All language subtitles for The Wild Wild West - 01x12 - The Night of the Human Trigger.Unspecified.English.updated.Addic7ed.com

Nice, peaceful place.

Yeah, nice, peaceful,
spooky place.

Ever hear about where
angels fear to tread?

Everybody's left town.

If we had any sense,
we'd follow them.

Will you tell
me how anyone

can predict
an earthquake?

That's what Washington sent us
to find out.

Today is the fifth of June.

Guess where that sun is?

Business is kind of slow,
isn't it?

Seasonal.

Oh, I knew it couldn't be
the earthquake.

What earthquake?

Stout fella.

Today's earthquake.

That earthquake was supposed
to have occurred at high noon,

wasn't it, friend?

Yeah.

Well...

What's your pleasure, gents?

Why didn't you two leave?

Because I heard there was
an earthquake in Twin Rivers

and I heard there was
an earthquake in Crown Point.

All I believe is what I see.

And all I've seen...
this circular.

He hadn't even
seen that.

Oh, those other earthquakes

could have been
sheer coincidence, Jim.

Or lies.

Anybody hang around Crown Point
or Twin Rivers long enough

to see the earthquake?

No.

No one even knows if, uh,
there actually was one.

There wasn't.

It's possible.

"...the sun is
at its summit."

You know I have
suddenly grown weary

of this line of work.

Has its ups
and its downs.

Howdy.

Well, howdy.

Howdy.

Strange.

What's strange?

Dust storm this time of year.

We'd better check
on the horses.

Yeah, and then we'll
find the train.

Maybe we'll have better luck
next time.

A howling success.

Nature couldn't have produced
a more peachy earthquake.

It ripped the land
from one end to the other!

Orkney,
you surely do

know how to make
an earthquake.

You sure do.

Sam and Harry,
you stick with me

and we'll have earth beyond
our most secret dreams.

We're sticking.

Ah-hah, ah-hah, ah-hah.

What's this?

What is this?

Aah.

It's their train.

It's coming this way.

Mr. West and Mr. Gordon.

What do we do
about them?

Well...

that's been arranged.

That's all been arranged.

Plenty of excitement.

But it's all over for a while.

Listen, Jim.

Somebody has declared war

on the United States, right? Right.

Why shouldn't the United
States declare war on somebody?

Artemus, you know that an army
fights an enemy it can see.

What would the cavalry do
against, um, "somebody"?

We don't even know whether
it was one man or several.

We have to find out
if it was one man or several.

Agreed. Where?
Sentinel.

That's past tense.
Mm-hmm.

Twin Rivers, Crown Point,
also past tense.

Notice something, Artemus.

They're all on the same line,
geographically-

the fault line.

Now, wait a minute.

Here's Ford's Junction.

Now, that is a good 100 miles
east of your fault line

and yet that had
an earthquake, too.

Mm-hmm.

But Sentinel, Twin Rivers
and Crown Point were warned.

Ford's Junction wasn't.

Which makes whoever
is responsible

not only destroyers
but also murderers.

300 people died in Ford's
Junction for no reason at all.

Notice they're all grouped

in the eastern
part of Wyoming?

And whoever it is

has to be close enough
to those areas

to give out the circulars.

Oh, I was wrong.

He wants to blow up
all of Wyoming.

According to the circulars,

there's an earthquake due
in 18 hours in Ellenville.

On the fault line.

Hello, Ellenville.

Sheriff, you
just can't run.

We've seen those.

Have you seen
what's happened

to the towns
that got these?

The people of Ellenville
are depending on you.

What people?

Nobody was leaving until
those circulars appeared.

I'll face up to anything...

anything I can see coming.

You ever see an earthquake
coming?

We wouldn't be leaving like
those sensible people, would we?

No, we wouldn't.

I'd like to take
a hot bath.

Help yourself.

I'll need a room.

Take your pick.

Of course you're lost.

Not at all.

And I didn't hear you knock,

so that settles
the gentleman question.

And the door was open

so that settles
the shy damsel question.

Is this your room?

What do you think?

You didn't answer
my question.

Yes, this is my room.

Nothing broken?

Who are you?

James West.

Faith Cadwallader.

Charmed.

Married?

Only shot up
a few times.

What are you doing here?

I was about to take a bath.

What are you doing here?

I'm getting ready for my bath.

Aren't you afraid
of earthquakes?

Oh, there are two whole hours
left.

May I have my gun?

Certainly.

Sit down, Mr. West.

I like you,
but my orders are clear.

You are James West?

Of course.

Well, I have to be sure.

I'd hate to have
the wrong man killed.

I have the sickest feeling
that you're not joking.

Oh, Papa did not raise us
to joke about chores.

Chores?

After that little exchange,

I thought
we were becoming friends.

Papa forbade me
to kill you, Mr. West.

He said that it wouldn't be
ladylike.

Why does Papa want to kill me?

He's learned of your exploits.

He says you're very dangerous.

I'm dangerous?

You fools.

That isn't the one you want.

This is West.

Oh, my brothers,
Mr. West...

uh, Hercules
and Thaddeus.

Bovines whom Papa forbids
to speak

during the execution of a chore

for fear it might befuddle
their minuscule minds.

Papa still retains
some hope for these behemoths.

Now are you ready
for your chore?

Now, I'm going to take a bath

and when I return
I want this room empty.

I intend to nap
before dinner.

And once more, this is Mr. West.

Papa wants him
killed.

That is your chore.

No, no, no, no.

What did Papa tell you?

Not in front of a lady.

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry Papa's
determined to have you dead.

There are so few men
left in Wyoming.

Thaddeus,
let's shoot him here.

Papa said no talking.

Yeah, get him, Thaddeus.

Papa was right.

He is dangerous.

Jim.

I'm all right.

Dinner.

Now stop it.

That belongs to nature.

Now come on.

But we got to eat.

Papa didn't say nothing
about destroying nature.

Now come on.

Oh, you're the one
that needs taming.

There goes our dinner.

Come on.

Lady tiger and
her two elephants.

We've got guns, why
don't we use them?

Not kill them, just
cage them a little.

When I started this,
I said I didn't believe

anyone could predict
an earthquake.

I was wrong, someone can.

Someone who wants you
and me dead.

Well, that makes everything
a good deal more comforting.

Who and why?

Who's easy.

Faith's father.

Why?

We won't know
until we find him.

We're ready if they are.

Yeah.

Oh, you lout!

Oh, is that the help
you get nowadays?

You can't depend
on who you pay the most.

Oh, you...

Now you keep up
that bungling, Sidney,

and I'm going to take
Chickasaw away from you.

I'm Sam.

I don't... you're Sam?

What county

did I promise you?

Little Butte.

Very well, then.

I'm going to take
Little Butte away from you.

How'd you like that?

Well, I wouldn't like that.

Then you better be careful.

And you heard that, too, Sam.

Sydney.

Well, Sam or Sydney,

I'm glad I have
no son like you.

I've had students
like that, Sydney.

Chattering away
during the whole semester.

Never a thought
of the lectures

and then always surprised
when they fail.

Now what?

Not what, where.

Well, they couldn't
just have disappeared.

They have.

Where?

Oh, my dear daughter.

You're well, Father.

It's nice to see you back
to your old self again.

Papa.

My little one.

My little...

Ah, my dear son,
Hercules.

I'm Thaddeus, Papa.

Now don't quibble.

Where have you been?

We were expecting you yesterday.

Well, we couldn't
help it, Papa.

Land's full of holes.

Was that because
of my earthquakes?

I guess.

Now, wait a minute.

Don't come to any
hasty conclusions.

Mull it over, Thaddeus.

I'm Hercules, Papa.

Ah, he does
know something.

Bully for you.

Is there any dynamite left,
daughter?

All of it, Papa.

Then you didn't
blow up West's train?

We couldn't find
the train, Papa.

How did you eliminate
that meddling snoop?

Hmm?

She was to render him
helpless

and you were
to render him lifeless.

We tried, Papa.

He's tricky, Papa.

You go render that snoop West.

What about
the other snoop, Papa?

I think he's
his brother.

Well if it is, it runs
in the family, doesn't it?

Hercules... I think
we'd better render both.

I'm surrounded
by hostiles.

Sometimes, I think
your dear mother-

oh, bless her memory-

was too indulgent
with them.

Poor papa... struggling
against the tide.

No, I have
turned the tide.

I've employed nature
for my own use

and now I want my reward.

But I'm very disappointed
with my sons.

Perhaps they can
redeem themselves now.

They're good boys.

Everybody can't be
a genius like you.

Oh, my dear!

Between normal intelligence and genius

lies a spectrum
broad enough

for the whole
human race.

Why were my sons
omitted?

Oh, they try.

They do try.

Papa?

Now, don't get mad,
Papa.

Why are you
still here?

We don't know
where to go, Papa.

We don't know where...

West.

We don't know
where he is, Papa.

I expect nothing from
them, but I do from you.

I'm only human.

Well, I'm superhuman
and you have my blood.

Papa, I...

Shh, silence!

Well, horses...

It's two horses.

With, obviously, two riders...

that's, uh, 1200...
no, that's 800 yards away.

Well, you lost them;
I've just found them.

See that you
don't lose them again.

Get ready!

Get set!

Go!

You're getting slow.

Go and redeem yourselves.

Well, he'll be
dead, Papa.

Don't you worry
about that.

They were as fast
as any superhumans can be.

I know, my dear, but
they must be kept alert.

It's no easy task.

Oh...

I tell you, that trail...

Now, this
is so much better.

This is all right until
we can find some water.

Now, listen,
I'll get it.

I never knew until now

just how much
I like walking, huh?

Come on.
Let's go.

Mr. West.

You're too far away for those
fancy punches this time, Mr. West.

That's right, West.

No hot water here.

And no window.

We got all the time
you got, Mr. West.

Uh-uh... we got more.

You see, we had
our fill of water.

You've only got one gun,
Mr. West.

Which one of us
is it going to be?

Which one do you think
it's going to be?

Take me, Mr. West.

No, no!

I'm older.

I'm really enjoying
myself,

but orders is orders.

Thaddeus!

Papa's waiting.

Bye, West.

Well, from back there,
I thought, "That's it."

Well...

don't hold your breath.

Their Pappy ain't
going to like this.

All right, let's move.

Move!

Sorry, Orkney, but Thaddeus
and Hercules won't be back.

They shot it out.

He killed 'em dead.

I had no choice.

Was it a fair fight?

They drew first.

And they didn't
kill you?

The wind must've
been in my direction.

I'll see to them,
Papa.

Ashes to ashes,
my daughter.

Well, they weren't much,
but they were our blood,

and they deserve
a decent burial.

How wise are the Greeks...
the legend of Antigone.

She had to bury
her brother.

You'll have my full
permission, my daughter.

So, you're the earthquake artist, huh?

That's well put,
citizen.

You're a very destructive man,
citizen.

We're going to have
to put a stop to you.

"Put a stop to you."

You took the words
out of my mouth.

Your weapons, please.

All your weapons.

I have enough respect
for the Secret Service

to have studied some
of your techniques.

Thank you.

Look in there, please.

So, you have killed
my sons.

They may not have been much,
but surely they deserve revenge.

I'll see that you die...
with a flair, sir.

But we're
your guests, sir.

Mm-hmm.

Gently, citizens, gently.

If you so much as sneeze,
why, the involuntary shudder

will cause you to move your
feet, and that will kill you.

You see, there is just enough
glycerol trinitrate

in those little vials

tied around your feet

to blow you balloon-higher
than an earthquake.

Oh, you do have
a homesy humor.

Gently, gently, citizens.

No heavy breathing.

Ooh, that is

a lovely pose.

I tell you what it's ideal for-
interrogating suspects.

Yes, I offered it
to the police in Boston,

and they thought I was mad.

A prophet without honor;
it's been my fate.

But no longer... no longer.

Well, look around you,
Mr., uh, North?

West.
West, West.

You just look around
you, but carefully.

Remember your feet,
you see.

Now, what do you see?

A geologist's laboratory.

Very perceptive!

You see, I was correct
to be concerned about you.

You seem very unconcerned

about everyone else
in the state of Wyoming.

That is false!

I gave everybody fair warning!

Here, you see that?

And my first ultimatum
was to the governor.

I told him
to evacuate Wyoming,

and if he'd done it,

why, there'd have been
no loss of property.

What's the difference,
if you want it all?

The difference is

that I'm going to get it all
from all of them.

"Them"? "All of them"?

Luke Sorroll is the first one.

He's the cattle baron
at the Crow's Foot County.

That was the first county
that I conquered.

But you know,
I was not unhappy at Harvard.

After all,
I held the Chair of Geology,

Orkney Cadwallader,
B.A., M.A., Ph.D., L.L.D.

And since my colleagues
were as impecunious as myself,

well, my economic pain
was not unbearable.

But I warn you, citizens,
unless you raise the salary

of teachers very soon,
there's going to be trouble.

Now, you mark my words!

But... to get back
to business in hand.

This Luke Sorroll,
he offered me my fortune

to go out to Wyoming with him
and use my geologic skill

to find him the best grazing
land for his beef, and I did.

Did he pay you?

No, a pittance.

Nothing to what he promised,
nothing to what I earned him,

and then,
when he finished with me,

why, I had to beg for employment
just to feed my family.

But you found employment.

Yes, Luke Sorroll and Adam
Bogartus and Clay Crawford,

they passed me around
like a fiddler's filly

and then when I asked for land-

just a little piece
of land for my fee-

they put a price on it
that I couldn't meet,

and so I took my land...
and theirs.

With your
earthquakes.

With my
earthquakes.

You're curious, aren't you?

Well, just say so.

It's a simple,
declarative sentence.

I am curious.

Yeah. Precisely.

You know what a fault is?

A bad serve in tennis.

No. Silence, you wretch...

or I'll tickle you.

A fault is an irregularity
underneath the earth's surface.

We're not geologists, professor.

Oh, that's very evident.

No, but you're correct.

It is an irregularity
beneath the earth's surface

or, more specifically,
it is a fracture

beneath the crust of the earth

and just as a broken limb

is more susceptible
to pressure in the human body,

so it is with the earth,
as I discovered

when I was looking for water
for this parched land.

Now, I put some dynamite
over what I thought

was an underground river,
but what I found

was not water but,
shall we say, a weapon?

You slaughtered innocent people.

Never! I tell you
they were warned.

Those 300 people
at Ford's Junction

weren't warned.

Well, that was
a mistake.

It's regrettable.

I was just trying to
polish my skills.

And a whole village
is wiped out.

So that a thousand villages

can be born
and abound in dignity.

Do you know that there is enough
gold and silver in Wyoming

to feed every man,
woman and child?

Enough to create a community

in which the arts
and sciences shall flourish?

Enough so that
even the lowliest man

can carry his head in dignity...
and, no taxes, of course.

And the fact that you're
a thief and a murderer?

Doesn't that concern you?

No, no, no. No more
than your death would.

Don't you
find it necessary

to bluff now
and then, too, Jim?

Mm-hmm.

Professor, if we step
on these vials

won't you
and your laboratory

be blown up with us?

I hate clever men.

I hate you, Father.

That's a very healthy
symptom, my daughter.

When you can transfer
those violent emotions

from me to a suitable young man,

well, your future
happiness will be assured.

Father.

You know,
earlier,

you were Antigone,
and now you've become Electra.

You've run the whole gamut
of Greek drama.

You are callous beyond belief.

Run along, please, I'm busy.

Too busy to be
at your sons' burial?

Well, that won't
bring them back,

but I will be at theirs.

Oh, I hate you.

Now, run
along, please.

Oh, and, uh...

when Wyoming becomes
an independent country,

we will have a great
inaugural ball,

so you go work
on your guest list.

And, pray, send Sam
and Harry to me, hmm?

We have time for another
question or two, gentlemen.

Do you really think you'll
get away with all of this?

If we die,
the government's sure

to send troops
in after you.

I have earthquakes enough

to take care of any
number of armies.

Now, gentlemen,

I'm going to show you instances
of the fault line in Wyoming.

Now...

by placing dynamite

at crucial points,

I bring pressure to bear
on the land masses

that are straining
at each other.

An example.

I put pressure...

Voila. An earthquake.

Exit Sawtooth.

It's a stunning success.

Good-bye, gentlemen.

Don't stumble, Sam.

I'm Harry.

Well, then, act like Harry.

Be careful, both of you.

Our guests are going
on a short journey.

Why do you
have to die?

My sentiments
exactly.

I know that if
you gave up

your old Secret Service,
Papa wouldn't kill you.

I can tell Papa to start
his own Secret Service

and you can
be in charge.

But I don't agree

with what
Papa's doing.

You might even say,

we're here to stop him.

Well, you might also say
you've certainly failed at that.

Hope springs eternal.

Now, for the last time,
please be sensible.

Sorry.

Papa simply has to stop killing
all the men in Wyoming.

Good-bye, Mr. Sawtooth.

Uh, I mean, I have to prepare
the earthquake for Sawtooth.

By the way,
this is very important.

The statistics
and the records

in the courthouse

are the only claims
that anybody has

for any of the territory
here in this section of Wyoming.

All right, go on.

Good-bye.

You know, somewhere
inside there,

Cadwallader makes
powder out of this ore.

Including us,
you might say.

Rock it, Artemus,
rock it.

It's our only chance.

Now, hold still.

That's got
it, Artemus.

Someday they'll
improve that machine

so they can stamp

anything they
want, anytime.

Boy, you have
an inventive mind.

This is Sawtooth,
and this is the fault line.

The question is:

Where did the professor
plant the dynamite?

Well, the question is how
accurate this model is.

We don't even know if
he's built it to scale.

The professor's a thorough man.

It's as accurate
as he can make it.

In that case...
my guess would be

that the dynamite
set off the earthquake

was planted off
in that direction.

About ten miles east of here,
near the woods.

I've got to find the professor,
the dynamite, or both.

Artemus,
you get to Sawtooth

and get those people
out of there

in case
the professor wins.

Right.

Boy or girl?

What's that, ma'am?

That is a
simple question

which even a triumphant
male should understand.

You the father come
to report the birth?

Oh, no, ma'am.

You can't fool Aunt Martha.

She's awful sharp.

Well, then
what is she still doing here?

What are you all
still doing here?

Haven't you been told
to get out of town

before
the earthquake hits?

Then you're not a father.

You're, you're just scared.

Believe me, Aunt Martha,
I have every reason to be-

not for myself,
but for everyone in Sawtooth.

You and Mister, uh...

Porter Richards,

Deputy Clerk of
Sawtooth County.

I'm Chief Clerk.

Well, you're going to be
an ex-chief and ex-deputy

if you don't
get out of town.

Because people are fools
enough to leave their homes?

Let someone
frighten them away?

Take their land?

Not take their lands,
Aunt Martha,

destroy them
with earthquakes.

If there are no witnesses,
he can call it anything.

I was in Sentinel.

I am a witness.

Hearsay.

No, I tell you
I saw it.

You say?

I don't know you.

And I must say, you don't
look any too reliable.

Aunt Martha,
I am an agent

for the United States
Secret Service.

If you was secret,
you wouldn't be telling us.

Aunt Martha's
a hard one to fool,

let me tell you.

She's a hard head to boot.

You're going to kill everybody
in this town

if you don't listen to me.

Young man,

by the time
you were born,

I'd had six children,
buried two,

and killed
12 Injuns.

That was across
Main Street from here.

My husband, God rest his soul,
and I, and one other man,

made Sawtooth.

Mr. Richards,

will you listen
to reason?

Boy, I'll listen to anything.

It's better than writing
in this book.

Will you help me clear
the people of Sawtooth out?

Well, you just heard
Aunt Martha say

that she and her husband
started this town.

With one other man.

Guess who?

Indians!

Look out! They
hit the dynamite.

Stop, you fools!

You're leaving
a kingdom!

There are no Indians!

I gave them six counties!

Your philanthropy is over,
Professor.

Oh, I knew
it, I knew it.

I should have
killed you myself

when I had you
in that laboratory.

We can talk
about that later.

Right now, we've got
some dismantling to do.

No organization.

No reliable chain of command.

Everything falls
on my shoulders.

Oh, you've worn me out

Mister... whatever-your-name-is.

You'll have a long rest
as soon as you tell me

where that detonator is
to blow up Sawtooth.

Sawtooth?

Sawtooth?
Uh... what's the last name?

The tea-party talk is over.

I want to know
where that detonator is.

Ah, at last, the true
child of her father.

Blood is thicker than water.

Don't move, Professor.

Have you no sentiment?

I couldn't help it.

Blood is thicker than water.

And why aren't you sitting
in a parlor somewhere

welcoming my beaus,

little king?

Because no man
is good enough for you.

Want to know
where the detonator is,

hmm?

You're the detonator,
Mr. South.

Now, if and when
this little pendulum

touches either contact

it will, uh, set off
the earthquake

and blow you and Sawtooth
out of the state of Wyoming.

So, it'll be better
if you don't breathe.

Very funny!

Here now, my darling,

here are the pamphlets
for Clark City.

That's the scene of
our next catastrophe.

Now hurry, hurry
and get ready

because we have
a long ride.

Will you do as I say?

Just a moment.

Ah!

Don't you want to live?

Not if I'm going to be
an old maid.

Well, now, hurry,
hurry, hurry.

Papa?

Yes?

What happens to your old
earthquake if he doesn't move?

You're a chip from
the old block-

always asking questions,
always demanding answers.

No, those wires lead
to another fuse

and it's time for

high noon.

It'll go...!

All right.

Exciting, isn't it?

Exciting. Exciting.

Hey, Professor
Cadwallader?

Stay right there.

I thought it was you.

You know me, do you?

Oh, but naturally
from your photographs,

the great geologist.

I have read all your papers on
compressional longitudinal waves.

Even in my own country,

I've studied your lectures
on secondary transport rates

and I know your
theories of a... a...

I don't know
the words in English

as good as you
know them yourself.

You do, do you?

Ya.

Please, permit me, huh,

to introduce myself.
I am Dr. Nein... Neinkindolf

of University of Vienna.

I see.
Well, if you'll excuse me.

But, nein, please,

I've come all the
way from Austria

to talk with you
about something.

I look for you everywhere.

Now I find you face-to-face
and I can't remember

what it was.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

That's very flattering.
Some other time.

No, I remember now.

Here... earthquakes.

Earthquakes?

Yeah.

I am firmly convinced

that a man with
your vast knowledge,

applying your theories...

could, uh, manufacture
earthquakes.

That would make me
a miracle man, wouldn't it?

Well...

Shall I tell you
a secret? Mmm?

Yeah, yeah.

I can.

And for scientific
purposes only

of course.

That's all I
wanted to know.

A revolt in the palace!

I'm a man alone!

You should have remained
at Harvard, Professor.

So close, so close.

Stop!

If I lose, you lose.

Papa, I've burned
your circulars.

You've got to stop this.

You can't ruin
people's lives... and mine.

I want my chance
for happiness.

Ah-ha.

Well, you've
had your chance.

Your last chance.

I touch these, it'll
unite you forever

with that puritan
that you've fallen for.

Uh-huh.

Jim?

Jim where are you?!

We're over here, Artemus.

You all right?

It's not possible.

I don't believe it.

I don't believe it.

It's not possible.

Sawtooth was rigged
for annihilation.

According to my calculations,

Sawtooth should have been
utterly destroyed.

But it isn't.

Still here,
safe and sound.

But figures don't lie.

Well, that may be
true, Professor.

But I think you've based
that fourth equation

on a false assumption.

But that's basic.

I'd have to redo
my entire theory.

Well, then, uh, here.

You'll have plenty
of time, Professor.

One... one more.

One more.

Thank you.

I was afraid
I'd missed you.

I'm all ready.

Your father needs you, Faith.

Oh, no, it's happened.

I'm a big girl

and you're just the
kind of man I want.

I'm sorry, Faith.

Can't I just
go with you?

At your age,

your papa certainly
neglected your education.

Uh...

Excuse me.

Time to roll, Jim.

Good-bye, Faith.

Oh...

I hate you.

Oh, I hate you.

I hate the whole Secret Service!