All language subtitles for The Wild Wild West - 01x18 - The Night of the Grand Emir.Unspecified.English.updated.Addic7ed.com

There's your
man, West,

the turbaned one
at ringside.

How could we miss him?

Oh, how could
anybody miss him?

What a target.

Look, Mr. Drapeau,

if the government wants
us to protect him,

shouldn't we get
him out of here-

some quieter
entertainment?

No chance.

He's a very
important visitor.

He's free to come
and go as he chooses.

Wonderful.

Oh, it's
not so bad.

He's due in the hospital tomorrow morning.

All we've got to do
is make sure

that nobody puts a
bullet in him before then.

Yeah, well,
that's your problem.

And, uh, good luck,
gentlemen.

Thank you.

You heard the man,
Artemus,

that's our problem.

Mr. West!

And Mr. Gordon.

Well, well, well.

What are you
doing here, T.?

The same thing I assume that
both you gentlemen are doing-

my job.

Meaning?

The emir, of course.

Oh, you're not going to pretend

that you're not here
to look after him.

Mmm.

Well, if you'll
excuse us.

Not a chance.

You see,
there must be

at least 100 expatriates
in this town alone

that would like to see
the emir eliminated.

When that happens, I'm going
to make sure that I'm on hand.

Maybe if we're lucky,
you'll stop the bullet.

Every profession has
its risks, Mr. West.

May I introduce
myself, Your Highness?

I am T. Wiggett Jones,
society feature writer.

And may I also introduce
Mr. West and Mr. Gordon,

representatives of the
United States Government?

Oh, Secret Service, huh?

You're concerned about my life.

Just being
careful, sir.

Sit down, please.

Thank you,
Your Highness.

Gentlemen, there have been so
many attempts to assassinate me,

I no longer concern
myself over that.

But since you're already here,
you might as well remain, hmm?

I want one.

I want one!

Hurt anything?

I don't think so.

Did you expect me
to anticipate

somebody knowing
about that garter

and being prepared
to catch it?

No.

You did your best.

I'm not being fair
to you, Ecstasy.

It's just that
I had such plans...

and El Emid still lives.

There'll be
another time, and...

What's the meaning
of this?

I'll tell you
right now.

Both of you
keep your hands

where I
can see them.

Are you robbing us?

No, I'm arresting you.

Tell the driver to pull over.

Anything for
so handsome an intruder.

Oh, I'm sorry,
my ring scratched you.

I'll survive it.

You may...
and you may not.

Who is he?

He's the one
who caught the garter.

How could he have known?

Too bad
you can't ask him.

But I will... now
that he's our guest.

Mr. West...

Your vision will improve
in a moment.

Be patient.

We placed you under
restraint, Mr. West.

It seemed
the best thing to do

when we discovered
your credentials.

Who are you?

Oh, forgive me.

I am Dr. Mohammed Bey.

And, while I'm observing
the amenities,

the young lady is
Miss Ecstasy La Joie.

Ecstasy.

Under other
circumstances,

it would be
a pleasure.

I was thinking
the same thing.

But, uh, we can't have
everything, can we?

"Bey"...

I've heard of you.

You were granted
political asylum

by the United States

when you were exiled
by the emir.

Is that how you repay your debt?

You have seen
Emir El Emid.

Can you
imagine him

as the absolute ruler
of your country?

Sic him, Doc.

If one man dies

so that thousands-
millions- may be healed,

in my opinion, that is
good medical practice.

I'm glad you're not my doctor.

Ah, but that's
where you're wrong.

He is your doctor.

Wait till you
get his bill.

I must know
how you were able

to intercept my little
gift for El Emid.

How did you know

it was
an explosive device?

I didn't.

Well, then why did
you catch my garter?

I don't take chances with lives
I'm supposed to protect.

Unfortunate,
isn't it?

Your personal code
is more reckless.

I don't like
your answer, Mr. West.

But we'll give you an
opportunity to revise it.

Tell me, who
informed you?

This is a part
of the violent ward

of my hospital,
Mr. West.

The walls are
solid stone.

Sometimes
it is necessary

to place the violently
disturbed in traction.

It is
my great good fortune

that the enemy
of my people

has been forced
to come to this country.

If it costs
my life,

I cannot allow
such an opportunity to pass.

If this position proves
beneficial to your recall,

Mr. West, there will be
a guard outside the door.

He will get
word to me.

We don't have to be idle while
Mr. West faces his decision.

We have a new weapon...

at which Ecstasy
must become proficient.

That's one way
to do it.

Now, let me
show you another.

Let's assume that statue
on the left is El Emid.

With a little work,

you will be as good
a marksman as I, Ecstasy.

I'll try.

Now, use the statue
on the right.

Hold it normally,
as you would in the dance,

then snap
with the wrist so.

But you must be careful
of the cutting edge.

Aw, I'm afraid it's
too much for her.

Nonsense.

I'm sorry to be
such a disappointment

to you, Doctor.

It'll be perfectly
all right, my dear,

just practice.

Now remember,
don't let go

until you will be
pointing at the statue.

Now try it.

Perhaps I can get
it across to her.

May I, please?

Now, watch me.

Is something wrong?

I was beginning
to wonder about you-

whether you
really belonged

in the Society
of Assassins.

I'd have killed him myself, I...

I just didn't think
it had to be done that way.

I don't think it matters
to him anymore, do you?

All right, we've
done our work here.

Let's get out.

Guard!

Yeah?

You ready
to talk?

Mr. West!

What do you think you're doing?

What I'm paid to do:

I'm protecting
your life.

This is absurd!

The only way this lovely
creature could endanger my life

would be by giving it
too much pleasure.

Really, James,
you did spoil the best part

of the young
lady's dance.

The best part?

You are a very naughty creature.

We only have West's word

that she meant to throw
the tambourine at you.

Yes, that's right.

If you like, you can just
think of the tambourine

as a defensive weapon.

Of course.

A creature must be able
to defend herself.

Some evil man might try
to take advantage of her.

And who could blame him?

He wouldn't live long enough to be blamed.

Oh, really, James,

you are assuming
a great deal.

Really?

She's only tried to kill
the emir twice in one evening.

Is this true?

Well, everyone has an
off night occasionally.

But this is fabulous-

in this one female
creature, so much talent.

She is not only
expert Egyptian dancer;

she also can-canner.

How precious!

You must join us
for dinner tonight,

my lovely one.

She tries to kill you
and you invite her to dinner?

Why not?

The element of risk
will add considerable spice

to our relationship.

After all, is it not
the selfsame element of danger

that's makes your job
so exciting?

Sure.

Well, in that case,
perhaps you had better stay.

I'll be back as soon
as I change clothes.

Oh, don't hurry, Mr. West.

Please, don't hurry.

You better keep
an eye on her.

Oh, that's going to be
a tough assignment,

James, my boy.

It just may be tougher
than you think.

Oh, listen, I, uh,
put our luggage

in one of the rooms
down the hall.

Here's the key.

Thanks.

And now, I insist
we all drink a toast

to the charms
of this most beautiful

and talented young lady.

Does everyone have
a glass?

Everyone but Mr. Gordon.

My water, please.

To Miss La Joie...

the most exciting
young person

I have yet met
in this country.

To Miss
La Joie.

Ah...

Let go of me!

You just never
give up, do you?

Take your hands
off me.

I'm afraid I'll have to take
you with me, young woman-

if you don't mind.

Well, nice of you gentlemen
to happen along.

Really?

We'll take that,
if you don't mind.

Oh, of course.

There you are.

All right,
get the emir.

You, bring
the girl.

Artemus?

Come on, buddy.

Hey, Jim.

Hey, what are you
trying to do, drown me?

Ooh, that
water's cold.

You sure
about that?

Why don't you just dump
the whole ice bucket on me

while you're
about it?

I was thinking
about it.

What happened here?

Oh, I wish I knew.

The emir proposed a toast
to Ecstasy,

which everybody drank
except me.

And Ecstasy.

Uh-huh.

After the musicians
and servants took off,

Ecstasy went after the emir
with a knife.

I stopped her.

You take care of him,
I'll look around.

I'm surprised you trust me
to look after myself.

Yes, I know the feeling well, friend.

It should be illegal...

to feel this rotten
and not have

a variety of loathsome
memories to cherish.

I agree.

No signs
of anyone around-

cooks, servants,
all gone.

Frankly, gentlemen,
I'm surprised at El Emid.

I can't imagine
him being guilty

of such shabby treatment
of his guests.

I hardly think

he was responsible
for the hospitality.

Trying times, gentlemen.

Oh.

Perhaps we could all use
a splash of... solace.

Uh, no, thank you,

I've just taken
the pledge.

Ah...

Better.

Perhaps now I can face

the frigid blasts
of outrageous fortune.

Be toddling along

if I can be of
no further assistance.

We'll see you
off, T.

Don't bother.

My carriage is
waiting, I'm sure.

Oh, no bother.

Good night, gentlemen.

I trust your luck improves
as the evening wears on.

There's only one
direction it can go.

Good night, T.

There goes either
a very bad liar

or one of the original
iron stomachs

of all time.

I agree with you,
Artemus.

Any man who can
put down champagne

on a drug hangover
isn't human.

How long before
the tape wears out?

Long enough for us
to get our horses

and keep Mr. T. Wiggett
Jones in sight

on his night ride
wherever it takes him.

My...

that Jones certainly
took a ride for himself,

didn't he?

We must be ten miles
outside the city.

We'd better leave
the horses here.

Right.

Hey, Jim...

what if this place is
completely legitimate?

I mean, somebody's
country home-

it could even
be Jones's.

You know, I understand
he's a very wealthy man.

If it is Jones,

he's going to
a lot of trouble

to ensure his privacy.

An honest citizen has
armed guards at the gate?

Ah, that is
a little antisocial.

Keep your eyes
open, Artemus,

I'm going
over that wall.

Right.

Ecstasy.

It seems we have
an intruder

coming over
the north wall.

Any volunteers?

I propose
we send George.

That's a marvelous idea.

Yes, how's about it,
George?

Well, I'm sure
you all find

the picture of
poor old George

waddling and wheezing
around the grounds

in the middle
of the night

highly amusing,

but, uh, sorry
to disappoint you.

These athletic kills

are not
my cup of tea.

Oh, dear.

I'll go.

500 says I'll do it
in one minute.

I'll cover that.

Go.

A very wild bet-

he can't do it
in a minute.

Clay's never
lost a bet yet.

Clay was one of
our most capable members.

We'll send a team this time.

No.

If my suspicions are correct...

this problem requires
the entire membership.

I suggest we deploy ourselves accordingly.

Inside?

If I'm not badly mistaken,

our intruder will
not be satisfied

until he finds out
what's going on here.

One more move,

you're going to look
just like a porcupine.

Jim!

Why didn't you
present yourself

at the front gate?

Perhaps your reception, uh,
wouldn't have been so exciting,

but it would
have been warm.

Uh, you may resume

your regular activities,
gentlemen, ladies.

Jim, you were magnificent.

It may interest you
to know

that no one has ever
gotten this far before,

and quite
a number have tried.

Let's go
into my study.

Perhaps we
can find a drink

to refresh
the inner man

after your
strenuous reception.

So calm about
my being here-

were you
expecting me?

Of course.

You and Artemus
would have been

a shattering
disappointment

if you both failed
to suspect me.

I didn't really need
that drink, you know.

Would you like
a drink?

No, thank you.

Then be seated,
please.

No, thanks.

I like
to keep moving.

Oh...

You fear the chair
might be a trap.

So it might be!

It does pay
to be cautious, James.

That is only one of your
many admirable qualities.

By the way,
what about Artemus?

He did ride out here
with you, of course.

No, I came alone.

What kind of a host would I be
if I called you a liar?

We shall be absolutely
numb with surprise

when Artemus makes
his appearance.

Why should he?

When, after a reasonable time,
you fail to rejoin him,

won't he become...
concerned?

And, James,
in that context,

as difficult as you found it
to break in here,

I must warn you,

you'll find it impossible
to break out.

I'm sure
I'm being watched.

All the time.

And as long
as you know that,

we may as well
join the others.

You shouldn't do that.

Why not?

I'm very susceptible.

I might begin
to enjoy it.

I might even fall
in love with you.

Right now, I'd settle

for a warm and understanding friendship.

Then you're playing
the wrong game

by the wrong rules.

Well, we could
start over again

with a handshake.

We can't be friends.

You should know
that by now.

I was afraid
you'd say that.

Is there any reason

we can't make the most
out of being enemies?

Enemies forever.

Forever.

Ecstasy, my sweet,
and James,

you look
so splendid together

it pains me to separate you
for even a moment.

However, El Emir
has arrived

and has requested you do
a dance for him, Ecstasy.

I don't mind.

If Mr. West
will permit the emir

to take a chance
like that.

I might, if you
can think of a dance

where her hands
are empty

and visible
at all times.

Come, James.

Shall we find
a better vantage point?

Remarkable
young woman.

Mmm, remarkable.

Ol�!

Bravo!

Ol�!

Toro!

Ol�!

Toro!

James, we must talk.

Hmm?

Sorry to tear you
away like this.

Ol�!

I can imagine you
have some questions.

One or two.

What is all this?

A very exclusive
club, James.

We number only
the finest families

among our members.

And you get together
once a week

for fun and games.

We also entertain
our guests here.

Yes, indeed.

But aren't you afraid
of overdoing it?

Oh, El Emid has truly
a heroic capacity

for being entertained.

And we can't have him
becoming bored.

He might wish to leave.

He can't leave.

Is that the point?

Well, we'd
prefer he didn't-

at least until
we receive a message

from our bank in Switzerland.

You mean that you're holding
the emir of the Ottoman Empire

for ransom?

Oh, no, James.

We're keeping him here
as our... honored guest.

Shall we say...

as collateral?

The most important question
remains unasked.

I'm afraid to ask.

That's not like you.

However,
I shall consider it asked.

We call this
the Assassins' Club.

I had a feeling this wasn't

the Wednesday Afternoon
Whist Society.

Charming.

Since this is
an assassins' club,

I suppose it wouldn't be
gauche of me to ask

how many people you've
assassinated lately.

Oh, not at all.

14 important figures
died tonight,

in all parts
of the world.

You encountered
one of them, I believe,

Dr. Mohammed Bey.

Within a month,
they would have led

an armed revolt against El Emid.

We can't have that.

You mean you've killed
14 people in one night?

We are well organized.

How much has this
set El Emid back?

Well, nothing.

You see, El Emid
is our collateral.

For what?

Something El Emid possesses
in vast supply- desert.

140 square miles
of empty, sun-baked sand.

It sounds like
too good a bargain.

Where is this little
piece of desert

he's deeding
to you?

It crosses the Isthmus of Suez.

And the Suez Canal Company
will have to buy

this wasteland from you
at your price.

It's not for sale, James.

However, we will lease it...
on our terms.

Now I get the picture-
a simple business transaction.

A little
bloody...

but simple.

Please, for one moment,
balance those 14 deaths

against the slaughter that
would certainly have happened

in the wake of a revolution.

And now I understand
this celebration.

May I ask why I'm still alive?

To put it simply and directly,

you are here because...

we want you in the club.

Uh, think about it.

I don't have to.

You're being impulsive.

I ask you to think.

You regularly kill in the
service of your country.

We pay better;

the working conditions-
you had a sampling tonight.

Save it, T.,
I'm not interested.

Uh, allow me
one final word of reason.

Our work,
the assassinations...

surely you have
the sophistication

to understand that if we
didn't provide this service,

someone else would.

You're not
selling anything.

I'm sorry to hear that.

We'd looked forward

to your truly exceptional
talents working for us.

Needless to say, we...
can't allow those talents

to be employed against us.

Needless to say.

You may join the others

while we decide
what to do about you.

Oh... James,

hopefully
you'll reconsider.

Oh, no, I promise.

I won't press any buttons.

Get the cage.

I trust you won't be
too uncomfortable, West.

However, Christopher
will be watching you.

One move and he'll
drop this panel.

That cuts off
your air.

It also activates
a deadly gas

when these two components come together.

It may lead you to
reconsider your decision.

What are you doing here?

Look, I have orders

to shoot anyone
who enters this room.

I have orders, too.

T. decided that you might be
getting a little bored.

You might even
get sleepy

with nothing
to do

and no one
to talk to.

Oh, really?

Well, why didn't they
send another man

in that case, hmm?

Complaints-
always complaints.

Is there any reason
we can't be comfortable?

No, I'm going to find out
about this right away.

Ecstasy, what are
you doing?

That should be
obvious- hurry.

Jim, you're
wasting time.

What should I
be doing?

Getting away.

I took a big chance
coming here to help you.

Why break the rules for me?

Maybe because... I've taken more
than a passing interest in you.

T. told me that Dr. Bey
and 13 of his colleagues

were assassinated tonight.

You and your friend
over there

were with
the good doctor.

Did you kill him?

No, they did.

Or at least Christopher

did it for them
with his tambourine.

I couldn't stop it.

I even had to pretend I approved

so they'd think
I was one of them.

You know,
the more you talk,

the more confused
I become.

I don't know
whose side you're on-

excluding,
of course, your own.

Dr. Bey...
was good to me...

and he was honest.

He believed the only way

to help the people
of his country

was to kill El Emir.

So you're going to carry out
what he started.

That's right.

Well, if you're determined,

I... suppose there's
nothing I can do about it.

On the other hand,
there's the distinct possibility

that we may never see
each other again.

In that event,

I think
I'm entitled

to say good-bye
to you properly.

Sorry, but you're far
too pretty a girl

to go around
killing people.

Well, who
have we here?

Hussein Bin Hocar,

grand vizier to His Highness Emir El Emid.

I must speak with
His Highness at once.

Well, as you can see,

your prince is a bit...
tied up at the moment.

It is a matter of state,
young man.

Please, step aside.

You women,
leave us alone.

Go, go, go, go, go!

What is the meaning
of this?

Your Highness,
I am Artemus Gordon,

but please call me
Hussein Bin Hocar

in front of
these people.

I've told them that
I'm your grand vizier.

Now, Jim West is
around here somewhere;

between the two of us,

I promise you,
we'll get you out.

Out?

Yes.

You must be crazy.

I don't want out.

Don't you understand?

This whole place
is a prison.

There are armed guards
every foot of the way here.

Mr. Gordon...

if this is a prison,

please see
what you can do

about getting me
a life sentence.

I like it here.

Artemus Gordon.

Of course!
I should have known.

I've been expecting you,

and yet still
you slipped right past me.

Unfortunately, this is
not a costume ball

or you'd win
all the prizes.

Come.

I'll take you
to see James West.

Jim's all right?

Of course-
what did you expect?

I, uh...

Oh...

I must say, I'm just
a trifle surprised.

Well, I'm only
so pleased

that we could all be here,

one big happy family.

Put him
in there.

I told him he could see
his friend.

Where's James West?

Where is he?!

Sound the alarm-
West has escaped!

I want him brought back here!

You did this to me,
didn't you, Ecstasy?

There's no other way

he could have gotten
out of here.

Did he double-cross you,
my dear?

Or did he spurn you?

Oh, what a rotter.

Yes, you are going to
pay for that indiscretion!

You are going to pay
very, very dearly.

Get away from
that cage, T., now.

I don't think so,
my friend.

You slide your gun
to me,

or else she dies.

You see, once I activate
this deadly gas,

you'll never get her
out of there.

Not alive.

Well?

Pick it up.

Now...

It had to come to this,
didn't it, James?

Our moment of truth.

What we've both
really been wanting.

A test.

A test of strength...

and skill.

The skill of
hand-to-hand combat.

Do you think
you're up to it?

Oh, my dear fellow...

I personally trained

my most accomplished
assassins.

Jammed!

I always have to hurt
you, don't I?

T. was right-
you are a rotter.

But you're a charming one...
and you did save my life.

Well, it was only fair.

You saved mine.

I hate you,
you know that?

Of course.

And I still plan
to kill the emir.

Of course.

Why does he keep
saying "of course"

in that irritating
manner?

Because he thinks
you're a fraud.

What?

So do I.

It's true, Ecstasy,
you might as well admit it.

You know you've never killed
anybody in your life.

I have so.

I've killed
dozens of people.

Name one.

Well, there was...

there was...

Yes?

Well, there was that
Austrian prince for one.

Oh, an Austrian prince.

That's interesting,
isn't it, Artemus?

In the business we're in,
we're usually informed

about the assassinations
of, uh, politicians,

and I don't remember an Austrian
prince being assassinated

in the last
eight to ten years.

Wouldn't that be
right, Artemus?

Closer to 12, I'd say.

Well, it was
earlier than that.

It was in 1860,
to be exact-

in March.

March of 1860.

You would have been nine
years old at the time.

I hate you.

Oh, we established that
some time ago.

Enemies forever?

Forever.