101
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:37,671
He doesn't know me.
102
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,597
That's some trick.
103
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,061
It's easy when you know how.
104
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,146
Now, how do I find
your father?
105
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,731
Just wander around.
106
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:59,901
If you don't find him,
he'll find you.
107
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,945
Sweetheart, I wish
you'd try to relax.
108
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,323
The leg of lamb
is on its way.
109
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,825
So, just take it...
110
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,120
Sam...
111
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,329
I'll be right back.
112
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:17,752
I'll, uh, follow
the floating leg of lamb
113
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:18,795
and find the culprit.
114
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,061
What are you two
doing here?
115
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:38,273
We're about to have our
breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
116
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:39,900
I'm Hansel, she's Gretel.
117
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,777
And this is leg of lamb.
118
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:43,904
Who are you?
119
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:47,824
I happen to be the mother
of a very naughty witch.
120
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,244
Incidentally,
where is she?
121
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,246
She went into the book
122
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:55,248
to ask Papa
if we could sleep over.
123
00:06:57,791 --> 00:06:59,628
Oh, my stars.
124
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:02,213
Sam, did you find out
what happened to the...
125
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,009
I knew
I was gonna need this.
126
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,261
Sam, what's going on?
127
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:11,640
Who are these kids?
And where is Tabitha?
128
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,476
Well...
129
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:22,025
This is Hansel,
and this is Gretel.
130
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,735
And Tabitha went
into the storybook
131
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,071
to ask their papa if they
could spend the night.
132
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,114
Which means I have to go
into the storybook to find her
133
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,617
because this isn't the kind of
story you should fool around in
134
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:32,202
because there's
a mean witch in it.
135
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,537
Which really isn't
as awful as it sounds.
136
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,414
It's all part of growing up.
137
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,750
Nothing to worry about,
really.
138
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,544
This is Hansel
and this is Gretel.
139
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:44,506
That's a book,
140
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,466
and Tabitha went
into that book.
141
00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:48,510
And you're telling me,
this is all part of growing up
142
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,929
and nothing to worry about?
143
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,015
Right.
144
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:56,142
Well, except the witch.
145
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:59,187
Oh, yeah,
that witch is really mean.
146
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,439
She's always
turning children into pies
147
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,358
and eating them for dessert.
148
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,735
Bye.
149
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,280
I'll be right back.
150
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,866
Don't let Hansel and Gretel
out of your sight.
151
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,159
Okay.
152
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:16,079
Tabitha! Tabitha?
153
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:23,294
They'll never believe this
down at the psychiatrist's.
154
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,675
Tabitha? Tabitha!
155
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,511
Tabitha!
156
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,660
Nibble, nibble,
like a mouse,
157
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,787
who is nibbling at my house?
158
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,586
What you want, mister?
159
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,921
You better do something
about those glasses.
160
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,801
I better do something
about these glasses.
161
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:15,388
Look, whatever you are,
makes no never mind to me.
162
00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:19,017
Nibbling on private property
is against the law.
163
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,602
Ate away half my roof,
you glutton.
164
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:23,480
Well, I'm sorry,
but I was nervous.
165
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,607
I'm looking
for my daughter.
166
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,649
Eh?
167
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:28,401
Daughter!
168
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,153
Won't find no water
around here.
169
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:32,447
My well's gone dry.
170
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:36,034
I'm looking for
a little girl called Tabitha!
171
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,535
What are you yelling about?
172
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,120
I don't know no Tabitha!
173
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,164
I know a Gretel
and that's all I know.
174
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,166
Look, whoever you are,
175
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,543
I'm a very wicked, old witch.
176
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,630
And I'm getting sick and
tired of you snooping around.
177
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:51,508
You don't belong here,
this is a restricted story.
178
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,635
Not that I'm prejudiced
or anything,
179
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,761
but I have a fond respect
for the classics.
180
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,806
And you don't belong
in this classic.
181
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,182
Now scat! Scat!
182
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,477
Okay, you old bat.
183
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:03,937
I heard that.
184
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:09,275
Sorry. Tabitha! Tabitha!
185
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,081
Well, now,
186
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:27,252
how do you expect to grow up
to be a nice, plump Tabitha pie
187
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,504
if you don't eat?
188
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,840
I don't wanna be a fat pie.
189
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,509
I wanna be a nice, skinny
witch, like my mommy.
190
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,344
Well,
you're a selfish little girl.
191
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,263
I was expecting
Hansel and Gretel,
192
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,849
but being as you've intruded,
193
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,892
you'll do.
194
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:45,727
If you don't let me out,
I'll do some magic to you.
195
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:47,647
Try it.
All storybook witches
196
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,899
are stronger than
real little-girl witches.
197
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,945
I want my mommy.
198
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:57,699
Don't worry about your mommy,
she won't be lonely.
199
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,534
She has a Hansel
and a Gretel,
200
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,202
instead of
a stupid little Tabitha!
201
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:09,878
Adam, I wish your mommy
would hurry back.
202
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,796
It isn't that
I don't like children.
203
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,256
This just isn't my idea
of a fun evening.
204
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:18,636
Uh-oh. That must be
Larry and Louise.
205
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,804
Now, you stay right here.
206
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,223
No.
207
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,559
Well, hi.
Hi, there.
208
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,187
Hope we're not early.
No, no, just fine.
209
00:11:27,227 --> 00:11:28,521
Good.
210
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,650
Darrin, why are you carrying
that leg of lamb?
211
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,653
Well, in the condition
it's in,
212
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,947
it couldn't very well
walk by itself.
213
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:40,950
Where's Samantha?
214
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:44,621
She's upstairs doing
something for Tabitha.
215
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,497
I've been covering for her
in the kitchen.
216
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,916
Well, make yourselves
comfortable,
217
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,376
while I exchange this leg of
lamb for some cheese puffs.
218
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,669
Ooh.
Thank you.
219
00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,260
Hello.
Hello.
220
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:03,932
[Louise] Well, well,
221
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,475
what have we here?
222
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,309
I'm Hansel
and this is Gretel.
223
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:09,062
Hansel and Gretel, huh?
224
00:12:09,102 --> 00:12:10,521
That's right.
225
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,232
How do you do? Gretel.
226
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:16,110
We live in the forest with
our father the woodcarver.
227
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,780
And we have nothing to eat
and we're hungry.
228
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:22,575
Oh, you sound like you're
right out of a fairy tale.
229
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,619
We are.
Tabitha got us out.
230
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:27,914
Uh, actually,
Tabitha got them in.
231
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,043
These are friends of Tabitha's
from down the street.
232
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:35,797
They're in a, uh, play that
Sam is putting on for charity.
233
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:38,341
Oh, well,
isn't that nice?
234
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,843
I'm surprised
Samantha didn't mention it.
235
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,097
Well, it just came up.
236
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:46,307
Oh. Oh. Well.
237
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,809
They're certainly
cute costumes.
238
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,727
Yes, yes.
239
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,980
Well, come on,
kids, time to go home.
240
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,816
They're neighborhood kids,
live right down the block.
241
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,527
Can't we have
something to eat first?
242
00:12:57,568 --> 00:13:00,196
There's nothing to eat
at our house.
243
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,116
They're method actors.
244
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,662
They're really
into their parts.
245
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,163
Darrin,
have you been drinking?
246
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,165
No.
247
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,293
Neither have we.
248
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:18,756
Oh, here. What'll you have?
249
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,384
Do you have any bouillon?
250
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,469
I'd love a bulls hot.
251
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,179
I think I'll stick
with scotch and water.
252
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,224
Uh, Louise, wouldn't you
rather have a scotch and water?
253
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,267
It's closer.
254
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,230
Excuse me
while I get the bouillon.
255
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,944
We'll go out and find
something to eat.
256
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,155
It's nice meeting you.
Bye.
257
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,740
Bye-bye.
Bye.
258
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,160
Aren't they cute?
259
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,708
Where are the kids?
260
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,501
Oh, they went home.
261
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,087
What?
Well, why'd you let them?
262
00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:01,174
Well, you just got through
telling them to go home.
263
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:04,469
As a matter of fact, you were a
little psyched-out on the subject.
264
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,554
But they... The costumes.
265
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:08,806
They took the costumes
with them.
266
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:11,893
Well, I'm sure
they'll bring them back.
267
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:15,480
How can they bring them back,
if they get lost?
268
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,565
How can they get lost,
when you told us
269
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,192
they live
just down the block?
270
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,361
But, it's a long block.
271
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,571
It could be pitch-black
by the time they get home.
272
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,031
I'll be right back.
273
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,699
Darrin.
Hmm.
274
00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:28,910
Oh, forgive me, Louise.
275
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,787
Uh, Larry,
I'm sorry to impose,
276
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:32,580
but, uh, would you mind
making the drinks?
277
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,290
Believe me,
it's no imposition.
278
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,876
Hansel! Gretel!
279
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,755
Hansel! Gretel!
280
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:43,007
Oh, pardon me, sir.
281
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,259
Have you seen two little
children about so high
282
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,721
who answer to the name
of Hansel and Gretel?
283
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:51,766
No, but Rumpelstiltskin
was by a few minutes ago
284
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,227
with a spinning wheel
on his back.
285
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,686
That's funny.
286
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,440
Hansel! Gretel!
287
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:07,865
Tabitha! Tabitha!
288
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,588
Pardon me. Are you Hansel
and Gretel's stepmother?
289
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,465
It depends. Who are you?
290
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:26,592
Well, I'm here to...
291
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:27,844
To collect for the poor?
292
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:30,304
Oh, have you come
to the wrong house.
293
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:31,806
We are the poor.
294
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,933
Is this the home
of the woodcutter?
295
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,935
You call this a home?
296
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:39,981
Oh, the promises he made to me
to talk me into this story.
297
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,524
"Brunhilda," he said,
298
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:44,235
"I will become
a famous woodcutter."
299
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:48,072
He became famous all right,
famous for his poverty.
300
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,533
Believe me, madam,
301
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:53,828
your life will have
a happy ending.
302
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,414
How do you know?
Are you a fortune-teller?
303
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,207
No, not really.
304
00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,793
I'm a witch,
and I'm looking for...
305
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:02,086
Wait a minute.
306
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,214
Where did you come from?
307
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:07,508
[Sam] From there.
308
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:09,677
Oh...
309
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:12,513
That miserable Wolfgang.
310
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:15,099
"Don't go into the forest,
Brunhilda,
311
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,309
"it's dangerous.
312
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:21,063
"There's a mean, old, ugly,
wicked witch that lives there."
313
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:24,066
No. No, you don't understand.
314
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:27,069
Oh, I understand, all right.
315
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:29,405
Why he keeps going
into the forest
316
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,073
every day to, quote,
317
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:33,868
"Look for some
wood to cut," unquote.
318
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,078
What he's really
looking for is, quote,
319
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:40,750
"A little hanky-panky with
the beautiful witch," unquote.
320
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:43,085
Will you please listen?
321
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,547
My name is Samantha.
322
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:49,091
I am a witch,
but not in this story.
323
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,636
If you're talking to me,
you're in this story.
324
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,221
No, no, you see,
325
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,389
I am looking for
my daughter Tabitha.
326
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:57,600
She's about this high
and she has blonde...
327
00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,519
I haven't seen her.
328
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,978
Maybe she got lost
in the forest
329
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,688
and the witch got her,
330
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,523
if there is a witch.
331
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:07,151
There is. I was there.
332
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,237
She said
she hadn't seen her either.
333
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,905
And you believed her?
334
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:12,281
Sure, I believed her.
335
00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,910
Why did I believe her?
336
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:18,287
You're not supposed to believe
fairy-tale witches.
337
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,499
Tabitha! Tabitha!
338
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,963
Do you really think
you need another drink?
339
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:30,007
Louise, I've got to have
some kind of nourishment.
340
00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:31,842
Have a cheese puff.
341
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,636
I said nourishment.
342
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,143
Are the kids back?
343
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,270
No.
344
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,311
How about Sam?
345
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:44,772
Well,
she hasn't come down yet.
346
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:45,982
Do you think
something's wrong?
347
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,067
Wrong?
What could be wrong?
348
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:51,028
I'll check.
Have another drink.
349
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,739
Well, I think there's
something radically wrong here.
350
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,907
Only if they run out
of scotch.
351
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:05,459
Nibble, nibble,
like a mouse,
352
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,628
who is nibbling at my house?
353
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:10,506
Just knock it off,
and come out here.
354
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,552
Yes?
355
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,845
It's me again.
356
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:18,180
Go away,
I'm about to bake my supper.
357
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:21,058
And who would that be?
358
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,935
I don't give out recipes.
359
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:24,854
Now, take off,
before I do something
360
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,689
nasty.
361
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,192
You mean, like this?
362
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,241
Give me back my cane!
363
00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:39,035
Oh, gladly.
364
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,542
This isn't a cane,
it's a wand.
365
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,170
Of course.
366
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,048
And I am going to turn you
into a fairy godmother.
367
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,550
For your information,
you're not messing around
368
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:55,843
with any storybook witch.
369
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,054
I happen to be
the real thing.
370
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,268
I can't be a fairy godmother.
371
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,520
A fairy godmother
is good and sweet...
372
00:19:06,561 --> 00:19:07,563
Yech!
373
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,648
And kind.
It'll ruin the story.
374
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,400
Yes, I know.
375
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:13,694
Oh, please, please.
You can't do this
376
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,071
to millions
of little children.
377
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:18,115
Okay, where's Tabitha?
378
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,701
What did you say
your daughter's name was?
379
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:23,329
Tabitha, Tabitha Stephens.
380
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:26,874
Oh, that Tabitha!
Oh, she's a lovely child.
381
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,792
I tell you what.
You turn me back,
382
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,544
and I'll take you
right to her.
383
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:36,550
Thank you, thank you.
Come, come.
384
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:43,974
Mommy!
385
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,351
Hi, sweetheart.
386
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,978
I can't say
I'm not glad to see you.
387
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,980
But when I get over
my relief,
388
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:53,067
I'm going to be very angry.
389
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,361
How can you be angry
at this poor, little darling?
390
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:58,196
Poor dear was wandering around
in the woods lost,
391
00:19:58,239 --> 00:20:01,534
and grandma put her in
the guest room.
392
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:04,369
Well, we'll have her out in a
minute as soon as I find the key.
393
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:06,038
Let's go.
394
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,794
Good riddance!
395
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:19,385
All right, young lady,
now you stay right here.
396
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:21,721
You have been
a very naughty girl.
397
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:25,891
And believe me, there's going to
be some serious discussion later.
398
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:27,351
Okay, Mommy.
399
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:32,898
Ah, thank you very much,
officers, for bringing the kids home.
400
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,775
But we don't live here.
401
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,234
Well, where do you live?
402
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:37,987
We live in the forest.
403
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:40,030
These are real
wiseacre kids.
404
00:20:40,071 --> 00:20:42,199
You can never get
a straight answer from them.
405
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:43,993
[Larry] What's the trouble, officers?
406
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,953
Oh, don't worry,
Larry, I'll handle it.
407
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:47,538
Uh, why don't you
fix yourself another drink?
408
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,623
I just fixed myself
another drink.
409
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,083
Well, then,
fix me one.
410
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:53,586
All right.
411
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,338
Now, what's the problem,
officer?
412
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,715
I'll tell you
what's the problem.
413
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,008
What's the problem,
officer?
414
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,760
I'll tell you
what's the problem.
415
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,052
It's about time.
I'll explain.
416
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,637
What's the problem,
officer?
417
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,513
I'll tell you...
418
00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:07,475
If you'll let me
finish the sentence,
419
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,310
I'll tell you
what's the problem.
420
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,103
The problem is,
these two kids were caught
421
00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:13,189
stealing ice cream
from a street vendor.
422
00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:16,817
Now, two popsicles
we can overlook,
423
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:18,152
but two gallons?
424
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:19,987
We were very hungry.
425
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:21,906
And we can't get their
names out of them.
426
00:21:21,946 --> 00:21:23,199
We told you.
427
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,577
I'm Hansel and she's Gretel.
428
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:29,497
And I told you,
I'm Humpty and he's dumpty.
429
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,916
And you know what they said when
we asked them for their last names?
430
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:33,334
They said
they didn't have one,
431
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,211
they were too poor
to have one.
432
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:37,880
Look, officer, how
much was the ice cream?
433
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:39,173
We'll make it good.
434
00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:40,508
Oh, no, no, no, ma'am.
435
00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:41,967
That won't teach them
a lesson.
436
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:45,054
After all, we do have to maintain
law and order in the streets.
437
00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:47,765
First it's ice cream,
next it's banks.
438
00:21:50,059 --> 00:21:51,560
Well, you say
they're not your kids.
439
00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:53,145
Now, where do they live?
440
00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:55,564
We told you,
in the forest.
441
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,026
Uh...
442
00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:01,695
They are very
imaginative children.
443
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:06,742
Actually, they live
at 1432 Forest Lane Drive.
444
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,371
Fine. We have to make
a report on it.
445
00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:12,748
We'll notify their parents.
Come on, kids.
446
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,542
It's okay, kids.
447
00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:18,921
Uh, you'll be going home
in just a second.
448
00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:22,715
Tell Tabitha, "thank you very
much for the cheese puffs."
449
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,009
You're welcome.
450
00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:25,761
All right, hurry up,
we're wasting time.
451
00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:38,858
Charlie?
452
00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:40,317
Yeah?
453
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:43,279
Did you see what I saw?
454
00:22:44,238 --> 00:22:45,906
What did you see?
455
00:22:45,948 --> 00:22:47,282
Well, I'd rather not say.
456
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:51,161
If you'd rather not say,
why should I pry?
457
00:22:55,833 --> 00:22:56,959
Where'd they go?
458
00:22:57,001 --> 00:22:58,377
They're upstairs.
459
00:22:58,419 --> 00:23:00,504
Now, I'll go up and see to it
they get back in the book.
460
00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:02,756
You cover with
Larry and Louise.
461
00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:05,301
Why don't you two
have a little drink before...
462
00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:09,888
I don't think
Larry needs another drink.
463
00:23:10,806 --> 00:23:12,808
Louise, I'm sorry.
464
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:14,727
Larry.
465
00:23:14,768 --> 00:23:15,769
Mmm.
466
00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:28,115
This is the first time
in my life
467
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:29,992
I've had a hangover
before dinner.
468
00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:31,660
Well, I'm very sorry,
Larry,
469
00:23:31,702 --> 00:23:34,914
but I was having a little
trouble with Tabitha.
470
00:23:35,664 --> 00:23:37,249
Yes, uh,
471
00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:40,628
it's this play that Sam
is directing for charity.
472
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:43,839
Tabitha was very jealous, because
she wanted to play the part of Gretel
473
00:23:43,881 --> 00:23:46,842
instead of the part of
the wicked old witch, and...
474
00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:48,844
Yes,
475
00:23:48,886 --> 00:23:51,888
you know how it is with these
temperamental actresses.
476
00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:54,224
Well, those kids you got
to play Hansel and Gretel
477
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,268
are certainly convincing.
478
00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:58,436
Yes. Yes, they were,
weren't they?
479
00:23:58,479 --> 00:24:00,522
When's the play
going to be, Samantha?
480
00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:03,400
When? Oh, I...
I don't know.
481
00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:06,570
Uh, sometime next month.
482
00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:09,490
Oh, that's a shame,
they seem ready right now.
483
00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:10,657
Oh, yes, they're ready,
484
00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:13,535
but we're not scheduled
until later.
485
00:24:13,577 --> 00:24:14,494
Oh.
486
00:24:14,536 --> 00:24:16,288
Uh, where is it
going to be?
487
00:24:17,665 --> 00:24:18,666
Where?
488
00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:21,669
At the community center,
489
00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:23,921
but it isn't available
until next month.
490
00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:26,548
Oh.
491
00:24:27,715 --> 00:24:29,718
Say, I have an idea.
492
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,595
I belong to the Women's
League, you know,
493
00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:34,890
and we have an auditorium
that seats 300 people,
494
00:24:34,932 --> 00:24:36,600
and it's available anytime.
495
00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:38,894
Anytime, huh?
496
00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:42,856
Well, I... I don't know
497
00:24:42,898 --> 00:24:44,692
if I can get the sets
and everything ready.
498
00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:47,403
Oh, oh, don't worry,
I'll pitch in and help.
499
00:24:47,444 --> 00:24:49,738
You just worry
about the creative work.
500
00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:52,907
You're very good
at that, Sam.
501
00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:59,415
How did you, uh,
get started on this play?
502
00:25:00,374 --> 00:25:02,417
It was Darrin's idea.
35292
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof