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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,484 --> 00:00:03,224 Previously, on "Young Sheldon"... 2 00:00:03,282 --> 00:00:04,796 - Who are you? - I'm Paige. 3 00:00:04,884 --> 00:00:07,600 A unique child can require a lot of attention. 4 00:00:07,688 --> 00:00:08,889 Try all the attention. 5 00:00:08,977 --> 00:00:11,335 Barry and I haven't been in a good place in a long time. 6 00:00:11,423 --> 00:00:14,280 This is oddly reminiscent of a dinner with my family. 7 00:00:14,368 --> 00:00:17,220 Do you think Stone Age parents stayed together forever? 8 00:00:17,368 --> 00:00:19,405 They had to. There were no lawyers. 9 00:00:19,493 --> 00:00:21,234 Well, I think my parents are getting a divorce. 10 00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:23,259 - Why? - They fight all the time. 11 00:00:23,446 --> 00:00:25,475 - About what? - Mostly me. 12 00:00:25,649 --> 00:00:27,048 I guess I'm lucky. 13 00:00:27,376 --> 00:00:28,422 Why? 14 00:00:28,648 --> 00:00:31,390 I'm the glue that holds our family together. 15 00:00:35,695 --> 00:00:37,000 No more coffee? 16 00:00:37,088 --> 00:00:38,138 Last cup. 17 00:00:38,226 --> 00:00:39,742 Well, you mind making more? 18 00:00:39,968 --> 00:00:41,114 I just sat down. 19 00:00:41,484 --> 00:00:43,052 But you finished the pot. 20 00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:45,250 George, if I wanted to make a cup of coffee, 21 00:00:45,338 --> 00:00:46,979 I'd have stayed at my house. 22 00:00:48,062 --> 00:00:49,361 Mmm. 23 00:00:49,539 --> 00:00:51,172 One day I'm gonna put you in a home, 24 00:00:51,297 --> 00:00:52,904 and I'm gonna smile just like that. 25 00:00:52,992 --> 00:00:54,013 That's fine. 26 00:00:54,101 --> 00:00:56,273 By then I won't know who you are anyway. 27 00:00:57,805 --> 00:00:59,875 Guess who is getting a divorce. 28 00:01:00,047 --> 00:01:02,219 About time. Congrats. 29 00:01:02,351 --> 00:01:04,568 Linda and Barry Swanson. 30 00:01:04,656 --> 00:01:07,047 Who's that? A-And can you tell me how to make coffee? 31 00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,101 They're Paige's parents. 32 00:01:09,189 --> 00:01:10,076 Who? 33 00:01:10,164 --> 00:01:11,664 The little smart girl. 34 00:01:12,015 --> 00:01:15,185 Apparently she's taking the divorce really hard. 35 00:01:15,273 --> 00:01:17,201 I guess she's been having trouble in school. 36 00:01:17,289 --> 00:01:18,802 Aw, poor thing. 37 00:01:18,898 --> 00:01:21,357 Linda thinks Sheldon might be a good influence, 38 00:01:21,445 --> 00:01:23,765 you know, maybe rub off on her a little bit. 39 00:01:23,922 --> 00:01:26,094 What, she wants her kid to be more like Sheldon? 40 00:01:27,242 --> 00:01:29,344 I don't know what to say about that. 41 00:01:30,109 --> 00:01:31,951 So, good news. 42 00:01:32,054 --> 00:01:34,687 Paige is gonna spend the weekend with us. 43 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,498 My history with Paige 44 00:01:36,586 --> 00:01:38,638 brought up complicated feelings. 45 00:01:38,726 --> 00:01:39,888 She challenged me. 46 00:01:39,976 --> 00:01:41,364 Do you know if you'll be doing a full-color 47 00:01:41,451 --> 00:01:44,357 octet calculation with matrix manipulations? 48 00:01:44,601 --> 00:01:46,074 I know you're in my spot. 49 00:01:46,162 --> 00:01:47,427 She disturbed me. 50 00:01:47,515 --> 00:01:48,887 Hi, Sheldon! 51 00:01:49,084 --> 00:01:50,889 She enraged me. 52 00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:52,302 Checkmate. 53 00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:54,637 Things were simpler 54 00:01:54,724 --> 00:01:56,285 for my simple-minded sister. 55 00:01:56,373 --> 00:01:57,544 Yay! 56 00:01:59,043 --> 00:02:02,027 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 57 00:02:02,138 --> 00:02:04,935 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 58 00:02:05,070 --> 00:02:07,464 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 59 00:02:07,552 --> 00:02:10,597 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 60 00:02:10,685 --> 00:02:14,201 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ ♪YOUNG SHELDON♪ 61 00:02:14,406 --> 00:02:17,054 *YOUNG SHELDON* Season 03 Episode 12 62 00:02:17,248 --> 00:02:20,062 Episode Title: " Body Glitter and a Mall Safety Kit" 63 00:02:20,672 --> 00:02:23,615 Shelly, I got you something. 64 00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:26,365 The Professor Proton Science Kit! 65 00:02:26,466 --> 00:02:27,887 Wait a minute. 66 00:02:28,388 --> 00:02:30,230 Last time you gave me a present for no reason, 67 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,810 I had to get a booster shot. 68 00:02:31,911 --> 00:02:33,308 Nothing like that. 69 00:02:33,396 --> 00:02:36,191 I was just thinking, it might be a fun thing for you 70 00:02:36,279 --> 00:02:37,464 to share with Paige. 71 00:02:37,552 --> 00:02:38,615 Sharing. 72 00:02:38,997 --> 00:02:40,810 Sometimes I feel like you don't know me. 73 00:02:41,348 --> 00:02:43,777 Paige is having a rough time at home right now, 74 00:02:43,865 --> 00:02:46,011 and I think she could really use a friend. 75 00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:47,855 A crocodile could really use a meal, 76 00:02:47,943 --> 00:02:50,044 but that doesn't mean I should leap into his mouth. 77 00:02:50,505 --> 00:02:53,990 Shelly, I am asking you to do this for me. 78 00:02:54,349 --> 00:02:55,784 This was the woman 79 00:02:55,872 --> 00:02:58,167 who cut the crusts off my sandwiches. 80 00:02:58,255 --> 00:02:59,323 She had me. 81 00:02:59,411 --> 00:03:01,130 Into the mouth I go. 82 00:03:02,598 --> 00:03:04,763 ♪ Unskinny bop ♪ 83 00:03:04,904 --> 00:03:07,966 ♪ Just blows me away, yeah... ♪ 84 00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,745 Why haven't you mowed the lawn? 85 00:03:09,833 --> 00:03:11,144 I been busy. 86 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,191 Well, you're not busy now. 87 00:03:13,279 --> 00:03:14,433 I'm working out. 88 00:03:14,521 --> 00:03:16,831 Got the word "work" right there in it. 89 00:03:18,802 --> 00:03:20,708 Get out there and mow. 90 00:03:21,263 --> 00:03:22,839 Why? I'm making good money. 91 00:03:22,927 --> 00:03:24,903 I don't need an allowance, so I don't need to do chores. 92 00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:26,232 It's not about that. 93 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,473 You're part of this family, you still need to help out. 94 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,441 So I'm just here to do your bidding? 95 00:03:30,529 --> 00:03:32,951 Well, and people say Sheldon's a genius. 96 00:03:38,107 --> 00:03:40,667 I just want to remind you both to please be sensitive 97 00:03:40,755 --> 00:03:43,241 about the situation with Paige's family. 98 00:03:43,646 --> 00:03:45,003 She's talking to you, dingus. 99 00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:46,201 Both of you. 100 00:03:47,289 --> 00:03:49,300 - Hi, come in. - Hello. 101 00:03:49,388 --> 00:03:50,933 - Hi, Missy. - Hi, Sheldon. 102 00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:53,146 What did you do to your hair? Is this because 103 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:54,645 your parents got divorced? 104 00:03:54,848 --> 00:03:55,933 Dingus. 105 00:03:56,021 --> 00:03:57,379 Well, she just really wanted to, 106 00:03:57,466 --> 00:03:59,464 and I thought, you know, under the circumstances, 107 00:03:59,552 --> 00:04:00,349 why not? 108 00:04:00,458 --> 00:04:01,941 Well, I think it looks great. 109 00:04:02,029 --> 00:04:03,089 So, can I have pink...? 110 00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:04,888 No. Why don't you kids go play? 111 00:04:05,032 --> 00:04:07,475 I'd rather have pink hair than together parents. 112 00:04:07,563 --> 00:04:08,943 I don't blame you. 113 00:04:12,916 --> 00:04:14,896 Well, it's about time. 114 00:04:18,107 --> 00:04:20,357 Hi, Mr. Cooper! 115 00:04:20,482 --> 00:04:22,927 Billy. What are you doing? 116 00:04:23,585 --> 00:04:24,760 I'm mowing the lawn. 117 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:25,972 What are you doing? 118 00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:27,503 Did Georgie put you up to this? 119 00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:28,995 Yeah. He's paying me. 120 00:04:29,083 --> 00:04:30,411 That dummy. 121 00:04:30,499 --> 00:04:32,755 I'm raising the money to buy a Jet Ski. 122 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:37,050 I mean, I'm thrilled that he's gone, 123 00:04:37,138 --> 00:04:38,997 but I do worry about how it's affecting Paige. 124 00:04:39,085 --> 00:04:40,122 Of course. 125 00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:42,636 You and George have such a beautiful family. 126 00:04:42,724 --> 00:04:45,552 I think it's good for her to be around that right now. 127 00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:49,310 Oh. Hey. 128 00:04:49,411 --> 00:04:51,691 Nice to see you. Sorry about the divorce. 129 00:04:51,779 --> 00:04:53,599 I got to go yell at my idiot son. 130 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,036 Georgie! Where are you? 131 00:04:57,893 --> 00:04:59,659 You look great, by the way. 132 00:04:59,726 --> 00:05:01,976 Oh, thanks. I started smoking again. 133 00:05:05,911 --> 00:05:07,277 What the hell's wrong with you? 134 00:05:07,365 --> 00:05:08,948 You think it's okay for Billy Sparks 135 00:05:09,036 --> 00:05:10,896 - to do yourwork? - I paid him. 136 00:05:10,984 --> 00:05:13,544 I tried to give him two dollars, but he only wanted one. 137 00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:16,505 Damn it, Georgie, I'm trying to teach you responsibility. 138 00:05:16,708 --> 00:05:18,787 You can't just buy your way out of everything in life. 139 00:05:18,874 --> 00:05:19,910 You sure? 140 00:05:19,911 --> 00:05:21,905 'Cause I'll give you ten bucks to leave me alone right now. 141 00:05:21,992 --> 00:05:23,784 Go mow the lawn. 142 00:05:23,872 --> 00:05:25,427 I'm not gonna say it again. 143 00:05:25,943 --> 00:05:28,940 Fine. But I'm only doing this so you'll get off my back. 144 00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:31,661 Oh, you'll know when I'm on your back, little man. 145 00:05:32,982 --> 00:05:34,544 Now we can be hair twins. 146 00:05:34,831 --> 00:05:37,136 Paige, you're supposed to be doing science with me. 147 00:05:37,224 --> 00:05:38,530 That's boring. 148 00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:40,750 I want to do something dangerous. 149 00:05:40,935 --> 00:05:43,495 This is dangerous. We don't have an eye wash station. 150 00:05:43,583 --> 00:05:46,120 - Let's go to the mall. - Mom doesn't like the mall. 151 00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:48,777 She says the mannequins don't have enough clothes on, 152 00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:50,318 but I think it's 'cause we're poor. 153 00:05:50,458 --> 00:05:52,490 We are poor. I do our taxes. 154 00:05:52,818 --> 00:05:54,784 Don't worry. I'll ask her. 155 00:05:54,872 --> 00:05:56,464 Ever since my parents got divorced, 156 00:05:56,552 --> 00:05:57,767 people can't say no to me. 157 00:05:57,854 --> 00:06:00,185 My mom promised she would take me to the mall to get me 158 00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:02,191 a new backpack, but she was so busy 159 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,902 cleaning my dad's stuff out of the garage 160 00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:05,644 - that I think she forgot. - Oh. 161 00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:09,333 Of course I can take you. Anything you need. 162 00:06:09,778 --> 00:06:11,443 Thank you, Mrs. Cooper. 163 00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:17,021 Will you marry me? 164 00:06:20,794 --> 00:06:22,535 Why are you taking a backpack to the mall? 165 00:06:22,623 --> 00:06:24,630 This is my mall safety kit. 166 00:06:26,242 --> 00:06:28,027 Earplugs to drown out crowd noise, 167 00:06:28,169 --> 00:06:30,503 Wet-Naps to wipe down escalator handrails, 168 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:31,997 a compass, a map of the mall, 169 00:06:32,085 --> 00:06:33,881 and a whistle, in case I get lost 170 00:06:33,969 --> 00:06:36,363 or approached by a woman holding a perfume bottle. 171 00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:38,365 You want to stuff him in there, right? 172 00:06:38,452 --> 00:06:39,757 No. 173 00:06:43,161 --> 00:06:44,425 Okay, Paige, 174 00:06:44,513 --> 00:06:46,388 where should we go to get your backpack? 175 00:06:46,476 --> 00:06:48,434 - The Hello Kitty store. - I would help you find it, 176 00:06:48,521 --> 00:06:49,917 but this subpar mall map 177 00:06:50,005 --> 00:06:51,458 isn't even oriented north. 178 00:06:51,546 --> 00:06:54,935 Let's go. All right, have fun at the Hello Kitty store, 179 00:06:55,033 --> 00:06:57,503 and meet me at the fountain in half an hour. 180 00:06:57,591 --> 00:07:00,604 Just to be clear, there are no actual kitties, right? 181 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:03,780 I can't imagine talking to my dad 182 00:07:03,868 --> 00:07:05,261 the way this kid talks to me. 183 00:07:05,513 --> 00:07:08,351 I'd have had a belt on my backside so fast... 184 00:07:08,677 --> 00:07:10,527 My dad was a hugger. 185 00:07:11,107 --> 00:07:13,105 I had to tell him three times to mow the lawn, 186 00:07:13,193 --> 00:07:14,575 and he still gave me attitude. 187 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,447 He's going to school, holding down a job. 188 00:07:17,575 --> 00:07:19,880 If he was my kid, I'd be proud of him. 189 00:07:22,373 --> 00:07:24,029 I am proud of him. 190 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,987 When he's not being a total pain in my ass. 191 00:07:28,371 --> 00:07:29,994 You ever tell him you're proud? 192 00:07:31,221 --> 00:07:32,424 He knows. 193 00:07:32,955 --> 00:07:34,940 I think it's important for children to hear it. 194 00:07:35,028 --> 00:07:36,705 You don't even have kids. 195 00:07:37,511 --> 00:07:39,571 I teach and coach teenage boys. 196 00:07:39,659 --> 00:07:42,341 I also put up with your childish nonsense. 197 00:07:44,510 --> 00:07:46,557 Georgie's just being so damn disrespectful, 198 00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,156 I don't want to reward that. 199 00:07:48,244 --> 00:07:49,305 All right. 200 00:07:49,392 --> 00:07:51,182 My father never said he was proud of me. 201 00:07:51,525 --> 00:07:52,917 I turned out just fine. 202 00:07:54,385 --> 00:07:57,574 George, I'm just trying to have a nice day, 203 00:07:57,661 --> 00:07:59,455 make some white folks uncomfortable. 204 00:07:59,557 --> 00:08:01,186 Can you please? 205 00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:06,362 ♪ Bela Lugosi's dead... ♪ 206 00:08:06,495 --> 00:08:08,784 This isn't the Hello Kitty store. 207 00:08:09,002 --> 00:08:11,026 No. It's Hot Topic. 208 00:08:11,121 --> 00:08:13,341 - What's the topic, devil worship? - Hey, 209 00:08:13,429 --> 00:08:15,975 did you know there's a bow tie section in the back? 210 00:08:16,850 --> 00:08:19,108 Why would they hide that in the back? 211 00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:23,858 Ooh. What's that? 212 00:08:24,209 --> 00:08:25,428 Body glitter. 213 00:08:25,545 --> 00:08:27,822 That's so much better than regular glitter. 214 00:08:27,909 --> 00:08:29,004 Then buy it. 215 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,349 I don't have any money. 216 00:08:30,592 --> 00:08:31,912 Then steal it. 217 00:08:32,334 --> 00:08:34,219 No, my mom would kill me. 218 00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:39,334 Fine. Your mom can't punish me. 219 00:08:39,422 --> 00:08:40,704 I didn't see any bow ties, 220 00:08:40,791 --> 00:08:42,263 just a shirt with a bad word on it. 221 00:08:42,370 --> 00:08:43,818 What did you put in your pocket? 222 00:08:43,906 --> 00:08:44,967 Nothing. 223 00:08:45,055 --> 00:08:47,162 Are you guys stealing? Because if you are, 224 00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,459 I am prepared to literally blow the whistle on you... 225 00:08:49,546 --> 00:08:51,052 Okay. 226 00:08:51,693 --> 00:08:52,768 Okay. 227 00:08:52,934 --> 00:08:54,842 Relax, we were just playing around. 228 00:08:54,953 --> 00:08:57,285 - Let's just get out of here. - Good. 229 00:08:57,373 --> 00:08:58,730 Everyone behind the counter 230 00:08:58,818 --> 00:08:59,965 has an earring where an earring 231 00:09:00,052 --> 00:09:01,186 does not belong. 232 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,334 Hey, Vern, looks like you're turning 233 00:09:03,422 --> 00:09:05,501 into quite the little shopper. 234 00:09:05,589 --> 00:09:06,649 Hey. 235 00:09:06,737 --> 00:09:08,086 I've already mowed the lawn. 236 00:09:08,259 --> 00:09:10,217 I know. Thanks for doing that. 237 00:09:11,613 --> 00:09:12,954 So what do you want? 238 00:09:13,324 --> 00:09:15,449 Well, I was thinking you and I could go grab a burger. 239 00:09:15,537 --> 00:09:16,753 Why? 240 00:09:17,191 --> 00:09:19,417 'Cause I thought it'd be a nice thing to do. 241 00:09:19,699 --> 00:09:21,092 Which restaurant? 242 00:09:21,252 --> 00:09:22,574 Why does it matter? 243 00:09:22,699 --> 00:09:24,043 Well, McDonald's burgers are fried, 244 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,699 and sometimes I like flame-broiled. 245 00:09:26,410 --> 00:09:28,535 Fine, we can go to Burger King. 246 00:09:28,885 --> 00:09:30,582 I don't like the fries at Burger King. 247 00:09:30,730 --> 00:09:31,962 Ooh, Arby's has 248 00:09:32,050 --> 00:09:33,019 those curly fries. 249 00:09:33,107 --> 00:09:34,847 Shoot, they don't have burgers. 250 00:09:35,496 --> 00:09:37,605 Then let's go to Whataburger. 251 00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:40,636 Okay, but I hope you're not this cranky the whole meal. 252 00:09:47,933 --> 00:09:49,316 So, 253 00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:51,473 we haven't really had a chance to talk much lately. 254 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,285 Why is it so hot in here? 255 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:54,785 AC's busted. 256 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:56,407 Why don't you get it fixed? 257 00:09:56,564 --> 00:09:58,855 'Cause I got better things to spend my money on. 258 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,433 Anyway, 259 00:10:01,698 --> 00:10:02,912 what I wanted to say 260 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:07,277 is, even though I'm not loving your attitude lately, 261 00:10:07,385 --> 00:10:09,462 I think it's great you got this job 262 00:10:09,613 --> 00:10:11,581 and y-you're doing so well at it. 263 00:10:13,628 --> 00:10:15,016 I'm proud of you. 264 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:16,870 All right. 265 00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:18,743 That's all you have to say? 266 00:10:18,846 --> 00:10:21,370 Well, maybe if I wasn't sweating my balls off, 267 00:10:21,457 --> 00:10:22,807 I could think of something else. 268 00:10:22,895 --> 00:10:24,505 Just stick your head out the window. 269 00:10:25,554 --> 00:10:27,589 If it's about money, I've got money. 270 00:10:28,984 --> 00:10:31,595 It can even be a loan if it makes you feel better. 271 00:10:33,254 --> 00:10:34,925 Don't you dare. 272 00:10:39,049 --> 00:10:41,276 You said you're proud of my job. I don't think you are. 273 00:10:41,364 --> 00:10:42,917 You know what? Forget lunch. 274 00:10:43,005 --> 00:10:44,135 Let's just go home. 275 00:10:44,223 --> 00:10:46,596 Smart. Save some money for your truck. 276 00:10:47,917 --> 00:10:49,143 That's it. 277 00:10:49,266 --> 00:10:50,971 You're walking. 278 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:58,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 279 00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:03,440 I had survived a perilous trip to the accessory store, 280 00:11:03,557 --> 00:11:07,768 but it turned out, the real accessory was me. 281 00:11:11,448 --> 00:11:13,245 I can't believe you stole. 282 00:11:13,362 --> 00:11:15,297 You walked out with it. You stole. 283 00:11:15,385 --> 00:11:16,868 Why would I steal glitter? 284 00:11:16,956 --> 00:11:18,876 I already have a sparkling personality. 285 00:11:18,964 --> 00:11:20,079 Tell it to the cops. 286 00:11:20,167 --> 00:11:21,917 Or your cellmate. 287 00:11:22,628 --> 00:11:25,182 You're so smart. Why are you acting like this? 288 00:11:25,315 --> 00:11:27,151 Maybe I don't want to be smart. 289 00:11:27,346 --> 00:11:28,643 I have to sit down. 290 00:11:29,768 --> 00:11:31,581 Being smart sucks. 291 00:11:31,940 --> 00:11:33,735 It's the reason we moved here from Arkansas, 292 00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:36,992 a-and my parents never yelled at each other before that. 293 00:11:37,971 --> 00:11:41,315 It's just... better to be normal. 294 00:11:41,479 --> 00:11:44,706 It works for me. But I also have good cheekbones. 295 00:11:51,902 --> 00:11:53,471 You swim here? 296 00:11:53,948 --> 00:11:56,729 Dad kicked me out of his truck. I had to walk back. 297 00:11:57,042 --> 00:11:59,219 What dumb thing did you say or do? 298 00:11:59,307 --> 00:12:01,745 How do you know I'm the one who did something dumb? 299 00:12:02,102 --> 00:12:03,907 'Cause you kind of shine at it. 300 00:12:03,995 --> 00:12:06,878 All I did is offer to pay to fix his AC. 301 00:12:07,174 --> 00:12:08,899 And there it is. Dumb. 302 00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:10,089 What's wrong with that? 303 00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:11,524 Your dad is a grown man. 304 00:12:11,612 --> 00:12:14,081 He doesn't want his kid giving him money. 305 00:12:14,314 --> 00:12:16,186 So he's glad I'm making money, 306 00:12:16,274 --> 00:12:18,542 but I'm not allowed to use that money to help him out? 307 00:12:18,644 --> 00:12:20,901 I don't get it. Well, someday, when you have 308 00:12:20,989 --> 00:12:24,089 a bunch of sweaty, mullet-headed kids running around, you will. 309 00:12:24,254 --> 00:12:26,675 Oh, I ain't never having kids. 310 00:12:27,237 --> 00:12:29,745 Well, that's the smartest thing I ever heard you say. 311 00:12:30,197 --> 00:12:31,503 Thank you. 312 00:12:39,990 --> 00:12:42,079 John Sturgis at your service. 313 00:12:42,198 --> 00:12:44,940 - Dr. Sturgis, Sheldon Cooper. - Hello, Sheldon. 314 00:12:45,028 --> 00:12:46,089 How are you doing? 315 00:12:46,177 --> 00:12:48,802 Confused, upset, annoyed, 316 00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:50,872 and potentially in trouble with the law. 317 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,239 Well, in which order would you like to handle this? 318 00:12:54,327 --> 00:12:55,591 Let's start with confused, 319 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:57,817 but if we hear sirens approaching, we'll jump ahead. 320 00:12:57,982 --> 00:13:00,115 Great. What's on your mind? 321 00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:02,333 Do you ever wish that you weren't smart? 322 00:13:02,484 --> 00:13:05,637 So I would be short, lonely and stupid? 323 00:13:05,725 --> 00:13:07,465 No, that seems worse. 324 00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:08,816 Why do you ask? 325 00:13:09,076 --> 00:13:10,559 Do you remember Paige? 326 00:13:10,647 --> 00:13:12,562 Of course, brilliant little girl. 327 00:13:12,671 --> 00:13:14,325 I know, but she says that she doesn't 328 00:13:14,413 --> 00:13:15,880 want to be smart anymore. 329 00:13:15,968 --> 00:13:20,106 Well, perhaps she's experiencing some sort of identity crisis. 330 00:13:20,194 --> 00:13:23,161 Is it possible her ex is dating someone 331 00:13:23,249 --> 00:13:26,872 who seems better for her in every imaginable way? 332 00:13:27,566 --> 00:13:28,809 I'm confused. 333 00:13:28,897 --> 00:13:30,130 So am I. 334 00:13:30,381 --> 00:13:33,794 How do I make her understand that being smart is the best? 335 00:13:34,668 --> 00:13:36,394 Might I suggest, 336 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,106 instead of trying to fix her problem, 337 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,075 you just listen? 338 00:13:41,163 --> 00:13:44,320 When I was in the psychiatric ward, I learned that people 339 00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:48,880 who are struggling emotionally often just need to be heard. 340 00:13:49,817 --> 00:13:51,161 Hmm. 341 00:13:51,249 --> 00:13:53,598 Sounds difficult, but I suppose I could try. 342 00:13:53,803 --> 00:13:55,981 Another thing I learned in the hospital is that 343 00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,762 some people believe there are weird mole men 344 00:13:58,849 --> 00:14:01,778 living in tunnels deep inside the earth. 345 00:14:02,404 --> 00:14:04,559 Well, this has been mostly helpful. 346 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,637 And you're mostly welcome. 347 00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:13,961 You made it. 348 00:14:14,049 --> 00:14:15,466 Yeah, I made it. 349 00:14:22,997 --> 00:14:24,356 Sorry. 350 00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:28,372 No problem. 351 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:35,411 Ow. 352 00:14:36,192 --> 00:14:39,552 Ow. Is there a way to do this so it doesn't hurt? 353 00:14:39,735 --> 00:14:41,650 No. Beauty is pain. 354 00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:44,262 Boy George must really suffer. 355 00:14:44,738 --> 00:14:46,592 Missy, I need a moment with Paige. 356 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:47,745 Make it quick. 357 00:14:47,833 --> 00:14:49,473 I'm only half-beautiful. 358 00:14:53,916 --> 00:14:55,137 Yeah? 359 00:14:55,340 --> 00:14:56,421 I'm listening. 360 00:14:56,509 --> 00:14:57,525 To what? 361 00:14:57,613 --> 00:14:58,745 To you. 362 00:14:58,833 --> 00:14:59,919 I'm not saying anything. 363 00:15:00,007 --> 00:15:02,270 Well, if you wanted to say anything, I'd be listening. 364 00:15:03,231 --> 00:15:04,549 But I don't want to say anything. 365 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,720 And I don't want to be listening, but here we are. 366 00:15:07,056 --> 00:15:08,465 Are you feeling better yet? 367 00:15:09,137 --> 00:15:12,524 You're being weird, and not in the usual way. 368 00:15:15,257 --> 00:15:16,899 Guess that's my life now. 369 00:15:17,311 --> 00:15:18,704 What do you mean? 370 00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:23,071 Everyone is acting weird. 371 00:15:23,727 --> 00:15:25,524 My mom is going on dates 372 00:15:25,612 --> 00:15:28,360 and, my dad is acting like a child. 373 00:15:28,571 --> 00:15:30,915 My sister's crying all the time. 374 00:15:33,054 --> 00:15:34,268 I just 375 00:15:34,586 --> 00:15:38,212 wish... that everything could go back to the way it was. 376 00:15:40,110 --> 00:15:41,962 I don't think it will. 377 00:15:43,231 --> 00:15:46,062 It turned out I was really good at listening. 378 00:15:46,173 --> 00:15:50,618 The trick is to sit there, and when you want to leave, don't. 379 00:15:51,078 --> 00:15:54,331 I have to live in two separate houses. 380 00:15:54,743 --> 00:15:58,243 And my grandma says the meanest things about my dad. 381 00:15:59,336 --> 00:16:02,006 I know that everyone is upset 382 00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:03,923 that I'm not doing well in school. 383 00:16:04,204 --> 00:16:07,571 It's just hard to care. 384 00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:12,829 Everything that used to seem important to me 385 00:16:13,446 --> 00:16:17,363 just... doesn't anymore. 386 00:16:19,618 --> 00:16:24,446 So I guess, really, I just feel alone. 387 00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:30,573 That sounds hard. 388 00:16:31,462 --> 00:16:34,196 Yeah... it is. 389 00:16:34,313 --> 00:16:36,217 Dr. Sturgis was right. 390 00:16:36,305 --> 00:16:40,514 There was nothing I could do to fix this, or so I thought. 391 00:16:40,602 --> 00:16:42,642 Can I offer you a hot beverage? 392 00:16:44,118 --> 00:16:45,759 That would be nice. 393 00:16:46,523 --> 00:16:47,899 Be right back. 394 00:16:49,213 --> 00:16:51,204 The "Hot Beverage of Comfort" 395 00:16:51,292 --> 00:16:52,930 would become my go-to method 396 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,437 of dealing with someone in emotional distress. 397 00:16:55,634 --> 00:16:57,555 And it always worked. 398 00:16:57,712 --> 00:16:59,819 Except when my wife was in labor, 399 00:16:59,907 --> 00:17:03,126 where it was suggested I throw it in my own face. 400 00:17:07,739 --> 00:17:10,266 - What you doing? - Paige is feeling sad, 401 00:17:10,354 --> 00:17:12,344 so I'm making her a hot beverage. 402 00:17:12,776 --> 00:17:14,704 Oh. You're a good kid. 403 00:17:17,486 --> 00:17:18,891 I'm proud of you. 404 00:17:20,870 --> 00:17:22,032 Thank you. 405 00:17:22,273 --> 00:17:23,985 Of all my accomplishments, 406 00:17:24,073 --> 00:17:26,579 I don't know why he singled this moment out, 407 00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:28,235 but I'm glad he did. 408 00:17:29,196 --> 00:17:30,485 Sup? 409 00:17:30,605 --> 00:17:34,914 ♪ I sparkle ♪ 410 00:17:35,002 --> 00:17:37,918 ♪ Loving the way that I do ♪ 411 00:17:38,142 --> 00:17:40,492 ♪ It is true ♪ 412 00:17:40,579 --> 00:17:43,163 ♪ I feel so good ♪ 413 00:17:43,251 --> 00:17:46,477 ♪ Just having you ♪ 414 00:17:46,610 --> 00:17:51,242 ♪ Breathlessly ♪ Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 415 00:17:51,329 --> 00:17:54,821 ♪ And eager ♪ Sync corrections by srjanapala 416 00:17:54,985 --> 00:17:56,243 ♪ Submission isn't easy. ♪ 417 00:17:59,598 --> 00:18:00,904 Captioning sponsored by CBS 418 00:18:00,991 --> 00:18:02,514 WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 419 00:18:02,601 --> 00:18:04,761 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 419 00:18:05,305 --> 00:18:11,680 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 30626

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