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1
00:00:40,894 --> 00:00:43,875
- Hi, Emily.
- Oh, hi, Howard.
2
00:00:43,930 --> 00:00:46,740
- Where's Bob?
- He andjerry went to the basketball game.
3
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,746
How come he never
takes you with him?
4
00:00:48,802 --> 00:00:50,782
I don't understand the game.
5
00:00:50,837 --> 00:00:55,411
Well, I'd explain it to you,
but I don't understand it either.
6
00:00:55,475 --> 00:00:59,753
It has something to do
with a basket though.
7
00:00:59,813 --> 00:01:03,351
- And a ball.
- Yeah,yeah, and a ball...
8
00:01:03,416 --> 00:01:05,418
and, uh, you drool it a lot.
9
00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:08,759
Howard, I thinkyou dribble it.
10
00:01:08,822 --> 00:01:12,736
Well, what's the difference?
Either way it's sickening. [Groans]
11
00:01:12,793 --> 00:01:14,795
What are you drinking, Howard?
12
00:01:16,463 --> 00:01:19,410
Oh, I came over
to show you my goldfish.
13
00:01:19,466 --> 00:01:23,608
- Isn't he a cute little guy?
- What makes you so sure he's a guy?
14
00:01:27,674 --> 00:01:30,018
What are you looking for?
15
00:01:30,076 --> 00:01:32,078
Oh, nothing.
16
00:01:33,747 --> 00:01:35,954
I thought he was a guy.
He's kind of a strong swimmer.
17
00:01:36,016 --> 00:01:40,328
L, uh- I just gotta get a kind of
a good name for him,you know.
18
00:01:40,387 --> 00:01:42,833
How about Mark Spitz?
19
00:01:42,889 --> 00:01:45,961
No, I don't want to name him after a person.
I named my dog after a person.
20
00:01:46,026 --> 00:01:49,496
- Oh, really? What'd you name your dog?
- Howard Borden.
21
00:01:49,563 --> 00:01:51,509
Did your mail get mixed up?
22
00:01:55,669 --> 00:01:57,615
Only once.
23
00:01:57,671 --> 00:02:01,744
On my 18th birthday, he was drafted.
Never saw him since.
24
00:02:01,808 --> 00:02:05,119
- Oh, Howard, maybe he's a general now.
- Yeah.
25
00:02:05,178 --> 00:02:07,590
Hey, look. He's blowing bubbles.
[Laughs]
26
00:02:07,647 --> 00:02:09,684
Oh, Howard, he is one in a million.
27
00:02:09,749 --> 00:02:11,695
Yeah, that's why I want
a good name for him.
28
00:02:11,751 --> 00:02:14,561
Listen, Howard,
this may seem way out...
29
00:02:14,621 --> 00:02:17,966
but why don't you call him, uh, Goldie?
30
00:02:18,024 --> 00:02:22,370
- Why?
- Because he's a goldfish.
31
00:02:22,429 --> 00:02:24,375
I don't get the connection.
32
00:02:25,532 --> 00:02:28,672
Goldfish? Goldie?
33
00:02:28,735 --> 00:02:30,840
Yeah, I guess it is stupid.
34
00:02:32,005 --> 00:02:33,951
- Hi.
- Oh, hi, Bob.
35
00:02:34,007 --> 00:02:38,581
The game- That Dwayne Granger is fantastic.
I have never seen a player like that in my life.
36
00:02:38,645 --> 00:02:41,182
Aw. Did your friend Chuck McCoy
hoop a lot of scores?
37
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:43,250
No, Emily, you don't
understand basketball.
38
00:02:43,316 --> 00:02:45,762
See, Chuck is the coach.
He doesn't hoop.
39
00:02:45,819 --> 00:02:47,765
Dwayne Granger hoops.
He's unbelievable.
40
00:02:47,821 --> 00:02:50,529
He scored 63 points tonight
for a new league record.
41
00:02:50,590 --> 00:02:52,866
Oh, that's good, Bob.
Did you see my stapler?
42
00:02:52,926 --> 00:02:56,339
No, honey, he is the most fantastic basketball
player you have ever seen in your life.
43
00:02:56,396 --> 00:02:58,637
The last second of the first half
he steals the ball.
44
00:02:58,698 --> 00:03:03,306
- He dribbles all the way down to the far end
of the court. - What do you think of my fish?
45
00:03:03,370 --> 00:03:06,112
Nice.
46
00:03:06,172 --> 00:03:10,018
He slam-dunks it.
That's why they call him “the Duke of Dunk.“
47
00:03:10,076 --> 00:03:12,022
Can't find the stapler.
Have to use paper clips.
48
00:03:12,078 --> 00:03:16,254
The third quarter, 23 rebounds and pulls
the team within eight points of the other.
49
00:03:16,316 --> 00:03:19,126
- Did you see the paper clips? - I think
they're in the second drawer in the kitchen.
50
00:03:19,185 --> 00:03:21,529
An all-time record, Emily,
and I was there to see it.
51
00:03:21,588 --> 00:03:23,534
They're not there. I looked.
52
00:03:23,590 --> 00:03:25,399
- T/ythe den?
- Mm-hmm.
53
00:03:25,458 --> 00:03:27,836
I'm talking about basketball,
you're talking about paper clips.
54
00:03:27,894 --> 00:03:30,636
Well, I need the stapler.
55
00:03:30,697 --> 00:03:32,904
This is a joke.
56
00:03:32,966 --> 00:03:35,947
Tell it, Bob. I lovejokes.
57
00:03:38,538 --> 00:03:42,213
- Well, go ahead, honey. I'm sorry.
- Read about it in the paper.
58
00:03:42,275 --> 00:03:44,812
- Come on, Bob. Tell thejoke.
_ NO_
59
00:03:44,878 --> 00:03:47,051
- Go ahead. Come on. We'll listen.
- Yeah.
60
00:03:47,113 --> 00:03:49,992
Okay, in the third quarter,
we have the ball out-of-bounds, right?
61
00:03:50,050 --> 00:03:53,827
Duke breaks from the baseline to the top of
the key,jumps in the air for the inbound pass.
62
00:03:53,887 --> 00:03:57,960
Without even coming down, he whirls around,
through the hoop, the buzzer goes off.
63
00:03:58,024 --> 00:04:00,026
Well, that's nice.
64
00:04:01,594 --> 00:04:03,972
I don't get thatjoke.
65
00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:07,273
- You're not supposed to get it.
- Maybe you told it wrong.
66
00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:10,338
Yeah, I told it wrong.
67
00:04:10,403 --> 00:04:14,249
Well, I'd like to hear it again,
but it's our feeding time.
68
00:04:14,307 --> 00:04:16,548
Come on, boy. Here we go.
69
00:04:16,609 --> 00:04:20,751
- Oh, uh, Emily, do you have any fish food?
- Fresh out.
70
00:04:20,814 --> 00:04:25,024
Oh, that's okay.
I'll just whip him up some scrambled eggs.
71
00:04:28,254 --> 00:04:31,599
- Want a cup of coffee?
- No, thank you.
72
00:04:31,658 --> 00:04:34,002
There's, uh- There's some
chocolate cake in the refrigerator.
73
00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:36,301
No, thank you.
74
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:40,937
Oh. Come on, honey.
Now, don't be angry.
75
00:04:41,001 --> 00:04:43,709
I'm just not interested in basketball.
76
00:04:43,770 --> 00:04:48,378
Emily, it's that kind of apathy that's
gonna cause the Chicago Sunspots to fold.
77
00:04:48,441 --> 00:04:50,921
Well, I never heard of
the Chicago Sunspots.
78
00:04:50,977 --> 00:04:54,652
- Have you heard of the Roman Empire?
- Of course.
79
00:04:54,714 --> 00:04:59,595
Well, it was people like you that caused it to-
to decline and then fall.
80
00:04:59,652 --> 00:05:02,098
I'm sorry, Bob. I didn't mean to.
81
00:05:02,155 --> 00:05:04,465
Now, come on.
Tell me about the game.
82
00:05:04,524 --> 00:05:08,097
Emily, it was amazing.
Sixty-three points by one man in one game.
83
00:05:08,161 --> 00:05:10,334
- You know what I think, Bob?
- What?
84
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:13,173
I think I left that stapler at school.
85
00:05:14,367 --> 00:05:16,779
- Emily.
- Mmm?
86
00:05:16,836 --> 00:05:19,248
L-I don't want to hurt your feelings...
87
00:05:19,305 --> 00:05:22,115
but the next time I come back
from a basketball game...
88
00:05:22,175 --> 00:05:24,348
don't be here.
89
00:05:27,614 --> 00:05:30,026
It's the last second of the first half.
Granger steals the ball.
90
00:05:30,083 --> 00:05:35,328
Heads down court,
fakes one guy out of his ch-jersey.
91
00:05:35,388 --> 00:05:38,597
Takes off from the top of the key,
floats in the air for a minute and a half...
92
00:05:38,658 --> 00:05:41,298
and slam-dunks it.
93
00:05:42,495 --> 00:05:44,736
Nice dunk, Duke.
94
00:05:44,798 --> 00:05:47,074
I'm really sorry.
95
00:05:47,133 --> 00:05:51,479
He slam-dunks it right as the buzzer goes off.
Musfve been in the air for a minute and a half.
96
00:05:51,538 --> 00:05:54,917
- What a night, huh? - Carol, you wouldn't
believe it. End of the third quarter-
97
00:05:54,974 --> 00:06:00,754
Uh, the next guy who slam-dunks something
at me gets his shirt thumbtacked to his chest.
98
00:06:00,814 --> 00:06:03,420
I'm sorry, Carol. We shouldn't
talk basketball in front of you.
99
00:06:03,483 --> 00:06:06,760
- Yeah, let's talk behind her back.
- Why don't we talk in my office?
100
00:06:06,820 --> 00:06:10,097
Wait a minute. You can talk right here.
I know a little about b-ball, you know.
101
00:06:10,156 --> 00:06:13,569
When I was a kid, I used to play for my school.
I was known as the Red Menace.
102
00:06:13,626 --> 00:06:16,607
We're talking about
real basketball here.
103
00:06:16,663 --> 00:06:19,234
You mean the Chicago Sunspots?
[Laughs]
104
00:06:19,299 --> 00:06:23,076
You call that real basketball?
They've lost 11 out ofl 6.
105
00:06:23,136 --> 00:06:26,242
Yeah, but the-the Duke
scored 63 points last night.
106
00:06:26,306 --> 00:06:29,719
But they still lost, Bob,
because the Duke of Dunk is a hot dog.
107
00:06:29,776 --> 00:06:32,279
Why do you think the Celtics
won so consistently, huh?
108
00:06:32,345 --> 00:06:34,347
It wasn'tjust Bill Russell, you know.
109
00:06:34,414 --> 00:06:38,328
It was Cousy, Sharman, Heinsohn, Satch Sanders,
with Ramsey coming off the bench.
110
00:06:41,521 --> 00:06:43,831
Let's, uh-
Let's go in my officeJerry.
111
00:06:43,890 --> 00:06:46,496
I told you she-
she doesn't understand.
112
00:06:48,461 --> 00:06:51,635
How about asking Coach McCoy to give me
some free tickets for Saturday night's game?
113
00:06:51,698 --> 00:06:55,407
Jerry, why don't you buy 'em, support the team?
There were plenty of seats.
114
00:06:55,468 --> 00:06:59,575
- I don't wanna buy any tickets. They're
gonna lose anyway. - Then why go?
115
00:06:59,639 --> 00:07:02,483
I wanna see the Duke of Dunk.
Besides, I'll have free tickets.
116
00:07:02,542 --> 00:07:04,783
I'm not gonna ask Chuck
for free tickets.
117
00:07:04,844 --> 00:07:07,188
All I want is eight
lousy tickets here.
118
00:07:07,247 --> 00:07:09,523
- Eight? You said a couple.
- No, I said a few.
119
00:07:09,582 --> 00:07:11,755
Eight's not a few. Eight's a bunch.
120
00:07:11,818 --> 00:07:14,264
No, no, no. Ten's a bunch.
Eight is a few.
121
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,891
Jerry, I'm not gonna
get you tickets.
122
00:07:16,956 --> 00:07:19,027
Hey, I grew up in an orphanage, Bob.
123
00:07:19,092 --> 00:07:22,039
Nothing makes an orphan happier
than a free ticket to a basketball game.
124
00:07:22,095 --> 00:07:24,769
You're gonna give
these tickets to orphans?
125
00:07:24,831 --> 00:07:27,277
Every one of those eight tickets
is going to an orphan.
126
00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:29,540
- Except for seven.
- [Knocking]
127
00:07:29,602 --> 00:07:32,674
- Bob, Chuck McCoy's on the phone.
- 0h, thanks, Carol
128
00:07:32,739 --> 00:07:37,449
Tell him the Red Menace is available
if he needs a scrappy little playmaker.
129
00:07:37,510 --> 00:07:40,081
Ask him about the tickets, Bob.
130
00:07:40,146 --> 00:07:43,025
Chuck? Fantastic game.
131
00:07:43,082 --> 00:07:47,121
The last second of the first half,
the Duke breaks through, steals the ball-
132
00:07:47,187 --> 00:07:49,133
Oh, that's right.
You saw it, didn't you?
133
00:07:49,189 --> 00:07:51,191
Tickets, Bob. Tickets.
134
00:07:51,257 --> 00:07:54,295
Uh, I-Well, you almost won.
135
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:58,809
I tell you, the Duke
is a one-man team.
136
00:07:58,865 --> 00:08:00,867
- What do you mean, that's the trouble?
- Orphans, Bob.
137
00:08:00,934 --> 00:08:03,039
Tickets for orphans.
138
00:08:03,102 --> 00:08:05,605
Well, sure I'd like to help
the Sunspots out...
139
00:08:05,672 --> 00:08:08,744
but, uh, I haven't played in years.
140
00:08:11,311 --> 00:08:15,020
Oh, uh, how could I help
as a psychologist?
141
00:08:15,081 --> 00:08:17,652
Uh-huh.
142
00:08:17,717 --> 00:08:21,096
Sure, I'll, uh, take a crack at it.
So long, Chuck.
143
00:08:21,154 --> 00:08:24,158
You didn't ask Chuck
about the tickets.
144
00:08:24,224 --> 00:08:28,297
I didn't have to ask Chuck. I'm gonna ask the Duke
of Dunk. He's coming to my house tonight.
145
00:08:28,361 --> 00:08:30,841
- Duke of Dunk's coming to your house?
- That's right.
146
00:08:30,897 --> 00:08:32,877
Your house'll be a shrine, Bob.
147
00:08:32,932 --> 00:08:35,412
Want some tickets to my house?
148
00:08:36,402 --> 00:08:38,279
Just as long as they're free.
149
00:08:41,074 --> 00:08:43,953
I want to apologize, Bob.
I was really wrong.
150
00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:47,184
Well, you, uh, may have been right
about the Duke of Dunk being a hot dog.
151
00:08:47,247 --> 00:08:50,558
Oh, I know I was right about the Duke.
I was wrong about the Celtics.
152
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:53,894
It wasn't Satch Sanders.
It was “j unglejim“ Loscutoff.
153
00:08:56,389 --> 00:08:59,370
Yeah, I wondered how long
it was gonna be before you-
154
00:08:59,425 --> 00:09:02,929
[Clears Throat]
you'd realize that.
155
00:09:11,337 --> 00:09:16,650
Here it is, Emily.
A relic from the past. 1946.
156
00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:20,088
I scored four points with that
while I was a senior in high school.
157
00:09:20,146 --> 00:09:22,148
Looks like it was
shot out of a cannon.
158
00:09:22,215 --> 00:09:24,957
It had a lot more air in it
during the'40s.
159
00:09:25,018 --> 00:09:28,056
I'm gonna puff it up and have
the Duke of Dunk sign it tonight.
160
00:09:28,121 --> 00:09:31,500
Ah, well, what makes you
so sure he's gonna show up?
161
00:09:31,557 --> 00:09:35,004
Oh, he has to.
See, he owes the coach $10,000 in fines.
162
00:09:35,061 --> 00:09:38,304
The coach is gonna take offa thousand dollars
for each time he comes to see me.
163
00:09:38,364 --> 00:09:41,402
Oh, he must've done something terrible
to be fined that much.
164
00:09:41,467 --> 00:09:44,641
He did. He was late for a bed check,
he missed two practice sessions in one week...
165
00:09:44,704 --> 00:09:47,082
and he, uh-
he was rowdy on the team bus.
166
00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:51,350
Rowdy? Oh. Well, it's a good thing
they abolished capital punishment.
167
00:09:51,411 --> 00:09:53,357
See you later, Emily.
168
00:09:53,413 --> 00:09:56,155
Bob, do I really have
to go over to Howard's?
169
00:09:56,215 --> 00:09:59,662
- I have a patient coming.
- Okay.
170
00:09:59,719 --> 00:10:04,691
You know, I'm really not looking forward
to watching Howard train his fish to sit up.
171
00:10:07,126 --> 00:10:10,198
You never know. Someday
he might be a stunt-fish.
172
00:10:11,497 --> 00:10:14,068
Oh, uh, do we have a, uh-
a basketball pump?
173
00:10:14,133 --> 00:10:17,512
- No, but we have a bicycle pump in the den.
- Oh.
174
00:10:17,570 --> 00:10:20,107
Oh, uh- uh, how about a needle?
175
00:10:20,173 --> 00:10:24,019
It's in the haystack.
It's in the pump.
176
00:10:24,077 --> 00:10:27,923
Bob, when can I come home?
177
00:10:27,980 --> 00:10:30,290
When I call you!
178
00:10:30,350 --> 00:10:33,354
I wouldn't do this
for the game of football.
179
00:10:52,605 --> 00:10:56,075
Bob, Emily's being mean.
180
00:10:56,142 --> 00:10:59,419
- What's she doing, Howard?
- Well, shejust walked in and started reading.
181
00:10:59,479 --> 00:11:04,952
- That's vicious.
- Yeah. It sure is. She didn't say hello to my goldfish.
182
00:11:05,017 --> 00:11:07,520
And don't you think he
isn't insulted over there, boy.
183
00:11:07,587 --> 00:11:11,000
He's banging his head against the bowl
to try to get her to like him.
184
00:11:11,057 --> 00:11:13,867
Do you think that's fun?
You try banging your head against the window.
185
00:11:13,926 --> 00:11:16,998
Uh, maybe later, Howard.
I'm waiting for a patient.
186
00:11:17,063 --> 00:11:20,169
She's got him so upset,
he can't even eat his spareribs.
187
00:11:23,436 --> 00:11:25,382
- You the doc?
- Yeah.
188
00:11:25,438 --> 00:11:28,180
- I'm the Duke.
- Yeah, I-l know.
189
00:11:28,241 --> 00:11:30,187
Tell the coach I was here.
190
00:11:30,243 --> 00:11:35,386
Oh, and, uh, tell him to take
a thousand off my fine. See ya, Doc.
191
00:11:37,583 --> 00:11:39,529
See-See you.
192
00:11:41,087 --> 00:11:45,092
- Who was that?
- The, uh- The Duke of Dunk.
193
00:11:45,158 --> 00:11:48,298
One of the greatest
basketball players of all time.
194
00:11:48,361 --> 00:11:51,467
He's a personal friend of mine. I-
195
00:11:51,531 --> 00:11:54,512
I call him “Duke“
and he calls me, uh, “Doc?
196
00:12:15,021 --> 00:12:17,228
Uh, is the session almost over, Doc?
197
00:12:17,290 --> 00:12:19,236
Just a few more minutes.
198
00:12:19,292 --> 00:12:23,741
Oh, my watch must be slow.
Too many diamonds in it.
199
00:12:23,796 --> 00:12:26,675
This is our I Oth session, Dwayne.
200
00:12:26,732 --> 00:12:30,612
Duke. Hey, I ever show you this?
201
00:12:37,343 --> 00:12:41,155
“Dwayne 'Duke of Dunk' Granger.
202
00:12:41,214 --> 00:12:44,093
“Most Valuable Player.
203
00:12:44,150 --> 00:12:47,097
“Average: 47 points.
204
00:12:47,153 --> 00:12:50,293
“Thirty-nine rebounds in one game.
205
00:12:50,356 --> 00:12:52,700
“Holder of nine other records...
206
00:12:53,759 --> 00:12:56,763
“including most consecutive...
207
00:12:56,829 --> 00:13:01,778
“free throws,
best field goal percentage...
208
00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:05,839
“most games over 4O points...
209
00:13:05,905 --> 00:13:08,749
“most games over 5O points...
210
00:13:08,808 --> 00:13:12,381
“most blocked shots, most-
211
00:13:12,445 --> 00:13:14,823
Continued on next watch.“
212
00:13:20,253 --> 00:13:22,733
“Points in single quarter...
213
00:13:24,023 --> 00:13:26,867
most points in single half.“
214
00:13:26,926 --> 00:13:28,872
- Impressive.
- Yeah.
215
00:13:30,530 --> 00:13:33,136
- Dwayne-
- Mr. Magic.
216
00:13:33,199 --> 00:13:35,406
- Who-Who is Mr. Magic?
- Me. That's my new name.
217
00:13:35,468 --> 00:13:37,971
I just thought it up.
It's gonna spread like wildfire.
218
00:13:38,037 --> 00:13:39,983
In a week, it'll be a legend.
219
00:13:40,039 --> 00:13:42,349
We're never gonna get to
the real problem, are we?
220
00:13:42,408 --> 00:13:46,083
You never told me what
your real problem is.
221
00:13:46,145 --> 00:13:49,718
Does it have something to do
with, uh, being short?
222
00:13:51,317 --> 00:13:53,957
Your fines are all paid up.
You're square with your coach.
223
00:13:54,020 --> 00:13:56,694
Why don't you just go home?
224
00:13:56,756 --> 00:14:00,727
Ah, that's okay. I think
I can spare you a few more minutes.
225
00:14:00,793 --> 00:14:04,707
See, I thinkyou really do have a problem,
but, uh, you're afraid to talk about it.
226
00:14:04,764 --> 00:14:07,040
What do you mean? lfl had a problem
and wanted to talk about it...
227
00:14:07,099 --> 00:14:09,045
I'd talk about it with
my friends, wouldn't I?
228
00:14:09,101 --> 00:14:12,275
- From what I understand, you don't
have any friends. - What do you mean?
229
00:14:12,338 --> 00:14:15,410
I got plenty of friends.
All the guys on the team are my friends.
230
00:14:15,474 --> 00:14:19,012
I mean, that little guard, uh-
uh, whafs-his-name?
231
00:14:19,078 --> 00:14:21,854
- Buddyjohnson.
- 6 foot 1 , white guy.
232
00:14:21,914 --> 00:14:24,986
- Right.
- Yeah, he's my best friend.
233
00:14:26,152 --> 00:14:28,291
- You sure ifsjohnson?
- I'm sure.
234
00:14:29,655 --> 00:14:32,226
Dwayne, you don't have
any friends on the team.
235
00:14:32,291 --> 00:14:35,966
Ah, so what? Who needs friends?
Who needs the team?
236
00:14:36,028 --> 00:14:38,508
[Chuckles]
I am the team.
237
00:14:38,564 --> 00:14:42,034
No, you're not.
You'rejust a hot dog.
238
00:14:42,101 --> 00:14:45,310
So I'm a hot dog.
That's what the fans pay to see.
239
00:14:45,371 --> 00:14:48,875
Maybe so, but, uh,
a hot dog needs a bun.
240
00:14:51,711 --> 00:14:54,089
Think about that, Dwayne.
241
00:14:54,146 --> 00:14:57,616
A hot dog needs a bun.
242
00:14:57,683 --> 00:15:00,721
See, a hot dog needs a bun
to be picked up with.
243
00:15:00,786 --> 00:15:04,233
It might also need some ketchup
and some sauerkraut.
244
00:15:04,290 --> 00:15:09,262
In order to win, a hot dog needs a team,
just like you need a team.
245
00:15:09,328 --> 00:15:11,968
Yeah? Well, urn, I like
hot clogs with just beans.
246
00:15:12,031 --> 00:15:16,639
I'm a hot dog, and the fans are the beans,
so that's all I need.
247
00:15:16,702 --> 00:15:19,808
- [ Sighs]
- Dwayne.
248
00:15:19,872 --> 00:15:22,819
The Sunspots have lost
13 games in a row.
249
00:15:22,875 --> 00:15:26,755
Now, if you keep losing,
you're gonna lose your beans.
250
00:15:28,314 --> 00:15:30,590
The world's full of beans.
251
00:15:30,650 --> 00:15:34,826
- Your time's up.
- Oh. Well, uh, will I be seeing you next week?
252
00:15:34,887 --> 00:15:36,833
No, you won't.
Your fines are all paid.
253
00:15:36,889 --> 00:15:42,362
Oh, yeah, I know that, but, uh,
I kind of like to listen to you... babble.
254
00:15:42,428 --> 00:15:44,635
Fine, I'll, uh, see you next week.
255
00:15:44,697 --> 00:15:48,110
Hey, you know, Doc, you really
said some intelligent things today.
256
00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:50,204
- That's nice to know.
- Yeah.
257
00:15:50,269 --> 00:15:52,943
You really made me
realize something-
258
00:15:53,005 --> 00:15:56,782
You don't have to be tall to be smart.
[Laughs]
259
00:16:02,248 --> 00:16:04,125
Can I have the, uh, sports section?
260
00:16:04,183 --> 00:16:07,187
Waita minute.
I'm not finished reading it.
261
00:16:07,253 --> 00:16:09,563
- You're, uh, reading the sports section?
- Mm-hmm.
262
00:16:09,622 --> 00:16:11,568
Why?
263
00:16:11,624 --> 00:16:14,628
Well, maybe I'm interested in seeing
if Phil Esposito scored any goals...
264
00:16:14,694 --> 00:16:17,197
against the revamped
Boston Bruin defense.
265
00:16:18,397 --> 00:16:20,343
Did he?
266
00:16:20,399 --> 00:16:24,870
Yes, he did. “A 50-foot slap shot.
The goalie never saw it because he was screened.“
267
00:16:24,937 --> 00:16:27,213
Did you understand one word
of what you just said?
268
00:16:27,273 --> 00:16:30,083
Yes, Boston.
269
00:16:31,877 --> 00:16:33,823
It's a city in Massachusetts.
270
00:16:33,879 --> 00:16:35,825
Can I have the sports section, please?
271
00:16:35,881 --> 00:16:37,827
Why can't they write this
in English? Listen.
272
00:16:37,883 --> 00:16:41,763
“Chi-town Sunspots eclipsed
in doleful drubbing.“
273
00:16:41,821 --> 00:16:44,700
- Yeah?
- You understand that?
274
00:16:44,757 --> 00:16:48,068
- The Sunspots lost.
- Well, why can't they just say that?
275
00:16:48,127 --> 00:16:51,631
Well, I guess they had a lot of space
to fill up the newspaper and, uh...
276
00:16:51,697 --> 00:16:54,075
they filled it up.
277
00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:56,374
- How doleful was the drubbing?
- Uh.
278
00:16:56,435 --> 00:16:59,541
Uh,116t042.
279
00:17:01,073 --> 00:17:04,145
- The Sunspots only got 42?
- That's right. It says here...
280
00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:07,555
“Kamal Kamir Simpson was high
for the Sunspots with six.
281
00:17:07,613 --> 00:17:10,617
Duke of Dunk passes instead
of shoots. Scores only 4.“
282
00:17:10,683 --> 00:17:12,720
- Let me see that.
- I'm reading it.
283
00:17:12,785 --> 00:17:14,890
- He's my client.
- Well, it's my paper.
284
00:17:14,954 --> 00:17:18,561
- I wanna read about my patient.
- I will read it to you.
285
00:17:19,859 --> 00:17:22,840
- It's wrinkled.
- You wrinkled it.
286
00:17:22,895 --> 00:17:26,502
Listen to this. “Interviewed after the game
about his performance, the Duke said...
287
00:17:26,565 --> 00:17:28,670
'I'm only trying to please the beans.“'
288
00:17:28,734 --> 00:17:30,805
Now what the hell does that mean?
289
00:17:33,305 --> 00:17:35,251
Beans are fans.
290
00:17:35,307 --> 00:17:38,413
Well, I'm never gonna
understand sports.
291
00:17:38,477 --> 00:17:41,890
I don't feel sorry for you.
I'll never understand the woman's page.
292
00:17:41,947 --> 00:17:43,893
- Mmm.
- Look at this.
293
00:17:43,949 --> 00:17:46,293
Uh...
294
00:17:46,352 --> 00:17:50,061
“Fall fashions feature pastels.“
295
00:17:50,122 --> 00:17:52,068
Now-Now what's that
supposed to mean?
296
00:17:52,124 --> 00:17:55,901
It means there are gonna be
a lot of pastel shades in the fall fashions.
297
00:17:55,961 --> 00:17:57,963
Then why can't they just say that?
298
00:17:59,532 --> 00:18:01,842
Hey, Bob, Emily. Look what happened.
299
00:18:01,901 --> 00:18:05,041
Howard, I'm so sorry.
300
00:18:05,104 --> 00:18:08,142
I mean, I know how much
he meant to you.
301
00:18:08,207 --> 00:18:11,416
Howard,just, uh-just leave him.
I'll-I'll flush him.
302
00:18:13,612 --> 00:18:16,957
No, no, no. He had babies.
303
00:18:17,016 --> 00:18:19,155
Nine of'em.
I don't understand what happened.
304
00:18:19,218 --> 00:18:21,357
You think maybe, uh, he's a girl?
305
00:18:22,621 --> 00:18:25,659
It's a possibility
you're gonna have to consider.
306
00:18:25,724 --> 00:18:28,204
Then who's the father?
307
00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:30,831
Maybe it's the commander of that
little plastic submarine in there.
308
00:18:35,234 --> 00:18:38,443
They, uh- They go crazy on weekends.
309
00:18:39,939 --> 00:18:43,910
No, Howard's fish would
never go for a servicemen.
310
00:18:43,976 --> 00:18:46,684
Women do crazy things
for men in uniform.
311
00:18:46,745 --> 00:18:50,693
Well, maybe once, Bob,
in a fit of passion, but nine times?
312
00:18:50,749 --> 00:18:55,198
For every submarine commander,
there's a submarine crew.
313
00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:12,607
- Carol, take a letter please.
- SureJer. Wait till I get my quill.
314
00:19:12,671 --> 00:19:16,141
- Shoot.
- “To Dr. Robert Hartley“-
315
00:19:16,208 --> 00:19:18,154
Wouldn't it be easier
to talk to him?
316
00:19:18,210 --> 00:19:23,387
“Dear Dr. Hartley, this is to inform you
that I am no longer talking to you.“
317
00:19:23,449 --> 00:19:26,555
- Oh.
- “I am appalled at your thoughtlessness...
318
00:19:26,619 --> 00:19:29,099
your rudeness
and your inconsideration.“
319
00:19:29,154 --> 00:19:31,998
Goodness graciousJerry.
Whatever has happened?
320
00:19:32,057 --> 00:19:36,665
- Bob's being thoughtless, rude and inconsiderate.
- No wonder you're appalled.
321
00:19:36,729 --> 00:19:40,006
“Furthermore, the Chicago
Sunspots warm-upjacket...
322
00:19:40,065 --> 00:19:42,409
“which you promised me
three weeks ago...
323
00:19:42,468 --> 00:19:45,244
has not arrived.“
324
00:19:45,304 --> 00:19:47,250
- Hi, Carol.
- Morning, Bob.
325
00:19:47,306 --> 00:19:51,413
- HLJerry.
- Carol, would you, uh, read that back, please?
326
00:19:51,477 --> 00:19:55,926
“Dear Dr. Hartley, this is to inform you
that I am no longer talking to you.“
327
00:19:55,981 --> 00:19:58,257
What's, uh- What's the problem?
328
00:19:58,317 --> 00:20:00,820
Something about a “whim-rutjunket.“
329
00:20:00,886 --> 00:20:03,127
Warm-up jacket.
330
00:20:03,188 --> 00:20:06,226
Jerry, I said I'd try
to get thejacket.
331
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:10,399
“L n conclusion, I hope one clay you will realize
one of the worst things in the world...
332
00:20:10,462 --> 00:20:15,207
is to renege on a promise
to an orphan.“
333
00:20:16,368 --> 00:20:18,314
Jerry, if you want
thejacket that bad...
334
00:20:18,370 --> 00:20:20,646
why don't you buy one
at the department store?
335
00:20:20,706 --> 00:20:26,679
“RS. All of the department stores
are out of extra-largejackets.”
336
00:20:29,114 --> 00:20:32,960
- Uh, get Chuck McCoy on the phone for me,
will you, Carol? - I have to type this letter.
337
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,826
- Or I could wait.
- [ Elevator Bell Dings]
338
00:20:37,890 --> 00:20:40,803
- Hi, Duke.
- Aw, gee.
339
00:20:40,859 --> 00:20:44,807
- How'd you recognize me?
- You should've used a shorter disguise.
340
00:20:46,365 --> 00:20:48,311
Duke, why are you dressed like that?
341
00:20:48,367 --> 00:20:51,974
Didn't you read the read the paper this morning?
They called me “the Duke of Dull.“
342
00:20:52,037 --> 00:20:55,280
Remember the Celtics?
They were dull and all they did was win.
343
00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:59,414
- Carol, don't you have a letter to type?
- Oh, yeah.
344
00:20:59,478 --> 00:21:02,652
Why don't we go in the office?
She doesn't understand sports.
345
00:21:02,715 --> 00:21:07,494
“PPS, And what about
the autographed basketball?"
346
00:21:10,155 --> 00:21:14,228
Okay, Doc. I did it your way.
You saw what happened.
347
00:21:14,293 --> 00:21:16,569
- It was a “doleful drubbing.“
- Mmm.
348
00:21:16,628 --> 00:21:19,336
But it's, uh, the first time
you ever played as a team player.
349
00:21:19,398 --> 00:21:22,641
Every pass I threw to those guys
went through their hands and out-of-bounds.
350
00:21:22,701 --> 00:21:25,773
- Maybe they just weren't used to it.
- Ah, those guys stink.
351
00:21:25,838 --> 00:21:28,114
- You can't win 'em all.
- Terrific.
352
00:21:28,173 --> 00:21:31,677
Well, listen, if I can't win 'em all,
I gotta do what's right for me.
353
00:21:31,744 --> 00:21:35,521
- What's that? - I gotta be who I am.
I'm an arrogant, millionaire superstar.
354
00:21:35,581 --> 00:21:38,255
I gotta shoot the ball
every time I get my hands on it.
355
00:21:38,317 --> 00:21:41,696
I mean, I had enough of
the, uh, mustard, onions and sauerkraut.
356
00:21:41,754 --> 00:21:44,826
- Well, that was just an analogy.
- Yeah.
357
00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:48,099
Well, uh, try and come up
with a better one.
358
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,504
All right, um-
359
00:21:50,562 --> 00:21:52,872
How about the Hancock Tower analogy?
360
00:21:52,931 --> 00:21:55,741
Yeah, the Hancock Tower. That's me.
361
00:21:55,801 --> 00:21:59,248
Yeah, standing up there
a hundred stories high, towering over the city.
362
00:21:59,304 --> 00:22:02,751
Yeah, but it doesn't
stand up by itself.
363
00:22:02,808 --> 00:22:05,152
What, uh- What holds it together?
364
00:22:05,210 --> 00:22:07,156
Ketchup?
365
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,261
No, girders and mortar and steel.
366
00:22:11,316 --> 00:22:14,490
Oh, what about rivets?
367
00:22:14,553 --> 00:22:18,729
- Have you heard this analogy before?
- No, no.
368
00:22:18,791 --> 00:22:21,237
Look, try it my way one more time...
369
00:22:21,293 --> 00:22:24,672
and, uh, maybe your passes won't
bounce off their foreheads.
370
00:22:24,730 --> 00:22:28,200
- What if I don't? - Then I'm afraid
you'll have to listen to another analogy.
371
00:22:28,267 --> 00:22:30,213
Okay, I'll try it.
372
00:22:30,269 --> 00:22:32,806
Listen, I'm only doing it
'cause I respect you.
373
00:22:32,871 --> 00:22:36,978
I mean, uh, you're the kind of guy
I can really look up to.
374
00:22:38,777 --> 00:22:40,984
Thanks. Your, uh-
375
00:22:41,046 --> 00:22:44,289
Your fines are all paid, so I'm gonna have
to start charging you for your sessions.
376
00:22:44,349 --> 00:22:47,421
Oh, yeah?
How much is it gonna be, stretch?
377
00:22:47,486 --> 00:22:49,432
Thirty-five dollars.
378
00:22:49,488 --> 00:22:51,468
Ah, that's a drop in the bucket.
379
00:22:51,523 --> 00:22:53,628
Oh, and, uh, by the way...
380
00:22:53,692 --> 00:22:57,538
could you get me
a Sunspot warm-upjacket, extra-large?
381
00:22:57,596 --> 00:23:01,305
- You're not extra-large.
- It's for a friend of mine.
382
00:23:01,366 --> 00:23:04,870
Oh, sure. They're 35 bucks.
383
00:23:04,937 --> 00:23:07,383
Hey, I want you to come down
to practice sometime, okay?
384
00:23:07,439 --> 00:23:09,385
We'll go one-on-one.
385
00:23:14,313 --> 00:23:17,590
I'll put you in the popcorn machine.
386
00:23:34,133 --> 00:23:36,374
- Good morning, Carol. ls Bob in?
- Yes.
387
00:23:36,435 --> 00:23:39,177
He's downstairs having coffee
with his therapy group.
388
00:23:39,238 --> 00:23:41,240
[Laughs]
389
00:23:43,008 --> 00:23:45,989
- Think I should take it in?
- I thinkyou should take it off.
390
00:23:47,212 --> 00:23:49,692
[Elevator Bell Dings]
391
00:23:52,651 --> 00:23:55,495
Carol, I'd like you to meet
my “Fear of Winning“ therapy group.
392
00:23:55,554 --> 00:23:57,864
Yeah, these are my best friends.
393
00:23:57,923 --> 00:23:59,903
- Uh, this is Buddy, um-
-johnson.
394
00:23:59,958 --> 00:24:02,495
Yeah, rightjohnson. And, uh, um-
395
00:24:02,561 --> 00:24:05,337
- Roger McCusker.
- Yeah, that's it. And somebody Russ, right?
396
00:24:05,397 --> 00:24:07,399
And, uh- Oh. Where is he?
397
00:24:07,466 --> 00:24:10,538
Kamal Kamir Simpson.
398
00:24:16,141 --> 00:24:18,280
Well, why don't you go in my office?
399
00:24:20,312 --> 00:24:23,350
Come on, Kamal. Come here.
400
00:24:23,415 --> 00:24:25,361
Come here. Come in.
401
00:24:59,918 --> 00:25:01,226
[ Mews]
34453
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