All language subtitles for The Wild Wild West - 03x01 - The Night of the Bubbling Death.Unspecified.English.updated.Addic7ed.com

Oh, dear.

Th-this seems
rather unwise, Mr. West.

Why don't we wait until-

Mr. Grigsby,
we're wasting time.

A Welcoming delegation.
Panhandle Strip style.

All right, hold it.

I said hold it!

I never thought
I'd live to see the day

a federal man would dare
to show his face

in the Panhandle Strip.

Move on, friend.

Oh, no.

Not until
I ventilate your hide.

Get down off that horse.

Hey!

I told you to move,
mister.

Hello, James.

Nothing special,
just mind your manners

around a big man
named "Cartwheel."

Thanks, Artie.

Hey, you with
the fancy specs,

you trying to rattle me?

I-I'm sorry. I-I certainly
didn't mean to.

Sorry ain't good enough
for me, mister.

Sir, the man apologized.

Maybe Vance ain't in no
apology-accepting mood.

Now if you gentlemen
just take your hats off

and bow respectfully,

that just might
soothe old Vance.

Some other time, fella.

Clint.

Welcome to Panhandle,
Mr. West.

Mr. West!

You and your friend
are here on official business.

Besides, you're
a day late as it is.

Took a slow train.

We're waiting, Mr. West.

Some other time...
fella.

Give me the gun.

There's a Gatling gun
in my left boot.

Here we are,
arm in arm.

I don't even
know your name,

but I'll never forget
the fragrance of your perfume.

Clint.

I never cared for
the smell of acid.

You may remove
your blindfolds, gentlemen.

Well, it's
Mr. Silas Grigsby,

the celebrated curator
of the United States Archives.

We're honored...

and delighted at your
choice of expert, Mr. West.

Uh, where is the document?

If-if I may be permitted
to touch the actual surface?

Well?

Oh, genuine.

It's quite genuine,
Mr. West.

There's no question.

That is the constitution
of the United States.

Why, thank you,
Mr. Grigsby.

What is it you want
for its return?

For myself, nothing,
but for my country-

Your country?

Size is no yardstick of
a country's greatness, Mr. West.

Panhandle Strip is more than
a modest parcel of territory,

for whose sovereignty
your country

and Mexico are contending.

It is a national entity

with a great sense
of national purpose.

Exactly
what are your terms?

Very well.

They are as follows:

one, your country
will immediately

cease negotiations
with Mexico.

Two, your country will
immediately recognize

Panhandle Strip
as a sovereign enclave,

situated between the borders
of the two nations.

I can hardly wait
for number three.

A gift of gold bullion
in the amount of $1 million.

You, Mr. West,

will communicate our terms
to President Grant.

You, Mr. Grigsby,
will remain with us.

What?

B-but why?
You have the constitution.

Yes, but you see,

Mr. West might dawdle
in presenting my terms.

If he doesn't reappear
with the money,

you will be punished
appropriately.

Uh, p-please, m-my influence-
I-I can do you much more...

good.

Uh, Mr. West, don't let them
do this, please.

I'm sorry, sir,
but under the circumstances,

we have no choice.

You're going to get
your little tattoo job, West.

Free of charge, for nothing.

Without cost.

This must be my lucky day.

You're going to be walking proof
that we mean business.

Hold it right there,
partner.

What do you want?

I want a crack
at that coyote there.

No.

He's mine.

I'll give you $20 for him...
American.

What makes him
worth money to you?

I spent five years
rotting in a jailhouse

because of that...

All I want
is five minutes with him.

Make it $50.

But don't kill him,
you hear?

Not a chance.

All I wanna do is make sure
I give old West here...

an old-fashioned
Laredo rubdown.

All set, West?

Ready to bleed? Huh?

One...

two...

three!

Yahh, boy!

Yah!

Yah!

Don't suppose
you were able to find out

who's behind all this?

Course I was.

His name's Victor Freemantle.

A year ago, he fired
three badly aimed shots

at the president
of Argentina.

Six months ago,

he led an abortive
revolution in Venezuela.

Future plans include
annexation of Texas

and Baja California.

Sounds like you could
write a book about him.

Well, he likes girls,
and girls like to talk.

Yeah. From what I saw,
he has good taste.

You're talking
about Carlotta Waters.

Lovely, but lethal.

Artie, what do you know
about this place?

Aesthetically, historically,
or architecturally?

All of it, Artie.

Historically,

it was built by
the conquistadors in 1557.

At one time,
it held more gold

than the United States Treasury.

Aesthetically, terrible.

It's got more dungeons,
passageways and vaults

than the Tower of London.

Architecturally,

it's as perfect a mixture
of Herrera, Baroque,

and Mexican Colonial as
you're likely to find anywhere.

Well...

I went in this door,

Mm-hmm.

and down this corridor
for 22 steps.

Then a 90-degree turn,
26 more steps,

and then down these stairs
to an elevator.

Elevator?

The only place they could
possibly have built that

would have been
the old mine shaft.

Yeah.

See?

Then what?

Well, they, uh...

unfortunately,
they spun me around.

That was it.

I don't know
where I went from there.

You mean you lost
all sense of direction?

Mm-hmm. That makes it
a little bit awkward,

don't you think?

We're just gonna
have to go through

every single one of them.

And stay out.

Hey, Brad,
you got competition.

Batten down
the hatches, mate.

Looks like
stormy weather ahead.

Come on, boys.

Very good evening
to you, sir.

Traveling groggery.

Does that mean all the whiskey
you can drink for 50 cents?

Oh, oh, yes, indeed, sir.
Yes, the very finest.

Pima, you remember
what we did

to that last
whiskey salesman

who went into competition
with us?

A-and that, sir,
if you please,

is not merely your average,

run-of-the-mill redeye
or rotgut, as it were,

but, uh, that,
th-that is, uh...

that, th-that is, uh...

uh...

Th-that...

E-e-excuse me, sir,

but your torch is getting
just a mite close

to the canvas
of my wagon there.

Yep.

Well, I hope
that you don't mind...

Uhh, now, as I was saying,

before the danger
of combustion arose,

I represent a line
of peerless-

No, indeed, let me say
superior merchandise which...

All right,
all right, all right!

Okay, all right!

We had us a good laugh.

Now you, turn your rig around
and drive on out.

Oh, s-sir, please,
you don't understand.

All this is merely
to introduce

a new line of refreshment

which will have people
from miles around

flocking to your emporium.

Well, I don't buy nothing
without I taste it first.

I thought you'd never ask.

Well, that seems like
a fair request to me, sir.

Now, sir, prepare yourself
for a rare experience.

Sir!

All right, little friend,

you wanna explain
what happened?

I-I-I'm terribly
sorry, sir.

That bottle must have
gone bad on me.

All right, I'll take another
one of those bottles.

Oh, of course, of course.

I-I just don't
understand that, sir.

Now, I-I'm sure
that you'll find

that this bottle
is infinitely superior

to the other one-

You taste it first.

But I-I have been trying
to explain to you

Mr., uh, Mr. Big Brass Bar,
that as a member

of the Wichita
Temperance League,

I couldn't poss-

Drink it
or get ventilated.

Y-yes, sir.
Of course. Course.

I'll be happy to drink it.

There's - uh, i-it's
marvelous merchandise.

As a matter of fact,
I have great b-belief in...

Boys, shoot him!

Hold it, hold it, hold it!
That's enough.

Artie,
why stand on ceremony?

Just not used to coming
through the front door,

that's all.

Move away
from that window, please.

I was all wrong.

The boots,
the riding crop...

you were made to wear silk.

And you were made for
a form-fitting pine box.

You wouldn't
be silly enough

to think
I wouldn't shoot, I hope.

No, I would never jump
to that conclusion.

Carlotta?

You wouldn't
be silly enough

to think I wouldn't shoot,
I hope.

You're dressing.

I'm dressing, Victor.

There's been some ridiculous
disturbance in the square.

You'd better stay
in your room.

All right, Victor.

Excellent performance.
My compliments.

Maybe it wasn't
a performance.

Maybe I am different
when I wear silk.

That's too bad, because you're
going to have to get used to

wearing prison denim
for a long time to come.

You're not going to send
me to prison, Mr. West...

not with all the help
I can give you.

You'd sell out Victor?

A girl's got to
look out for herself.

Besides,
I've known all along

that when the government
moved in, bye-bye Victor.

A couple of questions,

where are they
holding Grigsby?

Victor hasn't told anyone.

But you could find out.

Make it worth my while,
and I'll do better than that.

I'll deliver him to you.

at the foot of the elevator,

there are four passageways.

Which one do I take?

The one on the right.

You better do
as your boyfriend says

and stay in your room.

Mr. West...

he's not my boyfriend.

Did you see that?

Like I told you,
never trust a woman.

Well, the story
of my life,

I touch them
and they faint.

Artie, how long
will that stuff hold her?

About an hour,
give or take.

Poor Carlotta
has a drinking problem.

Mr. Cartwheel?
Did you find anything?

Nothing.

You're too jumpy,
Mr. Cartwheel.

Like I told you,

this thing is going
to come off real easy.

Come on.

Oh, that's cute.

Shaft turns,
this must coil.

Yeah.
Five'll get you ten

something goes
ding-dong upstairs.

Yeah, that takes care of
the other elevator.

That's not good, Jim.

Carlotta's going to be
coming out of that

in a little while.

Here.

Carlotta?

Are you asleep?

After you.

Thank you, Artie.

Artie, Carlotta says
to the right.

Then may I suggest
left or center

or even straight up?

I don't think so.

She tried to shoot you.

How can you believe
a word she said?

I don't, you wanna go left?

No, no, no.
Let's go right. Right.

Let's go.

Should be getting close.

Yeah,
if it's the right path.

Was it there?

It was there.

What is it?

Remember
that whiskey drummer

that made a monkey
out of Brad Logan?

Go on.

He's the same one
who helped West escape.

Of course.
Mr. West has a partner.

And I guess we know
where we'll find them both.

That parchment's
been cleverly treated.

But it's a forgery,
all right.

We went to a lot of trouble
for a fake constitution, huh?

My sympathies,
Mr. West.

I rather imagine this is
the many-faced Mr. Gordon.

Oh, spare me
your compliments, please.

I'm sorry your heroics
were in vain, gentlemen,

but you see, the purpose

of this rather elaborate
little subterfuge

was not the concealment
of a precious document,

but rather, the ensnarement

of those who would lay
larcenous hands upon it.

A Freemantle's mousetrap.

And you, Mr. Gordon,
are holding the cheese.

I know this must sound
terribly naive,

but you do have
the original, don't you?

Of course I do...
as Mr. West will attest.

You know, Jim, it's probably
in the most obvious place

we can imagine.

Why, Mr. Gordon,
that's quite bright.

Quite bright.

It's where milady fair
can stare at it for hours.

I'm impressed.
How about you, Artie?

Very.

Nothing.

He said it was something

milady fair
could look at for hours.

It's the real thing,
all right.

Give me a hand with this coat,
will you, Jim?

You going to slip into
something more comfortable?

Yeah, my smoking jacket.

Artie,
telegraph Washington

and tell them we've got
the constitution.

Right. What about you?

I'm going back for Grigsby.

Won't be necessary, Jim.

Gentlemen,

I owe a great deal
to this young lady.

If it hadn't been for her,

I'd still be in that,
that slimy dungeon.

I told you
I'd deliver him, didn't I?

You certainly did,
Carlotta, yes.

As you remember,
we were talking a deal.

Never mind that,
young lady.

I'll guarantee you
immunity from prosecution.

Now, gentlemen,
what about the constitution?

Oh, you'll be
most pleased to learn

that we have it
right here, sir.

May I see it, please?

Of course.

The President will be
most grateful when...

but, but this is
the forgery.

That's curious.

That's the one
you said was authentic.

We want the real one.

Immediately.

Jim, do you kind of
have the feeling

that these two
are old friends?

At the count of three,
gentlemen.

Well, if you can shoot
like you can kiss,

I'm in real trouble.

It's in
a secret compartment.

No.

No, you don't.
You get it, Silas.

Mr. West.

You'd better let me.
It's a little tricky.

Yes. You see, Mr. Grigsby,

unless you turn
that knob just so,

you're going to be dead
before you hit the floor.

Really?

Uh-huh.

You're frightening me,
gentlemen.

There.

Ah, that ought to do it.

Got it all set for you.

That's it.

What you got
in the box, anyway?

A model of the Taj Mahal.
Guard it with your life.

Can you manage?

Yeah.

Thank you very much.

Hello there, Arabella.
Welcome home, sweet baby.

Well, a little message.

Ah, what good news

did Arabella bring us
this time?

It's on the mantle.
You tell me.

The congress just ceded
the Panhandle Strip to Mexico.

Oh, poor Mexico.

Two companies
of Mexican soldiers

on their way to Monterey
right now.

Well, a soldier's life

was never an easy one,
James.

Oh, Grigsby's the real loser.

How so?

Oh, curator of the National
Archives for 20 years.

Twenty years of loyal service.

He just got tired
of recording history

and decided to make
a little of his own.

Artie, is the women's
penitentiary in Texas

in Waco or in Houston?

Why?

Oh, because I promised
to write Carlotta a letter.